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"This party kinda sucks, huh?"
"You think every party sucks," Lardo replies. Dex makes a sour face.
"Well like, especially. I feel like our parties have gotten kind of lame since you and Ransom and Holster left."
"No. They're the same, you just have less people to cling on to."
"That's kind of harsh," Dex says, hitting Lardo in the arm.
"Sorry,” Lardo replies dryly, passing him the joint.
He takes it and tries to blow smoke rings. He sucks at it. Lardo stares at him.
"You should make more friends," she says after he notices her staring.
"Yeah, I know," he sighs, thinking of Lardo, who's busy with Shitty and her new internship, Chowder, who's busy with Farmer, and his nerd friends, who are all parts of friend groups that he's not in. But he's been so tired, he's barely doing anything besides eat-school-hockey-sleep.
Lardo nods, then takes the joint back.
"Do you think I should go abroad next semester?"
"Where would you go?"
"I don't know."
"It's too late to apply for next semester, I think. You could apply for next year or summer session."
Will hums. He wouldn't go if things got better at school. And he has to work during the summer.
Derek is spiraling. He's watching Dex tap his pen against the library table. Derek has been watching him out of the corner of his eye for about 65% of the time they’ve been studying together, so much that his eyes actually feel strained. He's noticing everything, everything a friend doesn't notice. His strange, light eyes. The freckles across his nose. The way his shirt is a bit too tight across his chest How he can see the muscles moving in his forearms. How his fingers are long but thick and his hands are wider than Derek's. He feels like his heart is being stepped on. He's letting himself get caught up again, like his head is being crushed under waves.
"Hey, Dex, can you help me on this one?" Derek asks, having skipped ahead a couple problems to pretend he’d made progress.
Dex looks up at him after a moment, then scooches over to Derek’s side of the table. Derek tries not to hold his breath as Dex leans in closer to him.
"I think all you did was mix up these two values. You wouldn’t have if you could just keep your notes straight."
"Straight? I don't think I can do that," Derek says, with a grin that he hopes doesn't look as forced as it feels.
Dex looks him in the eyes, sighs, and goes to back to his work. Derek thinks about the impossibility between them. He thinks about why, if he’s just infatuated with Dex, why it’s gone on so long. Derek turns back to his homework and tries not to think anymore.
If Will doesn't get at least a B+ on his Physics exam, he'll get a C in the class. And he shouldn't get a B because he had an A in his sophomore year physics class. So that's why he's speed walking through the library to find a free table.
Will passes Nursey and Chowder asleep on a library couch, Nursey's arm wrapped around Chowder. He doesn't stop, but his thoughts sidetrack. He wonders why he's never touchy like that with them. It looks nice. He wonders what they're doing without him. They're supposed to be a trio right? He feels dumb for thinking that. He hangs out with both Nursey and Chowder separately, he can't get jealous when they do the same.
He finds a table and thinks about physics.
Derek half opens his eyes when Dex walks past. He doesn't know why he woke up right when Dex came. He sees Dex look at him and Chowder. Dex looks like he wants something, so Derek thinks he might stop. But he keeps going, so Derek sort of wishes he hadn't woken up at all.
That's not really true, though. Derek is practically addicted to looking at Dex and it's twice as good when he can look uninhibited.
He closes his eyes again and pulls Chowder in closer. He wonders what it'd be like if he could bring himself to touch Dex like this. Even though he's a really physical guy, he hardly ever touches Dex. It was never really something he thought about. Dex just seemed sort of untouchable.
Will wakes up to a hard slap on the wooden floor. He sits up, startled, to see Nursey gently placing a textbook back on his desk. Nursey’s using his phone flashlight, and he can barely see his face.
“Dex, I’m so sorry I woke you up,” he whispers.
“It’s’okay,” Will mumbles, and then turns over.
“I’m really sorry,” Nursey says. Will doesn’t respond.
The light goes out and he hears Nursey getting into bed. He wonders why Nursey was out so late.
Will thinks he might regret rooming with him, not because he really hates him or anything. Even though he really did hate him freshmen year. His mind was sort of changed when it was clear that Nursey was fine with rooming with him and that he didn’t think he was a bigot anymore or whatever and they didn’t have those big, obnoxious fights anymore. And he kind of realized he had some weird prejudices that he’s ultimately glad Nursey challenged. Since those were mostly like self-hating anyway (although Nursey is (was?) too sure of himself for his own good).
