Archive of Our Own

“I was left to my own devices/ Many days fell away with nothing to show/ And the walls kept tumbling down/ In the city that we love/ Grey cloud roll over the hills/ Bringing darkness from above/ But if you close your eyes/ Does it almost feel like/ Nothing changed at all? And if you close your eyes/ Does it almost feel like/ You’ve been here before? How am I gonna be an optimist about this? How am I gonna be an optimist about this?”

Stiles ends there because he doesn’t exactly want to play the whole song. He looks up at Laura, looking for her reaction.

“Stiles,” she says softly, reaching out to brush his hair back. Her eyes are sad, but she has a smile on her lips. “You’re so talented. And it’s only get better as you get older.”

“Hands off, Palmer,” he jokes, moving his head away from her hand. He smiles at her sadly but enjoys the praise. “I don’t really want to show anyone else though. They’re all gonna pity me. Derek will frown even more, and he might even get wrinkles at the tender age of sixteen.”

Laura just laughs and shakes her head. “I promise I won’t tell anyone that you’re secretly musically talent. Sometimes, I forget that you’re twelve, not the same age as Derek.”

Stiles just shrugs. “I still look like I’m eight, so I don’t know where you get that from.”

She just smiles down at him, ruffles his hair like he is her little brother too. The Hale family has plenty of kids, but they still decided to adopt Stiles into their small army of a family. And he was cool with it. It’s just him and his dad, and his dad has been working more than usual, so it got boring at home alone in a quiet house.

But that’s the last time Stiles sees Laura. There’s a house fire in the Hale house that kills everyone except Derek and Laura since they were at school when the house was on fire. She wasn’t at the funeral, but Derek was. He told Stiles that they were leaving and maybe he would see Stiles when he’s older. He looked so crushed, his skin pale, dark circles under his eyes, and his eyes were as dead as the rest of his family.

And that was the last time Stiles saw Derek.

If it weren’t for Scott, Stiles would have never moved on from the loss of his second family Laura and Derek never talked to him or contacted him. Stiles couldn’t even find them. It was like they died in the fire, and Stiles thinks that a big part of the two did die in that fire. So did Stiles, but no one knows that. No one.

***

Derek isn’t entirely sure how he comes across it. He just opens his laptop one day to work on his thesis and YouTube is open. He blames Laura because she’s always stealing his laptop. And curiosity takes over him, so he looks at the video she was watching. It’s just a background of a sunset with words on the screen. Confused, he plays it.

It starts out with vocalization from a couple of girls and maybe one or two guys. The beat is interesting, and it all catches his attention, but what keeps him entranced is the lyrics that are displayed on the screen.

“There’s an Albatross around your neck/ All the things you’ve said/ Andthe things you’ve done/ Can you carry it with no regrets/ Can you stand the person you’ve become?”

The lead singer is a woman with a slightly smokey voice, and it’s good, but the lyrics are definitely what sucks Derek and doesn’t let go. He listens to the whole song, reading the lyrics that run across the screen. He then puts it on repeat and listens to it maybe three or four more times before finally checking out who it’s by. The song is called Weight of Living pt. 1  by Genim and the Pack. Not the best name, but they have a couple of other videos out, so he checks them out.

He may or may not end up not doing his thesis and instead illegally downloads the songs and puts them on his phone so he can listen to the three songs whenever he wants. For some reason, the lyrics just leak into his soul and fill a whole that’s been missing since he left Beacon Hills six years ago. The whole comes back when the songs are over; he doesn’t think he’ll ever be rid of it completely, but the songs help.

So he subscribes to the YouTube channel to get updates each time they upload a new song, which seems like it’s every other week. He can be patient. He can. Shut up, Laura.

***

“No,” Stiles tells them for the third time, the entire group just staring at him. He’s kind of glad he can sort of hide behind the drums. Not entirely though and it sucks. “I don’t want my songs on the internet.”

“Why not?” Scott asks. “Dude, they’re great.”

“They are,” Lydia tells him. “And that has to mean something coming from me.”

“But they’re personal,” Stiles argues even though the girl of his dreams just admitted that his songs are good. Well, she’s not the girl of his dreams anymore now that he kind of realized that he had a crush on her for all the wrong reasons, and she’s actually an entirely different person than the one he made up in his head. Whoops. “It’s like putting my diary up on a blog.”

“We could do it anonymously,” Allison suggests, and Scott looks like he just fell in love with her. Again. Gross.

“How?” Isaac asks, looking like a confused puppy with ruffled hair. Stiles still slightly regrets having a crush on the werewolf.

“We record the music, put the lyrics up on the screen over some nature picture that looks deep,” Allison tells him with a shrug. “That way the music still gets out without anyone knowing who wrote it.”

Stiles thinks about it for a moment. “That means we actually need a band name.”

“The Pack,” Isaac suggests, his eyes lighting up.

Stiles just smiles and rolls his eyes. “Works for me.” Scott is already shaking his head before Stiles finishes the sentence.

“We have to acknowledge you somehow,” he insists then takes a moment to think about it.

“We’re not putting my name. I have a pretty unique name.” Stiles isn’t exactly like John. Not many people can say they know a Stiles and God forbids this gets around and everyone at his university finds the music and knows that he wrote it. No. No thank you. He doesn’t want to deal with that ridicule. He got enough in high school from Jackson thankyouverymuch.

Scott sighs and starts thinking harder. Everyone stares at him, concerned because Scott doesn’t think this hard usually. “How about Genim and the Pack?”

“Genim?” Lydia repeats, her face scrunching up in disgusts and judgment. “How does that relate back to Stiles?”

Said drummer is glaring at his best friend because that was a secret supposed to be taken to the grave. “That’s my middle name,” he just mumbles loud enough for non-werewolf ears to hear him.

Allison puts a hand over her mouth and tries her hardest not to laugh. Lydia just arches an eyebrow at him and shrugs. “It’s the best we can do,” she says, so with Lydia’s approval they have a new band name.

