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Your name is Michael Mell and your best friend is going to kill you one day, whether he’ll do it intentionally or not. Sometimes Jeremy would do something like rest his head on your chest lazily because he was tired, or get much too close to be considered platonic when he was feeling especially excited. Most days just looking at him would invoke a sense of awe, because he was a masterpiece. Your best friend had to be the most beautiful person you had ever seen (though you might be a bit biased, considering you had a crush the size of the fucking moon on him). And every time you would get caught staring, but you would play it off as a joke while you were dying from mortification inside, your face redder than your favorite cherry slushie.
Today was one of the rare Fridays where the two of you weren’t spending the night at one of your houses, and you’re not sure if you’re happy about this or not. The two of you were practically joined at the hip, but like all relationships (not like that!) it was nice to have some alone time. He had texted you telling you he wouldn’t be able to hang out today, and you had replied with a “sure, dude.” and continued on your way home.
You were spending time away from your best friend… Thinking about your best friend.
You may or may not have a problem.
You sit on your beanbag chair in your basement, listening to the silence of the room and tapping out a slow beat on your thigh as you close your eyes and lean back. You weren’t tired enough for sleep, but you also felt exhausted. The irony of the statement does not escape you.
You wish you had somebody to talk to about this. You wish that you didn’t have to pine endlessly for him by yourself.
And then, as if by fate or destiny or some deity that you can not name, your phone pings! with a message from where it sits on Jeremy’s bean bag chair. You lean over and pick your phone up, and you find a message from Rich.
HelloAndGoodBi: yo headphones kid im bored
Player-1: what do you want rich?
HelloAndGoodBi: entertain me
Player-1: not in the mood.
HelloAndGoodBi: i guess thatll work
HelloAndGoodBi: whats wrong
Player-1: you know, the usual.
Player-1: sighing about my best friend.
Player-1: having a crush on him.
Player-1: you understand.
HelloAndGoodBi: say no more
HelloAndGoodBi: please hold
A moment passes, and you wonder if he’s talking to somebody or doing something else entirely. You jump when your phone starts to ring.
HelloAndGoodBi, ChocolateShakespeare, BreakALeg, and DemonQueenOfHighschool are calling!
You answer the call and hesitantly bring your phone up to your ear. You hope that nothing too embarrassing will happen to you today. Rich’s voice flows through your speakers, and you can’t help but feel dread pooling in your stomach.
...You don’t think that your hopes are very realistic at this point.
“I have called you here today to discuss the complete and utter fucking messes that are Michael Mell and Jeremiah Heere.” A number of people laugh, and you already feel the future discomfiture and awkwardness on the horizon. You resist the urge to hang up.
“What happened?” Christine asks. You decide to answer, if only begrudgingly.
“Nothing happened . At least, not today,” you sigh. “I think I’m going fucking insane. Jeremy Heere is driving me bananas.”
“You can’t just leave it at that, Michael. Details, man!” You can hear the grin in Jake’s voice, in all of their voices. Rich probably told them what this was about, and you briefly contemplate the merits of cutting yourself off from society and living the rest of your life from your basement. Of course, one of the pros of such an action would be not having to deal with whatever… This is. But then you’d have to live the rest of your life without your usual slushies and that seems like a life you don’t want to live.
You decide to continue, if only somewhat reluctantly.
“It’s just… Fuck. I am so in love with this boy it hurts . It is physically hurting me how much I like him. And what makes it worse is how goddamn oblivious he is to it all, you know?”
Christine hums in sympathy, simultaneously urging you to continue. You oblige, and you are surprised at how cathartic talking about this is.
“Like, even I know I’m not being subtle at this point.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your name is Jeremy Heere and all you had wanted to do today was go to the mall, avoid some bad memories, search some of the stores and look for a patch to surprise your best friend with. That’s all. You had decided to add another patch onto the hoodie that Michael was never seen without, and you were going to give it to him on Saturday. Hopefully he’d like it and you could help him sew it onto his hoodie, and maybe the day could end with his head on your lap, your fingers carding through his hair...
Your daydream is abruptly cut off by the sound of your name.
“ Jeremy! ”
You jump, turning to see three (3) girls running towards you. Jenna, Brooke and Chloe are booking it to you as fast as they seemingly can. They reach you and Chloe holds her phone out to you and you confusedly take it. Jenna motions for you to listen to whatever is on it and you hold it up to your ear.
“Like, even I know I’m not being subtle at this point.” It’s… Michael? You look at who else is on the call, and your heart falls a little when you see it’s the whole group besides yourself. Why are they talking without you? Did you do something wrong, or-
“He just makes it so hard , you know? Like, Jeremy can not be doing this unintentionally. He is not being this cute and fucking cuddly unintentionally, right?”
Oh.
Oh shit .
You now see why they did not include you in this chat.
“This is gonna sound super sappy, but…” He stops, and you silently urge him to continue. Thankfully, Rich does it for you. You ignore the grins the girls are sending your way.
“Sometimes-Sometimes I can’t sleep because I’m thinking about how much I’m in love with him. I think about how soft his hair looks, and how pretty his eyes are.”