But he regrets rooming with him because their relationship changed. It seemed like Nursey was trying not to be clingy or something. Like if he even got a whiff that Dex’s other friends wanted to hang out with him, he’d basically insist that he’d leave the room. They’ve roomed for nearly a semester but he doesn’t know Nursey any better, and he kind of thought that he would. He thinks Nursey was doing it so that he didn’t lose touch with other people, but Will didn’t really need the help. Although, Nursey pushing him out did help him stay in touch with his old roommate that he doesn’t have classes with. So they're still fairly close friends, but he still misses late night roommate conversations they used to have. He can’t even picture having them with Nursey, mainly because Nursey always acts like Dex is going to shoot him if he speaks past midnight. He knows that Nursey is trying to considerate, but Will ended up feeling slightly out of place with both his non-Haus and his Haus friends.
He can’t really blame Nursey for that though. Will has felt slightly out of place since seventh grade.
Will wakes up again to the sound of someone putting something on his desk. The first thing he sees is Nursey, again.
Nursey grimaces, setting down a coffee, “Sorry I woke you up again.”
Will checks his phone. “It’s fine, my alarm is in five minutes anyway.”
Nursey smiles at him and then walks back over to his side of the room.
“Hey,” Will says, surprising himself a little, “Why were you out so late?”
Nursey doesn’t look over for a second.
“Um, my friend, Katia, kind of had an emergency,” he says when he turns towards Will. Will really looks at, because of the tone of what he said. His eyes look sort of swollen, like he might have been crying or like he hadn’t slept at all.
“Katia, I remember her,” Will says, even though his image of her is fuzzy, “Is she okay?”
“Her mom died. Cancer.”
“Oh, Jesus, that’s awful."
“Yeah. I’m actually going to go back over to her dorm now, to make sure she’s ready to go to the airport.”
“Okay,” Will nods. Nursey gives him a tired half smile and turns around to walk out the door.
“Wait, uh, you’re not going to discussion section then?”
Derek turns back towards him.
“Don’t go, I’ll sign you in. Even if you get back in time, you should sleep,” Will says quickly. It's the one class they share, that Nursey had told Will he should take with him, since it was supposed to be an easy advanced comp class. It was Philosophy 100. He thinks Nursey had actually told him to take it because he wanted someone to discuss the ideas with, although they hadn't ever done that so far.
Nursey gives him a slightly less depressing smile. “Thanks,” he says, pulling open the door.
Will sits on his bed for a moment. He regrets that when he met Katia in freshman year, he thought she had too many piercings. He pulls out his phone to text his mom.
Derek lays down under the stars and wonders if their alignments should mean anything to him.
“When the stars align,” he whispers to himself.
“What?” Chowder asks him.
“Huh? Nothing.”
Chowder raises an eyebrow at him and then checks his watch.
“I think the meteor shower should start in two more minutes.”
“Thank God,” Farmer says, her teeth chattering.
Chowder pulls her in closer and looks down to double check if the blanket is covering her toes.
Derek laughs. “Yeah, maybe you could just do your astronomy assignment with videos like everybody else when it’s freaking November.”
“Whatever, Derek, you’re here too.”
“Caitlin, I am only here to make sure you two don’t get nasty on my blanket.”
Chowder hits him, repeatedly, all three of them laughing.
Derek opens his eyes that had been shut with laughter and sees a shooting star. “Look!” He says, pointing up.
They quiet down and their eyes widen. When the first meteor fades out, another two streak across the sky. Derek watches the stars, feeling so close to the whole universe that his existence begins to lose it edges.
Then Chowder asks Farmer if she’s making any wishes, and Derek remembers his body. His body, which is sore from longing. Sore from the feeling that he’s missing something, and, looking over at Chowder and Farmer, knowing what that something could be.
He tries not to wish for anything, but he does.
“You fucking—agh! I hate you!” Nursey says, shoving his shoulder into Will’s.
Will laughs maniacally as he hits Nursey with another blue shell and speeds into first place at the last second. Chowder gives him a respectful fist bump as Nursey drops his controller on the ground and yells about the cruel world.
“Are you done, Nurse?” Lardo asks, already sliding off the couch.
“I suppose,” he sighs dramatically.
“Yeah, he’s done,” Will grins.
