Chapter Text
She stares at the bright walls that had seized her from escaping. She could feel as the drugs that she had been injected, began to kick in.
Guess she really was a total screw up, a complete waste of air. She could never do anything right. She couldn’t get Melissa to love her the way she loves Spencer, she couldn’t play the game as good as Charlotte did, and worst of all, she couldn’t even be Spencer without screwing things up.
Even Mary Drake, her mother, clearly didn’t love her as much as she loves Spencer. She had sent Spencer off with a family that would provide her with unconditional love, and she had sold her to some family in Britain who couldn’t give two shits about her. The only reason that woman had even agreed to help her hold her twin sister captive, was because she wanted to keep Spencer safe. Mary Drake knew that Alex was planning to kill her twin sister, so instead she had suggested to keep Spencer hostage while she went on and pretended to be her.
Same with Melissa Hastings, the older brunette didn’t help her because she wanted to torture the younger sister that she had grown up with, Melissa Hastings had helped her because she wanted to keep Spencer safe from her evil doppelganger.
Sure, the eldest Hastings did seem to have shared a romance with Charlotte, but Melissa had always stated that she didn’t believe that her younger sister had anything to do with Charlotte’s murder.
Alex had to admit, she had hoped at the time that Melissa would’ve been the sister that she could rely on after Charlotte’s passing, but it was stupid of her to even think that would happen. For Melissa Hastings, the only other sister that she had was Spencer, not her. So she had no choice but to blackmail her into helping her torture the five girls who she suspected had killed her blonde sister.
The only faithful ally that she had was Wren Kingston, but Alex was no idiot. She knew that the only reason that Wren was probably interested in her in the first place, was because she shared the same face as Spencer, who Melissa claimed that he was obsessed with. He apparently had even tried to get back together with her before he moved back to London, but her sister had rejected him because she was in love with some Toby guy.
Maybe that’s what lead her to grow to resent her twin sister. Maybe that’s what lead her to want to hurt her. Maybe that’s what lead her to want to be Spencer.
It felt great honestly. To feel loved. Even if they didn’t love her for being Alex, she still really enjoyed the tender feelings that she received from all of Spencer’s friends. Especially when that love and affection came from a certain short-haired liar.
It hadn’t take Alex long to realize how fond she was growing towards Aria Montgomery. It didn’t take her long to realize that there was something special about the short woman, she had noticed it during their first interaction. Only that Aria Montgomery, had never realized that she was meeting up with “Spencer”.
The first time that Alex had officially met Aria, was after she had shot Spencer. The fact that Spencer had been so close to dying, lead to Aria’s PTSD relapse. Her anxieties returning lead to her to start taking prescribed medicine from the doctors, medicine that would cause her to grow very drowsy and unaware of what was real or not.
So that night, she had snuck into Aria’s room, thankfully Ezra had been with Nicole during that time, and paid her a visit as “Dream Spencer”.
_______________
Alex wasn’t sure why she was paying the tiny woman a visit, but she had a feeling that she wasn’t okay. And for some reason, she felt the urge to check in on the shorter woman.
When she crept into the room where Aria had been staying in, she heard soft whimpers coming from the bed.
Aria may have been very drowsy, but she felt someone’s presence behind her, which caused her to jump up in fear.
When Alex came face to face with the short-haired brunette, she felt her heart stop. The girl looked completely vulnerable.
“Spencer..?” Aria had breathed out in relief. Alex felt herself gulp as she watched as the tears streamed down Aria’s face. She couldn’t help but climb on the bed to embrace the trembling woman.
“I must be dreaming,” Aria whispered as she stared at who she thought was Spencer, “Y-You were shot Spencer, you’re supposed to be in the hospital right now-”
“Why are you crying?” Alex asked in her ‘Spencer’ Voice. “Are you crying over me?”
Aria let out a shaky sigh, “I feel like my whole life is falling apart Spence.” Aria confessed as she tightly held onto Alex, which caused her heart to begin to beat at an uncontrollable rate.
Pull yourself together Alex.
“First Ezra is leaving me for Nicole and now you may be leaving me too.” Aria finished as she continued to sob. “I can’t take it anymore Spencer.”
