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One year she had been with them. For a year they had lived together as a family, ate together, worked together, and trained together. It was the best year Fili had ever known.
From the first time Fili had set eyes on Anwynn, he had known she was not like any other woman he had ever met. And not just because she was Man, either. Her grey eyes sparkled and her brown hair entranced him. Her voice was beautiful to him, like a song, even first thing in the morning when it was thick from sleep and she sounded like a growling bear. A beautiful growling bear.
Yes, Fili was certainly in love if bears were suddenly beautiful to him.
And the way Anwynn worked entranced him. She was slightly taller than him, only by half a head, but she was rather slender compared to Dwarven women. But it seemed to make no difference when she swung an axe to split a week’s worth of wood, or when they sparred with swords and battle axes. She was quite happy to join Fili and his brother Kili on top of their cottage to repair a rotting section of the roof, and liked to join both boys and their Uncle Thorin when they worked in the forges. She liked to forge things herself, but since swords and other weapons took a more skilled hand, she was given smaller orders like metal hair beads, belt buckles, and cutlery.
Yes, Anwynn was everything Fili thought he could ever want in a woman. Even more so, now that his mother was teaching Anwynn how to cook more than basic meals. And a year after she had decided to stay with them, Fili decided to tell her how he felt. He had planned on it being a romantic moment, and he would say all of the right things, and Anwynn would smile sweetly and declare her love for him, and that would be that.
But things are rarely ever that romantic outside of the imagination.
They were on their way back from the forge after a long day sweating and beating metal. Anwynn had finished two silver hair clips and given one each to Fili and Kili. Kili had accepted his with bright eyes and a wide grin, looking every bit the puppy that Anwynn always called him. Fili had taken his with a small smile and shaking hands, nervous about what he was planning on doing that evening.
He told Thorin and Kili that he had something he needed to finish and to go on ahead of him, then asked Anwynn if she would not mind waiting for him. All agreed, and the two were left alone. Fili busied himself moving the same tools from place to place as Anwynn stood in the doorway and looked out at the mountain scenery around her. It was just now spring and things were beginning to bloom.
When Fili was sure that enough time had passed for Thorin and Kili to have made it a distance down the mountain road, Fili declared he was finished and that they should head on. He closed up the forge and they headed back towards the little Dwarf settlement. Anwynn walked on in silence, enjoying the peacefulness of everything around her. Fili walked next to her, stomach churning nervously, trying to find the right time to tell her.
He wanted everything to be perfect. He was going to take Anwynn’s hands, look deep into her eyes, and tell her how he felt. How much he loved her. Everything had to be just right.
Finally, Fili felt the time was now. “Anwynn,” he said, getting her attention. She looked at him curiously, wondering why he had broken the quiet. He went to take her hands and look into her eyes, but in his nervousness he tripped over his own foot and pitched forward a little. Anwynn let out a small gasp and held out her arms to catch him, but he recovered unharmed and she let out a quiet giggle at the look on his face. Alright, it was okay, he could come back from this. No problem.
“Anwynn,” he tried again, making sure to keep his feet away from each other. She stopped again, and he reached for her hands, misjudged the distance a bit, and made two grabs at thin air before he finally found them. He raised his head to look into her eyes, her lovely grey eyes like iron, and froze.
He could not make any words move past his lips. His mouth hung open stupidly, drying out his tongue. He could feel his palms sweating. His heartbeat was disturbingly loud in his ears, but he still could not form words.
The silence went on for what seemed like forever, until Anwynn could no longer keep it together and let out a snort of laughter. She tried to repress it, but she could not, and started to crack up. She had no idea why she was laughing; the silence had just become so awkward that she could not help it. It was so strange to see the normally suave and sure Dwarf look so lost. Fili’s stomach dropped and he was mortified at how horrible this was turning. It was supposed to be touching and romantic, and instead Anwynn was dying laughing at how stupid he was. Finally, Fili just narrowed it down to the essential thing.
“Ilikeyou!” he blurted out finally, still holding her hand.
“I’m s-sorry, what?” she asked between her giggles, eyes watering from her hysterics.
“I…I like you,” Fili repeated slower, dropping his gaze to her left shoulder and hoping for the best.
“Oh…well, I like you, too, Fili,” said Anwynn. Her laughter had finally died away now but she was still smiling.
“You do?” asked Fili, daring to hope.
“Of course,” answered Anwynn. “You’re funny, just like Kili. You make me laugh.”
Fili’s stomach fell. She thought he meant that he liked her in general. Could a tree just fall on him now, please? Put him out of his misery?
“No, Anwynn, I mean like you,” he said, trying desperately to make his meaning clear. “I really like you. I…I love you.” And then he waited for the sky to fall, because at this point, why not.
“Oh…” Now it was Anwynn’s turn to gape awkwardly. She turned a nice shade of pink and her eyes were wide. Fili just wanted to bury himself in a hole. Or throw himself off the mountain. Yes, that one sounded good.
“I love you, as well,” whispered Anwynn, her voice barely louder than the breeze.
Fili stared at her for a moment, making sure he had actually heard the words correctly. And then he smiled as wide as he ever had before in his life. His heart was beating loudly in his chest and stomach was swooping with delight and excitement. Anwynn smiled her sweet little smile and blushed, but she looked very happy.
And standing there, still holding Anwynn’s hands, surrounded by green grass and blooming trees under a pink and purple sky, the sun slowly setting behind the mountains, Fili realized that everything was absolutely perfect.