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It’s kind of ridiculous. Scratch that, it’s completely and utterly ridiculous to think that ten years later, ten years of silence and thrown out wedding invitations, fronted phone calls and broken connections, that anyone would even want to talk to Byun Baekhyun. But here he is lounging around on his awkwardly sized California King, flipping through pages and pages of phone numbers. He doesn’t remember when his handy old address book began to look more and more like the city’s phonebook, littered with tens of hundreds of numbers for people he can barely even remember.
This isn’t by choice, per se. Subjecting himself to listening to the drone of dial tones, to the monotonous voice that points out to him that the number is no longer in service, this isn’t something he’d ever thought he would put himself through. But there’s a fancy piece of gold trimmed parchment that cordially invites him to the 5 year reunion of his college graduate class and, as Jongdae had somehow managed to convince him, he sure as hell isn’t going to show up without a date -- even if he has to twists someone’s arm into going.
He’s just about to stop. He’s been doing this for about an hour already and no one’s picked up and for a second, he considers just shutting the little address book, tucking it back safely into the dusty old box of old sweaters and youth league soccer trophies from which it came from when the line picks up and Baekhyun’s heart soars.
"Hello?"
It’s Chanyeol.
It’s dumb. It’s really dumb how Baekhyun’s hand is shaking but really, it's just so reminiscent. The voice, the deep timbre that reverberates over the line. It reminds Baekhyun of sneaking in the halls and after school tutoring sessions. Of sleepless nights, of summers spent lounging around, laughing, swimming in the frigid waters of the lake. Running home at dusk.
Baekhyun doesn't remember when those things started feeling like forever ago.
There’s a lump in his throat that clearly wasn’t there before. The words are escaping him and it takes him a while -- a worrying amount of time, really, he’s surprised that the other side hasn’t hung up yet -- before he can get out a simple hello. His words are quiet. It’s almost a whisper when he strains to hear his words himself. His stomach is twisting and his heart thudding in a way that’s almost shameless. "It's Baekhyun. Remember me?"
”Baekhyun?” Chanyeol says once and it’s hard to gauge what he’s thinking from just a single word. It’s not long before he’s repeating a bit more enthusiastically, ”Baekhyun? The one who left us for the thrills and temptation of the city?”
Baekhyun presses the phone a bit closer to him and replies in a small but amused voice. Is this how they really refer to him back in town? “The very one.”
”Really? Baekhyun? How have you been, man? It's been so long!” The excitement picks up in Chanyeol's voice and it’s addicting, honestly, the kind of happiness that Chanyeol seems to be able to radiate through a mere phone call. It's pulling a smile out of Baekhyun's face and the tension bleeds easily out of his shoulder as they settle into casual conversation.
There’s the talk about his mom, his old squad of high school friends, along with some run-of-the-mill small town gossip that Baekhyun really hasn’t asked for but he finds himself sucked back into the realm of failed marriages and doublecrossed friendships anyways. They’re about an hour or so into talking and the sun’s already beginning to set and there’s really no easy way to segue into the topic of conversation that Baekhyun’s truly vying for, so whenever there's a moment of silence, a quiet lapse of topic, Baekhyun just throws it somewhere in there: “Are you doing anything the second Saturday of next month?”
An understandable pause, a quiet mumble of confusion from the other side. Baekhyun holds his breath. “Are you coming home for a visit?” Chanyeol asks curiously. There’s a bit of excitement in his voice, although it’s obvious how he tries to keep it reeled in.
“Nothing like that,” Baekhyun is quick to explain. He’s drawing circles in the sheets of his bed, thinking of the best way to phrase this. “I just wanted to know if you were maybe interested in coming to visit Seoul?”
Another pause, a brief moment of silence, before Chanyeol dares to ask, “You’ve been M.I.A for nearly a decade and suddenly you want someone to visit you?”
And perhaps, on second thought, this was a terrible idea. Not only is it a completely selfish reason for inviting someone over, but there’s no way to convince them to actually come. There’s no incentive, there’s no real rhyme or reason why anyone should even agree to this quite messily thought-out proposition and this is stupid. He should’ve never--
“Okay.” The response is quiet at first, barely above a murmur that it has Baekhyun questioning if he’s just imagining things.
“What?”
This time, Chanyeol’s answer is louder, far more assured, “Yeah. I’m free, I’ve got nothing to do. Why not? I’ve always wanted to visit the city anyways.” The last part seems to be more of self justification, like he’s still in the process of convincing himself, but Baekhyun doesn’t give him the luxury of talking himself out of his hastily made decision.
“Okay, so you should arrive on Friday, I guess. The train’s probably the fastest way to get here -- cheapest too. Oh! And I’ll reimburse you for your train tickets to and from Seoul. You can just stay with me at my apartment and I’ll show you all the best places out here too!” There’s a certain sort of giddiness that’s already beginning to find its place in Baekhyun’s tone, and it’s weird to think how exciting the prospect of pretty much a grown up version of a sleepover is.
“Alright, alright,” Chanyeol laughs good naturedly, “I gotta go get dinner started right now, we can plan all this a little later. I guess I’ll see you in a couple weeks.”
Baekhyun smiles. “See you then.”
“Why’d you think that this would be a good idea?” Kyungsoo, Baekhyun’s neighbor, is chiding from where he’s sitting high up on one of Baekhyun’s counter barstools. While Baekhyun’s legs are long enough to just barely scrape the ground if he bends his feet at precisely the right angle, Kyungsoo is left just swinging his legs in the air like a child. Baekhyun wonders if he knows how counterintuitive that resting scowl looks on someone that doesn’t seem more than a day over 12. He’s not brave enough to say that outloud though.
Baekhyun shrugs. Currently, he’s in the middle of arranging the decorative pillows on his couch for the nth time. Kyungsoo’s really been no help in the process, criticizing Baekhyun for leaving even a single inch of the pillows unfluffed. “I needed a date. What’s wrong with just getting a little creative with it?” Baekhyun throws back as he tries his best to pinch out the little dent in the pillow. In the end, he decides to just flip it over. Chanyeol would be none the wiser.
“Don’t think I didn’t see that,” Kyungsoo calls out right as Baekhyun stands up, but he doesn’t make any move to force Baekhyun into fixing his mistake. “But honestly, you don’t even know the guy.”
“I used to,” Baekhyun makes sure to correct. He takes a moment to survey his handiwork before moving closer to where Kyungsoo is situated. Kyungsoo swivels the stool to keep his gaze on Baekhyun as he goes and leans up on the kitchen counter. “We used to be the best of friends back in high school.” Closer than friends, Baekhyun neglects to tell Kyungsoo, or at least he’d always wanted a different definition back then.
“That’s like 500 years ago for you.”
Baekhyun scoffs, squints as if he’s been offended, “Excuse me, 503 years ago?” He’s about to say something more to defend himself, but he gets distracted by some crusting material that’s dirtying his otherwise pristine marble counters. He preoccupies himself with scraping at it with his nail.
It takes a grand total of fifteen seconds for Kyungsoo to roll his eyes, rip off a paper towel, lean over the sink to wet the towel, and then hand it to Baekhyun to clean the stain, and Baekhyun thinks that they’re getting better at this little routine. “My point is that people change. He could be completely different by now.”
Baekhyun knows what he means; he gets the not so subtle dig that's buried somewhere in there, but he also chooses to ignore it. Instead, he goes for the more oblivious response. “He was fairly attractive back then, you know. And his dad was handsome in his own way too so I don’t think he could’ve aged that badly.”
And it’s not the first time he’s ever done it, but Kyungsoo rolls his eyes like Baekhyun's is quite possibly the stupidest person in the world. He doesn’t bother to even validate Baekhyun’s response with an answer, but Baekhyun takes it as an opportunity to excuse himself.
“Well I have to go pick him up from the station,” He pushes himself up from off of the counter. Balling up the used paper towel in his hand, he throws it into the trash can a couple feet away and revels in the fact that it actually goes in. “I’ll be back later tonight if you want to meet him or something.”
Kyungsoo makes a face, “What makes you think I want to meet whatever serial killer you just invited over. Do call me when you're getting killed though. I’ve always wanted to know how you finally go.”
