Archive of Our Own ^beta

I've been with Voltron for about three weeks now. It's nice, being untouchable. I no longer have to worry about getting knocked around or anything. I get protection and all I have to do in return is forge notes and signatures and stuff. Shiro's okay, kinda standoff-ish, Keith is kinda stroppy and bitchy, he's always trying to copy what Shiro does. Lance seems nice, still mean, he is part of Voltron, but still sort of nice.

"Hey, Katie!" I look up as Shiro, Keith and Lance sit down with me. I close my notebook and sit up a little more. "Okay, so, Katie. You can forge the Balmera twins' handwritings right? Rax's and Shay's?" I'm a little confused as to why Shiro's asking this but I nod. 

"...yeah. Why?" 

"I need you to write a letter. In his handwriting. Just copy exactly what I say." I pause, then shrug and rip out the back page of my notebook. 

"Sure."

"Okay, so..." 

After I'm done I put both notes in the middle. Lance picks them up and disappears. 

"Why did you have me put that note from Shay?" 

"Because then he'll definitely go."

"To Rax's homecoming party?" I raise an eyebrow. Who's this for? 

"Exactly." Lance is back, standing next to the table. We all stand and start to walk.

"It's for Garrett. He's got a huge crush on Shay Balmera so, if he thinks she's going to be there, he'll go."

"...Hunk Garret?" 

"Obviously."

"No! You can't give this to him. He's liked her since kindergarten, back when we were all friends. If he found out..." I trail off. It would destroy him. 

"We're being nice. He'll be happy, thinking that she actually likes him. That little note from 'her' will give him wanking material for weeks."

"He's my friend." 

"Not anymore. We're your friends now. And, just admit it, you know that if Hunk had your shot he'd have left you to rot already. So come on, you don't need him anymore. You don't need Altea either. You're part of our team now, you're flying with eagles. Unless, of course, you'd like to end up like him." They shove me backwards and I knock into someone. Hunk. 

"Pidge, look! Rax invited me to his homecoming party. There's even a note from his sister, Shay! This proves that she likes me." I swallow nervously. 

"...colour me stoked." 

"I’m so happy! I can't wait to tell Allura!" I watch as he turns and walks out. I want to reach out and tell him the truth but it would break him. He'd hate me. Shiro, Keith and Lance smirk at me and go out into the courtyard. I start to follow when an unfamiliar voice speaks up. 

"Y'know, you don't have to let them walk all over you like that." I turn. Sitting on the steps is a boy I've never seen before. He's wearing a black trench coat and has long, silvery-white hair. He raises an eyebrow. "I mean, you obviously have a soul. You just need to work on keeping it clean. 'We are all born marked for evil.'" He sighs and stands, walking away. 

"Uh, excuse me? You can't just quote Baudelaire at me then walk away. I didn't even catch your name!" 

"I didn't throw it." I watch as he goes and sits at an empty table in the corner. I sigh and walk away. Rax and Rolo are standing near me. 

"Huh. Who does he think he is in that jacket, Bo Diddley?" 

"We should beat him up!" 

"We're seniors." I watch as they walk away, obviously off to torture some poor kid. I sit and start to write in my notebook. I suddenly hear multiple cries of 'holy shit'. I look up and see that everyone seems to be looking at the area that kid went. I start to push through the crowd then stop. Rolo is lying on the ground as the kid and Rax are swinging at each other. I see the kid's holding a book. He seems to be using it as a weapon. He looks beautiful. Kinda like an avenging angel. I can feel my face heat up slightly. I sigh. Why is it, that, when you see boys fighting it looks really horrible but also feels so right? I really shouldn't watch this crap. It's not who I am. But, with this kid? Damn. So hey, mister no-name kid, I wonder who you are, and, if I asked, would you fight for me? And, I wonder if he could face the crowd, be seen with me and still act so proud? I wonder if he would hold my hand tight and carry me through no-man's land. It's fine if he wouldn't but I want to tell him that I'd fight for him if he'd fight for me. They could drive us underground, I really couldn't care how far in. He could set my broken bones and I know CPR. I watch as he swings round and slams his book into Rolo's face when he tries to punch him from behind. Suddenly I'm being pulled back. It's Voltron. They glare and drag me away. I glance back once more and see the kid staring at me. I flush and turn back around. 

Shiro, Keith, Lance and I are all in my garden. Croquet has been set up. Shiro is black, Keith is red, Lance is blue and I'm green. There's a conversation going on, something about that party tonight but my thoughts are occupied with that boy. I smirk slightly. Rax and Rolo deserved that beating. Shiro looks at me and raises his eyebrow.

"Hmm... you seem amused about something." I pull a face. 

"Yeah right." Lance rolls his eyes and smirks. 

"Right. Don't think I didn't see you checking out that boy earlier. The one who beat up Rax and Rolo? You're totally into him." I feel myself flush slightly but force myself to scoff. 

"I don't even know his name." Mostly because he didn't tell me... 

"Neither do I. He's in my American History I think?" I shrug, even though the question was rhetorical. Keith rolls his eyes. 

"We're off topic." Shiro knocks his black ball into Keith's red one. 

"I thought you were giving up on high school guys?" He says, ignoring Keith. 

"Well, you know what they say, never say never." Keith looks up at Shiro. 

"Are you taking the shots or knocking me out?" We all stare at him. 

"Keith. I play to win." Shiro places his foot on his black ball. He swings his mallet down hard on the ball, sending the adjacent red one rocketing into one of the flower beds. Keith pulls a face and sighs. 

"Damn." He walks over to where the ball landed. Shiro shrugs and takes a shot. He just misses the wicket. 

"Whatever. Your turn Keith." Keith shakes his head. 

"It's Lance's turn." We watch as Lance takes his shot. It goes through the wicket and he cheers. He then proceeds to miss his next shot. 

"Yo, Keith! Your go." We all turn to look at him. There's no way he can make that. He looks at the ball, at the tree next to him, then at the wicket. He shuffles round and hits the ball so it bounces off the tree. It goes straight through the wicket. Lance and I cheer. Shiro claps slowly. 

"Well done." There's the honk of a car horn and Matt steps outside. 

"Lance, your mum's here." He puts down his mallet. 

"Come on you two, I'll give you a lift." As they leave Matt walks down to stand with me. Just before he goes through the door, Shiro stops. 

"I'll pick you up at 8. Be ready." Then he leaves. Matt pulls a face. 

"He was nicer as a kid." I laugh and swat his arm. 

"He's not that bad!" Matt raises an eyebrow and I shake my head. "Let's go eat. I need to get ready soon."

I jump out of Shiro's car. Lance leans out the window. 

"Make sure to get the corn nuts, it's not a party without them." I nod. 

"BQ or plain?" 

"BQ!" Three indignant voices reply. I smile slightly and shake my head as I walk in. I grab a couple of bags of BQ corn nuts. Suddenly I hear a voice behind me. 

"Greetings and salutations. Are you going to get a slushie with that?" I turn, it's the boy from earlier. 

"No, but, if you're nice you can buy me one." He pulls a face. 

"That's like going to McDonald's and getting a salad." He sounds... deeply passionate about it. For some reason. I shake my head.  

