Chapter Text
“Aww, but why can't we come?”
“You know very well why only Flug and I are going, Dementia!”, Black Hat said, throwing a rather heavy-looking suitcase into the doctor's arms. His knees wobbled under the weight, but he stood his ground. 5.0.5 whimpered and, with concern written all over his face, tried to take the luggage from his poor friend. However, Flug shook his head and continued to carry it on his own, perhaps thinking that his boss would punish the bear for allowing him to ‘slack off’.
“You're much too… yourself to be seen anywhere outside of the house," Black Hat continued. “Besides, someone could end up recognizing you and then they'd start asking questions.” He scowled and adjusted the strap of a handbag that was about fifteen times lighter than Flug's burden.
Dementia considered this for a moment and giggled. Being someone who knew BH like the back of her partially gloved hand, she could tell with one hundred percent accuracy what he was doing.
“Oh, I get it~”, she purred, playfully twirling the locks of her ponytail. “You just want me aaaall to yourself.” The lizard girl threw in a wink for a romantic effect.
“Well, if you’re totally sure you can survive a week without this…”
Here, she gestured to her entire body.
“...I’ll stay here. Just try not to have too much fun without me, ‘kay?” Dementia blew a kiss in Black Hat's general direction and grinned, showing off her unnaturally sharp fangs.
Black Hat must have been in a bad mood or something because he didn't look to be sharing any of his employee’s enthusiasm or returning her subtle affections. Instead, he grimaced and took a few steps back.
“Rest assured, we're not going to have fun of any sort," the demon replied drily. “This is a professional business trip. They're always dull as dirt and half as memorable.”
“I-I wouldn't say that sir,” Flug piped up in a strained voice. “We've- oh, geez- had a few- so heavy- happy memories before.” His eyelids curved upwards in a slight smile.
Black Hat simply scoffed and folded his arms. Dementia's interest, by contrast, was piqued.
“Ooh! Where ya goin’ this time? Somewhere awesome? Can you guys bring back a souvenir?”, she asked, eager to add to the shelves upon shelves of figurines and novelty clothes that lined her bedroom.
“Company funds are not meant to be squandered on bloody knick-knacks!”, Black Hat snapped. “We'll only spend what has to be spent. A villains’ get-together is no place for impulse buying.”
He glared pointedly at Dr. Flug, who was known to sneak merchandise for his co-workers whenever he had to go anywhere. His not-so-secret operations had given him plenty of (albeit temporary) respect from Dementia, and several fluffy bear hugs from 5.0.5.
Of course, Black Hat was far from pleased, but he didn't do anything as long as it came from the doctor's paycheck. Now, Flug expected that if he used money from anywhere else…
Then Black Hat would have to remind his minion why he was the head of the organization.
The scientist was much too preoccupied with handling his monster-sized suitcase to be more fearful of his boss than usual, though. Dementia flashed him a thumbs up to wish him luck. He was gonna need it if he planned on going against Black Hat's wishes.
The demon cleared his throat, although it sounded more like animalistic growling.
“If we're done here, Flug and I need to leave. If we stick around much longer, I believe our poor doctor will collapse like a house of cards. Then I'd have to carry everything myself," he said, turning toward the doorway and beckoning his subordinate to follow.
Relieved beyond all measure that the subject had been changed and he could finally get moving, Flug made his way to the front door. After a couple of steps, the rhythmic clacking of expensive footwear beside him abruptly ended. The doctor looked to his left, gasping in surprise and dismay as Black Hat twisted his head 180 degrees to meet Dementia's eyes, his body unmoving.
“Ah, right. I almost forgot,” he began casually as if he’d just remembered that he left the tap running and didn't look like a car crash victim.
There was a whoosh of air and Dementia found herself mere inches from her boss’s face. She beamed at first, but then shrank back when she noticed his mangled, tooth-covered form.
“If I come back and you've damaged any part of the mansion," he hissed, “any harm you idiots will have caused will be inflicted upon you tenfold. Am I clear?”
Dementia shuddered, feeling the warning reverberate through her skull like one of her many jam sessions. Even she wasn't above being a little intimidated by Black Hat. She was human, after all.
Well, more or less, anyway.
She gathered her wits and managed a small nod. There was a sickening visceral noise followed by the twisting and molding of flesh. In the blink of an eye, the demon was back to his handsome self, much to Dementia's delight.
“Of course, the bear will be around to keep you out of trouble. At least he's not a failure in that respect," Black Hat muttered, strolling back to the door.
If 5.0.5 registered any of that, Dementia couldn't tell. He was still in shock from before, eyes wide and flower wilted.
At the first sign of movement, Flug had wisely bolted outside before his boss could change his mind. Black Hat rolled his eye but didn't make any snide remarks at his subordinate’s expense.
“Enjoy your week of isolation~”, he called over his shoulder.
WHOMP.
The door slammed shut, and then the mansion was filled with deafening silence.