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"So…" Steve starts one afternoon in Tony’s workshop, "I talked to Pepper this morning."
"That can’t be good," Tony says from underneath one of the fabrication units.
They’ve been fucking for a little while now. Tony is hesitant to call it dating, because of the lack of dates and hand holding and feeling sharing and such, but she supposes they’re ‘together’ or whatever. Does Tony sometimes feel like she doesn’t really know where she and Steve stand? Yes. Is she planning on bringing it up for discussion? No.
"She asked me if I had a tux for the benefit on Friday."
Tony pauses, not sure where he’s going with this, “Which benefit?”
"The one on Friday, Tony."
"You’re gonna have to be a little more specific, I get invited to a lot of benefits," Tony replies airily.
"The RAINN benefit," Steve says.
"RAINN? What’s that, is that an acronym?" Tony cuts her finger on an exposed wire and pulls her hand back with a hiss. She can hear Steve step forward in concern so she slides out from underneath the unit to wave him off, "Just cut my finger, I’m fine."
And because Steve is looking at her pointedly, she gets up to put a band-aid on it with a sigh.
Steve waits until she’s opening up the first aid kit to continue, “RAINN stands for Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network.”
Tony drops the box of band-aids, and she knows that Steve is watching, knows he’s probably reading something stupid into that, but really, it’s just hard to open a box of band-aids with one hand. She tries to pick it back up as quickly as she can without seeming like she’s hiding something.
"Oh, RAINN. Yeah. I don’t think I RSVP’d to that one," when Tony turns around Steve is studying her face, so she offers him a smile, "I hope you didn’t think I hadn’t invited you. Rest assured, Cap, I would not pass up the opportunity to show you off in a tux, but I’m busy on Friday."
"With what?" Steve asks.
"Would you believe that I’m actually going to go to a board meeting? I know I—"
"No. Especially since there isn’t one."
Tony drops her gaze to finally put on the band-aid she’s been holding.
"After I told Pepper I had no idea what benefit she was talking about," Steve continues, "She realized that you hadn’t RSVP’d, but asked me if I knew why since your work calendar is clear that night."
Tony shrugs and turns to throw the box of band-aids back into the first aid kit, “Eh, parties aren’t really my thing anymore. And benefits are just boring parties with lots of drinking, and, you know,” Tony waves a hand toward the bar as she makes her way back towards the fabrication units, “Trying to cut back and all, so I didn’t think it was such a great idea.”
Steve steps in her path, “Why don’t you want to go to the benefit, Tony?”
Tony draws up short, “I just told you why. Are you finally going deaf, old man?”
"Why don’t you want to go to this benefit?”
"What is your deal?" Tony can hear her voice rising and she does not want to do this.
"You went to a clean energy benefit last week, I just wanna know why this one’s different."
"It’s not! I just don’t feel like going. Will you just drop it?"
"No, I won’t, I just want you to talk to me. I— don’t walk away from me, Tony."
"I’m getting a fucking drink," Tony says, crossing the workshop to the bar, "Is that okay with you?"
"I thought you were cutting back?"
"Yeah, well I didn’t go cold turkey now did I?" Tony pours herself two fingers of scotch and tries not to think about how much she just wants to disappear into the bottle right now. Steve is silent for a moment as she drinks like it’s a shot.
"Why don’t you want to go to the RAINN benefit?" Steve asks softly, and fuck that.
Tony slams the glass back down on the bar, “It’s a good organization, but the benefits suck, all right? It’s fucking depressing and everyone is looking around and judging, making assumptions. It’s just not my idea of a good time. There. Happy now?”
"What kind of assumptions?" Steve asks.
Tony groans, “I don’t know! Assumptions! People are nosy motherfuckers, they can’t just accept your extremely generous donation and move on, they have to know why, and they can’t accept that you might simply do it out of the goodness of your heart, no, they’ve gotta read all kinds of shit into it. It’s just annoying.”
Steve meets her eyes, “Tony… Is this about Afghanistan?”
For a moment she can’t breathe. And Steve is stepping forward and she sucks in a shuddering breath and dips into the rage.
“Fuck you!” Tony spits.
She moves to stomp away, but Steve grabs her arm to stop her, “Tony—”
Tony wrenches her arm away from his grasp, “Don’t touch me!”