“Of course, man. Gladly,” Baekhyun offers a genuine smile and graciously flips him off.
Baekhyun is a bit early arriving at the train station. Either that or the trains are running a bit late, but he honestly doesn't know quite which. It’s not important anyways, he just kinda spends his time pacing through the few underground subway station shops and shouldering through the masses of people that push through whenever the subway unloads before he whips out his phone and just scrolls mindlessly through the news.
It feels like it's only seconds later whenever Baekhyun hears his name being called and his eyes are forcibly wrenched up from where he’s watching some video about the beaks of different birds to see, standing a good ten feet in front of him, Park Chanyeol.
Or at least he thinks it’s Chanyeol since his eyesight been getting a little blurry from all the days spent behind a computer screen, but as the silhouette comes a bit closer, it’s no longer hard to identify. Contrary to what Kyungsoo had said before, Chanyeol is the same. He’s the exact same with the way that his hair falls boyish and messy over his forehead and his smile stretches wide across his face and for a second Baekhyun’s shameless enough to let his heart skip a beat.
The words -- greetings, social niceties, whatever -- aren’t coming to him and Baekhyun just kind of smiles in return and he’s nodding even though he’s really not supposed to be nodding at anything. Chanyeol’s already a reasonable space away from him, and Baekhyun thinks that social norm dictates that he is to stand up now, although he’s not quite sure if he should shake Chanyeol’s hand or perhaps just go straight in for the hug. It's hard to know quite just where they stand.
Despite the nine years that separate them, Chanyeol’s goes for the second option, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun’s shoulder and squeezing tight, tighter than Baekhyun ever remembers it being. What he does remember is the scent that hangs off Chanyeol, the odd sort of nostalgia that arises whenever Baekhyun stupidly presses his nose into Chanyeol’s shoulders. He smells a bit like sandalwood and spice and a lot like home.
“It’s been a while,” Baekhyun starts out, and he doesn't mean to be rude, but he's the one to pull out of their embrace, establishing normal spacing between the two of them again. “Nine years and you still look the same.”
Chanyeol takes it as a compliment, his chest puffing up a bit in pride although Baekhyun’s not really sure what’s so impressive about the achievement. “I wish I could say the same to you,” He laughs back, “But you’ve got a whole ‘nother look going on for you here.”
And it’s not like Baekhyun’s particularly dressed up today -- he’d gone without his usual set of iron pressed slacks and a tie -- but he still feels overtly overdressed next to Chanyeol in his button down shirt and cuffed sleeves. Seeing Chanyeol in an oversized band t-shirt and some lived-in jeans, has Baekhyun reaching up to undo the top button of his collar. “Seoul really changes you,” He forces a laugh, “How are things with you?”
That question apparently has a three pronged answer and the two of them are standing in the middle of the station for another good twenty minutes as they just talk about some things going down in their hometown. It’s not long before the station starts to get busy as a crowd of people begin to walk around them and for a brief second their conversation is lost as it’s drown out by the new set of people who chose to pass into Seoul station. One particular elderly lady refuses to change her course of direction and she ends up elbowing Baekhyun in the ribcage as she goes by.
“Sorry,” Baekhyun bows more out of courtesy than actual apology although the person doesn't seem to pay any heed to what Baekhyun has said. The old woman just scurries away just as fast as she had come. In a moment, she's gone. Baekhyun’s shifting his attention back to Chanyeol who looks a little taken aback by the encounter. “We should get out of here.”
Chanyeol just laughs, nods.
Like a good host, Baekhyun reaches for the one piece of luggage that Chanyeol’s brought on his person, and pulls its toward him. “I’ve got my car parked just like a block away and we can figure out what to do from there.
“Are you tired?” Baekhyun eventually asks again whenever they've reached his car and he’s working on packing Chanyeol’s luggage into the trunk. He’s circling back around to get behind the wheel.
“I’m good,” comes Chanyeol’s assured response. He’s already slipping into the passenger seat, fiddling with the seat settings in order to accommodate for his long legs. Baekhyun can't help but feel a bit bad whenever he’s positioned all the way back and his knees still graze the dashboard. “I slept for most of the train ride here.”
“I can't imagine that being comfortable,” Baekhyun mumbles before smiling, revving his engine. “But that’s good, because I’m about to take you to the best fishcake cart in the city.”
The sun has already long set by the time they end up returning back to Baekhyun’s apartment. After checking out the oh-so-iconic cart, the rest of the day had been spent running around the streets of Seoul, checking out some nooks and crannies of the city that Baekhyun hadn't even known of. By the time they get home, Baekhyun legs are sore and he feels a bit like he's about to collapse.
“I didn't expect it to be this warm,” Chanyeol mumbles under his breath. “It’s already spring for god’s sake.” He’s sufficiently spread out on the couch, already looking quite at home amongst the leather of the seats. His jackets already been thrown up onto a hook on the wall and he’s currently fanning himself with his shirt. Even if this is his first time visiting, he certainly looks like he belongs here.
“It’s terrible,” Baekhyun agrees as he rocks backwards onto the back legs of a dining room chair. His arms are folded over the chair and his chin rests on the top of the back. They sit far apart to cool off as the air conditioning kicks in. “Even I’m not used to it by now.”
“Still not a true Seoulite, I see.” Chanyeol sticks out his tongue. He’s not wrong.
“More than you'll ever be,” Baekhyun jokes back, smacking Chanyeol with the chicken menu that’s just so conveniently located in his hand. They’d ordered two chicken about fifteen minutes ago and they're still waiting for the delivery guy to come by.
Although it feels like eternities later as they pass the time listening to their stomachs rumble, there’s a knock at Baekhyun’s door and he’s throwing himself out of the chair at record speed, sprinting towards the door. The sprint leaves him exhausted, huffing and puffing as he answers the delivery man, but it's honestly worth it to get their food just two minutes faster. After he passes cash to the astounded delivery guy, Baekhyun’s closing the door behind him, making a beeline for the table. By now, Chanyeol’s already relocated to one of the chairs in the dining room, twiddling his fingers as he waits for Baekhyun to return.
Although it looks like Chanyeol's about to pounce whenever Baekhyun so much as let's go of the bag of chicken, Baekhyun insists he waits, returning to the kitchen to grab some things. To fill the silence, he speaks. “Hey so I have a secret,” Baekhyun begins as he starts to pull out some dishes from his cupboard. It’s not the most ominous way to start a conversation, but it’s definitely a top contender. That much is obvious from the way Chanyeol freezes in Baekhyun’s peripheral, how he looks over at Baekhyun with something almost akin to suspicion in his gaze.
“Is this your way of telling me that you’re going to kill me?” Chanyeol tries to joke, “Because people back home warned me about this.”
And it was Baekhyun’s full intention to just get straight to telling Chanyeol about the reunion, but Chanyeol’s comment piques his interest. “Did they actually?” Baekhyun turns around and asks. He’s surprised to see Chanyeol acting so nonchalant over the topic. He’s back to rapping his fingers against the table, sliding one palm underneath his face to prop up his chin as he stares at Baekhyun with interest.
“Yeah. Zitao and Sehun -- remember them? They were joking,” Chanyeol assures with a laugh, before stopping, squinting, “Unless… they were… right?”
“What? No, nothing like that. I just have a college reunion tomorrow night and I was wondering if you wanted to tag along.” Baekhyun affirms, walking back into the dining room with a small stack of plates and silverware. He passes over the plates in a gesture for Chanyeol to take one.
It’s an offer that has Chanyeol doing a double take as he reaches for one. His eyes dart up to Baekhyun in the middle of the passoff to shoot an understandable confused look.
“It’s nothing formal. Probably just a casual little get together with some booze and music. Figured you'd like it,” Baekhyun tries at first to make it sound like a glancing topic, an event that just so happened to slip his mind when he’d planned Chanyeol’s visit. It’s obvious to see from the scrunch of Chanyeol’s brow that he doesn't believe it. Baekhyun sighs, lets the truth come out. “Okay full disclosure? One of the reasons I invited you out here was so that I’d have someone to accompany me.”
It’s an embarrassing statement really, something so utterly stupid and childish, and Baekhyun can already feel the way his face is heating up. To avoid further embarrassment, he just looks straight down at the varnished wood of his table as he mutters, “It’s fine if you say no, okay? I’ll accept it. I’m not totally pathetic as to beg you to come.”
