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Chapter Text

Lutalica

"When you were born they put you in a little box and slapped a label on it. But if we begin to notice these categories no longer fit us, maybe it’ll mean that we’ve finally arrived—just unpacking the boxes, making ourselves at home."

“Don't dig in the cereal box for goodness sakes

Take the prize and leave me nothing but flakes

Don't be a jerk! (don't be a jerk)

It's Christmas!”

Images danced on the television screen and Siegrain reached for the Xbox remote. His fingers brushed the body of it but he couldn't quite grab on. He sighed and his head fell backwards against the couch cushions. The small body beside him stirred and he decided it didn't matter if he disturbed her since she really should be in bed anyway. He scooted forward and eased his daughter down onto the cushions. With the remote in arm's length now, Siegran grabbed it and switched off the console.

He still wasn't sure how he felt about Sofia having free reign of YouTube – especially when it led to late night Spongebob Squarepants sing-a-long marathons – but he supposed it could be worse. In his head there was a hierarchy of obnoxious children's cartoons. According to Mystogan, Spongebob, at the very least, had been developed by an actual marine biologist. Siegrain didn't know whether or not that mattered to him since he didn't think he'd be able to tell Sofia no if she'd insisted on watching it anyway.

She was light in his arms and her eyes didn't flutter open until he had her in the twin bed, and pulled the blankets up to her shoulders. Her gaze was a bright but sleepy green. Sofia was a smooth mixture of himself and her mother.

“Will there be pie tomorrow, daddy?” Sofia yawned and rolled over on her side.

“All the pie you want.”

“But only after dinner?”

“Only after dinner.”

“Can you open my present before we go to the big house? Just you and me?”

“We can.” Sofia yawned and Siegrain brushed a strand of the fine golden hair that was all Jenny out of her eyes. “Get some sleep.” He stood and switched on the ladybug nightlight that painted her walls and ceiling with red and pink stars.

“Merry Christmas Eve, daddy,” Sofia muttered. When he turned, she'd already fallen back into sleep.

Siegrain pulled Sofia's bedroom door to the frame and his hands slid into his pockets as he made his way back to the living room. A tree twinkled in the corner near the row of windows that overlooked the busy street below. A purple backpack still hung off the back of a breakfast stool where Sofia had left it when she'd come home after her last day of school before winter break. The tiled breakfast counter was littered with strips of paints, watercolors, pencils and cups of dirty water. A collection of her artwork had been spread out over the dining table to dry. On the far tea table a stack of her new books waited for her attention. Siegrain didn't have to wonder where his daughter had inherited her cluttered ways – a quick glance at his own bedroom would give it away.

He grabbed all of her dirty water cups and emptied them in the sink. The other mess could stay but the cups would disgust her in the morning. On his way to bed his foot nudged aside a family of mismatched zoo animals gathered outside his closet. Sofia had her own bathroom but she preferred his. A smear of glittering blue toothpaste caught his eye and he wiped it away before flipping the last of the lights off.

Once in bed, Siegrain's thoughts wandered to the room at the end of the hall. It had taken nothing less than a Christmas miracle to get everything done before the holiday but tomorrow he'd let her see it. The art studio was the product of both a smear of red paint on the carpet and Sofia's art teacher. She'd made a joke about all the room in his bachelor pad style condo and his mind reeled.

Siegrain didn't remember being offered such high caliber art classes when he was Sofia's age but, then again, he and Jellal hadn't ever been in the same kind of school kids like Sofia and even Mystogan attended. None of them had ever set foot in a public school, of course, Acnologia would've had a stroke at the very idea. Strictly private, non-parochial institutions for Siegrain and Jellal. Mystogan was nothing short of a goddamn genius and graduated early from a magnet school and earned his first doctorate at twenty-two.

Miss Strauss seemed vastly over qualified for her position teaching eight and nine year olds about watercolor versus oil, and pencils versus charcoal. Their private conversations had escalated quickly from broad ideas regarding Sofia's art studio to how his big, crazy family compared to hers. Miss Strauss was incredibly well read and when asked why she chose education over something – anything – more prestigious she just smiled and said, “There can only be so many museum curators and liaisons for private collectors in one place, Mister Fernandes.”

She was like a walking art history reference. If he were honest, Siegrain would admit he could probably listen to her talk about it for hours. He liked her and that in and of itself was shocking.

Sofia's excited squeal might've woke the neighbors, he wasn't sure. She darted from one end of the studio to the other, taking it all in, before nearly bowling him over with a hug.

“Is it really mine?” she gasped. “All mine?”

“All yours!” Sofia's joy was contagious and he couldn't stop his wide smile.

“And I can paint whatever I want and put all my art stuff in here?”

“Yep!” Sofia suddenly paused and her expression grew somber. Siegrain's thoughts fumbled and he had a moment of horror. Had he forgotten something?

“What if I decide I don't like art anymore in a few years?” she asked quietly. Siegrain sighed and his smile returned. He knelt down in front of his daughter and took her hands.

“Then we'll get rid of all this stuff and fill the room with stuff you do like.”

“What if I want to raise hamsters or want a huge aquarium?” Siegrain paused and tried to scale back his initial horror. “I'm kidding, daddy.” She leaned in and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Sofia's gift to him was a cityscape the exact length of the mantle above his fireplace. The expanse of canvas held the same view as the one from the roof of the building. She'd chosen a color palette of blue, silver, and grey with dots of purple and gold. He'd only taken Sofia up to the roof a handful of times but she had a photographic memory – which was why the need to have her in an accelerated educational environment became clear very quickly – and he'd never been more proud.

“Do you like it?” she asked quietly.

“I love it.” Sofia's smile was brighter than the morning sun seeping through the cracks in the verticle blinds covering the row of windows.

It didn't occur to him until much, much later that there wasn't a single speck of red. Was he truly so transparent? He supposed so. Sofia's gift had come from her heart and it moved him.

Chapter Text

The first time he met her, he was only sixteen but it was already too late.

Siegrain tossed the wet pool towel into the laundry room and began to prowl through the kitchen. His first stop was the refrigerator for a cold bottle of water. There were room temperature bottles in the pantry but the outside had been hot and today he wanted the chill.

On their own, the bottles were a metaphor for his life. Jellal always wanted cold water, Mystogan preferred his room temperature. No one ever asked Siegrain what he liked best so he just took whatever suited him in the moment. It wasn't exactly a problem. But the fact that no one ever asked him represented something he hated – the middle. He hated that he always found himself there no matter what he did. Somewhere between Mystogan's bright star of excellence, and the golden sheen of wholesome perfection Jellal exuded, was Siegrain. He didn't actually know if he wanted cold water or room temperature – but he thought maybe someone should've at least asked.

He shut the fridge door and headed for the pantry. The new bag of pretzels and a handful of tangerines would be the perfect filler until dinner. Siegrain peeled the first tangerine right there in the pantry and stuffed three wedges into his mouth. His arms were full of snacks and a half-full bottle of water when he spun back around and faced the kitchen.

He blinked in surprise when he saw her – and she narrowed her eyes in confusion. She stared. Siegrain glanced backwards over his shoulder back into the pantry. He would've said something if his mouth weren't filled embarrassingly with wedges of tangerine. Her hair was a deep scarlet and her cheeks were quickly reddening to match.

“Uh –” she stumbled over her words and Siegrain quickly swallowed the tangerine. “What's going on?”

“Now, that's a loaded question,” he said smoothly. Her face flushed an angry pink and Siegrain couldn't help the smirk that crawled across his face. She was beautiful when frustrated.

“You –” She searched his face with the most appealing honey brown eyes he'd ever seen. “You told me to wait in the kitchen and now –”

Siegrain's stomach plummeted to the floor. Of course. He rallied anyway. “There's plenty of me to go around, beautiful. One for every room of the house.” Her face clouded into a flustered rage.

“What did you just say?” Siegrain laughed lightly and dumped his snacks onto the center island counter. He popped another wedge of tangerine into his mouth and watched her simmer. “I don't know what's going on here but –”

“Hey, Erza, I couldn't find th–” Jellal rounded the corner and cut off mid-sentence. His eyes flit from the angry girl with the red hair to Siegrain. “What's going on here?”

The girl, Erza, apparently, spun on Jellal and her face contorted in even more confusion. “I think you need to tell me what's going on first!”

“Oh.” Jellal blinked and nudged the bag of pretzels aside to make room for his laptop on the counter. “Well, uh –”

“Like I said,” Sirgeain interjected. “One for every room of the house.” He tore open the pretzel bag and crunched noisily.

“Erza, this is my brother, Sieg.”

“Are you twins? Why didn't you tell me you had a twin brother?” Her rage level was visibly falling.

“He's been away for a couple of weeks and I didn't even know he'd be back today.” Jellal glanced over at him and Siegrain only shrugged. “Look, Erza, I should also mention –”

“Oh, hey, Sieg, you're back,” a voice from the mouth of the hallway said absently. “Are mom and dad with you?”

“Nope.” Siegrain finished off his water and peeled another tangerine. “They're staying for another week or year. Who knows. I got bored.”

“What's happening?” Erza whispered. She slowly backed away from the center island as yet another boy who looked exactly like Jellal stood in the kitchen. Siegrain laughed again.

“I keep telling you, Red.” He ignored Jellal's glare. Mystogan's eyes hadn't left the face of his phone. “One for every room of the house.”

“Jellal, please, tell me how many more of you there are. I can't take this suspense.”

“I'm sorry.” Jellal ran a hand through his hair and took Erza's hand. Siegrain's eye twitched at the sight. “There's only three of us and, yes, we're identical.”

“Identical triplets?” she said, shaking her head in disbelief. “But the odds of that are –”

“Unknown,” Mystogan said. “It's been hypothesized that the odds are anywhere between sixty-thousand and two-hundred-million. Non-identical triplets occur in about one out of every four-thousand births. Most sets of triplets are considered trizygotic – which means three separate eggs were fertilized and attached to the uterine wall. Monozygotic triplets are when –”

“Okay, okay,” Jellal pulled Erza away from Mystogan, who simply shrugged. “That's enough. She gets it.”

“Just trying to help.” Mystogan nodded at Siegrain and disappeared back down the hallway.

“So does he, uh, I'm sorry but –” Erza's eyes were stuck to Jellal's face, desperately seeking answers. Siegrain couldn't look away from her hair. Wisps of it had slipped from what had already been a sloppy bun. He loved it.

“Mystogan doesn't go to our school. He's on another planet most of the time. Sieg's been with our parents for the last few weeks.” Jellal's expression fell into what everyone called his puppy dog face. “I'm sorry. I should've warned you.”

Erza glanced back over at Siegrain. He waved and chomped another pretzel.

“It's fine.” She finally smiled and something in Siegrain's chest flew away. “I do have to get home, though. My mom will flip out. I think maybe letting you drive me home is the most she'll be cool with until we get settled.”

“Right.” Jellal closed his laptop. “I couldn't find what you needed anyway. I'll get it tonight, though. I know I saw it somewhere.”

“It's fine. There's time.” Erza's hand closed around Jellal's arm. She turned back to Siegrain and smiled at him with a politeness he certainly didn't deserve at the moment. “It was nice meeting you. Will I see you at school?”

“If you're lucky.” Jellal reached out and snatched one of the tangerines and glared.

“Be nice,” he hissed.

Once they were gone, Siegrain's appetite died down. Like a brat he left the food on the counter and headed for his bedroom. Of course she was Jellal's girlfriend. Of course she'd moved to town while he was gone. Why should he ever expect anything different?

That night he dreamed of a beautiful scarlet sky but he stood on the other side of a thick pane of glass and could feel none of it's warmth.

Though he'd been excused from school for two more days, Siegrain dressed for classes in the morning. By the time he made it down to the kitchen, Mystogan was already gone. He'd left half his waffles uneaten but Jellal was still finishing off his pancakes. Siegrain sighed and grabbed a loaf of bread from the pantry.

The same chef had been preparing his family's meals for as long as he could remember. She'd asked him once if he preferred pancakes of waffles in the morning and in a fit of petulance he told her not to bother. There wasn't a third, unique option he could think of at the time. Ever since then he'd been punishing himself with plain toast.

Chapter Text

If you haven't read the scene Mirajens wrote, I recommend you do! It can be found [here]

Even in winter the pool was immaculate. Siegrain clenched and unclenched his fists in his pockets. He'd been dreading this night for weeks and now it was unavoidable. Jenny had pinned him with a single gaze and he'd understood that he could tell his family or she would. He recalled the conversation with perfect clarity.

“It's not that I'm ashamed, Jenny.”

“I don't care if you are or not. I'm pregnant. I'm keeping it. You have one chance to be involved with this new arrangement. I won't have you bouncing in and out. Either way you will contribute with cash. It's not like you can't afford it.”

“Of course, I want to be involved! I –”

“Then tell your family over the holiday, Siegrain, or I'm going to assume you're too spineless to be a father .”

He wasn't ashamed. Not about the pregnancy anyway. Siegrain shuffled his feet because it would be just one more thing for his father to toss on the fires of disappointment. Mystogan was two years away from earning his first doctorate – first because everybody and their dog knew he wouldn't stop at just one – Jellal was excelling as always even in the first semester. And what was Siegrain doing? He'd managed to impregnate a girl he barely knew. Fantástico.

Siegrain turned away from the kitchen windows and meandered back into the sitting room. He loved his brothers but being in the middle of Mystogan and Jellal made breathing hard. The news would have to be delivered, breaths or not – and he really wanted to drop the bomb before Erza showed up for dinner. Siegrain cleared his throat and opened his mouth but the doorbell drowned him out. His chest constricted and when Jellal returned to the room, Erza was on his arm. Gods she looked flawless in black. Anna leaned in to kiss her cheek and even his father granted her a rare smile.

Why why why did it have to be Jenny? Why couldn't he have someone on his arm just like... stop. That kind of maudlin thinking would sink him before he could get any words out. In what felt like a second foil, one of the caterers poked their head into the room and announced dinner. Everyone filed past him into the dining room. Only Jellal stopped and squeezed his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. I just –” he sighed. “It's nothing.”

Dinner seemed to crawl by. His mother happily sipped her wine and listened to every detail of Erza's first semester. Of course, she'd listened to him too. Siegrain wasn't jealous. Mystogan went on and on about medical nonsense, and Jellal managed to both curl a strand of Erza's hair around one finger, and break down the long list of pre-requisites required for law school while their father nodded his head.

“And you, son?” Acnologia's voice always came out as a boom. He rattled Siegrain's thoughts. “Have you chosen a major yet?”

“No,” he muttered. “It's only been one semester so there's plenty of time –”

“Your brothers have chosen their paths. Why haven't you?”

“Well –” Siegrain's eyes flew around the table. Both Mystogan and Jellal pursed their lips in an identically sympathetic way. Anna's eyes were wide and worried. She glanced back and forth between her husband and son. Erza chewed her lip. “I just want to keep things open and –”

“Academic success doesn't come from keeping things open, Siegrain. I'll contact the university and you can meet with a counselor.”

“Dad, I really don't think –” Acnologia's eyes choked off his words. “Right,” he whispered. “Okay.” Siegrain only picked at his food for the rest of the meal.

The fire in the sitting room was still at the perfect height when Acnologia settled into his chair with a cigar. Siegrain knew they were from his home country and probably illegal for him to have, but the man wouldn't touch anything else. His skin was hot. He could feel the heat from the fire through his pants and sweater. With one last deep breath, he spun around and faced the room.

“Jenny's pregnant,” he blurted. Everything about the setting came to a slow, messy halt. Anna blinked in confusion. Mystogan and Jellal exchanged a brief glance. Erza's mouth fell open but she quickly closed it. Acnologia sat in a dead silence. Smoke from his cigar twisted and curled.

“And who is Jenny?” Acnologia asked, still unmoving. The smoke was thinning out.

“She's a girl I met a few months ago at school.”

“So when you said at dinner you were keeping things open you meant that literally? Do you simply spend your days skating by and fill your nights with young women?”

“I –”

“Is this Jenny your girlfriend?”

“No,” Siegrain whispered.

“Does she have a last name?”

“I'm sure she does.”

“But you don't know it?”

“Acnologia, I think –” Anna's voice was soft and halting.

“No, no, I want to hear his answer. What do you know about Jenny? Is she a student? Does she have a major? Have you met her parents?” Siegrain's face felt as hot as the fire. He slid a step back when Acnologia stood and deposited the cold cigar in the tray above the mantle.

“I don't know any of that. She just – it was a party hookup, dad.”

“Was she intoxicated? Were you?”

“What kind of question is that?” Siegrain huffed.

“I'm just trying to find out how deep your depravity goes. Did she consent to be with you?”

“Dad –” both Mystogan and Jellal cut in but quickly retreated when Acnologia held up a hand.

“I didn't rape her, for fuck's sake!”

Acnologia stepped directly in front of Siegrain. “You shouldn't use that language in front of your mother. It's disrespectful. But what would you know of respect? You impregnated a young woman you know nothing about. A student, no less. Have you any idea what that means?”

“Well, I –”

“You've made her life difficult. You've put her in a position someone her age shouldn't be in. Are her parents decent? Will she suffer at their hands because you couldn't be bothered to slide on any one of the piles of condoms I know your mother has been leaving in your bathroom for the last several years?”

Siegrain felt a drop of sweat slid down his neck from behind his ear. He really was too close to the fire.

“You've made her a mother at nineteen, Siegrain. Children make you poor! I have been poor enough in my life so that no one who brushes against my family should have to suffer.”

The room was completely silent. Siegrain felt as if the walls had shrunk down to just him and his father. The words that finally came to his tongue were the wrong ones.

“Stop with the dramatics,” Siegrain spat. “The fraternity was your idea! Your legacy.”

“I thought maybe one of you would carry on that tradition properly! Such things are important on transcripts and it's a tradition! I didn't have any of those opportunities when I was a child! The privileges I have worked to give you shouldn't be squandered!”

Siegrain snorted derisively. “You married into money. You didn't earn –” The slap took him by surprise. It stung his face more than anything else ever had. He blinked and it took him a moment to realize the wetness on his face wasn't sweat. He hadn't cried since he was a child and tumbled hard off his bike.

A flash of blonde and words he didn't process shuttled Acnologia away. Siegrain's hand rose to his face and he smeared the tear away. When he stumbled back to himself he realized only his brothers and Erza were left in the room.

Mystogan hid his hands in his pockets and dropped his gaze to the floor. Jellal eyed him carefully and sighed. Erza scowled at them both as he fled the sitting room and headed through the kitchen and to the back garden.

The cold pricked him through his clothes but his face still burned. He'd done everything wrong. Maybe he could patch it up later when his father wasn't so enraged. Acnologia's questions had been completely valid. How could he have dropped such a bomb with no information? How?

“Are you okay?” Erza's voice came from behind him and she slid her arm through his. “I'm sorry about what happened.”

Siegrain laughed and felt his throat tighten again. “My dad thinks I'm a rapist. I'm great.”

“He doesn't think you're a rapist, Sieg. No one does.” She sighed and he watched the puff of her breath mingle with the frigid air. “People say things they don't mean sometimes. He was wrong to slap you.”

“No he wasn't,” Siegrain muttered. “I deserved it. I never think –”

“Stop.” Erza stepped in front of him. His eyes fell on the red of her hair. So vibrant against the icy pool. “You didn't deserve to be slapped. That was wrong of him. Period.”

“Do you think I'm a bad person?” The question came out more pathetic than he'd wanted but it seemed par for the course.

“No. I think you did what a lot of people our age do.” Erza paused and he felt her eyes fixate on the still throbbing side of his face. “I think you and Jenny have a lot of things to work out.”

“I don't know what to do.”

“You support her, that's what. Ask her what she needs. Help her line up child care so she doesn't have to miss too much school. Stuff like that.”

“You're so smart, Erza,” he whispered, shaking his head. None of those things had occurred to him.

“No, I just grew up with a single mom.” She smiled at him and his mood lifted ten feet into the air. “I think it would also help if you talked to your mom, but don't invade Jenny's space.”

The voices of Jellal and Mystogan were muffled through the windows and Erza's eyes glanced beyond him and then back up.

“I should go. It's late and Jellal is probably hyperventilating that I've been out here for so long. My mom wanted me home before midnight.”

“I'd hate to lose a brother that way.” He grinned. Eileen was terrifying.

“Are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah, I'll be fine.”

Erza finally smiled and squeezed his arm. “For what it's worth, I think you'll be a great dad.”

She left him staring at the pool and replaying her words over and over again. A dad. He was going to be a dad.

Chapter Text

Siegrain rounded the corner and into the kitchen. Erza leaned against the counter facing away from him. Her hair was piled on her head in a messy twist. He stifled a sigh and began to pick through the trays of cut vegetables. His parents loved their weekend barbecues and high class sloshes. Erza suddenly spun around and caught him with a carrot in his mouth.

“Oh!” she said with a smile. “You changed! I can't believe I was so clumsy with my drink in the car. I promise I'm not always so jumpy. I'm just not used to all the speed bumps in this neighborhood.”

Siegrain blinked in surprise and then grinned. “It's not a big deal, Erza. A shirt is a shirt.”

“Still, though.” She pushed off the counter and circled around the side of the center island. Her fingers brushed over the front of his t-shirt. Erza smiled up at him. “I'm sorry. My mom never has time to teach me driving.”

Siegrain took a moment to process that Jellal had been giving Erza driving lessons in his own car. He stuffed away the jealousy and said something rakish instead. “Wanna go make out in the pool house?”

Her smile twitched and her eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly but she quickly recovered. “Is that a good idea?”

“I, personally, think it's a great idea.” In a fit of bold insanity, Siegrain lifted his fingers to a stray wisp of Erza's hair.

“So –” Her hand pressed more firmly against his chest and she inched a little closer to him. “What was the name of the cat I had when I was six?”

“Uh,” Siegrain stuttered. “What?”

Erza scowled and pushed him away. “Nice try.”

“Aw, come on, Erza, I forgot!”

“You forgot what?” Jellal rounded the same corner he had a moment ago and, in a frustrating turn of events, wore the same pair of board shorts and green t-shirt. Siegrain threw his hands up in resigned frustration. “What's going on?”

“Nothing shocking.” Erza took Jellal's hand and grinned smugly. “Let's go outside, I need some sun.” Siegrain watched them go but spoke up as Jellal turned ot shut the glass door behind him.

“Hey, what was the name of Erza's cat when she was six?”

Jellal smirked. “Nice try.”

Chapter Text

Her breathing was heavy and her skin hotter than he thought it should be. Sofia's fine blonde hair clung to her neck and temples. Reluctantly, he left the couch for the kitchen. He'd been debating contacting Jenny all day but hadn't – he wasn't even sure if she'd get his call. She'd been gone for two days on her first vacation in the three years since Sofia's birth. Not only did Siegrain not want to ruin her trip but, more than that, he didn't want to show the kind of helplessness that could be construed as incompetency.

According to the thermometer, Sofia's temperature wasn't high enough to warrant a hospital visit but he was still concerned. Siegrain's thoughts ricocheted around in his head. He didn't want to call his parents for the same reasons he didn't want to call Jenny. That left him with... Oh! Erza! He scrolled quickly through his contacts and tapped the one titled Red.

“Hello?” Her tone was exasperated.

“I'm sorry for bugging you in the middle of the day like this,” he blurted at the speed of light. “I know you're probably working or studying or –” The back of his throat tightened. “With Jellal –”

“What is it, Sieg?” Erza sighed on the other end of the line.

“It's Sofia. She's got a fever. I don't know what to do.”

“And you assumed that I would?” She snorted and he could hear the sound of dogs barking in the background. Great. She was working. He'd annoyed her at work. Perfect. “You do realize that women't aren't pre-programmed for child care, right?”

“I just –” He paused and peeked back into the living room. Sofia still slept on the couch.

“I'm a veterinarian,” she said dryly. “Unless Sofia has been a shapeshifter all this time and is now stuck in a cat body, I don't know what to tell you.”

“Do you think you could come over and –”

“No.” Her tone was heavy with finality but the sound of barking dogs dimmed. He imagined her stepping into an exam room. “Look, Sieg, you need to dial yourself back, okay? Calm down and think. Is her fever very high?”

“I don't think so. She's at one-oh-one.”

“I know that WebMD has a reputation for fanning the flames of paranoia but I think in this case you might want to check it out. They have a page where you can enter symptoms and all that.”

“Yeah, okay. I'll check that out.” He exhaled a frustrated breath and tugged on his hair. “Sorry for bugging you.”

“Hey, wait!” She paused and he could almost see her biting her lip. “You're doing your best, okay? Sofia will be fine.”

“Thanks,” he whispered, ending the call before he could say something stupid.

Siegrain opened his laptop and found the symptom checker easily. Sofia wasn't vomiting or anything and her fever wasn't too high. According to his results, as Erza had warned, Sofia could have anything from bacterial pneumonia to meningitis. After swallowing his panic over seeing plague listed, he found an entry on children's doses of acetaminophen and an advertisement for disposable cold gel packs. With a sense of righteous accomplishment, Siegrain called the pharmacy on the corner and, after paying an exorbitant delivery fee he didn't think twice about, placed an order for the medicine, the gel packs, and a bottle of electrolyte juice.

Sofia's fever broke at eleven that night and she took a sippy cup of the pink juice before he moved her to his bed. Siegrain gently pressed a new cool gel pack to her forehead just in case and dimmed the lights. Before going to sleep himself he had two things to do. First, he started a load of laundry comprised of the blankets Sofia had been sweating on all day.

And second? He snapped a picture of his sleeping daughter and texted it to Erza with the caption “Best dad ever? I think so!” She responded with three eyeroll emojis.

Chapter Text

Siegrain's foot tapped the linoleum floor in rapid succession. His palms sweat and his heart raced. Anna's hand gently squeezed his shoulder and when he glanced up at her, she smiled.

“She's going to be fine, Sieg.”

“But what if –”

“This is the best hospital in the city. There's an army of specialists. Jenny and the baby will be just fine.”

“I think she's upset her dad isn't here,” Siegrain whispered. “He couldn't get a flight home in time and –”

“Honey, you need to relax. Babies are born on their own schedule. Her mother is here, we are here. It's enough.”

“Do you think dad will be mad at me forever?” His heart dropped when Anna sighed and took a seat next to him.

“He's not mad, Siegrain.” Anna reached over to tidy his collar and hair. She smiled again but it didn't feel as real as the other. “Your father grew up in another place and another time. He had to work very hard for everything. He's given you boys privileges he never had because he doesn't want you to suffer.” Siegrain opened his mouth but Anna shook her head and went on. “But he also doesn't relate to the life he's provided for you. He simply does not compute your words when you say you don't know what you want to do with your life.”

Siegrain's eyes fell to the floor. He clasped his hands between his knees. “I'm sorry I disappoint him.”

“Oh, honey, he loves you. He's just not very good at emoting. Mystogan worries him with his hyper-fixations. He wonders how he'll function in adult social situations. Will he forget a coat and freeze to death on the bus? Will he forget to tie his shoes and trip in front of the bus?”

“But he's proud of Mystogan.”

“He is, yes, but he also worries. Jellal is...” Anna trailed off and sighed. “Jellal is spoiled. I'm afraid that's my fault. He was such a needy child.” Siegrain watched his mother's eyes drift away from him and into her memories. “He's a smart boy but he shouldn't be alone.”

“He's not.” Siegrain muttered petulantly. Anna laughed lightly and pressed a kiss to his temple.

“Your father is proud of you, too, Sieg. You're resourceful and always find a way to get things done. I never have to worry about you out in the world. You can take care of yourself in ways your brothers can't. You're clever and witty and you're always the first to make people laugh when they need it. That's what makes you special.”

“You forgot irresponsible teenage parent.”

Anna sighed again and wrapped her arm around his shoulders. “Maybe irresponsible but not irresponsible teenage parent. That much remains to be seen. I have faith in you, though. Jenny is a capable girl and her parents are good people.”

“I still don't know what to do.”

“You show up, Sieg. You're here. You've helped her prepare.”

“But you and dad –”

“I hope you weren't going to say we were better prepared!” Anna laughed again. “No one is prepared for three babies at once. My family and I were only just back on good terms when you and your brothers came into the world.”

“Only just? What do you mean?”

“That's another story for another day, Sieg.”

“But –” Siegrain was interrupted by the door of Jenny's room opening. Her mother's smile was bright.

“I think it's time.”

The fuzzy bundle in his arms felt surreal. Her face was squished and pink. She had a fluff of hair the same blonde as Jenny's. Siegrain's eyes swept the nearly empty room. He almost felt like he was doing something wrong. Should he be allowed to hold the baby without supervision? Jenny still slept and both his mother and hers had gone for food. Without warning her expression twisted and she began to squirm. Her cry was nothing more than a squeak.

“Here,” Jenny's exhausted voice came from her bed. She held out a formula sample bottle. “She's hungry, I guess.” Siegrain stood and relocated to the chair beside the bed. He took the bottle and examined it.

“You aren't going to – I mean – you don't need to, uh –” Jellal rolled her eyes and shifted on her side to watch him attempt to feed their daughter.

“I'm not breastfeeding if that's what you're trying to ask. I decided not to.”

“Oh, okay.” The baby sucked on the bottle forcefully but eased off once she figured out a rhythm.

“It's just that my schedule is rough enough as it is. I'm too stressed out with classes and everything to worry about a breastfeeding routine. Pumping sounds awful and I don't want you to struggle with proper milk storage.”

“You don't have to explain yourself to me, Jenny,” he whispered, glancing up. “My mom didn't breastfeed either.”

“I can't blame her.” Jenny sighed and he could see the fatigue on her face.

“I don't want to hassle you about anything, okay? Until she's bigger I'm fine with whatever schedule you want.”

“We need to figure out where our classes overlap,” Jenny said with a yawn. Siegrain pulled the bottle from the baby's mouth and wiped her chin. She was already sleeping again.

“I thought maybe I could take fewer classes this term. I know your track doesn't allow for that and I want to help.”

“But you'll delay your graduation.” Jenny frowned.

“So? It's not like I'm trying to take over my dad's business like you are.” Siegrain shrugged.

“Are you sure?”

“I am. I already talked to my advisor about it.”

“I have four weeks of recovery time,” she said softly. “After that I have to go back or the term's shot.” Siegrain smiled at her.

“Don't worry about it. I'll pick up the slack. You've seen my parents' house and she'll be fine with me. I've got everything she'll need.”

“Your dad offered to pay for a full-time caregiver.” Jenny's voice was quiet and Siegrain froze.

“My dad spoke to you?”

“He did.” Jenny's eyes were sharp. He felt them watching for his reaction.

“If that's what you want, Jenny.” Siegrain didn't want to rely on a nanny any more than necessary. His mother had brought in a few over the years to help her and he didn't have any misgivings – he just... he just wanted his daughter to know who he was. Siegrain's throat tightened and he felt stupid for all the emotions.

“I'd rather her be with either one of us than a sitter but there's going to be times when we can't do everything. I've already accepted that as a fact.”

“I guess I didn't consider it.” Her low laughter surprised him.

“So this is what you're like under all that fuckboy armor, huh?” Jenny's smile was teasing but he didn't feel any barbs. “You're just a softie.” She paused and Siegrain relaxed into the chair. “I'm glad. Maybe it's my fucked up hormones talking, and I might threaten you and swear you to secrecy later, but if this was meant to happen, I suppose I could have a worse guy as a babydaddy.”

“I can be decent.” He gave her his best grin – the one that usually kept him from being alone when he was drunk and thinking of red things – and Jenny rolled her eyes.

“Anyway, I'm glad we can get along. I think my dad thought you'd try and take her from me.”

“My dad would eat me alive in front of my brothers if I tried to jerk you around. I'd like to live long enough to watch my daughter go to school.”

“Um,” Jenny pulled her hair off her neck and stuffed her hands under her pillow. “I haven't picked a name yet.”

“No?”

“I was hoping you had one because I've been all over the place with ideas.”

Siegrain brushed the pad of his thumb over the swell of his daughter's cheek. He hadn't thought much about names but now that he did –

“What about Sofia? With an f instead of a ph.”

“Why are the letters important?” Siegrain smiled and glanced up at Jenny.

“My dad has this framed photograph in his office at home of his mother. She died before we were born, I think. Anyway her name was Sofía. It's written in pencil in the corner of the photo.”

“You don't think he'd mind?”

“No, I don't think he will.”

The curtains hiding the room door were suddenly pushed back and Anna appeared with Jenny's mother close behind. They'd brought bags of lunch and Jenny's stomach growled audibly. Anna held out her arms for the baby and when she leaned down to make an exchange for the food, she whispered,

“It's a lovely name, Sieg. This will make him proud.”

Chapter Text

He slid into the booth across from Erza and for the first time he didn't feel the lurch in his chest. The one he'd grown so used to. The one that broke his heart every time. She smiled at him and he waited... and waited.

“Sieg?” She stopped stirring the ice in her glass and quirked an eyebrow. “What's wrong with you?”

“Absolutely nothing,” he said with a grin. And he meant it. Her hair was in the same style of bun she always used when she worked and the fringe that always wound up escaping the pins hung just above her eye but that was fine. Jellal would fix it later for her.

“Your'e acting weird. Do I have feathers in my hair or something? Some crazy lady brought in her four parrots today. Did you know people kept exotic birds around here?” She picked at her hair and went on about her morning but he didn't hear it. His mind was stuck on something silver. “Anyway, why am I here?”

Siegrain snapped himself out of his thoughts. “Right. Lunch. Have you ordered?”

“No, I was waiting. I have two hours today and I'd like to milk every minute.” Their waitress brought him a glass of water and they ordered. “So what's up?”

“I need some advice.”

“Listen, if this is about that vacant lot you're trying to convince Jellal to go in with you on, forget it. I don't have an opinion on that and –”

“No, no, not the lot – which, by the way, is happening. This is actually something completely different. It's about a woman.”

Erza blinked in surprise. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Uh –” Siegrain's face grew warm. “I have a date with someone and I want to maybe bring a gift?”

“A date?” She laughed and sipped her water. “Sieg, you have lots of dates. I can hardly keep up with them all.”

“No, this isn't one of those dates. I like her and I don't want to fuck it up.” Erza continued to eye him suspiciously. “Please, help me. I can't ask my mom. Mystogan will tell me to –”

“Oh, god, no don't ask Mystogan.” Erza sighed and leaned back as their food was placed on the table. “And Jellal will tell you to ask her how she feels about recycling batteries and how soon she'll marry you.”

“You're the only sane person in this family, Erza, please help me.”

“Okay, so this is a first date? Where did you meet her?”

“Well –” Siegrain picked at his fries. “She was Sofia's art teacher last year.”

“I see,” Erza said grinning. “Is she the one who helped you with the studio in your condo?”

“Yeah. She's great, Erza, she's so smart and she makes me laugh.”

“What were you thinking of? Why are you wanting to give her a gift on the first date? Is that a thing now?”

“I don't know but I feel like it could be?”

Erza shrugged. “I haven't been single since I was sixteen, Sieg, but I can give you my thoughts on your ideas.”

“What about lingerie?” He flinched when she paused with a bite of salad halfway to her mouth.

“Lingerie? Are you serious?”

“Is that not a good idea?”

“For a first date? Absolutely not.”

“What if I already bought it?”

“You bought lingerie for a woman you want to date? Where do you get the balls for stuff like that?”

“I don't know? I just kinda walked in and bought it.”

“You walked in? Jesus, Sieg, you're crazy. Listen, no gifts.”

“But –”

“I'm serious. If you like this woman do not give her lingerie or anything else for at least two months.” She eyed him silently while chewing her food. “If you can make it two months without her slapping you.”

Siegrain snorted derisively but ultimately decided to stash the box with the blue lace in the back of his closet. He couldn't afford to mess up.

Chapter Text

The halls of Sofia's school made him wistful. He could still remember being young and free of the trappings of teenage angst and weighty adult things. Sometimes he wondered how he'd made it all the way to twenty-seven – and then he was reminded of exactly how old his daughter would be soon. Nine? Time didn't fly, it raced.

He felt a little out of place in the school, he didn't often get to wander around inside after dismissal. This particular hallway had been strung up with various renditions of hearts and paper doilies. Valentine's Day was a hated holiday but not even the garish displays could keep him from Sofia's classroom. Jenny's block of days with her weren't technically up until the following morning but Siegrain had been away for almost a month and Jenny jumped at the chance to take off early for the weekend. He didn't ask where she was headed or with whom – it was not only none of his business but he also didn't care.

Siegrain glanced at Jenny's text thread and up again at the door placards. Of course room three-two-three would be at the end of the hallway. He raised his hand to knock on the slightly open door but paused at the sound of Sofia's voice. She spoke animatedly and it made him smile. Art was a newly discovered hobby. Sofia had always been into paints and crayons but her new art teacher watered the interest into a bush covered in blossoms.

“I'd have to measure to be sure,” Sofia said thoughtfully. “Do you think they make long canvases like that?”

“Of course they do. If we don't have one here, we'll make it ourselves.”

“You can do that?” Sofia's voice was a whispered awe.

“I can! I have stretcher bars at home and everything.”

“You're so great Miss Strauss, I think you're my favorite!” Siegrain smiled. Sofia loved things fiercely and she shared that love with everyone around her.

“If you can do the measuring, we can definitely make the canvas. Do you know what kind of colors you want? Red would be lovely for what you have in mind. Sunsets are very beautiful for your style.”

Sofia was silent for a long moment and Siegrain strained to hear. “I don't think red is a good idea,” she nearly whispered.

