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Guanlin thought he’d made it abundantly clear to his group members Daniel and Seongwoo that no, he did not like eating pizza. How would he like eating stale cardboard and strong tomato paste? It’s a waste of calories, and Guanlin would like to think he’s got a pretty nice body for not working out too much. Well, he doesn’t have Daniel’s abs, but at least his stomach isn’t sticking out. That’s enough for Guanlin. He’s got no serious desire to be a sweaty muscle pig.
Daniel being Daniel refuses to understand because how can anyone not like pizza? Everyone likes pizza. (Except his definition of everyone is extremely sketchy because he also claims his world is Seongwoo) Thankfully he quickly shuts up when Guanlin suggested force-feeding him chicken feet because he just can’t understand why Daniel doesn’t like chicken feet. Because everyone likes chicken feet.
Still, Guanlin’s resistance isn’t enough to stop Daniel and Seongwoo from dragging his unwilling body over to Hwang’s Pizza for lunch after club practice is over. Something about it being Daniel’s treat after winning some prize money at some competition or another and wanting to treat everyone.
Guanlin appreciates the sentiment, but you will not catch him enjoying the treat at all. It’s not that he doubts Jisung’s assurance that it’s really high-quality, affordable and well made pizza. It’s pizza. And Guanlin hates pizza. That’s all that matters.
If he’s being fully honest, he might even hate pizza joints. Hwang’s Pizza is probably everything he hates about pizza joints rolled in one. They’ve got those garish red cushions meant for groups of 4 to 8 (way too many people). All the groups are either large gatherings of friends or families with hyperactive children, which means too much damn noise that gets tiring after the first fifteen minutes.
He gets it, family-friendly outlets with affordable prices are a force for good he’ll probably appreciate when he grows up (according to Jisung), but he’s got a sneaky feeling that his kids will enjoy Chinese food and spicy hotpot, thank you Sungwoon.
“Hi! Welcome to Hwang’s Pizza~Best Pizza Served with A SMILE! I’m your server today, Yoo Seonho! What kind of pizza would you like today! All the pizzas are delicious!”
Yeah, and that too. Chatty and annoying servers who think you’re they’re best friend or something. Always way too bright and keep pestering you to spend more money because apparently everyone needs pizza or something like that.
“Are you really not eating Guanlin? The pizza here is really good!” Daniel says, throwing out puppy eyes that have the effectiveness of Absolutely Zero on Guanlin. (They do have an effectiveness of Shut Up And Take My Money on Seongwoo, who lets Daniel get away with way too much for just looking like a sad pug. Guanlin swears he will never be that Whipped)
“Yep.”
Really, how many times does Guanlin have to turn down offers for pizza? You’d think these people older than you have more life experience and understand what No stands for, right? Apparently they do, but they can’t comprehend what I Don’t Like Pizza means. Idiots.
“I’m sure you can find something you like here! They’re 35 flavours of pizza and sides to go with the pizza! Let me recommend-“
Oh god, can the server get any more annoying? Can he stop sounding hopped up on sugar (or pizza) and permanently over-excited about life? There is nothing so good or exciting about life. You live and you die. The End. Guanlin looks up to glare at the server with his patented Death Glare that makes even the bright Yoon Jisung shiver.
Wait, shit.
What the hell.
Since when were pizza servers so squishy and cute and after Guanlin’s stone cold heart? How can someone say the word pizza so many times and have Guanlin eating out of his palm thinking yeah maybe pizza doesn’t sound like the Devil’s food after all? Who gave this Yoo Seonho the right? He’s way too cute to be a server, a rookie actor seems more like it.
“So what would you like?” He chirps, and Guanlin feels his heart sing. “I recommend the Hwang Special, it’s my favourite pizza!”
Right, pizza.
Guanlin’s heart sinks. As much as he’s already formed an instant puppy crush very adorable server who’s only smiling at him because that’s his damn job, he can’t actually put himself through the slow and painful torture that is eating pizza. After all, this Yoo Seonho is just after the tip, Right? Right.
“Garlic bread.”
“How about the Garlic Cheese Pizza? It’s got this lovely garlic and basil base that tastes really close to the one garlic bread! The crust is twisted with cheese inside it and it oozes out when you pull a piece out!”
Yup, he’s really hoping to get a large tip. Does he make a commission by upselling pizzas to customers?