“You say that,” Chanyeol starts up. From the sounds of the shift of material, the soft thud as he places his plate down, Then there’s the crinkling of plastic, hands rooting through the delivered bag. Chanyeol back to setting the table and he sets one set of cheap wooden chopsticks on the plate right in Baekhyun’s direct line of vision. “But honestly it's not such a bad deal. Drinks, music, all in a brand new city. Even if it is a reunion, it sounds like quite a fun one.”
And that's it, the magic words. Baekhyun back to smiling now, sitting up before settling into the back of his seat. “Good,” Baekhyun nods before opening up the box full of chicken and propping a piece onto each of their plates. It takes Baekhyun about ten minutes in from whenever they started eating and talking about the new girl group JYP is debuting for him to feel the need to clarify: “You know that means you're going as my date, right?”
There’s something about that one specific word, that string of four letters that somehow sours the atmosphere they'd just gotten around to creating. And there’s just something in the way that Chanyeol looks at him, something in his unsettling gaze, but it has Baekhyun’s heart pounding, his nerves on end. It’s like he’s back in high school, like he’s back to crushing on his (ex?) best friend, like he’s reverted back to sneaking glances in the dark. It’s been 9 years. He hadn’t expected this to resurface.
Baekhyun tries his best to swallow it down whenever Chanyeol just shrugs, plays it off. “I get it. Dating can be hard.”
His response is surprising, his whole nonchalance to the situation is surprising. Back in high school, back when Baekhyun had just come out, he remembers Chanyeol being speechless. He remembers shallow hugs and a swift pat on the back; he remembers the look of absolute confusion and terror, comfort from an arms distance. Perhaps he’s changed, Baekhyun supposes, perhaps he’s finally come around.
“Are you insulting my love life?” Baekhyun tries to joke snapping his chicken bone as part of the gag to lighten the mood. Chanyeol at least takes the bait and laughs.
Chanyeol gasps, expression contorted in mock blasphemy, raises his hand to his mouth for extra effect. “How could I ever? I’m sure you're just as much as a ladykiller.”
“I mean,” Baekhyun chokes a laugh, “That's sort of going in the whole other direction, but I guess you can say that to.”
It takes a while for Chanyeol to actually get the joke -- if it even is a joke. It’s good minute or two before the look of realization actually dawns on him, but Baekhyun’s already starting a new topic. “Why’d you agree to this, by the way?” He really just has to ask and it’s more than just asking about attending the reunion, it’s about why he came all the way out here. Why he bothered to actually meet up. It’s obvious to see it's not a topic Chanyeol expected Baekhyun to ask so straightforwardly, so soon.
“I mean, I figured there was some sort of reason behind it all, figured that you were using me for something but…” Chanyeol pauses, chews thoughtfully on his bite of chicken. “I guess, I also figured that if you of all people were calling me up almost 10 years later, then it really must be some sort of cry for help.”
“I’m doing good,” Baekhyun tries his best to assure, although he’s certain he doesn't sounds nearly as convincing as he’d like. “No need to worry about me.”
“Okay then good,” Chanyeol smiles and it looks kiddish with the smattering of grease that lines the outside of his mouth. “I’m glad to hear.”
The reunion is at some club in the heart of Gangnam and it’s weird because it doesn't seem like the appropriate venue for a college graduate reunion. Not that he’d ever given much thought to the concept, but he’d always imagined these kind of things to happen at some hall of a ritzy hotel, perhaps a sort of rented out upscale piano bar. Definitely nothing like this. He briefly wonders who was in charge for bookings.
It’s honestly not the trashiest place in the world. The outside of the place doesn't look the fanciest, but the inside is nice. Red carpet and heavy set curtains that divide the outside reception from the rest of the reunion, it’s a nice touch to have a couple of greeters at the front along with a guest book propped up right in the middle of the room. After Baekhyun writes something or other about being honored to be here and how he still remembers all the good times he had before, he and Chanyeol are both given a nametag that’s meant to be pinned into their shirts. Baekhyun’s had been preprinted, but Chanyeol, as a surprise plus one, is given a blank one to fill out. It’s now covered with the scrawls of his name plus a little happy face added to the corner of the paper. They're ushered into the room in the back not long after.
Upon entering, it’s easy to see just how many people had showed up. The room is packed with bodies, lined with familiar faces, and Baekhyun stops in his tracks as he just sort of scans through the people. It’s weird to think about just how quickly time has passed, how easy it had become for these people, his peers for four years, to just fade into the background. He wonders if they even remember him anymore. It takes Chanyeol looping an arm over his shoulders, face pressing into Baekhyun’s ear to talk over the music, for Baekhyun to snap out of it. “You feeling nostalgic yet?” He asks. Baekhyun shivers from the sensation.
“Getting there,” Baekhyun murmurs although he’s sure Chanyeol can't hear him from over the music. It’s not that his response is all that important anyways. Baekhyun’s grabbing Chanyeol hand instead and guiding him into the throng of people.
From there, they just kind of socialize with whoever will have them. A good number seem to remember him, recall with fondness that he’s that one guy who’d always belt out pop songs when drunk, and they seem more than eager to find out what he’s doing nowadays. As it turns out, Chanyeol is also a good choice for a reunion date. He’s polite, courteous even with the onslaught of strangers he’s meeting, and he’s even so kind as to fetch some drinks for them both.
“It’s an open bar,” He’d assured Baekhyun whenever he’d come back with a fourth drink. He's doing pretty well holding his alcohol, his eyes still seemingly clear and focused. Baekhyun remembers the first time they'd gotten drunk, whenever their whole friend group had decided to have a taste. Back then, Chanyeol had shit tolerance, tapped out after a fourth shot. It seems he’d gotten better with it through the years.
“Don't pass out on me now,” Baekhyun teases, snatching the drink from Chanyeol’s hand. “I can do without dragging your ass back to the apartment.” For a second, he's about to just raise the glass to take a sip, but he stops himself just before his lips hit the rim. Hoping to convey the message, he blinks up between the drink and Chanyeol, silently asking permission. Chanyeol nods and Baekhyun finally lets himself try some of the drink.
“Rum?” Baekhyun has his nose scrunched up in distaste. “Really?”
Chanyeol only laughs, grabbing it back. “More for me then.”
They continue to circulate through the venue, chatting up another couple of distantly acquaintanced people, but it’s whenever Chanyeol excuses himself to the bathroom that Baekhyun’s friends finally appear.
“So he’s not a serial killer,” Jongdae comes up to greet Baekhyun whenever Chanyeol has just left his side. He slides up silently, in a way that makes Baekhyun jump whenever he manages to sling an arm around Baekhyun’s shoulders. Baekhyun tries his best to extricate himself from Jongdae’s grip but to no avail.
“Or some country hick,” Lu Han quickly flanks Baekhyun’s other side and the combination of the two of them effectively traps Baekhyun in a less than comfortable position. “I feel like that’s a feat in itself.”
Baekhyun grumbles, “I swear, you two sound like Kyungsoo.”
Lu Han just snorts, “I mean what were we to expect when you invited a virtual stranger to accompany you for your reunion.”
“What kind of people do you guys think I know?” Baekhyun hisses, swinging his arm to at least try to wedge some space between him and Lu Han’s space heater like body temperature. He feels warm enough under his buttoned down shirt and with the alcohol coursing through his veins.
But of course once he happens to get Lu Han manageable distance away, Jongdae presses in closer to say, “I don't know. But at the very least, some kinda creep who has nothing to do but attend the class reunions of some virtual stranger. It really goes hand in hand.”
“We’re not strangers,” Baekhyun protests, elbowing Jongdae in the gut for saying that and then Lu Han just good measure. It’s not particularly hard, but the two of them whine in pain anyways. “We were best friends back in high school.”
The two of them just hum. Something with the way they raise the key at the end show how they're not exactly convinced. “Hey,” Baekhyun shoves Jongdae again who mutters a complaint about always bearing the brunt of the abuse. Baekhyun just rolls his eyes. “You were the one who was so into convincing me to bring a date. You don't get to be picky over who I bring.”
