Work Text:
In the mild English afternoon, Sebastian and Mark stood on the terrace of the Ferrari motorhome, the former animatedly describing the newest - and not as funny as he would like to think - story he heard in the garage that day from the mechanics, but Mark was barely listening.
He was, in fact, miles away, deep in his thoughts but he nodded at the right times and asked the right questions which had kept Seb talking for long minutes now. He didn’t mind. He smiled faintly as Sebastian got to the gist of the story and started to gesticulate heavily with a big grin on his face.
If Mark had to be honest with himself, he missed this. His relationship with Sebastian since his retirement from formula one – it was nice. Some might even call it good. They weren’t best friends but they kept in touch, the occasional phone calls and text messages, the private chats during race weekends whenever they both had the time. They get on surprisingly well, actually, now with the lack of rivalry that existed between them back in the day.
Although lately duty called the two men in the opposite directions, not allowing them to catch up even for a quick coffee.
So here they were, on the terrace, Seb talking endlessly and Mark looking at him without really comprehending what was being said by the other man. God, he really did miss him.
He was shaken from his musings as for a fleeting moment Sebastian’s hand touched his own, which was outstretched towards the German on the railing. He didn’t even seem to notice as he continued without a pause, but Mark was frozen by the sudden contact. He looked up at Seb’s smiling face, taking it all in: how happy he looked right in that moment, and how different was it from the last couple of years forced cheerfulness and that controlled, bitter anger which was directed mostly at himself, feeling not good enough, feeling like not giving enough, always something there in the way of success.
There is no denying it, he always looked beautiful, there was always some charged electricity that seemed to surround him no matter his mood, but right now, Mark realised, right now he was truly a sight to behold. He could clearly picture him winning those titles like it was yesterday, how wild he was and how free – an untamed and unstoppable force, and god, was he gorgeous.
And with Sebastian looking like that now, out in the open air, with the simmering hope of future victory pouring from his very being, Mark was mesmerized.
“Mark! Are you even listening to me? I was telling you a really engaging story here” There it is. The pout that defeated millions. Mark snorted.
“Of course, mate. Wouldn’t miss the rare occasion of hearing you spinning incredible tales”
Sebastian blinked at him incredulously for a second and then shook his head laughing. Mark’s own mouth twitched upward in a soft smile.
“You are unbelievable” said Seb still grinning, eyes shining with mirth.
“Not the first one to say, and I reckon won’t be the last one either,” Mark smirked as he looked down at his hand on the railing, and then up again at the German’s face. His voice was lacking any humor when he next spoke though “To be fair, it’s really nice to hear that your spirit is back. I missed hearing you go off about everything you encounter. Winning suits you more, mate. I really do hope you will continue that habit of yours for a while”
He heard Seb’s sharp inhale, and he finally looked up. He was looking at Mark with such an open and raw expression that Mark was sure he would do anything for him in that moment. If Sebastian told him to jump over that railing, he would do it in a heartbeat, with no hesitation. God, was he fucked.
Sebastian considered him quietly, digesting the words and their meaning.
“Thank you” his voice was quiet, small. Neither of them were laughing anymore. Sebastian placed his hand on the railing next to Mark’s, like he was trying to anchor himself.
“I mean it” Mark looked around, avoiding eye contact “I never thought I would miss those days, of you winning everything, always being a step ahead of everyone, being the best. It was a bitter pill to swallow at the time. But I know you've always worked hard to achieve those things, to be where you are now. Four-time world champion,”
Mark smiled softly before continuing more seriously “And the last couple of years had been pretty hard on you. Rough times and all that. Which just made it even more clear how strong you truly are, how ambitious, even if a little hot headed. But you deserve those wins. You are made of some really tough stuff, mate”
When Mark finally glanced back at Sebastian, he was the one looking down at the paddock. His face was unreadable from this angle, but when he turned his eyes back to Mark, they were shining with unspoken emotion.
He nodded once, a quick jerk of his head before speaking quietly “I really do try and give my best all the time. But sometimes it just doesn’t work out. This is how it is like in this sport – but that doesn’t mean it hurts any less. It isn’t something you can get used to. When things don’t go your way, it’s... “he was silent for a couple of moments, looking away towards the circuit “…yeah. You know how it goes, I guess”
Mark did know that. But they weren’t here to talk about the past. He tried to think of something to say that could lighten up the derailed mood. He looked down again at the railing, where both of their hands still gripped the metal. Without thinking about it twice, he stretched out his fingers and gently brushed them alongside Sebastian’s smaller ones, only a feather light touch, barely there.
Still, Sebastian jerked his head towards him like he had been slapped, as he too, glanced down where their fingers rested lightly against each other. He looked back up at Mark with a deep frown on his face which suggested that he was thinking hard. That, or he has decided to do something very, very stupid and probably reckless. Mark hoped for the former one.
Sebastian opened his mouth, but for a moment he seemed at a loss for words. Then “You like me? Like that,” this was so typical Sebastian that Mark huffed out a laugh.
“I probably shouldn’t since you are clearly a five years old, but yeah, mate. I do.”
“Hey!” Sebastian’s indignant yelp had Mark rolling his eyes.
“As I said, mate. Five years old” He said, grinning as Seb started to laugh as well.
There was another moment of silence, before the German murmured in a hushed, low voice that almost got lost in the background noise of the paddock.
“I do, too. Like you, as it.”
Mark looked at him, and his heartbeat quickened a bit, making him feel like a teenager all over again. He tried not to sound as giddy as he felt.
“Glad to hear that. It would suck a hell of a lot if that wasn’t the case.” He smiled down at the other man, who looked back at him with a similar expression on his face. Mark had no doubt that they will figure everything out. They made it this far after all.
He squeezed Sebastian’s hand quickly before stepping away from the railing.
“Now get your lazy ass down to that garage, you have a race to win this weekend” he said lightly as he turned towards the door.
He caught Seb shaking his head with a quiet laugh in the reflection of the huge glass windows, before he followed the Australian inside.