“You can pick any colors you'd like, Sofia. There's plenty of time before –”

Siegrain swallowed his daughter's words and knocked lightly on the door. He stepped into the classroom and Sofia's face lit up.

“Daddy! You're back!” She sped toward him and wrapped her arms around his middle. Her smock was still damp with the remnants of watercolor and she stepped back sheepishly. “Sorry about that.”

“They're only clothes, Sofia, it's okay.” He took her offered hand and she pulled him further into the room.

“Miss Strauss, this is my dad! He's an artist too!”

“Uh –” Siegrain laughed awkwardly and grinned at Sofia's teacher. She had a kind smile and her silver-blonde hair looked to be on the verge of escaping its short ponytail. “I'm in graphic design. I don't know if that can be considered art.”

“It's art, daddy.” Sofia smiled up at him and he thought maybe it could be art. “He did the row of windows on Fifth Street! You know the ones with all the swirls of blue? The panels shade the office from the sun in the afternoon and they're so pretty, Miss Strauss.”

The way Miss Strauss's lips twitched into a deeper smile at Sofia's words made the tips of his ears warm.

“I didn't do them, really. I just designed the patterns and... yeah.”

“It's good to finally meet you, Mister Fernandes,” she offered her hand smoothly, saving him from his efforts at self-depreciation. “Sofia talks about you a lot.”

“Nothing too terrible, I hope?” Miss Strauss's hands were soft even with the flecks of paint on her fingers.

“Not at all. She's probably my most enthusiastic student this term.”

“Sofia has a knack for color. She can see a thing once and reproduce it easily.” Sofia tugged on Siegrain's hand.

“I'm gonna get my stuff, daddy, I'll be right back.”

“Okay.” She darted away and disappeared into the supply room.

“Have you had her tested for eidetic memory skills?” Miss Strauss asked, directing his attention away from Sofia. “You're right about her reproducing images she's only seen once.”

“Her mother took her in to see a psychiatrist when she was four and reading things well beyond her age group. I'm not sure how I feel about accelerating her education. This school was a compromise. My brother was very similar at her age and sometimes I wonder if –”

“Ready, daddy?” Sofia's jacket sat on her shoulders crookedly and she handed him her backpack. She turned to Miss Strauss. “Thanks for letting me stay today. I'm really excited about our project.”

“You're welcome, Sofia, I'll see you on Monday.” Miss Strauss smiled at them both before Sofia tugged on his hand. Siegrain waved awkwardly with the arm that held the purple backpack and followed his daughter from the classroom.

“You hungry?” he asked, trying to clear the concept of silver-blonde hair slipping from a ponytail out of his head.

“I'm starving.”

Chapter Text

He'd sliced the limes but they never made it into his glass. Siegrain swirled and gin and tonic around the ice cubes that tinkled against the highball crystal. His eyes were glued to the scene beyond the window and across the stretch of pool. He couldn't see details but, truth be told, he didn't want to. The blur of red visible through the steam rolling off the hot tub between the kitchen and the pool was enough.

“The Williams Chase?” Mystogan's voice beside him grated. “Edgy.” He leaned over and eyed the row of unused lime wedges and bottle of tonic. “Jesus, Sieg, really? You're not supposed to have that with just tonic! How can you even stomach it?”

Siegrain shrugged without looking away from the window. He'd been feeling shitty for days. Jenny had taken Sofia with her and her parents out of town to see extended family. Why not give into the wallow completely and kill his tastebuds with expensive gin meant to be mixed?

“You need to let this go. It's been long enough.”

“I don't want to have this discussion,” Siegrain said, filling his mouth with gin too expensive to be wasted on tonic water with no lime.

“You never do. Let it go.”

“You don't know what you're talking about.”

Mystogan sighed and removed his glasses from his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose and Siegrain rolled his eyes preemptively. “Sieg, I am the literal genius of this family. I always know what I'm talking about.”

“Not this time.” Siegrain suddenly smiled crookedly and drained his glass. “Want one?”

Mystogan mirrored his smile and snatched the bottle of Williams Chase. “If we're doing gin and tonic at least use the Tanqueray. Do it right.”

Siegrain meant to watch his brother mix the drinks – Mystogan was excellent at mixing perfect cocktails – but he got distracted. Jellal was out of the pool and offering a hand to Erza. Her new shape made him nostalgic – nostalgic and pathetic and wishing. He wrapped a towel around her and pulled the wet strands of red away from her skin.

“Here,” Mystogan said sharply. Siegrain's eyes fell to the highball glass with a lime wedge floating in between the ice cubes. Something that tasted much better than he'd been drinking moments before hit his tongue just as the backdoor opened. Erza was laughing at something Jellal had said and Siegrain downed the rest of his cocktail. Her ring glinted in the bright lights of the kitchen. Mystogan shook his head and muttered to himself as he vacated the room.

“I left my bag of clean clothes in the car,” Erza said softly to Jellal.

“I'll grab them and meet you upstairs. I left your yogurt and stuff in the fridge.”

Siegrain chewed the ice from his glass irritably. The gin was steeping. “How's the remodel going?” he asked halfheartedly.

“Oh,” Erza sighed and headed for the refrigerator. She pulled out two yogurt cups and a covered bowl of sliced strawberries. “I'm sick of it already. I just want to sleep in my own bed at home and I wanted some peace and quiet before everything becomes permanently loud but I guess that's out of the question. Jellal is driving me nuts.”

“Yeah?”

“He's obsessed with the flooring. He says the chemicals used on new carpets aren't good for babies but I don't know what planet he's living on where newborns crawl. I keep telling him we can have it cleaned before the baby ever touches it but –” Erza sighed again and Siegrain smiled in a way that was altogether himself.

“You know, Erza, if you ever get tired of Jellal, you only have to call me. I'd marry you in a heartbeat.”

“We've been married for two years and have been together for almost ten,” Erza deadpanned.

“So?”

“I'm pregnant with his child.”

“Well, genetically speaking, it's all the same.”

“You're a mess Siegrain.” Erza stared thoughtfully down at her yogurt before dumping it in with the berries.

“Well, my offer stands.”

“Noted.” Erza left him in the kitchen wishing Mystogan would've mixed him more than one drink.

Chapter Text

The puppy was supposed to be for Sofia. She'd begged and begged. Jenny adamantly refused to let the dog go wherever Sofia went so Lady Poof stayed with Siegrain. He'd never had a dog before and it turned out to be a lot more work than his imagination supplied.

Lady Poof needed special food for small dogs, and filtered water. She needed tiny chew toys that he stepped on in the middle of the night. She needed shots and a spay and a collar with sparklies on it. And, much to his dismay, she needed to be walked three times a day in the park across the street. He had to dispose of her poo himself in little plastic bags that pulled awkwardly from a paw shaped container attached to her leash. Sofia, being all of four and three quarters, had no interest in waking up at dawn to walk Lady Poof. So every morning Siegrain, still clad in his plaid pajama pants, would walk her across the street to do her dirty business in the wet grass.

She was far too cute for resentment, though. When Sofia was with her mother, Lady Poof would curl around his ankles as he worked long hours at his desk. She would nose her way into his side when he lounged on the couch watching television. Lady Poof also slept on the corner of his bed every night. Sometimes she would look up at him with her dog eyes and he'd tell her all the things he couldn't ever say out loud.

Of course, Sofia didn't want any other veterinarian but Erza to see Lady Poof. She laughed far too long for Siegrain's tastes the first time they brought the puppy in for shots and a check-up.

“How hard did you have to beg your dad for the puppy, Sofia?” Erza asked, giving the white ball of fluff a thorough once over.

“Not very hard,” Sofia said with a shrug. “He likes her, too.”

“Is that so?” Erza glanced over at him and winked.

“I admit, LP has become a permanent fixture in our lives.”

“LP?” Erza asked with amusement.

“Lady Poof!” Sofia supplied.

“That's a distinguished name for such a small dog.”

“Well,” Sofia said smartly. “She's got a big personality.”

“Like her owner, I guess?”

“Like me!” Sofia clung to Siegrain's side while a tech held Lady Poof still for her vaccinations. He pulled her up and on his hip so she could see exactly what was happening. “Will she be okay?”

“She'll be fine,” Siegrain said quietly in her ear. “She needs us to protect her from sickness.” He let her down on the edge of the exam table and Lady Poof crawled into Sofia's lap.

“How's she doing on potty training?” Erza asked, pulling off her gloves. Siegrain's expression was completely flat.

“Great. Except that I have to take her out at the crack of dawn.” Erza laughed and he could only grumble.

“Does she sleep on a dog bed?”

“Nope!” Sofia piped up. “Daddy lets her sleep in the bed with him. She's always there when I wake up in the morning and find them. She keeps him company at night and when I'm with my mommy.”

“I see.” Erza didn't press the conversation further and he avoided her eyes. He didn't need to confirm that his daughter's fluffy little dog was the only woman in his bed lately.

Lady Poof got a gold star of health and Erza gave Sofia a milk bone for the ride home.

The following weekend when Sofia was with her mother, Siegrain brought home a woman with midnight black hair. She was gone before the sun was fully in the sky but he could not escape the judgement of Lady Poof.

Chapter Text

Acnologia worked a lot. He put in hours at the office and hours at home. Anna never once complained about his schedule, but he could tell she needed help. Over the years a few childcare workers had come and gone – all of them a little worse for the wear at their time of departure. The Fernandes boys were... difficult.

They were enterprising, intelligent children who could work together as a team to achieve a common goal – except that the goal was usually something disastrous. One of the biggest failures in home childcare had been a college aged girl majoring in early education and development. Acnologia had taken one look at her and knew she wouldn't last more than a week but his wife, bless her, needed a break. Jellal by himself wore her out with his clingy nature.

Sugar was a controlled substance in their house and according to Siegrain the box of Lucky Charms had been found on accident via methods still not entirely clear. Something about the center island and a stack of Lego containers. Regardless, once the cereal with the dehydrated marshmallows filled with sugar had been spotted, there was nothing to be done except immediate extraction. Mystogan confessed to organizing the raid but once he'd made it to the top of the refrigerator, he discovered the space between the cabinets and the ceiling and, of course, had to explore and map it for future reference.

Long story short, Mystogan wound up stuck above the cabinets too jittery and excited to get himself down – he'd eaten at least a quarter of the cereal himself before tossing it, open, to the floor for his brothers. Anna heard shrieks from the kitchen and, still dripping wet from what was meant to be a relaxing bath, found Jellal and Siegrain eating marshmallows off the floor and crunching the cereal into a fine powder with their rain boots. The nanny promised she'd only turned her head for a moment but, frankly, a moment was all it ever took for a hellscape to be born.

In hindsight, Acnologia would be able to pinpoint exactly where he went wrong when the subject of little league came up when the boys were eight. He should've ignored that braggart Dragneel and continued on with his day. Instead, he opened his mouth and told a big, fat lie. A lie that he thought for sure Anna would murder him for.

“But I don't want to play soccer,” Mystogan said, folding his arms across his chest.

“Is soccer the one with the black and white ball and grass?” Jellal asked, from his mound of blankets on the couch. From somewhere amongst the folds an empty juice box was tossed. It clattered on the floor and Acnologia's eye twitched. Anna didn't even bother to move from her spot beside him.

“In my home country we called it fútbol but yes, I suppose we can call it soccer.”

“I'm not doing it,” Mystogan groused.

“I'm not doing it if Mystogan's not doing it,” Jellal said, curling further into the couch cushions. Acnologia met the eyes of his wife but her expression was clear enough. She wouldn't be helping him in this.

“I'll do it,” Siegrain said shrugging. “How big are the teams? Are they just boy teams or are there girls, too?”

“Uh –”

“Do I get a uniform? And shoes? The shoes with the spikes?”

“Cleats,” Mystogan supplied.

“Yeah! Cleats! And do I get my own ball?” Siegrain's questions were fired off with increasing amounts of enthusiasm. Acnologia was cautiously encouraged.

“Well, usually the team shares a ball –”

“Share? Why? Why can't I have my own ball?”

“Well –”

“If Sieg plays, I'll play,” Jellal said. Acnologia glanced over at Mystogan who still flatly refused.

“Come on, son, one season? At least give it a try?” His pleas fell on deaf ears. Mystogan shook his head emphatically. Anna suddenly stood with a bright smile.

“I guess that settles that! Who wants dinner?”

Frustrated, but not defeated, Acnologia leaned down to pick up the discarded juice box before following Anna into the kitchen.

She was already in bed when he finally retired to their bedroom. Anna glanced at him over the top of her book.

“I'm sorry the boys weren't into soccer. It's probably for the best.”

“Actually,” Acnologia said with a grin, pulling his shirt off and reaching for his pajamas. “Mystogan came around when I put them to bed.” Anna's suspicious silence could be felt even inside the closet.

“What did you do?” she asked slowly. Accusatorially.

“I really think this'll be good for them, Anna. They're eight now and we both know they live in a social bubble of their own making. The boys need to be around other kids outside of school. Mystogan is already very different from his peers.” Anna's eyes narrowed and Acnologia cleared his throat and headed for the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he finished rinsing his mouth he nearly jumped out of his skin. His wife stood in the bathroom doorway looking peeved.

“Did you bribe him? What did you promise Mystogan?”

“It's not a big deal,” he hedged.

“Tell me right now or –”

“I promised him a terrarium.” Acnologia watched Anna's eyes close slowly.

“A terrarium? You know what that is, right?”

“It's a house for insects.”

“What kind of insects are we talking about?”

Acnologia ducked by her and quickly crawled into bed. Surely she wouldn't murder him in their bed, right? “Ants,” he muttered.

“Ants?” Anna whispered. “You promised Mystogan an ant farm?”

“It's completely safe, Anna. The glass is –”

“You promised Mystogan a glass ant farm?”

“It's just one season, Anna! He'll get bored of the thing in a few months and move on to some other obsession.”

Anna finally sighed and flipped off all the lights on her way back to the bed. Acnologia pulled her against him and enjoyed the floral scent of her hair. He kissed her shoulder and she didn't roll over and throttle him. He supposed that was a good sign.

“It's hot,” Anna said firmly, glaring at him as she pulled a cooler filled with Gatorade and snacks from the back of their SUV.

“It's late summer,” Acnologia corrected, grabbing the set of collapsable chairs.

“There's bugs.” She continued to glare at him only for a second before turning her eyes to the boys. Mystogan had found a cluster of ladybugs crawling over the carpet of clover under a tree. Siegrain had his eyes on the crowd of teammates gathering on the field. Jellal was sprawled out in the grass already whining about the sun in his eyes.

“We are here in the outdoors as a family and that's a good thing.” Acnologia leaned over to kiss his irritated wife on the cheek.

Truthfully, he wasn't as pleased with how the adventure in soccer was turning out as he'd originally anticipated. Every game was a gamble. The previous week Mystogan had disappeared for a full twenty minutes and when they found him his socks and shorts and shoes were covered in dirty creek water. Anna took one look at the snake in his hands and he could tell she wanted to explode. Acnologia glanced up at the sky and silently hoped the looming storm would roll in before the afternoon could turn completely sour.

The game wasn't horrible but they were never going to win. Siegrain showed a good deal of athletic promise but he was too easily distracted. He had a friendly greeting for every little girl on his own team, as well as the other. Jellal had a good few minutes, zipping from one end of the field to the other but then crashed and only seemed interested in the cooler filled with snacks. With a positively depressing difference in score, the game was called when raindrops began to fall. It didn't take long for the field to turn into a slosh. Jellal's smile was shamelessly pleased and, had Acnologia's arms not been full of folding chairs, he might've had time to stop him from flopping backwards into the now cool grass – and mud.

On his way back to the car he found Siegrain in the concessions pavilion drawing elaborate flowers on the hands and arms of his female teammates with what appeared to be permanent marker. The group of girls giggled at everything he said and Acnologia's eye took on a familiar twitch.

“Still think he needs to be more social?” Anna muttered stalking past him with the empty cooler in one hand and a muddy Jellal trailing behind her.

“Siegrain,” Acnologia boomed over the sound of the rain pounding the metal roof of the pavilion. “Where's your brother?”

“With mom,” he said with total nonchalance.

“Not Jellal, your other brother. Where is Mystogan?” Siegrain blinked and glanced around him as if suddenly aware of what was happening.

“Oh! Uh, he may have gone over by the fences. He said there was a hive or something –”

“A hive?”

“Yeah like bees or wasps or whatever.”

“And you didn't tell me or your mother?” Siegrain shrugged again but capped his marker. He stood quickly and separated himself from the girls. “You know how he is, Siegrain!”

“Sorry, dad,” he whispered. “I got distracted.”

Acnologia leaned the chairs against the wall of the pavilion and ran his fingers through Siegrain's hair.

“It's not your fault. It's mine. Go on ahead to the car and I'll –”

“Dad!” Mystogan panted from behind them. “Dad, I found this amazing wasp nest and I think it's empty and can I bring it home?”

Acnologia's eyes rolled to the pointed ceiling of the pavilion. He sucked in a deep breath and wished to god he could sit down right there on the wet, concrete floor and have a long puff on a cigar.

Somehow he managed to get Siegrain and Mystogan back to the car, wet and dirty as they were, along with the chairs. When he slid into the driver's seat, Anna handed over an empty bag of what looked to be the chocolate covered pretzels she kept for herself.

“What's that?” he asked with hesitation.

“It's an empty bag. Apparently Jellal binged on them just before the game and that's why he was bouncing off every available wall all afternoon.”

Acnologia glanced to the backseat and found Jellal with his face smashed against the window glass in a deep sleep. Mystogan gazed with disappointment out in the direction of an empty wasp nest Anna didn't need to know about and Siegrain twirled his marker between his fingers.

“That was fun!” he said.

Acnologia couldn't decide who was the bigger fool, Dragneel for bragging about his sons ability to play halfway decent pee-wee sports, or himself for taking the bait in the first place.

Chapter Text

“Hey!”

Siegrain choked on his water and his fingers squeezed the plastic bottle reflexively. More water flooded his mouth and dribbled down to the front of his shirt. He spun around to find the face of a voice he'd know anywhere.

“I didn't think you'd show up!” Erza said with a smile that was just a little too wide. The honey brown of her eyes was hardly visible. She was drunk.

“Yeah.” Siegrain pawed at the wet spot on his shirt. “I didn't think so either but Mystogan is writing a paper and the house is too quiet – uh –”

“Without Jellal, you mean?”

“He's usually the noise maker. I just needed to get out for a while.” Erza eyed him suspiciously before her lips twitched into a frown.

“Jellal didn't send you here, did he? Sometimes I think he assumes I'm just as needy as he is.”

“Not at all!” When she smiled again, Siegrain followed. He couldn't not smile for her. “I'm here to –”

“Find a date for the evening?”

“Well –” He laughed awkwardly, his eyes glancing around the area. “Yeah, I guess. I certainly wouldn't turn one down.”

“You seem agitated.”

“Am I? There's just a lot happening at home. My parents may be gone for a few weeks but dad never misses an opportunity to let me know how important the last year of high school is.”

Erza's smile widened and she slipped an arm through his. “Don't think about any of that tonight. You're officially on break and it's a perfect night to block all that out.” She led him to a cooler filled with little plastic cups of jello shots. Siegrain watched with a raised eyebrow as Erza sucked down three in a row.

“Uh, you know those are a creeping drunk, right? Maybe –” He cut himself off when she scowled.

“I can hold my liquor, Siegrain. I've got a lot going on, too.”

“Right, drink up, then,” he muttered. Erza's pie-eyed smile returned and she waved at him before disappearing into the crowd.

Siegrain made his way from one end of the beach to the other. By the time he'd arrived back at the mostly empty cooler, the sand had sifted into every crevice of his feet despite the sandals he wore. The party's volume had grown from a low din to a roar. He thought the Agria sisters should've known better. Another hour and the police would shut it all down for alcohol and noise pollution. He didn't want to wait around for the cops. An arrest would make the vein in Acnologia's neck pulse with rage.

He scanned the crowd once more before deciding to bail. Once free of the main throng, a flash of scarlet caught his eye – a flash of scarlet and an unmistakable bulk. Siegrain's thoughts darkened into irritation. His not-so-carefully-hidden crush on Erza was a passing thing amongst his brothers but Simon Mikazuchi's very public hard-on for her was well known in every social circle the Fernandes brothers brushed against. Simon and Jellal hadn't ever been the best of friends but the way he lurked on Erza's edges turned a mild dislike into something ugly.

Erza's back faced a thick cluster of bluebeard shrubs. Her arms were crossed defensively and Simon loomed over her. He laughed loudly and stepped closer as his hand reached up to touch an escaping wisp of her hair. When she batted him away, Simon laughed more. Siegrain recognized a drunken laugh when he heard it. His feet were moving before his brain could decide if it was a good idea.

“C'mon Erza,” Simon said with more than a hint of a slur. “You never even gave me a chance! Jellal doesn't have to know!”

“I don't owe you anything!” Erza hissed. “I've been with him for over a year now and you need to move on!” She jumped when Simon's hand shot out to grasp her shoulder – and jumped again when Siegrain's hand closed around his wrist before he touched her.

“Fuck off, Mikazuchi,” he said in the steadiest tone he could manage.

“And which matching teacup are you?” Simon asked with a sharp grin.

“Guess,” Siegrain spat back, leaning into him with an equally sharp expression. He twisted Simon's wrist and pressed it forward into his chest. Simon didn't move an inch.

“I get it now,” he said in a rumbling whisper. “She doesn't need to tell you apart. I bet she fucks all of you.”

“You –” Erza's rage was palpable.

Simon had several inches on Siegrain and when he leaned down it was all Siegrain could do not to step back. “I bet your own mother –”

When Siegrain's feet made the decision to approach Simon and Erza he hadn't thought it through beyond pulling her out of a situation she clearly didn't want. When his fist balled into a tight knot and swung upwards into Simon's jaw, there wasn't a single consideration to be had. The hit took Simon by surprise and he stumbled back. His jaw rattled as he blinked rapidly.

“This isn't over, Fernandes,” he said, still trying to catch his balance.

“You better hope it is. I don't think sex offender looks good on anyone's record.” Siegrain didn't spare him another thought. He spun around to face Erza.

“You shouldn't have hit him,” she whispered. “It'll just make him angrier.”

“Guys like that are always angry, Erza. He's been throwing temper tantrums since kindergarten.” Siegrain shrugged. “Are you staying?”

“Uh,” Erza's eyes slid over the crowd and she squinted. “I don't see where my ride went.”

“I can take you home if you want. I'm on my way out anyway.” She gazed up at him for a long, thoughtful moment before nodding.

“Yeah, okay.”

She stumbled through the drifts of sand all the way back to Siegrain's car. Her nails would leave indents on his arm but he didn't think about them. It would be better if she didn't have to brace herself against him at all. Siegrain opened the passenger door of his car but Erza hesitated.

“I need to text her,” she blurted. “Mirajane, I mean. I rode with her.” She dug in her pockets but the phone slipped from her fingers and clattered to the rough pavement. Erza laughed and leaned against the side of the car. “I think you were right. The jello shots were creepers.”

“Not many people tell me how right I am,” he said, bending down to pick up the phone. “So I think I'll have to hang on to that one for a while.”

Erza spun around in a circle before falling into the passenger seat. Her eyes drifted closed for a moment. “Can you do it?”

“Can I do what?” He crouched on the ground outside the car and set the phone in her lap.

“Text Mira. I think I'll mess it up.”

Siegrain sighed and gripped the phone with two fingers, trying not to touch her thighs. Erza's phone didn't have a password but he didn't chastise her for it. He found the text thread with Mirajane and tapped out a brief message before replacing the phone in her lap.

“Thanks,” she said with a lopsided smile.

“Anytime.” Siegrain shut the car door carefully and sighed deeply as he headed around the car. Erza's head was resting against the window when he ducked into the driver's seat. She was dozing by the time he found his way back to the main road.

The drive to Erza's house was mostly silent. Siegrain could hear her soft breathing and when he glanced over he saw the window fogging and fading. His eyes snapped back to the road. It was incredibly creepy to watch another person sleep without their knowledge. He wasn't a vampire, for fuck's sake.

Erza lived on a street of houses not too far from his family's residence. These, unlike his own, weren't town homes but they looked to be just as pricey. The porch light was on and Siegrain's skin crawled with the knowledge that Erza's terrifying mother could be watching him from any one of the sheer curtained windows. He took a strengthening breath but the exhale fizzled when Erza spoke in a quiet voice.

“You're not like him,” she said, fumbling her seatbelt clasp.

“What?”

“Simon.” Erza's seatbelt slithered back into its compartment and she met his eyes solidly even though she was still intoxicated. “You aren't like him. I don't want you to think that I think you are.”

“Erza –” Her moment of sobriety passed and her smile turned sloppy again. “Come on,” he sighed. “I'll help you to the door.”

The front walk felt like ten miles. Siegrain's eyes kept flitting to the windows. Before he could get Erza all the way under the covered porch, the front door swung open. A woman with hair a shade darker than Erza's leaned against the frame. Siegrain jumped and nearly let Erza fall into the dahlia bushes. The woman didn't move to help him and a curl of undisturbed smoke drifted upwards. In the low light he could see she was in a silk house robe – and probably nothing else.

“Which one are you?” she asked in a deceptively smooth voice.

“Uh –” Siegrain hefted Erza into his side again, trying to keep her upright. “Siegrain.”

“So not the boyfriend?”

“No.”

“Did you intoxicate my daughter?”

“No, no! I mean, I –” He felt a drop of sweat creep down the back of his neck. “No. I just gave her a ride home.”

“I see.” Erza's mother didn't move from the door frame and Siegrain wilted under her gaze. Erza's body was growing heavier and heavier. After what felt like a painful eternity, she finally stepped aside.

“Bring her in.”

The house smelled of something thick and floral. Siegrain tried not to breathe too much – just in case it was some kind of floating poison. He made it past the foyer but stopped abruptly at the line of carpet. Erza's house was a mystery to him. He'd never been inside before and had no idea where to go.

“So,” she said as she swept past him, stirring the thickly scented air. “You really aren't the boyfriend.” Siegrain felt her eyes on him again and truly wished the air was poisoned so he could die. “The couch is fine. I'll let her sleep it off there.”

Siegrain followed Eileen's pointed finger and carefully laid Erza's seemingly ten thousand pound body across the cushions. She rolled over immediately and faced the back. He'd never felt lighter in his life. When he stood, Eileen had gone. Siegrain stepped carefully over the high pile carpet and nearly shrieked when he rounded the corner back into the foyer. Eileen stood with her hand on the doorknob, waiting to shut him out.

“Have an evening, Not Boyfriend.”

Never, ever had Siegrain felt more like he'd dodged a terrible death than he did when he pulled a u-turn and left Erza's street behind.

Chapter Text

Siegrain watched the rows of ruffles on Sofia's bathing suit flutter in the wind. It would be a chore to wash all the sand out of her hair later but she'd begged and begged to be at the beach. In hindsight a gift of matching buckets and tools before summer actually came had been a mistake. At three, she wasn't an altogether patient child. He stretched his feet out and dug ruts in the sand before sighing loudly.

“Tell me,” Ultear said from beside him. She wasn't gentle with her words but, then, Ultear wasn't ever really very gentle about anything. He appreciated her brutal honesty – even when it left him bleeding.

“He showed me the ring.”

“Jellal?”

“Who else?”

“Was it nice?” Ultear stretched out on her back and sighed. She'd never struck him as a sunbather but her sighs were always indecipherable anyway.

“Erza will love it.”

“When will he ask?”

“Who knows.” Siegrain scooped up a handful of sand and let the particulates dribble from between his fingers. Maybe Sofia was onto something with her sand play. “I doubt her mother will be too keen on her marrying anyone so soon.”

“They've been together for an eternity already.”

“I mean, so soon after graduating.” Siegrain paused and raised his eyes to Sofia again. She still dug happily in the mounds of sand, completely oblivious to the wind. “I don't think she cares for Erza's career choice even though she never misses an opportunity to drop the title. Doctor Scarlet.”

“I still think it's funny her last name is Scarlet.”

Siegrain shrugged. “I don't think she wanted Erza to have her father's last name for whatever reason.”

“Why did she keep it?”

“No clue. As you might imagine, I'm not really too fond of chatting her up.”

“You're just a big chicken. I think she's great.”

“You would.”

“Though,” Ultear said contemplatively. “I admit I don't have much of a taste for the flesh of men.” Siegrain snorted. Sofia giggled raucously and stomped all over her sandcastles. “You're in such a great mood today, I'm glad I came along.”

“Sorry,” he muttered. As he watched Sofia's feet sink into the crumbling walls of sand an idea came to him. “Hey,” he said glancing down at Ultear.

“Hm?”

“Marry me?”

“What?”

“Marry me.” She didn't react at all except to readjust her body on the towel.

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I'm gay, you fool. You don't have a single thing I want.”

“That seems to be a common thing.” Siegrain's gaze shifted back to his daughter. He heard Ultear groan and sit up.

“You shouldn't hold yourself up to Erza's measuring stick, Sieg. It's ridiculous.”

“It's hard not to do that when she's in love with someone who is biologically identical to me.”

“You need to get out more.”

“I get out plenty.”

Ultear was silent for several moments too long. The sound of the waves crashing and rolling up on the beach roared in his ears. He hated that he'd exposed himself to her but Ultear was truly the safest friend he had.

“I'm not talking about the usual getting out,” she said in a voice barely audible above the waves. “You're never going to find what you want that way.”

“I don't want to talk about it anymore.” Siegrain stood abruptly and held out a hand for Ultear. She took it and didn't press him further.

Sofia's face pressed sleepily into the protective side of her car seat on the drive home. Jenny would be by the following morning to pick her up and Siegrain already felt the creeping emptiness his daughter left behind when she was on her mother's time.

Chapter Text

The first time he kissed her he wondered if he'd ever really kissed anyone before. Her lips were soft and giving. She let him pull her crushingly close and returned all of his kisses with a force he didn't quite expect. He wasn't used to that. Siegrain wasn't used to being taken.

When they'd met her moonlight colored hair had been short and wispy. He'd loved the way it hung around her face perfectly. Now, the strands brushed her shoulders and he loved it more. Siegrain pulled away from her plum flavored lips and focused on her face. He didn't know what to do. None of his other usual things would work. He absolutely could not invite her home and nail her on the couch. Nor could he crawl over her in the backseat of his car and make the frame squeak – that wouldn't work regardless. Siegrain knew he was too old to even attempt such a thing.

“Siegrain?” her voice drew a smile across his lips and he kissed her again. “I was afraid I'd lost you?” she whispered with a light laugh.

“Lost me? I don't think that's possible.”

“You're a cheese ball, you know that?”

“Want to be my cracker?” The rational part of him winced but she smiled even wider.

“If you keep cracking dumb jokes I'm going to make you start calling me Miss Strauss again.”

“If that's what you're into,” he murmured, dropping a kiss on the apples of her cheeks and the edge of her jaw. “When can I see you again?”

“This weekend?” her voice was nothing but a breath when his lips fell to her neck.

“I'll have Sofia this weekend.”

“Oh!” She stiffened but her fingers tightened in the lapels of his coat. “I don't want to intrude.”

“Are you kidding? She loves you. And –” Siegrain broke away from her body to look down into the blue eyes that he now preferred over any other color. “I know this is new and I don't want to bury you in the messes of my life but it's important to me that Sofia isn't a thing we tiptoe around. She's the biggest, most important part of my life.” His heart thudded violently at the possibility of her explaining that she needed to be his number one. Instead, she slid her arms around his neck.

“You're becoming a problem for me,” she whispered. “A horrible but amazing problem. Call me on Saturday and we'll make plans.” She kissed him once more and stepped back. His face was warm and Siegrain thought he might float away even after she'd turned to enter her apartment building.

“Goodnight, Lisanna,” he said after the glass doors had already shut behind her.

Chapter Text

He heard the knocking first and then the jiggling of the door knob. His skin was covered in a sheen of sticky sweat but he couldn't care. What was sweat compared to the pounding of his head or the dryness of his mouth? Siegain blinked and stared past the figures approaching his bed to the blank space where his door used to be.

“Hey are you alright?” a voice similar to his own asked.

“Of course he's not alright,” a more irritated female voice said.

“He's been in bed since yesterday,” a third person chimed in. This one was muffled and Siegrain could barely make out a splash of white over the person's face. “He didn't look so bad last night, though.”

“Why are you wearing that?” the first voice asked with some level of disgust. Siegrain squinted and then sighed. It was no use. He was clearly seeing double. Two identical heads of blue hair and one burst of red were lining the side of his bed.

“It's a mask,” the third voice said indignantly. “I don't want to get sick, do I? I have a lecture in two hours and a paper due next week. I can't afford to get sick.”

“Those masks don't work, Mystogan. I read an article about it.”

Siegrain's head swam. Mystogan. That's right. He had a brother. And another brother who looked the exact same.

“I've been wearing masks for the last two days. I know how to recognize the symptoms of fever incubation, Jellal.”

“Shut up, both of you.” Erza. Siegrain smiled in his feverish stupor. She pressed cool fingers to his forehead. “He's burning up. Get him something.”

“It's all in mom's bathroom.” Mystogan said, his hair disappearing from Siegrain's view. “I have to go. He'll be fine.”

“Good grief. Why does this always happen when my parents are out of town?” Jellal's tone was whining and Siegrain missed the touch of Erza's fingers immediately.

“Really?” she prodded. “You're going to gripe? You're the neediest person in this whole house and you're complaining about taking care of this one for a day or two?” A fan of red spun across his vision and the voices faded a little.

“Aw, come on, Erza, I didn't mean it like that! I don't mind!”

Siegrain's ears strained to hear but his eyes slid closed. The voices returned and he felt a cool rag press against his forehead. Jellal's hand closed around his arm and hauled him into a sitting position. Everything spun.

“Be gentle,” Erza commanded. “It's a good thing you're not the one going into medicine. You have a terrible bedside manner.”

Now that he was in a sitting position he could see Mystogn had truly gone. Erza sat on the edge of his bed and poured a measure of purple syrup into a cup. He took it from her and thought himself very lucky to not have spilled it. Jellal released his arm and let him fall back into the pillows.

“Did you feel bad all day yesterday?” Erza asked.

“I don't think so. I was fine on Sunday.”

“Sieg –” she muttered, handing off the now warm rag to Jellal and pointing to the bathroom. “It's Tuesday. You missed school yesterday.”

“Did I?” The cool rag was back but he liked Erza's voice more. She reached across him to the bedside table. The bottle of green syrup looked familiar.

“Did you take some of this? It's got a lot of dextromethorphin in it. I bet this is why you slept all day yesterday.”

“Damn,” Jellal said under his breath, grabbing the bottle. “This is that stuff dad brought back from up north. They can't even sell it here anymore. How much of this did you take, Sieg?”

“I dunno,” Siegrain whispered. He felt tired.

“Well, you needed the sleep, I guess. Do you have other symptoms?”

“Symptoms?”

“Like vomiting or anything?” Erza's voice drew him back from the fog of sleep. “What do you need?”

Siegrain's mouth spread into a stupid grin and the words just kind of tripped from his lips. “A sponge bath would be nice.”

“I can do that, no problem.” Jellal reached for his arm again and Erza snorted.

“I think he'll be fine. Keep an eye on him.”

“What? I have to go to school, too!”

“No, you're going to stay and give Siegrain the sponge bath he asked for. Email your teachers for your work and I'll be by tonight with something he can eat.”

Siegrain rolled over just in time to miss Erza leaving a kiss on Jellal's cheek. His brother's heavy sigh came after the door shut behind her.

“Are you really gonna make me give you a sponge bath?”

“Just get me some water and we'll call it good,” Siegrain muttered. He didn't wait for Jellal to return with the water before drifting back into a feverish sleep.

Chapter Text

He waited a full three months to gift Lisanna the blue lace lingerie. Her smile was sly and she kissed him on the cheek before leaving him to dress for work. He waited until she was gone and then stared at the closed front door of his condo in confusion. Perhaps he should've given it to her the night before? Maybe then he'd have had the opportunity to see the lace on her body? There was no time for contemplation, though, Thursday meetings wouldn't wait.

Siegrain tapped his finger on the edge of his laptop and sighed. The best part of his job was the travel and working from home most of the time. He was usually free to take Sofia to any doctor's appointments or pick her up if she was sick. The worst part was, hands down, the weekly meetings. Every Thursday he dragged himself into the office – freshly dressed, showered, and pressed – for a breakdown of projects and deadlines. On this particular day upper management was in the process of testing new software and the meeting had come to a jumbled halt of spinning dots of rainbow. He half-wished he'd have called in sick to spend the afternoon with Lisanna. Summers off were an enviable perk of teaching.

Vibration from his pocket drew his attention and, without consideration, Siegrain fished it out. He smiled even as a group of interns fussed over the projector and laptop. When he opened the message, though, his face and the tips of his ears burned. A quick glance around the table assured him no one was looking but he felt exposed. Almost as exposed as Lisanna in the picture she'd sent.

The blue lace complimented her pale skin perfectly and tousled strands of silver brushed the blankets on her bed. Another picture popped up and he jumped. This one showed the ribbons that held the piece together on her back undone and loose. Her pink tipped fingernails held her hair to the side and Siegrain's eye twitched. His supervisor was speaking again but he could only stare at the face of his phone in both horror and intrigue.

'Come over tonight.'