“Hey,” Alex cupped the girl’s small face in her hands. She had no idea why she was being so affectionate towards her. “Who said that I was leaving you?”
“T-The d-doctors said that the chances of you surviving that surgery w-were slim.” Aria stuttered. “You can’t leave me Spencer, we’re Team Sparia, remember?”
Sparia? It took Alex a moment before she realized that ‘Sparia’ was a combination of Spencer and Aria’s name together. She had to hold herself from snorting, not at Aria, but at how dopey the name was. Spencer must’ve been the one to come up with it.
“Of course we are.” Alex told her as she caressed her hair tenderly. Truth be told, she was rather enjoying being in this situation with Aria. She had never realized how beautiful she was, especially right now as she was glowing in the moonlight, that came in through the window.
This was the first time that she had ever looked into Aria’s deep, brown eyes. The more Aria stared at her, the more she was captivated by them.
Alex felt herself freeze as Aria leaned in and planted a kiss on her cheek, and then continued to wrap her arms around her. It’s as if Alex forgotten how to breath or move at that moment, because all she kept thinking about was how pleasant it felt when Aria’s lips came in contact with her cheek.
She felt loved, something that she hasn’t felt since she last saw Charlotte six years ago. She hadn’t realized how much she longed for that feeling. The feeling that somebody loved her.
“Please don’t leave me.” Aria said as she continued to sob into Alex’s shoulder. “I love you.”
That was enough for Alex to completely fall for her. Only that at the time she hadn’t realized that she had since she was currently obsessing over Toby. But the fact that Aria had said that she loved her, without mentioning her twin sister’s name at the end, really meant something to her.
She was feeling loved.
_______________
“What are you doing here?” Alex asks harshly, as Spencer walked in her room.
“I’m here to visit you.” Spencer quietly responds as she stares at her sister. This was still hard to adjust to.
She has a sister.
Another sister.
A twin sister.
“Well, I’d rather die than to see you.” Alex mutters in a venomous tone.
Spencer sighs, “I’m really trying here Al-” Spencer can bring herself to say her twin sister’s name yet.
“I didn’t ask you to try.”
“You know, I never understood why Ali was so forgiving towards Charlotte after everything she had put us through.” Spencer watches as her twin sister grows tense at the mention of their late sister’s name. “But now I think I do.”
Alex says nothing as she grabs a familiar puppet, a pig puppet. She began to fondle it.
Spencer scowls as she instantly recognizes the eerie looking puppet. “Why do you have that?” she didn’t even think before asking.
Alex looks up at her with a blank expression, “You can drop the caring sister act.” the British woman says, ignoring her sister’s question. “I know the only reason you’re here is because I didn’t finish telling you the story.”
“That was the reason, at first at least.” Spencer admits as she looks down. “But then the nurses told me that you were refusing to eat, that all you did was sit and hold onto some stuffed animal. For some reason, that hurt me.”
“Good.” Alex told her venomously. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but nothing brings me more pleasure than to watch you suffer. We’re sisters after all, I think I’ve had my fair share of pain. Now it’s your turn.”
It took Spencer everything within her to prevent herself from lashing out at her. She took a deep breath and relaxed herself. “Just tell me what I need to do to get you to talk to me.”
There was no point in even trying, because the British girl kept playing with the freakishly creepy puppet, and paid no attention to her desperate twin sister.
Spencer wanted answers. Answers that even her oldest sister, Melissa, was not giving her. She recalls the older brunette not being shocked at all, when their parents told her that Spencer had a twin who had been out to get her. She had seemed rather nervous about that, and had scurried out of the house before Spencer could even ask any questions.
Spencer needed to know the truth, and she wanted her twin sister to get better too, for some reason. And she knew that she, alone, wasn’t going to be able to make that happened.
After seconds of simply staring at that creepy pig, it finally hit Spencer. She now knew what she needed to know, in order to get Alex to talk.
_______________
“Are you insane?!” Aria exclaims one week later, after returning from her honeymoon. “You want me to go see her?!”
“I know it’s a lot to ask-” Spencer begins.