“Bro. I’m gonna tickle you,” Nursey says with an even bigger grin.
“Fuck!” Will yells, scrambling backwards against the wall. Everyone in the room turns towards them.
“Billy is mad ticklish. His mom told me.”
“That’s not true! It’s not true,” Will says, clutching his legs to his body.
“William. You know you’re making this worse, right? Come on. Now we have to tickle you,” Lardo says, clawing her hands. “Hold ‘em down, boys.”
Nursey, Tango, and Holster all rush over to pin Will down, all of them screaming. Nursey and the frog both grab an arm, while Tango sits on his legs backwards and holding down his legs. It’s alarmingly efficient. Lardo and Chowder grab at Dex’s stomach and tickle him until an inch of his life. They only let go when he actually starts crying.
He just lays on the ground when they let go of him, wiping the tears out of his eyes. Nursey pats his shoulder.
“Sorry, Billy. I just couldn’t keep that one to myself.”
Will rolls over and punches Nursey in the stomach.
“Dex, shut up, I’m trying to fucking explain it to you.”
“No, you shut up. I know what happened. I’m not fucking stupid.”
“I didn’t even say that to him!”
“Oh, so Matt’s fucking lying?” Dex shifts his tone, not yelling anymore but his face so red and his voice so strained that Derek is scared he might be about to get the shit beaten out of him.
“No, I mean, he just took it the wrong way. I wasn’t trying to make fun of him.”
“You never fucking changed, Nurse,” Dex says, with the driest laugh. “I can’t fucking stand you,” Dex mutters, at the same time their door slams shut.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Derek whispers. He slams his chair into his desk. He kicks his bed post. He feels like a fucking kid. He drops into his bed and pulls the covers over his head.
Never fucking changed. Can’t stand you. Never fucking changed. Can’t stand you.
He pulls the blankets tighter when he feels like he can’t breathe anymore.
“Fuck, Will, you really got into that big of a fight with him?”
“Yeah, I don’t wanna talk about it. Can I sleep over though?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course dude,” Matt says, moving back to let Will inside his dorm room.
“Hey, Will,” Jackson, Matt’s roommate says when Will comes in. “Vidja?”
“Yup,” Will replies.
Two hours later, there’s a knock on the door.
Matt gets up to open it, pausing the screen. Will rubs at his eyes. It might just be because he’s stared at the TV for so long, but he suddenly feels like crying.
“Hey, Matt,” Nursey says, still standing outside the door.
“Derek,” Matt nods, then looks at Will with big eyes. Will shrugs exaggeratedly, mouthing the words “I don’t know.”
Nursey sucks in a breath. “I’m really sorry about what I said. I don’t actually think you’re evil or an idiot for your opinions. I was seriously just being a dick and out of line. If I wanted to discuss, I should’ve done it in a way were I wasn’t being such…Christ. I’m sorry and I won’t do it again.”
“I overreacted too, Derek. No, I’m serious. And I’m sorry I told Will and honestly, how I told what you said was unfair,” Matt says, glancing inside. “I’m sorry too.”
“No need to apologize. No hard feelings?”
And then they’re hugging. Like a quick bro “no hard feelings” hug, Will guesses, but still.
The door closes.
“You still want to stay the night, Will?”
“Yeah,” Will says, because he doesn’t want to get on another emotional roller coaster tonight. He needs time to think. Besides, he said so much shit to Nursey.
“Alright. But Derek’s really not that bad of a guy. Thanks for standing up for me and everything, but still. He’s not, like, the worst. It was half my fault.” Will doesn’t reply so Matt sits down. Jackson pats him on the shoulder, then unpauses the game. Fuck, what did he say to Nursey? He remembers what he said when he left. You never fucking changed. I can’t fucking stand you.
Shit.
Derek had gone to apologize to Dex’s friend. That’s pretty much all he could think of to do, after a couple hours of rolling around in bed.
It’s not enough.
Derek goes to classes the next morning. He can’t think of anything but Dex. But if he’s being honest, the feeling isn’t totally unfamiliar. It’s for a variety of reasons, but pretty much the same ones. He thinks about how well they work together, how he gets pretty much the same feeling he gets as winning a game as when Dex smiles at him. He thinks about the way Dex looks when he’s focused. He thinks about how generous Dex is, how he’s willing to spend hours helping someone else. He thinks about his freckles, his thighs, his shoulders, his fucking eyes. He’s dreamt of Dex’s eyes. Dreamt of worse too.
