Chapter Text
Mika woke up with a sharp pang of remorse and with the ghost of a name in the tip of his tongue. He blinked once, twice, and realized with a soft gasp that there were tears on his eyes, and upon touching his face, he felt the line of tears that had dried up before he woke up.
Again. That boy had appeared in his dreams again.
Mika sighed, in an effort to calm himself down, and ran his fingers through his hair. He shouldn’t have been surprised, considering all the times he had dreamt with the same boy since he was little, but this time, he felt that something else had happened, but couldn’t tell what.
Dark, unruly hair and big green eyes, and a smile that had a warmth that rivaled the sun.
Mika got up of his bed and went to wash his face. He stared back at his own reflection, eyes red with tears. Why had he been crying in his sleep?
One of Mika’s first recollections of the boy was when he was 8 years old. He had been dreaming of puppies, and suddenly this boy appeared as well, laughing and playing with some of the dogs. His laughter was very clear and happy, and Mika felt himself attracted to it. When the other boy noticed Mika, he turned to him, smiled brightly and held a hand for him to take.
Mika finished washing his face and went to change his clothes. He caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and saw that he still looked like he was going to cry in any minute, and thanked the gods he lived alone. He wouldn’t have wanted anyone to see him like this.
Mika cried in horror when he came back home and saw that his family had been killed, and was much more horrified when he saw vampires still preying on the corpses. He ran away, and was able to lose them momentarily because he knew his house better than the monsters. However, he was soon found by a green-eyed vampire, who stared at him for a few seconds before grabbing him in bridal style and took him where the other vampires were. Mika was so scared he couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. He was going to die. But he never expected the vampire that held him to say,
“We’re keeping this one alive.”
Mika looked up and saw that the vampire was smiling at him.
“You’ll be ok. I’m protecting you.”
He didn’t know what possessed him, but in that instant he knew he could trust this vampire, so he just held to him and nodded.
Mika didn’t have an appetite and skipped breakfast. He felt he was going to throw up if he forced something down, anyway. He still looked horrible, but he couldn’t afford to skip classes. This was his last year at university and couldn’t mess up now, especially with the strict professor Bathory.
They were running as fast as the wind and laughing merrily. They shouldn’t have been, because they were on a job and people were suffering and they were supposed to be helping them, but they didn’t care. It was always so much fun to do things together, but things always got way too amusing when they hunted monsters as a pair. And today, they got a big mission! To kill a dragon!
“Hey, Mika!” said the green-eyed boy, grabbing his sword and flashing a smile. “I’m counting on you to watch my back!”
“Pft, like if I didn’t have to keep your ass out of trouble all the time, xxxxxxxx!”
“Don’t get cocky with me now! Let’s do it!”
The black-haired boy leaped into action at once, without waiting for Mika’s reply. The blond sighed and quickly casted a reinforcement spell around the other boy before he also grabbed his sword.
Mika took his bag and went to his university. Although still a bit shaky, he tried to ignore it and blasted music through his audiphones to distract himself. He supposed he could calm down in his way to his first class, hopefully. He left home early, so he was crossing his fingers to be lucky enough to get a seat in the back row far away from professor Bathory to avoid his nasty comments. It was always awful to arrive to the classroom 20 minutes early and find out that all the back seats were already occupied. Fuck Ferid Bathory and his weird remarks.
Mika looked at himself in the mirror. His blue eyes were no more, and were replaced by red eyes, crimson and full of blood. He hated this. He was now a monster.
“Mika!”
He turned and saw the familiar green eyes, clouded with worry. But he was not a boy anymore, he was a teenager like him and had grown a little bit more muscular. His military uniform matched his eyes and Mika couldn’t help but to smile.
“xxxxxxxx….”
“Mika, stop doing that.”
“Stop doing… what?”
“That, hating yourself.”
Mika blinked in confusion, and the other teen sighed.
