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The fire-haired elf slipped through the heavy, metal doors of the dwarves hall, glancing around briefly to ensure she wasn't followed. She moved rapidly, speeding towards her destination with hope of going unnoticed. Her expression was dark and pitiful, her eyes emotionless and staring forward, her lips pulled into a tight line. All signs of happiness and joy seemed to have faded long ago.
She twisted down halls and passageways, tracing the steps she'd taken many a time before. Without warning, she stopped, her gaze resting on the golden doors she'd never entered. She knew too well what lay through those doors, but she'd never summoned to strength to slide inside and see what would make her blood run cold. A strangled sob escaped her mouth and she bit her lip, trying to contain the rest of her sorrow.
Closing her eyes, Tauriel took a deep breath, letting the cool air flowing through the halls to clear her mind. Her eyes flashed open again and, summoning her courage, she padded towards the door and slid inside. The room was dark, only lit by sunlight beaming through a small shaft in the wall and candles flickering around the stone graves. A dry lump built in Tauriel's throat and it burned as she tried to swallow it. Tears flooded her eyes and she blinked rapidly, desperately trying to keep them at bay.
Slowly, the elf tiptoed forward, unable to tear her gaze away from a marble grave, slightly smaller than the rest, crowned with flowers, a familiar sword and bow. Her legs turned to jelly and she stumbled forward, falling to her knees before his grave. A burning sensation filled her throat as she swallowed the salty tears building in her eyes. Her shoulders were shaking furiously and her hands trembling as she tried to gather enough composure to address the grave.
"Kili." She whispered, her voice hoarse and scratchy. Her eyes closed as she cleared her throat, flickering open more when she was ready to speak. "I'll never forget the day we met. I'll neve forget my reluctancy to give you a weapon for I distrusted you greatly. I'll never forget the way you tried to act sassy and casual even though you were being locked away. I'll never forget how you claimed that rune stone was cursed until I turned to walk away. I'll never forget-"
Tauriel's voice began to quaver as each memory became harder to speak aloud. The few memories she had with him were the most precious and pure things she possessed since she lost him. "I'll never forget how you trusted me with your promise or the way your eyes sparkled when you listened to me. I'll never forget listening to your story and talking late into the night. I'll never forget the pain I felt hearing your pain-filled moan as you leapt back into that barrel or the fear I felt when hearing you'd been pierced by a morgul shaft. I'll never forget the joy I felt when I saved your life-" Her voice was growing thicker, tears building in her eyes so she could no longer see. "Even if it didn't save you in the end. I'll never forget those words you spoke, how you asked if I could have loved you. I'll never forget that kiss you stole and how your smile made my heart thud in my ears. I'll never forget our time together. Never. Not in this lifetime or another. I'll never forget you, Kili. You were everything to me. You are everything to me."
Tears began to stream down Tauriel's pale face as she let out a strangled sob. Anger started to bubble inside her like a volcano close to eruption.
"You reckless fool." She sobbed miserably. "Why, Kili? Why did you have to be so selfless to fight, even when you were only recovering? Why did you have to have a heart full of gold, eager to fight and serve your friends and kin before yourself? Why couldn't you have been selfish just this once and stay behind?"
Her voice began to rise as it filled with pure anger and she pounded the stone floor. "Why did you have to leave me?" Tauriel howled through gritted teeth, her composure shattering into tiny pieces. She punched the floor again and again, littering her knuckles in fresh cuts causing blood to pour down her dainty hands. Elvish curses slipped through her lips as she continued to beat the floor, staining it's smooth surface with smudges of crimson blood. A strangled sob escaped her mouth as she tried once again to keep away her tears. "I- I needed you. I-"
Tauriel's words caught in her mouth and the tears started to flow once again, this time rapid like a waterfall. In a pain-filled cry, the elf pushed her face into her knees, curling into a ball and blocking out the rest of the world. Her whole body shuddered as she cried. "I loved you. I- I still love you." She sobbed. "I- My heart has never belonged to anyone, not until I met you. You stole it with your sass and smile and kindness. I have never felt the way you made me feel and I will never feel that way again."
Tauriel remained on the floor for what felt like forever, crying out every last tear until she had nothing left. Furiously, she wiped her cheeks dry and cleaned the blood from her hands with her dress. Trembling, she stumbled to her feet and bowed at the grave. Before turning, she placed her hand on it's frozen surface. "I'm sorry Kili." She mumbled and turned on her heels, fleeing from the room.