He knows he’s obsessed with Dex, but it’s usually something that doesn’t exactly feel real, or so urgent. This feels real. He feels like when you’re aware of your heart beating too hard, pounding in your throat, your ears, like it might actually pound out of your body.
He texts Katia during class and nearly runs out when the professor lets them go.
When he gets to her apartment, he melts into her arms. He doesn’t say anything as she leads him back to her couch. He curls up on her lap and she runs her fingers through his hair.
He lets out a sigh when he finally feels his heart slow down.
“Is this working or should we try something different?” Katia asks gently. Derek heart warms. They had had a discussion months ago about how they liked to be comforted. He’s so happy he has a friend he doesn’t have to hold back anything with. He feels like when he’s with her is one of the very few times he can be completely himself.
Derek laughs. “Nah, this is great.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m being dramatic.”
“Der.”
“It’s Dex. We got in an argument because I—said some stupid shit to his friend. And he got mad at me and we both…I don’t know but he…shit.” He sucks in a breath. “He said he couldn’t stand me and that I never changed. And then he just left,” he finally forces out.
“Derek, Derek, baby, I’m so sorry. Dex shouldn’t have—“
“No, he was fucking right. I haven’t changed. I’m so fucking obnoxious and I can’t…I can’t fucking get it right. I’ll never—“ get it right with Dex, he finishes in his head.
“I’m sorry, Derek. I don’t know. But Derek, c’mon. I know you like him and everything but you’re letting this get to your head. You can’t pin your self-worth onto him.”
“I know. I know, it’s just, I mean he’s my fucking roommate. And looking at him is driving me insane. My life fucking sucks.”
“Mm, now you’re being dramatic,” she says, tapping his nose. He sticks out his tongue.
“Can we watch a movie?”
Katia laughs, “What movie?”
“Do you still have She’s the Man?” She nods.
“Do you want me to make Amanda Bynes movies part of your comfort plan?”
“Yeah.”
Dex comes back the next night, right after class. Derek can’t do anything but stare. Their eyes lock. Dex has that look on his face, like he wants to say something.
Derek opens his mouth and nothing comes out for nearly ten seconds. “I’m sorry,” he finally croaks out.
“It’s okay,” Dex says, looking down and away from Derek and moving into his side of the room.
Derek looks back down at his book and pretends he doesn’t feel like he’s about to throw up. But it’s okay. He’s back. I can’t fucking stand you. Did he mean it? He’s not requesting a room change, it doesn’t seem like. He said it’s okay. Thank God he’s back.
Dex came last to team breakfast, sitting in the seat next to Derek. They haven’t actually talked since their argument, nearly a week ago. Derek’s about to squirm out of his skin.
He’s so wound up that he jumps when Dex leans in, trying to grab the salt. The team members sitting next to them look over, Whiskey, Lardo, and Chowder.
Dex waits for them to look away and then he leans in, “Did you just think that I was going to hit you?”
“No, I just…”
Dex sighs. “We need to talk.”
Derek actually gulps.
The team goes to morning practice together. Derek tries to get his heart to stop beating in his ears for the whole practice. He unlaces his skates, slower than usual. He knows nearly everyone else has already hit the showers by the sound of the door.
When he looks up, it’s only Dex.
He holds his breath and looks back down at the ground as Dex starts talking.
“Nurse--Derek. I’m sorry for yelling at you. And I shouldn’t have said that shit, I didn’t…I didn’t fucking mean it. I shouldn’t have taken sides, should’ve listened to you. I don’t want us…I still want to be friends. So, I hope we still can be.”
Derek stands up. Dex comes closer, not even seeming like he means to. Derek reaches out and grabs Dex’s arm, and pulls him in.
Derek is sort of pissed, because Dex has really been holding out. This hug is amazing.
When they break apart, Derek says quickly and quietly, “I missed you.”
He surprised himself by saying it, but Dex’s reaction surprised him even more.
Will really doesn’t know why he starts crying. He’s nearly always able to wait until he’s alone.
Nursey looks at him wide-eyed. Will covers his face with his hand.
“Dex, are you cry—are you okay?”