Isaac sets up the recording stuff that they all pitched in to buy for possible recording (Stiles didn’t pitch it since it was a surprise to him that he didn’t exactly want, but that’s another story) because the kid is actually a genius when it comes to technology. He’s even planning on majoring in music engineering in college, which Stiles, still undeclared, has mad respect for.

“Which song?” Allison asks, sliding her fingers along her bass, fingering at the frets.

They all look at Stiles, and he supposes that it is his decision. He thinks about it and thinks it’s only appropriate to record the first song he ever wrote. “Pompeii,” he answers, standing up to start on the keyboard.

It takes a few takes to get all of the different parts and Isaac promises to edit it together and upload it.

“Let me listen to it before you do,” Stiles instructs because his is the leader of the band. Scott may be the alpha, but the band is Stiles’ pack and he’s the alpha here.

Isaac nods and then they end practice, promising to meet up next weekend to record the next song. Isaac and Stiles go back to their apartment that they share with Scott, but Scott goes out with Allison.

Once they’re home, Isaac locks himself up in his room, and Stiles knows he has his huge headphones that block everything but the music out, so he’s left to his own thoughts. And where do his thoughts always go when he’s alone? The Hales. Always the Hales. Specifically the surviving ones that he still can’t find. His efforts in finding them dwindled, but it doesn’t mean he stopped.

And it’s that night he checks his email and has one from someone he doesn’t know. It doesn’t look like spam; it looks like a personal one, so he opens it, and his heart practically stops.

Kiddo,

We miss you. Well, I miss you, and I definitely know Derek does. I’m sorry it’s been so long. Knowing you, you’ve worked your ass off trying to find us. Hopefully you gave that up before it became an obsession. I really hope you’re not still doing that.

Anyway. Here’s me coming back into contact with you. I won’t tell you where we are because I don’t think Derek is ready for this yet. I am. I’m so passed ready. I miss you so much, Stiles. I really do. So tell me everything. How have you been? You’re eighteen now, aren’t you? And you’ve already graduated. Damn. How was high school? Best four years of your life? Ha, doubt it because if someone says high school was the best four years of their life they’re either lying or the rest of their life is going to be complete shit.

Love,

Laura

And he stares at that name for longer than it probably appropriate. Laura. Laura. Laura Hale emailed him after six years of zero contact. He doesn’t reply immediately, trying to formulate a response in his head when he gets another email, this one from Isaac with a link to a YouTube video. The video is on private, but it’s their song. So he listens to it, surprised by how good and professional it actually sounds.

He replies to Isaac to take it off private that it’s perfect and he’s the best Isaac ever. Then when the video is put up, he copy and pastes the link into Laura’s email with a simple reply of:

Remember this?

Love,

Stiles

***

He doesn’t exactly know it happens, but Derek starts commenting on the videos. His username is simple DH25 for his initials and the day of his birthday. Simple. He isn’t the only one commenting. While the first video he saw had maybe a thousand views, the newest video has over ten thousand, but he stills comments even though the band will never see his in the sea of comments.

DH25: Your lyrics are amazing. I’m addicted to your songs.

He definitely doesn’t expect a reply, especially not one from the band.

Genimandthepack: Thanks, dude! That really means a lot. These songs are like entries into my diary. I’m secretly a preteen girl. Shhh –G

Derek easily guesses that the G stands for Genim. Or at least he assumes. It’s a really weird name that he has never heard anywhere before, but he still got a reply from the writer of the songs. That’s…Derek doesn’t know what that is besides great. He can’t stop smiling, and that’s stupid.

He watches the video again, letting the soft piano wash him away and the woman’s voice softest he has ever heard. His favorite instruments has always been the piano and wishes he played. Stiles did, and he loved watching the kid’s hands gracefully move along the keyboard.

“When you play it hard, and I try to follow you there/ It’s not about control, but I turn back when I see you go/ Are you going to age with grace?/ Are you going to leave a path to trace?/ When oblivion is calling out your name/ You always take it further than I ever can.”

There’s even a soft violin part in the background, and he didn’t know they had a violinist. He wonders how many people make up the band. But he thinks this new songs Oblivion may be his new favorite. For some reason, it makes him think of Stiles, wondering what the kid looks like now. He’s eighteen now, probably in college since he was always smart.

Derek wonders. Will he age with grace? Will he age with no mistake?

“Hey, what’s with that face?” Laura questions, leaning against the doorjamb.

“Nothing. Just thinking.” He changes the tabs on his computer so that his thesis document is staring at him.

She nods, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ve been doing some thinking lately,” she says, and that tone is never good. Derek closes his laptop to give her his full attention as she crosses the room and sits on his bed in front of him. “I was thinking of maybe going back to Beacon Hills? Just for a visit. You know, see what it looks like now, get some closure, and maybe see Stiles?”

Derek immediately closes up and shakes his head. “No.”

“Der,” she starts before he holds his hand up.

“No,” he repeats.

“It might help,” she softly urges, but he doesn’t respond. She takes a deep breath and stands up, walking out the room. She stops at the door and says over shoulder, “With or without you, I’m going.”

***

Laura: Seriously. I need to know your inspiration behind that last song. Derek has been listening nonstop.

Stiles: Derek has? Really? Are you talking about Oblivion?

Laura: Yes, Derek loves your music so much. He won’t stop listening to your songs. And yes Oblivion. What was it about?????? I demand you tell me!!!

Stiles: Calm down, Palmer. He doesn’t know it’s me, right? He can’t know. I don’t want people knowing it’s me.

Laura: He doesn’t know it’s you. NOW TELL ME THE INSPIRATION DAMNIT

Stiles: You and Derek. Think about it.

Laura: …oh. I’ll never be able to apologize enough, Stiles.

Stiles: It’s really not a big deal. I forgave you guys years ago.

Laura: Good.

Stiles and Laura have been texting lately. She’s the only one outside of the band that knows he’s the one behind the lyrics that have apparently gotten very famous over the internet very quickly. He didn’t expect this outcome, but it happened. People love the music. People want to know the faces behind the music. And some people are like Laura and asking for the inspiration behind every song.

Stiles really didn’t expect people to connect with his music so well, but it gives him newfound inspiration. He starts trying to get the band together more often to record songs faster so he can upload them faster and to practice more songs. He keeps writing and writing then he gets a text from Laura.