He didn't wait two seconds before agreeing and stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

Lisanna's apartment was in an artsier part of town. Still in the city center but on a street dotted with independent, local businesses. When she answered her door, a spoon hung from her mouth and she held a pint of ice cream in her hand. Her body was covered in cotton pajama pants and a tank top.

“You made it!” she said, pulling the spoon from between her lips. “I was worried you'd get lost.”

“Lost?” he asked, stepping inside. “No. But I did almost catch fire today. Some crazy lady sent me a series of very scandalous selfies.”

“Did she? Weird.”

Siegrain followed Lisanna into her kitchen and watched as she deposited the spoon into the sink and returned the ice cream to the freezer.

“The lace was pretty familiar, though. I know I've seen it somewhere?”

“Have you?” Lisanna tugged his wrinkled work shirt from his waistband and started to pop the buttons from their holes with a grin.

“I was hoping she would be feeling generous to show me in person.”

“I'm afraid you're fresh out of luck on that front.” He let her push the shirt over his shoulders and helped her out with the t-shirt underneath.

“Out of luck?”

“Yep. The lingerie was a gift to me, which means I get to decide how you see it on me.”

“But –”

“Maybe it'll help you get through Thursdays a little easier?” She grinned up at him and rose on her toes to leave a kiss on his neck.

“But I want to see you in person.”

“You're seeing me in person right now.” Lisanna tugged at his belt buckle and he felt the couch hit the back of his knees. Siegrain let himself fall back to the couch and grinned, despite his confusion, when she let her pajama pants pool around her ankles.

“It's not the same thing, though.” She slid her knees to either side of his hips and pressed her chest against his.

“Let me help you out, Sieg,” Lisanna whispered against his lips. “You buy the lingerie, any kind you like, and I'll wear it. But I get to decide when and where. Those are the rules.”

“So I don't get to see you wear it except when you want?”

“Exactly.”

Siegrain's mind still couldn't quite understand what she meant but he let it go. It was hard to think when she was on top of him.

After the second set of fancy, whispering silks he bought her, Siegrain stopped giving her the lingerie in person and simply had it delivered. She only ever sent him photos when she knew he was busy and, truth be told, he liked the game very much.

Lisanna enjoyed her control and, as she was the baby of her family, he didn't think she'd been granted an overwhelming amount of it growing up. He had a long wishlist of little lacy things he'd send her in no particular order and like clockwork the pictures would pop up on his phone every Thursday. When he traveled they would be waiting for him the instant he stepped off the plane.

Maybe one day he'd see the lingerie in person. Maybe not. For the first time in his life he wasn't chasing a ghost. Lisanna was very real and gave as much as he did. He didn't worry about her eye wandering elsewhere and she'd never once questioned him about the many notches in his bedposts. It just... never came up. Siegrain loved the juxtaposition of the racy girl on his phone and the one who waited for him at home in her pajamas with lips tasting of caramel ice cream.

Chapter Text

Siegrain dumped the ice from his glass into the sink and debated on another drink. The prospect of Sofia dragging him out of bed at sunrise stayed his hand. Christmas was her favorite and he didn't want to ruin the morning with a hangover. Four was old enough for her to spot a bad mood on him a mile away.

“Are you out for the night?” Mystogan asked dumping his own ice and reaching for the bottle of Bailey's. “Jellal thinks he can beat me at cards tonight. He's about to find out what impossible truly means.”

“Wasn't it you who got his ass handed to him by a four year old in Uno earlier?” Siegrain muttered. “Or was that a fourth brother I don't know about?”

“Uno is an unsophisticated game for children,” Mystogan said in an affronted tone. “I didn't want to hurt Sofia's feelings.”

“You didn't want to hurt her feelings twice in a row?”

“Why don't you put some money where your mouth is?”

“No thanks.” A smirk tugged at the edge of his lips. “I know better than to play cards with a cheat.”

“I do not cheat!”

“I'm pretty sure most casinos consider counting cards a form of cheating. I've seen you over there teaching my daughter how to do it, too. Don't think I missed it.”

“That's not counting cards, Sieg. I'm teaching her about pattern sequences.”

“Just don't take her to Vegas. Jenny will have my head on a pole.”

“So are you playing with us or not? Jellal's had four Old Fashioned's and you know what a light weight he is.”

“Nah. I gotta get Sofia to bed. She'll be up at the crack of dawn.”

Mystogan's smile turned wistful. “It's different having a kid around for Christmas now that she's old enough not to try and eat the pine needles.” He shrugged. “It's like the holiday means more than –”

“Wiping the floor with a drunk brother at five card stud?”

“I don't think anything can take away my joy for that.”

“Enjoy it, then. I'm going to bed.” Siegrain left Mystogan to mix his drinks and wandered past Jellal who, in an attempt to shuffle a deck of cards, dropped every last one of them in his lap. Anna and Erza could be found at the quiet end of the dining table flipping the pages of photo albums. Over the years his mother had been very big on keeping a print version of her digital collection. She'd taken over the task of handling his pictures of Sofia and Siegrain was more than happy to let her do it.

With the dining room behind him, Siegrain closed in on the sitting room. The sounds of softly tapped piano keys and an awkward tune floated down the hallway. He froze just around the corner and listened to a singing voice he hadn't heard in many, many years. The language wasn't one he could speak with any degree of fluency but he could pick out enough words to know it was a holiday hymn. The small soprano overtone filled his chest with an emotion he couldn't quite name.

“Why's this one curly and this one not?” Sofia asked as Acnologia, quite obviously, took over the keys.

“This one is a treble clef and the other the base.”

“Like girls and boys?” The deep but gentle laugh almost made Siegrain peek around the corner just to make sure Sofia was with his father and not an alien perhaps masquerading as his father.

“No, nieta, not like girls and boys. They are both parts of the same whole. Music cannot be complete without either one.”

“Will you teach me when my fingers are bigger?”

“I will teach you whatever you wish to learn, whenever you wish to learn it.”

“Did you teach my dad to play?” The silence between the question and answer was brief but Siegrain cringed.

“I taught all my boys to play once upon a time but they were wild little things and didn't have much patience for music.”

“Then can it be something special?” Sofia asked quietly. “Just for you and me?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you're an angel?”

“Only you, abuelito.” The sound of their private laughter stole Siegrain's breath. Somehow he'd managed to bury all the soft memories of his father and keep only the places where they clashed in the front. He dug around in his own head and dredged out something very old and almost forgotten.

Acnologia always carried a scent of tobacco and vanilla. Siegrain remembered the smell as well as a pair of worn but younger hands positioning his own over the keys of the very same piano.

“You must be patient with yourself, Siegrain, the music will wait for you to catch up.”

“When can I play the more exciting stuff?”

“You have to learn the slow before you can learn the fast.”

He'd never been a patient child and none of his brothers were musically inclined. Mystogan's attempt had begun as a way just to prove that he could but it hadn't been the same music as what their father played late into the night while he burned his cigars and drank his whiskey neat alone in the sitting room. The notes were the same but the music was not.

Siegran stuffed his hands in his pockets and drew himself out of the moment of nostalgia. He finally rounded the corner of the sitting room and cleared his throat.

“Are you ready for bed Sofia? It's the last sleep before Christmas.” She spun around on the bench and smiled.

“I'm ready.” Sofia turned to Acnologia and utterly without compunction or guile, she wrapped her arms around him and whispered, “Goodnight, abuelito. I'll see you in the morning.”

Sofia slid off the bench and tugged Siegrain's hand out of his pocket to lead him upstairs to the bedroom that used to be his. From the corner of his eye he thought he saw a fond smile stretch across his father's face. And if it weren't for the cliché of magical things happening on Christmas, Siegrain wouldn't have believed the man capable of such a grin.

Chapter Text

The very best part of the day was watching Sofia take her careful, metered little steps down the aisle. The specially made dress was luminescent and she dropped handfuls of white and pink rose petals every inch of the way. Her blonde hair had been curled into perfect ringlets that tumbled over her shoulders and she made sure everyone knew what an effort it was to stay pretty and clean for Erza’s big day.

Erza’s Big Day. Siegrain tried not to think of the wedding as a harsh finality on the horizon but that’s exactly what it was. He’d never dared to seriously consider a world where Erza wasn’t in love with his brother. Even in the thickness of his late night fantasies, Siegrain knew there wasn’t even a hint of realism. Despite knowing all this, though, he hadn’t bothered to keep track of milestones until Jellal showed him the ring he’d bought two years prior and suddenly Siegrain felt the weight of six years on his heart. Six years plus two more. Sometimes Siegrain thought Jellal to be a total idiot. He’d have married Erza the day he met her all those years ago standing in the kitchen with a handful of tangerine wedges in his mouth.

Sofia reached the end of the aisle and took his hand on the bottom step. She smiled up at him and Siegrain smiled back. He just needed to make it through the ceremony and then he could hit the bar. Mystogan stood one step above him in an identical suit. His mother sat on the front row in a lavender dress that made her hair glow under the lights of the cathedral. Acnologia had a pocket full of tissues - Anna was a crier. On the opposite side, Eileen appeared as regal as ever. Though her dress was a plain cream color, she carried herself as one might expect of royalty. Her crimson hair had been twisted stylishly. Not for the first time Siegrain wondered about Erza’s father. As if she’d guessed his train of thought, Eileen’s eyes needled him briefly before she smiled in a way that could only be considered kind. Siegrain glanced down just in time to catch Sofia waving at her.

The music suddenly swelled and Jellal’s face lit up. Erza was already a testament to perfection but her white dress with layers upon layers of tulle only served to, somehow, make her even more beautiful. She only had eyes for Jellal and with every step she took Siegrain’s stomach dug further and further into the floor of the church.

A mild panic built in his chest throughout the ceremony and exploded deafeningly when the priest announced them man and wife. Siegrain watched Erza kiss his brother and couldn’t quite swallow his sadness. The eruption of applause and the squealing of Sofia did help him push it away, though.

Low music filled the reception hall and the sun left nothing but an orange glow above the horizon. Sofia had stretched out over a row of chairs and fell asleep with her head in Anna’s lap an hour before. Siegrain nursed a vodka cranberry at the bar - heavy on the vodka, easy on the cranberry. He was trying his level best to keep his eyes off the new Mrs. Fernandes slow dancing with Jellal on the far end of the room.

A bouquet of pink and white roses - Erza’s bouquet - flopped on the bar in front of him and Siegrain jumped. The brunette beside him ordered herself a scotch and sighed deeply. When she had her drink in hand, she turned to grin at Siegrain.

“Doesn’t matter how many of these things I attend, I always wind up catching the damn flowers. One of these days I’m gonna send the universe straight to voicemail.”

“You and me both,” Siegrain muttered, still avoiding the far side of the room.

“So how many of you are there besides him?” she asked, taking much more than a sip of scotch and nodding toward Jellal. Siegrain grinned and felt a surge of indulgent cheek.

“Why? You looking for a twin fantasy?”

“Hardly,” the woman snorted. “I don’t do threeways with two dudes. Too many dicks on the dance floor for me.”

“I’m open for suggestions.”

“That wasn’t an offer, Blue.”

“Blue?” Siegrain raised an eyebrow and signaled the bartender. He’d need at least one more drink to deal with this woman.

“I’m not about to learn all your names. Too much work.” Her lips twitched upwards into a smirk. “Are you really identical?”

“There’s three of us and we’re identical everywhere except the brain.”

“Yeah, I got that. There’s one of you outside going on about the genetic markers of ADHD.”

“That would be Mystogan. He talks a lot.”

“And the one who married Erza? Is he a know it all too? I only met him a few times back in college.”

Siegrain laughed and swirled the ice in his cup. “No, he’s got separation anxiety like a puppy. I don’t know how Erza stands it.”

“And you?” Her arm slid past the bouquet on the bar and Siegrain could see in her eyes she was just as tipsy as himself.

“I’m the fun one.”

The brunette smiled at him and polished off her scotch. She made no move for the bouquet as she stepped around him but tossed out in a low voice, “I think I’m going to go have a look in the coat room for my jacket. There’s a chill outside and I’m ready to head out.”

“Right,” Siegrain muttered. He chugged the last of his vodka cranberry and followed the woman from the main hall into the foyer. He thanked all the gods that Erza hadn’t demanded the men in the wedding party wear suits with cummerbunds.

She said her name was Cana but he didn’t plan on remembering it.

By the time Siegrain got Sofia into bed the hour was extremely late. Wrangling her out of the organza dress and into a nightgown would’ve been easier if he hadn’t had that last vodka cranberry. His final effort of the day was returning the dress to the plastic zipper bag so Jenny could store it away safely - or whatever she did with Sofia’s fancy clothing that would eventually be too small.

Siegrain left his polished shoes on the kitchen floor and grabbed a Malbec from the rack above his refrigerator. The color was a deep red and its bitterness suited his mood. He tugged at the bowtie around his neck and left it on the dining table. When he returned to his bedroom his shirt and trousers hung open.

He lost his taste for wine two-thirds of the way through the bottle. Red wine always brought him the most melancholy dreams.

Chapter Text

“Hey,” Siegrain looked up from his laptop at Jellal, who was peeking into his room.

“What?”

“Come hang out with us. Erza brought some really nice stuff from her mom.”

“No thanks.” The last thing he wanted to do was be a third wheel. He also didn’t care do loosen his tongue with whatever Erza had brought and accidentally say some unintended things about Simon and the party.

“Come on,” Jellal whined. “Don’t be a wet blanket.”

“I have a book report and so do you.”

“Really?” Jellal said with a flat expression. “You’re going to choose homework over your own brother?”

“Go bug Mystogan.”

“He’s asleep. Come on, Sieg. You’ll miss this when we all go to college.”

Siegrain rolled his eyes to the ceiling and chastised himself before closing his laptop and pulling on a t-shirt. Jellal’s smile was ridiculously pleased. The third floor of the town house belonged to the three of them and the rest of the house had been silent for hours. Jellal’s room was furthest from the stairs and had a window that faced the back garden. Erza sat crosslegged on Jellal’s bed as if she belonged there but she smiled when Siegrain joined them.

The liqueur she’d brought was far to sweet and tasted disgusting but he downed it anyway.

“Did you sneak out?” Siegrain asked. “I didn’t think your mom would be the type to allow sleepovers.”

“She’s away for the weekend,” Erza said lightly. “She doesn’t know I’m here.”

Siegrain glanced over at Jellal who paled slightly at the mention of deceiving Erza’s mother. He enjoyed his brother’s fear of the woman even though he had his own terror of her.

“Where’d she go?”

“Italy, I think? She’d got some old friends there.”

“Can we maybe talk about something else?” Jellal asked uneasily. Erza laughed and poked him in the shoulder with her foot. Siegrain was feeling petty.

“So what’s up with your mom anyway? What’s she do?”

“Oh,” Erza breathed inspecting the deep purple color of the liqueur. “She used to be a dancer.”

“Like the kind with the poles?” The sound of Erza’s giggles drew a smile from him despite his mood.

“No, ballet. She was with a troupe in Europe for a while before everything went south.”

“What happened?” The questions had started out as a way to irritate Jellal for interrupting his study but now he was curious.

“Well -“ Erza’s smile turned wicked. “When she was nineteen she had an affair with the director of the troupe. She was young and stupid and I guess he said all the right things. Anyway, she got pregnant.”

“With you?”

“Yep. He told her she needed to have an abortion or he’d leave her in the city with no job or money to get home. And my mom, being my mom, promptly told him to get fucked.” Erza rearranged Jellal’s pillows and stretched across the bed on her side. “Then she told his wife what had been going on. Apparently, his wife wasn’t super happy in the marriage. I don’t know much about them except that the director was significantly older than my mom and so was the wife.”

Siegrain found himself intrigued. He hadn’t ever thought of Eileen as a person with actual human experiences. He’d always assumed Erza had come about by some immaculate conception in a room where men were forbidden.

“The director’s wife divorced him immediately and because of what he’d done, he lost most of his assets. Apparently, he had a habit of preying on the young dancers in exchange for casting favors. She took control of the dance troupe and paid my mother a lump sum of cash so she could resettle her life. My mom came back here and had me.”

“Wow. That’s dramatic.” Erza surprised him by suddenly sitting up and leaning forward. She’d had more than enough of the raspberry liqueur and it showed in her wide eyes.

“That’s not the end. A few years ago mom got some legal papers served to her and she took a spur of the moment trip to Prague. When she came back we were a hell of a lot richer. She never told me what happened but I did have a peek at the papers.” She paused for drama and even Jellal seemed cautiously interested. “The ex-wife died and left my mom an enormous art collection. She went to Prague so she could sell it all off to a private collector. Once everything was handled we moved here.”

“That’s -“

“Unbelievable?” Erza offered. “I used to get a lot of untagged gifts for Christmas every year. Handmade stuff, very nice. I always wondered where it came from. Mom didn’t tell me any of this until she came home.”

“You never wondered about your dad?”

Erza shrugged but Jellal glared at him. “Not really. She always told me he wasn’t worth our time.”

“What happened to the dance troupe?” Siegrain found himself asking.

“I don’t know. There’s a box of old photographs in the garage but I’ve never dug around in there. I imagine there’s some of mom in there before she had me. “

“Do you dance?”

Jellal grimaced and Erza blushed. “No,” he said flatly. “She doesn’t.”

“I’m not that bad,” Erza protested.

“My foot still hurts sometimes from where your heel stabbed me last year at prom.”

“It was an accident! I didn’t even want-“

“You two were at prom?” Siegrain asked absently. “Huh. I don’t remember seeing you.” He did. He’d never forget Erza’s silver dress and how perfect she’d looked on Jellal’s arm.

“We all left in the same limo, Sieg.”

“I only remember the back seat of what’s-her-face’s brother’s Cadillac.”

“You’re horrible.” Jellal muttered but let it go.

“So anyway,” Siegrain steered the conversation away from Erza’s silver dress that he absolutely remembered in vivid detail. “I guess the moral of this whole story is that key to success in life is to stick it to some asshole who cheats on his wife.”

“Maybe.” Erza said, settling back into the pillows. Her blinks were just a little too long.

Jellal suddenly scowled. “I would never cheat on you.”

“Aw,” Erza purred, leaning over the edge of the bed to kiss his cheek. Her hair brushed over Jellal’s shoulder and, like always, his fingers were in it. Siegrain’s stomach turned. “I would never do that to you… unless I caught you red handed.”

“Erza -“ Jellal gazed up at her with the same wide, intoxicated eyes. “I wouldn’t dream of -“

“Ugh,” Siegrain growled with disgust. “Get a room.” He stood and finished off the last bit of liqueur in his glass. “Or better yet, stay in this one.”

The only sound Siegrain heard from Jellal’s room after he’d returned to his own was a soft laughter. To his credit, he did try and ignore it before sending his favorite almost red head a series of very scandalous pictures on Snapchat. Sherry responded with her own and he thought maybe he wouldn’t have to spend the weekend alone. She wasn’t Erza but he didn’t want her to be.

Chapter Text

Jellal’s expression of genuine horror and concern fueled their cruel little fire. Siegrain nudged Mystogan with his elbow.

“I’m sorry, Jellal, but you’ve been made redundant,” Mystogan said, nudging his glasses up on his nose in all seriousness.

“Re-redugant?” Jellal gasped. “What’s that mean?”

“It means you won’t be mom’s favorite anymore,” Siegrain added with nonchalance. “You’re being replaced with Lucy.”

“Lucy?”

“Yep. She’s not really our cousin.”

“She’s actually mom and dad’s but they didn’t tell you. That’s why she lives with Aunt Layla and Uncle Jude.” Mystogan seemed to pick up steam. “It’s called a temporary custody agreement.”

“Temporary custody agreement?” Jellal’s voice was nothing but a horrified whisper.

“Yep. They decided they had too many of us and that’s why they had Lucy.” Siegrain flopped onto the bottom bunk of their bed casually.

“But -“

“We didn’t want to tell you but they’re coming over this weekend to make the exchange.”

“Exchange?!”

“Yeah, we can still write letters and stuff. It’s not a big deal.” Mystogan his hands in his pockets.

“You’re lying!” Jellal screeched. “I don’t believe you!” He took off down the hall and stairs shrieking the whole way. “Mom! Mom! Mommy!”

Mystogan turned to Siegrain. “Do you think he bought it?”

“Of course,” Siegrain said in between fits of laughter. “He’s a sucker!”

The dinner table that evening was a quiet affair. Jellal sat in his chair not six inches away from Anna across the table grinning smugly at his brothers - who positively wilted under their mother’s glare.

Later, just before bed, she appeared in the doorway of their shared bathroom. Mystogan and Siegrain avoided her eyes as they attempted to brush their teeth as usual.

“I hope you’re happy,” she said sternly. “You’ve made your brother very upset. Where on earth did you even come up with such an idea?”

Mystogan shuffled his feet but Siegrain couldn’t find even a speck of shame inside of himself. He shrugged.

“Telenovelas,” he stated simply. “Dad left one on the other night and -“

“The other night?” Anna demanded. Siegrain realized his mistake. “Your father only watches Spanish television after midnight.”

“Uh,” he floundered. “Well -“

“No Xbox for you for a month, Siegrain. And Mystogan -“ She faltered for the first time. “No… no more… I’ll decide later your punishment. For now you can go ahead and forget about that trip to the nature reserve at the end of the month!”

“Aw, mom -“ Anna’s expression cut him off. She spun around and left them in the bathroom still clutching their toothbrushes.

“I don’t know what to do with those boys,” Anna said frustratedly.

“They’re children,” Acnologia said softly from the bathroom. “Six is a cruel age. Children can be mean.”

“But to each other? What they said to Jellal was too much!”

“They’ll learn to be better. Did you lay out a proper punishment?” When he joined her in bed, she avoided his touch.

“I’m taking away Siegrain’s Xbox but I don’t know what to do about Mystogan. He doesn’t have easily squeezable interests.”

“I think it’s time they had their own rooms. Less space for scheming.”

A small knock on the door interrupted their conversation and Jellal peeked inside. “Can I sleep in here?” he asked quietly.

Acnologia sighed and Anna’s shoulders drooped. “Sure, sweetie, come on.” She threw back the covers and allowed her neediest child to crawl between them.

Long after her husband and son had fallen asleep, Anna stewed. She didn’t know if separate rooms would help at all but maybe it would encourage independence for the little boy next to her who was nothing but elbows and knees.

Chapter Text

Jellal tugged at the collar buttoned snugly at his neck. He desperately wanted to unbutton it but Anna’s words stuck with him.

“You only get one chance to make a first impression, Jellal. You can handle a collar for an hour or two.” He wanted to impress Erza’s mother so he stuffed his hands into his pockets to keep them off his neck. Erza’s front door swung open and her smile chased away his irritation.

“You made it!” She reached for his hand.

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Jellal leaned in and kissed her cheek.

“Well, my mom -“ Erza paused and bit her lip before smiling once more. “It doesn’t matter, you’re here.” She pulled him into the house and shut the door behind them.

Siegrain grinned and mashed the buttons on the controller as fast as he could. The television screen exploded in a mess of gunfire, smoke, and blood.

“Yes!” he howled, jumping to his feet. “I told you guys -“ Siegrain lept back when his bedroom door flew open and Anna rushed inside, her mouth already moving at light speed. “Wait, what?” He peeled the headphones off his ears and tried to catch up.

“Jellal is in the hospital!” she cried. “We have to go now!”

“Hospital? What?”

“He’s there and we have to go and I can’t find any of the pens!”

“Mom, I can’t understand you! What’s happening?”

Anna froze and grasped his shoulders painfully tight. “Your brother is in the hospital and we have to leave now.” She threw open his closet and pressed a pair of flip flops into his chest before disappearing around the corner.

Siegrain stood in the middle of his room staring after her before finally switching off the Xbox and following his mother down the hallway and stairs.

“Where’s dad and Mystogan?”

“They were up at your brother’s school for something, whatever, I don’t know, but now they’re on their way. We’ll meet there. Have you got -“ Anna spun around and Siegrain felt all the questions melt right off his tongue. He’d never seen his mother so frantic. “We need pens,” she whispered.

“For Jellal? Mom, he’s already at the hospital. They have that stuff there. Let’s go.” Siegrain pried the car keys from her hands and led the way to the garage. She didn’t question whether or not he’d be okay to drive. Anna wordlessly slid into the passenger seat and wrung her hands all the way to the hospital.

XXX

The lights in the ER were bright and Anna flew straight into the waiting arms of Acnologia. He smoothed her hair but her tears wouldn’t be calmed. Mystogan’s face was placid but Siegrain wasn’t fooled.

“What happened?” he whispered, taking a chair beside his brother.

“I dunno. We got a frantic call from mom and here we are. Something about Jellal and dinner with Erza.”

“Do you think her mom tried to eat him?” Siegrain muttered, letting his head fall back against the wall. Mystogan pursed his lips.

“Is now really the time for cannibalism jokes?”

“Well,” Siegrain said with a lopsided grin. “I don’t think it’s ever really the time for cannibalism jokes.”

“Mister Fernandes?” a nurse asked softly.

“Yes.” Acnologia stood and Anna popped up next to him, still clutching at his arm.

“You all can come back now. We’ve stabilized him.”

“Can you tell us what happened?” Anna breathed.

“Your son ingested some peanut sauce according to his girlfriend. He actually chewed and swallowed a forkful of chicken with the sauce on it.” The nurse paused and glanced over the chart in her hands. “It might seem silly of me to ask but he does know he has a moderate to severe peanut allergy, right?”

“He knows,” Acnologia said dryly. “We will get to the bottom of this.”

“Right. Well, if you’ll all just follow me.” The nurse led them down a hallway lined with beds separated by curtains and into a private room. Jellal’s previously tidy dress shirt hung open to his mid-chest and he waved awkwardly as his family filed into the room. Erza’s face was red and puffy, and Eileen brooded from the corner.

“Oh, Jellal,” Anna said, overflowing with tears again. “Why?”

“Hey, mom,” he said awkwardly accepting her with as much embarrassed grace as possible. “I’m fine.”

“Your mother didn’t ask you if you were fine,” Acnologia said in a steady voice. “Why did you knowingly ingest a thing you are allergic to?”

“It’s not his fault,” Erza said with a sadness that Siegrain felt in the marrow of his bones. Even though her face was swollen with tears she struck him as the most beautiful thing on Earth. “It’s mine.”

“Yours?” Acnologia asked, quirking an eyebrow disbelievingly. Eileen sighed loudly from her corner.

“These children are both incredibly foolish. The fault lies with me. I unknowingly served the chicken and peanut sauce. I should’ve asked if the boy had allergies before preparing dinner.”

“Jellal knows of his allergy,” Acnologia said cautiously. “He knows what peanut products look and smell like. Surely the sauce wasn’t that unrecognizable?”

“It wasn’t,” Jellal muttered almost inaudibly. The entire room fell silent. “I mean, I knew it was peanut sauce.”

Anna stood back and glared. “Excuse me? Jellal, do you have a death wish?”

“No,” he whispered. “I knew it was peanut and I ate it anyway.” Jellal glanced over his shoulder at Eileen who’s eyes were a terrifying golden color. “I’m sorry for the trouble I caused at dinner. I didn’t want you to think I didn’t like the food.”

“So you ate a thing deadly to you in order to impress me?” She asked slowly.

“I did.”

Eileen shook her head slowly and opened her mouth to reply but the nurse poked her head inside of the room and cleared her throat.

“I’m sorry to interrupt. We just need some signatures on the record and discharge.” All of the adults followed her out of the room and Siegrain inched closer to Mystogan as Eileen walked past. He could feel the anger radiating off her. When the door clicked shut again, Erza’s face darkened.

“How could you, Jellal?” she hissed angrily. “You scared me to death! You almost died! And for what? Some… some peanut sauce? Why didn’t you tell me you had a peanut allergy?” Erza’s voice rose with every word and Siegrain couldn’t entirely mask his delight.

“I wanted to impress your mom and I thought I’d make her mad at me if I didn’t eat her food,” Jellal muttered, looking completely shamed.

“I don’t even know what to say to you right now.” Erza stood and smoothed her clothing. She headed for the door but stopped before she pulled it open. “I just can’t believe you didn’t tell me you had an important allergy all for the sake of dinner with my mother. I don’t know how I can even trust you now.”

Erza left Jellal and Mystogan gaping but Siegrain grinned as the door shut behind her.

“Wow she’s pretty pissed,” he said turning back around to face a truly dismayed Jellal and an incredulous Mystogan. “I guess you’ll break up now?”

“Breakup?” Jellal whispered. “Do you think she was breaking up with me?” He slid off the edge of the bed and moved toward the door but immediately swayed and groaned. Mystogan grasped Jellal’s arm and helped him back onto the bed.

“You know better than to lurch around after an epi-pen, Jellal. You can’t chase her now. Give her a chance to cool off.”

“I could talk to her!” Siegrain offered helpfully. Selfishly.

“I don’t -“ Mystogan started.

“Would you?” Jellal finished. “I’m really sorry and I’ll tell her whatever she wants to know now even the size of my socks if she wants!”

“I’ll see what I can do.” Siegrain grinned and left his brothers behind in the room. At the end of the hall he could see Eileen and his parents still at the nurses station. He peeked out into the waiting room and his eyes snagged on a head of red hair near the far wall. Erza was hunched over and sobbing into her hands. All his plans of swooping into Jellal’s place fizzled. He sighed and crossed the waiting room to the chair beside her. “Hey, are you alright?”

“No,” she sobbed. “My stupid boyfriend ate something poisonous because he wanted to impress my mom. Of course I’m not alright!”

“Yeah,” Siegrain murmured, running a hand through his hair. “Look, Erza, he didn’t mean to upset you. Jellal is just really -“ Stupid? “Intense sometimes.”

“Why did he do this?” She wiped her face with the palms of her hands and Siegrain reached over to snatch a handful of tissues from a box sitting on top of a stack of magazines. Erza took the tissues and dried her cheeks but her eyes were still leaking. Siegrain sighed and glared down at his shoes.

“Because he loves you. Jellal did a stupid thing but you gotta forgive him, Erza. He’s not gonna work right without you, okay?”

“Sieg -“

“Please? If you want to make him sweat it out for a day or two, I’ll keep it under my hat but don’t cut him off just because of this one stupid thing.”

“Do you really think this’ll be the only stupid thing he ever does?” she asked drly.

“No,” Siegrain laughed, finally meeting her eyes. “He’s gonna keep being stupid about you. Probably forever.”

Erza sighed and picked apart her handfuls of tissue. “Tell him -“

“Erza,” Eileen called softly from the middle of the room. She nodded toward the exit. “We should get going. Jellal needs rest and his poor mother needs a stiff drink.”

“Okay, I’m coming.” Erza stood and tossed the mess of tissue into a wastebasket and turned back to Siegrain. “Tell him I’ll consider talking to him no earlier than Sunday. He needs to rest and recover his brains.”

“I’ll pass that on,” Siegrain said, still grinning. Erza smiled and he felt the horrible but beautiful ache in his chest flare.

“And thank you,” she whispered before turning to follow her mother outside. Siegrain watched the two of them go through the windows and cursed himself for using the small moments he had alone with Erza to fix what Jellal had fucked up.

Chapter Text

The house was dark except for the face of his phone. Siegrain stared at the tiny words Read 9:38pm and waited. His breaths were empty and knowing - just like the rest of him. Just like the rest of him all of the time. He sent one more message.

‘I’m sorry. Next weekend?’

The tiny words flipped from Delivered to Read 10:03pm and that’s when he shut his phone off. Not locked or simply silenced. Off.

Siegrain left the bedroom behind as well as the sound of the shower. The scent of something he both loved and hated rolled out from under the bathroom door and hung in the air around their bed. He couldn’t take it. Not tonight.

He padded down the hallway and a flash of lightning illuminated everything for a spilt second. Siegrain paused outside of a closed door. A quick peak revealed his - his son? No. The boy had never been his. Not in the ways that mattered. Only in the ways that tore him to shreds and left him hollow. The head of hair identical to his peeked out of the mess of blankets and Siegrain waited for the slow rise and fall of sleep before leaving this room behind, too.

The only light in the living room came from the street lamps that somehow never went out even when the rain took the power. The glow reflected off the glass of a hundred different picture frames. Siegrain avoided them all. They were a monument to so many lies. His eyes snagged traitorously on a few despite his best efforts. Faces that all looked like him stung like a whirlwind of a thousand tiny cuts that would leave him to bleed out right there in the living room. Even the smallest face, the most blameless of them all gutted him. The progression of faces reignited an old, ever smoldering hole right through his chest. A trio of young boys. A trio of young men. And then just two.

And then the boy. The one that wasn’t his but looked just like him.

On his worst days, the days when he couldn’t even stand in front of the mirror, she never said a word. She took their - no, no not theirs - son to school while he dressed in the closet. Those were the days when she couldn’t look at him either.

Her shoes and bag were left in a heap by the garage door. Her jacket smelled of disinfectant and dog fur. He ignored all of it. On the dining table her laptop stood open. The screen cast an eerie shadow on the wall and Siegrain could not stop his feet. If he didn’t shut the laptop she would wake to a dead machine and it would upset her. He still cared about what upset her. Silly things like the way their coats hung in the closet or the way her shoes sometimes mixed with his.

Siegrain rounded the edge of the table and his hand reached out to shut the laptop closed. The second betrayal of his eyes hurt more than anything else he’d felt since his life took a nosedive off the edge of hell. Jellal’s name and Erza’s name and words… so many words. The email read like a mangled diary entry. One so full of broken feelings and tears and pieces of a human heart.

“I’m so tired, Jellal. I wake up every day and I wonder if any of this is even worth it without you. Sometimes I look at him and think he’s you and then I have to start grieving all over again. And I don’t even get to finish because as soon as he looks back at me I know. I know it’s not you and that hurts even more. It’s like the worst joke in history.

Everywhere we go people who know us have the same expression. They judge us. We try so hard outside but this house is a fucking mess, Jellal. I am a mess. Siegrain is a mess. The only thing that’s not a mess is our child. He’s so sweet and kind and he looks just like you, too, and I hate it. I try to see myself in his eyes but I can’t. I’m sorry, Jellal. I’m not a very good mother. He deserves better.

I miss you. And I love you. And I can’t love anyone else. If it makes me a bad person to keep the lights on in the bed I keep with Siegrain just so I can pretend for a few minutes than I guess I’m just fucked. He doesn’t ask me if I want the lights out anymore. Maybe I’m just crazy. I don’t know.

I think I hate him. He has a lover, did you know that? I can tell when he sees her because he smiles sometimes and it’s not like when he smiles at home. It’s different. I followed him once and I don’t know if it makes it better or worse that she doesn’t look anything like me. It’s not fair. He can leave and I can’t. Everything looks like you. Last week I had my nails done so I could leave his shoulders a mess. I hope she saw them. I took the nails off the same day. I hated them.

I can’t do this, Jellal. I don’t know if you can forgive me for not dying with you and raising a child I have to keep in a separate pocket in my heart and making your brother so miserable. I’ve made myself miserable. I just need to know you don’t hate me for it. I miss you and I need you to come home.”

Because Siegrain needed the full devastation experience he opened her sent folder. Hundreds and hundreds of emails, all addressed to Jellal. Her received folder was empty.

He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t feel his fingers pressing too hard on the top edge of her laptop. He couldn’t feel a single thing. Had he felt anything before? Maybe the echo of a heart beat? All gone now. He’d hurt her and she’d hurt herself. Siegrain snapped the laptop shut and, one step at a time, found his way back to their bedroom.

Erza sat on the bed in a nightgown so pale it glowed. A hurricane candle flickered in a glass case and she watched him closely.

“I closed your laptop,” he whispered, standing directly in front of her. Erza gazed up at him with a blank expression but her fingers dug into the edge of the mattress. “I didn’t want you to go to to work with a dead battery.”

“Thank you,” she whispered. Siegrain nodded and approached the dresser where the candle burned. “Wait.” Her words froze him in place. “I -“

“Don’t explain it, Erza.” He didn’t have any other words but if he had her hand pressing into his back would’ve stopped them on his tongue. Siegrain let her tug at the drawstring of his pajama pants and her nightgown fluttered to the floor in the space between the dresser and the bed.

He never closed his eyes and neither did she. The Erza he saw was different girl. And he knew she didn’t see him at all. He didn’t flinch when the wrong name fell from her lips.

A flash of lightning rattled the house and a frantic, childish scream sliced through his consciousness.

“Daddy!” the voice called. Siegrain blinked. “Daddy!” Lightning flashed again and he grasped Erza’s wrists.

“Daddy, it’s dark! Where are you?” The voice was almost girlish. It rattled him. Siegrain rolled to the side and felt his body hit the floor. When he opened his eyes the room was dark and completely different. His closet light was on and there wasn’t a candle on the dresser. He blinked.

“Daddy?” A head of rumpled blonde hair poked inside of his bedroom and the wide eyes of Sofia startled him.

“Sofia? What’s going on?”

“Daddy why are you on the floor?” She invited herself in and crawled into the bed. “Can I stay here? It’s raining.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay.” Siegrain scrubbed his face with his palms and the sheen of sweat on the back of his neck chilled him. When he flipped on the bathroom light, he jumped. The power wasn’t out at all. His reflection in the mirror was pale and his eyes wide. “Jesus Christ,” he whispered. Siegrain washed his face wish cold water and when he returned to the side of the bed, Sofia was already sleeping. He peeked into the hallway and saw the pink and red stars of her nightlight spilling out into the hallway. The room at the end of the hall was a mess of half-assembled art projects and paint samples for the walls still dotted with primer.