“You think?!” Aria interjects, obviously irritated at the taller woman’s suggestion. “You’re asking me to visit the girl who made our lives a living hell for a whole year?”
“I don’t know what else to do!” Spencer defends herself. “She refuses to eat, she refuses to take care of herself, and she refuses to answer any of my questions!”
“Spencer if she wants to die, then who are we to stop her!?” Aria expresses her evident annoyance through her hand gestures. “As a matter of fact, she can go die for all I care!”
“Aria, I can’t just leave her there to die!” The taller woman tries to reason with the short brunette. “At the end of the day, she’s still my sister. Plus, I think I’m about to go insane if I don’t hear the whole story.”
Aria let out a sigh as she walked towards Spencer, and places a hand on her friend’s cheek, “You don’t need to know the answer to every single thing Spence.” she tells her softly. “Besides, if she’s not talking to you, what makes you think that she’ll talk to me?”
“That’s the thing.” Spencer begins as she removes Aria’s hand from her face and holds it in her hand, “This might freak you out a bit, but, Alex seems to be very fond of you and I thought-”
“Wait, what?!”
“I mean honestly, are we really surprised that you’re her favorite, when she went a lot easier on you during the whole game.” Spencer points out as she crossed her arms.
“Easier? Spencer, she threatened to send Ezra to jail!” Aria reminds her. “How was that easier?”
“Well first of all, the fact that she gave you a second choice just proves how much easier she went on you.” Spencer replies, a bit too harshly. “I don’t remember Alex giving, Hanna, Emily, Ali, or I a second choice. Also, need I remind you that you screwed me over for Ezra, another reason for her to really like you.”
Aria feels herself grow guilty as she recalls how she betrayed her friends, how she betrayed Spencer for her own selfish reasons. “Is this your way of guilting me into helping you?” Aria asks quietly.
“Maybe.”
Aria knew she was going to instantly regret this, but she ended up agreeing to help her best friend. “Fine, what do I need to do.”
“Just show up.” Spencer tells her. “I want to see how she reacts to seeing you, and if all goes well, then I’ll make you a list of questions to ask her on your second visit-”
“There’s going to be more than one visit!?” Aria interrupts her.
“Well I highly doubt that she’s going to tell you everything on the first visit.”
“I don’t know if I can.”
“Did I mention she has that puppet pig of yours. Piglet wasn’t it?” Spencer mentions.
“Pigtunia.” Aria corrects her. “I knew I hadn’t lost her at the airport.”
“Aw, look at you.” Spencer jokes. “Seems like you’re willing to do this more for a puppet than for me.”
Aria reaches out and grabs Spencer’s hand, “I’m doing this for you Spence.” she tells her. “I don’t know if it’ll get the result that you want, but I’ll give it a try.”
Spencer couldn’t help but smile at her tiny friend. “Thank you little big one.”
_______________
It was another day at Welby for Alex, apparently she had been staying in the same room that her sister, Charlotte, had stayed in. She had stood up and stared at the walls. These walls that had once held Charlotte captive, now held her.
Alex felt her eyes growing damp as her stomach growled. She can’t remember the last time she has eaten a proper meal. The only meals that she’s consumed consisted of bread and water. Yeah, they did offer her more choices, but she refused to touch anything else.
She clearly didn’t care about how much pain she was in, if it meant that her precious twin would suffer as a result of that, and the fact that she made Wren shoot her is proof of that. Again, her stomach rumbled.
Maybe starving myself isn’t the best idea, she says to herself. Maybe I could just pretend that I was, I mean I am a great actress after all. I was able to pull off being Spencer and nobody noticed except for that annoying blind bitch.
Alex clearly was too caught up in her own thoughts, that she hadn’t noticed that she was no longer the only person in her room.
“Ms. Drake, you have a visitor.” a nurse informs her from behind. “Call us if you need anything.”
Alex can feel herself roll her eyes, her loving sister must be here to visit her again. Who else would visit her honestly? “What are you doing here?” the British woman calls out, still refusing to face the person who she thought was her sister. “I told you I didn’t want you visiting me.”