Laura: I’m in Beacon Hills. Do you want to meet up?

Stiles: Of course. Where?

Laura: Your place okay?

Stiles: Yes. Tonight?

Laura: Now? I may have gotten the address from your dad.

So Stiles jumps up off his bed and runs to the door, dropping his notebook and pen on the floor. He opens the door and stops breathing when he sees his big sister standing there. “Laura,” he breathes out before wrapping his arms around her, squeezing tightly.

She laughs breathlessly and hugs him back just as tightly, nuzzling her face into his neck and taking a deep breath. She doesn’t do a very good job of hiding the fact that she’s a werewolf, but Stiles has known since Scott and Isaac were bitten by a rogue alpha two years ago. Then they found out about werewolves and hunters and so much more. Then Stiles found out the truth behind the Hale fire and even Derek’s involvement.

“Yo, Palmer,” he laughs, backing up. “Stop sniffing me. I can see by your face you got questions. I smell like werewolves, don’t I?” He decides the best way to break it to her is to just ease it in conversation.

She’s surprised for half a second before narrowing her eyes at him. “How long have you known?” she asks.

“Two years. Now come on in and I’ll give you the scoop.” He ushers her in his apartment, closing the door behind her. He offers her food or drinks, but she shakes her head and removes her jacket and shoes as she steps further in.

“Stiles,” Scott calls out, walking out of his room with a hard expression. “There’s an alpha in our apartment.” His eyes flash red at that until he spots Laura. Then his head cocks, confused.

Laura flashes her red eye back before smiling. “I come in peace, Alpha McCall.”

Scott rolls his eyes. “Call me Scott. Laura, I’m guessing?”

She nods with a small smile, side-glancing at Stiles. “Talk about me much?”

“I’m actually in love with you,” Stiles tells her, clutching his chest. “I’ve never gotten over you, Laura.”

She hits him on the arm with a roll of her eyes. “I can hear the lie even if I didn’t already know things,” she says with a secretive smile.

“So you and Isaac are going out tonight, right?” Stiles asks, snapping his head to his best friend. He doesn’t want his friends being able to listen in on whatever he and Laura are going to talk about.

Scott just smiles and nods. “I was planning on going to the library anyway. Isaac has a song he’s editing.”

“One of mine?” Stiles asks, curious.

Scott’s eyes dart to Laura, and she just smiles, so he keeps going. “Yeah. Weight of Living pt. 1 I think?”

“You already uploaded that one. It’s Der’s favorite.” Laura looks confused, looking between the two guys. Stiles is confused too.

“He’s remixing it. Just kinda having fun with it. It’s for a school project. He was gonna finish it and then ask if he can use it.” Scott looks slightly proud. He really does love when his friends do what they love.

“Yeah, can’t wait to hear it. Now please get out.” Stiles opens the door, waving his arm dramatically.

Scott rolls his eyes before grabbing Isaac and dragging him out of the apartment. Once they’re gone, Stiles pulls Laura by the wrist to drag her to his room. It’s a two bedroom apartment, and Stiles got the bigger one even though Isaac and Scott share. They forced him into it because they wanted him to have room for all of his instruments.

Laura takes a moment to look around the room in silence. It’s pretty bare. There’s just a full-size bed, a tiny desk, and a dresser for furniture. His keyboard, two guitars, drums, and cello taking up the rest of the room.

“Tell me this isn’t where you guys record,” she says with a laugh looking at all the instruments.

He shakes his head. “We record at my dad’s house. I completely cleaned out my old bedroom and the pack helped me set up a recording space. That’s where my real babies are.” He gestures to the keyboard and drums. Those are his second sets, both of them super cheap and crappy, but he needs them at his disposal when he’s writing new songs. “I can’t always make the trip back to my dad’s house at two in the morning, ya know? Freaks him out. He bought me these because he was sick of thinking someone was breaking in.”

She laughs, sitting on the bed. “Sounds like your dad. So werewolves. When did you find out about me and Der?”

He shrugs, sitting in his desk chair. “I was never sure you guys were actually werewolves. I kinda figured cuz you guys did touch and sniff me a lot. I never knew how normal that was for me. When Scott first turned he was embarrassed by it, and that’s when I realized. Then the Argents came in, and I kinda pieced together what happened with the fire.” He stops, looking down because this hurts him almost as much Laura.

“How much do you know about that?” she asks.

“My bassist, Allison, is an Argent and Scott’s fiancée,” Stiles tells her. “I actually met Kate once. She’s creepy. You didn’t hear anything about what happened here?”

Laura shakes her head, so he launches into the story. A rogue alpha bit Scott and Isaac, trying to start a pack then somehow Peter Hale killed the alpha, became one himself and tried to bring Scott and Isaac into his pack by force. He tried biting Lydia, but she never turned. He bit Jackson, but he turned into a kanima and now he’s a werewolf. That’s a fun story. The Argents kind of started a war against Peter so he bit Erica and Boyd. Then Peter killed Kate.

Then the alpha pack came, kidnapped Boyd and Erica. Killed Erica. And convinced Peter to kill Boyd and join the alpha pack. When he joined, the killed him and started going after Scott because he was a true alpha (“Those actually exist? Holy fuck.”) So they ended up coming together, Isaac, Allison, Lydia, Stiles, and Scott against the alpha pack and then later a darach. It was crazy.

“I never knew you were in so much danger,” Laura sighs. “I thought the Argents were out of Beacon Hills.”

“They came back,” Stiles tells her softly. “But it wasn’t all bad. I got a pack. I understood why you and Derek left better, which made me less mad. I’m still a little mad because you guys just dropped me. At least you guys had each other. I had no one. To me, my entire second family died.”

Laura just wraps herself around Stiles, nuzzling his shoulder. He wraps his arms around her tightly before asking, “How’s Derek?”

“He’s okay. Just trying to finish up his Master’s, obsessing over a new band, and trying to avoid thinking of his mate the whole time.” She smiles sadly.

“His mate?” Stiles asks, confused. “I’ve read about them in the Argent bestiary, but there’s like no information on them.”

