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I lay there for a long time, so long that I must have eventually either fallen asleep or blacked out, because next thing I knew, the young Ronso from before was shaking me awake.
“Guardian, get up,” he said. “Guardian alive?”
I sat up. “Yes.”
“Come with Kimahri to mountain gate,” he said. “Ronso will make better.”
I slipped Anya’s sphere into my pocket. “I don’t know if that’s possible.”
Before Kimahri led me down Gagazet, I piled up some rocks at the site of Anya’s death, and placed her summoning rod within it, so it was sticking out a little. I cried as I stacked the heavy stones, and prayed in front of the monument. The sunlight was warm on my back as we made our way back to the mountain gate, but I could barely feel it. I did not know if I would ever be able to feel again, to laugh as I once did. All I felt was emptiness.
After taking a few days to rest at Gagazet, the Ronso calling me only “Guardian,” I went back through Macalania to Bevelle and knocked on Braska’s door. Thankfully, he answered.
“Auron?” he asked. “What are you doing here? Where’s Anya? Have you defeated Sin?”
I tried to speak, but no words came from my lips. I just started crying.
“Mara!” he called. “Come on, Auron, let’s get you inside. Tell me everything.”
When Mara had joined us in the family room, I told them of what had happened at Gagazet. Both had shocked looks on their faces afterward; Mara got up and left the room, her eyes glazing over. Braska came over to me and gave me a long hug.
“Auron…” he said softly. “I am so sorry. I cannot possibly imagine what you’re going through.”
“No,” I whispered.
“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need to,” he said. “Take as long as you like, truly. And, hey—maybe they’d be willing to take you on at the temple here.”
“I doubt they’d accept a failure, Braska.”
“I don’t think they’d see you that way,” he said, breaking the hug. “Do you… do you wish to stay in the same room as before?”
“Yes,” I replied quickly. “I do.”
Braska took me to the room, and wordlessly closed the door as I looked around it, remembering all those nights with Anya, remembering Paine’s birth…
Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea.
I took the sphere out and sat on the bed, watching it over and over again.
It was not long before I received word that the Besaid temple was looking for me: they wanted to know if I was alive, and they hoped I would come back if I was. I said my farewells to Braska, Mara, and Yuna, and made the long trip back to Besaid, not expecting to stay. A familiar face greeted me when I arrived.
“Auron!” Kinoc said, drawing me into a hug. I remained motionless, silent. “We’ve missed you around here!” He stepped back to examine my reaction. “I heard about what happened. I am sorry, my friend. If it’s any consolation, you couldn’t have guarded her from an illness.”
It wasn’t, but I gave him a nod of acknowledgement, grateful that he’d try to console me.
“I was just on my way to meet with Kappo,” Kinoc continued. “He’ll want to know that you’ve arrived.”
We walked together to the room in which Kappo spent most of the day, if he wasn’t giving a service, and entered together. His face twisted into a mix of sadness, relief, and surprise when he saw that I was accompanied Kinoc.
“Auron,” he said. “So good of you to come back. I am sorry that—”
“There is no need to apologize,” I said. “I must train harder.”
“I see your resolve is intact. Good.” He rose from the chair in which he sat and walked up to us. “We’ve just received new recruits for the temple. I’d like the two of you to train them, to show them the necessary discipline and dedication it takes to serve Yevon.”
“My lord, if I may,” I began. “After my journey… are you certain?”
“I recommended you to be Lady Anastasia’s guardian because you were the most committed warrior I’d ever seen,” he answered earnestly. “I still believe that, and I think your experiences in your travels has only strengthened you. Perhaps you didn’t make it to Zanarkand, Auron, but that doesn’t make you weak.”
I was speechless. His high opinion of me had been previously unknown to me. We respected one another—he was a good man, despite his offspring—but I had never heard him review me like this.
“Thank you,” I finally choked out.
“You’re a good guy, Auron,” Kinoc murmured as Kappo began to list the details of our new assignments. I took a deep breath: perhaps coming back to Besaid would be a positive change.
Kinoc and I had just dismissed our trainees for the day when Kappo approached us. It was not out of the ordinary—we had been doing this for a year already and Kappo often came by to review the progress of the day—but something about his expression told me this would not be an ordinary discussion.
“What can we do for you?” I asked him.
“I did not want to tell you until it went through,” he began, “but a few months ago, I put in requests to have you both transferred to the temple in Bevelle.”