“Oh.” Alex hears a response from a voice that was definitely not her twin sister’s, but rather a voice that made her grow instantly anxious. She quickly turns around and feels her heart skip a beat, once she finds herself facing the short haired woman. “I haven’t even been here for a minute and I’m already being kicked out.”
“Aria..” Alex whispers her name, it sounded as if seeing her brought the taller woman a sense of relief.
The two women just stare at each other, neither one of them knowing how to even begin. Alex really didn’t mind the silence though, the fact that Aria was standing in the same room as her was enough.
She let herself take in the smaller woman’s appearance, she hasn’t seen her in so long, but Alex can still memorize every one of her features. She was still very beautiful. Even her flaws were beautiful in Alex’s eyes. Just looking at her, was able to bring out a small smile from the taller brunette.
Aria must’ve sensed that Alex was subtly checking her out, because she cleared her throat after a while, breaking the silence. “Mind if I sit?”
This was all too good to be true. Why would Aria visit her? Was she dreaming? Or was it-
“Did Spencer ask you to come see me?” Alex asks before she can even process the question through her head. “So I could satisfy her curiosity?”
Aria shrugs as she takes a seat on the empty chair that was located a meter or two away from her bed. “So what if she did?” she questions. “I didn’t have to come.”
“So why did you?”
Aria looks away, almost as if she was also trying to think of the real reason that she was here. “Maybe I wanted my pig back.”
Alex crosses her arms, Spencer really was like one of those annoying kids that would snitch on everyone. “So you came all this way for a pig that you probably had already forgotten existed? I don’t think Pigtunia belongs to you anymore.”
Aria scowls, “She’s mine.”
“We don’t alway get what’s rightfully meant to be ours, Aria.” Alex tells her as she walks to sit on her bed, facing her. “I mean, I should know right? My whole life I was robbed from the life that was supposed to be mine.”
“So you decided to take out your anger of fate’s choices, on us? On Spencer?” Aria scoffs. “How are we to blame for that?”
“I only lashed out when I thought that you girls were responsible for Charlotte’s death.” Alex admits. “Spencer’s another story.”
“That doesn’t excuse the fact that you tried to kill one of my best friends.”
“Spencer got everything. I got nothing.” Alex says in a low voice. “She had everyone to love her, while I only had Charlotte. And I lost her too, because of her. Because of all of you.”
“I thought we were clear on the fact that we had nothing to do with her murder.” Aria corrects her. “It was Mona who-”
“If she hadn’t returned to Rosewood because of you all, then maybe she’d still be alive.”
“It’s not like we asked her to come back so she could make our lives hell!” Aria raises her voice, irritated at the fact that Alex was still blaming them for her older sister’s death. “We didn’t want her back, so why are you acting like we stole her from you!”
Alex had to refrain herself from smirking, she had to admit, something about ‘Dark’ Aria, really sets her off. In a good way, that is.
Aria notices that Alex wasn't lashing out on her as she expected her to, but instead was giving her an amused expression.
“What?” She couldn't help but ask.
“I knew that I fancied you for a reason.” Alex responds as she flashes the smaller woman, a toothy grin. “You really are my favorite after all.”
Aria furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “Your favorite?”
“Of course love, couldn't you tell?” Alex was shocked honestly, she really can't believe that the shorter brunette wasn't able to detect her favoritism towards her.
“You put me through hell!” Aria exclaims venomously. “You made me choose between the people that I love.”
“You can’t honestly say that I didn't go rather easy on you, compared to the other girls.” Alex points out with a smile. “I think I made it pretty obvious.”
“You put a dead body in the trunk of my car!”
“I tried to stop you from turning yourself in.” Alex explains herself. “You're way too peng for prison. But it seems like you were too much of a wanker, because you actually almost turned yourself in for your friends. For Spencer.”
“If you didn't want me to turn myself in, then why did you set us up?”
“You turned on me for her. For them.” Alex mutters bitterly, “I think I was quite justified for being angry.”
“They're my friends.” Aria tells her.
“And you were supposed to be working for me.”
“Well I didn't want to work for you !”
“But I wanted you to.”