Even though he’s not directly addressing Lu Han -- in fact he’s doing just the opposite, the guy feels the need to express his opinion anyways. “I mean we figured you had other friends. You know, a bigger social group then just us? You could’ve brought like Kyungsoo, but to think you had to go all the way back to your high school…”
Baekhyun’s just about to say how Kyungsoo would rather bash his head repeatedly over Baekhyun’s pretty marble countertops then be forced to socialize with a bunch of older strangers and that Kyungsoo himself had expressed this sentiment multiple times, but then Jongdae cuts in.
“I think you did good. Your date -- Chanyeol was it? He’s pretty attractive, you know,” Jongdae says matter-of-factly as if Baekhyun doesn't know that Chanyeol’s attractive. As if he doesn't notice how the neon lights of the club reflect prettily against his hair, how it manages to sculpt his face in quite possibly the most attractive way possible. Baekhyun’s not blind enough as to miss the way that everyone he talks to seems to be mesmerized with the cut of Chanyeol’s jaw. “Maybe when you're done with your rent-a-date, you’ll get me a turn.”
It’s not that Baekhyun’s a short tempered guy, not like he’s the type to let a single sentence get under his skin, not that he can really be that kind of person and still be friends with Jongdae and Lu Han, but something about the statement has Baekhyun shrugging the two off. It’s an odd sort of possessiveness, the kind not unlike a child’s attachment to their favorite toy or perhaps a snack they’re reluctant to share, but Baekhyun can feel the bitterness settling into his stomach. “Stay away from him,” He means to joke, but it doesn't come off nearly that friendly.
Sensing the tension, Lu Han reaches over to put a hand on Jongdae, “It’s not like he’s an escort or anything.” Then there’s a pause, a curious sort of expression that passes through Lu Han’s features. “... right?”
Baekhyun scoffs. “No. But with that, I’m going to go find him. Can't risk having my date getting jumped by a bunch of those old sororities girls.”
The venue isn't exactly big, but with this many people packed into the room, it is a little difficult to find Chanyeol. It seems like he’s walked through the entire perimeters twice and he still can't see Chanyeol’s head poke up from the rest of the bystanders. He’s on his way to make yet another lap when someone taps him on his shoulder. “Chany--” He starts, sighing a breath of relief, but as he turns back, it’s clear to see that it’s not. Rather, it’s the last person he’d really wanted to see on the planet.
“Hey, Baekhyun,” Junmyeon greets with a sickly sweet smile, “You look all alone. I figured you could use some company.”
As if he’d ever willingly spend time with the man. He holds his tongue, doesn't let his boiling blood start up a scene. “I’m quite alright, Junmyeon,” Baekhyun responds back with a saccharine smile but a tongue that bitterly curls over the name. “Now if you’d excuse me, I’m actually looking for someone.”
He’s starting to walk off, but Junmyeon hooks him by the arm and pulls him back in. “Oh, did you bring a date?” Junmyeon asks with a glint in his eye, “So much has happened, it seems. We really must catch up.”
“I really must be going.” Baekhyun’s response is curt, punctuated as he rips his arm out from the other’s grip.
“Are you still working at that dead-end job? At that amateur company too, right?” Junmyeon asks suddenly and it has Baekhyun stopping in his track. Realizing that he must’ve struck a nerve, Junmyeon just rattles on, “I thought you hated finance. Didn’t you only choose the major for the salary? Something about saving as much money before 30 and then turning freelance so you could travel and pursue your own passion? Singing, was it? How's that working out for you?”
“It’s alright,” He brushes off. Desperate for just another topic, Baekhyun swallows, tries his best not to show that he’s all that bothered by Junmyeon. “What about you, Junmyeon? What's been up with you?”
“Oh I’m good. Dating a new guy now -- smart, from one of the top universities in China. My work’s been pretty steady. I’m due for a pay raise too. There’s been talk of the Seoul Financial buying out my old company too, so I’m going to get a good chunk of money from that too. I’ve been thinking of taking that trip to the Maldives. You know, the one we always talked about back in college. Maybe go sightseeing in Europe. Money’s really no problem. What do you think is best?”
Baekhyun says with as much forced sincerity as he can, “I don’t know it’s your life.”
“You’re right. In fact...” Junmyeon flashes a smirk, pearly white teeth bared in the front of a smile. “It’s almost like I’m living your dream for you, don’t you think?” There's a certain look in his eyes, in the way his eyebrow’s arched, taunting Baekhyun. “It's a shame, it could've been all yours too.”
It’s honestly ridiculous how little Junmyeon even needs to provoke before he sets Baekhyun off. It’s a talent how easily he can push all of Baekhyun’s buttons. “Don't make me laugh,” Baekhyun manages to spit out in some moment of courage. “I’m not a child anymore. I’m not stupid enough to chase that sort of stuff.” It’s not even a good retort, not something Baekhyun would ever say if he had literally anything else to say, but it’s apparently enough to get under Junmyeon’s skin.
“So you’re saying you’re above this. That you’ve finally managed to convince yourself that you’re satisfied with what you’ve got?” Junmyeon clicks his tongue, eyes squinted and tongue sucking at his teeth in a way that Baekhyun’s long learned to be his telling sign of displeasure. “Don’t make me laugh.”
Baekhyun shrugs with feigned nonchalance. “Maybe I’ve changed.”
That’s the final straw apparently and Junmyeon’s suddenly grabbing Baekhyun by the shirt, dragging him in closer with so much more force than Baekhyun would expect his small frame capable of, and Baekhyun really doesn't know what to expect -- Junmyeon’s far too mature for physical violence -- but he flinches away whenever the other reaches for him anyways. “I know you. I know exactly what you are,” Junmyeon says with their faces just mere centimeters apart. He can feel Junmyeon’s breath of his face and he squirms in Junmyeon’s grasp. “Stop acting so high and damn mighty. You can't possibly think that a pathetic washed up bastard like you could actually become something else.”
A pause, a sort of minute of forced reboot as Junmyeon recollects himself, drains out the disgusting look of outrage from his face to replace it with calmer eyes, a forced smile. “What are you so afraid of,” Junmyeon asks, a sly glimmer in his eye. He’s brushing something off Baekhyun’s face, skimming his finger right over his cheekbone. “You're shaking like a leaf.”
Which he is actually. He’s physically shaking, but it’s not fear, not any sort of derivative of trepidation either. It's from anger, the way his blood boils, and Baekhyun quite honestly wants to punch Junmyeon in the face. The idea is racing through his mind far more times than he’d like to admit. “Don't touch me,” Baekhyun growls through gritted teeth.
“What’s wrong Baekhyun?” Junmyeon’s face is contorting in a look of false concern. “Are you feeling alright?” Purposefully, he presses his touch into Baekhyun’s arm, puts enough pressure that Baekhyun think it might bruise.
“Don't touch me,” Baekhyun repeats.
“We used to be so close,” Junmyeon says, shaking his hand, and there's the thought again. The thought of just shoving his hand into the pretty little curvature of his face, watching the skin purple under the pressure. Junmyeon leans in close, uncomfortably close, “Don’t forget that.”
And it's just when Baekhyun’s starting to curl his fists in anger that something jerks him back by the elbow. It takes a couple seconds to process, but there’s an arm looping around his shoulders, pulling him up to a chest. With the scent that overpowers his senses, it’s not hard to tell that it's Chanyeol and it’s not hard to tell what he’s trying to do, so Baekhyun lets himself press closer. His heart is pounding and the touch is something addicting, but for once in his life, he lets his arms curl possessively around Chanyeol’s waist.
“Baek, it’s our song,” Chanyeol gleefully says, already starting to shift side to side with the beat of the music. “You owe me a dance.”
Baekhyun's speechless really, just looks up at Chanyeol flabbergasted because words aren't coming to him. His gaze sort of drifts to Junmyeon to see his mouth flapping open and close. He looks guilty, obviously surprised by Chanyeol’s presence.
Turning to Junmyeon now, Chanyeol plasters on a wide smile with full teeth and everything. “Would you excuse us? I need to borrow him for a little bit.”
“Y-yeah,” Junmyeon says and it’s kinda funny how pathetic he looks all small under Chanyeol’s gaze. “Go ahead.”