Kinoc and I exchanged glances. He had been dreaming of such news for years. Once upon a time, I had, too, but I had found an uneasy peace back in Besaid. At least my days were routine, and my nights filled with studying Yevon’s teachings, hoping to find some way to defeat Sin… for Anya’s sake, and for Paine’s. I didn’t know if I was prepared to go back to Bevelle: my only other friends were there, but there were so many emotional memories tied to the city, as well.
“I’ve just received word that you’ve both been accepted for study and training at the Palace of St. Bevelle,” Kappo continued. “I wanted to congratulate you in person.”
“This is such an honor,” Kinoc said. “Thank you, my lord.”
“When do we leave?” I asked.
“They’d like to see you there in one week, if possible,” Kappo said. “You should leave as soon as you are able.”
“That shouldn’t be any trouble, right Auron?”
I nodded absentmindedly. “Right.”
My transfer to Bevelle was relatively smooth, all things considered. Kinoc and I saw each other fairly often, but I had my own quarters, by request, and we did not speak much outside of our daily training. The time I had to myself was spent reflecting on the last two years of my life and studying the scriptures. I was going to seek out every nuance, every minute detail, if it meant stopping Sin. Perhaps I could even think of a way to end it for good. I owed it to the family I never got to have.
Though I stayed at the temple, Braska and Mara would visit occasionally. They offered to let me stay at their home, but I declined: I was grateful, but they had done enough for me.
For almost five years, my routine remained relatively constant. One day, though, my evening reading was interrupted by one of the priests knocking at the door to my quarters.
“Auron!” he called.
“What is it?”
“You have visitors.”
“Braska?”
“No,” he called. “They say they’re from Besaid.”
“Besaid?” I repeated, taken aback.
“Yes. Do you know anyone from Besaid?”
“Yes,” I confirmed. “I will be out momentarily.”
“I will inform them,” he said. I heard his footsteps as he walked away, their echoing sound fading off.
“From Besaid…” I said, putting my book aside. “Who could it be?”
I felt strangely nostalgic as I left the little room and wove my way through the halls of the temple to the main chamber. I found Kappo and Asta accompanied by Kinoc. He clapped me on the shoulder as I shook hands with Kappo.
“Hi, Auron,” Asta said shyly from beside her father. I wondered if it was even possible that she could have changed from the annoying little child she was when I saw her last: that was all I had ever known her to be, after all.
“Hello, Asta,” I said, waving at her. She blushed crimson. “How have you been?”
“Not… too bad,” she replied. “And you?”
“Busy,” I replied. “I have been reading and re-reading the teachings since my journey… ended,” it still took a fair amount of strength to keep from crying at the thought, “looking for a way to defeat Sin.”
“Do you live here in the temple, as you did when you were in Besaid?” Kappo asked.
“I do,” I said. “I’m fortunate to have my own quarters, and I’m very grateful. I’m surprised to see you here though, Kappo: what business have you here?”
“It is not my business, but Asta’s,” he said. “Go on, child.”
“Oh… yes, Father.” She walked up to me. “Auron, there is something I would like to ask you.”
“Yes?”
“Well… um, you see…”
“What my daughter means to say,” Kappo took over. “Is that it has come time for her to choose a suitable husband.”
I could already tell where this was going, and not one fiber of my being liked it. “Yes…?”
“Auron, I want to ask you… if you would be my… be my… husband,” she finished.
“May I remind you, Sir Auron,” Kappo said. “That there could be generous rewards for your acceptance of this arrangement.”
“And if I decline?”
“There could be… severe punishments,” Asta cut in, her voice much slyer than it had been a moment ago.
I sighed. No, she has not changed at all.
“I am afraid I must decline,” I said. “Yevon states that I am not allowed to marry at my current rank.”
“An exception would be made in this case,” Kappo said. “I am sure Grand Maester Mika would allow it, even rejoice in it.”
“Even so,” I said, unwavering. “It is not my intention to take a wife.”
“Are you quite sure of your answer?” Kappo inquired.
Kinoc turned to me. “What are you saying, Auron?” he whispered urgently. “You wanted to get to the top, right? You want to be second in command of Bevelle’s armies? We’ve been working for this! I’ve been hearing rumors that I’m supposed to compete against you for the title, though everyone knows you’ll get it!”
I had heard the rumors, too, and although it would have given my life some direction, I would not marry just for a job. “Kinoc, I have my reasons, you’re just going to have to trust that,” I said. “No matter the repercussions.”