"My name's Katie. Katie Holt." I hold out my hand. He looks at it then up at me and smirks. 

"I know who you are." I blush slightly and start to draw my hand back. He reaches forwards and shakes it. His hands are warm and slightly rough. 

"Lotor Galran." I smile. 

"Hmm... what's a Baudelaire-quoting badass like you doing in Sherwood, Ohio?" 

"Eh. My dad's work. Maybe you've seen the adverts for it? Zarkon Galran. The deconstruction guy?" I giggle. 

"At the end he presses a button and the screen blows up?" He nods. "That's your dad?" 

"Yep. In all his toxic glory." I sigh. 

"Yeah. Everyone's life has static." I wince as someone, probably Lance, presses down on the car horn, hard. "Like, for instance, I don't really like my friends that much." He pulls a face. 

"I don't like your friends much either. Why don't you ditch that party and hang out with me here?" He spreads his arms. 

"At 7/11? Swanky first date." I chuckle. He shrugs. 

"I like it here."

"No offence, but why?"

"Well, I mean, I've been through ten high schools and they start to get a bit blurry. There's no point planting roots because, well, we're always gone in a hurry. My dad keeps two pre-packed suitcases, so, really, it's only a matter of when. I don't learn the names and I don't bother with the faces. All I can really trust is this concrete oasis. The thing is, every time I'm about to despair there's a 7-11 right there. The beauty is, each store is the same from Las Vegas to Boston. These linoleum aisles that I love to get lost in. I pray at my altar of slush; yeah I live for that sweet frozen rush." I try to stifle a giggle but he still notices. He raises an eyebrow. "Yes?" 

"Nothing... it's just, you're literally waxing poetic about 7/11 of all places." He sticks out his tongue at me. He walks over to the slushie counter and fills it up. 
"Just freeze your brain. Suck on that straw and get lost in the pain. I've found that happiness appears when everything numbs. Who needs cocaine?" He grins at me and holds out the cup. "Care for a hit?" I smile back and take a sip before sitting up on the counter. 

"Does your mommy know you eat all this crap?" He smiles again but his eyes are sad. 

"Not anymore." I freeze slightly and the smile starts to slip from my face. His back's to me as I silently freak out. But, by the time he turns back, I've smoothed out my features. "When mom was alive we lived halfway normal. But now it's just me and my dad, so, we're way less formal. I learned to cook pasta and I learned to pay rent; learned the world doesn't owe you a cent." He gestures at me. "You're planning your future. You're going to go to some high-end college and marry a lawyer or something. But just remember that the sky's gonna hurt when it falls so you better begin building some walls." He looks slightly frantic. 

"Are you okay?" He nods.

"Just freeze your brain. Swim in the ice and get lost in the pain. Shut your eyes tight, till you vanish from sight. Make sure nothing remains. Do whatever it takes." He grips my shoulders. "Shatter your skull, fight pain with more pain!" He let's go and spins then turns again. "Just forget who you are and unburden your load. Let yourself forget that, in six weeks, you'll be back on the road again. And, when the voice in your head says that you're better off dead, please don't open a vein. Freeze your brain instead." He goes back over to the slushie machine and fills it up. Cherry. He holds it out to me. "Try it!" He's looking cheerful again, like he didn't just let out a bunch of emotional baggage. I take it from him with a smile. 

As we stand by his motorbike, I can see Shiro, Keith and Lance getting annoyed. I give a quick wave before turning back to Lotor. 

"I love your bike." He grins. 

"Thanks. Comes with my dad's job." I smile at him as Lance makes frantic hand gestures at me. 

"See you later?" 

"Definitely." 

''Dad always says "act your age." Well, you heard it man, it's time to rage!" There's a collective cheer at that. 

Everyone's cheering about... something. The music is on full, filling the entire house and almost shaking the walls. I lean on the bar, tipsy. 

"Alright... so it's salt, then lime and then shot!" Lance shakes his head. 

"No, no no! It's salt then-" Shiro suddenly butts in. 

"No Katie, you're doing it wrong." I grin lazily at him. 

"Really? Because I feel great!" A guy walking past stops and turns. 

"Katie? You are looking good tonight!" He grins at me. As soon as he's gone I turn, my eyes sparkling. 

"Did you see that? A hot guy just smiled at me without a single trace of mockery anywhere!" Shiro and Lance smile indulgently while Keith rolls his eyes. 

Everything's pretty hazy. I'm pretty stoned so I should probably stop smoking. I walk past a couple of girls. 

"Hey! Is that weed? I want a hit!" The girl closest to me smiles and shrugs before passing it to me. I grin at her. "Thanks!" 

I'm talking to Lance when I see a flash of yellow out if the corner of my eye. I turn. It's Hunk. I jog over to him. 

"...Hey Hunk." He turns and smiles. 

"Hey Pidge!" 

"I... can't believe you actually came..."

"I know! It's exciting, right? I bought sparkling cider! Hang on, I want to go say hello to Rax. Shay too, if she's here." I pause, a sick feeling in my stomach. I see Voltron glaring so I swallow thickly. I need to ask him something that's been on my mind too. 

"Yeah. Um... have you seen Allura recently?" He pauses. 

"No, I haven't. She's probably just sick." I nod. He grins once more and disappears into the crowd. I turn and Lance is in front of me. 

"Just remember, you're with us now." I nod slightly. They start to whisper with each other. Keith smirks and picks up the pig pinata from earlier. The other two grin and they all leave. In the distance I can see Hunk. I feel sick again. He's my friend, I shouldn't have done that. 

I approach Rax slowly. That note apologised for his actions but I'm still wary. I adjust my shirt slightly and clear my throat. He turns and raises an eyebrow at me. 

"Hey Rax... I wasn't going to come but after you and your sister took the time to write those letters..." Rax pulls a face. I hand him the cider, hands shaking slightly. 

"What note? Why d'you gotta be so weird all the time? If you acted normal, people wouldn't hate you so much." I flush slightly but, because of the lighting and my dark skin, it's probably not even visible. Rax chugs the cider before spitting it out almost instantaneously. I step forward. 

"Hey, are you-" He glares at me. 

"There's no alcohol in here! Are you trying to poison me?!" I step back, stuttering an apology. 

Shiro's standing on a table. He claps twice and everyone looks at him. 

"Alright people! Time to celebrate our upcoming victory over the Razorbacks by wacking apart their mascot!" Everyone cheers and whoops! I frown, they're up to something. Shiro jumps off the table and Lance takes his place, holding a bat and a blindfold. 

"We need a volunteer!" Shiro, standing to the side, speaks up. 

"Hunk Garrett!" The boy in question looks up from the back of the room. "I think you should do the honours!" 

"I- I don't really know..." Lance grins. 

"Come on people! Let's show him some Garrison spirit!" Everyone cheers again. Then there's a chant. 

"Hunk! Hunk! Hunk!" The crowd pushes him forwards until he's at the front. He climbs up and Lance blindfolds him. Lance smirks and gestures off to the side. 

"Let's bring out the pinata!" Keith comes out holding the pinata. It now has a yellow shirt, an orange headband and a sign that says 'Hunk Garrett' on the side. Everyone laughs. I feel ill. 