“Great,” Chanyeol smiles before pulling Baekhyun away from Junmyeon into the group of people who have started to congregate in the middle of the floor to dance. He doesn't stop walking until Junmyeon is completely lost in the crowd.
It’s a slow song that Chanyeol had chosen as “their song”. It’s one of those romantic crooning ballads, and Chanyeol’s just slipping his arms around Baekhyun’s waist loosely. Baekhyun’s looping his own around Chanyeol’s neck with a little more hesitancy, but they just sort of sway to the beat of the song. Nothing’s said, nothing’s done. They coordinate their feet without words.
Somewhere near the end of the song, right when the singer is straining her voice to hit the notes in a seemingly never ending note, Chanyeol’s leaning in. It's without any preamble, any sort of warning, and for a split second Baekhyun thinks that he’s about to kiss him and his heart stops. He’s wrong though, and Chanyeol just comes in a little bit closer to whisper into his ear. “Let's get out of here.”
And he doesn't really have to wait for an answer, nothing verbal at least. Baekhyun just gives the smallest of nods, a subconscious decision really, and they’re suddenly making a beeline to the door. He doesn't even have time to think because Chanyeol’s already disappearing into the venue’s closet digging up their coats before taking his arm and leading him out.
Baekhyun gets cold feet as soon as they get out. “This is a bad idea. I should go back in,” He says immediately once they step foot outside the building. The air is crisp, the humidity a bit stifling; Baekhyun snaps back into reality. “This seems a bit rude, to leave without saying goodbye.”
That's not enough of an argument for Chanyeol as he doesn't stop to turn back. They continue to trudge along the length of the sidewalk. “Who cares,” Chanyeol shrugs, “You weren't having that much fun there anyways.” Which isn't wrong. Baekhyun shuts his mouth.
“Where are we going?” Baekhyun asks after about a minute of silence. He feels a little stupid getting dragged by the arm through the city that he's supposed to be showing off to Chanyeol, but Chanyeol weaves them through the streets with something of practiced ease. He turns to face Baekhyun only after they’ve hit the corner of the street.
“You get two choices.” Chanyeol says casually. He’s stopped although his eyes are darting from place to place. “Either a restaurant or karaoke. The decision is yours.”
And as great as getting some greasy ramen at the nearest convenience store sounds, there’s something that's just so oddly reminiscent in the idea of going to a karaoke. That’s all they used to do back then. When there was nowhere in town to go, no place that wouldn't know your name, singing was always a good way to decompress. The decisions not really a hard one to make.
Only five minutes later and only two blocks down from where they originally were, there’s a local karaoke place and
Chanyeol sets down enough money to pay for two hours and then some for the drinks he's about to swipe. They're being led into the back room of the place, furthest away from the poor cashier. It’s probably for the best -- Baekhyun only really knows how to sing unbearably loud.
“What should we start with?” Baekhyun asks as soon as the lady shuts the door behind them. The place is dimly lit, the seat cushions ripped up in some places, but he feels at home as he settles into the dark.
“This.” Chanyeol says and at first, Baekhyun's a bit confused considering the songbook is still next to him and they've yet to still locate the karaoke TV’s remote, but it suddenly makes sense when he sees Chanyeol pouring his newly bought soju into cute little shot glasses. He pushes one over to Baekhyun.
Baekhyun picks it up, marveling at how close Chanyeol filled up the glass without it actually pouring over the edge. As he starts to turn the glass, some of it sloshes onto his hand. “She gave you little glasses too?”
Chanyeol only snorts, raises his glass up in a toast. “To dinky little karaoke places with a nice taste in glassware.”
Baekhyun laughs, “I’ll drink to that.”
It's awfully liberating to sing at the top of your lungs. To just strain for those high notes and add in a stupid little dance wherever you wish. It’s been so long since Baekhyun had last done this. And honestly, he doubted it would ever be the same now that he's older and is expected to be mature, but maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it’s Chanyeol, but Baekhyun’s having a grand old time singing along to old anime theme songs.
It’s whenever Baekhyun is starting to run out of breath that Chanyeol starts to talk.
“Sorry your reunion sucked.” Chanyeol says suddenly. He does it without looking up from the book of songs, still dutifully searching for the Girl’s Generation song that Baekhyun had requested a while back.
“It wasn't bad,” Baekhyun shrugs, because it wasn't. He had fun, for the most part, enjoyed meeting up with his old friend as well as the free drinks. “There's just always bound to be drama, you know? It’s probably more interesting because it wasn't perfect.”
A pause. The sounds of overtly comical sound effects as Chanyeol stabs in the numbers for the song. “Still, I shouldn't have left you alone.”
“Hey!” Baekhyun punctuates the word with a playful slap in the arm that has Chanyeol rubbing the spot in feigned pain anyways. “I can handle myself.”
“I'm not saying you can’t. Just--”
“It’s fine,” Baekhyun ups his volume just enough to speak over Chanyeol. The words echo in the karaoke room, clashes with the sound of Taeyeon’s sweet voice that's starting to filter through the speakers. Chanyeol had found the songs, Baekhyun duly notes and he grabs the microphone next to him. “Now don't distract me during my best song.”
He doesn't. In fact, he joins in after the first chorus even though he’s obviously not familiar with the tune. His voice has the wrong intonation, the lyrics falling off his tongue just a moment offbeat, sometimes too slow, sometimes too fast. Baekhyun speaks up whenever they've hit the dance break. “You're nice for worrying -- even if there is no reason to think it's your fault,” Baekhyun muses, setting down the mic for a break. “You're a nice guy.”
It takes a while for Chanyeol to let the words sink in but the songs keep going. There’s only 3 beats left until Tiffany starts her line. “Because that’s what a guy likes to hear. That he’s nice.” Chanyeol throws back although the words are playful, joking.
But Baekhyun doesn't take it quite as a joke. The prechorus is already starting up again, but if Chanyeol’s fishing for a compliment, then there are a thousand things that Baekhyun can say. He doesn't know if it's the alcohol but Chanyeol looks awfully handsome in the way the flashing bubble pink lights from the machine hit him, his eyes a bit bleary now and his hair mussed from where he’s been slumped back in the booth’s couch. Baekhyun’s speaking before he can even think about what he’s saying. “You know, practically everyone was looking at you during the reunion.”
“What was there something on my face?” Chanyeol snorts, running his hand through his hair as if he knows Baekhyun’s looking. “Are you only going to tell me now after I've thoroughly embarrassed myself?”
Another joke. Yet Baekhyun’s still not quite in the joking mood. “Nice, funny, good looking. Why aren't you married?” Baekhyun says, subconsciously reaching out to touch Chanyeol’s face. The skin is soft and warm under his fingertips; he runs his fingers over again for good measure. “I’d figure all the town’s girls would be all over you.”
Baekhyun’s mind is swimming in thoughts, relentless words that threaten to spill from his tongue, and perhaps his perception of events isn't really the most reliable as of right now, but Chanyeol’s looking at him with the most serious expression he’s ever seen. His eyes bore straight into Baekhyun’s and they stay like that for why seems like an eternity.
And just like that, the moment’s gone. The song’s over. Chanyeol breaks the gaze. “It’s just hasn't been the right time. Never the right person.”
Baekhyun frowns, taps Chanyeol’s cheek twice as if to break the spell. “You got high standards or something? Not that I’m saying that you can't keep them.”
Chanyeol turning his head away now, staring at the screen of the karaoke. Baekhyun lowers his hand, retreats it back into his lap. “Not necessarily high,” Chanyeol answers as he starts to punch in the numbers for the song he wants. “Just specific.”
Right before Baekhyun can get a chance to speak, the opening of one of 2NE1’s songs starts, marking the end of their conversation. Chanyeol’s wordlessly picks up Baekhyun’s mic from where he had left it down on the table and hands it to him with yet another shot of soju.
He pounds the drink back just in time for the opening line.
At one point, he thinks he passes out, because there’s already an inevitable gap between the beginning of yet another 2NE1 song and when he had woken up to the end of that song by that one hip-hop group that Baekhyun knows Chanyeol likes. He’s never been able to remember the exact name. There’s only about two seconds of chastising clarity before Baekhyun settles back into drowning in his mind.