Will laughs. He uncovers his eyes to see Nursey’s face twisted between confusion, worry, and surprise. He was also waving his hands in the air, unsure whether he should touch Will or not.
“I’m probably not that okay,” Will says, smiling even as tears leak out of his eyes. He knows he can’t hide it anymore. He feels relieved. Nursey looks him in the eyes, searchingly.
“Do you wanna go back to our room?”
“Yeah.”
They leave Faber together, Nursey occasionally brushing Will’s side. He can feel Nursey’s nervous energy all the way to the Haus, especially when he awkwardly opens the door for Dex. Dex giggles. Nursey almost trips over his feet.
When they get to their room, Nursey sits down on his bunk. Dex sits down next to him. After a moment, he lays down, his feet still on the floor. Nursey slowly lays down next to him.
They sit there for a moment.
“Dex—“ Nursey starts.
Will cuts him off with a sigh. “Nah, nah, I need to talk. I just…fuck…I have to say some things. God. There’s so much you say in your head, you know? But you never say out loud.”
“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Nursey whispers.
“Fuck,” Will says, drawing out the word. “Okay. I guess the reason I was crying is that I feel so alone sometimes. Most of the time. I’m, like, the odd man out in everything. I don’t fit in, like anywhere. I guess actually, the most I feel like I fit in is with you and Chowder. And like with other people on the team, like individually. But I feel like when it’s with groups of them, everybody else fits in better.
“And I don’t, you know, bring anything to the table. Like, everybody’s fucking,” he laughs, “hotter than me and smarter and funnier and like everybody’s fucking going somewhere. And I feel like I’m not going anywhere. My grades are slipping and it just feels like—it feels like it’s never going to get easier.”
Will lets out a long breath.
Nursey sits up suddenly. He grabs at Will’s sides, pulling him up off the bed and into his arms. Will lets him, resting his head on Nursey’s shoulder.
Will laughs again. “I wasn’t done.”
Nursey mumbles something into Will’s shoulder.
“Okay, okay, I’ll probably start to cry again so I’m just going to say it. I also feel like I don’t fit in with my other friends cus I’m scared to tell them I’m bi,” he feels Nursey stiffen against him but he keeps talking. “Fuck, it’s so stupid. I think if I was gay, I wouldn’t have such a hard time with it. But I don’t know how they’ll react, what they’ll say. I think it won’t make sense to them. And I kept meaning to tell you guys, like I knew for so long but I just couldn’t ever say it. I kinda…kinda thought I could get over it. I knew you guys would have my back for me, but like I kept imagining everyone I know knowing and I’d freak.”
He lets himself stop talking, even though he feels like he has to explain more.
Nursey takes his head off Will’s shoulder and looks him in the eyes again. Will feels like he’s looked Nursey in the eye for longer today than in the years they’ve known each other combined.
“Will, Will…I’m really sorry. I’m so sorry. Will, you—you don’t see what I see. Will, you’re one of the best people I’ve ever met. No, don’t look at me like that,” Nursey says, bringing up his hand to smooth the line that creased Will’s forehead.
“I think you’re really fucking smart and funny. I actually love your jokes, y’know? Sometimes I’ll remember jokes you made, like days later, and I’ll laugh out loud. And you’re so fucking kind and generous and like, good at things. You’re wrong about yourself, Dex. Dex, Will, c’mon. And you know what? You are hot,” Nursey says, grinning and poking at Will’s face. Will laughs and slaps away his hands.
Scrunching up his face makes the tears sitting in his eyes come out but he’s not crying anymore. When his eyes are closed, Nursey gently cups his face and wipes his tears off his cheeks. Will leans into his hand without thinking about it. He opens his eyes, again locking into Nursey’s gaze. He smiles softly, seeing how seriously Nursey is looking at him. He feels safe.
“And hey, about you being bi? Fuck everybody else, we’ll have your back. You can keep it secret, you can come out to a few people, you can come out. And it might take time, but people are usually better about it than you’d think.” He pauses. “Are you worried about your parents?”
“If my dad was still around, yeah, maybe. But he’s not and I think everybody else will be, you know, at least good at pretending that they’re okay with it. I think my sisters and Mom will definitely be okay with it.”
“That’s really good. That’s good, Dex,” Nursey says, smiling softly at him. Nursey’s hands are still cupping Will’s face. Will sort of feels like he should reciprocate. He shifts his position slightly, seeing his room. He glances his clock.