"What are you doing? Keith, give that to me!" I go over to Keith and grab it. 

"Shiro, help!" Lance jumps down and him and Shiro join Keith and try to pull it back. I yank it back hard enough and they let go. 

"What is your damage?" I walk out onto the balcony. 

"You want this? You can swim for it!" I drop it down into the pool. I go back over and see that Hunk has just taken off the blindfold. 

"What's going on?" I sigh. 

"Look, go home. I'll explain everything later." 

"No, I was just going to-" 

"Hunk, go home." He looks round to see all the students glaring at him. He looks at me one more time before running out the room. I turn, suddenly feeling dizzy. It's too hot. I run into the hallway, my head spinning. Shiro storms up behind me. 

"What the hell was that?" 

"Look, we gave it a shot. I'm resigning from this. I'm going back to civilian life."

He grabs my shoulders and spins me round.  

"Please don't spin me, I'm not feeling well." He ignores me. 

"You don't get to be a nobody. Come Monday, you're an ex-somebody. Not even the losers will touch you now. Transfer to Washington, transfer to Jeffreyston, no one at the Garrison is going to let you play your reindeer games!" He let's go and I stagger. I take a few deep breaths before throwing up on the floor. I turn and find a closed water bottle. I swish the water around in my mouth and spit it out. Shiro is yelling still. 

"I raised you up from nothing. And what do I get? I get payed in puke." I glare. 

"Oh, just lick it up baby, lick it up!" He looks murderous. I turn and run. 

Outside, I lean against an alley wall. 

"Shit, shit, shit!" What the fuck have I done? 

"Hey kitty. I bet you're wondering what I'm doing here? Yeah? The rundown is, this girl, 'the demon Queen of highschool' has decided to ruin my social standing because of something that happened at a party. And- hey, aren't you a cute little kitty?" I let my hand hover just above the cat's head and it stretches up to press into my palm. I smile, so cute! "I've got a little over a day before I get hunted down in study hall. I mean, I could just, like, change my name and go somewhere else. Seattle maybe? The only problem with that plan is that I don't own a motorbike. I mean I coul-" As I'm mulling over my options the cat suddenly starts meowing, loudly. I glance up to where it's looking and see a boy changing in the window. I shake my head. Wait. I turn back and look. Isn't that... "Lotor?" The cat mews and looks at me smugly. I grin and pet it a bit more. "Now there's an idea! Thanks buddy!" I pet the cat one more time before climbing up the fence. The light's off and I can't see any movement so he's probably gone to bed. I take a breath and start walking across the top of the fence. I almost trip a few times but I get to where his window is eventually. I look up, the gap between where I'm standing and his windowsill is about my height. How should I... Ah. There's a gap in the wall. If I do it right I should be able to... Shit. I'm stuck, dangling from a wall. I close my eyes, take a deep breath then open them again. Okay, I can do this. I let go with one of my hands and slam it onto the windowsill. I grab onto it and pull myself up. Oh, thank god, the window's open slightly. I push it open fully, thanking the Lord that it opens inwards, and step inside. It's... pretty bare. I shake my head and look over at the bed. I smirk and walk over. He looks at me as if he's not seeing me properly before jumping and focusing his eyes on me properly. His cheeks go red as he sits up. 

"K-Katie! What are you doing in my room?" I put one finger to his lips as I shush him. I smirk. 

"Sorry, but, well, I really had to wake you up. Because, you see, I decided that I must ride you 'til I break you." His face is bright red now. I take a step back suddenly. He looks up at me, a silent question in his eyes. "Y'see, Shiro says I gots to go, so, you're my last meal on death row." He narrows his eyes and opens his mouth to say something. I shake my head and lean forwards, capturing his mouth with mine. He makes a muffled noise of shock before kissing me back. I break away, catching my breath. He flops back down and I smirk, unbuttoning my shirt. My blazer's already on the floor, he must have taken it off just then. "C'mon you know the drill." I look down at him with a grin. I begin to check the points off with my fingers. "I'm hot, pissed and I'm on the pill." I wink and he flushes again, wriggling a bit underneath me. He pushes me so I'm on my back and he starts to trail kisses across my jaw and down my neck. He nibbles at my collar for a little bit before continuing his way down. He pauses at my breasts, nibbling and sucking the skin not covered by my bra (which is quite a lot, it's fairly provocative). As he continues to work his way down my body I hazily notice that some of them will leave marks on my skin. Lotor lifts his face from my stomach and grins wickedly at me. He shimmies down on the bed and pushed my legs up so that my knees are pointed upwards. I raise an eyebrow and open my mouth to question his actions when he pulls down my underwear, cool air hitting me and making me gasp. He smirks at me again before bringing his head down again. I feel myself flush even more. I moan and can feel him grin against me. I look at his hair, long, silky and silvery. I wonder how it would feel to- my musings get cut off as he does something else, something new. Whatever else I was going to say or think is replaced with an endless chant of more. I can feel it in my gut and maybe he can too as he pulls back. Lifting his head up to look at my, grinning. His mouth is shiny and I groan. He grins. I suddenly pause, and he tilts his head at me, confused.

"Look, please know that this is because you're beautiful. I know that you say you're numb inside," at this he looks away. I smile softly and lean forwards, tucking a stand of his hair behind his ear. "But I really can't agree. So, okay, the world's unfair be we can keep it locked out there. In here it's beautiful. So, come on, let's make this beautiful!" He smiles at me, his golden eyes gazing into mine. He shrugs. 

"That works for me-" Whatever else he's going to say gets cut off as I fall on top of him and kiss him. It's slightly tangy and I realise that I'm tasting myself. He twines his hands into my hair and pulls me closer. I break away, gasping. He's a mess, hair rumpled, chest heaving, lips swollen and I know I probably look the same. I sit on top of him and slowly pull down his boxers. He gasps. I lift up my hips then put them back down when I've moved his boxers out of the way. His eyes flutter closed and I smile again. 

"Full steam ahead - take this dead girl walking!" He suddenly looks up at me. 

"Hey - how did you find my address?" I wink at him. 

"C'mon, let's break the bed. You can rock this dead girl walking!" His eyes widen slightly as I rock. 

"I think you just tore my mattress!" I stop my motions and he groans. I tap him on the nose. 

"No sleep tonight for you so you'd better chug that Mountain Dew." He swallows and his voice, when it comes out, is slightly higher-pitched than normal. 

"Okay, okay!" He clears his throat. 

"Get your ass in gear and make this whole town disappear!" I fling my arms out, desperate. He nods, looking more confident. 

"Okay!" Somewhere in that I started moving again. He shuffles so he's sitting up, me still in his lap, and starts thrusting. I moan. He grins, face red and tangles his hands in my hair again. Pulling at some points but being quite gentle overall. I dig my nails into his back as I get closer, he doesn't seem to notice. He comes and that sets me off. As I climax I drag my nails down his back. I feel him wince. I lean back slightly and press my lips against his. I feel him smile softly against my mouth. 

"...Katie?" I shake my head and regretfully start to disentangle myself from his arms. I shiver slightly. His window's still open as even though I kept my socks on and managed to put on my underwear again, I'm barely dressed. Out of the corner of my eye I see Lotor sitting up, tilting his head. 