As if still trying to verify reality, Siegrain made a circle of his condo. Everything was exactly the way he’d left it before putting Sofia to bed. A bottle of Pino Noir stood empty on the kitchen counter. Siegrain made a sound of disgust as he tossed it in the trash bin. He knew better than to soak himself in red wine before bed - he couldn’t stand the dreams.

Sofia had commandeered all the blankets on the bed and it took some work to pry a corner free. As Siegrain watched his daughter sleep he decided it was time to cut away the dead things inside of him. He was done salting the earth. Nothing new could grow there and he desperately needed some flowers.

Chapter Text

Growing up as the only girl with three identical male cousins had left Lucy with a certain penchant for savage pettiness. She’d learned to hold her own amongst her cousins via trial by fire and often it was her own wit that kept her afloat. If she wanted to get off the porch during family get togethers, she needed to figure out how to run with the big dogs. Mystogan, Siegrain, and Jellal weren’t cruel sort of boys, but they were a rambunctious mess of unexpected mishaps. Lucy adapted and, though she loved them all, she bonded with Siegrain in particular. His inner turmoil of feeling shiftless and misunderstood by his family hit a note with her. Lucy’s own parents had a whole row of peg holes they expected her to fill and, more often than not, Lucy simply went along to get along. She never rocked the boat and Siegrain always had an ear for her when she needed to gripe.

One of Lucy’s favorite developments in her time with her cousins was Erza. For the first time in forever there was another girl and Erza was always around. It didn’t take very long for Erza and Lucy to develop a friendship that had nothing to do with her cousins. The biggest damper on Lucy’s senior year of high school would be the loss of Erza to university. Sometimes Lucy wished she’d been born a year earlier so she wouldn’t always be behind everyone else.

“Have you picked out all your electives?” Erza asked from a prone position on Lucy’s bed. “Last year was such a joke for me. I would’ve loved to have empty slots to just go home but I took a bunch of silly electives instead.”

“Yeah, I’m taking a sewing class. My mom sneered when I told her.”

“She’s not much for home ec?”

“No, she thinks I’m going to reach for law school like Jellal.” Lucy’s phone chimed but she ignored it. Siegrain sometimes texted her a whole string of memes in a row and there would be no point in checking them until later.

“Is that not what you want?”

“Nope! It’s just what she wants. Once I’m away, I can change my classes.” Her phone chimed again.

“I think Jellal’s dad would shit a brick if he changed a bunch of classes without saying anything.”

“It wouldn’t ever be Jellal to do that,” Lucy muttered.

“You’re right,” Erza sighed. “That would be a very Siegrain thing to do.” Lucy’s phone chimed a third time and Erza rolled over to her side. “Your phone seems excited.”

“It’s just Siegrian. He sends me memes he thinks are funny.” Lucy unlocked her phone and sighed. “Most of the time I hate myself for actually agreeing.”

“He sends them to me too sometimes.”

“I ignore most of them because they’re ridiculous.” Lucy frowned and Erza’s eyebrow ticked up.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m so sick of these porn blogs following me on tumblr.”

“How many do you get?”

“Lots. I don’t normally pay attention but this one has a big turtle in the profile picture. Did you know the boys used to have a huge turtle?”

“Oh, you mean Lauren?” Erza asked dryly. “Yeah, I remember the turtle.”

Lucy groaned. “This blog is gross. Why do guys think anyone wants to see pictures of their dicks?”

“Because they are their own biggest fans and want us to be fans, too?”

“Look at this.” Lucy handed Erza her phone. “His captions are horrible. And that one in the hot tub? His dick looks like a baby jellyfish.”

“Oh, no,” Erza whispered. Her eyes went wide and her mouth twisted into a painful grimace.

“What?”

“Oh, god…”

“Erza?” Lucy peeked around the edge of the phone. “What’s wrong?”

“This pool,” she said in a low breath. “This tile. This tile backsplash. I know this tile.” Erza scrolled through the posts faster. “And look at this. Look at this, Lucy!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t -“

“This tattoo. I have seen this tattoo before.”

“Well anyone could have a tattoo like that.” Lucy eyed Erza’s face closely. The horror etched there made her stomach sink. “Erza, what’s wrong? Do you know this guy?”

“Yes,” she whispered. “And so do you.” Erza continued to stare at the face of Lucy’s phone. “Fuck! I have had sex in this pool before and now it’s ruined forever.”

“I’m sorry, I’m still not following. Pool sex? But haven’t you only been with -“

“Jellal? Yes.”

“But that means…” Lucy snatched her phone back from Erza and shook her head slowly. “Oh, god.”

“That’s Siegrain’s chest tattoo. I’ve seen it a hundred times. I know it’s his.”

“Well,” Lucy said with finality. “Now you’ve seen everything else too.”

“I want to throw up,” Erza gasped. “This is the worst day of my whole life.”

“So…” Lucy said with a wicked grin. “Are they really identical everywhere?”

“Jesus Christ, Lucy! They’re your cousins!”

Lucy shrugged. “I’m just asking. For science.”

“Science?”

“Or, you know, blackmail. Is it really Siegrain?” Erza pursed her lips and nodded. “Well, that’s good to know.”

“Why?” Erza demanded. “Why is any of this good to know?”

“Because now if I ever need something from him I have leverage. Who knew Siegrain had a tumblr page full of dick selfies?”

“Honestly?” Erza deadpanned. “It’s not a stretch. Why did he follow you?”

“I sent him a link last night from my page. He was drinking and probably thumb-twitch followed me. I’m sure he doesn’t even remember. I’m going to soft block him now but -“ Lucy cut off and snapped several screencaps. “I have what I need.”

“Lucy, you’re cold blooded,” Erza said with a laugh.

“I’ve learned from the best. Now, the student will surpass the master.” Lucy felt her lips twitch into a grin. One day, Siegrain would owe her an enormous favor.

Chapter Text

Mystogan’s eyes slid over what could only be described as chaos before landing on his scarf. He kicked aside the box his new laptop had come in and plucked the scarf from a stack of slowly tipping sweaters. Both had been a gift from his parents - the sweaters were more from his mother than his father. She knew he’d never remember to wear one on his own. He recognized Anna’s very legitimate concern but her worry was easily dimmed by the sheer of amount of information he had churning through his head at any given moment.

Sweater, he reminded himself even as he wrapped the scarf around his neck. Oh, wait, I need that thumb drive with the new data on it! Mystogan dug through the lap drawer of his desk and flicked aside three drives before finding the one with the orange sticker on it. Sweater! It’s snowing! His eyes scanned the room again and found the stack of sweaters - and then caught on his boots. Right. Shoes.

Mystogan reached for the boots and realized his legs were still clad in pajama pants. He’d managed to get his scrub top on, but pants? No. No, that never crossed his mind. With his scarf dangling from his neck and a thumb drive in his hand, Mystogan pulled off his pajama pants and grabbed a brand new pair of scrub pants still in the plastic wrapper. They didn’t quite match his top but he didn’t log the thought. Instead, his mind drifted to the thumb drive and all his carefully calculated models of gene splices. He ran over the formulas again and again as he tied the strings of his pants and reached for his boots once more.

As he locked his front door and quickly walked to the end of the hallway and down the stairs, Mystogan ticked off the bullet points of his day. His group would meet in exactly forty-five minutes. He had his bag with his laptop, the orange thumb drive, proper pants, a scarf and - the biting cold wind hit him like a train the second he stepped from the building. A woman stood on the curb trying to hail a cab. She turned at the sound of the building door sliding open and quirked an eyebrow… she stared. Mystogan felt self conscious. He didn’t care for being ogled like a curiosity even if he was used to it by now.

“Uh,” she pointed at him awkwardly. “Have you forgotten something?”

“Excuse me?” Mystogan clutched the strap of his messenger bag. His fingers were starting to become uncomfortably cold.

“It’s winter,” she said dryly.

“Well, yeah.” Mystogan blinked. The woman sighed and her shoulders fell as a cab finally rolled up to the curb.

“Look, dude, you forgot your coat. That’s all.” She ducked inside of the car and Mystogan shivered. He felt ridiculous. Of course. You forgot your sweater. Idiot.

When he’d been a younger boy it hadn’t taken Mystogan long to realize he was different from his brothers, as well as most of his age peers. At fifteen he’d tested out of traditional high school and began university level courses. Back then, he’d been behind but eager to catch up and prove himself. Being the youngest in every single one of his classes and study groups hadn’t allowed for anything other than solid gold excellence. He didn’t think he’d ever be respected or taken seriously if he were simply mediocre. In an academic context, his placement might’ve been extraordinary but his age did him no favors.

It wasn’t until he’d been accepted to medical school and moved from intern to third year resident that Mystogan could finally breathe. Even now, though, he was looking at other, more specialized, doctorate programs. He didn’t know how else to fill his time.

When held up next to his brothers he felt inadequate. Siegrain had somehow, despite all his fuck ups, managed to create a perfect little girl. Sofia was the breath of fresh air his family needed. In all other respects Siegrain was still a humongous mess partially on fire and strewn across an alleyway, but he had Sofia. Jellal was perfectly on track to earning a degree in environmental law. He’d make adorable babies with Erza and protect ducks from toxic waste in the city waterways. How wholesome was that? Mystogan’s life was a cluttered stack of papers, a desktop littered with unorganized files, and scrubs he’d buy new because laundry wasn’t a thing that ever occurred to him. He was stuck in a race with himself and sometimes he wondered what it would be like to just… step off the ride.

He never did step off, though. Mystogan would race and race until he found the end. There had to be an end.

A gust of warm air greeted him when the hospital doors slid open. He couldn’t help his smile. Winter hadn’t ever been his season.

“Good morning, Doctor Fernandes,” a nurse from behind the desk called. She smiled at him and he smiled back. He wasn’t great with names. Even Siegrain remembered names! Mystogan waved at her and continued down the hall. He supposed it was more polite than calling her the one thing he could remember. Lace purple bra.

“How are you this morning, Doctor Fernandes?” A second year resident asked, falling into step beside him. Her curls, a similar color to his own, were escaping a bun and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“I’m fine now that I’ve remembered my sweater.”

“You’re going to freeze to death one day,” she said with a sigh. “Are you busy after your shift?”

“I don’t know yet.” He adjusted the strap of his bag that was now digging into his shoulder.

“I’ve been on the clock since yesterday. Cut a girl some slack, yeah?”

“Text me, okay?” Mystogan took a hard left into a waiting elevator. “If you don’t text me -“

“Yeah, yeah,” she cut in with a grin. “You’ll forget. I know the drill.”

Juvia always left scratches on his shoulders. He didn’t mind. In fact, he didn’t mind a lot. The sting of her fingernails cut through the mess of his thoughts. She was his favorite. When they’d first met a year ago, she’d been a jittery mess. Too much stress, too much coffee. Residency hadn’t been kind to Juvia. Fresh off a nasty break up, she had some kinks to work out. Obviously they had an expiration date. All his hookups did.

Mysotgan didn’t get tangled up in things like romance. Like Siegrain, he had his own series of bedpost notches and he had a type. Girls with stress spilling out their eyeballs who’d been mainlining coffee for days just to get through a rough shift. They didn’t seek him out for midnight oil chats, no, they wanted what he wanted. The kind of sex that left a dent in the wall. He wanted to feel something. Something human. Something normal. Nothing else about him felt normal.

He always went to them. Mystogan never brought women home to his apartment. He preferred to leave them dozing in their own beds before heading out. Even normal had a special box in his head that rarely touched the others.

“You look peaceful,” Siegrain said, taking the chair next to him. Mystogan sighed and grinned. “You’re only peaceful after you get laid. Your shoulders look like hell, by the way. You should put something on that.”

“It’s fine.”

“You’re not a very good doctor are you?” Siegrain stretched out and flexed his legs.

“Where’s Sofia?”

“With Jenny. I have the weekend to myself. Want to take a weekend trip with me?”

“I’ve had a long week. I’m spending the next two days right here in mom and dad’s backyard by the pool, thanks. You know I hate hotels.”

Siegrain laughed and let the matter drop. The sound of the backdoor slamming shut disturbed the quiet, again.

“Hey what’s -“ Jellal cut off and made a disgusted sound. “Jesus, your shoulders look like you got in a fight with a cat!”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what happened,” Siegrain said with a wicked grin. “You know he likes the ones with claws.”

“You’re going to get an infection.” Jellal fell onto the patio chair on Mystogan’s empty side.

“Thanks, but this family only has room for one doctor and that’s me,” Mystogan said, trying to find his zen place again.

“So what’s your number now that you’re a senior resident?”

Mystogan shrugged. “I don’t count them.”

“Yeah, I stopped keeping track after Jenny.”

“Are you sure it’s not because you just can’t count that high?” Mystogan offered with a grin.

“Don’t be a dick. At least I don’t pick the wired ones who could injure me if they wanted.”

“Listen, residents and interns are low commitment. We both know the terms and everybody wins.”

“So getting a ride on your train is a win in your opinion?” Siegrain shot back. “I mean, I’m just asking. We could all take lessons, right Jellal?”

“What? No! I don’t need sex confidence.”

“So what’s your number, then?” Mystogan asked, the old familiar feeling of picking on his youngest brother surged past his annoyance with Siegrain’s sharp tongued wit.

“Excuse me?” Jellal sputtered, affronted.

“Yeah, Jellal, what are you up to now days?” Siegrain joined in.

“I - I don’t know what you’re asking!”

“Sure you do. Your number, Jellal, what is it? We’re brothers! You have to tell us.”

“Just the one!” Jellal blurted. “You know I’ve only been with Erza!”

“Are you sure? What about that other girl? What was her name?” Siegrain tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair and Mystogan swallowed a laugh. “I feel like it’s on the tip of my tongue.”

“That was in middle school! And I didn’t touch her, for fuck’s sake!” “You’re awfully defensive,” Siegrain pressed.

“Yeah, I think this needs more reflection,” Mystogan added casually.

Jellal suddenly stood and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “I can’t believe you guys. We’re twenty-two and you still act like I’m a baby. At least I wasn’t caught in the pool house with a girl at fourteen!” His eyes focused on Siegrain. “And at least I don’t come home with fresh scratches all over my shoulders and back!” Mystogan didn’t flinch at all. He’d expected the outburst. Jellal spun on his heel and headed toward the house.

“Where’re you going?” he called out, as if he didn’t know already.

“To call Erza.” The backdoor slammed shut again and Siegrain burst into laughter.

“He still makes it so easy!”

Mystogan slid his sunglasses down over his eyes. He liked this more than normal. This was better than normal.

Chapter Text

The phones had been her idea. At first Anna would collect them at the end of every day and perform a cursory check just to be sure her twelve year old sons weren’t looking at porn instead of… whatever else kids their age looked at when unsupervised. After three months Anna decided she’d had enough of spending an hour shaking down smartphones every evening and thought she’d just trust them to not do anything stupid. In her head ‘stupid’ meant illegal. It never occurred to her that the space between ‘illegal’ and ‘stupid’ was a whole lot wider than she’d imagined.

Anna wasn’t unaware when it came to technology. Before her sons were born she’d taught in a school where advancements were implemented into the curricula. Even after she’d taken leave of her position, Anna still kept up to date on new technological blips that might be used for educational purposes. Now that the boys were older she had a lot more time to consider returning to teaching.

Vine was new. It sat in all it’s green glory on the front page of her app store and the concept of kids learning how to edit short videos intrigued her.“Are the boys in bed already?” Acnologia asked from the closet. He’d come home late again and missed dinner. Anna hummed in response and waited for the Vine app to install and load. “This week was a nightmare. I’m so glad it’s over.”

“You never did like meetings, my love.” Anna glanced up at him and winked. He laughed and left his dirty button up shirt in the hamper.

“Next week will be less taxing, I hope.”

Anna’s eye scanned what looked to be an aggregated page of popular short videos - or loops. She thought the term clever given the name of the app. One video caught her eye and she frowned.

“Anna?” Acnologia’s voice was distant as all her thoughts focused on the loop of a very familiar boy.

“Oh my god,” she whispered, horror creeping into her chest. The boy in the video had a grape resting between his lips and as he inhaled sharply, he nearly choked. Laughter in the background curdled her stomach. “Is that Mystogan?” she whispered, letting the video replay again.

“Anna what is it?”

Anna couldn’t respond. The next loop was the same boy - she could tell them all apart by now - with some kind of song screeching Shots! Shots! Shots! in the background. He took capful after capful of what looked like blue Listerine.

“Is that our son?” Acnologia asked, taking a seat next to her on the bed. Anna could only nod. The third video started quiet but ended with a backflip off the second flight of stairs. A loud shriek that took Anna all the way back to the days when they’d been toddlers rattled her very existence. Her heart skipped two beats and she dropped the phone. Acnologia snatched it up off the floor and started another loop with more shrieking. Anna left him on the bed and went straight for the bathroom to douse her face with cold water.

“But I don’t understand!” her husband said from the bedroom. “Why? Are they trying to kill themselves?”

“You still ask why after all this time?” Anna muttered, dabbing her face dry. “They’re wild little boys and I don’t know why I didn’t just assume they were doing these things before.”

“Well,” Acnologia said with a derisive sound. “Because you have sense. I’ll talk to them, Anna. I’ll make them see some reason. This kind of behavior can’t go on.”

“You can’t stop it,” Anna whispered, returning to the bed. “I’ve been trying to make them see sense since they were in diapers.”

“We can confiscate the phones?” Acnologia asked in a hopeful tone.

“No, if we do that we’ll never know what they do when we aren’t looking. The phones have to stay!”

Acnologia sighed and set aside Anna’s phone. He joined her outside the bathroom and pulled her golden blonde hair over her shoulder. “I hate to see you so distressed,” he whispered.

“It’s the shrieking. I can’t take it.” Anna bit her lip and hid her face in Acnologia’s shoulder. “I can’t believe Mystogan would be on board with this stuff! Even Jellal! Do we even know our own children?”

Acnologia laughed softly and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. “I think we know them well enough. You have to admit there’s been less noticeable chaos since we split them into separate bedrooms.”

“That’s true.”

“Listen,” Acnologia said with a gentle finality. Anna gazed up at him, hoping to whatever gods there were that he’d have a solution. “I will speak to them tomorrow and you can keep an eye on the video channel, yes? That’s an agreeable middle ground?”

Anna wrapped her arms tightly around her husband’s middle and sighed. “You can’t ever die okay? I can’t do this alone. Our children are wild creatures.”

“I won’t die,” he said into the softness of her hair.

Chapter Text

The fire in the chemistry labs and the resulting fumes were an inconvenience for everyone who wasn’t Siegrain or Jellal. Though, they shared no classes - a phenomenon Siegrain still wondered about - they did spend third period on the same hallway. Every classroom in the east wing was herded to either the library or the auditorium for free study until lunch or until the fumes could be cleared out. Whichever came first.

“I don’t see why we couldn’t have just been dismissed for lunch early,” Siegrain griped, leaning back in his chair. He propped his knees against the table he and Jellal occupied near the back of the library. Jellal glanced up from his laptop.

“You’re going to fall on your back and get sent home with a concussion if you’re not more careful.”

“Thanks, doc,” Siegrain muttered. “How do you know that’s not my plan anyway?”

“By all means, then,” Jellal murmured, clearly distracted. “Damage your already dented head.”

“Are you really going to waste this free time studying?”

“You do realize the test we’re missing will be given anyway, right? And probably tomorrow? I’m not looking to fail it. Dad’s still pissed about my oral exam score in Spanish.”

“We can’t all be Mystogan and speak three languages besides English.”

“I’m only trying to learn the one,” Jellal bit out under his breath. He suddenly stood and disappeared into the towering rows of reference books. Siegrain sighed and let his chair fall forward. His fingers drummed restlessly on the table top. Two hours of free study. He couldn’t think of anything more boring.

His eyes caught on Sherry who winked at him but shook her head in warning. She wouldn’t leave her table and he couldn’t really blame her. The library was far too crowded for them to get away with anything fun. Siegrain scanned the crowd again and a familiar head of scarlet drew all of his attention.

Erza stood near the cluster of school owned computers and tucked a wayward strand of hair from her eyes. She was still in her gym clothes - which meant the fumes had passed from the east wing and proceeded directly to the locker rooms on the other side of the wall. When she finally spun around and met his gaze, she smiled. Siegrain greedily smiled back.

She thinks you’re him. He’d take it, though. Erza weaved her way through the maze of tables and half-shelves. When the bottom half of her body came into view his grin widened. Girls’ gym shorts were such a gift. She pulled out the chair next to him and fell into it. He could smell her body spray mingling with the sweat that kept the wispy hairs at her neck glued to her skin.

Utterly without shame, Siegrain slug his arm around Erza’s shoulders and leaned all the way in to press a sloppy kiss on her cheek.

“Miss me?” he asked in his most offensively rakish tone. Erza turned to face him. Her nose only an inch or two away from his. Her eyebrows dented together slightly and her head tilted to the left. She stared at him hard before making a disgusted sound and standing.

“You’re a pig,” she said, planting her hands on her hips.

“Yeah, yeah,” Siegrain muttered. “Jellal’s in the stacks behind you.”

He didn’t regret fooling her even if only for a second and his eyes never strayed from her behind in the gym shorts. He hated to see her leave but he loved to watch her go.

Chapter Text

He thought he was losing his mind. Two laptops stood open on his desk and the rest of his room, including the books he was currently excavating from a stack of already packed boxes, was an unholy mess. Siegrain growled and set aside the ravaged box to reach for another. For a brief second, he thought it might be a better idea to simply check out the book he needed from the library but there was nothing simple about taking Sofia into the library.

Siegrain glanced behind him and found his daughter tearing into a bag of Skittles. Her hands and cheeks were sticky with the bright candy coating. Better to have dirty bedclothes than handprints all over his desk and laptops.

“Goddamn it,” he muttered, still not finding the book he needed. Siegrain bit his lip and peeked over his shoulder once again. Sofia was busily licking her fingers and wiping them on his duvet. Hopefully she hadn’t heard the swears. The last thing he needed was Sofia blurting out no-no words in front of Jenny.

Siegrain’s eyes darted from one stack of boxes to the next. Whatever had possessed him to attempt to move out of his family’s home at the start of a new school year? The bindings of a few books still on the shelf snagged his eye. Yes! Finally! Siegrain snatched the heavy volume from the shelf and fell into his desk chair. If he really tried he could get the assignment and posts done before dinner and Sofia could have a bath just in time to avoid any comments about a sticky toddler at the table.

The sound of the phone ringing irritated him. Siegrain’s headache flared and he considered not answering at all - except he didn’t have all of his group’s contact information stored yet. It really could be anybody.

“Yeah?” Siegrain snapped after accepting the call.

“Good afternoon, Mister Fernandes! Are you the decision maker of the house?”

“Uh -” Siegrain floundered and scowled over at his phone. “What? This is a mobile number.”

“I’m sorry to take up your time but I’m calling to perhaps interest you in a new bundle of high speed internet, premium cable television, and home phone service.”

“I’m a university student,” Siegrain said dryly.

“Oh, well, we have plenty of money saving offers!”

Siegrain swiveled around in his chair to face his wreck of a bedroom suite. Sofia was stuffing now colorless Skittles into her diaper. Her smile was one of crooked toddler teeth and a smear of brownish purple Skittles goo. An idea came to him. He’d have to clean the phone later, of course, but it would be worth it just to get rid of the badly timed sales call.

“Actually,” Siegrain said as he stood and crossed the room. He pried the gross bits of candy from Sofia’s hands. “That sounds great. I’m going to pass you off to my assistant. She can get the set up scheduled. Thanks for getting in touch!” Siegrain handed Sofia his phone and peeled a green, candy coated curl of blonde off her cheek. “Here, baby, you want to handle this call for daddy?” Her smile made him smile and he left her to it. If ever it was appropriate for her to repeat all the things she’d heard him say over the last few years, now was her time to shine.

“Hello?” Sofia asked, unnecessarily loud. There was a pause before she went on in a very serious business tone. “Do you need my credit card number and billing address? I’ll need to get my wallet. Is delivery in thirty minutes? Can I have extra cheese?”

Siegrain stifled a laugh as he took a seat in his chair and pulled the book into his lap.

“I need these submitted to me in PDF format, please!” Sofia chirped from his bed. “The deadline is Friday!”

From his position in the desk chair Siegrain heard a clearly flustered sales person ask, “I’m sorry ma’am, but how old are you?”

“I’m three,” Sofia said excitedly. The phone beeped as it normally did when a call ended abruptly. Sofia scooted off the bed and wrapped her sticky little fingers around Siegraine’s wrist. “I handled it, daddy.”

“You did amazing sweetie.”

Chapter Text

The boxes stressed him out. There were just so many. Siegrain’s mind wandered back to the last time he moved and thought for sure there weren’t nearly as many boxes. Of course, that had been seven years previous. Both he and Sofia had grown into his condo - and now spilled out of it. Since then he’d graduated college, obtained gainful employment, watched Sofia grow from a toddler to a girl of ten, and managed to earn the affections of a woman he now couldn’t imagine his life without.

“Why can’t we have someone pack the boxes too?” Sofia whined as she fell into the couch cushions beside him.

“Because this builds character?” he offered, grinning at her. Sofia’s mouth flattened into a line.

“Are you trying to sound like Abuelito? Because it’s better coming from him.”

Siegrain sighed and rolled his eyes. “All you have to do is pack your net of stuffed animals. Your mom already packed the rest.”

“But it’s hard!” Sofia flopped into his lap and groaned.

“I don’t know where you get this flair for dramatics.”

“Mom says that’s your fault,” Sofia said, her face still hidden in the front of his jacket.

“I’m sure she does.” Siegrain’s phone chimed and he reached back to grab it from the stack of boxes behind the couch. “That’s the movers. They’re twenty minutes away. Do you have everything taped up or do you need help?”

“I finished.” Sofia finally sat back on her own cushion. She eyed him seriously for a long moment. “Are we really doing this, dad?”

“Are you nervous about it?”

“A little.” She picked at her fingernails - a nervous habit that didn’t show its face very often. “What if Lisanna decides she doesn’t like us anymore? Will she leave? Will we have to move again?” Sofia bit her lip and tugged on his arm. “I don’t want to see your sad face again, daddy.”

“Sofia, my sad face isn’t a thing you should ever have to worry about.” Siegrain’s heart broke for all the things his little girl noticed that he wished she hadn’t.

“If you’re allowed to worry about me,” Sofia whispered. “Then I’m allowed to worry about you.”

“Lisanna loves you. We wouldn’t be doing this if if we weren’t absolutely sure.”

“As sure as Abuelito and Gran? Are you that kind of sure?” Sofia’s eyes were earnest.

“I’m sure.” Another kind of sure stung the tip of his tongue. The color of it was red with smiling flecks of honey brown. He didn’t feel haunted by it anymore, though. Was he as sure of Lisanna as Jellal was of Erza? Siegrain thought so. He loved her. The ring on her finger meant she’d marry him. The house in a suburb between her family and his meant they were starting something new belonging only to them. It was enough.

The movers were quiet and professional. They emptied out Siegrain’s condo with precise efficiency. He didn’t expect to feel anything about leaving the place behind but he did. This was where Sofia had started school. He’d crafted her an art studio in the spare bedroom. She’d learned to read and write and given him more than he’d ever expected.

As things turned out, an accidental pregnancy changed his life in all the best ways possible. Now he was moving forward yet again.

Lisanna orchestrated the movers into the house. She’d pre-labled all the boxes with black marker and color coded stickers. Sofia spent her afternoon in the new back yard with Lady Poof while Sirgrain and Jellal pushed furniture around. Lisanna and Erza made quick work of the kitchen and guest bathrooms.

Mystogan, in expected form, showed up late and with four apology pizzas… and a girl. Siegrain raised an eyebrow and Jellal stared.

“What?” Mystogan asked shaking his head. Erza took the pizza boxes from him and elbowed Jellal in the ribs on her way back to the kitchen. Lisanna took the case of beer from the woman at Mystogan’s side and smiled.

“I’m so glad you could come!” Lisanna’s way of smoothing over social awkwardness broke the tension in the room.

“This is Juvia,” Mystogan finally said. “My girlfriend? You’ve met!”

“No,” Jellal supplied.

“Nope, we haven’t,” Siegrain agreed. The women with the curly hair extended a hand.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. He’s a scatterbrain.” She shook Jellal’s hand and then Siegrain’s before easing past them to the kitchen.

“What the fuck, dude?” Siegrain demanded. “Your girlfriend? Since when do you have one of those?”

“We’ve been dating for months!” Mystogan said, shrugging off his jacket. “I’m sure I told you. Anyway, sorry we’re late. I completely forgot -“

“Yeah,” Jellal said punching him in the arm. “You forgot a ton of stuff.”

“Where did you meet her? And months?” Siegrain snatched Mystogan’s jacket from his hands and tossed it over the back of the couch.

“I met Juvia years ago at the hospital when we were residents.” Mystogan frowned and tilted his head. “Did I really not say anything?”

“No,” Jellal affirmed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You most certainly didn’t. Does mom know?”

“Well, I thought -“ Mystogan cut off and ran a hand through his hair. “Yeah, probably not.”

Siegrain shook his head slowly. “Twenty-nine and still forgetting all the important shit.”

“Anyway,” Mystogan huffed. “She’s great, right?”

“We’ll have to actually talk to her to find out,” Jellal muttered. The backdoor slammed loudly and Lady Poof’s barks echoed off the unfurnished walls. “I’m starving.”

“Where’s the kids?” Mystogan asked, following behind his brothers to the kitchen.

“They’re with Erza’s mom today.”

“Which means they’ll be stuffed to the brim with chocolate and promptly sent home just in time to bounce off the walls before bedtime?” Siegrain asked with a grin.

“Of course,” Jellal groused. “They’ll be great for Erza but tonight’s my night. Total chaos.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Mystogan said matter of factly. “Kids really aren’t all that hard. I’ve never seen either of yours or even Sofia get too crazy.”

“You sound like an arm chair quarterback,” Jellal tossed over his shoulder as they filed into the kitchen.

Sofia hung off Juvia with wide eyes. She spoke in her perfect but careful Spanish and Juvia responded in kind. Their conversation picked up speed quickly and Siegrain lost track entirely. He joined Lisanna at the far end of the kitchen where she handed him a paper plate with a smile. Her engagement ring glinted off the late afternoon sun. The noise in the kitchen swelled to a din and Siegrain affirmed, again, that he was absolutely sure.

Chapter Text

He knew how it looked from the outside. A convenient little club of doppelgangers that he would forever be a member of. They shared everything. Secrets and lies and made up stories floated from one matching bed frame to the next long after the lights were turned out. A schoolmate asked him once if they had twin-speak. Jellal didn’t expect the question to hurt but it did. He and his brothers weren’t twins but sometimes it felt that way. Yes they were identical and shared many things including a living space and had a litany of expressions and reactions that didn’t differ from one another in the slightest - but Jellal was always a little bit on the edge of a line. And sometimes, like on his birthday, he found himself right over the edge of it.

Jellal was the youngest of the three. He’d been born exactly six minutes after Siegrain at exactly twelve-oh-one… the day after. Sometimes he resented the version of himself that had been slow to find his way outside of Anna’s body. Two minutes earlier and he could’ve been with his brothers. Instead he was the wolf that broke formation. The one with a streak of white on his fur that no one else had. This insecurity nagged him every time Siegrain and Mystogan joined forces to push him out.

Out? No, that was far too malicious a word. Intentions aside, the deep fear of being alone and separate from the pack always flared when they preyed on him. Jellal loved his brothers in a way he couldn’t ever love anyone else. They were a part of him. But even now as a full grown adult he felt separate. Singular. He hated it.

“Daddy?”

Jellal looked backwards over his shoulder to find his son peeking through the crack in the bedroom door. “What is it, buddy?”

“Where’s mommy?”

“She’s still at work.” Jellal returned to the slowly shrinking pile of unfolded towels. “She’ll be home later tonight.”

“Are you sure?” The little boy’s voice was insistent.

“Completely sure.” He stacked the folded towels in alternating colors. Solid blocks of blue in the linen closet irritated him. “Where’s your sister?”

“Still napping.”

Jellal glanced at the clock on the wall and when he returned to the towels his son had crawled into the bed and toppled one stack. He swallowed a frustrated sigh and righted the towels.

“What time will she be home?”

“I don’t know. Probably late tonight. She’s got some last minute stuff to do.” By ‘last minute stuff’ he meant an emergency surgery on a dog that’d been nearly mangled by a truck. Erza had a soft heart and she couldn’t turn the guy away. Jellal couldn’t explain all that to a five year old, though, so he deflected. “What do you think about pizza for dinner?”

“Can we get the breadsticks with the cheese too?” the little boy asked brightly.

“Yep! Why don’t you go downstairs and pull it up on my laptop and we’ll order when I’m done with the towels.”

“Okay!” On his way out, Jellal’s son knocked over the stack of towels once more. The kid was needy and Jellal couldn’t fault him for it. He needed Erza, too. She made him feel special in a way that didn’t have anything to do with his brothers. Yes, she would get visibly annoyed with him sometimes, many times actually, and she never hesitated to poke him in the ribs when he needed it. But he knew she loved him for exactly who he was - a clingy, insecure mess.

They’d grown up but not apart. Together they’d learned all about themselves and each other. Jellal didn’t want to even ponder a world where he wasn’t with Erza. She’d come into his life at sixteen and stayed - even though he knew she was too good for him.

Erza was the brightest spot in his life, but his relationship with her was bittersweet at times. Jellal knew Siegrain had been in love with her for almost as long as himself. Things were different now, but for years he’d watched his brother try and empty a slowly sinking ship with a spoon. It wasn’t a thing they talked about. Jellal knew. Mystogan knew. Even Erza knew.

He’d always been afraid Siegrain’s feelings for Erza would twist into something ugly and rotten. Something that would rust a hole in the bottom of their family. Jellal had underestimated his brother, though, and still felt the guilt over it. Sofia saved them all and patched the hole in Siegrain’s heart. Lisanna had finished the job and Jellal could never repay the two of them for fixing his brother. It was an insurmountable debt they didn’t even know he owed.

The phone rang as he stuffed the towels in the closet. His sixteen month old daughter started whining in her room before he could answer the call. He scooped her out of her crib as the frantic voice in his ear spoke at a million words per minute.

“Whoa, whoa, Sofia, what’s -“

“You have to come, Uncle J!” his niece panted. “It’s Erza!”

Jellal froze. His daughter squirmed. “What about Erza?” he whispered. The silence stretched. “Sofia?”

“Hey, Jellal, sorry about that but -“

“Sieg, what’s going on?” Jellal whispered. “What’s happened to Erza?”

“It’s, uh,” Siegrain stumbled over his words and Jellal felt like his heart would pound out of his chest. “Look, she’s going to be fine, okay? We tried calling your mobile but -“

“Alex must have my phone,” Jellal breathed. “He plays games and bumps calls.” He recognized that he was babbling but couldn’t stop. It was a nervous habit.

“Erza’s been in an accident.”

“What?” Jellal’s grip on his daughter tightened.

“It’s gonna be fine, okay? I’m a block away. I’m leaving Sofia with the kids and I’ll take you to the ER. She’s already there and Mystogan has her -”

“The ER?” He felt like his brain was just firing off nonsense questions.

“Yes the ER. Mystogan is with her now.”

“Right.”

“He’s the best and he won’t let anything happen to her. Okay? Jellal?”

“Yeah, okay.”

“I’m pulling in now.” Jellal heard his brother speaking to Sofia in the background but he couldn’t move. His niece found him in the upstairs hallway still holding a fussy baby with a phone at his ear.

“Uncle J?” Sofia said, gently prying the little girl from his arms. “I’ll handle the kids, okay? Just go. My dad’s in the driveway.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jellal said, snapping out of his stupor. He stuffed handed over the house phone and headed for the stairs.

“Um, Uncle J?” Jellal spun around to face Sofia who pointed at his feet. “You might need some shoes.”

“Right,” Jellal spluttered. “Shoes.”

By the time Jellal joined Siegrain in his car, he’d managed shoes but not real pants. His pajamas would have to do. His mind was stuck in a loop of worst case scenarios. Erza on a stretcher. Erza bleeding. Erza… dying?

Chapter Text

Mystogan leaned back in his chair and propped his feet on his desk. Loose papers spread out over open file folders littered the surface of his desk. His brain wheeled in circles as he mulled over the facts.

“It could be Lupus,” one of his team members offered from the corner.

“It’s never Lupus,” Mystogan muttered. “Go on, get out of here. Come back in the morning with new ideas. We’ll start over then.”

The three of them filed out of his office quickly, eager to scramble together something of a Friday night. In Mystogan’s mind they weren’t much more than Matryoshka Dolls. As far as he knew they all fit inside each other and hid in a supply closet until he saw them again in the morning. He was aware this was a bad attitude for him to have but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Somehow he’d become the over-educated, over-qualified, unemployable, and damn near uninsurable doctor who, simultaneously, was too much of an asset to let go. His department was his own and consisted of two offices and a lab he regularly commandeered - often with no notice. As a diagnostician he was indisputably the best, which was good because he failed at everything else. No one had a worse bedside manner than Doctor Fernandes.

If not for Juvia, Mystogan was pretty sure he’d just start sleeping in a corner of his office to save commute time. Work was the only thing that kept his brain occupied. He needed a project. He needed something to focus on. Otherwise what was he doing?