Aria shakes her head in disbelief, “Why?” She stares at Alex, waiting for an answer that would justify her reasoning.
Alex was also looking back at Aria, there's nothing that she wouldn't do to feel her skin pressed against hers again. She wanted to hold her, like she had when she pretended to be Spencer. She wanted feel loved by her, she wanted to feel that same feeling that she felt when she first interacted with her.
“Why don't I let you think about that?” Alex suggests as she glances at Aria’s hand, she was wearing the wedding ring. She let's out a small chuckle, “So you married that fool after all.”
“What's it to you?”
“You deserve better.”
“It's really none of your business.” Aria says defensively.
“Do you love him?”
“What?”
“Do you love him?” Alex repeats her question. “Ezra?”
“Yes I do.” Aria responds. “I've never once doubted that I do.”
“Does he love you as much as you love him, though?” Alex couldn't stop herself from asking, her jealousy was getting the better of her.
Alex watched as the smaller woman's leg begin to slightly shake. She felt a pang of guilt hit her, for a moment she had completely forgotten about Aria’s PTSD.
She reaches out and presses her hand on Aria’s knee, to get her to stop shaking it. Aria stiffens at her touch. “I'm sorry.” Alex apologizes. “I never want to hurt you, but it seems like I always end up bloody doing so anyways!”
“You're A.D.” Aria whispers as she removes Alex's hand from her knee. “Isn't that what you're supposed to do?”
“I don't want to purposely hurt you .” Alex explains herself in a soft tone. “I just let my anger get the best of me.”
“But you purposely want to hurt Spencer, don't you?” Aria questions her. She realized that she hasn't even asked any of the questions that Spencer wanted her to ask her younger sister.
Alex lets out a laugh, “She really is your best mate, ain't she?” She asks rhetorically, not really expecting a response, because she already knew the answer. “Well, I can't say I'm not envious of that.”
“Envious of what?”
“Of how much you love my precious sister.”
Aria scowls, not really understanding what the taller woman was saying. “Why would you be envious of that?” She couldn't help but ask.
Alex looks down for a moment, before looking back up at the smaller woman. She really was slow, wasn't she? But Alex didn't care honestly, she just finds it unbearably cute.
Then again, everything about Aria was unbearably irresistible for Alex. She brings her eyes towards the shorter girl’s lips, Alex wanted nothing more than to have a taste of them again.
Yes, again. She had already shared her first kiss with Aria before, only that Aria had thought it was another one of her ‘Spencer Dreams’.
_____________
It was the night before Spencer's official release from the hospital and Ezra was soon returning, therefore Alex knew that it was also the last time that she would visit Aria like this.
It made her sad honestly, the fact that she wouldn't be able to hold Aria ever again. Not with Ezra back in the apartment at least. Plus, Aria would soon be off her meds anyways, so Alex really had no choice but to say goodbye.
So there, Alex laid with Aria’s head resting on her chest. She wondered if the smaller woman was sober enough to acknowledge how fast the taller brunette’s heart was beating. Or maybe she just didn't care, because after all this was just one of her ‘dreams’.
Alex really never had any high expectations for her future, after meeting Wren for the first time, she just imagined that she would spend the rest of her life with him. She loved him yeah, but she wasn't in love with him. He was just someone who she knew would never betray her, someone who gave her a shoulder to cry on over Charlotte's death, something that not even her own sister, Melissa Hastings did.
However, as she laid there, with Aria next to her, she could see it. She could see herself actually wanting to be with the tinier woman, for the rest of her life.
She ran her fingers though her arms as she placed a kiss on her head. Alex didn't know what it was about Aria that made her feel all soft and warm. All she knew was that she liked the feeling, she liked the way Aria would look at her whenever she would come over during the nights.
Alex was so lost in her thoughts that night, that she doesn't remember how or know why, but Aria had woken up and placed a kiss on her chin.
Alex recalls that her eyes widened as she turned around to face Aria, who was looking at her as if she were her whole world.
“A-Aria-”
“I know this isn't real, but for some reason I still wanted to thank you for being here for me throughout- everything.” Aria whispered as she pulled who she thought was ‘Dream Spencer’ into a tight hug.