"I've got to go see Shiro." I say, answering his unasked question. He pulls a face. 

"Why? Aren't you done with him? With all of them?" 

"Yeah, well, that was just a fantasy. A world without Voltron. A world where everyone is free. But now it's morning and I have to go kiss his arobacised ass." He firmly shakes his head.

"No. No you don't."

"Yes. I do. I'm not strong... not like you are." He smiles at me and shakes his head again. 

"No, you're not strong like me, you're strong like you." I smile back, my cheeks a little pinker than before. He sighs and climbs out of his bed. I tilt my head. 

"What are you..."

"I'm coming with you."

"Really?" I'm sorta incredulous. He hates all three of them, but from what I've seen, he seems to hate Shiro the most. 

"Yes." And I guess that's that. I pull on my shoes and watch as Lotor buttons his jacket up. He grins at me and pushes open the door. 

"Let's go." I smile up at him and duck under his arm to get out. Suddenly I pause, turn, and kiss him on the cheek before patting his shoulder. 

"Oh, yeah, by the way, you were my first." He lets out a snort of laughter and we leave. 

On the way there I fill Lotor in on exactly what happened last night. He lets out a puff of air when I'm done. 

"Goddamn. No wonder you looked so beat last night." I shake my head. 

"What a night. What a life." He looks at me out of the corner of his eye, his fingers drumming on the steering wheel. "I almost moved into high school out of sixth grade because I was meant to be this 'genius'. But then everyone decided to chuck the idea because I'd have trouble making friends, blah-blah-blah." I sigh again, running my hand through my hair. "But now it seems that blah-blah-blah is all I do. I use my grand I.Q to figure out what lip gloss to wear and how to hit three keggers before midnight." I let out a slightly bitter laugh. "Some genius." He leans over and presses a kiss against my forehead. 

"Takashi Shirogane is one of those people who deserve to die." I pull a face. 

"...Why do you hate him so much?" Lotor sighs and falls silent for a few moments. He lets out a sigh and begins to speak. 

"Shortly after my mother died, my father... began dating this one woman. She moved in with us for a bit and we stayed in the same place for the first time in ages. The thing is, is she had a son from her last marriage. He... didn't like me and I didn't like him. It felt like my father was trying to... replace my mother. Eventually she got tired of my father's asshole tenancies and left, taking him with her. We started moving around again and that was that." I lift my head up and press a kiss against his neck. 

"You really didn't have to come with me..." He smiles down at me. 

"Of course I did."

We go round the back and I see Lotor raise an eyebrow. He steps up to the kitchen door and does something to the lock. He manages to get the door open and I give him a little round of applause, a smile on my face. He grins and does an extravagant bow. We step inside and he lets out a low whistle at the interior of the house. 

"They've really done well for themselves." I shake my head and make my way round the counter. 

"He's going to be super hungover. Do you know any hangover cures?" He moves round to join me, handing me a white, lidded mug out of one of the cupboards as he stands next to me. 

"Yep. Prairie oyster." I tilt my head. "It's... raw egg, vinegar, hot sauce, worcestershire sauce, salt and pepper." I raise an eyebrow at him. 

"You sure know your hangover cures." He pulls a face. 

"My dad taught me well." I give a non-committal hum to that. As I'm mixing it together I see Lotor getting something out of one of the lower cupboards. He hold it up to me, triumphantly. 

"I'm more of a no-rust build up man myself." I roll my eyes and let out a slightly uneasy laugh. 

"Don't be a dick, that stuff would kill him."

"Thus ending his hangover! I say we go with big blue." He pours it into a cup and holds it up to the light, admiring it. I shake my head, putting the lid onto my mug. 

"Yeah, well, he'd never drink anything that looked like that."

"Yeah, yeah, you're right." He goes to tip it down the drain then stops. He turns back. 

"We'll put it in a mug then. He won't know what he's drinking." He pulls down a white mug and pours the contents of the glass into it before putting the lid on it. I shake my head. 

"Look, just forget it." He pulls a face at me, lifting the mug close to my face. I push him away slightly. 

"Oh come on, chicken. Bawk bawk bawk." I step back from the counter and cross my arms. 

"No, you're not funny." His face softens and he sets the mug down. He steps closer to me. 

"Hey," his voice is soft. "It was just a joke. I'm sorry." He puts a hand under my chin and lifts my face to his. He kisses me, slowly, softly and I lean up, pressing my lips harder against his. He steps back slightly and I stumble forwards. I break away slightly and feel across the counter, grabbing the closest cup. The one closest to me was mine. I press one more kiss against his lips before turning and walking out the room. 

I watch as she leaves the room, a soft, lazy smile on my face. I turn to the leftover mug, preparing to pour the drain cleaner away but pause as I lift up the lid. It's the prairie oyster. Which means that the drain cleaner is... in the mug that Katie took. 

"Hey Katie." I call out. She's probably, at most, halfway up the stairs. 

"Yeah?" Her voice is soft. She doesn't deserve to be tormented by them. I make up my mind. 

"Ah, it's nothing. Hang on, I'll carry the mug."

We make our way to Shiro's room and I knock lightly on the door. A muffled sound makes it's way through the door, like someone talking into a pillow. I turn to Lotor, raising one of my eyebrows. He shrugs and pushes open the door. We step into the room. The curtains are closed, the only light coming from the gap between said curtains. We wait at the foot of the bed. 

"Shiro?" He lets out an annoyed groan and sits up. He raises his eyebrows at us. 

"Katie? And... Jesse James? Quelle suprise." His face hardens slightly as he looks at Lotor. 

"Look, Shiro, about last night, I think we both said things that we regret." He looks at me, his face a mask of indifference. 

"...Did we?" I swallow nervously. 

"Uh, yeah." He just looks at me coldly. "I, um, made you this as a peace offering. A prairie oyster." I hold out the mug. He looks at it then looks back at me. Slowly he gets out of his bed and stands. He grabs the mug out of my hands. 

"Yeah, whatever. This doesn't mean you're forgiven though." He takes off the lid and chugs the contents. Almost straight away he drops the mug. The crash as it hits the floor is deafening. I see a little bit of blue liquid on the floor. He gags and I see that his tongue too is blue. I take a step back and Lotor holds me from behind. Shiro's still gagging, trying to cough up what he drank. He staggers towards me and manages to rasp out two words. 

"Corn nuts!" He gags a little more and Lotor pulls me back. Shiro suddenly crumples and is still. Lotor's arms tighten around me a little. 

"Well, shit." My brain is still processing what just happened. I break away from his hold and turn to him. 

"Don't just stand there, call an ambulance!" He shakes his head. 

"Too late for that." I swallow, my throat feels clogged. 

"...Shiro? Shiro?" There's no reply. Of course there's no reply. "Oh my God. I just killed my best friend!" He puts a hand on my shoulder. 

"And your worst enemy." I glare at him. 

"Same difference!" I stagger backwards and sit heavily in the chair at Shiro's desk. Lotor runs a hand through his hair. 

"Okay, okay, we need to figure out what we're going to tell the cops." I freeze. 