The night from then on is a bit of a blur. At some point Baekhyun recalls getting into a taxi but he doesn't quite remember how long they were driving for before getting kicked out after drunkenly admitting that he thinks (keyword thinks) that he had left his wallet in the karaoke place.
The walk, although not more than a good couple blocks away from Baekhyun’s apartment, had felt like it was miles long, but at least the cold slap of the night’s wind had helped to sober them up. By the times they're about two blocks away, Baekhyun has already regained most of his cognition. “I’m going to regret this in the morning.” Baekhyun exclaims to break up the silence. He’s never been one to fare well without talking.
“Some nights are just like this,” Chanyeol shrugs and he makes a point of kicking one of the pebbles on the ground. It skids forward before ricocheting against the side of a bike rack. Chanyeol teeters as he tries not to lose his balance. “You can't do anything but just drink your problems away. You just gotta take it in stride.”
A chuckle rises quickly up Baekhyun’s threat. “You sound like an alcoholic.”
Chanyeol laughs, unoffended. “I guess so.”
And then there's a moment of silence. They're passing through a slightly more populated area and amongst the quiet conversation of strangers, Chanyeol starts. “Who was that guy? The one you were talking to. The douche.”
“My ex,” Baekhyun answers with a grimace. There’s no point in beating around the bush.
There's a pause on Chanyeol's side, a sort of prolonged silence that has him stopping in his tracks to spare a glance at Baekhyun. He can feel Chanyeol’s heavy gaze on him and he has to summon up the courage to look back. A drunk Chanyeol is far more in tune with his feelings yet Baekhyun’s still surprised to him just watching, mouth a little agape. Baekhyun makes a mental note not to ever mention anything about his past relationships again. Perhaps he’s still a little uncomfortable with the subject.
“Was it a bad breakup?” comes Chanyeol’s quiet inquiry. He’s barely above a whisper and it’s hard to hear him over the sound of the streets.
Baekhyun just looks up and pulls his arms behind his head to stretch. “Honestly,” He starts up slowly, “It wasn't too bad. Not that big of a deal. We remained friends and everything even after we had split.”
Baekhyun peeps over to where Chanyeol is to see him walking back up to Baekhyun. They’re back to walking next to each other. “I don't know… You just looked so uncomfortable with him. Maybe it was wrong of me to intrude.”
“Don't worry, you read the room right. He bothers me. It’s just back then. He supported me with everything, was one of the few friends I had that was going down the same business major track as me, so I was kinda afraid to lose him honestly.”
“What happened then?” Chanyeol asks. “Something must’ve happened, right?”
“He started his own startup. Some kind of algorithmic approach to financing and he hit it big. Everyone wanted in.” Baekhyun shrugs. All those late night conversations with Junmyeon about it, all the events he had gone out to to support it and he still can’t remember the details. “And I supported him, was happy that he managed to make it that far, and then he turned around and dragged my reputation through the mud. Badmouthed me to all the big firms, ruined my chances of ever getting in with any halfway decent job.”
“That's terrible,” Chanyeol says although he seems to say it only because he doesn't know what else to say.
“It’s not like he told me at first. Just lent his shoulder for me to cry on when I was freaking out over the fact that I couldn’t find a place to work. Right at graduation, he offered me a job though. As his assistant with a pretty hefty salary. As a friend, he’d said, but as soon as I stepped into that office, everything changed. I just remember the absolutely smug look on his face as he sat up at high in his chair and just looked down at me. Part of the interview was to sit on the floor and roll over -- it was humiliating honestly.”
Another moment of silence. Chanyeol’s at a loss for words. “Well… Did you do it?”
“I did.” Baekhyun hums, stares at the ground below them or the sky above because he’s not quite sure where to look. Chanyeol’s gaze bores holes into him. “Swallowed my pride and stuck with it for a year. A whole year spent fetching him coffee and massaging his feet, I can honestly say that was my lowest point.”
There’s an intake of breath from Chanyeol -- a little dramatic, but Baekhyun doesn’t comment on it. Instead, Chanyeol asks, “But you're not with him now, right?”
Baekhyun furrows his eyebrows first, thinking that Chanyeol’s asking whether he and Junmyeon are still together. If they’re still dating, and he wonders in what world the sheer discomfort between the two of them could even seem like they were in a romantic relationship. It takes him a little while to realize that he’s still asking about the job, asking about if he still works for Junmyeon. Baekhyun feels like an idiot. “No. I couldn't handle it after a while when the whole office started to go out of their way to make my life miserable. As soon as I prepared my resignation letter, though, Junmyeon fired me for something trivial. I was unemployed for a couple months after, had to go around and do some odd jobs with my degree just hanging back at my house, mocking me -- maybe that was actually my lowest point -- but then Jongdae hooked me up with some business related startup. It was still young, had a limited market, small payroll, but they were desperate for people like me. And I suppose, I was desperate for a job.”
And again, there’s silence although this one stretches a bit longer, the atmosphere just a bit more tense. There’s only the sounds of their steps in time with each other’s. Chanyeol’s stride is a bit wider than Baekhyun's but he slows every now and then to let Baekhyun catch up. “That guy’s an asshole.” Chanyeol states simply and at that Baekhyun has to laugh.
He takes a deep breath and exhales it out slowly. He can feel the way the anger seeps out of his bones, dissipating out in the night sky. “I’m really just angry because it’s not as uncommon as you'd think. This happens to everyone here. You can't tell who’s who around here and quite honestly, that sucks. One moment they're laughing over drinks with you, the next they stab you in the back.” Baekhyun grimaces. “It’s suffocating and I don't know, seeing Junmyeon always makes it worse. He knows quite a lot about me. Back from college, all about my growing pains and, I don't know, he knows what I want. Perhaps more than I do.”
“But you're a changed person. Surely, you don't have the same kind of priorities.”
And Baekhyun wonders if Chanyeol was there to see that much of his interaction with Junmyeon because that sounds awfully like what Baekhyun had said himself. Contrary to his previous assertion, though, he just shakes his head. “People don't change that much. Sometimes I feel like even decades upon decades could never change who I really am. He knows how much I hate this city. How I hate it here, and he just reminds me that I’m still here.”
An uncomfortable subject, not anything that Chanyeol can relate to, can advise on. Chanyeol’s response involves a return back to common ground. “It’s different back home, huh? From back then?” Back when fights were solved with swinging a few punches and the biggest offense was someone else telling your crush that you liked them. He’s right, things were simpler back then.
“Yeah you could say that. Sometimes I forget how much I miss home.” Baekhyun admits easily, far more easily than he’d ever thought it’d be. He never thought he’d say this honestly. “I always wanted something bigger and better back then. Stupidly, almost. I was so obsessed with the idea that I convinced myself that I hated it there, that I couldn't stand the thought of spending one extra second back home. And yet, here I am, just as unhappy, just as unsatisfied.”
He makes the mistake of glancing over at Chanyeol, of locking their eyes together in a meaningful look. Chanyeol doesn’t look away. “You can still come home.”
“If I go, then I don't think I'd ever come back.”
A pause. A beat of silence. “Is that such a bad thing?”
The atmosphere is heavy with unspoken words and Baekhyun’s sure that there's something more that Chanyeol’s trying to say, but the night is nice. The stars are out for once despite the smog and city lights and Baekhyun can't explain how much he had missed them.
“Hey Baekhyun,” Chanyeol asks right as they’re about to enter the Baekhyun’s building. “Are you happy?”
It’s a hard question, a loaded one at that, and Baekhyun can't help but think about the first time Chanyeol had asked the question. It’d been a good number of years back, the night after their graduation, but Baekhyun still remembers the way the moonlight had carved out Chanyeol’s features that night, his eyes dark and unreadable. They were the only two still awake at that time, the rest of them were in various states of unconscious. Baekhyun remembers having to weave through them, to step over the maze of limbs and empty cans of beer in order to take a seat next to Chanyeol. They’d sat with about an inch apart. Baekhyun remembers the night chill that had seeped through the sliding door they were sitting up against and the warmth that practically radiated off Chanyeol; he’d thought he’d go crazy.