“Fuck! I have class right now,” Will says, jumping out of bed. He starts pulling off his practice clothes. He’s standing in boxers and a half-buttoned flannel when he glances Nursey’s face in the mirror on his door. Nursey is staring at him. He’s staring at him with a look that he associates with Chowder and Farmer, Shitty and Lardo, Jack and Bitty. Like Will’s grandma and grandpa. Nursey is looking at him like he cares about him more than anything else and Will can physically feel it. He finishes getting dressed. He grabs his backpack and turns to Nursey. Nursey looks him in the eyes again, soft and open.
“Okay, I’m, uh, gonna go to class. See you at lunch?”
Nursey nods.
Dex hurries out the door. He touches his fingers to his face, feeling the warmth coming off of his cheeks.
He thinks about the green in Nursey’s eyes.
Derek doesn’t see Will when he comes into the cafeteria. He feels like talking to Katia, but she’s not there either. He spots Tango and Whiskey.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” Derek says, sliding into the chair next to Tango.
“Hi, Nursey,” Tango smiles at him. Whiskey nods.
“We were talking about going to see a movie this weekend. I’m thinking Wonder Woman? Do you wanna come? Did somebody just kick me?”
Derek looks over at Whiskey. Whiskey raises an eyebrow at him. Nursey almost laughs.
“Mm, yeah it was really good. You should definitely go and see it,” Derek says, then winks at Whiskey. Whiskey kicks him. Derek kicks back. Whiskey glares at him.
“Do you guys like Wonder Woman or Bat Girl more?” Derek asks, to get Tango started.
Tango’s face brightens and Derek opens up his phone. He opens up random apps, trying to decide if he should text Dex or not.
Whiskey nudges him with his foot. He looks up to see that Tango must’ve gotten up for something, and it’s just them.
“You waiting for someone?”
“Yeah. Sort of.” God, Whiskey’s eyes are so heavy. “Dex,” Derek says finally, feeling pressured to by Whiskey’s gaze. Whiskey nods again.
“Did you actually already see Wonder Woman?”
“Didn’t it come out, like two days ago?”
“I don’t know. You’re the kinda guy who would do that nerd shit.”
“Shut up, no—whatever. I did want to but I was busy. Why do you ask?”
Whiskey rubs the back of his neck. “Uh, do you wanna go with me and Tango, like you and Dex? Double date sort of thing.”
“Whisk, man, me and Dex aren’t dating. Are you and Tango even dating? I hadn’t heard that.”
“Well. Like, maybe they don’t know it’s a double date? But it is one?”
Derek laughs. “Yeah, yeah, sure. I’ll ask Dex. But I don’t wanna see you acting lame, so you better bring some moves.”
“Fuck off, Nurse,” Whiskey says, grinning. He smiles at Tango when he comes back, a real smile with teeth. Whiskey has really nice teeth, Derek had noticed. It appeared that Tango was noticing that too, or something like it, by the way his eyes clearly widened.
Derek’s phone buzzes on the table. His heart leaps into his throat as he grabs it.
DEX 11:43 AM
Hey, sorry, not going to make lunch. Talking with C, you wanna come over?
If you haven’t eaten yet, he has ramen.
“Fast reflexes, huh?” Whiskey comments dryly.
“I know. That’s what makes me good at hockey,” Derek replies, trying to pretend he isn’t embarrassed. It shouldn’t be hard, it’s Tango and Whiskey, for God’s sake. The most awkward not-couple in SMH history, unless that title went to him and Dex. He moves past that thought quickly, and texts back “Okay”.
“Alright, see you guys later,” Derek says, grabbing his half-full tray and his bag.
“Okay, bye, Nursey!”
“Have fun with Dex.”
Derek ignores Whiskey, but smiles when he hears, “How do you know he’s hanging out with Dex?”
“Bro, just lemme get the popcorn. Christ, it’s like a guy wants to buy something for his two best friends and it’s the end of the fucking world,” Nursey says, shoving Will.
Will rolls his eyes.
“Just let him do it. It makes him feel good about himself,” Whiskey stage-whispers to Will. Nursey shoves him too.
“Can you guys just hurry up? We’ve been waiting for, like, seven minutes for you to fuckin’ decide who’s going to buy your popcorn.”