"Oh shit. The cops. Oh God, I'm going to have to send my SAT scores to San Quentin instead of Stanford." I rest my head in my hands. He lets out a short bark of a laugh. 

"Look, we're both a little freaked." He pauses. "But at least you got what you wanted y'know?" My head snaps up and I look at him in shock. 

"I did not want him dead!"  He lifts up his hands in a gesture of surrender. 

"Okay, okay." I watch as he scans the room for a moment before he bends to pick something up. A copy of The Bell Jar? "Okay, so, we did a murder and that's a crime." I nod slightly. I feel close to tears. "But, what if we made this, like, a suicide thing?" I look at him. 

"Like a suicide thing?" My voice comes out small and sad. He nods. 

"Right. After all adolescence is a period of life fraught with anxiety and confusion." I nod again, slightly firmer this time. "And, you can do Shiro's handwriting as well as your own, right?" 

"I... yeah." I get a notebook and pen from his desk and get ready to write. Lotor comes to stand behind me. 

"Think long and hard, conjure him up in your mind. What would he say? What would be his final words to a cold, uncaring planet?" I begin to write, reading out what I write. 

"You might think that what I've done is shocking..." I tap the pen on my chin, trying to think of the right words. Lotor suddenly speaks up and I begin to write what he says. 

"To me though, suicide is the natural answer to the myriad of problems life has given me." I pause and crane my neck back to see him. 

"That's good but Shiro wouldn't use the word 'myriad', he missed it on the vocabulary test last week." Lotor steps around so he's in front of me. He shrugs. 

"That just proves my point further. The word is... a badge for his failures at school. Work with me."

"Okay." I stop to think then continue to write. "People think that just because you're handsome and popular, life is easy and fun. Nobody understood that I had feelings too." Is that enough? Lotor speaks up again. 

"I die knowing no one knew the real me." I read through it then look back up at him. 

"This is good, you done it before?" In the corner of my vision I see Shiro and my mood drops. Lotor seems to notice. He takes the notebook out of my hand, carefully tears the page out and puts it next to the broken remains of the mug. He puts it back on the desk, takes my hand and leads me out of the room. 

Principal Kolivan sits round the table with the other teachers as they debate what to do. 

'Hey. Hi. I'm sorry. Technically I didn't kill Takashi Shirogane but hey, who am I trying to kid, right? I just... I just want my high school to be a nice place. Amen. Did that sound bitchy?'

Once outside I give Lotor a quick kiss before watching him ride away. As I walk down to the gate to meet Matt, I hear yelling. It's probably Rolo and Rax. Can't they take a break? I catch sight of Matt sitting in his car. I knock on the passenger side window and he grins at me. 

Later that night, after I've escaped Matt's fussing and clucking, I get a phone call. 

"Hello?" 

"Katie! Hey, I need your help. Can you come to the cemetery?" 

"What's wrong?" 

"Just hurry up please, it's an emergency."

"Yeah, okay." He hangs up. Why would Lance be in the cemetery in the first place? Whatever, I'd better go. 

When I get there, Lance is nowhere to be seen. I look around but all I see is someone passed out on the floor. As I get closer I see it's... 

"Rolo?" His eyes flutter open and he smirks at me. He whistles and Rax staggers over from where he was sitting at the tree line. He winks at me as he gets closer. 

"Hey Katie..." I glare at him.

"Ew. You've got a left hand, use it." They look at each other then back at me, pouting. 

"Don't talk mean like that."

"Yeah!" Rax smirks at me I'm a way I think is supposed to be flirtatious

"When I get that feeling, I need sexual healing..." I roll my eyes and step back. 

"Yeah right, asshole." 

"Feel like making..." Rolo hiccups. "Feel like making love." He's sitting on the ground. When I take another step he suddenly lunges and grabs onto my ankle. I kick him away with little effort. Gross. 

"Don't fucking touch me, dick." I pull a face. "Look, where's Lance?" Rax, who's slightly more sober looks confused. Suddenly, his face clears up. 

"Oh yeah, him. He was here earlier."

"Earlier?" He nods. 

"The girls who we were meant to be going on a date with ditched us but he said that he'd find someone else." I swallow. He... set me up for date-rape. Really? I shake my head and make a disgusted noise. I give them one more scornful glance before leaving. Their drunken cries and catcalls follow me all the way through the cemetery. 

Dear Diary, 

Close call last night. Shiro was the only person who could control Rax and Rolo but now he's dead. 

I turn as I see a flash of black out of the corner of my eye. Shiro is leaning against the locker next to me, reading over my shoulder. He shrugs. 

"You should have thought of that before you killed me." He says, voice quiet. He suddenly gags and doubles over, coughing. "Urgh. Thanks Katie. I'm going to be coughing up drain cleaner for eternity." I sigh. 

Technically I didn't kill Takashi Shirogane. I know that. But I still feel bad... 

Shiro gags again, making me look back up. He sees me looking and pulls a face. 

...but not as bad as I should. That makes me feel even worse. 

I see a flash of blue and red. I turn to see Lance and Keith going through Shiro's locker. I straighten my back and walk over there. I know that Shiro's following. 

"Oh hey Lance! I am really looking forward to that apology from you." Keith shakes his head. 

"We're cleaning out Shiro's locker. A little respect." Shiro snorts. 

"He wants to lead but he'll be terrible. This school'll go to shit with him at the head of it." He keeps going on and on until I snap. 

"Just shut up!" Keith turns to me. 

"No, you shut up! I don't have to shut up anymore." He pulls out Shiro's badge, the one with the black lion and holds it up to the light, admiring it. 

"...That's Shiro's badge." Lance's voice is small. Keith glares at him and pins it on himself. 

"Shut up Lance."

"Sorry Keith..." Keith looks at us both. 

"Voltron needs a leader. This whole school needs a leader. Shiro was that leader but now it's up to me to take his place." Shiro rolls his eyes and I share a quick, nervous glance with Lance. He shakes his head then smirks. 

"Shouldn't you be worrying more about your reputation?" I tilt my head to the side. 

"What do you mean?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lotor step over to us. Keith raises an eyebrow. 

"Rax and Rolo are going around and telling the whole school about your little threeway last night." I'm stunned into silence. Lotor steps over to us, his face a stony mask. 

"Threeway?" I shake my head quickly and step towards him. 

"No, no, no. There was no threeway. Nothing happened." Lance's smirk grows. 

"Really? Y'see I seem to recall them saying that there was a... big sword fight in your mouth." A preppy kid walking past us pauses. 

"She allowed that?" Lance smirks and gestures for Rolo and Rax to come over to us. They oblige. When they see me they smirk. I see Lotor stepping away, going slightly down the hall. They start listing things that we 'did' last night. A crowd of students surround us. I've finally had enough and I push through the crowds, over to Lotor. I looks at me, his arms crossed. Everyone is still talking about it. I look up at him, my eyes filled with tears. 

"...Lotor. I swear I didn't do any of that. Lance told me to go to the cemetery and they were just... waiting there." He scowls in the general direction of Lance before holding open his arms. I fall forwards and let his arms envelope me. He holds me tight as I slowly turn in his arms, facing the crowd. He rests his chin on my head and watches them with narrowed eyes. I see Rolo miming a blowjob and wince, my cheeks flushing. Lotor lets go of me and I look up at him, surprised. 