“We don’t exactly want the hunters knowing that,” she points out. “But yeah. Derek has a mate. I thought you would know that. You figured everything else out.”

Stiles is still confused. “Did he meet her in New York?”

Laura is surprised. “How did you know?”

“I have a friend. It’s beside the point. Derek’s mate?”

“Is you,” she answers with a smug grin.

Stiles frowns and shakes his head. “But it isn’t. I feel like he wouldn’t have left if I was. He did. And he hasn’t talked to me since.”

She shrugs. “He’s in denial about it. He only realized once we left, but he won’t admit it.”

“Then how do you know?”

“I’m the alpha,” she tells him with a laugh. “It’s my nature to know these things about my pack, and Derek is the only one in my pack. And you if you ever want to be.”

Stiles swallows and leans his head on her shoulder. “I missed you.”

She kisses the top of his head. “Now, tell me about how this band thing happened while all of you avoided death.”

Stiles explains it, how one day they had a pack meeting at Stiles’ house, but no one could find him. Then Scott heard him singing and followed the voice to find him in the garage, plucking at the guitar, stopping, and then writing stuff down. Then each of them admitted to being able to play an instrument. Lydia could sing and play violin. Allison learned bass behind her parents’ back. Stiles already knew that Scott could play guitar, but he didn’t know Isaac could. And they decided to just see how it would go after forcing Stiles to show them one of his songs.

Then it became a stress reliever to play together and then later it became bonding until one of them decided to do something about it. That’s when they started uploading to YouTube and becoming an actual band. Scott wants to start doing gigs now, but Stiles isn’t sure he’s ready for that.

“So many people know the songs now,” he says. “I can hear people humming my songs under their breath in the library. If they saw us perform, they’d know the faces of the band. I don’t want that. Not yet.”

Laura nods. “How long are you going to keep it from Derek?”

“However long it takes for him to talk to me,” he replies with no hesitation.

“He’s already talking to you,” she tells him. “In his own way even though he doesn’t know it’s you.”

Stiles frowns and the realization dawns on him. “DH25 is him, isn’t it?”

Laura smiles and nods. “Checkmate.”

***

Derek logs onto his computer, thinking about possibly masturbating since Laura is gone, and he doesn’t get this opportunity often. But when he checks YouTube for a video from Genim and the Pack, he sees a message in his inbox, which is weird. He never gets messages on YouTube.

Genimandthepack: This is weird. I know. I get this, but I wrote some new stuff, and the band is completely biased. They think everything I write is perfect and never needs any work and that’s just wrong. So I thought maybe a complete stranger might be better? You’re like our top fan and always comment on the lyrics. So what do you think? Wanna help me out?

-G

Derek pauses, thinking about the proposition and then quickly types out a reply.

DH25: Yeah, of course. My opinion is probably not that professional. I major in history, not music, so I probably won’t be much help.

He’s surprised by how quickly he gets a message back.

Genimandthepack: Thankyouthankyouthankyou! And hey. History is cool. I thought about doing that as my major. Then I thought about mythology and then I thought about music and then I thought about criminology and obviously I don’t have my life figured out yet. Whoops. Anyway. Lyrics. Here they are. It’s called Icarus. Since you’re a history nerd, I’m guessing you know symbolism. Guess I picked the perfect stranger to ask for an opinion ;)

Look who’s digging their own grave

That is what they all say

You’ll drink yourself to death

Look who makes their own bed

Lies right down within it

And what will you have left?

Out on the front doorstep

Drinking from a paper cup

You won’t remember this

Living beyond your years

Acting out all their fears

You feel it in your chest

Your hands protect the flames

From the wild winds around you

Icarus is flying too close to the sun

Icarus’ life, it has only just begun

It’s just begun

Standing on the cliff face

Highest foe you’ll ever grace

It scares me half to death

Look out to the future

But it tells you nothing

So take another breath

Your hands protect the flames

From the wild winds around you

Icarus is flying too close to the sun

Icarus’s life, it has only just begun

This how it feels to take a fall

Icarus is flying towards an early grave

You put up your defenses when you leave

You leave because you’re certain

Of who you want to be

And the rest is repeated. Derek just reads the lyrics over and over and over. His heart beats faster because he connects to this song so well. More so this song than most for some reason. It’s like Genim knows Derek and knows exactly what has happened in his life. It takes a bit for him to respond, but he does.

DH25: Um. Wow. Sorry. I’m not good with words, and it’s taking me a lot to process that. Those are probably your best so far. Do you know my life? Sometimes I feel like you do. The way you write just connects with me so well. And I’m probably not being helpful at all, but seriously, Genim. This is great. Perfect. When will it be posted????

Again the response is quick almost like Genim types faster than the speed of light.

Genimandthepack: Thanks, dude! I’m so glad you like it. Everything you said made me smile so much; I can’t stop. It will be posted as soon as the band practices it and we record it then Isaac works his technology magic. A couple of us play more than one instrument. –G

DH25: What do you play? I know you write the songs.

Genimandthepack: I basically play all of the instruments. Not as well as my current bandmates. Like Allison play the bass and looks 1000x sexier than I do on it. Scott and I are pretty close on skill level with the guitar. Isaac is great at keeping rhythm so I have him on rhythm guitar and Scott on lead. Lydia is the lead singer; Allison does the harmonies. Lydia is perfect, though. Her voice always fits perfectly with my songs, and she even has a hidden talent (out of a million) of playing the violin. In the recordings, I do all the drums, piano, and keyboard stuff, but I play a lot more regularly. I’ve done background vocals because no one wants me on lead, I assure you. I’ll probably do some background on this next song. Wow I’m rambling. Dude, I’m so sorry. I’m sure you didn’t care that much about the band.

DH25: I mean, I asked one question and got about a million answers to other questions as well as mine, but I’m not complaining. So there’s only 5 of you? Wow. I would’ve guessed there would be more. That’s awesome. Are you guys ever going to make a music video? Show the faces behind the talent?

Surprisingly, Genim doesn’t respond within five minutes like usual. So Derek goes on to work on his thesis, cook dinner, and the reply doesn’t come until he’s about to go to bed four hours later.