“Garlic bread.” Guanlin says firmly, refusing to let his No Pizza This Year vow be swayed by cute waiters who probably has a pretty girlfriend who’s his childhood sweetheart or something, because Life is a bed of roses, they have damn thorns and prick you where it hurts the most. In this case, Life is taunting him by placing a cute guy who is 200% Guanlin’s type in a pizza place that is negative 200% Guanlin’s taste.
“Don’t mind him, Guanlin really hates pizza.” Jisung says, trying to get the waiter to let up a little.
“But the pizza here is really delicious… it’ll change your mind, Guanlin!”
Oh god. Now the Seonho has decided to adopt a first-name basis with him and Guanlin can feel himself getting weak. What’s 500 calories and ten big bites of hell if it makes Seonho smile, right…
“Seonho! Stop bothering the customers!” The owner yells, and Seonho lets out a panicked yelp.
“Right! I’m sorry for bothering you! That’ll be an Extra Large Hwang Special and Hawaiian for you all, and garlic bread for Guanlin right?” Seonho says, ticking away on his little clipboard.
Daniel and Seongwoo reply with a cheery yes. Guanlin remains silent. Seonho stares at Guanlin, as if trying to get him to change his mind. Which Guanlin will not, because it is Very Stupid to change yourself just because of a cute waiter you will never see again. And also because Yoon Jisung is smirking at him, which is the Number One sign of Bad News.
“Just to check, only one tiny garlic bread and no yummy large pizza for you, Guanlin?”
Guanlin doesn’t know much about the food service industry, but downplaying the food you’re trying to sell doesn’t sound about right. Still, if Seonho was selling anything but pizza Guanlin can picture himself listening to his cute voice and going yeah make that double can I upsize my meal can you recommend me your favourite can I come back tomorrow can I have your number.
Instead he just nods.
“Seonho! I said stop bothering the customers!”
“Coming, Minhyunnie!” Seonho yells back. “That’s our owner. He’s super crabby but makes delicious pizza so I don’t care. Anyway, you must come back here Guanlin! You must try the pizza!”
Seonho then bows shortly to the table before bounding back to the kitchen. He spins around so fast the clipboard in his hands knocks the glasses perched on his nose askew. How cute. Seonho’s such a ditz.
Guanlin has absolutely nothing against ditzes.
“Aww, come back here, Guanlin! How about that?” Jisung imitates poorly, a shit-eating grin spreading across his face. “Will a cute server change your mind on pizza?”
Seongwoo’s laughing too hard as he continues. “The waiter wants to save you from yourself, Guanlin. Eat pizza or perish! You did look quite taken by the waiter boy, what was his name, Sunwoo? Maybe you’ll eat pizza when he gives it to you?”
“So? Do we need to come back here again so we can help your non-existent love life? I offer my whole support! We can come here after every club practice-” Daniel presses.
“Over my dead body.”
But when he’s munching through the garlic bread, he keeps seeing Jisung giving him that Knowing Smile and his I Know Better Than You, Young Punk eyes that Guanlin hates so much. So what if Jisung’s a senior citizen, he can’t know Guanlin better than he knows himself.
---
Well, Guanlin must have died and been reincarnated already. It hasn’t even been two days. Maybe being a senior citizen gives you creepy voodoo powers, maybe Jisung’s controlling his mind now. After all, his mind is only full of Seonho, who’s too cute for his own good and for Guanlin’s mental sanity. So that’s why he’s finding himself standing in front of Hwang’s Pizza. Again.
Perhaps he’s really died. Willingly entering a pizza place even though he might not see Seonho again? Nuts. He’s gone mental, and he’s going to blame Jisung. Or Daniel.Or Seongwoo. Or all three of them. Anyway, it isn’t his fault.
“Hi! Welcome to Hwang’s Pizza! Best pizza served with a smile! I’m Bae Jinyoung, your server for today. What do you want to eat today?”
Huh, so that’s how the catchphrase is supposed to sound. It’s far mellower and normally the type of waiter Guanlin prefers, but for some reason he finds Seonho’s annoying positivity more endearing.
He flips the menu. Wow, really no good. This is a pizza speciality shop. They have like four sides. Garlic bread, onion rings, fries or chicken nuggets. Or maybe he could hurt his wallet and order some overpriced coffee and milkshakes. Guanlin sighs. His waistline isn’t going to be happy.