"...Lotor?" He glares and storms over there. He gets to Rolo and swings his fist straight at him. Rax tackles him, knocking him onto the floor. They take it in turns to kick him in the side, everyone jeering. I run forwards and push them away. 

"Stop it! Stop it!" They glare but, one-by-one, the students disperse, not wanting to get a teacher's attention. They glare at us as they pass, Lotor lying on the ground and me kneeling next to him. 

"Freak!" 

"Slut!"

"Punkass!" 

"Slag!" 

"Psycho!" 

"Whore!" Each insult is accompanied by a kick in my side. The bell goes and they all leave properly, going to their classrooms. Lotor groans and sits up on his elbows. 

"Are you okay?" He nods slightly. 

"Yeah. What about you?" I give him a shaky smile. 

"I'm fine. Amazing. Fantastic." Then I burst into tears. 

"They made you cry." My cheeks go pink and I look away, embarrassed. He shakes his head. "But that will end tonight. You are the only thing that's right about this broken world." My eyes widen and I turn back to look at him. He smiles softly at me. "Go on and cry but, when the morning comes, we'll burn the world down then build it back up." Suddenly he stands up, facing away from me. I look up at him. 

"Are you okay?" A quick shake of his head. 

"I was alone. I was... a frozen lake. But you... you melted me back awake." He turns and his eyes are shimmering. He lets out a wet sounding laugh. "See? Now I'm crying too." Lotor reaches out a hand. "You're not alone." I take it and stand, smiling softly at him. 

"You're not alone." His eyes widen a fraction then his face softens into a smile. 

"And, when the morning comes..."

"When the morning comes." He pulls me closer. 

"We'll burn away those tears and raise our city here." Lotor gestures around us with his free hand. I shake my head with a smile and grab onto his other hand. 

"We'll raise out city here." He smiles down at me. He presses a soft kiss against my lips. 

"Our love is God." I let out a soft gasp then smile. 

"Our love is God." He grins at me and kisses me again. 

"Hi, Rolo? Yeah, it's Katie. Katie Holt. Yeah, I didn't expect to be calling you either. I guess my emotions took over. I was wondering if you want all those things that you've been saying to really happen. It's always been a fantasy of mine to have two guys at once..." Lotor snorts and I shake my head, throwing a pillow at him. He catches it and throws it back. I grin. Rolo finishes blabbering on and I lower the tone of my voice. "Yeah. Meet me in the cemetery. At dawn. Don't forget Rax." I quickly hang up and smirk at Lotor. He grins back at me, a strange glint in his eyes. Lotor pulls out two guns and holds one out to me. I pull a face. 

"I still don't get the point of me writing a suicide note if we're just shooting them with blanks." Lotor looks up at me. 

"Well, that's because we're not shooting them with blanks." I drop the gun and stand up. 

"Look, my Bonnie and Clyde days are over." Lotor shakes his head and pulls me back onto the bed. 

"You took French right, not German?" I slowly nod. He flicks open the chamber of his gun and pulls out a bullet. "These are 'ich Lüge' bullets. My grandfather scored them in World War Two. They're almost identical to tranquillisers only they can break the skin, enough to draw a little blood, but they're not strong enough to do any lasting damage." I pause. 

"So the person looks like they've been shot and killed but they're actually just lying there, unconscious and bleeding?" Lotor nods then stands, pacing around the room. 

"We shoot Rolo and Rax. Make it look like they shot each other. By the time they regain consciousness, they'll be the laughing stocks of the school. The note's the punchline. How did that turn out?" I grab the note and a page ripped from one of Rax's workbooks. I hold both of them up to Lotor. 

"First, tell me that the similarity is not incredible." He smiles at me and when he answers, his voice is warm. 

"Incredible similarity." I grin then pull them back, reading out the note. 

"Rolo and I died the day we realised we could never reveal our forbidden love to an uncaring and ununderstanding world. The joy we shared in each other's arms was greater than any touchdown. Yet we were forced to live the lie of sexist, beer-guzzling, jock assholes." He smiles at me. 

"Exquisite, but I don't think 'ununderstanding' is a word." I shrug. 

"We don't want people thinking that they were too secretly eloquent." I pause and bite at the pad of my thumb before speaking up. "...Why would the Germans invent a bullet that doesn't kill people? I mean, this was World War Two, not a school play." The speed of his pacing increases as he speaks.

"They used them on themselves to make it look like they were dead. Really quite a brilliant device, but too flamboyant to seriously produce." I grin. 

"Neat. Let's try it out on Bae Bae." I pick up the gun that was still lying on my duvet and point it at the dog that had just ambled it's way into my room. Lotor suddenly rips the gun out of my hands. 

"It... it doesn't work on small animals. The dosage is too high."

"Oh." Lotor suddenly grabs the bag that he had dumped by my bed earlier. 

"Hey, let's look at the homosexual artifacts I dug up to plant at the scene." He tips the bag over and the contents pour out onto my duvet. He sits back down and begins sifting through the items. "An issue of Stud Puppy, a candy dish, a Joan Crawford postcard and some mascara." He pauses then reaches into the pockets of his coat. He pulls out two bottles of... 

"Mineral water?" He nods and I grin. "Oh come on. A lot of people drink mineral water nowadays, it's come a long way." Lotor shrugs. 

"Yeah, well, this is Ohio. I mean, if you're not holding a brewsky, you're basically wearing a dress." I roll my eyes then lower my voice. 

"Oh, you're so smart. How about a little heterosexuality before we go?" He laughs and pulls me against him. 

"I suppose I could manage that..."

A tense Rax and an excited Rolo, playing air guitar, walk through the misty parking lot towards the woods. 

"Sex and drugs and HBO is all I ever need! Whoa! Can you hear me? Hello Tokyo. I said sex and drugs and-" 

"Shut the fuck up, all right." Rax snaps, cutting Rolo off. Rolo shakes his head. 

"Lighten up dude. In those woods is some of the finest pussy in the school and we don't even have to buy it a burger and coke. What a way to start the day! Punch it in!" Rax feebly bumps fists with Rolo. 

I stand in the clearing, twisting my hands in front of me and rocking backwards and forwards on my heels. I hear the crunching of leaves and I watch as Rolo bounds into the clearing, Rax trailing behind him. Rolo winks at me. 

"Hey Katie." I force a smile. 

"Hey guys. Glad you could make it." Rolo smacks his hands together. 

"So, do we just start fucking?" I mentally gag. 

"Well, I've made a circle on each end of the clearing. Rax, you stay there. Rolo, you go over there." I point and Rolo walks over, shrugging at Rax as he does. 

"Now what?" I smile. 

"Strip for me." They pause, then slowly start taking off their clothes. Rolo pauses again. 

"What about you." I swallow then force my lips back into a smile. 

"I was hoping you'd rip my clothes off me, sport." Rolo grins over at Rax who smiles awkwardly back. 

"Yeah, okay. Good idea." They both stand in their underwear, shivering slightly. 