Juvia made rules and set standards - all of which he was grateful for. She required him home by a certain hour on the nights she didn’t work herself. She required him to change - and wash - his coats and scrubs instead of just buying new ones all the time. She demanded he keep a food journal as proof he was actually eating and not twirling a pencil while staring at his office ceiling all day thinking about all the different ways a staph infection could manifest in odd places. They both knew he didn’t deserve her affections but he wouldn’t push her away. Not again. He needed her.

He needed the way she left their sheets smelling of intoxicating Japonica. He needed the way she spoke to her mother for hours in Spanish he could understand but also not. Mystogan had only ever bothered to learn Castilian Spanish, which was quite different than what Juvia grew up speaking with her family in Mexico. He needed the loud Latin music she played on Saturday mornings when she mopped every floor in the house with bleach and lemon.

There were things she needed from him too. She needed his full attention on the days when she spent too many emotions on her patients. Juvia delivered life into this world but sometimes life came right alongside death. On those days she needed him to distract her. Mystogan didn’t mind leaving bruises on her skin or marks on her neck when she wanted them, but he couldn’t let the day end without a kiss on her shoulder. An unspoken I love you and I’m here.

“Hey,” Juvia’s voice dragged him from the hedge maze in his head. “Are you on Mars or what?” she demanded with a scowl.

“What?” He blinked and pushed his glasses up to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“I’ve been paging you for five minutes. You need to get your ass down to the ER.”

“What?” Mystogan parroted again. “Why?”

“We can walk and talk.” Juvia whirled around and started down the hall. Mystogan struggled to catch up. “It’s Erza. She’s on her way in.”

“What’s this got to do with me?”

“She’s in an ambulance, Papi.” Juvia grabbed his arm and dug her fingernails in. “It was nasty. The roads are a mess in all this rain.”

“What happened?” Mystogan’s mind sharpened to a fine point.

“Traffic light crash. Some guy t-boned her and it looks like a broken arm and maybe a rib. My cousin sent me the heads up. He’s riding tonight.”

“Who’s in the ER?”

Juvia snorted. “Does it matter? They won’t stop you from stepping in.”

“They give her anything yet?”

“He’s got midazolem in his box but without an order -“ Juvia trailed off and pulled her phone out of her pocket. “Say the word.”

“Order the midazolem. I don’t want her in pain and I don’t want her to freak out in front of Jellal.”

“He’s on his way,” Juvia whispered, loosening her grip on his arm. “Well, he will be when your brother picks him up.”

Juvia was silent in the elevator after ending the call with her cousin. “You need a second?”

“You’re not in delivery tonight?” he asked, finally taking her in. Her smile was tired but sure.

“Not anymore. My shift ended an hour ago.”

“Why’re you still here?”

“Because you’re still here, dummy.” Juvia rose up her her toes to plant a kiss on his lips. “We leave together on Fridays, remember?”

Mystogan hadn’t remembered. “Right.”

The elevator door slid open and his brain switched gears once again. He spotted Erza’s scarlet hair right away. She’d only just been moved to a bed. Despite the obvious condition of her arm and the flowering bruises on her torso, she smiled at him.

“How’re you feeling, Erza?” he asked, peeking under the damp fabric of her shirt to inspect the bruising. A quick light in her eye told him she wasn’t exactly at her most lucid - her voice confirmed it.

“I’m great,” she slurred.

“We’re gonna fix you up, okay?”

“Yeah?” Erza asked in a heavy breath. “I need to be fixed up.”

“Juvia, can you get the x-ray and -“

“On it,” she chirped and slipped between the curtains. Mystogan felt around Erza’s forearm and confirmed she had a broken bone. Maybe they could set it without pins, maybe not. He turned to peek in the cabinets for fresh gloves but stopped when Erza’s good arm shot out and her fingers clenched in the flap of his white coat.

“You’re going to fix me?” she asked in a tone he wasn’t quite comfortable with. “Right here on this table?”

“Uh -“

“I need it, Jellal, I don’t even mind if you rip my panties again. They’re cheap.”

“Erza -“

“Will you fuck me like you did that one time at the theater? Or like the time in the dressing rooms at the mall?” Erza laughed sloppily. “Do you remember the time at Disneyland when we were on that boat ride with the tunnel and all those creepy mechanical kids?” She stumbled all over the word ‘mechanical’.

Mystogan felt his face twist into… something. Was this really happening? “She thinks you’re Jellal,” Juvia whispered from behind him. Mystogan jumped.

“But I - I’m not Jellal,” he hissed.

“She doesn’t know that.” Juvia shrugged, set aside her tray of supplies, and grinned. “So are you going to fix her up, Papi? I think she wants it.”

“What is wrong with you?” Had everyone gone mad?

Juvia laughed. “You can have X-Ray B in ten minutes. I’ll be right back.”

“Please, Jellal,” Erza whined. Her grip was surprisingly strong when she tugged him down close enough for her lips to brush the shell of his ear. Her whispered words were absolutely scandalous and filthy and damn near unbelievable. Never in his life had he considered his brother to be such a… Mystogan’s skin burned right up to the tips of his ears. “I need it,” she breathed as her hand finally released his coat.

“Nurse!” Mystogan called. “Juvia!” he shouted again in a rare breach of personal protocol. “What is it?” she asked, stepping back on his side of the privacy curtains. “Did things get a little too heated in here?”

“Just dope her up, will you? I can’t take any more of… of that.”

Juvia laughed lightly as she set Erza up with an IV drip and wheeled her away for an x-ray. He’d meant to handle everything himself but she’d shaken him. Hard.

When Jellal arrived he was clad in pajama pants and flip flops. Mystogan didn’t join them until he’d cleaned up. Erza had required two pins to set her arm and would need to take it very easy for a while. Fractured ribs were no laughing matter.

“She’ll be fine,” Mystogan muttered joining his brothers in Erza’s room. “We can discharge her in the morning.” He glanced around. “Where’s the kids?”

“They’re at home with Sofia,” Siegrain said from the far bench. “Mom’s taking over. It’s fine.”

“Is she really going to be okay?” Jellal’s face was etched all over with concern. Mystogan pursed his lips.

“Yeah, trust me,” he said, pretending to look over her chart - anything to keep him from having to look directly at Erza. “She’ll be good as new.”

“Thanks,” Jellal breathed. “I don’t know what I would do if -“

“You’re so dramatic,” Mystogan cut him off. “Sieg, can I see you in the hallway?” Siegrain quirked an eyebrow but left the bench on command. Jellal took a seat in a chair near Erza’s bed and buried his face in her blankets.

“What’s up with you?” Siegrain asked once they were alone in the hallway.

“Remember when we always thought Jellal and Erza were the boring ones?”

“What?” Siegrain shook his head.

“You know,” Mystogan huffed in frustration. “First love, only love - all that bullshit.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Mystogan cleared his throat. “I’m pretty sure they’re the freakiest of us all.”

Siegrain only stared and blinked. “I don’t believe you. How do you know that?”

“Erza was given a procedural sedative in the ambulance.”

“What the fuck is a procedural sedative?”

“Nothing.” Mystogan shook his head. “It just made her kind of loopy. She said some stuff to me while she was out of her mind.”

Siegrain’s mouth twisted into a smirk. “What kind of stuff?”

“Like… stuff.”

“You’ve never been a prude, Mystogan. What did she say? You have to tell me!”

“She thought I was Jellal. She wanted me to ‘fix her up’ in the ER.” Siegrain exploded into laughter and Mystogan grabbed his arm to drag him into a corner of the hallway. “Keep it quiet, would you?”

“No, I’m sorry, I can’t keep quiet. This is insane. What exactly did she say?”

“I’ll show you the video if you get me something nice for Christmas,” Juvia said, poking into their conversation.

“What?” Mystogan croaked. “Video?”

“Oh come on,” she teased. “You blushed. I had to get the evidence.” Juvia breezed past them with coffee for Jellal and disappeared into Erza’s room. When Mystogan turned back to Siegrain he was met with an absolutely wicked grin.

“Marry her,” he said with finality. “And I’m getting her diamonds for Christmas if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

“Yeah, well, I’m pretty sure if Erza finds out about any of this, defending myself will be the last thing I ever do.”

Chapter Text

His mother always parked on the west side of the mall at the JC Penny entrance. This was for two reasons. One, the little boys’ section was near the doors. Two, the food court was just beyond the store exit. 

Siegrain hated the mall. He didn’t like being stuck at his mother’s occupied hip. Jellal always commanded her left hand - the right needed to be free to dig through clothing racks - and Mystogan always stood obediently next to Jellal. When their father accompanied them on weekends, he would always reserve one hand each for Mystogan and Siegrain. It all felt very unfair. Siegrain wanted his own hand. Not just an opposite arm to his brother.

For the last week Anna had been unusually sentimental. He’d caught her quietly shedding tears over a box of too-small clothes and the new bags of clothes she’d purchased for their first ever year of real school. Siegrain didn’t like to see his mother cry. It hurt him in places he didn’t like to think about. Places with feelings and all that other goopy stuff. At dinner the previous evening, she’d broke the news that he and his brothers would be subjected to a round of professional photographs. Siegrain thought his father should’ve put up more of a fight.

So on a perfectly good Saturday afternoon, Siegrain found himself lined up with his brothers - the photographer would not stop talking about how adorable they all were in their little matching suits and ties - like a reluctant duckling while a camera flash blinded them all. Jellal, of course, was an angel and smiled brightly. Mystogan remained largely stoic but tugged on his shirt collar more than once. Siegrain made a point to smile for the camera but between every single snap, he scowled.

“How old are they?” the photographer asked Anna as if they weren’t even there. Siegrain hated when people did that. As if they were a sideshow.

“Five,” Anna said wistfully. “They start kindergarten in two months. I still remember when they were babies.”

Siegrain struggled not to roll his eyes. He didn’t know how much more parental nostalgia he could take. Seriously, who sobbed over old t-shirts? His mother, apparently.

“Well,” the photographer said, finally stepping away from the camera setup. “They’re absolutely adorable. Like a little matching set!”

At that, Siegrain stripped off his suit jacket. He stomped petulantly to where his father sat in a chair reading emails on his Blackberry - a new thing his mother hated - and thrust the suit into Acnologia’s lap.

“Done already?” he asked hopefully.

“I think Siegrain’s had enough,” Anna said with a sigh.

“I’ll have some proofs for you in about an hour or so. My assistant is pretty quick about it.”

When they finally left the studio storefront, Siegrain’s stomach rumbled irritably. His father offered him a hand but he refused.

In hindsight, Siegrain couldn’t exactly say what made him duck around a pillar after lunch and march back to the photography studio. He couldn’t really pinpoint when the idea formulated in his head to simply pop into another family’s photo session. And he certainly had nothing to say to his mother and father when they returned, red-faced and bewildered, to the studio in a panic demanding to know what on earth he was doing.

The photographer’s assistant showed him the proofs of the pictures he’d invaded while his parents profusely apologized to the photographer and offered to pay extra for their own photos.

“This one’s my favorite,” the assistant said quietly, pointing at the screen of her computer. “Everybody’s laughing and you’ve got a dimple in your left cheek. Did you know that?”

“My brothers all have one,” Siegrain pouted.

“Maybe so,” she murmured, printing him a copy on regular paper. “But neither of your brothers photobombed a shoot today.” She handed him the print and smiled. Her eyes were bright and blue Siegrain decided he liked them. He also liked her honey blonde hair. “You’ve got more nerve than a fox in a hen house, kid. Use that for the forces of good and not evil and I’d say we’ll call it even on the print.”

“Deal.” Siegrain carefully folded the paper and stuffed it in his pocket.

On the drive home, neither of his parents said a word about what happened. Jellal was silent in solidarity. Mystogan was distracted by a way-too-thick book about worms - or something. Siegrain quietly decided the day had been worth it and kept the flattened print out of the photograph under his pillow.

Chapter Text

Erza reached for her phone and scowled. Because she never could tell the difference between a drunk text and an emergency, she opened the message.

“Ugh, god,” she breathed. Erza locked her phone again and her head hit the pillow. It wasn’t two minutes later when the vibration on the side table trampled her attempt at returning to sleep. Sure enough, it was yet another messy text message. She rolled over and poked Jellal in the shoulder. “Hey,” she said a little too loud.

“Hm.” He wasn’t awake. Not really.

“Hey,” Erza said louder. She sat up in the bed and tucked the sheets under her arms. Jellal may have had a private dorm room but she wasn’t taking chances with giving some hapless, drooling freshman a free show.

“What?” he muttered.

“Tell your brother to stop texting me these stupid memes in the middle of the night.”

“Mm, what?”

Erza dangled her phone in front of Jellal’s face. “Siegrain keeps texting me. Make him stop.”

“Mmkay, I’ll call him tomorrow.” Even as Jellal spoke and tugged on her sheets, begging her to lay back down, Erza’s phone vibrated again.

“No, tell him now. I can’t sleep.”

Jellal groaned and rolled over. “You tell him. He likes you more than me anyway.” His words fell away and his breaths evened back out. Erza was irritated. She glared down at her phone.

‘Stop texting me, you ass. It’s 3am!’

‘You don’t like a good late night laugh?’

‘No! Fuck off, please.’

‘What about this one?’ He sent another.

Erza pursed her lips and decided to play a card she’d never considered before. A desperate one. ‘If you don’t go away and stop texting me past 9pm, I’m going to tell everyone you have a dick pic blog on tumblr. Lucy has receipts. I swear to god, I’ll ruin Christmas.’

Siegrain didn’t respond for a full minute. ‘So did you look at them? Which one was your favorite? I just need to know for science.’

‘You really don’t care that I’ll show your mom what you do on tumblr?’

‘If you think my mother will be shocked or appalled that I have a dick pic blog, I don’t know what to tell you.’

‘You’re disgusting.’

‘Sure. But seriously. Which ones were most visually appealing?’

Erza snorted and simply muted him - a thing she realized she should’ve done in the first place. She fell back against her pillows and when Jellal rolled back over and pressed his face into her neck, Erza ran her fingers through his hair. How could two people look so much alike and be completely different people? She made a face and realized that was the wrong question. The better question was why she ever assumed Anna would be be in any way surprised Siegrain had a tumblr blog filled with pictures of his own penis.

Chapter Text

With every passing second Erza spent inspecting the picture, the wider Siegrain’s grin spread - and the more Jellal’s face crumpled into disbelief.

“Well,” she began hesitantly, pursing her lips and adjusting the zoom on Siegrain’s phone. “I mean, it could be Jellal.” She glanced up at Jellal with a pained smile. “You do play basketball and everybody knows basketball shorts sag sometimes. It could be your…” Erza grimaced and pushed the phone back across the table with barely hidden disgust. “Why is this so important?”

“Really, Erza?” Jellal said in his most pathetic puppy dog voice. “You don’t just know?”

“Honestly, Jellal,” she huffed. “Pretty much every ass cheek looks the same. You’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.”

“But -”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Siegrain interjected. “It’s me. That’s my ass. And those aren’t basketball shorts, they’re soccer shorts.” He pointed at the exposed knee. “Basketball shorts are longer.”

Erza made a disgusted sort of sound - one he’d grown quite fond of. “Who actually cares? Why was I subjected to this anyway?”

“The student news site has a new thing called Guess Who? and every week they post a cropped photo of one of us. Whoever guesses it right first gets a prize.”

“Erza, I can’t believe you can’t tell my ass from Sieg’s.” Jellal whined.

“Who’s creeping around on campus snapping pictures of your ass during athletics?” Erza went on, ignoring Jellal’s betrayed expression.

Siegrain smirked. “I don’t know but I’m going to take advantage of this.”

“What’s the prize?”

“You’ve seen my ass lots of times,” Jellal went on. He dropped his head into the nest of his arms on the table.

“Taco Bell gift cards.” Siegrain said with a shrug. Erza remained skeptical and absently carded her fingers over the ruffled points of Jellal’s hair.

“As long as you leave me out of your scam, I won’t tell anyone.” She sighed. “You’ve already had one victim. Look at him, Sieg. He’s got anxiety now.”

“He’ll get over it. Just show him your ass and I’m sure he’ll be fine.” Siegrain left his brother to Erza and by the time he reached his last class of the day, he had a plan.

“So, let me make sure I understand all this,” Mystogan said, leaning back in his chair and setting aside his glasses. “Siegrain gets caught with his pants hanging off his ass and now Jellal’s day is ruined because Erza thought it was his ass?”

Siegrain shrugged. Jellal glared.

“What’s any of this got to do with me?”

“I need pictures of you without your glasses,” Siegrain said matter-of-factly. “It’ll only take a minute.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s not funny if it’s conventional. The rules don’t say anything about the submissions of us being at the school or actually enrolled. It’s perfect.”

“What’s perfect?”

Jellal finally sighed loudly. “You’re doing that thing where you talk ten steps ahead of what’s happening. Mystogan can’t follow without breadcrumbs.”

“No,” Mystogan said tartly. “No, I can’t. I don’t go to your school and I have no clue what’s happening or why it’s happening in my room. What I do know is that when Sieg shows his ass, he shows all our asses.”

“It’s just a game,” Siegrain snapped. “Apparently the student news site has been taking submissions of cropped photos of me and Jellal. They post them and the first comment to guess it right wins.”

“What do you win?”

“Taco Bell gift cards.”

“But you don’t like Taco Bell,” Mystogan pointed out.

“That’s not the point.” Siegrain stretched across Mystogan’s bed. “The point is, my ass was on the internet and anyone is going to profit from it, it’ll be me.”

“It wasn’t even your whole ass,” Jellal groused. “It was just -“

“Whatever,” Mystogan interrupted, reaching for his glasses. “I don’t care about the pictures. I just want the gift cards since I’m the one being exploited here.”

“Why?” Jellal demanded in horror. “Dad would lose his shit if he knew you were eating fast food tacos.”

Mystogan shrugged. “I like Quesaritos. Sue me.”

“You can have all the gift cards, I don’t care. I just want to win. Tomorrow we’ll take enough pictures to submit until Christmas.”

“Okay but they’re not going to let you win,” Jellal insisted. “It’s not a fair contest if one of us is allowed to comment.”

Siegrain shot Jellal a strong side eye. “A fair contest?” he deadpanned. “The school news site published a picture of half my ass cheek without my consent. How’s that fair?”

Jellal snorted. “It’s nothing worse than what you post on Snapchat every day.”

“The key word is consent. The picture on the site hardly shows my good side.”

“It was of your ass,” Mystogan muttered, turning back to his laptop. “I think we can all agree it showed your good side.”

No one caught on that the photos were anonymously submitted by Siegrain - or that the person in the pictures was Mystogan and not Siegrain or Jellal - until late November. Siegrain had a stack of six Taco Bell gift cards by that point and the site editor shut down the game. She also went so far as to block every one of his known VPN IP’s from anonymous activity on the site. Feeling victorious, Siegrain handed over the gift cards to Mystogan.

It wasn’t until late January - four days after their eighteenth birthday - when Acnologia stalked into the kitchen and tossed a crumpled, brown napkin on the counter. The room went silent.

“What is this?” he asked. “Who left this napkin on the floor of the garage for me to find?”

From the corner of his eye Siegrain saw Mystogan suck in a breath and open his mouth to speak. Anna beat him to it.

“It’s mine,” she said in a quiet voice. “It’s mine and I’m so sorry.”

“How could you, Anna?” Acnologia asked in a soft but deeply offended voice. “Is the cook not satisfying your palette? Have I not satisfied your palette?”

Mystogan, Siegrain, and Jellal all made faces of varying degrees of discomfort.

“It’s not that,” Anna whispered. “It’s just that sometimes I just… I just wanted Chipotle. I like the guacamole there and they have very nice vegetarian options.” Mystogan inched backwards in disbelief. Siegrain’s eyes flit back and forth between his parents and Jellal’s mouth fell open.

“Did the temptation take you so forcefully that a napkin found its way here?”

“I-“ Anna paused and sucked in a breath. “No. I eat it in the car.” Acnologia’s eyes slid closed and he sighed. “I’m so sorry. I enjoy your cooking, I do. But sometimes I just really want something else.”

“Mystogan eats Taco Bell,” Jellal blurted.

“You traitor!” Mystogan gasped. Siegrain could not contain his glee. He stepped away from his brothers and angled his body in a way similar to Acnologia. He didn’t care to be dragged into Jellal’s treasonous riptide.

“You were just going to let mom go down alone?” Jellal demanded. Siegrain cleared his throat.

“She’s not alone,” he added with far too much enthusiasm. “I’ve got pictures of you swiping Mystogan’s left over Quesaritos after he’s passed out.”

“You know,” Acnologia said in disbelief. “I never figured it would be Siegrain to be the most loyal.” Siegrain preened.

“It’s because I love you the most, dad.”

“Don’t get carried away,” Acnologia said dryly.

Anna waited patiently for her husband to join her in bed. For all his commentary on Siegrain’s bathroom full of snobby products, he spent a lot of time massaging conditioner into his long hair. When he finally slid beneath the sheets, the bulk of it was in a thick braid.

“I’m sorry about the Chipotle,” she said quietly, reaching for the lamp cord.

“Oh, I don’t care about that.” Acnologia kissed her temple and pulled her against him. “I didn’t even see where the napkin came from. I just assumed it was of the same place as the Taco Bell wrappers that were stuffed away under the champagne bottles from the New Years party.”

“Clever trap.” Anna’s fingers toyed with the hem of his t-shirt. “Are you going to tell the boys?”

“Of course not. Let them worry about it amongst themselves,” he said with a grin. Acnologia pressed his wife into the mattress and kissed her wrist - she always smelled deliciously of lavender. “I’m busy.”

Chapter Text

She winked at him on her way down the aisle and it was everything he loved about her. Lisanna shimmered and when she joined him at the altar his vision narrowed to only her. Siegrain didn’t hear a single word that came out of the priest’s mouth. He was too busy kicking around the empty boxes in his head, desperately looking for one that still had shadows in it. Maybe something red.

He couldn’t remember his vows or the sound of guests applauding the final words of the ceremony. Siegrain could only process the feel of Lisanna’s hands in his and her smiling blue eyes and the wisps of silver escaping the delicate twists of her hair.

The afternoon was a blur. He remembered dancing with his mother and Lisanna’s older sister and then Sofia. When the sun began to set, his wife - what a strange word, wife - found him on the back deck of the venue that overlooked the ocean. She looked even more beautiful in the sunset. Her glow absorbed the red and turned it into something that held his heart more gently than the color by itself ever had.

“I was wondering where you’d run off to,” she whispered, taking his hand. “The guests are starting to leave.”

“Good,” he muttered, sipping a dark bourbon - he hadn’t touched gin in ages.

“You don’t want to say goodbye?”

“Nope. My mom and Sofia are happy to handle that, I’m sure.”

“Jellal and Erza are gone already, too.”

Siegrain laughed lightly and finished his bourbon. “She looked uncomfortable. I’m not surprised.”

“I hear pregnancy is unpleasant at times.”

“I wouldn’t really know,” he said in an almost whisper. The first pang he’d felt all day was a direct hit to his chest.

“Maybe, one day, you’d like to know?” Her cheeks were dusted with an embarrassed pink when he glanced down at her. “It’s just a thought.”

Siegrain’s thoughts jumbled together. “It’s a good thought. I think I would like to know.”

Lisanna rose on her toes and kissed him softly. He couldn’t quite believe he’d never have to kiss anyone else ever again - he didn’t want to. “We’ll talk about it soon.”

“I won’t forget.”

“I’d also like to see about getting this dress off,” she breathed against his lips. “It’s been a long day.”

Chapter Text

When her boys were in high school Anna and Acnologia traveled often. Usually the trips were business related for him and she just tagged along to get away. The expensive hotels and add-ons he made sure she had access to were, in her opinion, his way of trying to make up for traveling so often when the boys were smaller. She’d never considered one trip every few months to be excessive but if he wanted to upgrade the plane tickets or hotels, Anna wouldn’t complain.

Once Sofia came along, Anna hesitated to confirm plans so easily. She worried about Siegrain and Jenny. Of course they had everything they needed, including a list of qualified sitters on standby - but she still worried. Her middle son had taken a lot on his own shoulders and carried the weight of it all with a charming sort of grace. Anna wondered how much of it was a front. Despite her concerns, Siegrain proved himself a capable parent. Sofia was a delightful baby, and Jenny was a wonderful and attentive mother. Anna didn’t think the situation could’ve turned out any better if they’d planned it. This was the only reason she consented to travel with her husband when a toddler lived in her house sixty percent of the time.

Anna still worried, though. She worried about all her boys and tried to keep up via text message. Were they eating properly? Mystogan sometimes forgot to eat. Jellal would live on cheese crackers if Erza didn’t collect him for meals. Siegrain had been caught more than once eating baby food over his laptop while Sofia slept. Group chats were a mistake. Her boys fed off one another so she’d taken to keeping separate threads. Siegrain usually took the longest to respond so she texted him first, then Mystogan, and finally Jellal.

Jellal responded right away with a picture of a takeout spread. Erza’s socks were visible on the edge of the photo so Anna was grateful.

Mystogan responded with a photo of what looked very much like ramen noodles with… a slice of processed cheese on top?

‘What’s that?’

‘Ramen with cheese. It’s not really nutritionally viable but it’s what I have.’

‘Mystogan, we send you money for food. Why are you eating ramen with plastic cheese? Do you need more money?’

Before Mystogan responded Siegrain sent a photo of himself with no shirt on, maybe ten strings of party beads around his neck and a bottle of what looked like malt liquor.

‘What am I looking at, Siegrain?’

‘P4r7y 7ym3’

‘What? Are you drinking? Where’s Sofia?’

‘No clue. Swimming maybe.’

‘Siegrain this isn’t funny. Why do you and your brothers want to scare me?’

‘I’m kidding mom. Sofia’s in bed. I’m living it up in my Minecraft strip club.’

‘Jellal would never say these things to me.’

Mystogan finally responded and Anna felt her face twist into a scowl.

‘I spent all my money on uppers. I’ve been awake for three days.’

‘You and Siegrain are horrible children.’

‘I’m fine, mom. I swear I’m sleeping and I pulled the ramen pic off Google.’

‘You boys are getting bags of charcoal for Christmas. Store brand.’

Anna switched her phone off and tossed it aside. How had she managed to raise such smart ass children? She needed a drink.

Chapter Text

“So is it everything you expected?” Jellal asked, leaning a little too far over his glass - his eyes a little too wide.

“It’s…” Siegrain blinked down into his own glass. The bourbon was dark and satisfying. He wondered how he’d managed to slug back gin for so long. “It’s better.” He smirked oboxiously. “Obviously marriage is nothing but a social contract that means only what you personally need it to mean, a lot like meditation, actually, and we aren’t any different than we were before -”

“Oh, shut the fuck up,” Jellal said. He rolled his eyes and moved to take another drink but found his glass empty. He motioned to the bartender. “You’re so full of shit, Sieg. Everybody says you’re practically glowing.”

“No, Erza is glowing. I’m just a guy who got married.”

Jellal snorted. “Don’t say that to her face. She’ll take your head off. They say the baby could come at any moment but I was ready last week.”

“It’s not old hat by now?” Siegrain raised an eyebrow but Jellal didn’t respond until he had a fresh drink.

“No. She’s grouchier this time. And tired. And the weird shit she eats is going to push me over the last ledge.”

“What kind of weird shit?” Siegrain couldn’t help himself. He was curious. Lisanna hadn’t brought up the subject of a baby since the wedding - not that there’d been a whole lot of time for her to do so.

“Like chips and apple sauce. I don’t get it. She never had weird cravings before.” Jellal sighed and his shoulders drooped. “She doesn’t want any more kids.”

“Do you?”

“I wouldn’t care if she wanted more but I’m tired, too. Babies are hard.” He scowled. “I don’t remember Sofia being so hard. Alex is needy.”

“So he’s just like you then?” Siegrain snorted. “And anyway, you weren’t around when Sofia was a baby. She was exhausting.”

“Jenny had her a lot, though, right?”

“Nope! I did. Don’t you remember?” Of course, Jellal didn’t remember. He’d been away. Siegrain recalled, with a small sting, that for a long time it had been a merry-go-round of hours alone with Sofia, his mother, and Jenny. Handling the bulk of Sofia’s care himself had been a much larger undertaking than originally anticipated. He didn’t regret it at all, Jenny graduated right on time, but the exhaustion had been real.

“I can’t believe you did all that mostly by yourself, Sieg. It’s insane. People who have children are insane!”

Siegrain shrugged. “I guess.”

“Juvia’s pregnant,” Mystogan said abruptly.

Jellal’s mouth fell open.

Siegrain just stared. “I’m sorry, what? What?”

“Jesus, man, are you just gonna drop all your news on us like bombs? I don’t know about Sieg but I could use a warm up every now and then!”

Mystogan took a deep breath. “It… wasn’t a planned thing.”

“Wow.” Siegrain knocked back the rest of his bourbon and shifted in the booth to get a better look at his brother. “I never really expected that from you.”

“Yeah, me neither,” Jellal chimed in.

“Why not?” Mystogan managed an offended expression for a brief second before letting it fall away. “Yeah, I guess I didn’t really expect it from myself.”

“Are you… I mean, you guys are going to keep it or…”

“Juvia’s excited.” He sighed again and his eyes rolled to the ceiling. “I’m terrified.”

“Aw, don’t be!” Jellal said in a much lighter tone. “Babies are a piece of cake!”

“You just said they were exhausting and Erza would murder Sieg for mentioning the possibility of her glowing. Where exactly is the cake?”

“No, no,” Jellal went on sloppily. He’d never been a tidy drunk. “It’s fine, it’s great I promise. You’ll do great! Right, Sieg?” Siegrain swallowed back a yelp when Jellal’s foot made contact with his shin.

“Yeah, dude, it’s fine,” he choked out. “When’s she due?”

“I don’t know yet.” Siegrain quirked an eyebrow and glanced at Jellal. Mystogan went on quickly. “I mean, she had an appointment. I guess she can’t treat herself right?” He laughed an odd little laugh. “I just wasn’t there because I had a case and I was late and missed it.”

“I see.” Siegrain pushed his glass away.

“I can’t believe I missed the first appointment,” he whispered. “I feel like I’m a bad father already. What if I forget the actual child?”

“You won’t,” Siegrain said with a sarcastic lilt.

“How can you know that?”

“Because,” Jellal said smartly. “The kid will likely be screeching in your ear a lot. Babies do that. Sometimes all at the same time.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about mom lately,” Mystogan said under his breath.

“You’ll have to tell her and dad.”

“Juvia wanted to wait until she’s a little further along. The statistical probability of miscarrying -”

“Stop,” Jellal interrupted, holding up a hand. “Stop that. You can’t whittle a pregnancy down to statistics. It’s pointless. If she wants to wait to tell anyone, that’s fine. But don’t head down the path of statistics.”

“You don’t think this is important?” Mystogan demanded. Jellal remained impassive.

“One of Erza’s good friends from college did IVF a few years ago. She’s already a… tedious woman. Toss in all the hoops of IVF and whatever else, and I couldn’t even be in the same room as the three of them.”

Siegrain laughed. “You just don’t like Kagura.”

“She’s difficult,” Jellal muttered.

“She doesn’t take shit. That’s not the same as difficult,” Siegrain insisted.

“Anyway,” Mystogan cut in. “Don’t mention to Juvia that I said anything to you. She’ll probably want to wait until Christmas.”

“Your secret is safe with us,” Siegrain promised. Both he and Mystogan leaned over the table in the exact same way and Jellal sat back against the booth.

“What?”

“Promise to keep it a secret,” Siegrain said in a low voice.

“I will! Who would I possibly tell?”

Mystogan pursed his lips and Siegrain’s head fell to the side. “Don’t act like you won’t go home tonight and spill your guts to Erza. You always do.”

“I would never!” Jellal huffed and then flinched under the gaze of his brothers. “Yeah, okay. I’ll probably tell her.”

“Just make sure the buck stops there. Mom’s gonna flip when she finds out. Don’t wreck it.”

“You guys act like I’m always blowing holes in secrets.”

Mystogan grimaced and shook his head. “You ratted me out to dad about Taco Bell in high school because you thought we were selling mom out with her Chipotle habit.”

“Yeah?” Jellal snapped. “Well Sieg ratted me out, too!”

“Okay, okay, whatever. Shut up both of you,” Siegrain said, spreading his hands out on the table. “Let’s have one more drink. “ He signaled the bartender. “This one’s for Mystogan; Secret Keeper Extraordinaire.”

Their glasses clinked together and Siegrain’s sloshy mind drifted once more back to Lisanna’s question. He did want another baby. And this time it wouldn’t be done ass backwards.

Chapter Text

Siegrain rapped his knuckles on Jellal’s door frame. “When Mystogan gets home, we’re going out.”

“We are?”

“Yep. Be ready.”

“But why?” Jellal sat up in his bed, already in pajama pants.

“Because he’s been a major downer lately and it’s Saturday.” Jellal blinked in confusion and Siegrain sighed. “It’s Saturday in the middle of summer and he’s at school. What were you planning on doing instead?”

“Well -”

“Don’t even pretend you were going to do anything other than sext Erza. We’re going out. Get a shirt on.” Siegrain spun around and headed back to his own room. He didn’t actually have a plan and he’d derailed any blossoming thoughts by mentioning ‘sext’ and ‘Erza’ in the same sentence. He really needed to get a grip.

“McDonald’s is closer.” Mystogan said, clicking his seatbelt into place.

“Yeah but DQ has better ice cream.”

“Let’s hit the park on Wisteria first,” Jellal said from the back seat.

“Why?” Siegrain glanced in the rearview as Jellal pulled a baggie from his pocket. The smell of weed invaded the interior of the car right away. He burst into laughter and Mystogan twisted around to see what was happening.

“Where did you get that?” he demanded.

Jellal shrugged. “I know a guy. Who cares? We’ll hit the park and then get a Blizzard.”

“You know a guy?” Mystogan asked, turning back around as Siegrain pulled out of the driveway.

“Yes! I know lots of people!”

“Does Erza know you have that?”

“Hey, Erza isn’t the boss of me,” Jellal said, wiggling his fingers into the baggie and breaking up the sticky bud. “I do what I want.”

“He does what he wants, Mystogan,” Siegrain said with smarmy sarcasm.

“You guys are just jealous that I don’t have to jerk off alone in the shower,” Jellal muttered, still poking around in the baggie.

“Excuse you?” Siegrain shot back. “I haven’t had to jerk it alone in the shower since I was fourteen.”

“Shut up, I get college girls so both of your arguments are invalid.”

Jellal snorted. Siegrain hesitated and then shrugged. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”

The park was mostly dark except for the streetlamp on one corner of the parking lot. Siegrain pulled into the spot furthest from the light and cracked the windows and the sunroof. Jellal produced a perfectly rolled joint and took the first hit that was mostly paper.

After a moment, Jellal leaned forward between the passenger and driver’s seats. “Do you really pull college girls?”

“Sometimes,” Mystogan said around a mouth full of thick smoke. “Nineteen year olds aren’t much different than the girls at your school. The idea that college girls are somehow magical is bullshit.”

“That’s disappointing,” Siegrain muttered, flicking a bit of ash over the edge of the window. “What about the frat? Don’t you have a leg up because of them?”

“I don’t have time for all that shit. This one girl I met at a mixer had the kind of daddy complex you really only read about on Reddit. It was disconcerting.”

“Wow,” Jellal said.

“Sherry called me daddy once,” Siegrain blurted. He instantly regretted it but the words had flown the coop. Weed always made him chattier than normal.

Mystogan choked on the smoke and Jellal devolved into a fit of laughter.

“What did you say to her, Sieg?”

“I didn’t really react because it’s a hell of a thing to just… say out loud.”

“Damn,” Jellal finally spluttered. “I don’t think I’ll be able to look at her the same way now. It makes me grateful Erza wasn’t ever given the opportunity to know her dad.” He sucked on the end of the joint thoughtfully. “Daddy. Yikes.”

“Another girl in one of my bio classes had a bunch of stuff I can only describe as equipment.” Mystogan said in a far away voice. “It was distracting.”

“You’re really taking the shine off college,” Siegrain said.

“I’m just warning you. It’s not a Girls Gone Wild video.” Mystogan rolled his window down the rest of the way and breathed in the hot July air. “My pool is small anyway. I’m stuck with the ones who graduated early and under nineteen. It’s like being trapped in a Thai restaurant while being Jellal.”

Jellal coughed. “What?”

“Everything is covered in peanut sauce and I can’t have any of it.”

“That’s the stupidest analogy I’ve ever heard,” Siegrain said biting back a laugh and putting out the stub of a joint. Mystogan sat back against his seat and grinned widely.

“Yeah that was pretty bad. I’m just hungry.”

“Let’s get a Blizzard. I need cookies in my life,” Siegrain said, starting up the car.

“Peanut sauce isn’t even that good,” Jellal mumbled. “And I can have some Thai.”

“I’m pretty sure mom would freak out if she caught wind of you eating Thai food again after what happened with Erza’s mom.” Mystogan laughed in a way that made Siegrain think he hadn’t really laughed in a while. He couldn’t imagine being in his brother’s situation.

“That was almost a year ago!”

“It’s going to take her much longer than that to get over you ingesting a sauce that was poisonous to you on purpose, just to impress Erza’s mom.”

“I saw her in a dressing gown once after I took Erza home from that beach party.” Siegrain’s mouth was spewing words without his permission again. “It was hot.”

There was a full minute of silence before he truly processed what he said. Jellal spoke up first.

