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After giving up on trying to send the girl to medical, Cassian sighed and let her continue on to her new mission to find some food while he made his way to deliver his report of the mission to Mon Mothma. He knew he needed to tell the Senator about what he had seen while working with oe but he didn’t know if they would even bother to listen. The mission didn’t feel like it was over until he was done recollecting the main events of the mission and handed over the intel that they had managed to gather. Cassian knew that this mission had left him with immense guilt and even though he didn’t feel fine, he knew he would be. “Thank you, Captain Andor. Your efforts on the behalf of the rebellion will not be taken lightly. I’ve noted that you and Agent Y/N work well together which is why I’m keeping the pair of you in mind for future missions. Not everyone can work with her.” The Senator said when the meeting was drawing to a close. “She’s a bit… intense but truly one of the best in the rebellion.” He answered back, the thought alone almost made him smile. He had never known someone quite like her, especially not in the life he lead.
“Is there something else on your mind, Captain?” She asked when he hadn’t yet left. Cassian folded his hands behind his back, now was the time to tell them, the opportunity wouldn’t present itself soon enough again. “Senator, I don’t know if you know this but Agent Y/N… I fear the weight of past missions have taken a toll on her. I would suggest that she be sent for a psychological evaluation or at least for an extensive debriefing.” “I appreciate the concern, Captain, though, unfortunately, Agent Y/N doesn’t have the luxury of time.” The Senator explained gently. They knew, he could see the recognition in the Senator’s face, she knew exactly what was happening. The rebellion has done a lot of inhuman things over the years for the greater good but this was a step too far. Cassian felt the anger well up inside of him but he decided not to let it take control, as he carefully constructed a reply that wouldn’t be easily forgotten. “Senator I understand that Y/N isn’t part of my devision but I believe she has sever PTSD that if left uncheck could lead to a psychological break. Although she is genetically engineerd to be the perfect soldier for the rebellion, she is still just a girl, not a weapon, something that everybody seems to forget.” He said simply then when Mon Mothma was still thinking of an answer excused himself and left. He couldn’t convince them anymore if those words didn’t stick. He doubted they would do anything but he at least wanted them to feel the weightof their next decision if he coudn’t completely sway them.
He found the girl in the canteen, indulging the small cup of pudding that the base offered this time of day. She had discarded the ammunition packs and weapons and looked so much younger now that they weren’t plagued by the stress of survival in unknown territories. “Are you even attempting to get to the medbay?” He questioned as he stood across from her. “Not actively but your not one to talk, I’m pretty sure that cut on your forehead needs stitches and those burns are truly nasty.” She pointed out. “Fine then, let’s go together.” With a dramatically heavy sigh she stood and followed him.
“K2 is not very happy that he has to unpack the whole ship.” Cassian informed. “What? He did nothing all mission long.” She replied. “As I recall you were the one to tell him to stay on the ship and I quote, ‘We could really do without an annoying bucket that would only slow us down’. I believe you hear his feelings.” Cassian answered. “That’s ridiculous, he doesn’t have feeling he only has circuits with lots of doides capacitators, inductors, resistors and transistors.” She rambled off. “Anyway, I think it’s only fair that you apologise.” “Fine.” She grumbled as the doors to the medbay slid open to accommodate them. “Find me afterwards, I’m just going to take a quick shower.” Cassian threw her way before she was out of ear shot as the doctor lead her away. “I’m not apologising now.” She shot back with some form of unease. “No, I meant for dinner. You can’t survive on pudding.” He shot back.
She did find him afterwards but not entirely what he meant as he found her sitting on his bed giving him the fright of his life when he came out the bathroom. He gripped the towel around his waist tightly. “This is not what I meant.” He barked at her. “Why were you planning on showering some more? You did say you wanted to shower first, a task you have now completed.” She rationalised. “Just wait outside while I get dressed.” She stood, surprisingly without a protest or a witty remark and closed the door behind her as she exited his quarters.
“You could’ve dried your hair properly.” She shot at him as soon as he opened the door. “Not with you looming outside my door with no regards of privacy.” “I would have waited.” She offered. “No you wouldn’t.” He said. “Yeah no I wouldn’t have.” She agreed. They started making their way back to the Canteen again, mostly silent. He didn’t know how but somehow she had also showered in the short time after there medical exam, even though he had finished before her. He was just starting to think that maybe she had rushed so that she could startle him purposefully when K2 found them.
“K2, done are we?” “No thanks to you.” He snapped and then slightly turned to look at Y/N who was trying to avoid his gaze. “Y/N.” He greeted begrudgingly. “K2.” She said with just as much distaste. “Y/N.” Cassian said catching the girls eye and cocking his head towards the robot, she rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry I called you an annoying bucket.” She deadpanned and then after while turned to look at him. “What? I’m not apologising for calling you bad pilot, I was only speaking the truth.” The droid shot back. “K.” Cassian warned as Y/N scoffed. “As I recall you didn’t use the words 'bad’ and 'pilot’, they were far more descriptive.” She said begrudgingly. “Well what can I say, I have an affinity for language. It’s built into my circuits."