"Count of three, guys." Rolo nods, grinning. "One." Rax finally cracks a smile. I slowly reach behind me. "Two." Lotor suddenly moves next to me, pointing a gun at Rolo. I pull out mine, pointing it at Rax. 

"Three." Lotor shoots Rolo in the forehead and I shoot at Rax. He manages to step out of the way and he runs off. Lotor turns to me. "You stay here, I'll bring him back round." He runs off, chasing after Rax. I hear Rax yelling. 

"Why are you chasing me?" I turn and kneel by Rolo. I shake him by the shoulders. 

"Rolo? Rolo! You're just unconscious, right?" 

"Why are you chasing me? I was just kidding about the Bo Diddley thing!" I sit back on my heels, feeling nauseous. Rolo doesn't look bleeding and unconscious. He looks bleeding and dead, dead, dead. I hear a noise and I watch as Rax comes barrelling into the clearing. Lotor, weaving through the trees, howls at me. 

"Now!" In a burst of frightened, animal instinct, I whip around and fire my gun right into Rax's chest. He falls down, dead. There's no point trying to pretend anymore. They're both dead. 

I'm going steady and, mostly, he's awesome. Just a bit too rock and roll. So far, he's bumped off three of my classmates. God, please have mercy on my soul. They were only seventeen, they still had room to grow. And, they could have turned out good but I guess now we'll never know. 

I'm curled up in the front seat of Lotor's car. He left to see if the coast is clear. I jump as the door opens and relax only slightly when I see it's Lotor. He sits next to me and digs into the inside pocket of his coat. He pulls out two cigarettes and a lighter. I take the proffered items and flick open the lighter. I stare at the flame for a moment before closing my hand over it. I almost immediately cry out in shock. Lotor grabs my hand. There's a red mark on my palm. He grabs one of the cigarettes and lights it on my hand. I let out a wail. 

"Ich Lüge bullets! I'm such an idiot!" Lotor drags on his cigarette as the school buses start to pull in. I glare sullenly at him and light mine, taking a drag. Finally he sighs. 

"Look, you believed it because you wanted to believe it. Your true feelings were too... gross and icky for you to face." I glare at him. 

"I did not want them dead!" He raises an eyebrow at me. 

"Did too."

"Did not!" 

"Did too."

"Did not." He sighs and puts a hand over my mouth. 

"Look, did they make you cry?" I narrow my eyes. "Did they?" I nod. "And can they make you cry now?" I slowly shake my head. He takes his hand away, a self-satisfied look on his face. I glare. 

"No, but you can." He shakes his head, amused. 

"Just wait until you see the good that comes of this." I shake my head. 

"No good could possibly come from this." He smiles and presses a quick kiss against my forehead. 

"Call me an optimist."

Mr. Balmera stands over an open coffin that holds the body of Rax Balmera. 

"If there's any way you can hear me, Rax, buddy, I don't care that you really were some pansy. You're my flesh-and-blood. You made me proud. I love my homosexual son. My son's gay and I love him!" There's a smattering of applause at that. I lean closer to Lotor and whisper to him. 

"Your son's dead and you love him." He snorts. 

"How do you think he would react to a son with a limp wrist and a pulse?" I softly giggle at that. I look up to see Shay Balmera looking at me, wearing a familiar looking knitted jumper and her face covered in tears. I feel the smile slip from my face, replaced by a nauseated grimace and guilt gnawing at my gut. 

We're curled up on my bed, a bottle of Vodka between us. Lotor suddenly sniffs the air, making me raise an eyebrow at him. 

"What is that? That smell in the air- is that tolerance? Inclusion, love, how often can you say it's a good day to live in Sherwood, Ohio! You're welcome town!" I glare at him and swat at his arm. 

"Hey... you don't have to be so smug about it." He smiles down at me. 

"Your love keeps me humble." He leans down to kiss me but I pull away. He shrugs and pulls me closer. "So, who's next? Lance? Keith? They added fire to those three-way rumors." I push him. 

"No! No, I do not accept this, we've already killed three people, this ends right now!" 

"Or what?" 

"Or... I'll break up with you." He furrows his brow. 

"Look, every war has casualties. That doesn't mean that it's not worth fighting. What, you'd rather go to jail? And give a free pass to the thugs who hurt people? Evil fucks that make life so unbearable that you can't stand to live in the world anymore!" I put a hand on his arm. 

"Lotor... how did your mother die?" He looks down at my hand. 

"Do you really wanna know?" I nod and he sighs, standing up. "My dad said it was an accident. But... she knew what she was doing. She walked into that building two minutes before my dad blew it up. She waved at me out of the window and then... ka-boom. She was gone." I let out a breath of air. 

"I'm... really sorry." He smiles sadly at me.

"It's okay. The pain gives me clarity. You and I are special, we have a lot of work to do." I stand and step closer to him. 

"What work?" There's a slightly crazed look in his eyes as he answers. ''We're making the world a decent place for people who are decent!"

"But when does it end!?" He spins around and grips my shoulders, his knuckles turning white. 

"When every asshole is dead!" He spits. I tense and his face softens. He lets go of me and steps back. 

"Fine. Okay. We're damaged. Really damaged but that doesn't make us wise. We're not special. We're not different. We can't choose who lives and who dies!" He scoffs at that and turns around, his back to me. "Please, let's just be normal! See bad movies. Sneak a beer and watch TV! We could bake brownies, or go bowling! Don't you want a life with me?" He tenses. I step forward and place my hand on his shoulder. "Can't we just be seventeen? That's all I want to be. If you could just let me in. I could be good with you." His shoulders drop slightly. "I know that people hurt us-" 

"Or they vanish." His voice is small. I smile sadly at his back.

"Yeah, and you're right, it really blows. But just remember that we let go." He turns and smiles, softly. 

"Take a deep breath." 

"We'll go and buy some summer clothes. We can go camping."

"Play some poker?" 

"Yeah, and eat some chilli fries. Maybe prom night?" 

"Maybe dancing?" 

"Just please don't stop looking in my eyes." I beg him. 

"Your eyes..." He's still smiling at me. He pulls me into an embrace before pulling back slightly and spinning me.

"Can't we be seventeen? Is that really so hard to do? If you could just let me in, I could be good with you! Just let us be seventeen, if we can still have that right." We've stopped, holding each other like a drowning man clutching a life preserver. 

"So what's it gonna be? I wanna be with you tonight!" 

"I want to be with you tonight!" 

"Yeah, we're damaged..." He cups my face in one of his hands, lifting up my face so we're eye-to-eye. 

"...badly damaged." His voice is soft, sweet. 

"But your love's too good to loose."

"Please hold me tighter." I whisper it so quietly but he still hears and obliges. 

"Even closer..."

"I promise I'll stay if I'm what you choose." I say softly, I doubt he hears. 

"Can't we just be seventeen?" 

"If I am what you choose..." I step out of his embrace, staring just above his shoulder. I can see his face, confused, out of the corner of my eye. He reaches out his hand and softly grasps my elbow. 

"If we can still have the right!" 

"'cause you're the one I choose..." I whisper, closing my eyes. I can hear the soft exhale from his lips. I've surprised him. 