“Erza’s mom is not hot. She’s terrifying. What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“She’d eat you for a snack, Sieg,” Mystogan whispered in horror. “Not even a meal. A snack!”

Siegrain shrugged. “It wouldn’t be the worst way to go.” He really wished his mouth would stitch itself closed.

“We should just go to McDonald’s,” Mystogan said again. “DQ is so far away. I’m hungry now.”

“When did you get so impatient?” Siegrain asked with a sigh. He took the left turn, though and pulled into McDonald’s.

“I’ve always been impatient. Why do you think I’ve been in university classes since we were fifteen?”

“Good point.”

Siegrain swallowed his disappointment along with the not-quite-as-good McFlurry, though, he was grateful for the change of subject. Jellal hadn’t said a word since stuffing his face with ice cream. As he pulled back out into the road that would take them home, Mystogan suddenly held his cup upside down.

“See? These are just as good as Blizzards.” He jiggled the cup and Siegrain felt an impending sense of doom building in his gut. “They really just don’t come -”

A blood curdling scream filled the car as Mystogan’s ice cream slid from it’s paper cup and landed on the floorboard of Siegrain’s car with a sickening slop. Siegrain shook his head. A McFlurry absolutely was not a Blizzard.

Chapter Text

After Juvia yawned for the fourth time that afternoon, Siegrain elbowed Mystogan in the ribs. He sloshed his drink and glared.

“What?” Mystogan hissed.

“Are you kidding me? She’s fading, man! Drop your bomb and get her off the hook for a nap!” Siegrain huffed in frustration when Mystogan shook his head in confusion. “She’s tired. Pregnancy makes you tired. Erza’s napped through more than one family function. Do you not pay attention to anything?”

“I pay attention plenty.” He stopped short of accusing Siegrain of being hyper aware of Erza in past years. “I just wanted to wait until after dinner,” he offered weakly.

“Why? What’s the point of that?”

“What’s the point of what?” Jellal asked, closing off the circle of three.

“Mystogan needs to tell mom and dad about the baby so Juvia can knock off upstairs.”

Jellal glanced back over his shoulder where Juvia stood with their mother, Erza and Lisanna. She politely covered her mouth in yet another yawn - and it hadn’t gone unnoticed. Erza quirked an eyebrow and Anna’s eyes narrowed every so slightly.

“Sieg’s right,” Jellal agreed. “Just do it.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just -” He stared down into his glass with a scowl.

“Does she still want to keep it quiet?” Siegrain prodded, eyeing Mystogan closely. He was twitchy. Mystogan wasn’t ever twitchy.

“No,” he snapped. “No, it’s not about that. There’s just some things -” Mystogan sighed and spun around to face the room. “Uh, mom, dad?”

Acnologia looked up from his spot on the couch where he was surrounded by Sofia and her cousins. He adjusted his reading glasses and glanced at Anna who shrugged. Erza shifted uncomfortably and Lisanna winked at Siegrain who felt a blush creep into his cheeks.

Juvia saved Mystogan from his indecision by nodding at him encouragingly.

“Juvia’s pregnant.” Anna’s face lit up and she turned to Juvia. The volume level in the room suddenly swelled. “It’s twins,” Mystogan said in a much louder, much stiffer voice.

Erza nearly choked on her cocktail. Lisanna bit into her lip - hard. Anna’s mouth fell open and Acnologia tilted his head to the side and blinked.

“And there it is,” Jellal drawled quietly into the last of his whiskey.

“Oh, my god,” Siegrain muttered from behind Mystogan. “That’s not how you deliver news.”

Chapter Text

Siegrain glanced up at Lucy, whose face was twisted in a disgusted smirk.

“You’ve been making that face all night, what’s your problem?”

“Dating sucks.”

“Yep,” he said, stretching out across the carpeted floor of the living room. Lucy snatched up her laptop to avoid his feet. “That’s why I don’t do it.”

“Like, how do people… find other people? How am I supposed to get out there when every guy I meet is an asshole?”

“Not all men, Lucy.” Siegrain grinned when her scowl deepened. “I’m kidding. We’re total trash.” He held out his hand for her phone. “What’s happening?”

“He keeps sending me weird greetings.” She handed over the phone and leaned back against the couch.

“Damn, how many times is he going to say hello?”

“Until I respond, I guess. Give him ten minutes and he’ll call me an ugly slut.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yep.”

Siegrain’s grin faded. “It can’t be… that bad…” he trailed off as a string of messages popped up into the chat window. “What the fuck,” he whispered.

“Told you.” Lucy didn’t even look up from her laptop.

“He waited like three minutes before calling you a bitch!”

“Not even a new record,” she muttered.

“I can’t believe you deal with this shit.”

“Want to screen my Tinder for me?” She asked jokingly.

“Yeah, okay.”

“That was a joke.”

“No, I’m for real. Let me find you a guy. I have excellent taste. I’ve got a burner phone in my desk and you can have it until I get you a boyfriend.”

“Excellent taste? You just said dating sucked.”

“Well, yeah, it does. For me. But not for you! I can totally find you a date. Let me do this for my favorite cousin.”

“I’m your only cousin.”

“Details.” Siegrain shrugged and slid Lucy’s phone into his pocket.

FireDragonRoar was admittedly a little weird but Siegrain thought the guy wasn’t so bad. Compared to the other weirdos Lucy’s profile seemed to drag in, FireDragonRoar was actually pretty tame. And he hadn’t asked for nudes even once. It was a no brainer date.

He’d said his name was Natsu and Siegrain recognized him right away. The hair was a giveaway but the suit he wore sealed it. Siegrain didn’t stand to greet him but instead waved at him from a patio table. Natsu approached with caution.

“Hey, man, have you seen a blonde around here?”

“You mean Lucy?” Siegrain said with a slick grin. “You’re actually looking for me.”

Natsu’s face bunched in confusion. “But Lucy is a girl. Am I being catfished?”

“Lucy is my cousin. I’m the gatekeeper, not a catfish. Have a seat.”

“So, I’ve been talking to you and not Lucy?”

“Bingo.”

“But -”

“Sit.”

“Okay, man, look, you said fancy dress.”

“Yeah, I did.” Siegrain said, slurping his soda through a straw. “I just wanted to know what you thought fancy dress would be.”

“Okay, that’s fair.” Natsu pulled out a chair. He tugged at the tie around his neck. “Do I have to keep all this on?”

“You’re not gonna strip down are you?” Siegrain quirked an eyebrow.

“Gross! No!” Natsu shrugged off his jacket and pulled the tie loose.

“I admit I’m pretty shocked you showed up in a suit and tie. That’s impressive dedication and shows an ability to follow instructions.”

“Your cousin is cute. I’d have showed up in Naruto cosplay if you’d asked.”

“Good to know.” Siegrain sat up straight as the waitress laid out the assortment of appetizers he’d ordered.

“Wow, that’s a lot of food,” Natsu said, glancing over the dishes.

“I’m a considerate date,” Siegrain said haughtily. “Help yourself. I want you to have a good time.”

“Is this a trick?”

“Not at all. Lucy is very concerned about her relationship status and, as her favorite cousin, I felt like it was my duty to make a date happen for her in the most pleasant way possible.”

“And that means screening her Tinder?”

“Yes, exactly.” He leaned forward. “Do you know how disgusting guys on Tinder are? I can’t even tell you how many assholes I had to wade through.”

“I’m glad I made the cut.”

“You should be. Lucy is great.” Siegrain stuffed his mouth with onion rings and eyed Natsu. “So do you have a daddy kink?”

Natsu choked on his water. “A what? Does Lucy have a daddy kink?” He whispered. “Because that’s not my thing.”

“Nope. This is actually unrelated. A girl called me daddy in bed a while back and I didn’t hate it. My brothers said it was crazy and I just need to know if my reaction was off base.”

“Well -” Natsu began carefully. “I mean, if that’s your thing. Can we talk about Lucy? Like, am I gonna get to meet her or…”

“Oh, yeah, you’re totally in. I’ll give you her temporary number. If she likes you and you two work out, I’ll give her actual phone back and she can give you that number.”

The waitress returned and Siegrain paid the tab along with a hefty tip.

“This is the best date I’ve been on in a while,” Natsu said, leaning back in his chair. “We should do this again.”

“You’re right. A guy could always use more friends.” Siegrain stood and the two of them meandered down the block. “Go ahead and give me your number and I’ll have Lucy text you. Trust me, she’s great. You’ll like her.”

“Thanks, man. I’m gonna go home and get out of this suit.” Natsu paused. “You don’t think she’ll want a fancy dress first date, do you?”

Siegrain laughed. “Lucy? No way. She’ll probably want something that doesn’t include any of that. Take her to that carnival by the pier. She’ll love it.”

“That sounds great.”

After parting ways with Natsu, Siegrain walked for two city blocks before he realized he’d actually driven to the restaurant. Playing matchmaker was exhausting work, apparently.

“Who’s that guy with Lucy?” Mystogan muttered, dipping his hand into the cooler and digging for something that wasn’t loaded with sugar.

“Who?” Siegrain spun around and spotted the two across the pool. “Oh, that’s Natsu.”

“Natsu?” Mystogan snorted. “He’s a loon. I think his dad works with our dad. I know I recognize his last name.”

Siegrain shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know he’s good for Lucy and she’s happy. My greatest accomplishment, really.”

“What’s your greatest accomplishment?” Jellal asked, pushing past them both to find the exact opposite of what Mystogan wanted - a sugary soda.

“Lucy’s boyfriend,” Mystogan said.

“I don’t think so,” Erza appeared at Jellal’s side and plucked the soda can from his hand. “You had all those cookies earlier and you know what sugar does to you.”

Jellal’s face fell in disappointment and Siegrain snickered under his breath.

“But I’m thirsty!”

“Water or tea. No soda. I can’t handle your hyperactivity.” Erza filled a red solo cup with ice and poured the lightly sweetened tea for him.

“Did you say Lucy has a boyfriend?” Jellal asked, finally focusing on the conversation.

“Natsu,” Siegrain piped up. “I like him. Our first date went great.”

“Excuse me -“ Mystogan began.

“What?” Jellal finished.

“I’ve been screening Lucy’s Tinder. Natsu was a diamond in the rough.” He watched Natsu across the pool tell another flop of a joke and despite her annoyance, Lucy was obviously smitten. “Well, okay, he’s still kinda rough. But Lucy likes him.”

“You said first date,” Jellal prodded. “You said your first date was great.”

“Did you go out on a date with Lucy’s boyfriend?” Mystogan demanded.

“Well, yeah.”

“Why?” Both Mystogan and Jellal asked at once.

“How else was I supposed to find Lucy a boyfriend?” Siegrain said incredulously. “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself!”

“This is the most bizarre conversation you three have ever had in my presence. I’d like off the carousel, please.” Erza spun around and wove her way into the small crowd of guests.

“I’m curious why you felt you needed to find Lucy a boyfriend but I also don’t know if I want to ask.” Mystogan said, narrowing his eyes.

“I think maybe Erza was right. I want off this ride,” Jellal added.

“No, no, guys, listen. The things I’ve seen in the Tinder trenches would curdle your milk. Men are terrible. I can’t believe women actually date us. It’s insane, really. I was doing Lucy a favor.” Natsu’s loud laughter could be heard all the way across the yard. “I’m calling them Nalu.”

“Nalu?” Mystogan demanded again but with much less actual interest.

“Yeah, like Natsu plus Lucy. It’s a word!”

“How are we even brothers?” Jellal asked.

“In ten years when Lucy makes cute little blonde babies with him, you’ll see the beauty in what I’ve done.” Siegrain insisted.

“I’m done here.” Mystogan left Siegrain under the shade of the awning and Jellal followed. Siegrain shook his head slowly in disappointment. He felt so misunderstood.

Chapter Text

The party was exactly what he’d hoped but Siegrain couldn’t shake his gloom. Jenny’s pregnancy still hadn’t blown over and he’d been avoiding his father for the last two days. He’d ruined Christmas and his plan for the evening was to get wasted enough to forget all about his impending fatherhood, and Acnologia’s anger, and Anna’s reassurances, and the sympathetic glances of his brothers, and the way Erza had squeezed his arm in an attempt to encourage him. Siegrain wanted to not feel.

After a sickening amount of shots and cups of whatever, a head of not-quite-right red caught his eye. The curls were just as perfectly set as always and on the apple of her cheek was a sparkly pink heart sticker. Her face lit up when she saw him and Siegrain couldn’t stop his lips from curling into a familiar grin. She pressed herself into his side and rose on her toes to whisper in his ear.

“I’ve been wondering if you’d show.” Her breath smelled strongly of Rumplemintz.

“I’d never miss this bash,” he said, sliding his arm around her shoulders. She clung to him more than usual and didn’t play coy at all when he suggested they seek out a more private setting. Hibiki’s parents owned the townhome but rarely occupied it. When he’d still been a high school student, Siegrain had been jealous of the townhouse and it’s lack of parental supervision more than once.

Sherry was Siegrain’s favorite hookup. She always responded to his texts, sent the most creative late night - and sometimes mid-day - pictures, she never pushed too hard or asked too many questions, she was the most low maintenance girl he knew. So when she grabbed his wrist when he moved to slide off the guest bed in one of HIbiki’s many spare rooms, Siegrain froze.

“Are you really leaving?” Sherry asked in a tone he’d never heard from her before. “I thought we could talk for a minute.”

“About what?” He didn’t want to talk at all. He wanted to dress himself and fill his stomach with more booze. Gin preferably. He’d been developing a taste for the bitter stuff.

“About us,” she whispered.

“Us? Is there an us?”

“Well, yeah.”

Siegrain tugged his wrist free of her grip and reached for his pants. “Sherry, I’ve never promised you anything.”

“No,” she murmured. “But I always just - well I just kind of assumed that maybe one day -”

“Well, don’t,” he said with a sharpness he didn’t intend.

“It’s been years. It’s always been you and me at the end of the day, Sieg.”

“It’s never been you and me.” Siegrain pulled his shirt on and leaned over. His elbows dug into his knees painfully. This conversation was a whole lot of everything he tried to avoid. He’d never lied to any of his partners but this felt out of his control.

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s true. I’ve never made one single promise to you, Sherry, other than a good time. And I delivered. Shit, you’ve never even given me a clue that you felt… things!”

“I thought you knew,” she whispered. “I love you, Sieg. I can’t help it. I love you!”

Siegrain stood and buttoned his pants. His shoes weren’t tired properly but that didn’t matter. He couldn’t stay with her. Sherry wasn’t safe anymore. “No you don’t.”

“I do. Don’t tell me how I feel, Siegrain. They’re my feelings and I know what they are.”

“Well, your feelings aren’t my problem. I can’t deal with this right now.”

“When is a better time for you, then?” she snapped back.

“Not ever.” He sighed and turned to face her. She’d wrapped the sheet around herself and her face twisted in an expression he absolutely hated. “I don’t have those kinds of feelings for you, Sherry. I can’t.”

“Is this because of Erza?” Her tone bit at him. “Because she’s with your brother. That’s never going to happen.”

Siegrain couldn’t even retort. He couldn’t fight with her on the subject of Erza. Not only was Sherry not wrong, but it would leave him an empty shell. He couldn’t be an empty shell. There was someone who’d need him soon. “It’s not about Erza.”

Sherry laughed. The sound was high and unhinged. “Sure thing, Sieg. Whatever you say.” She let the sheet fall away from her body and pulled her dress back over her head. With heels in hand she rounded the bed and crossed the room.“It’s not Erza,” he insisted. “There’s someone else.”

“So you’re cheating on a girlfriend? Tell me again about not caring for me.”

“I’m having a baby,” he blurted in a whisper. “Next June or July. I’m going to be a father.”

This time when she laughed it was thicker. “Oh, my god! Wow, you really are a piece of work Siegrain Fernandes.” Sherry grabbed the door knob and when she glanced backward over her shoulder the pink sticker still on her cheek glittered. “You know, you’ve never lied to me before but right now I think you’re lying.”

“I’m going to have a kid, Sherry, it doesn’t matter if you believe me or not.”

She shook her head. “Not about that, Sieg,” she whispered. “About Erza. I hope she never stops breaking your heart.”

Sherry didn’t slam the door like he’d expected. She shut it gently and deprived him of the satisfaction of knowing he’d sent her off mad instead of sad. Her words tightened around his heart like thorns. They pierced him so deeply he thought he’d leave bloody foot prints all over Hibiki’s carpet.

When Ultear found him in the empty park by the public beach he was cold. He’d left his jacket in Hibiki’s spare bedroom and never wanted to see the townhouse again. She draped one of the blankets she kept in her trunk over his shoulders and took a seat next to him. The smell of her cigarette smoke made the liquor in his stomach churn.

“Sherry told me she’s in love with me.”

“That’s unfortunate for her,” Ultear said without flinching.

“I told her about the baby.”

“Why?”

“Because I felt like I needed a reason to push her away.” Siegrain nudged the stray drifts of sand with the toe of his shoe.

“You’ve never been one for prevarications, Siegrain. Why not just give her the brutal truth?”

“She knows the brutal truth,” he muttered bitterly.

“And she hurt you with it.” Her words weren’t a question. Ultear had always been able to see past his bullshit. Sometimes the talent cut him but outside of his brothers, he didn’t have many close friends. Despite her sharp tongue and eyes, he needed her.

“Why did she have to ruin everything?”

“Because love is one of the most destructive forces on the face of this planet. She took a chance and it blew up in her face. Let me ask you this. If Erza was with anyone else besides Jellal, would you take the same risk? Would you lay all your pieces out in front of her and wait for a thumbs up or a thumbs down?”

“I don’t know,” he whispered. “Maybe.”

“You would. You’d do it even though you know in the back of your mind you’d be bad for her.”

“Bad for her?”

“Be honest, Siegrain. Erza is a one dish girl. You’re all about the buffet.”

“I think for the right person -” Siegrain felt her eyes on him and wilted. “You’re right,” he whispered. “I couldn’t make her happy even if she wasn’t with Jellal.” Even as he said the words his heart thudded violently in his chest. Not true! Not true! You could! Lies! She could love you! She really could! You could be enough!

“You need to stop comparing yourself to your brothers. It’ll only hurt you. Stop wanting what others have and see the value in yourself.”

“You sound like my mom.”

Ultear laughed. “Your mother is a saint. You should listen to her more.” She flicked her spent cigarette butt into the bucket of dirty sand beside the trash can and stood. “Come on, you fool, I’ll take you home.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

“You need to, though.” She held out her hand and pulled him to his feet. The world spun and Ultear held fast to his arm.

“I’m gonna have a baby,” he said softly, still feeling the slosh of drunkenness.

“No, Jenny is having a baby. You are going to be a dad.”

Siegrain didn’t respond. He thought maybe he’d run out of words. Ultear dropped him at the curb of his family’s home and Siegrain promised to return her blanket as soon as possible.

The house was warm and he left the blanket in the laundry room. On his way back through the hall toward the stairs he stopped dead in front of the den. Acnologia leaned against the archway puffing on a cigar. Beyond him, Siegrain could see the open piano and the bottle of whiskey on the top. His father said nothing but his gaze didn’t waver. There was nothing in the expression. No anger. No disappointment. Nothing.

“Dad, I -”

Acnologia didn’t let him finish. He turned around to reenter the den. Siegrain stood at the foot of the stairs until the sounds of Spanish television floated softly down the hall.

Even once he’d showered and fell into bed, Siegrain had never felt more filthy in his life.

Chapter Text

Mystogan stood near the window radiating a tension Siegrain couldn’t ignore. His mother, Erza, and Juvia fawned over the identical infants in their pink and purple pajamas. Jellal wrestled the horde of older children on the floor of the living room. Even the littlest one cackled and launched herself across his chest. Acnologia removed his glasses and pressed his shirt sleeve to his forehead. Mystogan turned from the window and watched their father carefully before downing the remainder of his whiskey neat. Lisanna appeared at Siegrain’s side and slid her hand into his with a smile.

“Uh,” Acnologia faced the room and the din lowered. “I want to thank you all for coming.”

“Dad,” Jellal said, moving himself into a sitting position and pulling his youngest into his lap. “We always come.”

“Right,” Acnologia muttered. “You do. That’s -”

The neck of the whiskey bottle clinking against Mystogan’s glass sounded sharper than it should. Siegrain felt an inexplicable anxiety mounting in his chest. His father cleared his throat.

“I have some news and I don’t know quite how to say it.”

Siegrain’s eyes slid over to his mother who held one of the baby girls against her chest. There was something watery in her expression and Siegrain didn’t miss the way Juvia’s hand settled softly on Anna’s arm. The whole room felt wrong.

“I have a sickness of the lungs. I’m told it’s cancerous.”

Anna’s hand moved in a slow circle on the infant’s back. Jellal’s mouth fell open and his expression twisted. His head tilted to the side.

“Cancer? You have lung cancer?” Jellal said slowly. Disbelievingly.

“I’ve had some tests done and -”

“Tests?” Siegrain blurted louder than necessary. He angled his body toward Mystogan who still hung back by the window. “Tests?”

Mystogan shrugged but the movement was clunky and awkward.

“Please, don’t pick a fight with your brother, Sieg,” Anna whispered thickly. “This is hard already.”

“Dad,” Jellal whispered. “What do we do now? Can we do anything? Mystogan?” he asked hopefully.

“It’s aggressive,” Mystogan muttered. “Small cell.”

“What the fuck does that mean?” Siegrain demanded. Lisanna’s hand tightened around his and he swept the room feeling the most angry brand of helplessness. Erza’s eyes slid closed and she leaned into Anna’s side. Sofia suddenly stood and crossed the room to take Acnologia’s hand. She smiled up at him and he smiled back. Siegrain had never felt more gutted in his life.

“It means we’re on the clock,” Mystogan said into his glass before leaving the room.

The backyard was absolutely frigid, the coldest winter in years, and Siegrain found himself without a coat.

“How long have you known?” he asked in the most reasonable voice he could muster.

“Weeks,” Mystogan said utterly without feeling. He’d moved from whiskey to gin. On any other day Siegrain would’ve found this ironic - or maybe coincidental. His mind was too much of a wasteland to decide.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Jellal asked. His hands were stuffed into his coat pockets.

“Because dad asked me not to.”

“When the fuck did we start listening to dad?” Siegrain snapped. “When did we start keeping secrets from each other? Why did you think any of this was okay?”

Jellal’s sigh was loud but he made no move to worm his way into the small space between his brothers. Mystogan finally laughed and Siegrain’s rage intensified.

“This isn’t funny,” he hissed.

“You think I think this is funny?” Mystogan tossed back the rest of his gin and spun around. He pitched to the side but recovered. “It’s not funny at all! I’ve spend my whole fucking life preparing for this moment! I’m fucking renowned! I’ve had so much fucking schooling I could talk any professor in circles!” He reached up and closed his hands around lumps of Siegrain’s sweater. “But I can’t fix our dad?” His eyes narrowed and his face crumpled into something Siegrain felt in the marrow of his bones. “What was the fucking point of it all? Why did I even bother if I can’t fix dad?”

“Mystogan -” Jellal began, grabbing his sleeve.

“And you wanna know what else?” Mystogan went on in a slurred voice. “He won’t let me treat him! He says he wants to die at home with all of us! Can you fucking imagine?” His voice was loud and unwieldy now. “He won’t let me do shit! I’m standing here with all my fucking plaques and degrees all over the wall and he doesn’t want me to do anything! Me!” he finished with a shout.

“Hey,” Jellal whispered. “You have to stop yelling. You’re going to freak out the kids.”

“Sorry,” Mystogan offered sloppily. “You’re right. Of course you’re right.” He released Siegrain and fell into a patio chair. Mystogan stared into the blue depths of the pool. Siegrain felt sympathy for his brother but also a betrayal so acutely he couldn’t do anything but leave him on the patio.

Siegrain kissed his nephew and all of his nieces. He wrapped Anna in his arms and embraced her long enough for her to card her fingers through his hair in a way she hadn’t done since just before Sofia was born. Erza watched him with wide, worried eyes and Juvia mouthed an apology to him. Unlike with Mystogan, Siegrain accepted her comfort.

He found Sofia in the den with Acnologia. They spoke softly in Spanish and worked their way through hymns on the piano. The sight of it broke his heart more thoroughly than anything else in his life. He’d never thought of his father as old before but now he couldn’t unsee it. The grey hair, the not so sturdy shoulders, the fingers that used to be sure were now curled just a little too much. Siegrain’s mind spiraled out of control and a slideshow of a quick decline and death stole his breath.

Lisanna’s hand slid into his for the second time that night and he felt her lips press against his shoulder. He’d planned on leaving for the night but now he didn’t think he could pull Sofia away. Maybe he’d always been the worst son - the most disappointing - but Sofia made the old man smile in the softest way he’d ever seen. Siegrain turned away from them and pulled Lisanna to the bottom step of the stairs. He sank down and when she joined him, his head fell to her shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “What do you need?”

“I can’t believe he lied to us,” Siegrain whispered. “We don’t keep secrets. We’ve never kept secrets.” His chest and throat felt tight. He felt like he was falling apart. “Mystogan kept the worst kind of secret and I don’t know which is worse.”

“Family is hard.”

“I don’t know what to do. I feel like I can’t trust Mystogan now and I need to trust him the most.”

Lisanna said nothing. She wrapped her arm around his shoulders and pressed her cheek into the top of his head. The sound of piano music wafted into the hallway. When Sofia was smaller, he’d been able to tell the difference between his father’s playing and her more clumsy attempts. Now, he realized, there wasn’t a difference at all.

Chapter Text

Siegrain crossed his arms over his chest defiantly. Jellal’s shoulders drooped with an appropriate level of guilt. Mystogan hadn’t glanced away from his phone the entire time. Anna huffed with frustration and Acnologia squinted at the three plastic ID cards on the table. He cleared his throat.

“I’m sorry, I -”

“They’re fake,” Anna said with mild annoyance. Acnologia made a sound in the back of his throat and peered at the cards closer.

“Well -”

“Is it really a crime if dad can’t tell?” Siegrain asked hopefully. Anna’s glare made him shift in his seat.

“It’s a crime period. You can’t buy beer at eighteen, Siegrain.”

“Yes, well,” Acnologia stood and stacked the cards before stuffing them away in his pocket. “Your mother’s right. Fake identification is illegal and you’re lucky we caught you and not the police. I’ll decide on your punishment later.”

Siegrain, Jellal, and Mystogan stood and prepared to file from the room. Anna huffed again and nudged Acnologia who blinked several times.

“Oh, right. Uh, no phones?” he said with a curious inflection, still taking his cues from Anna.

“No phones?” Mystogan asked, suddenly paying attention. He adjusted his glasses. “You can’t be serious! I have school stuff and I can’t be without my phone!”

“Yeah, and I’m working with Erza this summer at the city rescue. I’ll need it for shifts and emails,” Jellal added.

“And I’ve got…” all eyes turned to Siegrain. Everyone knew he didn’t really have anything. “Things,” he tacked on.

“Right, well, okay. I’ll get back with you,” Acnologia said with a shrug. Anna positively fumed and gaped. Siegrain ushered his brothers quickly from the room as his mother turned her disbelief on their father.

“You’ll get back to them?” she hissed once they were alone. “This deserves at least no phones.”

“They’re eighteen and everybody needs a phone, Anna.”

“You’re just as bad as they are.” She crossed her arms over her chest in a way Acnologia was sure he’d just seen on Siegrain.

“You’re overreacting. They didn’t actually get to use the cards and did you look at them?” Acnologia pulled the cards out of his pocket and held one under the lamp. “I almost couldn’t tell these weren’t real! The quality is top notch. I’m curious where they acquired these.”

“You’re joking right?” Anna said dryly. “Do any of the boys look almost thirty to you? And, anyway, Siegrain made them on his laptop and had them printed on plastic.”

“Wow,” Acnologia said under his breath. “The graphics are sharp. This isn’t at all what I’ve heard of other kids getting busted with.”

“So our son is a talented criminal?”

Acnologia shrugged. “He’ll find his way, I think.” He slid the cards back into his pocket and turned to leave the room.

“Where are you going with those?” Anna demanded. “You should cut them into pieces!”

“Should I? The quality is quite good. I want to have a look tomorrow on my office computer I have a scanner that’s not on the network, it’s fine.”

Anna stared incredulously. “It’s no wonder Siegrain is the way he is. You’re impressed by the quality of an illegal document instead of appalled he created it in the first place.”

Acnologia laughed and crossed the room to press a kiss to her forehead. “I’m allowed to be impressed with my son. Even when his actions are dubious in nature. We’ll keep it between us.”

She watched him go with equal parts irritation and amusement.

Chapter Text

Jellal pulled a t-shirt over his head and perched on the edge of the bed. He leaned over to grab his shoes and never made it back up into a sitting position. His elbows dug into his knees and the palms of his hands pressed against his eyes.

“Are you going out?” Erza asked from her side of the bed. It was long past dark and she was in her pajamas.

“I can’t let this go on,” he whispered. “I can’t let this distance fester into something ugly.” The bed shook and Erza settled next to him on the edge. Her arm slid around his shoulders and her thumb brushed against the back of his neck. “It hurts but Mystogan did what he thought was right. Siegrain is so, so angry. I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“You have a big heart, Jellal,” she whispered. “Be careful.”

“I have to get in the middle. I don’t want to but I have to. This isn’t like anything we’ve fought about before.”

“Do you think Sieg is ready to listen?”

“I think I don’t care.” Jellal muttered, finally returning to his shoes. “I think there’s not enough time for him to stew for months. Dad is refusing treatment so we can have time as a family, not so Siegrain can stew over something he doesn’t agree with.”

“I don’t disagree with you,” Erza said softly. “But please choose your words carefully with him.”

Jellal sighed and sat up straight. He turned to Erza who’s eyes were all things soft and comforting. “He gets either mean or completely dismissive when he’s hurting, I know.” She leaned over to kiss him and leaned back to brush the hair from his forehead.

“You need a haircut,” she said with a smile.

“Erza -”

“Yeah, yeah.” She stood and pulled him to his feet. “You love me, I know. Go fix your family.”

Jellal’s heart was bruised but when he backed out of his driveway, it was with a smile.

Lisanna answered the front door and grimaced.

“He’s with Sofia in the back room,” she said quietly. “She’s painting lilies and he’s staring at the ceiling.”

“Thanks,” Jellal said with a sigh. He stepped into the house that still smelled of their evening meal and tried to think about what he could say that wouldn’t come off as accusatory.

“Jellal?” Lisanna called after him.

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you’re here. He’s… well, he’s pretending this is fine.” She wrung her hands. “It’s not fine.”

“No,” he whispered. “It’s not.”

As Lisanna had said, Siegrain was on the floor of Sofia’s art room. His arms were folded behind his head and his legs were crossed at the ankles.

“Uncle J!” Sofia exclaimed. “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

“Ha, ha, Sofia. Very funny. When you get to be my age you can do what you want.”

“Did you bring Erza and the cousins?”

“No, they’re all at home in bed.”

Sofia emptied her cloudy glass jars in the sink that used to be part of a wet bar. She left her brushes bristle end up in another jar. Before leaving the room she bit her lip and glanced at her father who hadn’t moved from the floor.

“Goodnight,” she said quickly before fleeing and shutting the door behind her.

“So you’ve relegated yourself to the back room?” Jellal asked, sliding down the wall beside his brother.

“I like it in here.”

“This flooring is hard as fuck. I don’t know how you can stand it.”

“Maybe it helps me think.”

Jellal sighed and decided to just jump right in. “Will it help you think about what’s going on with dad and Mystogan? You can’t just lay on the floor and think about it forever.”

“When you get to be my age,” Siegrain parroted. “You can do what you want.”

“Don’t be like this.”

“Like what?” Siegrain demanded, sitting up suddenly. “Angry at Mystogan for fucking lying to us about dad dying? Blaming him for not making dad see fucking sense? Am I miss anything?”

“Yeah, you are,” Jellal said, his expression compressing into a scowl. “This isn’t Mystogan’s fault! He didn’t create this situation. He’s a doctor and he’s got to respect -”

“Dad’s shitty choices?” Siegrain bit out. “No! No he doesn’t! This isn’t one of his weirdo patients with a laundry list of weirdo symptoms, Jellal! It’s dad!”

Jellal bit his tongue until it hurt. He wanted to snap at his brother and lash right back but he couldn’t. He didn’t come to fight. He came to fix. “That isn’t how it works, Sieg,” Jellal said softly. “Mystogan did what dad asked him to do.”

“Well, I don’t have to like it,” Siegrain said petulantly. “He kept secrets from us! Us! We’ve never kept secrets!”

“I understand the anger but I really need you to stop and try to put yourself in Mystogan’s shoes.” He paused and glanced over at Siegrain who now stared at his hands instead of the ceiling. “Dad’s cancer is aggressive. He wasn’t ever going to be able to fix it. Treatments for this kind of thing are horrific and even if dad agreed to do them, he still wouldn’t make it,” he finished in a low whisper. “It fucking sucks but you blaming Mystogan won’t change anything.”

“It’ll make me feel better.”

“Will it? And is it fair to take that comfort at his expense?”

“Maybe I don’t care what’s fair.”

Jellal pursed his lips in frustration. “You do, Sieg. I know you care what’s fair.” He shook his head and decided to go low. “I know you were in love with Erza.” Siegrain studiously ignored his eyes.

“So?”

“You could’ve made things really shitty for us but you didn’t.”

“I don’t want to talk about this.”

“Tough shit. You kept it all to yourself for a really long ass time and I kept waiting for the blowback. I stayed with her even though I knew it hurt you.”

“Jellal,” Siegrain whispered. “She wasn’t ever going to be with me. There was no real reason for you to break up with her. It would’ve wrecked you both. You and Erza are like p - well, not peanut butter and jelly but whatever you put on your sandwiches with jelly.”

“Why’s this different?”

Siegrain picked at his socks. “It’s not,” he admitted. “It’s worse.”

“Sieg -”

“Not for me, for Mystogan.” When he looked up his eyes were a watery green. “I don’t know how to let it go, Jellal. This stuff is all shitty and new and I hate it. I hate that he sat on it for weeks. He looked like shit that night, do you remember? I hate that dad is refusing treatment and I hate that I can fucking understand why.”

Jellal inched closer to his brother until their shoulders touched. “Being an adult sucks.”

“Except for the better sex part, and the Sofia being out of diapers part.”

“That’s fair.”

“Will you take me over there?” Siegrain hadn’t specified a place but Jellal didn’t have to guess. The door to the art room cracked open and Siegrain’s sneakers were tossed on the floor by a hand that had nails painted the same bright green Sofia had taken to using.

“Yeah.” Jellal smiled and stood. “It looks like you can’t get out of it.”

Mystogan and Juvia’s rental wasn’t too far from Jellal and Erza’s house. In a way he was both appalled and completely unsurprised they hadn’t moved to a bigger place yet. First it had been not wanting to move while Juvia was in the last stages of her pregnancy - because Mystogan had lost track of lots of things during those months - and then it had been not wanting to bother with a move with new borns. Jellal suspected Juvia would push the red button soon and they’d be moved within weeks. She had a way of forcing a train onto the tracks.

Instead of knocking, Jellal sent Juvia a text message and she answered the door with a tired smile.

“The girls are sleeping. Thanks for not bothering with the bell.”

“We’ve all been there,” he said with a sympathetic grin. “Is he in the living room?”

“He is.” Juvia glanced up at Siegrain. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I know you don’t agree but this is tearing him up.”

“I’m sorry,” Siegrain said, not dropping his gaze. “I’ll fix it.”

“He doesn’t need to be fixed. Just reassured.” She finally smiled in they way Jellal was familiar with. “But I’m sure you creepy guys knew that.”

Siegrain laughed quietly and followed Jellal down the hallway. Mystogan stood in front of the piano with a glass of whiskey. When he turned his expression was cautiously relieved.

“I was a dick,” Siegrain said bluntly. “This isn’t your fault and I’m not mad at you. I’m mostly mad at dad.”

“And cancer,” Jellal said, elbowing Siegrain.

“Yeah, that.”

Mystogan set aside his glass and his shoulders fell. He crossed the room and stood in front of Siegrain. “You can be mad at me. I’m… mad at myself.”

“Don’t be. You’re not fucking god. You can’t magically heal things.”

“I tried,” he said in a softly broken tone. “I really did. I begged him to try different things.”

“And he told you to fuck off?” Siegrain asked.

“Well, in different words but yeah.”

In a surprising display of affection, Mystogan sucked in a breath and embraced Siegrain. All the tension in Jellal’s chest flew away. In an attempt at levity, Jellal draped his arms over his brothers’ shoulders and grinned.

“Aw, group hug!”

“Shut up, Jellal,” they both muttered.

Chapter Text

The phones arrived in identical boxes and Siegrain was the last to activate his. Mystogan was ever meticulous with his settings and went to great lengths to make sure he lost nothing in the change. Jellal had a complex system of cloud backups. Siegrain suspected this was because he had a treasure trove of nudes from Erza. His own system - if it could even be called that - was a haphazard sync with iCloud and his Google account. He turned the new phone on and hoped for the best.

Siegrain never utilized the high tech safety features available on his phones. Yes, he was aware of the fingerprint scanners and the retinal scanners on the iPhone but he just couldn’t be bothered to mess with any of it. He had nothing to hide anyway… and he’d lost total interest once he found out identical twins and triplets shared neither the same fingerprints or retinal scans. The iPhone X, however, had facial recognition. This was new. Interesting. According to twitter a set of identical twins managed to hack each other’s phones with the feature already despite the phone only being available for a handful of weeks. Siegrain figured it was worth a shot.

