Work Text:
Chansoo week day 4- Sun/Moon
“It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you. Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine”
Back to december- Taylor Swift
It was raining when Kyungsoo got home, dark clouds filled the sky and fat drops kept staining the windows. He felt the weather was adequate for how he felt inside.
It's been days since the last time he spoke to Chanyeol and he couldn't be feeling worse, not having the older around was like not having oxygen, he had come too accustomed to having him that the mere thought of not having the older around made him lose his breath.
But it was all his fault, and he recognized it. He made a mess of Yeol and of their relationship, he never planned it that way or wanted things to turn against them.
Everything just turned into too much too soon, and he was afraid, it was never his intention to hurt Yeol, the taller was -still is, will always be- the love of his life and he hated himself everyday for hurting him.
“You know he still wears your ring?” Junmyeon had told him a few days ago.
He had looked at the leader in complete shock, he had no idea that he kept his ring and much less that he wore it, the leader seem to notice it and kept talking.
“Maybe you should talk to him, tell him how you feel, because we can all see that you still love him Kyungsoo, it's not healthy for either of you”
For the first time since they met, Kyungsoo cried in front of Junmyeon.
Kyungsoo never meant to hurt Chanyeol this much, he thought he was protecting him,he thought he was doing the best for them.
Maybe he was wrong, maybe he made a mistake, he should've fight for their love and not give up like he did when things got heavier. He possibly ruined the love of his life and didn't even known if he still had a chance to make things right.
But he was going to try.
Kyungsoo always seen Chanyeol as the sun, not just his sun, but the actual sun. The one that shines for everyone and everything.
And he always seen himself as the moon, not as constant, not as bright as the sun. The moon shines because of the light it receives from the sun, and that's exactly how the relationship between him and Chanyeol went.
To think that he might actually be the one to turn off the light from the sun made him sick.
He knocked on Chanyeol’s door three times before the other finally decided to let him in, the older looked like he have been crying and it broke Kyungsoo’s heart even further.
“ I… I don't know where to begin with” he said, his head hang low and he wouldn't dare to look at Chanyeol.
“Then why are you here?” the older replied “You can't even look at me Kyungsoo, did Junmyeon hyung send you?”
“What? No, no I came here on my own, I mean I did talked to him before coming but I'm here because I want to” he said and finally looked up to meet the taller”s gaze.
And there it was, the sun shining in all his splendor in front of him, he will always be weak in front of him, that's how the sun works, it gives you everything but you can't stare for too long without being blinded by it.
But god if being blind meant he could stare at Chanyeol he would gladly be blind.
He was staring intensely at the other and didn't notice till his cheeks started to get rosy and he blushed too in return.
“ I came here to say sorry” he began “For everything that I've done, for making you feel like your love wasn't enough, when it was everything to me, I'm sorry for letting my fear win, I'm sorry because I didn't fight for us when I should've had. But the most important thing I'm so sorry for it's for hurting you, I've never meant to hurt you, I was trying to protect you against all the other things that could hurt you but ended up hurting you myself, and I hate it, Yeol, I hate myself so much for it you have no idea” tears were clouding up his view by this point.
Chanyeol also had tears in his eyes but he stayed silent.
Kyungsoo took a deep breath and continued “But if you're done with me, if you do, I understand and it's probably the right thing, but please know that I will always love you, you'll always be the only one I'll ever love”
Chanyeol wiped his tears with his thumbs and smiled sadly at him but it was still bright.
“I don't think I can ever be done with you Kyungsoo” he said and huffed “I forgive you, I understand what you tried to do too” he said as he caressed the younger’s hand.
Kyungsoo’s heart was beating so hard he thought it will break his ribcage, he grabbed the other's face and stared at him, memorizing every trait and realized just how perfect he was.
“Can I kiss you?” he gulped.
“Please” Chanyeol said and moved forward.
And they kissed, slow like it was the first time, because it kind of was, they took time to explore each other. Kyungsoo softly caressed Chanyeol’s neck, playing with the hair there while the other rested his hands on the younger’s chest.
The need of air was evident soon enough and they parted, resting their foreheads together.
And maybe if Kyungsoo tries hard enough, the Beatles could be right and love could be all they need.
And he will try, because after all the moon can't exist without the sun, and they will always follow and wait for each other.