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The world was quiet. There was birdsong and the soft chirping of insects and a gentle breeze through the leaves, and somewhere off in the distance was the faint rippling of a stream. The day was overcast and slightly hazy, creating thin clouds between the trees. Natsume closed his eyes. He wished he could stay here forever, letting the dampness of the grass soak into his skin, breathing in earthy air, listening to a careless world continue on lazily around him. Feeling soft, warm fingers pass through his hair and over his eyes. He was convinced he’d never be happier than in this very moment.
“I wish we could stay here forever.”
He opened his eyes. From where he was lying, he couldn’t see Tanuma’s face, but he could very easily picture the dreamy expression on it. He smiled softly and adjusted his head in Tanuma’s lap, letting his eyes close again. “It’s like you read my mind.”
“I can do that, you know.”
Natsume reached up to touch the back of the warm hand moving to his forehead. “I believe you.”
He really, truly did.
They were quiet for a while longer. It seemed almost irreverent to disrupt the serenity of the forest with talking, even if they spoke just barely above a whisper. The calm permeated deep into the core of Natsume’s being, seemingly coaxing the anxiety of impending events right out of him. It was still there, of course, somewhere deep within him. But it seemed impossible to be worried, this deep into the woods. Like his troubles were thousands of miles away.
Not the spirits. They were certainly here. Even now, he could sense tiny ones watching them from behind a clump of mushrooms, some sitting on the tree boughs above their heads. Deep in here, though, none were malicious. Curious at most. Almost like a barrier had formed around them, keeping the worrisome things out. They were safe here.
The problem was that they would eventually have to leave.
Suddenly Natsume felt something being dropped on his head. He looked up and Tanuma was smiling down at him, looking pleased with himself. Natsume reached up to feel plant stems intertwined. A crown of wildflowers.
He sat up and gently took it off. The flowers were white, clumsily pieced together in a delicate circlet.
“Remember when we made these with Taki?”
“Of course I do.”
Tanuma took the crown and placed it back on Natsume’s head. “I was already so in love with you by then.”
Natsume could feel his cheeks color. Tanuma’s smile widened, making his eyes crinkle, and Natsume never wanted to leave his side for anything.
Tanuma was beautiful in every way. He almost didn’t seem real here. The soft, muted light filtering down through the leaves made him look ethereal, like he might disappear in the blink of an eye.
Natsume reached down to pluck a flower from the ground and tucked it behind the other boy’s ear. He laughed a little, and Natsume just knew he’d fallen in love with an angel. He might disappear. Everything in Natsume’s life was ephemeral—at least the good things. Tanuma had been here longer than he’d ever dared to hope, but he knew that time would be coming to an end soon. He wasn’t scared by that anymore, though. Sad, yes, but he’d been able to reach a point where he was just happy that he got to know him and have this time with him at all. A year ago, maybe, he would have thought that it would’ve been better if they’d never met, never gotten close at all, to spare himself the pain of inevitable separation. But he didn’t feel that way anymore. Now just being able to know him was a blessing he wouldn’t trade for anything.
Summer was coming to an end. Soon they would be moving on with their lives, to different cities and different schools and different people. When they left this forest, Natsume was sure he’d become scared about the future again.
But right now, there was only Tanuma. So he kissed him. Tanuma kissed him back, slowly, sweetly, tasting and savoring and committing to memory. The sleepy world moved around them, unconcerned and unhurried.
Natsume didn’t want to leave behind things like koi ponds and shogi boards and flower crowns. But he would carry the memories in his heart forever, and treasure them until his last breath.
They laid down in the tall grass at some point, with their lips still pressed together. The wildflowers were probably crushed.
When Tanuma pulled away, Natsume didn’t open his eyes. But then long fingers brushed his long bangs out of his face and tucked them behind his ears, and Tanuma said his name in a quiet, deep voice, like his name was something holy and precious.
“Let’s get married.”
He opened his eyes then. “What?”
Tanuma was staring at him with large eyes, a soft pink glow in the apples of his cheeks. “I don’t want this to end.”
Natsume didn’t breathe. The world still passed slowly by, unfazed.
“Marry me.” Tanuma’s hands moved to his own, enveloping his finger in large palms. “I don’t care when. We can wait a thousand years if you want to. Just promise me you will.”
The wind rustled the leaves, a hushed whisper that made the grass and Tanuma’s hair sway with it.
“I want to be with you forever.”
A shallow breath passed Natsume’s lips. “Is that okay?”
Good things weren’t supposed to last. This chapter in his life was coming to a close, so he was prepared to leave it behind. Nothing this wonderful was ever permanent; he’d known that his whole life.
“Can we…?”
Tanuma’s hand came to rest on the side of his head again and he kissed him once more, shortly, but with the intent of a promise. “Marry me. Please.”
A drop of rain fell from the sky. It was quickly followed by another, and another, and soon the forest was enveloped in a misty drizzle and the patter of raindrops on the ground added to the chorus of wind and birds and insects.
Natsume’s breath stuttered in and out of his lungs. Tears pooled in his eyes, spilled over his cheeks, and dropped to the ground to be absorbed into the earth. “I will.”
A while later, Tanuma offered his jacket, but Natsume refused it. He liked the rain. Rain made flowers grow.
When he told Tanuma this, the boy reached up to take the bloom out from behind his ear. Natsume watched as he looped the stem around itself and tied it. He took Natsume’s left hand, and slid the loop around his ring finger. The flower was still perfect, each petal smooth and brilliantly white.
“I’m never going to leave you. I love you, Takashi.”
Even if this was a dream, even if it would come to an end, Natsume would hold onto it as long as he possibly could.
“I love you too.”