“I swear, Auron, you’ve completely lost your marbles over the last year,” he muttered. “Well, it’s your funeral.”
“So be it.”
“Very well,” Kappo sighed. I followed after him, calm and collected as he ushered a hysteric Asta from the temple.
“Are you sure you know what you just got yourself into?” Kinoc asked.
“No,” I said. “But I will be able to handle it, whatever it may be.”
The following day, I was called into the courtroom, where Kappo, Asta, and Grand Maester Mika were all gathered.
“To what do I owe this… unexpected honor?” I inquired, choosing my words carefully as I glanced between all three people.
“Please, Auron, stand on the platform there,” Mika instructed. I did as I was told. “Now, do you have any idea as to why you have been summoned here?”
“Some,” I muttered through clenched teeth, glaring at Asta.
“You have been called here due to a belonging of yours that documents a very serious transgression, very serious indeed,” he continued, holding up Anya’s sphere.
“What?!” I asked, feeling my cloak lining for it. “I didn’t let that out of my sight for one minute!”
“It matters not,” Mika said. “What does matter is that we are now aware of it, and you have quite the decision before you.”
“I have a decision?” I asked.
“Asta has pleaded for you,” Mika explained. I glanced up at her, and saw that she was crying.
“Has she?” I asked, understandably cynical.
“Your options are as follows,” Mika continued. “You may choose to advance your ranking within Yevon and allow us to destroy the sphere—”
“NO!” I cried.
“Or,” Mika continued, obviously more than a little irked at my outburst. “You may choose to keep it and remain a warrior monk for eternity. You would still have access to the temples, of course, but you would never advance in rank.”
“I will never destroy that sphere,” I said through gritted teeth. “No matter the consequences.”
“So be it,” Mika said. “Kinoc!”
Kinoc stepped forward, dressed in new armor to go with the beard he had sprouted over the past year. “Yes, Lord Mika?”
“Take this to Auron and see him from the temple,” Mika said, handing the sphere carelessly to Kinoc. It infuriated me to see him handle the only memory of happiness I had as if it was worthless junk. “If you will.”
“Y-Yes, my lord,” he said, bowing.
I met Kinoc outside the temple. He handed over the sphere, and I quickly stashed it in my pocket.
“I am… sorry about this,” Kinoc said, hanging his head.
“As am I,” I told him. “Your new gear?”
“For my training,” he explained. “New post.”
“I see,” I nodded. “Well, I suppose I will be off then.”
“Yes,” Kinoc said sadly. “Until we meet again, Auron.”
“Until we meet again.”
I collected the few belongings I had and left the temple, my strides swift as my feet carried me to Braska’s home. He answered the door, Yuna by his side.
“Auron, good to see you,” he said. He examined my face and furrowed his brow. “Did something happen at the temple?”
“I have been as good as excommunicated from Yevon,” I said. “But it is no matter. I have read every teaching, every book, every scripture, to the point where I could write them all from memory. The only thing I must do now is to think, and decode. Has Mara called yet?”
“No,” Braska said, shaking his head. “I am beginning to get worried about her. I know she went to see her brother, who she has not seen in years, so she could bring him back to meet Yuna, but she hasn’t called.”
“Well, it’s only been a day, and she is going all the way to Bikanel Island,” I pointed out. “She’ll probably be there by nightfall, and call us from there.”
“Yes, I suppose,” Braska said. “Still, I do not have a good feeling about this.”
Later that afternoon, while Yuna was off at the temple to begin her education of Spira’s past and Yevon’s teachings, Braska and I were watching a blitzball match when a breaking news bulletin interrupted the program.
“We interrupt this program with a special news bulletin,” the reporter said. “Reggi here at the news desk. We have just received word that Sin has attacked again, just off the coast of a small, seemingly deserted island in the southwest.”
Braska’s eyes widened. “An island?”
“There was a ship in the vicinity,” Reggi continued. “It is feared that none of the passengers have survived—we will keep you updated as we receive word.”
“No…” Braska said, shaking his head in horror. “No! MARA!”
We were both silent for a moment, absorbing the shock.
“Braska,” I said softly. “I… I am so sorry.”
“Mara…” he whimpered. “What am I going to do? What will I tell Yuna? How will she take this?” He shook his head. “She’s only seven, Auron.”
“I know,” I nodded. I could not help but sympathize with him, and remember how it had felt when Anya died.
I sat with Braska in silence until Yuna came home.