Genimandthepack: I’m not exactly ready for people to know who I am yet. A lot of people I know personally have become fans of my music, and I don’t want them to know it’s me writing the songs, ya know? Like the band took weeks to convince me this whole uploading to YouTube was a good idea. It’s kinda like having my diary made public. I think I told you that before? Yeah. So.

Derek doesn’t respond, just respects Genim’s privacy a little more. He knows a bit about staying hidden.

After that night, though, Genim continues to get Derek’s opinion on lyrics. The next one he sends is called Daniel in the Den and Derek loves it just like he loves all of them. His favorite lines being:

And you thought the lions were bad
Well they tried to kill my brothers
And for every king that died
Oh they would crown another
And it’s harder than you think
Telling dreams from one another
And you thought the lions were bad
Well they tried to kill my brothers

And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you
And felled in the night
By the ones you think you love
They will come for you

Derek hopes that one will be up very soon and tells Genim as such. He also asks where he gets the inspiration for all of these songs.

Genimandthepack: Well honestly. A lot of them I wrote years ago. I started when I was twelve and something super horrible and tragic happened and gave me more fuel. Then some of my closest friends left and got more inspiration. Then when I turned 16, shit hit the fan and I didn’t have time to sleep let alone write. Daniel in the Den is actually about that time in my life. But some of them like Oblivion and Weight of Living pt. 1 are super old. Pompeii was actually the very first song I ever wrote. Obviously I’ve edited them and fixed them up before uploading but yeah. There’s one I’m working on right now that I wrote like six years ago, but I don’t know if I have the courage to post it. It’s one of the most personal songs I have. Not even my best friend Scott has heard it.

DH25: Well, if you want a complete stranger’s opinion, I’m right here ;)

Genimandthepack: whoa whoa whoa dude. You used an emoticon. Here I was thinking you were a serious adult who was being super serious writing a thesis and majoring in boring history and whoa. Illusion shattered. I bet your room isn’t actually organized. It’s a huge mess, isn’t it? And I wouldn’t say we’re complete strangers. I mean, you’ve basically seen into my soul. Was it gross? Frightening? Dirty? I have a dirty mind sooo.

DH25: My room is actually really messy right now. Shut up. Don’t judge me. I don’t have time for cleaning. You don’t even know my name. We’re still kinda strangers. Your soul wasn’t gross. It’s enchanting. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of it.

Derek pauses. Did he just flirt with Genim? He kind of did. He’s not sure if he regrets it at all. He is starting to like Genim. They’re kind of like soul mates in the sense that Derek really connects with his lyrics and if Genim thinks that’s seeing into his soul, then Derek definitely likes what he sees. Loves it even.

Genimandthepack: Wow. Flirty. I can dig it. Anyway. I have homework that I actually have to do instead of chatting it up with you or obsessing over this song. So I’ll come back to you soon with new lyrics. Also, new upload sometime tomorrow. I dunno when Isaac will do it, but he said tomorrow, and he doesn’t lie.

Genimandthewolfpack: Oh wait. What is your name?

DH25: Derek. Good luck with homework.

And then Derek decides to take Genim’s lead and work on his thesis. He gets about a paragraph out before his mind permanently drifts to the songwriter that always captures his thoughts.

***

“I’m gonna do it,” Stiles finally decides aloud to the room where Scott, Isaac, Allison, and Lydia are scattered across all doing their own thing.

“Tell Derek who you really are instead of continuing to flirt with him?” Lydia asks in a bored tone, not looking up from her textbook.

He rolls her eyes at her even though she can’t see it. She lifts her middle finger anyway. Rude. “I’m gonna show you guys a song that I’ve never showed anyone before. I wrote it when Derek and Laura left.” He leads them to his room and gets his keyboard out and starts playing and then singing.

“I’ll see you in the future when we’re older/ And we are full of stories to be told/ Cross my heart and hope to die/ I’ll see you with your laughter lines.”

When he finishes the song, he takes a deep breath and turns around to face his friends. He’s surprised to see Allison and Lydia wiping at their eyes while Scott just lets his fall freely.

“It’s about Derek, isn’t it?” Isaac asks.

Stiles just nods once. “It was the last time we saw each other. If I upload it, it’s possible he’ll guess who I am.”

“So?” Lydia asks. “Stiles, that is your best song yet. Teach it to us, record it, and upload it. Now.”

He nods with a huge smile on his face and pulls out his phone really quick, shooting a message to Derek.

Genimandthepack: I lied. We’re not uploading today. I got inspired and showed them that song I told you about. I’m gonna teach it to them tonight and then we’ll practice and record it tomorrow while my dad’s at work. We use my old room as a recording studio cuz we’re poor ass college students. Anyway. Sorry for the wait. I hope you like this one.

DH25: I can’t wait to hear it.

And Stiles really hopes this is a good idea.

***

Derek waits three days before he checks Genim’s YouTube. No messages were exchanged during that time, and he tried to wait as long as he could, which wasn’t long. He is entirely pleased to see that there is a new upload with a message before it starts.

Hey, guys. I just…this took a lot of courage for me to post so if you hate it, don’t tell me. But I hope you like it because I do and yeah. Whatever. Just listen to the song. Isaac is making me be sentimental and I don’t like it.

Then the song plays and again. The lyrics. Always the lyrics, Genim.

“You took me to your favorite place on Earth/ To see the tree they cut down ten years from your birth/ Our fingers traced in circles round its history/ We brushed our hands right back in time through centuries/ As you held me down, you said: ‘I’ll see you in the future when we’re older/ And we are full of stories to be told/ Cross my heart and hope to die/ I’ll see you with your laughter lines.’”

The song transports Derek into his past because of course it does. Genim writes the lyrics to Derek’s soul.

“I’m sorry, Derek,” Stiles said, his voice cracking slightly. His face was red and his eyes were full of unshed tears. “I’m so sorry about what happened.”

Derek set his face hard because Stiles didn’t even know the half of it, what Derek had done. He just took Stiles to the nemeton because it was the one place his mind was always cleared. “I always come here when I’m upset,” he told Stiles.