Chanyeol’s question had come after a bit of comfortable silence, and it’d be a bit of a non sequitur. A question that really comes out of nowhere. Baekhyun, at least back then, had been filled with excitement, overzealous at the prospect of moving onto something new. Something better. “No,” He’d answered honestly back then and his response had been met with Chanyeol’s own look of surprise. He’d been sure to finish his thought, “But I know I’ll find it soon.”
It’s with the same sort of deliberation that Baekhyun comes up with his answer. “No,” He starts it slowly and glances over at Chanyeol, watches the way that the moonlight dances on Chanyeol’s skin, how his shirt hangs off him fitted, sticking against the planes of his chest in a way that keeps Baekhyun from looking away. His hair is a mess, his lips a little wet from how he keeps licking them, and his eyes are still a bit hazy. But there’s still something so unreal about the image and Baekhyun has a half a mind to snap a picture of what he looks like right now. For now he stores it in his own mental memory, tucked away safely next to the images of Chanyeols from the past. The sleeping faces, the ones full of anticipation whenever he’d have to wait for Baekhyun to come out and play. This is an addition the his collection: transient Chanyeol, ephemeral Chanyeol. Baekhyun can’t help but smile in a way that he hopes Chanyeol’s doesn't comment on. “But you know, tonight? I think it’s closer than it’s ever been.”
They managed to make it up many flights of stairs in one piece even though Baekhyun’s legs are dead tired and he feels close to collapsing. “I’m going to shower,” Chanyeol says as soon as they make it through the doorway. It’s obvious how uncomfortable he feels all sticky from the city’s humidity.
Baekhyun feels just as disgusting, so he unearths the extra key sitting underneath Kyungsoo’s apartment next door and let's himself in. The whole place is pitch black with the exception of the movie that’s softly playing in the background. What Baekhyun supposes is Kyungsoo’s figure peers over the couch to look over at the now open door, and Baekhyun wordlessly points to himself and then the general direction of the bathroom. He leads himself in as soon as Kyungsoo gives him a permissive nod.
Baekhyun’s never been one for a long shower so as soon as he strips out of his clothes, he’s quick to wash off the filth that lies atop his skin and then he’s out. He’s walking back through the apartment with just a towel wrapped around his waist. Kyungsoo’s used to it, weirdly enough, but he has a visitor over. One that Baekhyun can't help but peer in to look at as he passes the couch yet again. With just the light of the TV, Baekhyun can barely see specific features, but he can see the way that he moves in his sleep, how he seems just moments away from awakening -- although Kyungsoo seems insistent on cooing him back to sleep.
“Don't be too loud,” Kyungsoo says quietly right before Baekhyun leaves. “And return that towel to me folded and pressed tomorrow.”
Baekhyun just laughs and tells him not to worry.
Even with the time it had taken Baekhyun to walk on over to Kyungsoo’s and shower, he still ends up fully dressed and in bed long before Chanyeol comes out. He takes the time to just lie there and check his phone for messages. There’s a couple from Jongdae, asking where he went, as well as picture of a definitely inebriated Jongdae and Minseok from Lu Han. He sends the same emoji back to both of them.
By the time Chanyeol finally comes out, Baekhyun doesn't greet him. Chanyeol just sits down on the side of bed, lets the mattress dip under his weight. It’s weird because this was all so nonchalant yesterday. Something not out of the usual when Baekhyun had offered the empty space on his bed for Chanyeol to sleep in in lieu of the old couch springs. Now Baekhyun feels antsy, feels hyper aware of Chanyeol’s presence and perhaps he truly has just shot himself in the foot. He never would've invited back Chanyeol if he knew he’d have to subject himself to the same pounding heart, the same sort of clammy palms and fidgety movements from back in high school. This sucks honestly.
“Do you want me to turn off the lamp?” Chanyeol says as he starts to wiggle himself under the covers.
Baekhyun just sort of mumbles out an affirmation but it doesn't make much of a difference. With the window curtains still drawn back, the moonlight shines in, dimly illuminating the room. He’s falling asleep anyways, lulled to bed listening to Chanyeol’s soft inhales and exhales, when Chanyeol suddenly speaks.
“I knew you liked me,” He says out of nowhere, his words echoing in the emptiness of the room. “Back in high school, I did get your letter about meeting you in the courtyard after graduation.”
From back when Baekhyun had been just courageous enough to leave a letter in Chanyeol’s locker, an invitation to the courtyard where Baekhyun had planned to confess. Chanyeol never came; he never explained why either. It’s been a question that been haunting Baekhyun for years. One that just sort of plagues his mind every now and then. All this time, he’d thought that he’d put it in the wrong locker or perhaps it’d been intercepted before Chanyeol could get his hands on it. It’d always been some scenario where the message was never received but this. This is worse.
“I’d always assumed you didn't.” Baekhyun admits, speaks despite the lump forming in his throat. “You never acted any different after that day.”
“Give me some credit,” Chanyeol jokes, “I’m a better actor than that.”
“I mean why'd you have to act? Were you that…” disgusted? Offended? Revolted? Baekhyun’s mind easily fills the rest of the sentence but his tongue chokes on the words. Instead, he brings up another question: “Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come?”
Retrospectively speaking, there’s probably about a thousand different reasons that could be why he didn't come, but the answer Chanyeol gives is one that Baekhyun never really thought of.
“Because you were going to leave. And there was no way for me to stop you.” Chanyeol admits with an exhale and although Baekhyun's back is faced toward Chanyeol, his face hidden and eye clamped closed, he can feel the way Chanyeol’s turning in the bed.
“Oh,” Baekhyun says. Chanyeol's not wrong. In fact, he’s quite honestly right on the dot what with the way Baekhyun used to be so stubborn -- although he's still just had hard headed these days too. He’d only planned to confess out of convenience, to put an end to the feelings he’d been harboring for way too long, the feelings that still haunt him until today. Perhaps Chanyeol had meant to give the same kind of conclusion tonight, been merciful enough to finally let Baekhyun off the unintentionally crafted hook. “Okay.” Baekhyun says and that’s it. And quite honestly, that could very well be the end of the conversation, the end of their interactions for another nine years or so.
“But I liked you back then.” Chanyeol admits quickly and something about the urgency of his words have Baekhyun turning around to look at him. He’s staring straight at Baekhyun, eyes locked with his. “And in all honestly, I think I still do like you. Through all these years, I kinda just held onto it, hoping you'd come back and I don't know, this seemed like as good enough a chance as any.” A pause. Chanyeol laughs dry and mirthless “Isn't that sad? Coming all the way out here to chase a man.”
There’s a lot of thoughts floating in his mind right now. Something akin to hope bubbling at the back of his throats and he’s giddy. Stupidly so. But he can't bring himself to saying anything more disclosing than “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because you told me something personal, now it's my turn to do the same.” Chanyeol replies all nonchalant as if he didn't just confess his feelings to the guy he's known for years. It’s admirable, really, makes Baekhyun wonder why he could never do it in the years before. “It’s a shame I don't have any less embarrassing secrets to tell.”
And there's a beat. A moment where Baekhyun’s mouth tastes like cotton but his breathing is picking up -- it probably sounds obnoxious in the stillness of the air. He wants to say something, anything; he wants to round up the courage to just fuck it and confess because there's never been a better time than now. There will never be a better time than now. But he’s taking too long. Chanyeol flashes a smile at Baekhyun before rolling the other way. His back faces Baekhyun now. Baekhyun does the same.
And here is another possible end for their night. A likely one too, because Baekhyun is scared. He’s so damn cowardly, and he doesn't know how he was going to do this right after graduation. Perhaps he was braver then.
Times passes painstakingly slowly, the ticks of Baekhyun’s clock marking out the time wasted, the seconds left in silence. Chanyeol’s leaving in just 7 hours.
“Can I be selfish?” Baekhyun whispers out hastily because he’s wide awake and he knows Chanyeol is the same.
“It isn’t enough to go and ask me to take a train all the way out to Seoul just to use me for a date?” comes Chanyeol’s slurred reply. He’s tired, but Baekhyun can still pick up on the monotonously executed humour. Baekhyun’s in no mood to entertain the joke.
“This is different. This is worse.”