“Whiskey, it’s kind of an important decision. Movie theater prices are really high,” Tango says thoughtfully.
Whiskey rolls his eyes, then pushes Nursey out of the way.
“Hi, could I have two large popcorns and two large drinks?”
He turns back to them, “Dex, and Tango, choose a drink. Nursey, give me a twenty.”
“Sprite.”
“Cherry Coke.”
“Why don’t I get to choose one?” Nursey says, handing over a bill.
“You’re sharing with Dex. And I’m sharing with Tango because I knew he would say Cherry Coke.”
Whiskey takes the drinks from the cashier and gives them to them. “Problem solved, huh?”
“Ah, yep, good job, Whisk. No time wasted, yeah?” Nursey says, slapping his back.
“Nurse, shut the f—“ Whiskey starts, then stops himself, settling with just stomping on Nursey’s toe. Even though that looked like it hurt, Nursey’s laughing. Will looks at Tango, who is looking like he’s about to ask some questions. Will smiles, glad to not be the only confused one.
“Alright, alright. Let’s go, boys,” Nursey says, when he stops making a scene at the butter station.
When they get to the already-dark theater, Nursey grabs Will’s wrist, pulling him towards seats in the back. Will’s heart catches. He’s not even holding hands with Nursey and he’s blushing. Christ. He sits between Nursey and Whiskey and suddenly feels exactly like he's where he should be.
He grabs the popcorn from Nursey. When he takes it, Nursey looks at smiles at him. Will can tell he’s happy too.
Derek is happy. He feels like the past few years have been a card house, waiting to fall. And when it fell, everything fell into the right place.
Well, almost everything, he thinks when Dex smiles at him.
But if this is the right place, this is the right place. He’s happier than he was before, now that he knows he can and is trusted to be there for Will. He knows his place with Dex right now. He smiles back, but tries not to look again for the rest of the movie. Except for when Chowder is making comments about the sexiness of every single character in the movie, and he watches Dex laugh. Force of habit.
It’s not too hard to pay attention to the movie though. Gal Gadot and Chris Pine are really fucking cute. And Wonder Woman is bad ass.
He’s proud that he keeps his cool the whole movie.
He keeps his cool all the way until he and Dex get back to their room.
They’d talked about everything on their way back from the theater, superheroes, feminism, the possibility of magic. Derek realizes that he’s not going to be able to get over Dex, not like this. And if his thing for Dex is going to get in between their friendship, he needs to kill it now.
He thinks Dex had asked him a question, because he’s looking at him expectantly.
He swallows hard. “Dex, I have something to tell you.”
Oh fuck, now I really have to say something, he thinks. He quickly tries to think of anything important he might have to tell Dex but he can’t.
Dex is still looking at him, so he looks down at his feet.
“I really like you. Fuck, I honestly feel like I’m in love with you. And I can’t really hide it and I feel like I’m going to do something stupid soon, so I just had to tell you, I guess. I know it’s unfair of me to push this on you, right after you came out to me and we have all this new trust and I don’t want to take advantage of you but I really can’t help it. I’m sorry, um, I’ll sleep with C tonight—“
“Nurse, I was just waiting ‘til you were finished. Stop freaking out.”
Derek looks up. Dex is softly smiling at him, for God’s sake.
“So, um, what are your feelings then?” Derek says, looking at Dex’s shoulder now, unable to keep looking directly at him.
Dex walks over to him, and stops about a foot away.
“Nursey, you make me really fucking happy. And I have been thinking about it, since you stare at me so damn much.”
Derek looks up sharply.
“Honestly, Chowder told me that last week, but I did notice after he said it,” Dex grins. “But, um, seriously Nursey, if you wanna try this, I want to too.”
Derek reacts, pulling Dex in by the shoulders and into his arms. He hugs him tightly, feeling like where they’re touching might be the only thing anchoring him to the ground.
“Oh, y’know, I thought you were going to kiss me there. Like that seems like the thing that might usually happen.”
Derek’s laugh bubbles out of him. He feels fucking light as air. “You suck,” he says, letting go of Dex.
“Baby, don’t be like that,” Dex says, his whole face lit up.
Derek stares at him, trying to take it all in. Dex gets close to him again, putting his hands on Derek’s waist. Derek finally, finally leans in, into Dex’s space. He goes so slowly though that Dex finally lets out a sigh, and closes the distance.