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i never get to hold you (as much as i want to)

Summary:

Diana works too hard. Her friends are concerned. This may be love - but they don't know for sure just yet.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Akko liked Diana’s room. Most people would say that made sense, because it was super fancy. The walls were paneled with wood, there were fluffy feather beds with sheets that were “a higher threadcount than your IQ, Akko”, and the rug on the floor was thick and plush. Which Akko was currently experiencing quite closely, sprawled on the floor with a book between her propped elbows. Her bare feet kicked absently at the air, a finger idly tracing the patterns woven into the rug.

From this angle she would watch Diana work - the subtle expressions that flitted across her face as she thought. Did she know she smiled occasionally? Little smirks when she cracked the code, her pen flying across the page. Sometimes they were more subtle, tiny smiles that Akko couldn’t identify except that they were warm and sad at the same time. She wanted to know more. She wanted to know why Diana smiled.

Diana’s eyes slid toward her, shoulders squaring firmly in the way another girl would draw in defensively. “Did you need any help, Akko?”

Akko flushed, squirming a little in place. “N-no?”

The other girl’s attention returned to her books with a dismissive flick of her wrist. “Then… don’t stare. It’s rude.”

Her insides trembled with uncertainty, and something dangerously akin to excitement. Like trying to fly a broom only with fewer broken bones. Hopefully, anyway.

“Why nooooot.” Akko rolled over onto her back, knowing she was being petulant but not caring enough to stop. ‘It’s not like anyone will notice.”

The room was after all, mercifully empty. Hannah and Barbara had snuck out on a date, which meant they couldn’t laugh at her from their perch on their bed. Even though they barely used one, she wasn’t permitted to sit on either. And she was awfully flustered by the idea of sitting on Diana’s, no matter how much the other girl claimed that it was fine.

“I-it’s just distracting.” Diana muttered.

Akko peered at Diana upside down, and then quickly flipped over and crawled over to sit by Diana’s chair.

“Your ears are red.”

“They’re absolutely not!”

“They aaaaare.”

“If you can’t take this seriously, please find somewhere else to study.” Diana refused to look at her, but Akko could see the flush spreading to the back of her neck.

Akko drooped, dropping heavily back to the floor with a sigh. “Sorry.”

She went back to her own notes, writing out arcane formulas by hand and putting little notes where she’d need to ask Diana to translate the language. Admittedly she spent an equal amount of time color-coding the page with her awesome scented markers, but it was still productive! Probably.

She was in the middle of choosing the perfect shade of blue for her potions notes when Hannah and Barbara tiptoed through the door, giggling and shushing each other in turns. They immediately changed their tune when they saw that the lights were still on.

“Are you two still awake?” Hannah’s brows furrowed.

“This is the fifth night in a row, Diana.”

“And you!” Hannah turned her eyes on Akko, hands on her hips. “You’re enabling this. She wouldn’t be staying up so late if you weren’t here.”

Akko bristled at the accusation. “Hey, I - “

She was cut off by the sound of a book snapping shut. Diana turned to regard them with the regal look that could wrest control of a room even from the teachers. “Please don’t argue, girls. You know I have extra classes to keep up with.”

“But,” Akko sat up on her knees, tilting her head so that she could peer up at Diana, “they’re right, Diana. You haven’t been sleeping much.”

“See, even the dog agrees with us.”

“I told you not to call me that!”

Barbara snickered, “But you made such a cute Pomeranian during Practical Transformations last month.”

“Shiba Inu.”

“Does it matter if you were still a dog?” Hannah leaned into Akko’s space purposefully, a smirk curling at the corners of her lips.

“Girls will you please quiet down.” Diana was already bent over her books again.

Akko threw the other two a pleading look. She liked Diana and was pretty sure Diana liked her too, but she hadn’t known the other girl nearly as long. When it came to interventions, they were the ones who had the best chance of drawing their friend out of one of her more testy moods. Which it looked like Diana was fast approaching, given the circles under her eyes.

“Maybe you could take a break, Diana? Like, just a short one.” Barbara had a softer touch than Hannah, and so was often relegated to handling Diana’s more tempermental moments. “Maybe you could even take a nap.”

Diana’s pen paused. “Your concern is noted. I appreciate it… thank you. But I really have so much to do.”

Her pen returned to scratching away with renewed fervor. Hannah cast a look at Barbara, then one at Diana, mouthing things and making motions with her hands. Akko pulled a face. This was one of their more frustrating habits, and it was so unfair that they kept teasing Akko for being unobservant. As if just anyone could understand their bizarre game of charades mixed with the funky chicken.

Barbara nodded enthusiastically, and Hannah’s face lit up with a wicked grin.

That was when they both started waving their arms at Akko. Oh god, this again.

“Is it bigger than a breadbox?” Akko muttered, trying to convey with only her eyes that this was stupid and she didn’t understand.

Get her. Hannah mouthed, jabbing a finger at Diana’s bed. Pick her up and carry her over there you dumb dog.

Akko whined under her breath. That was a good way to get banished from their little study session for good. But… Akko cast a glance at Diana’s resolute shoulders, her exhaustion revealed in the perfect mask she used to cover it. When she was tired she got prickly, more careful, holding her vulnerabilities so much closer to her chest.

Akko could do it for her, right?

She pushed herself up and sneaked up behind, a little encouraged by Hannah and Barbara’s silent urging. Diana smelled really good when she leaned close - kind of expensive, like the kinds of perfume that rich people used without thinking about it. Did Diana dab it on her wrists every morning? She didn’t normally get close enough to know.

“Akko what are you -” Diana’s voice cut off in an undignified squeal. She was caught up around the waist and tossed onto the bed like a sack of flour, and promptly flopped on by the other girl when she tried to escape.

“You’re going to make yourself sick.”

Diana immediately went still under Akko’s weight, her heartbeat a rapid drum under Akko’s ear. Her hands were flung up near her head, as if she wasn’t sure where to put them.

Akko felt - Barbara, she decided - climb up on the bed. One hand, one knee at a time. Timid and hesitant, curling up against the two of them delicately. Hannah followed suit, openly shoving Akko into a position that suited her and burying her face into Diana’s neck, as if she belonged there.

“You’re making us worry, Diana.” Hannah managed to sound the perfect amount of exasperated to keep it from sounding too vulnerable.

Barbara shifted against Akko and Diana, her arm sliding smoothly over Akko’s back to entwine with Hannah’s, as if they had planned it. Knowing them it was buried somewhere in their weird charades. “You really are tired or like, Akko totally couldn’t grab you like that.”

Akko felt one of Diana’s hands settle on top of her head, and grinned with victory. She propped her chin on Diana’s collarbone and her smile broadened at the flush spreading across the normally unflappable girl’s face. Secretly, she admitted that she did feel like a dog in this moment. So painfully happy that even the threat of embarrassment or shame weren’t a shadow of a thought.

Diana heaved a sigh, plucking the band from Akko’s hair threading her fingers through, teasing out tangles. Always setting things to order, that Diana. It felt nice, and Akko’s eyes briefly slid shut before she opened them again.

“It seems I’m defeated,” Diana murmured, eyes not focusing on any of them for long, “am I required to sleep like this?”

The chorus of “Yes!” made Diana laugh, and Akko could feel her chest stutter against her cheek. She grinned, feeling almost as joyful as the first time she cast a spell that worked. This was good. This was how it should be - all of them together. It felt right.

Notes:

If you think this title is a reference to the song "Never Get to Hold You" by Carly Rae Jepsen you are 100% right! I wrote this ages ago, but only got the courage to post it recently! I'm a huge fan of poly ships whoops...