"You're the one I choose!" He kisses my forehead and I open my eyes. He's staring down at me as if I'm the only thing in the world. He once again closes the gap between us, he's so close, I can feel every breath he takes. He leans in even more.

"You're the one I choose..." We both whisper the last sentence, our faces almost touching, his nose brushing against mine. He pulls me in, closing the last few millimetres between us. He presses his lips against mine and bends me backwards. Sweeping me off my feet. 

"You think it all goes back to normal? Don't give me that wounded look, you know exactly what he is and you love it." I glare at him. 

"Stop talking." He shrugs at me. 

"Only a true dead best friend would give it to you straight." 

"Question, why couldn't you have said this last night?" He pulls a face. 

"Please. Like I want to be around for that." I roll my eyes and slam my locker shut. I see a flash of yellow and I turn to see Hunk walking over to me. He looks like he's been crying.

"Pidge... what are you doing here?" 

"I'm... going to class." 

"H- haven't you heard? School's been cancelled because of Allura and Shay." I drop my books. 

"...What do you mean, 'Allura and Shay'?!" Hunk pauses, then explains, voice soft. 

"You... haven't heard? They killed themselves in a joint suicide last night, copying Rolo and Rax." 

"I... don't understand." I feel like I should be crying. Why am I not crying? Hunk's still talking. 

"-also in a 'repressed homosexual relationship'. But it doesn't make sense-" 

"Hunk. How... how do you know this?" 

"Oh, last night... last night Allura left a voicemail on my phone. I thought she would have called you too." I swallow noisily. 

"I was kinda... preoccupied last night so I wouldn't have heard my phone ring." Hunk shrugs. 

"Well, you should check. Just in case." He looks like he's about to cry. I just feel... empty I suppose. Hunk sniffles and dissappears down the corridor. I sink to the floor and bury my head in my hands. I hear a snort and I lift my head. 

"What?" Shiro shrugs. 

"Nothing, just... doesn't it seem suspicious. Another two suicides." I shake my head. 

"No." Shiro raises an eyebrow and I glare. "Lotor promised. Besides, he wouldn't use a double suicide twice in a row, especially not for the same reason. Plus, Allura left a voicemail." He shrugs again. 

"Whatever. Just pointing it out."

 You have one new message. 

"Now now. Lance, you're in a safe environment. Feel free to share!" Lance takes a deep breath and Keith takes a half-step forwards.

"Lance, get back in line." Mr. Smythe glares at him.

"Quiet, Keith." He turns and smiles encouragingly at Lance who swallows then begins to speak.

"My best friend seemed to have it all together but now he's gone. And now my stomach hurts worse and worse, and every morning I'm on the bus I feel my heart beating louder and faster and I'm like 'Jesus, I'm on the freaking bus again because all my rides to school are dead'." He pauses, then his words start tumbling out, faster and faster. "I'm failing math. My whole life is a mess. And it's... it's like I'm in this tiny lifeboat in a storm. And it full of people who are fighting to stay on. And... it's like if I say the wrong thing or- or wear the wrong outfit, I'll get thrown over the side. And I'm sitting, hugging my knees, and the captain is pointing." He glances at Keith as he says this. "But who made him captain? But, still, the weakest must go I guess. So... I guess I have to jump off." Silence. Lance stares at the ground cheeks red. Keith steps up to Lance and glares. 

"What's your damage, Lance? Are you saying the Garrison isn't a nice place?" Mr. Smythe takes a step forwards. 

"Keith-" 

"Where's your school spirit? You don't deserve to wear our school colours." People start to close in on Lance and Mr. Smythe tries to push Keith away. 

"Don't be mean spirited-" 

"Why don't you hop into your little lifeboat and catch a gnarly wave over to Remington?" 

"Knock it off, let's settle down. Settle down." Nyma laughs. 

"Awww, Lance is going to cry." There's laughter and Lance turns, running out of the room. Mr. Smythe turns on Keith. 

"Young man, you are suspended! Turn the cameras off." He turns and waves his hands at the cameras. "Turn them off, god damn it." I glare. 

"Is that all you care about? Tv cameras?" Lotor places a warning hand on my shoulder. I shake him off. Mr. Smythe glares back. 

"I care about saving lives! Keith Kogane ruined a valuable teaching!" I snort. 

"Valuable?" I make a sweeping gesture. "None of us want this spectacle, to be experimented on like guinea pigs and- and patronized like bunny rabbits!" I see Shiro standing near Keith. Mr. Smythe gasps. 

"I don't patronize bunny rabbits!" Shiro sighs.

"This is their big secret Pidge, the adults are powerless." I take another, small step, my voice getting louder. 

"Lance trusted you. You said that you would protect him." 

"They can't help us. Nobody can help us." Another step. 

"You're useless." 

"We're alone in the ocean." A step. 

"And all of you are idiots." Lotor, just behind me, lowers his voice. 

"You should sit down now." I bat his words away like flies. I sigh. 

"No, Shiro was a monster, just like Rolo and Rax, and they didn't kill themselves, I killed them!" I let out a small gasp. I step back. Shiro raises an eyebrow at me. I shrug and lower my voice. "So what do you all think of that?" They laugh. All the students minus myself and Lotor laugh. My face flushes slightly. 

"Some people will say anything if they think it'll make them popular." Someone yells from the crowd. I turn and run, following the same path as Lance. 

"Katie!" 

"I don't deserve to live." Lotor snorts. 

"I respectfully... respectfully disagree." He steps forwards. "Give it to me." I flinch and step back. 

"Stay away from me." He stumbles and both of us fall to the ground. I'm still clutching the bomb, knuckles white. Lotor looks over at me. 

"Or what?" I pause and he smiles sadly. "I... I am damaged." He lets out a laugh. "Far too damaged. But... you're not beyond repair. You should... stick around down here, make things better. After all, you did beat me fair and square." Slowly, he shuffles over to me and pries the bomb from my grip. He forces himself to stand and limps away from me, holding the bomb tight. He gives me a soft, half-smile. "Please... please stand back now." I struggle to my feet and take a small step back. He snorts, looking at the ground. "A little further." I comply and Lotor's shoulders drop with relief. "I... don't know what this thing will do..." He looks up, tears dripping off his chin and a smile on his face. He takes another step back and I mirror the action. "I hope you'll miss me." I swallow noisily, tears gathering in my eyes. He smiles sadly at me. "I wish you'd kiss me and then... and then you'd know that I worship you." I let out a choked sob, tears making my vision blur. "I'll trade my life for yours-" I can't stem the flow of tears.

"Oh my God-" 

"And once I disappear-" I go to step forward but Lotor steps back, holding up one of his hands to stop me.  

"Wait! Hold on-" 

"Clean up the mess down here!" 

"Not this way!" I furiously wipe my eyes, drinking in the sight of Lotor before me, committing his face to memory. He seems to be doing the same. He smiles lopsidedly at me. 

"...Our love is God." I swallow, holding myself back from running straight over to him. I take one last look at him and smile softly, tears running down my face. Lotor must see it in my eyes and he smiles back, an apology in his face. 

"Say hi to God." I turn and sink to the ground, curling myself up into a ball and I let myself cry. I hear Lotor sigh softly. Then... everything goes black.