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Magnus is late for their dinner date as his meeting became a little more complicated and drawn out than he anticipated. He sees the set table once he steps out of the portal, the small blue and purple flowers adorning the fine cream napkins, and a smile smooths away his frown, his heart feeling lighter as an image of Alexander tinkering with flowers and napkins forms in his mind.
The food has probably gone cold by now, but that's a non-issue for his magic. All he wants to know is where his love has disappeared to.
He finds him on the balcony, the last rays of sunlight of the day shining on him, mellow evening wind moving the strands of his dark, tousled hair. He's an alluring sight, dressed in dark slacks and a green button-up shirt. His features, however, are pensive and somber and Magnus approaches him slowly, his chest tightening, his skin prickling with concern.
“Alexander?”
The way the Shadowhunter's shoulders jerk give away that he wasn't aware of his presence which alerts Magnus to how deep in thought he's been, and knowing Alec, that's usually a bad sign.
“Oh, hey, I didn't see you.”
Magnus returns the soft smile Alec's now showing him which doesn't quite hide the sorrow in his deep hazel eyes. Magnus has always been attune to the way Alec displays and deflects his emotions and by now he's a self-professed expert.
Magnus can see something is wrong in the tentative way Alec moves towards him, in the slight tremble in his fingers as he places his hands on Magnus' arms, in the timidity of Alec's lips brushing against his.
He brings a hand up to caress Alec's cheek, gazing into his eyes before he pulls him into a hug, holding him tight, gently whispering. “What's wrong, love?”
He feels the slight stiffness in Alec's body, the sigh straining from his lungs. He pulls back, his arms falling to his sides, away from Magnus, but Magnus strokes his arms downwards, keeping a hold of them just above his elbows. “Tell me.”
He prods gently, eager to learn what's been plaguing Alec and finding a way to ease his torment.
Alec's not meeting his eyes now, staring at their feet. “I'm not a good person.”
Magnus feels taken aback by this, unable to fathom why and how Alec would come to such a conclusion, and wondering how long he's been standing here, torturing himself with such ideas.
“Alexander, why would you think that?”
Alec's meeting his eyes briefly but guilt reflects brightly in them and he averts them quickly. “It's just the truth... look at everything bad I've done... I try to... compartmentalize it, and find excuses, but-”
Magnus is fast to move his right hand, his finger pressing against Alec's lips, shutting him up successfully, his eyes now drawn to Magnus as if under a spell.
“Alexander, you are the opposite of a bad person. You are selfless to a fault, protective of everyone you care about and those in need. You make mistakes, as we all do, and you own up to them and give your sweat and blood and sometimes part of your sanity to right every wrong, not just your own, but those of others you feel responsible for, as well.”
Magnus moves his hands to cradle Alec's face, staring into his eyes intently. “You are brave and empathic, you're always there for whoever needs you, you apologize, you never shy away from a hard choice, and you always try to choose what's best for everyone, least of all yourself. You put everyone before yourself, and you're only happy when we, the ones you love, are. You are taking great risks trying to mend the divide between Shadowhunters and Downworlders, and you're getting closer to it one day at a time. You are an amazing person, one of the best ones I've ever known, and you know I've known a few in my time...”
When he sees Alec's gentle smile, he smiles, as well, placing a kiss onto his lips. “I love you, heart and soul and mind, in ways I never thought possible. And I refuse to believe I could love a bad person like this. It's unimaginable. And one more thing, you love me in a way that makes me believe I'm a good person, as well, and that is,” He swallows, feeling a familiar burn in his eyes, “Invaluable, Alexander, and I thank you. And please, never doubt how important and special and above everything, how good you are. You are beautiful in and out.”
He can tell Alec's struggling to keep his emotions in check as much as he himself is, and they embrace each other warmly, safe.
“I love you so much, Magnus, so much.” Alec's murmuring into Magnus' neck and it makes him lose the fight, a thick tear sliding out of his eye, along his nose, dropping off the tip. But the wonder and love he feels inside is infinite, making everything worthwhile.