“You think that because you are now a vampire, you are a monster. That everyone hates you. But let me tell what! That’s bullshit. You are Mika and no one will ever be able to change that.”
“Sorry, what?”
“No matter what you become, we’re family, Mika, and we’ll always be together.”
It sounded stupid, childish even, but it made Mika smile anyways.
Mika arrived at his classroom and saw with relief that there was one seat available in the back row, but didn’t risk it and ran to it. He sat down and leaned his head on the table, feeling emotionally and physically tired. He wasn’t the only one, though: the whole classroom felt gloomy, and Mika knew what was everyone thinking. If professor Bathory’s classes weren’t compulsory and, to everyone’s dismay, useful, no one would be sitting there and withstand the eccentric teacher’s tales when he was done teaching the required topics for the day.
The window was slightly open and a cool breeze gently swayed the curtains. Mika was softly humming in the rocking chair, enjoying the warmth that came with spring and the smell of the flowers that were growing in the garden outside their house.
A door opened and closed somewhere nearby, and Mika opened his eyes to see his green-eyed lover. They smiled at each other and the black-haired adult quietly approached him. He kissed Mika’s forehead before also kissing their baby, who had been sleeping in Mika’s arms, but was gently awoken by the kiss. The baby had soft black hair, and striking cerulean eyes, which shone in delight upon seeing his father come back.
Professor Bathory arrived on time as usual and started the class in his sing-song voice, making some students wince. Mika straighten himself and tried paying attention to class, but his mind kept going back to the boy in his dreams.
They were in a secluded hut, arguing. Mika was scared, he knew he was the only one who could stop the green-eyed teen before he destroyed the world, and even though he had prepared the necessary words, upon meeting him his mind went blank.
‘If I don’t do this right, not only is the world doomed, but xxxxxxxx will die…’
“xxxxxxxx! You don’t have to do this!”
“I need to, Mika. I am the only one who can make a better world.”
“A BETTER WORLD? What you are doing will destroy it! Who would enjoy this better world you speak of if everyone dies in the process!?”
The black-haired teen’s eyes went big in confusion, and after a few seconds he gently smiled.
“For us, Mika… I’m making a world where we can be together.”
Mika felt his throat make a weird sound and felt his eyes grow big.
“This world…” the green-eyed teen continued, speaking softly. “This world won’t let us be together. My parents, this rotten society… I’ll end those. And then we can be together forever…”
“xxxxxxxx, that’s—”
“I love you, Mika.”
Mika felt a tear running down his cheek.
The other teen gently wiped Mika’s tears and tenderly kissed him in the lips. The blond, albeit surprised, closed his eyes to enjoy the moment, as he had also loved him dearly and never thought his feelings were reciprocated. But suddenly, he felt dizzy, and when he opened his eyes, he saw those beautiful green eyes looking down on him.
“I’m sorry, Mika… You understand, don’t you?”
And Mika realized he had been somehow drugged and lost consciousness, not before whispering the boy’s name, like it was the most sacred thing in existence.
Sudden movement and noises distracted Mika, who realized with a start that the class had finished and everyone was leaving the classroom. The blond sighed when he noticed that he hadn’t taken any notes today and prayed that professor Bathory hadn’t said anything important.
Mika was crying in the doorframe, and his tears wouldn’t stop flowing. He tried blinking to clear his vision, and was met with sad emerald eyes.
“Mika, don’t cry.”
“B-But—!”
“Please.”
“Then don’t leave!”
“I have to.”
“Don’t leave me alone, xxxxxxxx!”
The black-haired teen smiled sadly and gently cupped Mika’s face.
“Good bye, Mika.”
Without waiting for a reply, as always, he turned his back on Mika and walked away.
“No, xxxxxxxx! Don’t go!”
Mika ran after the fading back, his hand stretched as much as he could, his voice screaming until it was so sore he thought he wouldn’t be able to talk anymore, but there was no one in front of him anymore.
