Chapter Text
Darcy Lewis was having a normal day – or as normal a one as someone can have when they’re friends with the Asgardian Crown Prince and Thunder God, their boss is said Asgardian/God’s girlfriend and can’t look after themselves to save their life and their father happens to be Tony Stark. She’d got up, made Jane her coffee and cooked Thor’s PopTarts, evicted Jane from her bed, supervised her eating, stopped Thor breaking the kitchen (again), prevented Jane killing herself with some weird science-y machines AND it was only ten in the morning.
Then everything went to shit.
Her dad had phoned, well JARVIS had but that was basically the same thing, and told her that SHIELD was requesting (read ordering) all the Avengers to live at Stark Tower so she had to pack up Thor’s things and because Thor wouldn’t go anywhere without Jane she also had to pack Jane’s things so naturally she had to pack her own things. Oh, and Dummy missed her.
Once that was out of the way Darcy only had to wrangle Jane into leaving her machines to be lovingly and carefully packed for their trip to Stark Tower and stop Thor destroying something again – it was all she seemed to do – and then get herself a coffee because a girl can’t survive without coffee and a Stark without coffee was unheard of.
Many, many hours later Darcy had successfully got everything and everyone sorted and had set off for the nearest airport which was about three hours away – why Jane thought having a lab in the middle of the desert where people shouldn’t live was a good idea was beyond Darcy. By the time Darcy had driven to the airport with the multiple detours taken because Jane said she knew the way and Darcy argued she didn’t – Darcy was right – it was almost midnight and Darcy was complaining that all reasonable, sensible adults (minus her father who really was reasonable just maybe not sensible) were in bed and why couldn’t they be. Thor was snoring (literally thundering – how Jane could sleep next to him was beyond Darcy) in the back and so Jane volunteered Darcy to wake him (Taser works well for this) and they finally stumbled onto the plane that her dad had sent them.
Darcy headed straight for the coffee and proceeded to down three cups (hey, she was a Stark) and then fall straight asleep on the very comfy sofa in her dad’s million dollar private jet. She only woke up when Jane started screaming and Thor was brandishing Mew-Mew.
“Shut up Jane, I’m trying to sleep here” Darcy cried with her hand over her head and her other hand flailing for the mug of coffee she positioned next to the sofa before she fell asleep.
“Lady Darcy, there is a ghost on this metal contraption” Thor replied, swinging Mew-Mew dangerously close to the cupboard that held Darcy’s precious coffee.
“Ghost?” Darcy thought she had to still be dreaming.
“I believe Miss that Crown Prince Odinson is talking about me.”
“Oh, hey J. What’s happening with dad back home? Has he blown anything up yet?” Darcy answered the voice.
“Ah, I understand, it is the Man of Iron’s invisible servant” Thor boomed, dropping Mew-Mew with a thud that sent the plane juddering, “I apologise for the confusion.”
Jane was staring at a point past Darcy so she got up (to her utter annoyance, she wasn’t going to sleep anymore) and shook Jane by the shoulders. When this didn’t seem to work Darcy just slapped her which did work.
“W-wh-what?” Jane stuttered.
Darcy just sighed, rolled her eyes and gestured to the ceiling.
“Boss Lady, meet JARVIS – Just A Rather Very Intelligent System. J, meet my boss lady and Thor’s girlfriend, Dr Jane Foster” Darcy introduced them.
“Dr Foster. It is a pleasure to meet you” J said with no emotion as usual.
“What did you want J? Has dad blown himself up again? I mean, I know he hasn’t had an explosion for what – about a week but still…” Darcy trailed off mid rant as when she turned to look at Jane and promptly swore. She’d forgotten that Jane didn’t know about Tony Stark being her dad. Neither did Thor come to think of it. “I can explain?” she said sheepishly.
“Sir has not blown anything up apart from the table that your mother bought him for their first Christmas” J replied.
Darcy absent-mindedly waved her hand, “that’s fine, we never liked that table but Pepper wouldn’t allow us to throw it away. Sentimental crap or something.”
“You know the Man of Iron!” Thor boomed as he moved towards Darcy and picked her up in a crushing hug. Darcy swore some of her ribs broke, maybe her dad could build a suit for her for when this happened.
“Thor, put her down” Jane requested as Darcy turned red.
“My apologies Lady Darcy” Thor replied, shouting in her ear as she was returned to the floor and rubbed her ribs while gulping to get oxygen back again.
“How do you know Mr Stark?” Jane asked curious.
“Well….” Darcy started, then stopped and stared up at where she knew her dad had put a camera in the plane, hoping vainly for help, “he’s my dad.”
Darcy kept staring at the camera as chaos erupted around her. Jane had fainted when she heard the news and Thor didn’t seem to know whether to help Jane or hug Darcy. Luckily for her ribs the moan from Jane as she came around sufficiently distracted Thor and Darcy managed to escape with her ribs intact – this time – and quickly called her dad/JARVIS to ask for his intervention. Her dad just laughed and told her that it would mean they would be able to have fun together. Darcy promised to punch him for that.
By the time they had finally stumbled into Stark (Avengers) Tower it was some outrageous time in the morning a whole day after her dad had first called. Darcy just wanted to sit down and sleep – after a coffee of course – while Thor wanted to toast the Lady Stark as he now called her and Jane really wasn’t aware of anything as she was too busy worrying over her poor machines. Darcy did point out that she was amazing at packing shit and also if they break she can easily get her dad to buy some new ones because hey, if your dad’s Tony Stark you might as well get him to buy you shit. Her dad was waiting in the common floor to greet them with Pepper on her phone in the corner – probably covering for whatever stupid stunt her dad had done while they were on the flight. Darcy just flew into her dad’s waiting arms, hugged him then pulled pack and punched him square in the arm.
“Hey, that hurt” her dad yelped.
“That’s for leaving me on my own on the flight. And seriously, have you met this guy” Darcy started ranting while jerking her thumb at Thor, “his disasters added in with Boss Lady’s disasters mean that I’ve become disaster helpline central. The least you could do is help me when I really need it.”
“Sorry Darce.”
Darcy’s attempts to hit him again were stopped by a red haired lady walking into the room. She grabbed a bottle of vodka off the bar and somehow managed to slump elegantly down into one of the chairs. Darcy stared at her in jealousy – how could she just slump down in a chair like that? Whenever Darcy tried that she ended up hurting herself.
“One of those days Natashalie?” her dad asked.
“Yes” was the one word reply as the woman took a gulp of vodka – again Darcy was jealous, if she did that she’d fall over – she could take her drink but vodka was something else.
“Oh, these are…” her dad started but was interrupted by the woman.
“Doctor Jane Foster, Thor’s girlfriend and researcher into the Einstein-Rosen bridge and Darcy Maria Stark, alia Darcy Mary Lewis, your daughter and Dr Foster’s intern.”
Both Darcy and her dad’s mouths dropped.
“How did you find out?” her dad spluttered.
The woman just gave her dad a look and turned to face Darcy before taking another mouthful of vodka.
“My name is Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow. It wasn’t too hard to find if you know where to look.”