JeremyHeere.exe has stopped working.
You gasp, and you check to make sure the phone’s microphone is muted. Thankfully it is, and you also ignore the blush that is definitely not invading your face.
“You were right, bro. That was super fucking gay,” Rich laughs teasingly. There’s no malice behind it, and you can’t help but wish Michael would continue.
And he does.
“His smile could fucking cure cancer. That’s how great it is. Like it’s so amazing it should be illegal. ” He pauses again, most likely nervous.
“We’ve all been there, bro. You don’t have to be embarrassed.” Jake reassures, and Christine joins him, saying, “I think it’s adorable! We’re not gonna judge you or anything, if that’s what you’re afraid of.”
“He’s been so cuddly recently. And while that’s not exactly new , he’s been doing it… More.” You think back. Have you been more cuddly recently?
(your mind helpfully supplies that yes. Yes you have.)
“Isn’t that… A good thing?” Christine asks.
“Yes! No? I don’t know! It’s great, don’t get me wrong. But every time he does it I just can’t stop thinking about how much I want to kiss him and Christ, you guys!” Aaaaaaaahhhh! How the hell do you respond to that? How the actual fuck are you supposed to respond to that? “He doesn’t even notice! He just keeps on being adorable as hell and he’s going to fucking kill me one day. Mark my words! Put it on my gravestone; ‘ Killed by his best friend’s obliviousness.’ Jesus.”
“Why aren’t you telling him this? You hear Jake ask, and you wonder that too. It would’ve made the past few weeks much easier if you had known. Michael immediately answers, and you can tell he’s being defensive.
“I am not risking twelve years of friendship over a crush. I love him, but what if he decides that it’s weird or it makes things awkward or he suddenly hates me because he knows that I like him?”
What? No, you could never hate him! He’s you best friend, your player one! Why would he ever think...
Before you realize what you’re doing, you unmute the microphone.
“Michael?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your name is Michael Mell and your world is falling down around you.
Did he hear all of that ? How long was he listening? Oh God, fuckfuckfuck -
“ Jeremy ?”
There’s a painful, terrifying pause. You spend it panicking and going over every action that has led you to this moment and regretting it. You dimly register the others on the line, a soft “ oh shit”, an “ oh, Jeremy!” and a “ dude.”
“I-I love you too!” He yelps, and you can tell that he regretted it as soon as he said it.
You drop your phone. You sit like that for a moment, frozen in place and trying to make sense of the four word sentence you just heard. You vaguely hear talking in your daze, but you can’t for the life of you make sense of anything.
He said he loves you too. That’s good, right? This is good. Great, even! Amazing! Fantastic! Sensational! Phenomenal- lyscaryandterrifyingandwhatthefuckareyousupposedtodonow? Should you respond? You should probably respond. This is fine. You are fine. You’ve only liked him since seventh grade! Hahahahaha-
You really need to calm down.
You breathe slowly, and you feel clarity returning to you.
(Doesn’t stop your hands from shaking, though)
You pick the phone back up. How long were you freaking out for?
“J-Jeremy?” Instead of your best friend, Rich answers instead.
“They’re heading over to your house, ‘cause Jeremy needed a ride.” Ohh shit. You feel your anxiety spike once more. Why are you so anxious? You should be happy! This is great news!
“Are you okay?” You hear Christine inquire. You don’t have time to answer because somebody is knocking at your door.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
(he’s not banging he’s just knocking but it feels so much worse)
Somebody is in front of you, talking to you. You don’t have to look at him to know that it’s Jeremy.
He’s asking if he can touch you, and you are aware that you slowly nod yes. He hugs you, then, rubbing slow circles into your back. He keeps doing this, and you feel yourself slowly calm down.
“Are you okay?” He asks.
“Yeah,” You reply, leaning against him.
“What was it about?” He asks you.
“It’s just that I-” He waits patiently. “I just unknowingly spilled my whole soul to you and you were listening the whole time and I was freaking out because what if you didn’t like me back? Then it would be awkward, and then-”
“And then I would hate you?” He says, cutting off your rambling, and you can hear a smile in his voice. You bristle slightly.
“W-Well, I mean-”
“Michael, I could never hate you. In fact,” He pulls away, and you feel so relieved at his reply. “Would it be okay if I…” And there’s the awkward Jeremy you know. He fidgets slightly.
“If I, uh… Kissed you?”
Your mind blanks, but thankfully your body answers for you. You nod and then your lips are on his and it’s everything you’d ever thought it would be and somehow more. It’s not perfect; your glasses are there and in the way and it’s sloppy.
But it’s wonderful and perfect in its own odd, beautiful way. You feel happy and joyful and over the fucking moon, warm and loved and the nicest you’ve felt since the day in seventh grade when you realized that the feelings you had for Jeremy weren’t exactly platonic.
You hold each other for a while, until you break the silence.
“Hey Jere?” He hums in acknowledgement.
“I love you.” You feel him laugh as well as hear it.
“Love you too, Micah.”
The moment is completely ruined when you hear “Gay!” erupt from your phone.