Stiles looked up at him, eyes wide and amazed that Derek would bring him. Their hands traced over it, meeting in the middle. Derek grabbed his hand, holding it tight. “Laura and I are leaving,” he told him.

“How long?” Stiles asked, licking his lips.

Derek didn’t answer, just looks over at the trees. “I promise I’ll see you again, okay?”

“Cross your heart?” Stiles asked, a smile playing at his lips.

“And hope to die. I’ll see you in the future where you’ll have even more stories to tell me. You’ll have such a good life that the next time I see you, you’ll have laughter lines.” Derek tried to smile. He really did. He tried to be strong for the kid in front of him.

Stiles just nodded. “Later, Der.”

And that was the last time Derek saw Stiles or spoke to him… Genim can’t know about that. He can’t be Stiles. Stiles’ name isn’t Genim. Where would he even get that weird of a name? They’re not the same person. What are the chances?

“Laura,” he call out, waiting for his sister to open his bedroom door. She looks at him expectantly. “I’m going back.”

“To Beacon Hills?” she clarifies.

He nods.

She sighs. “Thank God. Holy shit. Pack your bags. We’re leaving ASAP.”

“Laura,” he says as she starts to walk away. “Can I… I think this is something I should do alone.”

***

Stiles anxiously awaits Derek’s response to the new song. For the first time, there’s no comment from DH25, no message telling him how much he loved it and how much he connected with it. He waits anxiously for a response and never gets one. Then Scott drags him out for his nineteenth birthday even though nineteen isn’t really an important age. Who cares?

“We have a surprise,” Scott tells him as they walk into the restaurant, but Stiles doesn’t care. Derek found out it was Stiles the whole time. Derek doesn’t want anything to with him. Derek hates him. Derek is…sitting at a table with Lydia, Allison, and Isaac, looking six years older and uncomfortable. His head snaps over to him, eyes locking with Stiles.

“Holy shit,” Stiles breathes out, stopping in his tracks, which is right in front of a waiter who crashes into the teenager and everything on the waiter’s tray falls. The dude glares at Stiles as he profusely apologizes. “I’m so sorry, dude. Here let me help.”

But the waiter just jerks away from him, and Scott ushers his best friend to the table. Great. Now he’s flushed red, embarrassed himself in front of Derek, and still doesn’t know how to react.

He licks his lips and meets Derek’s eyes again. “Your face is different,” he blurts out then throws his hands over his mouth when Derek just frowns at him, confued. “I mean…I just. I don’t know. You have stubble now. And a jaw. And you look like you ate something sour.”

“Your everything is different,” Derek says, scanning his eyes over Stiles’ body, which make him flush. Derek isn’t checking him out. He’s cataloging the changes in Stiles’ body considering the last time they saw each other Stiles was twelve, not nineteen. So Stiles takes the time to do the same. Derek is a lot more filled out. So much muscle. Such strength. Wow.

No not the time for memes, Stiles. Damnit. Be mature. Be adult. Be Derek’s mate…fuck. There goes dinner. He glances at Scott and tries to telepathically tell his best friend I hate you. Worst surprise ever.

Scott looks back at him wounded, probably trying to convey Dude, I’m sorry. We’re definitely talking about it when we get home, though this is weird.

Stiles takes a step and finally sits down next to Derek and Scott sits in front of the birthday boy. “Hey, Stiles,” Allison greets with her beautifully dimpled smile.

Derek glares over at her and then sees Scott wrap his arm around her shoulders. He relaxes. Huh. That’s interesting.

“How’ve you been, Der?” Stiles asks. “It sure has been a while since we’ve talked.” Even Stiles can hear the lie in that. Scott and Isaac both look over at him with concern while Derek just frowns even further in confusion. Oh yeah. He doesn’t think Stiles knows about werewolves. And Derek can hear the lie. And can’t call him out on it. Whoops.

“I’ve been okay, considering,” he says, shrugging.

Stiles nods. “Yeah. Laura told me you’re working on your Master’s?”

Derek nods. “I’ve been trying to write my thesis.”

“Trying?” Stiles asks, amused.

“I keep getting distracted,” Derek tells him with a blush creeping up on his cheek.

Stiles frowns. Derek is getting distracted? By who? Or whom? Grammar aside, Stiles is jealous and pissed. He hasn’t seen Derek in almost seven years and really has no right to get jealous over any partners the man chooses, but still. Stiles is his mate. That should say something, right?

So then dinner goes by super awkwardly with Derek and Stiles saying very little to anyone the rest of the night despite everyone’s efforts to get them to talk.

“See you around, Derek,” Stiles mumbles before ducking out of the restaurant as soon as he finishes his dessert. Scott was his ride there, so he sits on a bench outside, people watching and frowning at everything. This wasn’t supposed to go this way. He doesn’t know how he expected him seeing Derek again would’ve gone down. But being jealous and immaturely ignoring him the rest of the night was not the reaction Stiles had planned.

“Stiles,” a voice calls out.

He doesn’t bother looking up. “Leave it, Scotty. Don’t want to talk about it. Plus, he can still hear us. You know that.”

“Who can?” Then Stiles looks up. Of course, it’s Derek. “You’re talking about me. You think I can hear what you’re saying while sitting at the table when you’re all the way out here?”

“Don’t deny it, sourwolf,” Stiles tells him. “I know, okay? I know all of it.” He stands and steps closer to Derek. “All of it. Even the things you don’t think I know, I do. I know about Kate, I know about what you are, and I know about what I am to you.”

“And what are you to me aside from a pain in my ass?” Derek snaps. “I come all the way to the other side of the country for you to be treated like I’ve done something wrong.”

“You did!” Stiles yells, tears blurring his vision. He wipes at his eyes, feeling like a kid.

“All I did wrong was getting my family killed,” Derek whispers, his voice breaking. “I did nothing to you.”

Stiles just shakes his head at him. “You left. You left me. You’re not the only one who lost their family that day, Derek, and don’t you dare go blaming yourself. Ugh you piece of shit. I hate you. You know that, Der? I hate you.”

