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Stealing a glance over his shoulder as he quickly makes his way down the corridor, excitement charges through his spine at the chance of seeing it. Hearing Tom Paris talk of nothing but it for the past few days since leaving the 37's. Now with the chance to see it up close, Paris finally in his quarters for the night, he puts an extra pep in his step. Inputting his command code onto the screen and making sure that it locks after he makes his entrance, the doors to the cargo bay open. Gasping when he finally sees it with his own two eyes, he can't help but think that it was well worth the wait.
Standing at a distance, he simply stares at it in awe. Yes, it's rusted and he'll never be able to start it – let alone drive it – he can't help but feel a buzz of excitement racing through his veins. The 1936 Ford truck has seen better days, but she is a beauty! Taking a few timid steps towards her, he reaches out with shaky fingers, the cool metal just barely under the tips when he hears music coming from the front cab.
Tilting his head side to side to get a better look, the only thing he can see is that someone is sitting in the front driver's seat. As he steps over to the passenger side, the melodic notes of the jazz number becomes louder as he gets closer to the open window. Just as he peeks in, he lets out his baited breath when he sees the last person he would have ever thought would be caught in this automobile. “Captain?”
"Holy shit!" Kathryn literally jumps in fright, her PADD thrown into the air. As she tries to catch it, she misses it by a long shot and ends up pushing against the horn with the heel of her hand and hitting her other wrist on the gear shift.
"I'm sorry," he immediately murmurs under the intensity of her glowering look. “I didn't mean to scare you.”
She rolls her eyes as she reaches down to pick up the PADD. “Yes, well, give a girl some warning before you creep up on her.” Her scowl softens when she lightly adds, “It might just be the last thing you do.”
“In my defense, I thought I was alone in here. It wasn't until I heard your music playing that I knew someone else decided to visit the antique.” Holding his hand out to the door, he asks, “May I join you?”
In the brief moment it takes for her to give him her answer, he can see her brilliant mind whirling. While he would have become annoyed with any other person, he reminds himself with the pinch to his leg that she is worth it. Giving him permission with a silent nod, he thanks his lucky stars for a bit of patience and grabs the door handle.
After a few tries, he finally pulls down on the handle far enough to grant him entrance onto the passenger side. Scooting in and closing the door, the childhood memory of going to an old car museum gleefully replays in his mind. “When I was about ten, my family had come to Earth to celebrate the arrival of my cousin. While there, my mother took me to a museum that was filled with all different types of cars, automobiles, motorcycles, and trucks. I was even able to go inside a large recreational vehicle, which still had a working kitchen! Ever since then, I had wanted to build an automobile all on my own. My father thought it was nonsense and my mother had told me that it would be impossible with the limited supplies at our disposal at home. When I was finally old enough to join the Academy, I dreamed of finally building my own car, but then I became busy with work, projects, and assignments. Eventually, I had given up on that dream.”
“You have a nice truck here to work on,” she offered brightly.
He shakes his head. “Tom Paris has already claimed it and I am willing to concede. If it will keep him out of trouble, even for the next few weeks, then I call that an equal draw.”
“Then what will keep you out of trouble?” Excitement twists its through his belly at the flutter of her eyelashes.
It has been a few months since they had truly flirted with each other. Yes, they sometimes give into their coy behavior on the bridge, but he has noticed that it is mainly for the benefit of those around them. The crew likes to see the command team joking during those off moments when their safety is secure. She makes sure never to take it too far or to not carry on for too long, yet it has its effect when he glances around the bridge to see others laughing under their breath.
No, this flirting, with her double meaning and her quirky smile and the slight slant in her eyes, is the type that she likes to keep hidden away from the others. He likes to think that it is only reserved for him, yet he knows that it's not and he's okay with that. Offering her dimples for days, he coyly quips back, “Dinners with you are always a sure bet, yet, in the long run, I end up getting into more trouble.” Upping their flirting tango up a notch, he leans in so that the tip of his nose is barely a few centimeters from her ear and whispers, “But, I find that it's worth it, regardless.” Noticing goosebumps erupting across her neck, he is then rewarded when she turns to face him. So close, yet, I don't want her to run again. Stealing a few more seconds to stare into her baby blue eyes, he then slowly pulls away to give her back her space.
He can hear her shaky breath, however he gives her sometime to gather herself by exploring the inside of the truck. Coming across a dial, the moment he turns it, the song that was softly playing between them instantly becomes staticky. Turning the dial back, he tries to find the music with no success.
Swatting his hand away, she grabs ahold of the dial and slowly turns it so that the music comes back to life. “I overheard Mr. Paris telling Koana and Tellers that he added a secret data reader so that the radio can play the music from that era for anyone wanting to ‘borrow’ the truck.”
“Borrow the truck?”