Baekhyun can feel the way Chanyeol is sitting up now, pulling his knees in towards him as he rest against the headboard. The movement is obvious from the shift in the mattress, the quiet squeal of weary springs as he gets up. “What is it?” He asks just as quiet and there’s a sense of concern in his voice. Chanyeol’s always been the type to think the worst, but Baekhyun doesn't think that even his imagination can even begin to fathom what Baekhyun is going to ask.
It takes a second to get it out. Takes a moment to gather the courage to even open his mouth but he takes a breath, tries his hand at stilling his racing heartbeat. “I want to kiss you.”
And then there’s a pause, a moment of complete vulnerability. Baekhyun wishes he could melt into the floor right about now.
“Then do it,” Chanyeol replies and it’s quiet. It’s obviously not backed by the strongest sense of assurance, but it’s enough to get Baekhyun’s heart to skip a beat. He’s turning around now, scrambling to get up and swing a leg over Chanyeol’s thighs. Seated quite comfortably in Chanyeol’s lap, he reaches over to turn on the lamp.
“You move fast,” Chanyeol says point blank and in any other situation, it’d be a joke. Baekhyun would be laughing good heartedly alongside Chanyeol and whatever tension that had mounted between them would just disappear. It’s not like that this time. It’s nothing like that with the way Chanyeol stares straight into Baekhyun’s eyes. His gaze is set; there’s not an ounce of uncertainty in his eyes.
“I’m really going to do it,” Baekhyun says although he’s losing his resolve. There’s a certain fear that’s beginning to cloud his mind, but in Chanyeol’s gaze is a challenge. A clear and present sense of provocation. Baekhyun surges forward.
And it’s nothing magical. There’s no sudden explosion of fireworks, no shooting stars or other movie cliches. Baekhyun’s chest hurts again, his heart pound fast fast faster than it’s ever gone before and he can't think of anything besides the fact that Chanyeol’s lips feel good. Their eyes are open. Their minds are clear. Baekhyun pulls back.
A part of his supposes that he should stop here, that he’s already put Chanyeol in an awkward position, already strangled out a kiss from him, but another part of him is greedy. Gaining momentum, there’s something just pushing him forward faster than he’d ever anticipated. He’s smashing their lips together, surging forward so violently that he pins Chanyeol into the headboard, pressing up in a way that every inch of him can feel Chanyeol. Before he can even process what he's doing, before he can reel himself back in and maybe try his hand at apologizing, piecing back their quickly crumbling semblance of friendship, his tongue roots against the seams of Chanyeol’s lips and at first there’s resistance. But it dissolves away as Chanyeol lets Baekhyun in, lets him lick into the warmth of his mouth. Chanyeol kisses back. He presses his tongue against Baekhyun’s. Electricity surges down his spine.
It’s rushed, the way their lips slant together.
Honestly, he doesn't mean to. He doesn't mean to take it further -- didn't, actually, intend for it to go this far -- but there’s a line that he doesn't mean to cross when Chanyeol runs the edge of his teeth along Baekhyun’s bottom lip and Baekhyun lets out a moan.
And he doesn't even know if it was intentional. If he had done that to maybe egg Chanyeol on or maybe if it’d just come out tumbling from behind his lips, but what he does know is that Chanyeol freezes beneath him. For a second, his lips still and his eyes flutter open. Their eyes meet and for a split second, it's fear that’s running down Baekhyun’s spine. He expects rejection, disgust, and braces himself for the worst.
It catches him by surprise as Chanyeol’s hands wrap around his waist. He leans back against the touch.
“So what now?” Baekhyun whispers into the open air.
And Chanyeol doesn't have an answer, doesn't know what really there is to say. He just tilts himself closer, touches his forehead to Baekhyun, and smiles. “I don't know, Baekhyun. But I’d like to figure it out.”
►►►
“I never expected this,” Jongdae whistles as he taps his fingers on the glass of the dessert display case. “I’m honestly not quite sure how to feel.”
“It's awfully domestic,” Lu Han observes, staring at all of the picture frames that lines the walls. They’d only recently gotten into hanging them up and at this angle, Baekhyun can clearly see how some of the pictures seem to be just slightly askew. He’ll have to remember to fix that later.
“I think it’s cute,” Baekhyun sniffs and shuffling around Lu Han and Jongdae to settle behind the counter, picking up the sky blue apron from underneath the cash register. After pulling it over his head, he loops it around his waist, wrapping it around from back to front and tying a little knot in the front. Chanyeol’s still hard at work in the kitchen, that much Baekhyun can hear from the occasional clatter of metal against metal, the hum of the electric mixer in the back. “It brings back a lot of old memories, you know.”
It’s only been about six months since the whole college reunion event, but a lot has already changed. They had gotten together, he and Chanyeol, and after trying the whole long-distance thing for a grand total of three weeks, Baekhyun took some time off to go visit his hometown again. It’d been an experience, returning back to all that he had left behind, all that he had sworn to never go back to. Against the open air of his home though, the return back to Seoul left him suffocated, anxious for more.
The decision to move back was somewhat of a spur of the moment thing, one of those wishful phrases slurred over one of the drunk Skype dates between him and Chanyeol. It wasn’t ever meant to become anything more, but four months later, a myriad of loose ends all tied up, and a heartfelt goodbye to his company and his friends, has brought Baekhyun back home.
This is the first time his friends from the city had come to visit the Park family’s bakery that Baekhyun has started helping out with and it’s funny, really, how out of place they look amongst the paled backdrop of the town.
On the entire other side of the store, admiring the carvings on the wall that have been skritched out by the customers, Kyungsoo speaks up from where he’s seated.“I mean it’s great and all, but it’s a little far. Two hours from Seoul, don't you ever miss it?”
“Two hours isn't as long as you think,” Baekhyun just shrugs and lean onto the counter. He keeps an eye on Kyungsoo as he starts rearranging the placement of the fresh cut vase of flowers along with the rest of the condiments left on the tables.
Watching as Kyungsoo picks out the individual sugar packets and starts to organize the little container, Baekhyun doesn't even notice Jongdae as he leans over the counter to squeeze at his cheek. “He’s happy going back to becoming a little ol’ country bumpkin. Who are we to stop that?”
As if on cue, Lu Han takes one glance at Baekhyun’s stretched face and laughs one of his obnoxious laughs, the ones that have him slapping the table and fumbling back onto the back of the chair as he leans back and cackles. He even presents the rare and evasive opportunity for Baekhyun to make fun of Lu Han whenever the man starts to transition into snorts.
“I’m happy,” Baekhyun defends only after he’d successfully swats Jongdae away. “It’s small, quaint. Really makes me wonder why I ever left in the first place.” And quite honestly, that’s one of the thoughts that Baekhyun’s thinking a lot about lately.
“Well I’m glad you're back,” Chanyeol pipes into the conversation out of nowhere. In his oven glove-clad hands hands, the trays of freshly baked muffins and other sweets clatter as he clumsily rushes to set them on the counter. “He’s been helping out a lot with finances. Cutting costs and all that,” He mentions absentmindedly as he begins to transfer the baked goods into the partitioned displays. “I don't know what I'd do without him.”
Distracted with the task at hand, Chanyeol doesn't notice the way Baekhyun’s staring at him with probably the goofiest, most awestruck look imaginable, but Baekhyun doesn't mind. He’ll get enough shit about it later from his friends. “I don't know what I’d do without you.” His words come out as a whisper, sweet and soft.
It wasn't really anything he intended anyone to hear, but Chanyeol’s lifting his head, casting his attention away from organizing the display for right now to direct one of the prettiest smiles Baekhyun’s ever seen at him. He leans forward slowly to press a kiss to Baekhyun’s lips,
And almost as if in cue: “Ew, oh my god make it stop!” Jongdae screeches like a banshee and out of the corner of his eyes Baekhyun can see the way he’s covering his eyes. His reaction is like a kindergartner’s.
Lu Han, who was always the less dramatic of the two, just wrinkles his nose, looks away in disgust. “Get a room, you pervs.”
But of course that only eggs them and on and soon after they separate, Chanyeol’s going in for another one although this time his eyes slide shut. There’s a chorus of groans and displeasure with each time Chanyeol pecks another kiss, and Baekhyun just laughs, leans into it. He wraps his arms around Chanyeol’s neck and pulls him close.