“Guys, you may want to take this somewhere private,” Scott says, walking up to them and trying to reassure the audience that crowded around them without their knowledge.

Derek looks at Stiles hopefully. “Do you wanna go back to my hotel room?”

“Propositioning me?” Stiles asks. “I don’t put out on first dates.”

“This wasn’t a date,” Derek tells him.

Stiles shrugs. “Fair enough. Lead the way.”

Derek turns around while Stiles waves to his friends, all of them giving him encouraging looks before he turns around and follows Derek to his car. The drive there is silent, making Stiles come up with lyrics instead of thinking too hard about the situation.

Now you’ve hit a wall and it’s not your fault
My dear, my dear, my dear
Now you’ve hit a wall and you’ve hit it hard
My dear, my dear, oh dear

It is not enough to be dumbstruck
(Can you fill the silence?)
You must have the words in that head of yours
And oh, oh can you feel the silence?
I can’t take it anymore
Cause it is not enough to be dumbstruck
(Can you fill the silence?)

Stiles didn’t realize he was singing under his breath until Derek says, “You have a nice voice. I didn’t know that.”

Stiles just laughs. “It’s not nice. That was under my breath, dude. Plus, I don’t have a good voice.”

“Where’s the song from?” he asks instead.

Stiles shrugs. “Just something that popped in my head.”

Derek doesn’t say anything, just pulls into a parking lot and parks his car. He leads Stiles to his hotel room that’s on the second floor. The walk is silent and Stiles hums the song in his head. Can you feel the silence? keeps flooding through his head as they walk into the room.

“Why do you hate me?” Derek asks, closing the door.

Stiles stares at him as he shrugs off his leather jacket. He snorts. “That’s one reason,” he says, waving his hand at Derek’s everything. “You grew into yourself very well.”

“Yeah?” Derek asks, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re not too bad yourself.”

Stiles rolls his eyes. “I hate you because you left me. You knew I was your mate, yet you still stayed away. What does that say about me? Am I that repulsive? Do you hate that I’m your mate? I thought maybe we could be good for each other, but then I realized why you’ve been gone this whole time. You don’t want me as your mate.”

Derek’s eyes flash blue at that, and Stiles knows what that means. It means that no matter how stoic Derek’s face is, his eyes flashing like that means he is feeling some intense emotions right now. Good. So is Stiles.

“It’s not that I don’t want you as my mate,” Derek tells him and then grunts in frustration. “I’m not good with words. I…I wasn’t ready for you. I wasn’t ready to be your mate yet. I was too fucked up. I didn’t deserve you. I don’t deserve you.”

And all Stiles wants to do is kiss the stupid werewolf.

***

It definitely didn’t turn out how Derek expected. Not even close. Stiles knows about werewolves. So there goes one conversation he wasn’t looking forward to. Stiles hates him. Stiles knows about Kate. Stiles knows about them being mates. Stiles knows everything, and all Derek can do is feel guilty that he developed feelings for some stupid songwriter named Genim that he doesn’t know when he has Stiles right here.

“You don’t deserve me?” Stiles spits out, disgusted. “Fuck you. That’s my decision, okay? Talk to me. Let me get to know you again. Get to know who I am again. It’s really weird. I think it’s kinda like…huh what’s the word…dating. Let me decide if you’re worth my time, and you can decide if I’m worth yours.”

Derek takes a deep breath, thinking about it and then nods. “Do you want me to drive you back home?” he asks.

“Nah, Scott followed us. I can’t believe you didn’t notice. And you call yourself a werewolf.” Stiles snorts and rolls his eyes. “But we are having a talk about that one day. I haven’t exactly gotten to be around a born werewolf knowingly, so prepare yourself for that.”

Derek smiles. “I will.”

“There’s that smile,” Stiles exclaims. “I like that. On your face. It should be there more often.”

“Duly noted,” Derek says with a nod and with that Stiles is gone. But not from his life. Just for the night.

Derek pulls out his laptop and decides to finally message Genim back for the new song he put out. He never gave his input.

DH25: Sorry it’s been a busy week. I had to talk to all my professors and get stuff done so I could fly out back to my hometown. Your song actually inspired me to do so, so I guess I owe you a thanks. Good song. As always. Reminded me of someone from my past that I really needed to see again. And I did. So again thank you. Without that song, I probably would’ve never gotten the courage to go see him.

Within ten minutes, there’s a reply.

Genimandthepack: That’s really really great. I’m glad you went to go see him. I bet he’s really happy that you came back. Keep up the courage. I see good things in your near future! –G

Derek laughs at that and lays back, staring at the ceiling. Time goes by, he doesn’t know how much when his phone vibrates with a new notification. He looks down and sees that Genim and the Pack uploaded a new video.

Alright so this is gonna be a bit different. It’s just gonna be me, Genim, and my guitar. The song will be reuploaded later with the whole band, but I really wanted this out tonight. So without further ado The Silence by me

So Derek listens. He always does, and he probably always will. The guitar is soft and the voice that comes out of the speakers is actually beautiful and familiar for some reason.

“Tell me a piece of your history/that you’re proud to call your own./ Speak in words you picked up/ as you walked through life alone/ We used to swim in your stories/ and be pulled down by their tide/choking on the words/and drowning with no air inside.”

And the next part is eerily similar to Derek.

“Now you’ve hit a wall, and it’s not your fault/ my dear, my dear, my dear/ Now you’ve hit a wall, and you’ve hit it hard/ my dear, my dear, oh dear.”

Derek stops the song. He can’t listen to it anymore. He doesn’t know how to react. Not even a little bit. He just pulls out his laptop again and messages Genim because it’s all he can do.

DH25: Is your real name Genim?

Genimandthepack: It is indeed. What’s up, buttercup? Trying to stalk me?

DH25: If I made the wrong assumption from your last song, this is going to sound really stupid, but, Stiles, is this you?

Genimandthepack: It’s Genim here, but yeah… uh. Yeah. It’s me. Stiles. Stiles God-awful-first-name Genim Stilinski. Please don’t be mad.

DH25: When did you know it was me?

Genimandthepack: Laura told me when she came out.

