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Ben lifted the pistol in his hands and checked to see if the hammer was in position. The movement was hasty, compulsive. He wondered if the others could see, if they could read the tension in every line of him. They looked to him to lead them, to take control and handle everything. Today he staggered beneath their expectation. He felt like a child, ignorant and unprepared. Ben felt his muscles tightening painfully. Terror crept into the recesses of the usual apprehension, blurring his mind’s eye.
He had Caleb, safe, if not unharmed. It had not been hours yet since Ben pulled him across the trace and now they were fighting for their lives again and Ben didn’t know how it would end. They never knew, going into a fight, who would live or die. The judge was gone, no one could have known. Abe was out there, carrying fresh grief with the pistols he bore. He might not make it. But now Ben needed to know. He needed to know that he wouldn’t lose Caleb again—not yet. Not so soon.
Caleb sat hunched just to Ben’s right, and Ben fancied he could feel the pain in every ragged breath Caleb drew in.
Ben spoke now, in a burst, trying to relieve the strain in his body:
“He must be in position by now, eh?”
Caleb must have heard the tone in his voice because Ben saw his head snap up as he spoke. He looked to Caleb and saw that familiar expression—like Caleb could see right into him, read every one of his thoughts. Ben wondered for the thousandth if he really could. Caleb’s nod was quick, affirming.
Ben looked away. His mind reviewed every detail of their plan once more. He processed every possible mistake, everything that could go wrong. He heaved a sigh, trying to clear these anxieties from his head.
“You ready?” He asked, laboring to keep his voice calm.
Caleb didn’t answer until Ben looked at him. A smile crept into the lines around Caleb’s tired eyes. It chased away bits of the terror, the muscles across Ben’s back eased a little.
“Always.”
Firm, clear. It held assurance, comfort. Ben pressed his lips together to keep back the flood of all he wanted to say. He bent and Caleb’s arm extended to him. Ben helped him to his feet and tried not to feel the pain.
Havens came up beside them as they stepped closer to the barn door. Caleb’s hand lingered on Ben’s back for a moment as they pulled apart. Ben’s mind cleared. He didn’t need to know how it would end. He was ready, too.