Work Text:
Title: Betrayal
Author: deepforestowl
Rating: PG
Pairings: AR with Lee angst
Episode: up through and including end of season three and Razor
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, please don't sue!
Summary: Thoughts from AR and Lee about the end of the trial.
Notes: Not an easy one to write. This is a fic for [info]redoren for AR Secret Santa who wanted AR with Lee angst. I started out wanting to write smut, especially since it was supposed to be an AU universe and well, I just couldn't. Lee in particular was screaming at me, so here we have it. A far more serious piece than I had intended. My apologies.
Lee
When he had revealed her cancer, he hadn't even given nary a whisper of a thought as to why she was drinking chamalla tea again. He just presumed, as most people probably did, that she was taking it for the visions, because she was a junkie. He had never thought to consider that perhaps she was taking it because her cancer had returned. Now, as the court erupted in pandemonium over the acquittal of Baltar, Lee glanced towards President Roslin. He watched her leave the court room and when she looked back at him, the look in her eye said everything that he needed to know. He saw her anger and her hurt, but most importantly, he saw her betrayal. He also saw that it would never be forgiven or forgotten. He knew, in that moment, that he would never again have her kind regard and affection. As klaxons screamed around him, lost in thought, lost in heart, he knew that there was nothing left to do but die. He had betrayed his father by defending Baltar to the degree that he had and now his President by revealing her cancer. The pain of their disapproval and hurt cut more deeply than any knife. His place was in a viper, even if he had never wanted to be a viper pilot, even if he was no longer one. He ran to his quarters, grabbed his gear and ran to his destiny. With no other choice left to him, he launched out of the tube on Galactica knowing that this would be his end.
Laura
She knew that she would have to tell the fleet of her cancer someday, but Gods, why today of all days? Why did Lee have to do this? Why didn't he ask her in private? In that moment, when he asked the question, she said goodbye to the Lee that had been her almost son, the boy-man who she had cherished with great affection. In that moment, she became nothing more than the President to him. Bill, bless him, had tried to protect her and for that she was grateful. When the trial was over and Baltar had won, she looked at Lee as she was leaving the courtroom and in that moment, he knew that he would never be forgiven. In that moment, she made sure he knew that he was now expendable to her. And Bill, voting for Baltar's acquittal, that burned like the worst of betrayals, but he soothed it over. He took her blame, he rationalized his decision, and the worst thing, the worst thing was that he was right. The prosecutor had not made her case and the defense had. Damn Lampkin and Lee both for being right. But Bill, oh Bill, here in this moment before the jump, she did not forgive him, but she understood him. In this moment, she understood that after Lee's argument, there was no other decision that Bill could have made and Laura respected Bill for it, even if she hated the decision itself. Bill's honor, his sense of what was right, that she could love and despise at the same time and so here she was, a jump away from another turn on the path, and she still loved Bill Adama.
Bill
When his name had been called to sit on the tribunal, inwardly he had both cringed and rejoiced. This was not something that he wanted to go through, but he loved Laura and he believed in her, and for her, he would see it through. Lee and his sense of honor had led to a break between them and though Bill couldn't understand why Lee would defend scum like Baltar, he had to admire that Lee was doing it, even though it was costing Lee everything: his wife Dee, his commission, Bill's affection, Laura's trust. After what Lee pulled in the courtroom with Laura, Bill wasn't sure that he could ever forgive his son, no matter how much he loved Lee. There comes a time in a man's life when he has to choose, between love and blood, especially when the blood betrays the love. That is a hard day indeed. Lee's impassioned speech was brilliant and true and Bill hated Lee for it. Bill also understood it. When Bill had given Lee the keys to Pegasus, he had told him that Bill hadn't made the decisions that Cain had made because Lee and Laura had been there, holding back his hand. In Bill's heart, he knew that if both of them had not been there, he would have made very different decisions; decisions that would have been tragically similar to Cain's. Here Lee was again, being his conscious, reminding him that you can't run from the things you've done, nor can you blame others for them either. Put that way, there was no other way to vote but for acquittal. Laura might hate him for it, but he knew it was the right decision. It was a decision that wouldn't eat away at his heart and his soul. In those moments before the jump, he saw that she understood that, even though she was infuriated with him. He was still angry at Lee and he didn't know if that relationship could be repaired, but he loved Laura and she loved him and if they could survive this, they could welcome Lee back into their hearts. As his vipers launched from the belly of Galactica and Lee identified himself, Bill knew that Lee had lost hope, that he was going out there to die, an orphan. Bill only hoped that Lee could forgive them and that Lee would come home alive.