“GUANLIN! YOU CAME! YOU REALLY CAME!”
Guanlin flinches at the volume. Sure, maybe he really did come to see the cute boy and hear his bright voice, but getting his ears yelled off isn’t part of the equation. Still, he can’t deny that he’s really happy that Seonho recognizes him by name and face. And that he's bothering to come over to serve him. There really aren’t that many people who go to pizza places and eat Not-Pizza, huh.
“What pizza do you want? Our special? Garlic Cheese? Hawaiian? Spicy BBQ?”
“Onion Rings.”
Seonho’s pouting. Awww, how cute. Although Guanlin would like to wipe that pout off his face, Seonho still looks cuter when he’s happy and doing that all-teeth-and-soul smile.
“No pizza again?” He sounds like a wounded puppy. Man, he’s really passionate about his pizza.
“Is the pizza here really that good?”
“YEAH! Minhyun makes great pizza, it’s always warm and fluffy and tasty! I can only tolerate him always yelling at me because it’s just too yummy~ I only work here because I get to eat all the leftovers!”
“Huh.”
“Come on~ Just one? A small personal pizza? I promise to pay for it if you don’t like it! Because you’re going to like it! Nobody dislikes Hwang pizzas!”
“Onion rings.” Guanlin insists. He just knows that he’s going to hate the pizza, and he won’t be able to hide his scowling when he shoves it down his throat. Then Seonho will feel bad and have to pay for it, which is not part of any plan Guanlin has. Even though Guanlin isn’t sure what the plan even is.
If he’s being honest with himself, the plan is to come here and stare at Seonho’s cute face. But like a true college student, he’s going to exaggerate and pretend that his plan was way more well thought through than that.
There is an advantage to eating onion rings over garlic bread, though. His breath doesn’t stink afterwards and he can pretend to eat them s-l-o-w-l-y, dipping them into ketchup and taking tiny nibbles as he watches Seonho go around serving customers. Guanlin is quite aware that what he is doing is Creepy and if he were a middle-aged man what he is doing would be calling Stalking.
He does have the gall to be ashamed of his actions, however, and leaves a sizeable tip for both Seonho and Jinyoung.
---
Guanlin is In Too Deep. He doesn’t even need Jisung and his Senior Citizen Powers to tell him just how deep he is, his new meal schedule makes it patently obvious.
He’s been to Hwang’s Pizza enough this month to meet the owner, Hwang Minhyun (or Minhyunnie, as Seonho would call him) who was awfully keen to meet this frequent customer who didn’t eat pizza.
It could have been a friendly meeting (Seonho thought it was), but in reality Minhyun was using all kinds of intimidation tactics to make him swear he wasn’t here to corrupt his precious little baby chick (aka Seonho).
While Guanlin really thought the nickname suited him, he was Not Impressed by Minhyun’s lousy tactics (he's got nothing on Jisung) and proceeded to point out that he was Jonghyun’s favourite student, which instead lead to Minhyun being the tamed pet and promising to give him employee discount. The power of connections, Jisung would crow.Being a gossipy ahjumma can change your fate! Guanlin calls it doing Good Research (he is not a star student for nothing).
As part of his Good Research, Guanlin’s also learnt more about Jinyoung and Daehwi, the other two part-time servers. He’s even done the good deed of hooking them up, just to score brownie points. Guanlin can’t help it. If he can’t look good in front of Seonho because of his aversion to pizza, he can at least look like a Good Guy by helping Seonho’s server friends stop dancing circles around each other and kiss already.
However, all his Good Research and self-awareness isn’t going to get himself of his current predicament. That is, Seonho taking off his server apron, sitting in the garish red chairs and demanding to know just why Guanlin’s come here three times a week to order everything off the menu that isn’t pizza. When they are a pizza place.
Guanlin can do this. Over the month he’s learnt a lot about Seonho. That Seonho is only a year younger than him, super cute, has a brother, is cuter than a button, plays basketball, looks super cute jumping excitedly, loves pizza(eww), is still adorable, looks cute eating pizza (still disgusting).
“It’s convenient. I like studying here.”
“I’ve never seen you flip your textbook more than five times. And you come here three times a week.”
“Well, the food is good?”