“Mmm-hmm,” she turns another dial which turns up the sound of the music. “Already, when I came in earlier, I had caught Jarvin and Monroe in here making out like rowdy teenagers. I told them that they should finish their date back in one of their quarters just in case Tuvok wants to make one of his surprise inspections.”
His brow furrows in thought when her explanation doesn't add up. “But he never does a surprise inspection while he has control of the bridge.”
She gives him a fierce grin as her eyes sparkle in mirth, “You know that and I know that, but they didn't. They all but ran out of here so fast that I kinda felt bad.”
He lifts his brow, catching on to her deviousness, “But not that bad, huh?”
She bites her bottom lip in guilt and quickly answers, “Nope.” Once again allowing them to drown in silence, the soothing jazzy sounds of the music fills the air between them. She stares at the PADD for a few minutes before she mutters under her breath, “Thank you.”
“For what?” Again, wanting to give her the space she needs, he focuses his attention on the time piece that is built into the dash.
“For going with me to the cargo bay when we were at the New Earth colony.” She stares intently at the black screen of her powered down tablet and nervously scratches her nail along the side. “I had thought that… I was afraid… I didn't know what to expect,” she finally settles on with a huff of frustration. Taking a deep breath, she shifts her body so that she is looking at him. “These past few months, you have been incredibly supportive of, not only this ship and its crew, but also of me. It means a lot, especially after learning that the first moment you saw me, you hated me.” Giving him a weak smile, her fingers fiddle along the edge of the screen. “I am still... unsure if I want to... to have something more with you.”
Instead of blurting out the first thing that comes to mind, he centers himself by pressing his toes against the bottom of his boots and straightening his core. He knows, without a doubt, that wanting something for herself is a mental struggle for her and will continue to be so. "I understand."
"I'm not sure if you do." Reaching out, she lays her hand on his knee. “Everyday, I wake up expecting to find Mark next to me and, at the same time, I find myself residing in the fact that I will never see him again. Last time I saw him, I promised him that I would come back to him.” Pressing her lips into a fine line, she looks up, her eyes glossing with unushered tears “I have broken many promises to him over the years, pushed him away numerous times at varying levels of cruelty. Despite all of that, he has always refused to leave my side, to forgive all of my... my transgressions.”
He truly does not think that her refusal to explore what is blossoming between them all lies at the feet of Mark Johnson, but more of a combination of things from her life. “You didn't fuck it up with him.”
She looks at him, her bottom lip trembling. "That's because he didn't allow it."
He places his hand on top of hers, the heat from her palm seeping past his thick uniform. "And what makes you think that I will?"
“I can't drop you off at the nearest federation outpost. I can't ignore you. We... we are vital to getting Voyager back home.” Her breath is shaky as she looks away from him to the ceiling of the antique truck. “I will fuck this up and it tears me apart that I could possibly let down this crew. They deserve more. They deserve to be home. After all that has happened, the Maquis crew deserves their freedom," she looks back at him with wide eyes, "no one more so than you.”
"You deserve more too." He gently squeezes her hand. "At this point, a self-imposed prison of loneliness that you are trying to put on yourself will only hurt the crew."
"I can't expect the crew to pick up the slack every time I-"
"Of course not, but that doesn't mean that you should sequester yourself away whenever you are off duty or are given shore leave. All I am asking is for us to share some time together, to give each other a chance to be ourselves." He holds his breath within his lungs, never daring to move a muscle for fear that the sudden movement will scare her away. He can see the struggle within her and, at times, understands it. The hardest part about doing something new, is letting go of everything else.
“It... it will take me some time. It's hard to know when to be Kathryn when being the Captain is a full-time job.” She twists her wrist around so that their palms are kissing. “Will you give me that time?”
He feels the biggest smile stretching along his cheeks as relief floods through him. “Of course.” He laces his fingers through her. “But I won't give you forever. I refuse to. You deserve more and it's high time you start believing in it.” He can feel her hesitancy radiating off of her. “My mother used to tell me when she thought that I was rushing around that it's not about the destination, but the experiences and the friendships you gain in the journey.”
She returns his smile and nods her head, “My father used to say the same thing to me.” She gives his hand a small squeeze before she pulls away. “However, I have a feeling he was talking about taking on too much workload at the Academy.” She reaches out and turns one of the dials so that the volume of the music is lower. “I've got to get going. I'm going to leave you with B'Elanna's engineering report. It's a doozy.”
He bows his head and takes the PADD from her offered hand. “Have a good evening,” he stops, unsure of which term to use. Personal or professional? ‘Always go for what you want to accomplish,’ was another saying from his mother. “Good night, Kathryn.”
“Good night, Chakotay.” Opening the door, she slips out and leaves the cargo bay without a glance back.