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Livvy was gone and the institute was heavy with grief. Ty wouldn't come out of his room, as for the others they busied themselves with their own issues trying to mourn in their own way. How could they not worry about him the most! Livvy was his twin!
I waited outside the old wooden door listening in to Ty's room. I could hear a light moaning and tapping noises. Knocking at the door lead to nothing so I decided I was going to be rude. Opening the door I saw Ty was on his bed clenching his hands open and closed snaking his lips in tears. Running over to the side of the bed I jumped infront of him cross legged and grabbed his hands, I copied he soothing motions I had seen his sister do on him before.
"Ty it's ok I'm here just tell me what you need and I'll do it."
"Bring her back. Can you bring her back?"
"I can't do that, I would if I could Ty."
"Who is going to help me when things get to hard? I'm all alone."
"No you are not Ty we are all right here for you."
"Everyone is ignoring me because of their own sadness. My being weird just makes them more frustrated right now."
His face was heart breaking.
"That's kind of true but they just don't know how to handle you."
"Livvy did."
"Yes she did. But I have experience with this so I'm going to be the one to help you now."
"Experience with what?"
"My best friend growing up was like you. He was autistic."
"What does that mean?"
"Well in the mundane world it means you are wired different. Not wired wrong don't get that mixed up! Just different."
"Is it a disease? Can I be cured? Be normal like everyone else?"
"Why in earth would you want to be like everyone else. Why would you want to be so boring. You get to see things that others will never get to see. You get to experience things with more emotion and compassion than anyone around you. That's a gift Ty, don't give that up."
"How did you know your friend had it and wasn't just weird?"
"He was a lot like you. Liked routine. To many noises got to him. No eye contact. I had to warn him before I touched him until he trusted me. Super heroes. Superheroes and Greek mythology were his hyper focus. A lot like your thing with bugs and detective work. See people like you make great detectives because you can see things others don't."
Ty was still clenching his hands but around mine. The popping noise from his mouth stopped but he was still pressing his lips together hard.
"Why did you leave him?"
"What? I didn't leave him Ty he moved away."
"Do mundanes do that a lot? Move?"
"Yeah I guess they do."
"Are you going to leave me?"
"No, not anymore. I was going to but I changed my mind. A lot like when you decided not to go into scholomance. "
Ty's face was starting to return to normal color. His face really was stunning. Eyes storm grey and glassy. Red rimmed at the moment but still amazing to look at.
"Ty I know I can't replace Livvy. But I can step in for her when you need it. Whatever you need. I won't think you are weird and I don't think you are being rude when you are blunt about a question or a notion. In fact I think it's funny."
"You like to laugh at me."
"No I mean I laugh because you say things we all wish we could say. We can't say then because something in our mind tells us not to. You on the other hand don't have that voice telling you to shut your trap."
"I wish I did."
"Don't. I like that you make me laugh."
"I think you are funny to. I know I don't always laugh but I do."
"I know. Your lips quirk up at the sides when I say something stupid."
"I want to calm down but I'm having issues."
"How are your stims right now?"
"Stim's?"
"Like how im rubbing your hands right now. Like how you asked me to hold you that one time. The reason you wear headphones. Those are stims to calm yourself."
"You know a lot about this autism thing don't you?"
"I read a lot on it with my friend. I wanted to be able to be his friend. See my dad never really let me go to school to long because I had the sight. Kids thought I was crazy. But there was this kid at the shadow market I was allowed to play with. He was my best friend with it. Since we only had eachother I made sure I could play with him and keep him comfortable."
"Because you were afraid of losing him?"
"Yes."
"I'm afraid of losing you."
"Don't be. In fact if you want I can be your parabatai to prove I'm not going anywhere."
"No!" He shouted.
"Oh I'm sorry I know you and livvy had that argument a lot. I also know you were about to finally give in after she got hurt. I'm just saying I want you to know I'm serious. That I won't leave you."
"That's not why I said no."
"Why did you say no?"
"Can we try a different "stim"?
"Sure what did you need me to do?"
"Get close to my face."
I sat up on my knees and was an inch from his face. I could smell his shampoo and it made me a little dizzy. Ty swallowed audibly. My heart race got faster the longer I stayed near his face.
"I would like you to put your lips on my lips."
"Like a kiss?"
"Yes."
"What is it with you blackthorns asking to be kissed?"
"What?"
"Never mind it's not important. Ok."
I leaned in and pressed my lips against his. At first it was like both of us just playing statue. Not moving. Just breathing against eachother while touching our lips. I won't lie... even the statue thing was thrilling. Slowly Ty began to put more and more pressure into the kiss. I moved my lips against his as he increased his motion. As chaste as the motion was it was intense. More intense than other kisses I've had with girls and I wasn't even using my tongue.
Breaking a part a little breathless on both our parts he looked at me sideways.
"Are you ok? I mean, are you freaked out or confused or anything?"
"No I'm not confused. I just really enjoyed that stim. Also I'm a little sad over it."
"Why?"
"Because it didn't just calm me down it made me happy and I shouldn't be happy right now."
"Ty it's ok to enjoy a kiss while being sad."
"Ok."
"So ummm yeah... I enjoyed it to. I never really thought about kissing a boy but I liked your kiss."
"I like kissing you."
"Well good. I'll make sure to keep that in mind if you need me to do it again."
"I need you to do it again."
"Ok."
I leaned in to kiss him again. This time we melted into eachother. Less statue more comfortable. I could feel tears falling from his eyes. Pulling away I brushed his onyx hair out of his eyes.
"I didn't mean to make you cry Ty."
"You didn't I just.. just keep kissing me. Please? I... I just need this right now."
"Of course."
Wrapping my arms around his torso I squeezed him hard like I did last time. I kept my lips against his as he let tears rolled down his striking face.
Finding comfort in eachother after tragedy.