“Only the pizza is good. Everything else comes in plastic packets from the supermarket that I toss in the oven for fifteen minutes and put in a fancy plate.”
Well, Guanlin knew that. The chicken nuggets tasted too much like the ones he made in the dorm. At least now he wasn’t paying Minhyun the crazy markup anymore.
“I just want to get out of my room?”
“You’re in the Basketball Club and the Dance Club and the Student Council, I think you’ve got your fair share of socializing.”
Welp. Seonho is really pressing the topic hard. He’d managed to chase Daehwi’s questioning away by raising Jinyoung and vice versa, but he’s got no idea how to distract Seonho. He’s too bright.
Pressured, Guanlin just says the first thing that comes to his mind. “Maybe I just feel like it? I can eat wherever I want? Why do you care anyway?”
Seonho goes silent.
“Right. You can eat wherever you want. It doesn’t mean anything. Right. I shouldn’t care. It’s none of my business. What was I thinking? So stupid.”
He stands up rigidly, looking away and it hurts Guanlin’s heart too, because the always cheerful and happy Seonho looks maybe three seconds away from crying. Really, nothing seems to bring him down, not even when the customers treat him like crap and it makes Guanlin’s blood boil. But now he’s gone ahead and done it, gone ahead and hurt Seonho without meaning to.
Shit.
Shit shit shit shit shit shit.
Guanlin knows he should say something, anything, but like always the thought in his head don’t come out well in words. So instead of opening his mouth, he uses his actions.
Which in this case means grabbing Seonho’s wrist really hard so he’d stay and listen.
“I don’t like pizza at all.”
Seonho scoffs. Yeah, you made that really clear. Now will you let go of me?
And no, Guanlin really doesn’t want to let go of Seonho. Why else would a guy who hates pizza come to a pizza outlet three days a week and eat microwaves supermarket sides? He’s got to be crazy.
Except maybe he is crazy. Crazy for a certain waiter he can’t help but want to see over and over again.
“But maybe I want to order some pizza today and have you sit opposite me and stuff your face with it? Because you look really cute when you’re eating pizza hell you’re adorable when you’re talking about pizza… So even if I hate pizza and trust me I detest pizza right down to the smell I’ll keep coming back here because I can see you and talk to you! I always want to see you…”
Guanlin heaves a gasp after that outburst and man, was it an outburst. It feels like he’s taken his still-beating heart and laid it out on the table for Seonho to have, which is an analogy probably more disgusting than pizza.
Seonho’s standing startlingly still, the only sign that he’s still alive is the way his eyelids keep opening and fluttering shut. And Guanlin doesn’t feel much more alive either, his entire body is on fire. He’s pretty sure Seonho threw him in the oven and turned the fire on extra hot.
Then a too-pleased, cat-got-the-cream, chick-got-the-food smirk forms across Seonho’s face.
“So you like me? Do you, Lai Guanlin, resident pizza hater like me? Do you like me enough to eat pizza?”
Guanlin sighs. What was he thinking, of course Yoo Seonho would want to hear it. Just to make sure. Because sometimes actions need to match words.
“Yes.” He mutters softly, and Seonho is acting all annoying going I can’t hear yoooooouuuuuu?
“Yes I like you I like you too much I like you enough to visit a pizza outlet three times a week I like you enough to eat pizza if that makes you happy.”
He pauses.
“I just really like you and I don't want to let go.”
The words come out in a rush and way too emotional for Guanlin’s liking, but all he gets is Seonho crushing him in a hug cooing about how sweet he is, which is not a bad feeling at all. In fact, it’s about the best feeling ever.
Guanlin, for the first time in his life, ends up buying pizza, which he proceeds to feed to Seonho. It’s kind of unbelievable that Seonho is even cuter like that. What’s not as cute is how Seonho sacrifices a tiny slice (too big for Guanlin’s liking) for him to try. Which he does, really reluctantly. The most he will give Minhyun’s pizza is that it tastes a little less like cardboard. Which is the equivalent of a shitty gold star with a You Tried.
Still, Guanlin does find out there’s one way he likes the taste of pizza- when the taste is lingering on Seonho’s tongue and lips. Seonho will blush and call him too much. Minhyun takes personal offence but guess what? Guanlin doesn’t care. He’s got a boy to love who eats all the pizza he doesn’t want to. He’s not going to ask for more.