Predictably Jellal’s lock screen was a completely wholesome picture of Erza kissing his cheek. Siegrain rolled his eyes but pressed on. The work of navigating a feature he wasn’t familiar with would make the whole effort worth it. He figured he had about twenty minutes while Jellal showered. A wicked grin spread across Siegrain’s face when the phone unlocked. He quickly checked the obvious places: photos, iCloud, dropbox, google drive. Nothing. Not a single scandalous picture of Erza. Siegrain decided to go directly to the source.

He’d simply ask.

‘Hey, you.’ He tried to adopt Jellal’s sappy romantic tone from the long thread of texts.

‘Hey! How was practice?’ Her reply came right away.

‘Boring.’ Siegrain didn’t want to waste time chatting away about basketball. ‘I was thinking of you in the shower.’

‘Yeah? And how did that turn out?’

‘You could help me finish the job. What are you wearing?’

‘Something you’d like.’

‘I like you in everything… and nothing. Why don’t you show me the nothing?’ Siegrain glanced at Jellal’s open bedroom door and listened for the shower spray. He didn’t have much time.

‘That’s a bold request.’

‘Is it?’

‘You want to see me with nothing but my sheets?’

‘How about just nothing?’

‘Give me a sec.’

Siegrain’s lips curled into an excited grin. He bounced his foot impatiently. She was taking too long. When the photo finally popped up he sighed deeply and groaned. Erza was wrapped in her winter coat with a scarf covering half her face. She flipped him the bird and had scrawled Nice try over the image.

‘A guy can’t get away with nothin’’

‘How tragic.’

Siegrain set Jellal’s phone aside and slipped out of his brother’s bedroom before he could be caught red handed. He didn’t bother to delete the thread because Erza would no doubt tell him what happened anyway.

Erza slid the pastry box across the picnic table in the school courtyard and smiled sweetly at him. Siegrain glanced around curiously before opening the box. Inside was a perfectly frosted cupcake dusted with edible glitter and a Happy Birthday! topper.

“Uh, thanks,” he muttered, dipping his finger into the swirl of icing.

“You’re welcome!” Erza’s smile was sweeter than the icing and Siegrain’s stomach flipped over uncomfortably. “I just wanted to make sure you had a personal birthday gift from me before this weekend.”

Siegrain wiped his finger on a tissue from his backpack and closed the box. “Uh, listen. About the texts -”

Erza laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I don’t hold a grudge.” She stood and smoothed her skirt. Before turning to go she leaned over the table. Her smile was now the picture of vicious cunning. Siegrain hadn’t ever seen her look more like her mother. “By the way, Jellal never asks me for nudes. He doesn’t have to. I make sure he’s got plenty of finishing material.”

Siegrain made an inhuman noise in the back of his throat. He wasn’t sure if he was terrified of her in that moment or…

“Enjoy your cupcake,” Erza chirped, suddenly returning to the charming grin she’d had only seconds before.

Siegrain did not enjoy the cupcake.

Chapter Text

“Are you in for cards later?” Jellal directed his question at Mystogan who had his eyes trained on Juvia. She sat in a reclining deck chair in between Anna and Lisanna. She had a laptop balanced on her belly that wasn’t nearly as large as it would be before the twins were born. Siegrain had no idea what they were shopping for but he could guess. There was a completely empty bedroom in his house Lisanna had her eye on. They’d been tiptoeing around the idea of leaving her birth control in the dust but no decisions had been made.

“Mystogan,” Jellal said in a sharper tone. He poked his brother in the arm and earned himself a glare.

“What?”

“Cards,” Jellal deadpanned. “Are you playing with us or not?”

“I suppose that depends on how much you want to lose today.”

“One of these days your arrogance will lead to my crowning victory,” Jellal said haughtily. Siegrain snorted into his cup. He still had his eye on Lisanna who excused herself and went inside for another drink. Anna and Juvia made their way slowly around the pool, arms linked. The April breeze fluttered the long wisps of fabric that made up Juvia’s sun dress. As they approached, Mystogan’s attention scattered. He smiled at her in the most disgusting way.

Anna’s face twisted into mild horror. “Mystogan, why is there a slice of bread in your pocket?”

Siegrain quirked an eyebrow as Mystogan’s hand rose to the breast pocket of his shirt. He seemed both surprised and nonplussed to find the bread there.

“Mother, please,” he said in the tone he took when he especially wanted to annoy Anna. “No personal questions.”

“You’re completely right,” Anna drawled. “How rude of me.” She turned back to Juvia who pursed her lips and reached for the breadstick.

“We talked about this,” Juvia muttered. “Snacks aren’t for pockets. Shake that out, please.” She took Anna’s arm again and together they strolled toward the shade. Siegrain could not control his laughter.

“You talked about this?” he snickered. “You had a whole entire discussion about perishable snacks in your pockets?”

Mystogan managed to look affronted. “It’s a bad habit.”

“So bad that she had to remind you not to keep bread in your pocket?” Jellal quipped.

“I bet he’s got a mommy kink,” Siegrain added poking Jellal in the shoulder. “She clearly has to babysit him.”

“Well,” Jellal said with a considering expression. “She does call him daddy in Spanish.”

“It’s kinkception,” Siegrain said, chortling.

“You two are the actual children,” Mystogan said dryly. “I’m going to find some smart people to talk to.” He spun on his heel and wandered off.

“I bet she finds half melted Jolly Ranchers in his pockets,” Jellal laughed, clearly enjoying not being on the receiving end of the joke for once.

As the sun set and the evening colors reflected off the pool, Mystogan eventually found his way back to his brothers. Siegrain found his stride just a little too casual and he recognized the ever so slight twitch of Mystogan’s grin.

“So, Jellal,” Mystogan asked. “Does Erza call you daddy?”

Jellal nearly choked on his soda. “Does she what now?”

“I’m just curious.” Mysrogan shrugged and Siegrain watched his face carefully. He thought maybe he understood where this was going and almost felt pity for Jellal. Almost. “Does she?”

“No!”

Mystogan grimaced and nodded somberly. “So you don’t have it, then?”

“I… don’t have what?” Jellal glanced at Siegrain who shrugged in an over exaggerated way.

“Well, Sieg and I have it. But not you?”

Jellal scowled. “What are you talking about?”

“As you so studiously pointed out, Juvia calls me by a pet name. Sherry called Sieg, daddy once and he’s admitted on more than one occasion that he didn’t hate it.” Mystogan’s smile turned sharp. “So does Erza call you daddy or not?”

“Or do you call her mommy?” Siegrain piped up.

“What?” Jellal breathed, taking a step back.

“That’s a shame,” Mystogan said, shaking his head. “I thought you’d be in the club by now.”

“This is a stupid club!” Jellal hissed. “We’re thirty-one. You can’t keep making up secret clubs!”

“Don’t worry, Jellal,” Siegrain said with a sympathetic grin and clap on the back. “I’m sure you’ll get it one day.”

“I can’t believe you two.” Jellal crushed his soda can and turned to leave their huddle.

“Where are you going?” Mystogan asked - just like he always asked but never actually had to.

“To find Erza,” he snapped back.

“That was good,” Siegrain muttered into his cup.

“Yeah, I thought so,” Mystogan replied. “Ready for cards?”

“Always.”

Chapter Text

Siegrain carefully sliced the apples into slivers and then wedged the knife to cut off the core of each sliver. Sofia never felt one way or another about the skin so he didn’t bother to peel it.

“What’s that?” Sofia asked in her most curiously excited voice. Siegrain heard Mystogan laugh.

“It’s a tortoise.”

“Is that like a turtle?”

“It’s a kind of turtle, yes. This one is a leopard tortoise from Africa.”

Siegrain arranged the apple slices on the plate and, with a resigned sigh, reached for the jar of sun butter. Anna hadn’t ever allowed peanut butter in their home. He hoped Sofia wouldn’t notice the difference.

“I like its shell. What’s he eat?”

“The leopard tortoise mostly lives on grass and succulents.”

“What’s a succulent?”

“It’s a plant.”

“I want a succulent!” Sofia sounded out the word slowly.

“We’ll see,” Mystogan said. Siegrain turned around and carted the plate of apples to the table. “Did you know me and your dad and your Uncle Jellal had a tortoise once?”

“No.” Siegrain said, pursing his lips.

“Did you really?” Sofia breathed, her eyes widening. “Daddy, did you really have a turtle?”

“Well -”

“Her name was Lauren,” Mystogan interrupted. “She was an alligator snapping turtle.”

“An alligator snapping turtle?” Sofia’s expression was wide with wonder. “I want an alligator snapping turtle!”

“And last week you wanted a giraffe,” Siegrain said, pushing the plate of apples toward her.

“A giraffe is hardly the same as a turtle, Sieg,” Mystogn said with false seriousness. His eye had a twinkle Siegrain didn’t like.

“She can’t have an alligator snapping turtle. Lauren was…”

Sofia stared at him with her mouth full of apples and sun butter. Mystogan waited with a subdued but eager expression.

“Well, Lauren was not the kind of pet we can have in the condo.”

“Can we move back to Abuelito and Gran’s then?”

“No, we can’t do that.” Siegrain stuffed his hands in his pockets and tried to glare at Msytogan without betraying his annoyance to Sofia.

“Don’t you have a birthday coming up?” Mystogan asked, turning back to his laptop.

“I sure do! It’s the big five!”

“Maybe your dad will come around by then, eh?” Mystogan glanced up at him and grinned sharply. Siegrain didn’t care for it at all.

Siegrain watched Sofia splashing in the pool with his mother, Jenny, and three of her friends from school. He’d wanted a more elaborate birthday party but Jenny insisted setting a precedent like that would be dangerous. Getting her to agree to a party at his parents’ house had been enough of a hardship. He didn’t want to push the envelope. Mystogan appeared by his side with a stack of the sugar free cookies he always kept in their parents’ pantry.

“Looks like a good time,” he muttered.

“She’ll be exhausted in a few hours. Not even the cake can perk her up. Everybody wins.” Siegrain felt his own exhaustion creeping. A morning at the zoo, and now an afternoon in the pool. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been on Sofia’s energy level.

“Hopefully she’ll have some juice left for my gift.”

Siegrain turned sharply toward Mystogan. “What gift?” he demanded.

“Just a token of my affection for my favorite niece,” Mystogan said lightly. Siegrain seethed. He appreciated Mystogan’s quick thinking when it had to do with teasing Jellal and pulling one over on their parents, but he didn’t like it so much when his older brother turned that skill on him.

“She’s your only niece,” Siegrain bit out. “What did you get her?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Mystogan shrugged. “She’ll love it.”

“You better not be trying to give my daughter one of your weird ass pets.”

“But you loved Lauren!” Mystogan protested with a completely unconcealed grin.

“Lauren was a dangerous animal and if mom and dad had known exactly what she was -”

“What about Janice?” Mystogan added. “Even mom loved Janice.”

“Janice was a hairless cat who did nothing but laze on the couch all day. Of course mom loved her!”

“Don’t forget Steve and David.”

“Your gerbils that were so stupid they ate their plastic food dish instead of the food?”

“I think you just don’t want Sofia to experience the joy of having a pet.,” Mystogan said matter of factly.

“You -”

“Relax. She’ll love it.” Mystogan left him in the kitchen stewing in his own frustrated juices.

When the time came for Sofia’s friends to go home, Mystogan finally spoke up. Siegrain’s grip on his soda can was so tight he knew he was denting it. Jellal quirked an eyebrow and nudged him in the side.

“What’s your problem?”

“Nothing,” Siegrain hissed.

“You’ve got one last present, Sofia,” Mystogan announced, disappearing into the garage. When he returned he was carefully holding a large, wrapped box. Even standing on a kitchen chair, Sofia’s head didn’t quite peek over the top of the box. Jenny’s eyes flit from Siegrain to Mystogan. Siegrain’s anxiety and irritation threatened to bubble over. “Go on,” Mystogan urged. “Open it.”

Sofia tore at the bright paper revealing a cardboard box with a row of holes cut into the top.

“Are those… holes?” Erza asked, grasping Jellal’s arm. Siegrain glanced at Mystogan again and scowled. “Like breathing holes?”

Before Jenny could react, Sofia popped the box open and squealed.

“You got me a turtle!” she exclaimed. “It’s exactly what I wanted!” Sofia lunged at Mystogan who caught her almost in mid air. Her foot knocked the box and it tumbled over the edge of the table. An enormous stuffed turtle came rolling out. Siegrain didn’t bother to contain his relief. He fell into the chair opposite Sofia’s and sighed deeply.

One day Mystogan would pay for scaring the shit out of him with a giant turtle plushie.

Chapter Text

His phone had gone off three separate times with text messages before the call came through. Siegrain sighed irritably and tapped the screen.

“What?”

“I’m calling to ask you that,” Mystogan snapped. “What are these videos?”

“What videos are you referring to?” Siegrain’s eyes scanned the document in front of him. He wanted to be asleep. He should be asleep.

“All these videos of goop on your Instagram. What is this? It looks like congealed school glue and borax.”

“Well, actually,” Siegrain said smugly. “It’s liquid starch. We found the borax slime to be a little too stiff.”

“We?”

“Sofia and I.”

Mystogan was silent for a long moment and Siegrain almost forgot he was on the line.

“If your borax slime is too stiff, you’ve formulated it wrong.”

“Sofia likes the starch kind.”

“Only because she’s never had the right mixture of borax. You really should let me handle these things, Sieg. I know they say science is for everyone but it’s really not.”

“You’re such a snob,” Siegrain muttered, scowling at his laptop screen. “Anyway, I answered your question. Are we done?”

Mystogan ended the call without another word.

Sofia flung herself over the back of the couch and thrust his phone right in front of his face.

“Glitter!” she squealed excitedly. Siegrain took the phone and felt his face twist into a frown. The video, even without the sound, was dripping in know-it-all smugness. He hated the glitter, he hated the bright pink polyurethane beads, and he especially hated that the slime was absolutely perfect in texture. “I want it!”

“We can do better than this, Sofia,” Siegrain promised.

“With glitter?”

He hesitated but only briefly. The condo was his and neither his mom nor Jenny could tell him no glitter.

“Absolutely with glitter.”

“And beads?”

“Yep.” Sofia squealed directly into his ear before flopping over the back of the couch once more. “Goddamn you, Mystogan, and your fucking fancy-ass slime,” he whispered.

What started out as a way to entertain his daughter on a week of rainy days, mutated into a full on rivalry between Siegrain and Mystogan. His Instagram page was now mostly videos of Sofia digging her hands into tubs of slime with a top layer of beads, charms, daiso clay, or glitter. It wasn’t until Mystogan shipped her an entire box of carefully crafted containers of specialty slimes – complete with professional looking labels – that Siegrain got frustrated.

He waited until Sofia was with Jenny to confront his brother. Siegrain packed up the box of slimes in their cute little bottles and carted them over to his parents’ house.

“Stop sending my daughter these things,” he said placing the box directly in front of Mystogan.

“Why? She loves them.”

“She hates them.”

“Oh? Then why do I get videos from her iPad sent to me at least three times a week squealing over them?”

“Because she’s a toddler!” Siegrain fell into the chair opposite Mystogan and earned a glare from Anna.

“Don’t be rough with my new chairs, Siegrain. I want to finally have one nice thing now that all the children are out of my house.”

“They’re just chairs, mom,” Siegrain said sheepishly.

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry,” he muttered. “Anyway, Jenny hates the slime and it’s got to stop.”

“So Jenny dictates what happens at your condo now?” Mystogan asked, pushing aside the box and returning his attention to his phone.

“No! Of course not!”

“Then what is the truth, Siegrain? Are you jealous that my slimes are better than yours?”

“No!” Siegrain huffed. “How did you get these nice labels anyway? I’ve been meaning to ask.”

Mystogan shrugged. “There’s a resident I know who’s into crafting. She printed me up a bunch of them.”

“How nice of her,” Siegrain deadpanned. “Very selfless.”

“I never said she got nothing in return.”

Siegrain sneered and opened his mouth to reply but the door that led into the garage suddenly swung open. Jellal strode around the corner with Erza in tow. She immediately scowled at them both. Siegrain cringed.

“I need to speak with the two of you,” she said firmly.

“Oh, hey!” Jellal exclaimed, approaching the table and pulling two of the slime bottles from the box. “I love these!”

“Those are for Sofia!” Siegrain whined.

“I thought you were trying to get rid of them?” Mystogan asked snidely.

“Can I have them?” Jellal asked.

“No!” Siegrain and Erza both said.

“Wait,” Siegrain paused and stood – earning another glare from Anna when the legs of his chair scraped across the floor tiles. “Why can’t Jellal have slime bottles?”

“Are you kidding?” Erza hissed. “He’s obsessed with whatever weird romance the two of you have with Sofia’s slime. The other night he smoked a whole joint by himself on the couch and watched your stupid videos for an hour.”

Siegrain burst into laugher but immediately choked and cut himself off when Erza pierced him with a look.

“Sorry.”

“No more slime. Block him from your Instagram, get Sofia a new hobby, I don’t care. Make it stop. You’re ruining my boyfriend.”

“Fiancé,” Jellal muttered absently, poking his finger into one of the bottles.

“Whatever.” Erza spun around and took the cocktail Anna offered and followed her outside.

“This is so cool,” Jellal whispered. Mystogan laughed and Siegrain made a face.

“Stop poking Sofia’s slime.” Siegrain snatched the box off the table and held it close to his chest.

“Want it back?”

“Gross, no. It’s ruined now.”

“I’ve got another box of clear glitter slime with little gummy bear charms in my trunk,” Mystogan said, finally setting aside his phone.

“Yeah, whatever,” Siegrain muttered.

Several months later, after Sofia had lost interest in the slime craze, Anna and Acnologia invited everyone – including Erza’s mother – to their house in celebration of their newly completed deck. Erza and Jellal were the last to arrive and Jellal disappeared quickly into the yard but Erza shoved a box into Siegrain’s chest.

“What’s this?” he asked, trying to hide the jab to his ribs.

“Don’t act like you don’t fucking know, Sieg. I told you to lay off the slime! And now you send this… this entire case to him?”

“What? I didn’t –”

“I don’t want to hear it,” she snapped. Erza sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly before composing herself and following Jellal out into the yard.

“But I didn’t –”

“I did,” Mystogan said from behind him.

“You did this? Erza is furious because she thinks it’s me!”

Mystogan shrugged. “What else was I supposed to do with it? Sofia doesn’t care anymore and I’m not about to be the boring uncle who sends her cases of outdated fads.”

“But what am I supposed to do with this crap now?”

“Not my problem.”

Chapter Text

            “No,” Jellal said firmly. “I want nothing to do with this and it’s a waste of my allowance money.”

            “You’re really missing out, Jellal,” Mystogan offered, not looking away from his laptop.

            “He’s just a chicken,” Siegrain muttered absently. “I think with this password generator app we can make four digit combinations super easy.”

            “They all need to be unique.”

            “They’re just going to cut everything off anyway,” Jellal interrupted. “Nobody will care about all your little details.”

            “I care,” Siegrain pronounced.

            “There’s no sense in doing anything half-assed,” Mystogan agreed. “If you aren’t going to do something right, why bother doing it at all? Go hard or go home, right?”

            “Those!” Siegrain said suddenly, pointing at the screen. “Oh, look! They come in bundles of twelve!” He was practically vibrating in his seat.

            “Perfect. You think two will do it?”

            “I think twenty-four is more than enough for every bike on the racks.”

            “This is stupid!” Jellal insisted. “Siegrain, really? Twenty-four? On any given day there’s never more than maybe ten bikes outside the school!”

            Mystogan sighed. Siegrain turned in his chair with a haughty expression.

            “You’re thinking too small, little brother.”

            “What?”

            “Maybe there’s only ten on a good day outside our school but the high school has at least fifteen.”

            Jellal’s mouth fell open. “You can’t be serious!”

            “I’m never less than one hundred percent serious.”

            “Mystogan, why are you going along with this?”

            “Because,” Mystogan said, finalizing the Amazon order and spinning around in his own chair. “My school is boring. Nothing exciting ever happens.”

            “So you’ve turned to a life of crime?” Jellal asked, bewildered. Mystogan shrugged.

            “This is your last chance to get in on this, Jellal,” Siegrain said. “After today you can’t take any credit.”

            “Credit?” Jellal sputtered. “More like I’m dodging your collateral damage. You’re going to get suspended for sure and I already know the only reason you want me to help is because you think mom will go easy on punishments if I’m involved.”

            “You’re her favorite,” Mystogan deadpanned. “We won’t deny the thought has crossed our minds.”

            “Well you can forget it!” Jellal snapped. “Unlike you two delinquents I have a date this weekend with an actual girl and I’d like to be not grounded.”

            Siegrain snorted derisively. “It’s not like anything good will happen, Jellal. You move at glacial speed.”

            “Excuse me?” Jellal’s face turned a bright red. “I have my own dignity, Sieg! I’m not trying to get busted in the pool house with that girl down the street like you did this summer! Do you even know her name?”

            “Maryanne?” Siegrain said questioningly as his head tilted to the side.

            “Marisol,” Mystogan corrected.

            “Right. Marisol. See? I know her name.”

            “Both of you are gross.” Jellal stood and left them alone in front of Mystogan’s laptop.

            “Was it really Marisol?” Siegrain asked, scrunching up his face. “I thought for sure it was Maryanne.”

            “It’s Marisol.” Mystogan had already turned back to the computer and opened bunch of complex spreadsheets that gave Siegrain a headache.

            “Huh. The more you know, I guess.”

            Anna’s glare was so sharp not even Mystogan could completely shrug it off. He’d said nothing since they’d both been dragged into the principal’s office. Outside the school, the fire department was still clipping the locks off the row of bicycles.

            “What do you have to say for yourselves?” the principal demanded. Her expression was stern but not nearly as deadly as the one their mother wore. “Siegrain? Jellal?”

            “Mystogan,” he corrected, poking his glasses higher on his nose. “I’m Mystogan. Not Jellal.”

            “Would you believe that we’re just misguided youths acting out against the patriarchy?” Siegrain offered.

            “What?” The principal’s question was halting and nearly fumbled. “The patriarchy? What?”

            “Last year the fire department failed six applicants out of the academy. Two were women! My brother and I were so deeply offended on behalf of the female population that we decided civil disobedience in the form of wasting the fire department’s time was the only course of action.”

            Anna’s sigh was long and tired. Mystogan said nothing and for an oh-so-brief moment Siegrain thought the principal was moved. He opened his mouth to deliver the cherry on the cake but the principal held up a silencing hand.

            “I think that’s enough out of you, Mister Fernandes.” She turned to Anna. “To be quite honest, I’m not sure what’s appropriate discipline here. If suspension was Siegrain’s goal I’d rather not give him what he wants. What are your thoughts?”

            “I’m so sorry,” Anna gushed. “I don’t know – I mean, I can’t even begin…” she trailed off and Siegrain could feel her rage. “If it’s all the same to you, I can give you my word their father and I will handle this appropriately. I agree suspension might not be the best course of action.”

            “I’ll leave you to it, then.” The principal turned back to Siegrain. “I do think I’ll impose a sanction on your social time, Mister Fernandes. I think maybe you need some personal attention. From tomorrow on you’ll be having lunch and study period with me. Lucky for you I’ve donated my time to the elementary school’s garden club. I hope you enjoy the great outdoors. You’re going to be spending quite a lot of time there.”

            Anna ushered them both from the principal’s office. Mystogan remained unaffected but Siegrain moped. Garden club? His hands would smell like compost! Unacceptable! He said nothing, though, and followed behind his mother and brother. As horrible as the principal’s punishment was, nothing would compare to Anna’s rage. He avoided her eyes.

            Outside the school Jellal was chatting with a girl in their grade. She was still in her cheerleading uniform and a pink bow brought out the shine in her platinum blonde hair. Siegrain wasn’t great with names but he recognized Yukino Agria because her sister hated him. Jellal’s face was as pink as her bow. Ridiculous. Siegrain felt like gagging.

            “Come on, Jellal,” Anna clipped as she marched passed them. Jellal said something to Yukino that Siegrain didn’t catch before falling in line at the rear.

            “What happened?” Jellal whispered.

            “Siegrain’s about to learn the virtues of toiling in the earth,” Mystogan said almost cheerily. “I’m so glad I don’t go to this school.”

            “I don’t know why you think you’re beyond punishment, Mystogan,” Anna said on the edge of too loud over her shoulder. “Just wait until we get home.”

            Siegrain, in a moment of bravery – or perhaps just stupidity – opened his mouth. “I don’t see what the big deal is, mom, it’s not like we stole anything.”

            “No more talking.”

            “He said that?” Acnologia asked with utter disbelief.

            “Yes. I want you to handle it because I simply cannot. I swear to god, I will consume all three of them back into my body if I have to think about it for one more second.”

            “I don’t think Jellal, at least, deserves to be eaten.” He smiled at her but quickly disappeared into the closet when she didn’t return the humor.

            “And you know what else?” she demanded, her frustration boiling over. “He’s right! It’s not stealing! Is it actually illegal to put a lock on someone else’s bike? I don’t even know!”

            “Well, I’m sure it’s not legal, Anna. He’s just trying to talk his way out of a jam.”

            “I will never understand where he gets that smartass mouth of his.”

            Acnologia’s laugh from inside the closet was low and thick. “No? I seem to remember a girl with hair a lot like yours squaring off with her parents more than once.”

            Anna huffed and slid between the blankets. When Acnologia finally joined her in bed he kissed her shoulder and tried to pull her against him.

            “I’ll handle it.”

            “Punish, them. Make this stop,” she whispered, trying to not let the scent of his soap erase her frustration.

            “I promise I’ll handle it.”

            Much later when Anna was more relaxed and on the brink of sleep, her phone chimed with an email.

            “Sorry,” she whispered. “I thought I had that on silent.” She reached over to the side table to switch off the phone but the email preview startled her. Anna sat straight up in bed. “Oh, no!”

            “What is it?” Acnologia’s arm snaked possessively around her waist.

            “Siegrain just tried to order a bunch of those orange traffic cones off Amazon! I need to cancel this immediately!”

            “Maybe it’s for a project?”

            Anna gazed down at him with a kind of horrified incredulity.

            “Yeah, okay,” he muttered. “It’s not a project. Cancel the order and come back to me. I’ll handle Siegrain tomorrow.”

Chapter Text

            Siegrain squinted at his computer screen in disbelief.

            “What the fuck,” he whispered.

            “Hey, we’re heading out now!” Lisanna’s voice cut through his irritation. “Sieg?”

            “Huh?” His eyes still scanned the page.

            “Dad.” Finally Sofia jolted him. He spun around in his chair to find both his wife and his daughter dressed and ready to walk out the door.

            “What’s going on?”

            “It’s Saturday…” Sofia said slowly. “We’re going to the installation of those banners in the park, remember?”

            “Banners?”

            “The Pathway to Spring?” Lisanna offered.

            “I’m sorry, I’m completely lost.”

            Sofia rolled her eyes and waved at him before leaving the small studio. Lisanna crossed the room and touched his forehead.

            “Hm, you don’t feel sick.”

            “I’m not sick.” Siegrain couldn’t stop himself from grinning ridiculously. “Just distracted.”

            “What’s on your mind?” She leaned down to peer at his computer screen. “Is this a mommy blog? Siegrain do you have something to tell me?” Lisanna asked playfully. “Are you pregnant?”

            “No!” He spun around in his chair and scrolled to the bottom of the page. “Well, I mean, it is a mommy blog but it’s Mystogan’s mommy blog.”

            “Why does your brother have a mommy blog?”

            “Because he’s a jealous jackass who wishes he was as clever as me,” Siegrain muttered, standing. “Do I have time to dress or are you going without me?”

            “You’ve got enough time. Just hurry. Sofia is really excited.”

            Siegrain dressed and brushed his teeth quickly. He tried his best to forget about Mystogan’s blog but couldn’t quite manage.

            Siegrain picked at his potato salad and glared at Mystogan, who was across the table just glowing. Juvia seemed oblivious and chattered on and on with Acnologia about the ins and outs of obstetrics. Anna was thoroughly distracted by the twins and Jellal’s youngest – who was a miniature version of Erza. Dinners like these were becoming more and more frequent as Acnologia’s health deteriorated. The subject of his cancer was an ever-present elephant in the corner.

            “I can feel your jealousy from here, Sieg,” Mystogan said offhandedly. “Want to talk about it?”

            “No.”

            “Why’s he jealous?” Jellal asked.

            “I’m not jealous,” Siegrain snapped. “You’re probably cheating anyway.”

            “I can’t help it if my posts are more engaging and relatable than yours. There’s only so many pitying mothers out there trying to help a guy they believe is clueless. I, on the other hand offer actual insight and information. Plus, my girls are adorable.”

            “Nobody cares about your opinions on soy versus dairy formula, Mystogan. They come for the cute pictures of the girls.” Siegrain’s grip on his fork was painful.

            “Stop it, you two,” Anna cut in. “No fighting at the dinner table.”

            Sofia snickered and Lisanna winked at Siegrain. He loosened his grip on the fork but couldn’t quell his annoyance with Mystogan’s smug grin.

            “I offer a scientific break down of each type,” Mystogan went on. “Given all the outrageous rumors surrounding soy products recently, my commentary is invaluable.”

            “I can’t imagine anyone actually slogging through your walls of text.”

            “My IP trackers says you did exactly that last week,” Mystogan clapped back.

            “Oh, my god,” Erza whined, polishing off her beer bottle. “I can’t believe it’s been a decade and you two are still arguing about your stupid mommy blogs! Who cares?” Erza wasn’t much of a drinker but since she’d given up breastfeeding for the last time, her thirst for booze had taken an uptick.

            “Okay, I need someone to tell me about this blog stuff,” Lisanna said, turning to Erza.

            “After Sofia was born Sieg made this blog. It was your typical clueless dad blog. He had scads of women leaping to offer him advice and help. Of course, Sofia was adorable so they just kept lining up.” She leaned forward and pulled another beer from the ice bucket. Jellal offered to open it but she shrugged him off. “Anyway this went on for a full year and a half. It was ridiculous. His traffic was absolutely insane and he even made it into some HuffPo listicle.”

            “Wow, really?” Lisanna seemed enthralled but Siegrain couldn’t stop glaring at his brother.

            “Yeah, as you might imagine his ego took a steep climb.”

            “Siegrain?” she gasped. “An ego? I don’t believe it.” Siegrain felt his face warm.

            “Jenny said it was stupid but didn’t care too much since he was doing most of the heavy lifting. The blog was a total scam for attention because he had more than enough help.”

            “My blog has twice the traffic, though,” Mystogan cut in.

            “Your blog is like those awful recipe blogs where I have to read a five hundred word monologue about Susan’s trip to a farmer’s market with her grandpa’s next door neighbor before I ever get to the cake recipe.”

            “Jealousy isn’t a good look for you, Sieg.”

            “Is your blog still up?” Lisanna asked.

            “No,” he muttered. “Sofia made me delete it when she started school.”

            “I don’t want anyone to see my diaper pics!” Sofia interjected before turning back to Acnologia and Juvia.

            “I’m just glad I can help these women out,” Mystogan said loftily. “It’s a public service. I have a post about breastfeeding scheduled for this next week.”

            “A what?” Juvia suddenly asked. Siegrain glanced down the table to find that both Acnologia and Sofia had taken a sudden interest in the conversation.

            “Uh –” Mystogan poked at his glasses and squirmed under Juvia’s gaze. “I wrote an article about the trials of breastfeeding. It’ll go up next week.”

            Juvia laughed but the tension at the table didn’t lessen at all. Erza watched with pie-eyed fascination. Jellal looked like he wanted to crawl under the table.

            “That’s funny,” she said with an expression that was decidedly not humorous.

            The conversation eased into the art installation at the park that Sofia and Lisanna had been so excited to see. But Siegrain couldn’t stop himself from smirking at Mystogan more than once.

            Lisanna’s hair was longer than he’d ever seen it. The feathery tips of platinum brushed the bottom curve of her shoulder blades. When she came to bed smelling of honeysuckle body wash, he smiled.

            “I think I’m going to cut my hair again.”

            “You should do whatever you want.”

            “Sieg,” she began softly, touching the dove tattoo on his chest. “Remember when we got married and we talked about pregnancy and all that?”

            “I remember.”

            Lisanna cleared her throat and inched closer. “I know we’ve got some boxes in that extra room down the hall but I’m thinking maybe we should find a new place for them.”

            “Why?” The question was stupid because he knew why. They hadn’t discussed it much since the wedding but the empty room served as a placeholder.

            “Because I think we might need it in eight months.” Siegrain’s mouth fell open and he stared at her. Lisanna bit her lip and shifted uncomfortably. “Are you mad? I know we haven’t laid out any plans and I only missed one day of pills –”

            “I’m not mad,” he whispered, pressing her hand against his chest. “I’m elated.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “You ask me all the time if I’m sure,” Siegrain said, kissing her forehead. “I’m sure. Are you really pregnant?”

            “I should go in for a blood test but I’m pretty confident.”

            Something in Siegrain’s chest burst open and he couldn’t quite understand how he’d managed to wind up so lucky in life. The warm glow of happiness lasted all of three seconds.

            “This means I can crush Mystogan’s mommy blog,” he whispered into Lisanna’s hair. “There’s no way his girls will be cuter than a baby we make.”

            “You’re lucky I love you, Sieg,” Lisanna said, rolling away from him to pull on the lamp cord. The room fell dark. “And anyway, Juvia made him delete it. I believe the words she used were, fucking stupid.”

            “Yeah well –”

            “No more mommy blogs,” she cut him off. “Don’t make me ground you from the internet.”

            “You’re gonna be a great mom,” Siegrain whispered against her neck.

Chapter Text

            An identical pair of girls tore through the house and directly into Acnologia’s lap. They’d been mobile for only a few months but their speed and agility was astonishing. Mystogan kicked the door shut behind him and trudged through the house. He dumped their diaper bags and food in a heap near the kitchen table before falling into a chair and swiping Siegrain’s beer bottle.

            “I wasn’t going to finish that or anything. Help yourself, please.” He pursed his lips as Mystogan emptied the bottle and sighed. His head fell forward onto his folded arms. “You’re dramatic today.”

            “You don’t understand,” he whined. “My children are slowly killing me. They’ve been up since sunrise and I’m ready for bed.”

            “It’s noon,” Siegrain muttered.

            “I said what I said,” Mystogan snapped.

            “Where’s your wife?”

            “Working. She took a forty-eight hour shift so we can…” Mystogan trailed off and Siegrain glanced up. He didn’t need his brother to finish the sentence. “Just so we can be prepared for time off… you know.”

            “Right.” Siegrain tried to focus on his laptop screen. He’d been telecommuting more often than not lately and from his parents’ kitchen. Acnologia didn’t want it brought up but they all knew what was coming.

            “Anyway, I’m so fucking beat. Kids are wild, did you know that?”

            “I’m aware,” Siegrain said haughtily. “Sofia was a perfect angel, though. So I have no first hand experience.”

            Mystogan scowled. “I hope your new baby is a nightmare.”

            “Impossible. Lisanna and I have flawless genetic material. We would never produce a hellion.”

            The sound of the garage door slowly opening interrupted the conversation. Jellal burst through the door and started stacking cases of bottled water and soda on the counter.

            “Where’s mom?” he asked, pulling a knife from a drawer and carefully slicing through the plastic wrap.

            “She’s with dad in the front room,” Siegrain muttered, trying to focus on his work.

            “What’s with Mystogan?”

            “I’m exhausted,” Mystogan said, the table muffling his voice.

            “Juvia working extra shifts again?” Jellal began to transfer the water bottles to the refrigerator.

            “Yeah.” Mystogan sat up straight and ran his hands over his face. “She’ll have enough PTO by the end of the month to take as much time off as she wants.”

            “Erza’s got seniority at the clinic now. I’m so glad she’s not working those overnights in the emergency room anymore. You would not believe how many people have a pet emergency in the middle of the night.”

            “Lady Poof got into a bag of Sofia’s Halloween candy once,” Siegrain said offhandedly. “She just barfed a lot but I almost brought her in.”

            “People are nuts about their pets.”

            “Can you imagine if we’d ever had a Lauren related emergency?” Mystogan asked, stretching his arms up and folding his hands behind his head. “The look on a vet’s face would’ve been priceless.”

            Jellal snorted and Siegrain smirked.

            “You’re assuming mom and dad would’ve let her anywhere near the car,” he said, glancing up.

            “I think we could’ve convinced mom,” Mystogan said. “Or at the very least convinced dad to believe lifting her into the back of the van was a reasonable thing to attempt.”

            A squeal from the front room pierced the air.

            “I don’t know how dad stands that at point blank range,” Mystogan said, glancing down the hallway behind him. “It’s deafening.”

            Ten whole seconds of silence ticked by as his face crumpled. Acnologia cherished every shriek of delight. The elephant in the corner of the room shifted its weight and they all felt it.

            “Sometimes –” Mystogan was cut off by Anna sweeping into the room.

            “Oh, thank you, sweetie,” she said to Jellal. “I’ve been meaning to get to the store but –”

            “It’s not a problem, mom,” he said quickly. “I don’t mind. I can set you up a delivery service for stuff like this if you want.”

            “That’s sweet of you, Jellal.” Anna turned toward the table. “Your girls wearing you out, Mystogan?” Her grin was bordering savage.

