Chapter Text
"But I don't wanna go help him!" Anti pouted, staring at Lucifer with blue, puppy dog eyes. "What if he's boring?"
"That doesn't matter. You're going to be his guardian. Satan forbid that my brother sends him some kind of Angel." Lucifer says, shrugging off Anti's pleading hand as he prepares to open the portal.
"Why can't he? It'd be so much better to have me here, you need me here!" Anti pleaded, and Lucifer shot him a fiery, warning look.
"I don't need you any more than I need any other demons. He's not even a child Anti, be lucky I'm not making you suffer through that. You are supposed to be getting punishment."
"Not the type of punishment I was hoping for." Anti mumbles, giggling when Lucifer scoffs at him. "Fine, I'll go help your silly little mortal. Don't know why you're so insistent on getting me to be his guardian anyways."
Lucifer full on laughs, a loud, evil cackle that shakes the whole Underground. "You'll see. Now, if you please? I have other things to attend to." He says, and Anti grumbles some more as he steps through the portal, crossing his arms as he's transported to Earth.
"Die motherfucker!" Jack screams, laughing as he blows up Mark's car again, smirking as Mark rages and screams.
"That's not fair! This whole game isn't fair!!!" Mark argues, and Jack rolls his eyes, continuing on down the street as if nothing happened.
Through his headphones, he hears a bump from his living room, followed by a really loud curse.
Jack stilled immediately, going rigid and silent.
"Jack...? Jack are you o-"
"Shhhhh! I think someone's breakin' in." Jack whispers, turning his chair slightly.
"Breaking in??? Why don't you-"
"Mark!" Jack whisper yells, and he shuts up again when he hears slow footfalls. "I'll be right back."
"Okay...be careful." Mark whispers, and Jack removes his headphones without replying. He walks carefully over to his door, grabbing a rail that didn't quite fit on his bed as he sneaks across the floor. The footsteps are closer now, and he jumps when he hears a knock on his recording room door. He stands in front of it, rail held up high, preparing to fight.
He closes his eyes and swings harshly as the door opens, but he's startled as the rail is simply caught in the hands of the intruder. Jack opens his eyes and mouth to argue, but is startled to see a guy with blacked out eyes that looks exactly like him staring back.
He wants to yell for help.
But all that comes out is
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! WHAT THE FUCK!!!"
The guy tilts his head slightly, as if he was surprised by Jack's reaction.
"Hm. Mortals don't normally react to me like that." He shrugs, snatching the rail away from Jack and throwing it to the side. Jack scrambles away as he walks towards him, arms folded as he seems to examine Jack.
"What the FUCK??? YE LOOK JUST LIKE ME BUT YER EYES ARE FUCKIN' BLACK!"
The guy has an epiphany and laughs, blinking as his eyes turn normal with glowing green irises. "Better?"
"NO! I-OH SHIT!" Jack says, realizing that Mark probably thinks he's going fucking insane. He back away from the guy, who makes no effort to step towards him anymore, and picks up his headset.
"Jack what the fuck???" Mark yells, fussing over him like always.
"Hey it's all settled but can I call ye back okay great!" He says, not letting Mark argue with him any longer as he throws the headset down and pulls himself into his chair. "Why are you in my fuckin' house???"
"Ugh, such foul language. Believe me, I don't want to be here either. Though, your reaction almost made it worth it. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Anti, demon of Chaos." The guy says, extending his hand out to Jack with a sharp smile.
"I'll pass on yer handshake, thanks." Jack deadpans, and the guy smirks, withdrawing his hand and leaning against the wall. "Why the hell did ye come bother me? An' why do ye look like me?"
"Correction, you look like me." He says, rolling his eyes, then holding out his hand as a small glitching screen appears from it. "I've been alive for 1672 years, and you're what? 27? Please. Anyways," He continues, directing Jack's attention to the small screen, "My boss, Lucifer, sent me here to be your guardian demon. Don't ask me why, I don't know or really care. He opened the portal to Earth, and here I am."
Jack watches as his tale is played out on the small screen, then looks back at the demon as it disappears. "Guardian demon? I'm an adult. Don't people get guardians as babies?"
"Some do. But those are guardian angels, completely different and separate from us." Anti says, and Jack can't help but hear the anger behind his voice.
"Ye sound a little bitter."
"You'd be bitter too if you were stuck with an idiot."
"Guess I'll see how bitter I get then." Jack laughs, but Anti doesn't find his joke amusing. "So, what? Yer jus' gonna follow me around and shit, make sure I don't get hurt?"
"I could care less if you get hurt. I'm here to keep you out of moral harm, not physical harm."
"Couldn't physical harm lead to moral harm?"
"Ugh. I'm going back downstairs. Tell me when you have questions about torture." Anti says, then he opens the door and walks out.
Jack takes an exhale, then grabs his now vibrating phone.
Mark
Are you okay?
Jack
Yeah I'm fine, just a misunderstanding. :)
Because how else can you tell your best friend that an exact evil clone of you showed up at your house?
Mark
Oh okay. So, are you still coming tomorrow? Or did you wanna reschedule your flight?
Flight? Oh shit.
Jack totally forgot that he was going to L.A. tomorrow.
Anti will stay here right?
Jack
Of course. See you at 5am in a couple days.
Mark
Awesome!!!!
He read the reply and sat his phone back on his computer desk.
Then he screamed.
Really loud.
This was so fucked.