Aria never questioned why her dreams about Spencer had felt real, because she knew it wasn't possible. Not when Spencer was laying on a hospital bed, barely conscious about her surroundings. It had never occurred to her that the entire time that she was with ‘Spencer’, was really not a dream at all, but rather a twin.
Aria had kept her eyes on the taller brunette as she removed herself from the embrace. She stared at her for a while, before leaning in and capturing Alex in a passionate kiss.
Alex jumped in shock at the smaller woman's bold move, but she didn't fight it, instead she allowed Aria to straddle her, as she pulled her closer.
Alex felt as if her heart was going to explode as she felt Aria begin to gently rock her hips on her. She couldn't help but let out a moan into their kiss, which allowed Aria the opportunity to slip her tongue in and explore Alex’s mouth. Alex felt herself allow her hands to run up and down Aria’s sides, not wanting to miss touching any part of her. She wasn't sure how far Aria was going to go, but she knew that they couldn't go all they way. How was she going to explain everything in the morning?
Aria wasn't sure why she decided to make such a move, maybe it was because at the time she had genuinely thought it was a dream, so it didn't really matter. It's not like it was the first time she'd ever had a hot dream about one of her friends.
In desperate need of air, Aria had stopped their makeout session and just looked at Alex intensely. “This feels too real-” she breathed out.
Alex gently pushed Aria off of her, and stroked her face softly. “You should sleep.” She whispered. “It won't be long until you actually see me in person.”
Aria felt her eyes growing heavy as nodded, “I'll be sure to give you a tight hug when I see you.”
Alex felt herself grow rather jealous as she thought about how her twin sister would now be the one getting all of those loving looks and tight hugs from Aria, now that she would be out of the hospital. She even considered giving her another wound just to prevent that from happening.
“Not too tightly love,” Alex whispered as casually as she could. “I still have the gun wound, you wouldn't want to hurt me now.”
Aria hummed a yes, her eyes were already closed. She was already almost asleep, meaning it was time for her to leave. But before she did, she gave Aria one final kiss on the head.
_____________
“Why would you be envious of that?”
“Like I said earlier,” Alex says. “I’ll let you figure it out. Maybe you’ll even know the answer the next time you come and visit me.”
“Next time?” Aria questions, she wasn’t even sure if she wanted to come back. All of this made her feel really odd.
“Well, I’m assuming that you didn’t ask any of my lovely sister’s questions, meaning that she’s going to be quite gutted over that.”
“I still have some time.” Aria tells her. “I could just ask what needs to be asked right now and get it over with.”
“Yeah, about that love.” Alex begins as she stands up from the bed and walks up to one of the mirrors hanging on the wall. “I have an appointment with the doctor here in like 10 minutes, so you won’t be able to get much out of me anyways.”
Alex didn’t want to lie to her, but she really didn’t want this to be the last time that she sees Aria. She wanted to spend more time with her, even if the smaller brunette could never love her the way she does. Alex didn’t care, she just wanted to look at her, be with her.
Aria also stands up, preparing herself to leave. “I guess I will consider it.” she replies softly. She wasn’t sure why she had almost agreed so easily to come again. Maybe it was her curiosity getting the best of her? Or could it be something else?
“I’d consider carefully if I was you,” Alex says as she turns around to give her a charming smile. Aria felt a sense of familiarity upon looking at the woman’s smile.
Yeah, Alex did technically have Spencer’s face, so that’s where the familiarity could’ve came from, but then again she doesn’t recall Spencer ever looking at her the way that Alex was looking at her.
“I’m sure Spencer’s dying to know why her precious older sister, Melissa, was also involved.”
“Melissa Hastings was involved too?” Aria asked in disbelief. She instantly grew to feel very sorry for her friend, seems like literally of her siblings besides Jason, were involved in the A game.
“That’s a conversation for your next visit.” Alex responds as she gestures Aria towards the door. A part of her wanted to pull her into a short hug, but she didn’t want to creep the shorter girl out. So she just let her walk out, without another word.
Alex genuinely wasn’t sure if whether or not she’d see Aria again, but for now she could only hope that she would. She could get used to having her around.