At the canteen K2SO grabbed a table for the two as they stood in line for food, trays in hand. "What did the boss say when you gave the mission report?” Y/N asked. “She seemed happy with mission’s outcome, she said they would consider us for future missions.” Cassian said as he held out his tray so that the server could scoop the food into his tray. “Together?” She asked in disbelief, Cassian nodded as she hummed in surprise. “What?” He asked. “It’s just that’s never happened before but to before I didn’t have any incidents on this mission.” She answered, as they walked back to the table, food in hand. “Incidents?” Cassian raised his eyebrows as he slid in next to K2SO and she opposite him. “I punched the last guy I had to work with in the face, the previous one I had to knock out and carry his ass all the way to ship and I’m not allowed to speak about the incident on Jakku.” She said, loading a spoonful into her mouth. “I take it you don’t get along with people easily?” K2 questioned. “What makes you think that?” She shot back, a true crafter of irony, his gaze sliding down to her food as a serious look settled onto her face. “People don’t always like the missions that the rebellion gives me, so they try to stop me. I have yet to encounter someone who succeeds.” She said, bringing perhaps the whole mood own around the table with her. “Any new missions, Captain?” She quickly changed the subject when she realised this, he was frozen for a moment, his mind still dwingling on her statement and what had been bothering him ever since he arrived. “Uh, no. I’ve been grounded until I’ve been evaluated, as after every mission.” He answered, not much was said after that.
Their interaction seemed to be drawing to a close as the lot walked back to the housing wing. Everyone in the rebellion knew that managing a social life was nearly impossible because of the amount of missions that rolled in daily. There was something in the back of Cassian’s mind that made him wonder if this would be the last time they would properly see each other, after all they lived dangerous lives that could be snuffed out at any moment but he decided to extend an invitation to her anyway. They reached the split in the hallways where they had to head in different directions to reach their beds and turned to each other. “You know, if there is anything you wanted to talk about, you know where to find me.” “After you’ve showered?” She offered with a devious smirk, he couldn’t help but chuckle, turning to leave. She grabbed his arm before he could make it far, K2 had already begun walking down the corridor. “Cassian, you have a couch right?” The smile she tried to put on faltered as her eyes connected with his. “Of course.” He answered realising what she was asking.
When they reached his room, K2SO was already in the corner on shut down.
“You should take my bed, I’ll take the couch.” He said when he closed the door behind her. “No I really don’t wnat to intrude any further.” She said, he was about to protest, she wasn’t intruding, but he decided to leave it, h could see they were both tired and in the mood for proper sleep.
He made sure she had a pillow, a blanket and some water and that she knew where the bathroom was before he turned out the light in the kitchen, all that was left was to put out the light in his bedroom to surround the studio-layout room in darkness. She was pulling her combat boots off when he crouched in front of her, her eyes shooting to his in surprise. He helped her as her hands struggled to untie the laces, her hands trembling to badly to be of any use. “The Senator said the rebellion is greatful for our efforts.” He didn’t know why he said thatmaybe to erase the guilt he felt or hers he coudl so clearly see were burning behind her eyes. “Our efforts?” She questioned as he pulled off the boot and worked on loosening the other one. “We killed children.” She spat out, he stilled his actions, his eyes coming up to meet hers in the relative darkness. “Sorry, I don’t think we need any reminders.” She said, he nodded. “Did you hesitate?” She asked him, when he didn’t answer directly she continued, “It felt like the world had stilled and I still made that choice and now life goes on like there aren’t the blood of twenty dead children on my hands.” She glanced down at the palms in her lap, Cassian’s hands grasped her own in a gentle grip. “Not just yours, ours. We made that decision together for the rebellion, it will never be right but we’ll just have to learn to live with it.” He said gently, she nodded weakly, taking in a deep breath. He pulled off the last boot and stood as she dlid under the blanket. He turned out the last light and slid into bed. Thinking he would find it hard to fall asleep.
It was the scream that ripped him from his sleep abruptly, he sat up, his fingers grasping the blaster beneath his pillow only to see K2So coming into view. “I think she’s having a nightmare.” His mind seemed to orientate it as the scream faded. Cassian slipped from the decadent warmth of his covers and made his way over to the couh with some haste. Despite the fact that they had both been caught and tortured on the previous mission, he hadn’t heard so much of a grunt from her when they tried all sorts of ways to make her talk. She had later explained to him that she had been trained to take torture, this raised some alarm as he crouched next to the couch to take in her tossing and turning form. Whatever she must be experiencing must be terrible to elicit this response from her. “No, please, I don’t want to.” She murmured, Cassian’s hand rested on the side of her face, she flinched as soon as it made contact but seemed to relax when he followed it with. “It’s okay, Y/N, it’s just a nightmare.” He wasn’t sure he could convince himself with that. “Cassian?” K2 questioned expectantly. “Thank you, K. You may shut down.” He said to the droid who walked over to the corner and proceeded to do just that. Y/N whimpered again, “It’s okay, you’re okay.” He soothed her, as she relaxed considerably. He stood again and scooped the girl into his arms and made his way over to his own bed where he place the girl under the covers and slid in on the other side. He pulled her closer underneath the sheets, she pressed her faced deeper into his chest as soon as his arms looped around her waist.
Y/N woke with a start, a hand rubbed her back as her breathing hitched in her throat. She was definitely comfortably warm and the voice assuring her that she was alright was also convincing her that she was safe. She knew that voice, in fact, she knew the inticing smell of the person who she pressed against. Her hands came up around Cassian to grasp the back of his t-shirt when he assured her again. She dug her face into his chest and memorised this moment. The security of it, the warmth, she had never felt anything remotely close and she didn’t want it to end. She was almost asleep again when K2’s voice erupted in the room. “Really? This isn’t the time for morning cuddles, Cassian. You know you have to meet General Draven in fifteen minutes and besides the cafeteria is about to close.” Cassian quieted the droid with a harsh shush, as your face came up to slightly peer at the Captain himself. “But what do I know, I’m just a reprogrammed Imperial droid not your mother.” K2 mumbled to himself as he turned around ignoring Cassian’s warning completely.
“He’s right.” Cassian grunted, shifting slightly to look her in they eyes and tuck a stray lock behind her ears. “But you can stay if you want?” He offered as he slid out of bed. She merely grunted in return as she pulled his pillow in her embrace to hug it to her chest, a poor substitute.