            “Yes,” he said in a pathetic tone. “I’m so tired! I don’t understand! Why do they have all that energy? How? It makes no sense!”

            “I can’t possibly imagine what that’s like!” Anna covered her mouth in faux shock. “What a mystery!”

            Siegrain chuckled but didn’t glance up from his laptop.

            “Juvia dresses them in identical clothes every single day! She just magically knows which is which! Sometimes I can’t tell the difference and I think the girls know it. It’s like they can smell my fear.”

            “Weird!” Anna exclaimed. When Mystogan’s face fell and his shoulders slumped, she took pity on him. “Oh, honey, it’s not that big of a deal. I couldn’t tell you three apart until you started pre-school.”

            “Mom!” Jellal said, horrified.

            Siegrain couldn’t contain his laughter and Mystogan pursed his lips.

            “What?” Anna demanded. “Honestly, some days I just waited until it was time to eat. Jellal was always the first one to whine about being hungry so then I felt better. One out of three isn’t too bad!”

            “I wasn’t that whiny!” Jellal insisted.

            “Jellal, sweetie, you were. I love you anyway, though.” Anna patted his cheek before snagging two bottles of water and a box of cheese crackers from the pantry.

            “Please don’t feed the girls,” Mystogan said as she made for the hallway. “It’s almost lunch and if they eat late then they’ll be up all night waiting to be hungry again.”

            “Better have some coffee then,” Anna said unapologetically over her shoulder as she disappeared down the hallway.

Chapter Text

            “No,” Siegrain said firmly.

            “Come on,” Jellal whined. He fussed with his IV tubes and finally huffed in annoyance. “You have to!”

            “I most certainly do not.”

            “For what it’s worth, I agree with Sieg,” Mystogan said, not looking up from his laptop. “It’s a bad idea for a bunch of reasons.”

            “No!” Jellal protested. “It’s a perfect idea! If Erza misses out on this stuff it’ll be all my fault and I’ll feel awful forever.”

            Siegrain sighed in defeat and glanced at Mystogan who glared at him over the top edge of his laptop screen. He shrugged and Mystogan’s head shook almost imperceptibly.

            “Fine,” Siegrain said despite better sense. “I’ll do it. But you owe me.”

            “I’ll do anything.”

            Mystogan cleared his throat. “You know better than that, Jellal.”

            “I mean it!” Jellal leaned forward but cringed and clutched at his side. “I’ll be glad when this stupid surgery is over. I don’t see why it couldn’t have waited until after senior prom.”

            “Don’t say that in front of mom,” Mystogan muttered.

            “Jellal has a special knack for scaring the shit out of mom.” Siegrain propped his feet on the railing of Jellal’s hospital bed and crossed them at the ankles. “It’s almost like a person can die from appendicitis.”

            “How come you don’t have it?” Jellal groused.

            “Maybe I’m genetically superior to you both.”

            Mystogan pursed his lips and closed his laptop. “Impossible. We are genetically identical. The odds of you requiring an appendectomy later in life –”

            “Oh, god,” Siegrain said, his head falling backwards against the wall. “Who cares?” He grinned and it was a vicious thing. “Obviously it’s my destiny to take Erza to our very last prom ever and help her fulfill her destiny to wear a crown.”

            “You’re a dumbass,” Mystogan said shaking his head.

            “You are,” Jellal agreed. “You need to suppress it for one evening and be me. Don’t fuck this up for Erza.”

            “My word is my bond,” Siegrain declared, studiously ignoring two identical expressions of disbelief.

            Erza’s dress was a perfectly flawless forest green. Her scarlet hair had been twisted into something complicated involving white orchids and a black satin ribbon. Her smile when she saw him in Jellal’s tuxedo broke his heart into a million tiny pieces that sliced at him from the inside. It lasted all of three seconds before she scowled.

            “What’s going on?” she demanded, stepping out onto the front porch in her bare feet and pulling the door shut behind her. “Where’s Jellal?”

            Siegrain sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “He’s in the hospital.”

            “What?” she gasped in a horrified whisper. “The hospital?”

            “Erza, it’s fine.” He grabbed her wrists to keep her from smudging her makeup. “Here.” Siegrain pulled a handkerchief that matched her dress from his breast pocket and soaked up her tears before they could streak mascara and eyeliner down her cheeks. “It’s just an appendectomy.”

            “He has appendicitis?” her voice was almost inaudible. “But why –”

            “Because he doesn’t want wreck your senior prom,” Siegrain said softly. “He was admitted this morning. It couldn’t be helped.”

            “I don’t understand.”

            “Don’t you?” Siegrain watched her carefully.

            All the reasons Jellal would do something so stupid hung in the air between them. He wanted her to have the crown she’d been gushing about for a week. He wanted her to wear the dress that matched the shade of his eyes perfectly. He didn’t want her to miss a single moment of their final year of high school just because he had to have a malfunctioning organ removed.

            “I told you he was going to keep being stupid about you, Erza,” Siegrain whispered.

            “I don’t want to go,” she blurted. “Take me to the hospital. Now.”

            “We can cut out early if you want but please let me do this for my brother.” His request was the antithesis to Jellal’s. It was utterly selfish. He wanted Erza on his arm even if it was fake. “You’re already dressed and I’m here and there’s the limo behind me.”

            “When’s the surgery?”

            “Now. He’ll be out in an hour or so. They’ll let me into his room late because we’re family. I’ll get you in too.”

            “Do you promise?” She reached out and gripped his wrist tightly. Erza gazed up at him with red tinged eyes – nothing a few eye drops couldn’t fix – and slightly parted lips. God he loved her even as she begged him to take her to Jellal.

            “I promise,” he whispered as the shards of his broken heart poked at him.

            Everything sparkled in the low lights and Erza really was the most beautiful girl at the ball. She smiled and greeted all their friends and graciously accepted the many wishes of congratulations. Siegrain stood back like a good boyfriend and let her shine. Simon was the only one who eyed him closer than the others and Siegrain shot him a sharp grin when no one else was looking.

            Erza’s crown fit her head perfectly and as they danced Siegrain tried to soak it all in. The silk of her dress was warm to the touch and the back of it dipped low. He thought maybe he should feel a shred of shame at the way he enjoyed the bare skin of her back against his palm but he couldn’t manage it.

            His Cinderella story ended abruptly after their pictures were taken and her eyes grew restless and anxious. Without her having to ask, Siegrain escorted Erza out of the building to their waiting limousine. She leaned against him once they’d settled on the bench of leather seats. Her left hand rapidly sent off a string of text messages to Jellal, assumedly. Siegrain couldn’t bring himself to even glance down at her screen. It felt wrong. The wall between himself and reality had already gone up and what was left of his heart was still on the dance floor with Erza.

            He supposed hospitals were always bright even in the late hours. Erza’s heels clicked on the linoleum floors as they wove through the maze of hallways and doors. She clutched at his arm despite knowing Jellal was fine. The nurse at the third floor station pursed her lips but seemed to understand Erza’s plight more than Siegrain’s flirtatious begging.

            “It’s there,” Siegrain said, pointing at the door that stood open only a crack. “Mystogan is in the next one over. I’ll be in there when you’re ready to go.”

            “Will the limo wait for us?”

            “Nah, I’ll call for an Uber or something.” Siegrain stepped away from her but paused mid-step when she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt.

            “Sieg,” she whispered. He turned back to her and tried not to melt into the floor. “Thank you.”

            “For what?”

            “For tonight. For everything.”

            “You’re always welcome, Erza.” In a moment of absolute rakishness he reached for her hand and bowed deeply to kiss the back of it. Her skin smelled like the honeysuckle lotion he knew she preferred.

            “You’re ridiculous.” Her words were meant to chastise him but they fell soft.

            Siegrain watched her slip into Jellal’s room with a heavy heart before turning back to Mystogan’s door. His brother glared at him from his bed, a laptop open once more on his lap.

            “Well?” Mystogan demanded. “Have you had enough punishment for one day?”

            “Faint hearts never won fair ladies,” Siegrain said with a salacious grin. Mystogan snorted but, for once, kept his counsel to himself.

Chapter Text

            With every swipe of his thumb, a disgusted sound escaped his mouth. His irritation spiked and he finally whispered, “This is bullshit!”

            “Please,” Mystogan said dryly. “Tell us what’s wrong, Sieg.”

            “We’re all dying to know,” Jellal finished with an equally deadpan tone. Lucy simply glared at him and drummed her fingers on the tabletop.

            “This stupid tumblr page is posting about me again! They don’t even credit me!”

            Lucy sighed and held out her hand for his phone. Siegrain slid it across the table and waited.

            “You’re gross,” she said with finality. “Why on earth would you want credit for this?”

            “Those are my texts!” Siegrain jabbed his finger on the tabletop frustratedly. “They should be crediting my own words back to me!”

            Mystogan poked at the bridge of his glasses and took the phone from Lucy. “This is that account where they post texts from dumbass guys. I follow them on Instagram.”

            “I want credit for my texts!”

            “Are you talking about StraightWhiteBoysTexting?” Jellal piped up, peering at Siegrain’s phone over Mystogan’s shoulder. “Lucy’s right. Why would you want credit for that? Erza says that page is an embarrassment.”

            “I don’t want a bunch of rando guys using my lines!” Siegrain stood, leaned over the table, and snatched his phone back. “I put a lot of thought into those!”

            “Really?” Lucy asked. “You put a lot of thought into ‘My dick tastes like Skittles and I don’t know why’?”

            “It’s funny!”

            “I’m sure it’s a real riot to find out that the rainbow actually tastes a lot like disappointment,” Mystogan muttered, returning his attention to the open book that sat on top of three other open books.

            “Excuse you?” Siegrain demanded in a defensive tone he absolutely could not help. “I’m charming. Anyway, besides all that, it’s factually inaccurate for me to be on that page anyway. We aren’t even white!”

            “We kind of are,” Jellal offered helpfully. “Mom’s white.”

            “Don’t take this away from me, Jellal.”

            “I’m with, Jellal,” Mystogan said. “You both had to take Spanish classes in high school and, if I recall correctly, Jellal almost flunked out.”

            “So what?” Siegrain exploded. “You don’t get to invalidate your brother’s heritage, Mystogan. He tried his best!”

            “Wasn’t it you who said –” Jellal began.

            “And anyway,” Siegrain went on. “Language fluency is gatekeeping. I don’t need to speak fluent Spanish to be offended that I’m lumped in with all these amateurs.”

            Lucy’s face twisted into something close to disbelief. Jellal just shook his head and Mystogan didn’t even look up. A shrill cry from the baby monitor on the kitchen counter startled everyone.

            “That’s Sofia agreeing with the majority,” Mystogan muttered. “Go tend to your offspring. If you need someone to teach her Spanish when she can talk, I’m available for lessons.”

            “No, thank you,” Siegrain said haughtily. He stood and slid his phone into his pocket. “I can do that myself. Unlike Jellal, I can actually speak Spanish.”

Chapter Text

            “There,” Erza hissed excitedly, grasping Lisanna’s arm. “They’re doing it!”

            Lisanna whirled around in the water and poked her head above the edge of the lip of the pool just enough to see what Erza was talking about. Mystogan, Siegrain, and Jellal stood in all in a row watching Acnologia point emphatically at the strips of beef on the grill. As he spoke, three heads of blue tilted to the right in unison. Sofia clung gently to Acnologia’s arm and Lisanna chose not to think on why.

            “You’re right!” she agreed. “It’s so funny to watch. Have they always done that?” The afternoon was hot and she sank back down into the water. Eventually she’d have to get back on dry land where gravity would remind her, once again, that she was pregnant and heavy.

            “Oh, yes,” Erza said relaxing back against the tiles beside Lisanna. She polished off the contents of her cocktail glass and reached behind her to leave it on the concrete. “They’re absolutely unaware of it, too. It was super frustrating for me when I first started dating Jellal. Mystogan usually wore his glasses but that still left me trying to figure out which was Sieg and which was Jellal.”

            “He doesn’t really need the glasses,” Juvia said with a sigh. “His prescription is practically non-existent. I think he wears them because the other two don’t. I’m sure he feels superior about it, too.” Her laugh was slightly drunken. “Lana actually pulled them right off his face the other day. Luna thought it was hysterical and laughed in that outrageous way only babies can.”

            “Toddlers are so grabby!” Erza was even less sober than Juvia. “Alex was incredibly clingy. The number of times I wanted to put him right back where he came from…” She trailed off and laughed. “He’s not as bad as Jellal, though. Anna is a saint.”

            “I can’t imagine having so many at once,” Juvia agreed. “Especially these three.”

            “Erza, how old did you say you were when you and Jellal got together?” Lisanna asked. “What were they like back then?”

            “Sixteen. And awful, to be honest. Jellal is lucky he’s such a good lay.” She laughed loudly and winked at Lisanna. “I’m mostly kidding. By that time their parents traveled more often and it made sneaking around easier. Jellal and I were… adventurous is the word, I guess? Mystogan was already in university level classes and Sieg always had some kind of side hustle or scam. He was always getting in trouble and it took a lot of spotlight off whatever me and Jellal were doing.”

            “He says scam is a dirty word,” Lisanna said with a light laugh.

            “I’m sure he does,” Erza muttered with a snort. “They were good boys, though. Despite his less proud moments, Sieg has always pulled through when it counted. More than once he stepped up to bat for Jellal when I was…” Erza’s words fell short. “Well, sixteen years is a long time to be with one person. We aren’t perfect.”

            “My parents married young,” Lisanna said wistfully. “I always knew it wasn’t for me. My sister married right out of college and my brother’s in a deep state of denial with his on again, off again girlfriend.”

            “Dating is a hellscape.” Juvia only moved on her float to splash cool water on her legs and arms. “I’m glad I’m done with it. My college boyfriend had the emotional depth of a bowl of unflavored oatmeal. I took it personally because my mom’s a shrink and back then I took everything personally.” Lisanna couldn’t help her laugh. Juvia grinned and tilted her head. The sunlight glinted off the rims of her sunglasses. “Mystogan is a hell of a lot of work but I think it’s worth it.”

            “You’re good for him,” Erza said with a nod. She reached for her glass only to find it disappointingly empty. “I’ve never seen him so at ease. He used to be tense all the time except when he was with his brothers.”

            “Oh, trust me, I know. We actually knew each other for years before dating – if that’s what you want to call what we did. He was an enormous mess.” Her grin turned sharp. “I guess messy men are my kink.”

            “They’re all messy in a way.” The clink of glass against concrete drew Erza’s attention and she turned to find Jellal walking away and a freshly opened beer bottle in the place of her empty glass. She grinned. “See? That one brings me drinks!”

            “Sieg’s been on the ball about bringing me stuff when I want it,” Lisanna mused, eyeing Erza’s beer with envy. “The more wicked part of me wants to keep upping the ante to see how far he’ll go to bring me whatever I ask for.”

            “When I was pregnant with Alex, Jellal had bronchitis and stayed here for a week and a half.” She waved her hand with dismissive annoyance. “He kept insisting he’d make me sick and sometimes it’s not even worth fighting him on stuff like that. Anyway, he sent Siegrain to go shopping for me. He got every weird thing on my list. Even the stuff I know they don’t carry at the local store. There’s an Asian market a half hour away. I know he must’ve –” Erza stopped her babbling and took a long pull off her bottle. Her expression was almost sheepish. “He’ll get you whatever you want, Lisanna,” she said softly. “Just ask.”

            Lisanna smiled and tried to beat back the knot in her gut. Nobody had ever explicitly told her but she knew Siegrain had been in love with Erza for a very long time. Bits and pieces of information and conversations over the last few years had confirmed her suspicions. It also hadn’t escaped her attention that the Christmas gift Sofia had painted for him years before – the one that hung over the fireplace of their house – had not a single speck of red.

            She didn’t begrudge her husband these things. The bulk of his time spent longing from the shadows, and filling his bed with women he mostly certainly did not remember, had been before they ever started calling one another by their first names. Lisanna was certain that he’d cut that part of himself away before he’d kissed her. In fact, she thought it spoke volumes of his character that he’d managed to stuff his feelings about Erza far enough away to maintain the close relationship he had with both her and his brother.

            Juvia rolled off her float and stretched. Lisanna watched the brightly colored float whisk away on the ripple of water.

            “Mystogan told me once that their Uncle Jude was baffled by Anna’s pregnancy cravings. Apparently she had a weakness for three in the morning chilaquiles. Instead of asking what that was, Jude told Acnologia he ate at Taco Bell for the ‘ethnic’ varieties.”

            “Oh my god,” Lisanna groaned. Erza burst into hysterical giggles.

            “That explains so much!” she gasped between peals of laughter.

            “Poor Acnologia,” Juvia said dramatically. “He married into the most Wonderbread family in existence.”

            “I hear there’s a story about Anna’s family,” Lisanna said softly.

            “I keep waiting for Mystogan to get drunk enough to spill it.” Juvia eased into the shade on Lisanna’s opposite side. “He’s a terrible gossip when he drinks.” She leaned forward to face Erza. “What did you mean when you said the Taco Bell horror explained so much?”

            “When we were still in high school Sieg scammed their school newspaper out of about sixty dollars worth of Taco Bell gift cards.”

            “Why?” Lisanna asked in disbelief. “He doesn’t even like Taco Bell.”

            Erza shook her head sloppily. “It was never about the cards,” she insisted. “He was pissed the newspaper had a stupid guessing game revolving around candid shots of him and Jellal. He did a bunch of shady hacker shit and submitted a bunch of pictures of Mystogan so he could control the results. They didn’t figure it out until six weeks went by.”

            “Wow,” Lisanna said.

            “That’s dedication,” Juvia agreed.

            “He gave the cards to Mystogan in exchange for his cooperation. I guess he got busted with some Taco Bell contraband.”

            “Mystogan does like Quesaritos.” Juvia’s expression was one of disappointment. “It’s a nasty habit.”

            “Jellal will eat anything when he’s stoned. It’s disgusting.”

            Lisanna frowned and focused on the way the edge of Juvia’s abandoned float poked at the filter flap.

            “I think Sieg is running a hustle on Lucy’s daughter’s soccer team. They’re selling these little key chain charms and there’s just something –”

            Erza snorted and set aside her now empty beer bottle. “I wouldn’t be surprised. Siegrain and Natsu have a long history of that kind of thing. They had a suspiciously successful Fantasy Football bracket in college.”

            “Lucy doesn’t seem to care.” Lisanna stretched. Her stomach rumbled at the smell of the hopefully cooked beef. “I don’t really care either, to be honest. It’s just funny that he hasn’t changed in a lot of ways.”

            “They don’t,” Erza said with finality. The three of them slid off the bench and made their way toward the steps. Juvia tossed the float out of the water and Lisanna prepared herself for the gravitational inevitability of her belly once she left the pool.

            Acnologia’s gait wasn’t as steadfast as it had been even only a few months prior. He was thinner, as well. Sofia still clung to his side like she had nowhere else to be.

            “Here.” Siegrain’s voice from beside her caught her attention. He handed over her sundress and helped her get it over her shoulders and belly. “Did I miss any good pool gossip?” he asked, leaving a kiss on her shoulder.

            “That,” she said, focusing on the food Anna had left out with the help of her army of grandchildren. “Is none of your business.”

Chapter Text

            The call came through in the middle of the afternoon on a Sunday. Mystogan’s tone was careful and his stomach twisted.

            “Have you talked to mom?”

            “No, why?” Before Mystogan said another word, he just knew.

            Siegrain stared hard at his reflection. His hair had been arranged in what he’d always called ‘artful disarray.’ The term held nothing but sadness for him now – just like everything else. He couldn’t even remember the number of times he’d defended his hair products to his father, even though the man had been just as vain according to his mother. Acnologia could be seen in the shade of his eyes and the slope of his nose the most. Other, smaller, similarities were found in his shoulders and even in the palms of his hands.

            His chest tightened and he tried to suck in even breaths. There would be no point in avoiding his reflection. He’d see it all day on the faces of his brothers so he thought it best to get used to it now.

            Acnologia had been gone for only three days but his absence felt very much like a hole had been torn in the universe.

            The weather was grey and heavy. Even for a miserable month like February everything felt too wet. Too cold. Too horrible.

            Anna stood forlornly in front of him. Her shoulders tried their best to be straight but he felt the slump in his soul. Mystogan stood stoically on her right and Jellal dutifully on her left. Siegrain’s positioned himself behind her with his hands on her sad shoulders. He couldn’t see her tears but, like the slump in her stance, he could feel them.

            Erza and Juvia kept the small crowd of children, six in all, under three black umbrellas. Sofia kept one of Lisanna’s hands grasped in hers, and the other clenched tightly around the slit of Siegrain’s pants pocket. She’d taken her grandfather’s death in a way that broke his heart more thoroughly than he’d ever thought possible. From the corner of his eye he could see the section of her coat sleeve that bridged from one group of umbrellas to the other was soaked with rain but he couldn’t move.

            Somewhere off to the side or maybe behind them – he wasn’t sure – Layla and Jude stood with Lucy, Natsu and their daughter. More than anything Siegrain wished Lucy was closer.

            “Las almas de los justos están en las manos de Dios y no los alcanzará ningún tormento,” the priest said from across the hole in the ground where Acnologia would be laid to rest. Siegrain didn’t recognize him but he’d greeted Mystogan warmly. “Los insensatos pensaban que los justos habían muerto, que su salida de este mundo era una desgracia y su salida de entre nosotros, una completa destrucción. Pero los justos están en paz.”

            Anna sucked in a shuddering breath and he felt her lean backward against his palms. For a long moment all Siegrain could hear was the rain pelting the sprawl of umbrellas.

            “Los que confían en el Señor comprenderán la verdad y los que son fieles a su amor permanecerán a su lado, porque Dios ama a sus elegidos y cuida de ellos.”

            The priest closed his book and slid it into the flap of his coat. He said a few other words that Siegrain missed entirely. Sprinkles of holy water from the aspergillum were lost in the rain but the bouquets of lilies remained undamaged. Anna tossed her handful of dirt and Mystogan immediately followed. Her fingernails dug into his arm and Siegrain wondered why she hadn’t worn gloves. Jellal followed close behind.

            Siegrain stepped close to the grave and stared down into it. The hole felt too small to house a man who’d taken up such an enormous amount of space in the world. His dirt landed on the the casket lid with a muddy, wet slap.

            The rain made the pool look like a garden of liquid flowers. A million little splashes brought the water to life. Siegrain caught the scent his mother’s perfume before he realized she’d joined him on the patio.

            “You’re quiet today,” she said softly, standing beside him.

            “I don’t have a lot to say, I guess.”

            “That’s a first.” Anna’s attempt at humor took a moment too long to sink in. His laugh was short and awkward.

            “Sorry, mom. I’m…” he trailed off and glanced down at her. “Did you need me to do something?”

            “No, sweetie, I don’t. The kitchen is stuffed with food that’ll go bad before I’ll ever get around to eating it and the house is cleaner than the day your father and I moved in.” The tail end of her sentence got tangled up in tears but she smiled up at him. “I just wanted to see if you needed anything.”

            “I’m fine, mom.”

            “Don’t lie to your mother, Siegrain,” she whispered. “I know you and your dad had a rough go of it for a while. It’s okay for you to have confusing feelings.”

            Siegrain recognized Anna’s tone. It was the soft one she reserved for the children. The one that made things hurt less. He appreciated it as much at thirty-three as he had at five.

            “He’s gone and I didn’t get to do all the stuff I wanted to do.” His voice felt like rocks in his throat. “I’m afraid that I never got the chance to make him proud of me like Mystogan and Jellal.”

            “Oh, honey,” Anna said, slipping her arm through his. “He was proud in a way he could only ever be for you.”

            “No, he just loved Sofia. It wasn’t about me.”

            “Don’t argue with me, Siegrain. You and your father were so, so much alike. He saw a lot of himself in you and I think that’s why you clashed so hard.”

            “Mom –” She squeezed his arm painfully and Siegrain swallowed his words.

            “You’re so quick and clever and resourceful.” Anna’s sigh was wistful and he knew if he were to look down at her, she’d be staring far beyond the pool. “When I met your dad he was trying so hard to keep his head above water. I’d had a big messy falling out with my family that left me drifting and he taught me how to swim. He was always running some kind of side gig. Even after he landed that job at the firm and we didn’t need the money, he still had a bunch of shoes for a bunch of different jobs.”

            Siegrain’s expression pinched.

            “Does that sound familiar?” Anna prodded gently. “He was always trying to prove himself. I think his biggest regret was losing his mother before you boys were born. In his eyes success wasn’t just money, it was family. He loved Sofia because she came from you. Sofia is the most earnest part of you, Siegrain. He loved her without complication and maybe it wasn’t entirely right but he loved her in all the ways it’s hard to love your own children.”

            “I never wanted to be complicated, mom,” Siegrain whispered.

            “When you boys were little he was so ridiculous. We’d go to church every Sunday and he was so proud. I was exhausted and exasperated but your dad was proud. Sometimes parents forget that children are their own separate people. My parents struggled with that and so did your father. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t love you.”

            “I did everything ass-backwards.”

            “No,” Anna corrected. “You did everything in your own order, not your father’s. But look at you!” She spun around and tidied his collar and hair. “You and Sofia are perfect. Lisanna is wonderful, and you’ll have another perfect baby very soon. You worked so hard and did all the things he was afraid you wouldn’t. Every time she was sick or plans got derailed, you were there directing the whole show with a natural grace. It impressed him a great deal.” She smirked. “Do you think Jellal or Mystogan could’ve handled a kid at nineteen?”

            Siegrain laughed once and brought his mother into a tight embrace. “Not a chance. I’m sorry, mom. I should be the one comforting you.”

            “You’re always going to be my little boy in the middle, Siegrain. I know you need my time the most.”

            “What about Jellal?” He couldn’t help but ask. Anna laughed and pulled back.

            “I know Erza thinks I’m a saint for raising you three but I’m more than happy to let her handle Jellal.” Anna smoothed her dress and smiled up at him. “Let’s go inside and have a drink, shall we? I’d like to get good and hammered before I have to go to bed.”

            “Mystogan makes the best drinks.”

            “Not really,” Anna said lightly. “He goes too easy on the liquor. I hear you’re the one to hit up for a strong gin and tonic.”

            “Sieg?” Lisanna’s voice in the otherwise empty kitchen startled him. He hadn’t realized he’d been staring at the kitchen sink drain for so long. The night beyond the window glass looked solid.

            “Sorry,” he muttered, turning to face her. She smiled but it was a sad thing.

            “Sofia is in bed. I think she’s waiting for you.”

            “Okay.” Siegrain crossed the kitchen and pulled her as close against him as he could, considering the size of her belly. He kissed the top of her head and pressed his forehead against her shoulder.

            Lisanna said nothing and when he pulled away, she smiled up at him.

            “I love you, you know that?” he whispered.

            “Yeah, I know.” Her stomach growled and her smile turned to a grimace. “I’m going to make a snack.”

            “I’ll be in bed in a bit.” He left her in the kitchen and felt his heart sink closer down to his feet with every step toward Sofia’s room. She sat upright in her bed with the lights already out except for the ladybug nightlight she’d had for years. Siegrain cleared his throat at the door and crossed her room to sit on the edge of her bed.

            “I’m sad,” she whispered. “I don’t have better words but I wish I did.”

            “It’s okay, Sofia.” He reached over to wipe a tear from her cheek. Over the course of the last thirteen years, he’d wiped many tears but these were the heaviest. The most sorrowful.

            “Do you think Abuelito was proud of me? Do you think I loved him enough?” Sofia’s words clawed at his heart and he saw himself in every one of her tears.

            Siegrain twisted around and leaned against Sofia’s headboard. She tucked herself into his side and as his shirt grew wet with her tears, he ran his fingers through the blonde hair that reminded him of Jenny.

            “Sofia, he loved you so much.”

            “That wasn’t what I asked, daddy,” she whispered.

            Siegrain sighed and draped his arm around her body. “I know it’s not but your question was unfair to both you and him.”

            “I just want to be sure. I don’t want anyone in our family to ever wonder if I love them enough.”

            Siegrain sighed. He didn’t know how honest he could or should be with a thirteen year old girl.

            “Nobody wonders,” he said quietly into her hair.

            “Abuelito was going to teach all the new babies Spanish. I think that’s my job now.”

            “Well, I don’t think you’ll have much competition for the position. Mystogan is a terrible teacher.” Sofia laughed and Siegrain’s heart lifted. She sat up and gazed at him with eyes that were the exact shade of green as his own.

            “You know I love you, right?”

            “I know.” He smiled and pushed away from the headboard. “You know I love you, right?”

            “It was never a question, daddy.” Sofia lunged at him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She didn’t move for several long minutes. When she pulled away, her eyes were dry. “Goodnight,” she whispered.

            “Goodnight, Sofia.”

            Lisanna waited for him in bed. She licked the sugar granules off the tips of her fingers and set aside a bowl smudged with blue. Her weakness for blueberries was well known. When he slid between the sheets, she rolled over and ran her fingers through his hair.

            “It’s been a long day.”

            “The longest.” Siegrain listened to the beating of her heart and felt their baby squirm in her belly. He drew circles on the swell of it and sighed. “I’m sad he’ll miss it. I’m sad that it took me so long to get my shit together he didn’t get to see me do it right.”

            Lisanna didn’t speak and let him have his silence.

Chapter Text

            “No,” Jellal said firmly. “It has to be from a rescue or Erza will divorce me.”

            “Well that’s your own fault for setting a precedent where you tell her everything,” Siegrain said without any pity whatsoever. He stretched out across the leather loveseat that still smelled like vanilla tobacco and propped his feet up on the arm.

            “There’s a rescue two cities away. Getting out there without blowing the surprise would be problematic. That’s at least six hours of driving even if we leave at sunrise.” Mystogan said in the same monotone he’d been taking all afternoon.

            “Yeah?” Jellal snapped. “And the closest breeder is, what, eight hundred miles?”

            “They’d ship the animal here. The pricing is right on the site.”

            “If you pick the breeder then I’m out,” Jellal said firmly. “And I’ll ruin the surprise.”

            “You’re such a dramatic child,” Mystogan complained. Siegrain could see he’d already closed the tab despite his annoyance. “I want to get this done as soon as possible. Secrets keep worse than bananas.”

            “Your dad jokes are worse than mine,” Siegrain said, crossing his feet at the ankles.

            “Speaking of dads,” Jellal said petulantly. “If ours sees you with your feet on his leather loveseat –” He cut off mid-sentence and pursed his lips. His gaze fell to the carpet. “Sorry.”

            “It’s fine,” Siegrain said, shrugging with false nonchalance. “It’s an adjustment.”

            “Well, I sent the email,” Mystogan interrupted. “Once I hear back from them, we’ll plan a trip. Shouldn’t take more than a day.”

            “How are you going to explain all this to mom?”

            “Explain what?” Mystogan shut his laptop and stretched before shoving Siegrain’s feet off the arm of Acnologia’s leather loveseat.

            “Uh, that we are all gone for an entire day! Don’t you think she’ll notice?”

            “So what if she does? We’ll be gone and the family will cover for us. It’s fine. Everyone will be here except us.”

            “I still think –”

            Siegrain stood. “Nobody cares what you think, Jellal. Mom’s gonna love it.”

            A perturbed yowl came from the pet crate and Siegrain cringed. The thing had been voicing her displeasure since they’d left the rescue property.

            “There’s no way they didn’t hear that,” Jellal complained, grabbing the bags of supplies from the back of Mystogan’s shiny new SUV.

            “Can you shut the fuck up?” Mystogan hissed. “You’ve been whining all day! You’re the one who wanted to go to the rescue!”

            “Can you both shut it?” Siegrain appeared alongside the SUV with the crate against his chest. “Let’s just get inside and hope she loves mom enough to stop screeching at us.”

            “Yeah,” Jellal muttered.

            “Fine,” Mystogan groused, shutting the back gate of the SUV.

            The sound of chattering and cutlery against plates could be heard as soon as they entered the house from the garage. Christmas lights twinkled from the front room where a mountain of wrapped gifts were piled around a tree that brushed the vaulted ceiling. All the voices stopped when Mystogan, Siegrain, and Jellal appeared in the archway that led to the dining room with the small pet crate and several shopping bags.

            “Oh!” Anna exclaimed, standing. Once she cleared the heads of everyone at the table she froze. “What’s that?” she gasped. “I thought for sure you boys had outgrown the weird pets phase.”

            “Relax, mom,” Siegrain said, approaching the long buffet that lined the wall. He glanced at Lisanna who held their sleeping six month old baby against her shoulder. She winked at him and his nerves fell away. Jellal cleared the decorative candlesticks to make room for the crate and Mystogan cleared his throat.

            “We wanted you to have something and we’re pretty sure you’ll love it,” Mystogan said in a less than confident tone.

            “I appreciate the thought, boys, but –” A series of excited squeals and gasps from the children at the table drowned her out when Siegrain pulled a spotted sphinx cat wearing a bright pink sweater from the crate. The cat dug her claws into his chest but he did his best to smile anyway.

            “Oh,” Anna said with an indescribable expression. She covered her mouth and for a brief moment, Siegrain panicked. Had they fucked it all up?

            Anna circled the table and reached out to touch the smooth, pointed ears of the cat. She smiled when a wet nose pressed against her fingers and Siegrain thought he might faint with relief when the cat began to purr very loudly and Anna suddenly smiled.

            “You brought me a Janice 2,” she whispered. Siegrain transferred the cat into his mother’s arms. “I love her pink sweater.”

            “Do – do you like her?” Jellal asked carefully. Anna dropped a kiss on the cat’s head and her eyes sparkled with unshed tears.

            “I love her. You boys are my favorite. Did you know that?”

            “Yeah but which one?” Siegrain asked in a tone much softer than his usual sarcasm. His arm slid around Anna’s shoulders and for the first time ever he didn’t actually care about who got the most credit for making their mother happy.

            Janice 2 had an entire wardrobe of custom made sweaters Anna ordered for her from Etsy. They were a variety of colors and design and she even had a blue fleece winter coat complete with a sheath for her tail and a hood with fuzzy points for her ears. The absolutely disgusting way Anna and her grandchildren doted on Janice 2 brought a twist to Siegrain’s mouth that he could not entirely control.

            On the first Valentine’s Day after Acnologia’s death, Janice 2 proudly sported an ultra soft red sweater with white polka dots. When Siegrain inquired after it, Anna declared she’d crocheted it herself.

            That evening, after Siegrain kissed his daughters goodnight, he found his wife in bed waiting for him. Lisanna pinned him to the mattress and left a red mark on his neck before he finally spoke.

            “Can you believe my mom crocheted Janice 2 a fucking red and white sweater?”

            Lisanna stopped tugging on the waistband of his pajama pants. “Excuse me?”

            “She made it herself!”

            “Siegrain,” Lisanna said firmly. “I want sex right now. I don’t want to talk about your mom’s hairless cat.”

            “She never crocheted me anything,” he whispered petulantly.

            “You need therapy.” Lisanna crossed her arms over her chest and glared. Siegrain finally grinned up at her.

            “Sex therapy?”

            She leaned down and tugged at his pants again. “You’re awful.”

Chapter Text

            She found him in the nursery when the contractions started. The top portion of the walls had been painted a soft baby blue with a white bar of wainscoting that ran the perimeter. Below that was a deep navy with lighter pinstripes. The cribs were all of an identical whitewash. Each one had a stuffed elephant, giraffe, and zebra arranged in the corner. Her mother had warned her against plushies in the cribs but Anna didn’t want her boys to ever be lonely – and she suspected that after so many months of sharing a womb, they’d prefer to have company in their beds.

            Her husband was stretched out across the floor on his back. His body was too long for the cream-colored shag rug that she’d picked out herself and his feet were crossed at the ankles on the hard wood slats. He stared up at the ceiling where he’d pinned a multitude of tiny glow in the dark stars. His head turned to the side and he smiled.

            “Is it time?”

            “I think so,” Anna whispered. “This isn’t a typical pregnancy and I know it’s still early but I feel… things.”

            Acnologia stood and crossed the room, his feet padding silently. His fingers brushed over her belly and his touch made her feel less tense.

            “Let’s go.”

            The hospital was bright and Anna was grateful when the action died down and the lights were dimmed. She’d watched countless videos of births, and knew all the tips and tricks and positions and breathing techniques but she thought maybe nothing in the world was going to prepare her for three babies abruptly exiting her body one after another.

            Her family lived on the other side of the city and Acnologia hadn’t send word until she’d asked him to. They were all on better terms now – her career path and choice of husband was water under the bridge – but Anna still wasn’t completely sure she wanted the lot of them to crowd her miracle moment. She knew Acnologia would’ve loved to share the birth of his sons with his own mother but sadly, that just wasn’t in the cards. The woman had passed on before Anna had even realized she was pregnant.

            By twelve-oh-two on the morning of January thirtieth, Anna and Acnologia were parents three times over. She’d never been more tired in her life. He sent Layla a text message and turned off his phone. Anna thought maybe he actually glowed.

            He cradled their middle son against his chest while the other two were in her arms opposite one another.

            “They’re perfect, Anna,” he whispered.

            “I’m so tired. Part of me wonders if we’ll ever get sleep again. I’m so grateful for modern science and baby formula.”

            “We’ll be okay.” He hadn’t looked away from the infant in his arms and Anna thought maybe she’d never loved him more.

            “You think so?” She grinned and nudged his thigh with her foot.

            “Of course! How hard could it possibly be?”