“Hello, Father!” she said brightly, skipping into the living room. “Has Mother called yet?”
“There…” he began, attempting to compose himself. “There is something I must speak with you about, Yuna.”
Braska looked over at me, and I nodded in understanding. I left them quietly and retreated to my own room, where I stared out the window toward the temple, wondering how Braska would handle this… how Yuna would handle it.
The following day, Braska knocked on the door of my room—the room I had shared with Anya, so many years ago. It was difficult staying in it again, but after the incident at the temple, I found I could stomach it a little easier.
“Come in,” I called, looking up from my book of teachings.
“Auron,” he said. “I have decided to reprise my role as a summoner. I thought about it a lot last night, while I was comforting Yuna. I want to do it for Mara, and for Anya and Paine, and for Yuna… so maybe she can grow up in a world without Sin.
“I would like to ask you if… if you could reprise your role as a guardian.”
“I would be honored, Lord Braska,” I said, chuckling a little at the title. “But, what of Yuna?”
“Her aunt—my sister—lives just down the street,” he explained. “After she comes home, I will help her pack and we will drop her off there.”
“So, we are leaving tonight, then?”
“Yes.”
“And… what of the other part?” I inquired. “Do you think she’ll be able to handle it? Losing both her parents so close to each other, and so young?”
“She’s strong, like her mother,” Braska said, a touch misty-eyed. “She will be able to take it, I know she will.”
“If you are sure,” I said.
“I am sure.”
“Well, I will get my pack ready and stock up on supplies.”
“Thank you, Auron,” he said, bowing to me. “It means a lot to me.”
“Straighten up, Lord Braska,” I said. “You’re the summoner here, not me.”
He chuckled. “Very well, then.”
Braska left the room, leaving me to organize my things. I grabbed my old travel canteen and filled it quickly, bringing it back to my room and setting it on a table. I then began to go through the pack, reorganizing things as I saw fit and taking stock of the items I had left over from my last venture. I then felt something odd—something that was not a vial or weapon—and pulled it out, my heart skipping a beat as I finally laid eyes on it.
Anya’s necklace.
I did not know how long it had been in the bag, much less how it had gotten there. Perhaps we had tucked it away after Paine died. In any case, I had not seen it in years.
I kissed the beads that had graced my wife’s neck, my daughter’s, and felt a tear slip down my cheek. My beautiful family… it seemed their energy was infused into these beads.
I grabbed my canteen, and used the necklace to fasten it to my belt, instead of just a leather strap, as I had before. I felt somehow stronger as I finished organizing the bag, like I had Anya’s drive and Paine’s added to my own… as if they would be there to defeat Sin with me.
That night, after Braska and Yuna had completed their lengthy, tearful goodbyes, Braska and I stood outside his sister’s home and looked around the city’s nearly vacant streets.
“Well, it is time,” he said. “I wish to pray at the temple for a safe journey before our departure.”
“Very well then,” I said. “Let us go.”
We made our way to the temple and entered through the front doors, the monks all casting us looks of disapproval as we stood before the statues of high summoners past.
“Why do I feel as if we are not welcome here?” I asked, feeling their stares burn me like fire.
“Pay it no mind,” he advised as he prayed. I ran my fingers over the beads at my waist, then joined him in prayer, surrounded by the Hymn of the Fayth.
After only a few seconds of calm, quiet prayer, the doors of the temple burst open, and we both turned to look. Three guards came through the door, attempting to wrestle a gruff-looking, shirtless man with fairly long, dark, oily hair and a sprawling tattoo on his chest into submission.
“I’m tellin’ ya,” he insisted, his words a tad slurred. “I’m from Zanarkand! I swear it! On my honor as a blitzer!”
“Save it for the high priest,” one of the guards said, unamused.
“But I am!”
“Silence, heathen!” another guard commanded. “A man from Zanarkand? And especially one of your caliber? Preposterous!”
They took him in the direction of the holding cells. Braska stood up, his gaze following the scene.
“What might that man’s name be?” he asked a nearby monk.
“Jecht, or so he says,” he replied. “He’s been here a few days, and caused trouble every one of ‘em. Today it was defecating on public property in a drunken stupor, and we’re holding him until the high priest can find time to sentence him.”
“Hmm…” Braska said, looking off thoughtfully into the distance.
“Lord Braska?” I asked.
“I shall be back momentarily,” he said, following them down the hallway.
“Braska!” I called. He did not turn around, so I followed, just behind him, and waited outside the doors of the holding cell room.