The exclamation takes them both by surprise and for a second they both stand completely still before Steve takes a step back, moving his hands out to the side.
"I’m sorry," Steve says.
Tony exhales and leaves without another word.
- - - - - - - - -
There’s a knock at her bedroom door and Tony determinedly does not look up from her tablet.
"Hey, it’s me," Natasha says from the other side of the door, "Open up."
Tony ignores her.
"Oh come on. I brought coffee."
Tony gives in, “Ugh, fine. Come in.”
JARVIS unlocks her door and Natasha strolls in carrying two mugs of coffee.
"Those better both be for me," Tony says.
"No, they’re both for me," Natasha replies. Tony glares at her. "Scoot over," Natasha says.
"This is my bed, go around."
Natasha lifts an eyebrow and looks pointedly between Tony and the coffees. Tony groans and wiggles away from the edge of the bed. Natasha hands over a mug and settles down beside her. Tony sits up to down half of her mug before leaning over to place it on the bedside table. Natasha takes a sip of her’s and does the same. They both lay back against the pillows and Tony pretends to do things on her tablet as she waits for the other shoe to drop.
The silence reigns on for several minutes.
"I’m not gonna spill all of my secrets to fill up the silence," Tony says, "That is not how this works. Your little spy tricks don’t work on me."
"I didn’t say they did."
"It’s just that’s he’s so pushy, you know? He’s so goddamn—" Tony’s voice cracks and she can feel the tears coming.
"Fuck," she sobs.
Natasha rolls over to hold her as she cries.
- - - - - - - - -
Tony blows her nose a second time and tries to act like she’s not mortified.
"Usually me crying is accompanied by more alcohol and smashing things."
"I know," Natasha says, gathering up the now cold coffees.
"So… if you tell anyone about this, I’m gonna tell them you tortured me."
"Silent interrogation isn’t torture, Tony."
"Yeah, well it should be," Tony mumbles.
"You should talk to him," Natasha says before she reaches the door, "He’s trying to give you your space, but he wants to apologize."
"Yeah… Hey," Tony waits until Natasha turns back to face her, "Thanks."
Natasha smiles, “You owe me some new toys.”
Tony laughs, “Yeah, yeah. Get out of here.”
- - - - - - - - -
Tony finds Steve in the library, and his head snaps up as soon as she walks in the room.
"Hey," she says.
"Hey," he says, jumping up from his seat, "Do you, uh. Do you wanna sit down?"
"Sure," Tony takes a seat on the sofa and Steve sits back down on the opposite end. She can tell he’s trying not to touch her and it just makes her want to hug him.
"I’m sorry," Steve says, "I crossed a line. Several lines. I got carried away and I’m sorry. And I shouldn’t have grabbed you like that, that was a dick move."
Tony lets out a huff of a laugh at that phrase coming from him and swallows, “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have been so angry and defensive abo—”
"No," Steve interrupts, " You had every right to be. I’m sorry I pressed."
"Thank you, but you’re my teammate. And more importantly, my friend, and my… whatever. The trust thing is a little hard for me sometimes, but I know I can trust you. And I’ll tell you about Afghanistan eventually. Maybe even soon. Because I trust you," Steve smiles. "Even if I’m not exactly sure what we’re doing here."
Steve frowns, “What do you mean?”
"I mean it’s not like we’re dating. We don’t go on dates or anything, we kind of just fuck and fight bad guys."
"We’ve gone on dates," Steve protests, "We’ve definitely gone…" Tony watches him as he thinks, "Fuck," he says. Tony laughs.
"How have we never gone on an actual date before?"
Tony shrugs. Steve slides off the couch to kneel in front of her and Tony grunts in alarm.
"Tony Stark," Steve says, "Will you go on a date with me?"
Tony squints at him, “You gonna put out afterwards?”
"Only if you let me buy you flowers."
Tony sighs dramatically, “I suppose. I’ll have my lawyers draw up a contract.”
Steve grins and moves back up to sit next to her on the sofa, “I’ll have my lawyers look it over.”
Tony reaches out to play with the collar of his shirt, “Yeah, well don’t expect to find any loopholes, my lawyers are the best.”
Steve reaches up to play with her hair, “Oh, I’m sure they are,” he leans in toward her and murmurs, “I’d like to kiss you now.”
Tony smiles, bites her lip, and leans in the rest of the way, “Yeah, I’d like that, too.”