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With one hand softly squeezing his other cold arm, Shiro was slowly letting everything hit him. He was back, wasn’t he? All the others were so surprised. He was still in shock about it all. They all took time to hug and cry and laugh and say nothing but cries of happiness. But the time to explain everything came and he did the best he could to explain what he, himself, couldn’t even understand properly. He told the bits he remembered and kept to himself the bits he thought that needed some meditation on. And they listened worriedly, but still respectfully.
Soon, Allura and Coran were insisting that he should rest and he said he would, after eating some three full plates that Hunk made him. It didn’t even matter that he didn’t know half of the ingredients used on the food, it was Hunk’s cooking and it was so familiar that it hurt. Many things were hurting, such as hearing from Pidge that they still didn’t have any news on Matt, and that even with his whole disappearing thing, he still didn’t have any clues on how to help her finding him. And somewhere in between the catching up with Lance on what had happened while he was away, he heard him saying how Keith assumed the Black Lion and what a noisy, but still good, leader he was – he admitted it only to Shiro, though. And that was when he finally, finally, really looked at Keith.
And it hurt.
It hurt really bad because he could see as clearly as day how Keith was hurting. How he had been hurting during all these… Gosh, Shiro couldn’t even tell how long it has been. But it was clearly too long. It was clear that any time would be too long. Shiro knew how much his presence mattered in Keith’s life, because he knew how much Keith’s mattered in his, and knew that because of his damned personality, he wouldn’t talk about this with anyone, because Shiro was always the one he would open up to. And, yet, he did what he was asked to. Became the leader of Voltron. The head. Even though he never wanted to.
And all this hurt, and pressure, and weight and… something else, that he couldn’t grasp on, were in his eyes. Shiro could see it all, as he always could, with him.
Now, though, Shiro was heading back to his room, wishing to rest and sleep through many hours, but knowing he would be only rebooting everything that happened in his head and thinking about every single detail he could have missed. When he stopped in front of the door, though, he had to pause and smile. He was indeed back, wasn’t he?
The door opened and Keith was staring at him, sitting on his bed. It took a moment for Shiro to notice, but the paladin’s eyes were red and teary. Shiro asked himself when he got there, but he could remember how Keith was slowly fading away from the conversation and then from the room, and how Shiro wanted to follow him but couldn’t. And there he was. Apparently, crying by himself while waiting for him.
— Keith… – Shiro whispered, but Keith soon covered the distance between them and hugged him tight.
It was different from the hug he gave him when Shiro was suddenly back on the castle. At that moment, everyone was gathering, hugging and crying. Now, Keith was clinging onto him, his arms tightening more and more around him. Shiro could clearly hear Keith sobbing in his shoulder and that completely shattered his heart. His own eyes were getting filled with tears once more. To see and hear Keith break like this in his arms it was… it was just too much.
The black paladin hugged him back more firmly and he regretted that they were both still using their uniforms, because that cold touch of hard fabric wasn’t even near enough of what Shiro wanted. He wanted the warmth, the skin, he wanted to show Keith that he was there, he was back for sure and everything was going to be ok now. Because that was what Keith needed at the moment, right? He needed this warm reassurance and Shiro wanted to give it to him.
He felt the red paladin relax a bit in his arms and stop the sobbing, even though his breathing was still quickened. Keith let his both arms slide to rest in Shiro’s chest and detached himself from the other just enough to let their breaths mix together. Shiro felt the need to call Keith’s name once more and maybe lead him into talking about what he was feeling, but he was completely stopped in any train of thoughts he could have.
Keith kissed him.
Keith lifted his head, closed his now reddish eyes and pressed their lips together. Keith curled his fingers in Shiro’s chest. Keith barely let their lips brushing against each other, but let each of their lips perfectly match each other, in a perfect fit. Keith… Keith was there now. Kissing him and letting himself be completely vulnerable in his arms.
Shiro’s mind was a blank while his whole mouth was on fire. He could only think about the warmth he wanted to pass to Keith and how he was the one receiving it by a mere brush of lips. He could only think about how he had been only considering Keith’s burden with leadership and not with… everything else. How conceived was him to think that he could understand everything when he didn’t even put into consideration that.