“xxxxxxxx…”
The last cry somehow was still echoing in his mind, but he couldn’t recall what he was screaming at the time. His head started to hurt, and Mika decided he could afford to ditch his next class and went to the benches near his faculty to rest.
He has had dreams with the same boy for years. And not only that, that same boy also seemed to grow with him, as Mika had seen him become a young adult thorough the years. But Mika had never seen this guy in his life, in his real life. He was sure he would have remembered those vivid green eyes, but he was positive that the first time he saw them was in a dream. And the worst thing was that he never remembered his name. In his dreams, his name was always one of the first things he would say and one of the last, and saying that name never failed to make him happy. But he always woke up with the ghost of it, never recalling it. And he hated himself for that.
Mika looked up at the sky. What were those dreams? Maybe, maybe if he was aware that he was in a dream in the next one, he could try asking the boy. Was he real, or was he a part of his imagination? Because the feelings that grew in his heart during all those years were, at least for Mika, very real and truthful. Mika was in love with a man that only appeared in his dreams.
But the next dream never came.
Mika would have… normal dreams. He would have dreams that could perfectly happen in the near future, or very stupid dreams, but the green-eyed guy never appeared again. Mika always looked around frenetically, sometimes calling his name, but he never came. The black-haired guy had always been by his side, smiling and extending a hand for Mika to take, but that was no more.
Mika was left alone in his dreams.
A few months later, Mika was invited to a wedding ceremony. Apparently, his father’s boss had a son that was getting married, so he had received two invitations. Unfortunately, his mother had grown ill and had to be suddenly hospitalized, and not wanting the invitation to go to waste, his father had asked Mika to go in his mother’s stead. The blond wasn’t fond of gatherings, but he supposed he could try to spend more time with his father, since they hadn’t met much after Mika started university.
The wedding hall was amazingly big, and Mika was taken aback with the decorations and the quality of the snacks served at the reception. His father laughed quietly seeing his face, and explained that the groom had married into a very prestigious and important family who were very extravagant and liked to throw big parties for big events. Mika lifted a brow: if they were already talking about the groom marrying into the bride’s family before the actual wedding, it could only mean that the bride’s family was exceptionally prestigious. Or the groom’s was a bit pitiful. But how, and why, would such a little lady marry someone of lower status in this conservative society? Mika shrugged and decided not to ponder on it anymore, as it was not his business.
“Hey, Mika,” said his father suddenly. “That’s the groom.”
Mika looked in the direction his father pointed, and saw dark, unruly hair and big green eyes that shone like emeralds.
Mika felt his body grow limp and suddenly he couldn’t breathe anymore.
“That’s Yuuichiro,” continued his father, smiling and not noticing how his son had grown quiet. “He’s marrying into the prestigious Hiiragi family. And the bride is apparently a beauty! Lucky boy!”
Mika stopped listening after hearing the name. Yuuichiro. Yuuichiro. Yuu…
“Yuu-chan…”
He saw how the other guy stilled for a moment, like if he had felt Mika calling him, and turned around. When their eyes met, Mika’s legs grew weaker and he found himself on the ground.
He couldn’t hear anything, couldn’t see anything. Everything sounded and looked like the static of his old TV around him. Yuu-chan, Yuu-chan… That was him, the boy of his dreams… He had finally found him…
On his wedding day.
Mika wanted to cry, scream because it was unfair, unfair. He was there first, in some sense, they were always so close and were always together in his dreams, but Yuu-chan wasn’t just a dream, he was real and standing close to him, and yet…
“Hey, you alright?”
Mika would have recognized that voice anywhere. He looked up and saw concerned green eyes, and a hand that was extended to him so he could stand up.
The blond took the hand shakily.
“Yuu-chan…”
The hand stilled. Mika looked up again.
“Who are you?” asked the green-eyed man, frowning in confusion.
Mika had learned through his years to read the other man in his dreams, knew what he was thinking of just by looking at him. And he just knew what Yuu-chan was thinking right now.
Yuu-chan didn’t recognize him.