Chapter Text
uu: KARKAT.
uu: KARKAT?
uu: DO You MIND IF I CALL YOu KARKAT?
uu: I DO SO WISH TO CALL YOu KARKAT.
uu: IS THAT ALRIGHT, KARKAT?
uu: IS THAT WHY YOu’RE NOT RESPONDING TO ME, KARKAT?
uu: WHAT SHOuLD I CALL YOu THEN, KARKAT?
uu: DO YOu WISH TO BE REFERRED TO AS MR. VANTAS, KARKAT?
uu: BECAuSE THAT’S RuDE KARKAT.
uu: TELL ME, KARKAT. WHAT SORT OF RuDE PERSON ONLY REFERS TO ANYONE SOLELY BY THEIR LAST NAME?
Karkat groaned.
uu: KARKAT.
uu: I KNOW YOu’RE AWAKE, KARKAT.
uu: YES.
uu: RAISE YOuR FINGER OF DEPRAVED JuSTICE!
uu: KEEP DOING THAT, KARKAT.
uu: I COMMAND IT.
uu: IT IS SO
uu: OBSCENE.
Karkat groaned again. It was not going away. It was not going to let Karkat sleep. On the bright side, it didn’t seem like it was going to kill him either. He briefly contemplated pretending he was still asleep, but that line of thought was already useless for having flipped the thing off. Groaning once again, he reached and pulled himself up so that his head broke the surface of his sopor slime.
CG: WHAT DO YOU WANT?
The thing in his respiteblock is about the size of an adult troll, but it certainly isn’t one, with its green skin and skull like but hornless head. Cherry red spirals circle on his(it look’s like a his, with broad shoulders and a defined chest over which a black t-shirt is strecthed) cheeks, and his eyes are pitch black, though they occasionally spark into a random color. Of course, your attention is drawn to his fangs, one of which has been replaced with a gold version.
uu: OH, YOU ARE AWAKE.
uu: THAT IS GOOD.
uu: SO VERY GOOD.
uu: I WAS STARTING TO THINK I WAS TALKING TO MYSELF.
uu: WHAT DO I WANT, KARKAT?
He leans forward, staring directly into Karkat’s eyes, a maliscious grin on his face.
uu: I WANT TO PLAY A GAME.
In that moment, Karkat knew he was going to die. Some creature of the day had gotten into his hive, was going to kill him in some horrible and convoluted fashion, and then do unspeakable things with his body. There was no other way for this to play out.
uu: OH, NOT WITH YOu.
Except, apparently, that way. Karkat's fear must have shown to the creature.
uu: YOu ARE MERELY A PAWN.
uu: PLAYING WITH YOu WouLD BE A
uu: FuCKING WASTE
uu: OF A SET uP BOARD.
UU: brother dearest, please do refrain from attempting to frighten oUr host.
uu: ATTEMPT?
uu: AS IF I COuLD DO ANYTHING SAVE SuCCEED.
Karkat turned at the new voice, seeing another of the creatures standing in the corner of his respiteblock. It was taller and more slender, and the cherry red spirals were instead lime green. It also still had all of its original fangs, and was almost definitely female, though it seemed much harder to tell through the dark green coat it sported.
UU: mister vantas, please excUse my brother's
UU: improprieties.
UU: yoU are in no danger.
UU: he wants to play a game with me.
uu: DON'T FLATTER YOuRSELF.
UU: tell me i'm wrong.
CG: WHAT DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ME? WHAT DO YOU FUCKERS WANT?
That...that was real smooth. A+, 10/10. Game over, delete save file.
uu: AS ELEGANT AS FuCKING EVER.
uu: I CAN SEE WHY HE IS YOUR FAVOuRITE.
The taller one smiled, a truly disturbing sight in and of itself.
UU: oh, brother mine.
UU: given time, he coUld, woUld, and will overcome yoUr taint.
UU: not simply in himself, but also in others.
UU: i admire him for his pUrity of character, not the elegance of his words.
CG: WILL YOU ASSHOLES STOP IGNORING ME!?
uu: OH YES.
uu: OBVIOuSLY A BASTION OF CALM STANDS BEFORE uS.
The muscular one started laughing and the slender one may have rolled her eyes, though it's hard to tell when they're entirely black.
UU: ignore him.
UU: we are gUests in yoUr home
UU: yet we have not been acting as sUch.
UU: my brother
uu: I'M NOT YOuR BROTHER.
She winks at Karkat, a decidedly mischeivious grin forming.
UU: my brother
UU: wants to play a game with me.
UU: in all honesty, however, we cannot play directly against each other.
UU: the last time that happened
UU: an entire galaxy was destroyed.
uu: STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS SO TERRIBLE ABOuT THAT.
uu: THE SHRIEKS OF TERROR WERE ABSOLuTELY DELICIOuS.
UU: perhaps
UU: but yoU know my rUles.
UU: if yoU want to play a game with me
UU: it has to be done through pawns.
CG: YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY FUCKING QUESTION.
UU: of coUrse I have not.
UU: bUt i am getting to it, mister vantas.
She takes a long look at Karkat's head peeking out of his recuperacoon.
UU: thoUgh sUrely, yoU woUld rather take this conversation somewhere yoU coUld be more comfortable.
CG: UH, YEAH. THAT SOUNDS GOOD.
CG: CAN I GET SOME PRIVACY?
uu: DO YOu THINK YOu HAVE ANYTHING WE HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE?
CG: THAT'S NOT AS COMFORTING AS YOU MIGHT THINK IT SOUNDS.
uu: IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE COMFORTING.
uu: FACTS RARELY ARE.
Karkat levels a glare at the frighteningly well muscled creature, because if it hadn't killed him yet, it probably wasn't going to for being looked at.
uu: FINE.
He grunts and throws his arms in the air as he storms out of the room.
UU: i apologize for my brother
uu: I'M NOT YOuR BROTHER!
UU: he is somewhat
UU: incorrigible.
She saunters out of the room herself.
UU: wear something yoU do not mind losing.
UU: i doUbt yoU will want to wear it again after tonight.
Karkat waited for the door to shut before he pulled himself out of the recuperacoon. It was tempting to go back to sleep and make the creatures wait, but a quick glance out the window showed that it was nearly dusk. His night was going to start soon anyway, might as well be now. Therefore, he climbed out of the sopor slime and grabbed the towel he had set up the night before to wipe all the excess slime off his body. Cleaned up, he started a search for old clothing, anything that hadn't been made by Kanaya. Whether or not he actually trusted the words of either creature, blindly(or spitefully) ignoring their warnings just seemed a very foolish idea. Settling on an old, faded sweater without his sign, and a pair of pants that had been ripped on his last market excursion, he stepped out of his respiteblock.
The first thing Karkat sees is the muscular one bouncing up and down on his couch.
uu: IT IS SO BOuNCY.
UU: if yoU woUld stop that
UU: it woUld seem oUr host is ready to receive Us.
The slender one is standing just a few steps away from him, and turns his way after admonishing her counterpart.
UU: oh good.
UU: yoU followed my advice.
CG: YEAH YEAH, WHATEVER.
CG: NOW CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU FUCKHOLES WANT WITH ME?
UU: absolUtely.
UU: are yoU ready to learn some magic?
CG: MAGIC ISN'T REAL.
She's finished turning and he sees that she is holding a classic revolver. Mostly because she has leveled it directly at his forehead.
UU: maybe do not say that Until after i have cast my spell.
And she pulls the trigger.