And that was new. Not new in the sense of existing, because that was always there, the big elephant in the room between them that no one speaks about. But putting action into that? It was new. Everything else always seemed so much more important, so much more urgent to take care, than to put into existence feelings they didn’t even had the courage to talk about. Feelings that were too much complicated and that they didn’t even know if it was right to be feeling while a war was happening.
But how could Shiro could be so dense?
Keith was there. In mere seconds, he had shown to him how simple it was. How right it was. How much more important this touch was. How it mattered the whole galaxy and how it couldn’t be put aside any longer. Not when they still had the bittersweet taste of what could really happen in this whole mess they were in.
In what seemed ages to both of them, but it was only a few seconds, Shiro spread one hand, the warm and human one, on Keith’s cheek, cupping his face to bring him closer. To deepen the kiss. Keith was still crying, but, this time, he never looked so serene. So sure. And to see that gave space to Shiro close his own eyes, while his tongue gently found room inside the red paladin’s mouth. The hot touch of their tongues was slowly bringing they both back to ground and without Keith even noticing, one of his thumbs was sweetly caressing the hand on his cheek. As if in agreement, they broke the kiss and separated just enough so they could look at each other.
It was too real now and they both knew that and they both loved that.
Keith watched as Shiro’s Adam’s apple went up and down, recognizing the same struggle to talk that he was feeling inside himself. But, gosh, Shiro was here. It wasn’t just one of his desperate dreams anymore.
They looked at each other, looking for any sign of any thing and soon the room was filled with both their laughs. Shiro licked his lips, still with Keith’s sweet taste on it, and smiled sideways.
— If I knew that all that would take to make you kiss me would be disappearing in space during battle… - He whispered, playing with a strand hair in Keith’s face, before putting it back behind his ear. The red paladin’s eyes rolled fondly and he shook his head.
— Well, if I knew that all that would take was crying in front of you…
They went to laughing again, but this time Shiro wiped the wet trail of tears in Keith’s cheeks. Soon, his laugh was gone and he was frowning his brows.
— I hope I don’t see you like that again… Not… not because of me. – He sighed deeply before brushing their lips sweetly once more. Keith shrugged his shoulders.
— It’s okay now. You’re here, you’re back. It’s all that matters to me.
Shiro wanted to argue, but not now. Not at this moment of so much closeness. He sighed once more, this time feeling all the tiredness he should feel after everything. His whole body was suddenly weighting way more than it should, as if after somewhat clearing things up with Keith was enough to allow him to let his body rest for the day. Apparently, that was showing in his face, since the other one was looking at him worriedly.
— Hey… I should let you rest now, you need it. We can talk later. – Keith said, smiling a bit, and pushing him towards his bed.
Before he could turn and leave, though, Shiro held his hand and stopped him.
— Stay. I need to rest, I admit it, but I want you here. I guess… – He scratched the back of his neck, suddenly embarrassed. – I guess I’ve been away from you for too long.
Feeling his ears burning from embarrassment, Keith stared hardly at the floor, nodding just barely enough for Shiro to see that he agreed.
After taking off most of their armor – Keith light blush on his cheeks while helping Shiro take off his not making any easier for them to think it was just a normal operation –, leaving just the black leather on, the black paladin dropped himself on the bed, sitting with his legs crossed. Keith lay himself on the bed, hiding his face behind his hair, and then started to give little coughs, in which Shiro just stared at him blankly. After coughing some more and not having any response back, he tugged on the other’s arms, indicating the space next to him. Understanding finally hit the leader of Voltron and he laughed, receiving a well thrown pillow in his face, before he could finally, finally, lay beside Keith.
— You’re too dense, Shiro. – Keith whispered, while the other approached to given him a soft, but deep kiss.
— No, I’m not. – He whispered back, after a while, finally detaching their lips and getting himself comfortable on the other’s chest.
Keith let his hands wander loosely on the white part of Shiro’s hair.
— I can’t believe you’re finally back… – The red paladin said, his voice cracking up at the end.
Shiro hugged him closer, closing his eyes. The warmth of a hug without the hard armor finally there, making him realize how much he, instead of Keith, was the one who needed it. The touch of another human. The touch of Keith.
— It’s good to be back.
He said, somewhere between drifting off to sleep.