DH25: That long and you left me thinking you were some stranger?

Genimandthepack: You know what? Call me, okay? I can’t type this conversation out.

He leaves his number in the message, and it takes Derek a few minutes to build up the courage to call. He finally calls with a deep breath. Stiles answers with a soft, “Hey.” Derek doesn’t respond because this is Stiles’ conversation.

“Fine. I’ll start first.” He clears his throat and sighs. “You didn’t talk to me for six years, okay? And at first you were just another viewer giving me your opinion and I appreciated it. Then I found out who you were, and I missed you, Der. I really did. This was the only way I had of contacting you so I took advantage of it. I talked to you as much as I could without freaking you out because I miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss seeing your stupid face. I miss you hearing you tell me ridiculous stories about werewolves that were probably true now that I think about it.” And then finally Stiles stops his monologue.

Derek isn’t sure how to react or what to say. He wants to be mad, but how can he? He’s the one that left Stiles with nothing for almost seven years.

“Derek?” Stiles says into the phone. “You with me, buddy, or do you completely hate me now?”

“I could never hate you,” Derek finally says. “I don’t know what to say, but would you believe that earlier tonight I felt guilty for developing feelings for Genim when I had you back in my life again? Turns out you’re the same person. Of course.”

“Doesn’t that make it easier?” Stiles asks, his voice sounding hopeful. “You got to know me. You know me better than most people now that you know who wrote the songs.”

“I…I’m gonna need some time to process, okay?” Derek knows that he does. He needs to think through everything. “I’m not mad at you, and I don’t hate you. But just give me a day or two to figure out what I’m thinking. I’ll call you, okay?”

“Okay,” Stiles says softly. “I’ll always be here, Der. Always.” And with that, the younger man ends the conversation. Derek stares at his phone for a moment before going to Genim and The Pack’s YouTube page and starting from the very beginning, he listens to all of the songs over again.

He can see how Oblivion is about him and Laura most likely. Laughter Lines is definitely about Derek because that was a memory he and Stiles shared. He listens to Daniel in the Den about five times before he sees the hidden meaning. That’s when he realizes that Stiles has gone through a lot since Derek left. He needs to sit down with the younger man and talk about it at all, hear Stiles’ new stories, hear how Stiles found out about werewolves.

He just needs to be back in Stiles’ life again.

***

Stiles is nervous, anxious. He doesn’t go to any of his classes the next day. He just stares at his computer, watching his YouTube inbox and hoping for some sign that Derek will talk to him again. He said he would call, but Stiles is impatient, but he needs to give Derek the space the man asked for. Just because he’s going to do that, doesn’t mean it’s easy.

He waits all day, sitting in his bed and eating junk food and wallowing basically until Scott comes in for an intervention.

“We’re going to your dad’s house,” he announces when he walks in the room. “We’re going to jam.”

“I’m good,” Stiles tells him, staring straight at his laptop screen.

“I didn’t ask you to come,” Scott tells him, walking over to the bed. “I said we’re going.”

“You can’t pull your alpha powers on me; I’m human.” But Stiles closes his laptop anyway.

“I’m not using my alpha powers. I’m using my best bro powers. Now get out of bed and change your shirt. You stink.” And with that, his best friend leaves the room.

Stiles hurriedly changes shirts and then follows Scott and Isaac out of the apartment then drives to his dad’s house. His dad is at work, so they have the house to themselves to be as loud as they want. Lydia and Allison are already in the garage when the boys arrive.

They all look to him which song he wants to play, and he just shrugs. “Bad Blood?” he offers.

They all nod and start up the song with Stiles is at the keyboard, and it turns out to be a lot more therapeutic than Stiles thought it would. He looks around at his friends, his pack, his family and can’t keep the smile off his face. Even if Derek never calls, at least he has these people to help him heal. He couldn’t ask for a better group of people to love him and jam out with him, playing his songs.

“We should do a music video,” Stiles says when they’re done. “Let people see the faces behind the music finally.”

Scott just beams at him and then they plan it all out. They decide which song to play and who’s going to film it, Danny is good with technology after all.

By the time they leave his dad’s house, it’s night time. Stiles didn’t realize they spent that much time there, so he checks his phone, seeing a missed call from Derek. Then a few texts from the man.

Derek: Hey.
Derek: You there?
Derek: Whenever you’re not busy, can you stop by? Or I can come to you. Whichever is easier.

Stiles can’t help but smile at the texts. So he finally responds.

Stiles: Sorry, dude. I was with the pack. We’re thinking of making a video. Um, I’m already out so I’ll come to you. Be there in 10.

Stiles is surprised by how quickly he gets a response. It’s a simple text that just says ok, but that’s all the permission Stiles needs, so he gets driving. He doesn’t know what to expect and tries not to think about it. Obviously he fails, but he keeps going until he is standing in front of Derek’s hotel room door.

He lifts his hand to knock, but the door opens before he can. He stares at Derek, swallowing nervously. “Hey,” he says, lifting a hand weakly.

Derek grabs his shirt and presses his lips against Stiles’. “Hey,” he breathes out against Stiles’ lips.

Stiles takes a deep breath, definitely not expecting the kiss, but he’ll take it. “So, what now?”

“Talking. Lots of it,” Derek decides, pulling Stiles into the hotel room.

“But also kissing, right? Lots of it?” Stiles smiles at him hopefully, sitting on the bed and looking up at Derek, his mate.

Derek laughs once and nods. “Yeah, kissing too. But you have a lot stuff to tell me. I listened to all of your songs again last night. You have lots of stories to tell me.”

Stiles nods and starts talking, starts telling Derek his adventures over the last few years and keeps going. He tells him everything he told Laura and maybe even a little more like how he almost gave up on Scott that one full moon after he broke up with Allison because he just couldn’t deal with his best friend being like that. He tells him how utterly helpless and scared he felt when his dad went missing, and he knew exactly what was going to happen to the sheriff if Stiles didn’t find him in time.

“Beacon Hills never rests, does it?” Derek asks, smiling bitterly at it. “And you have an Argent in your band.”

“She’s nothing like Kate, I promise,” Stiles says. “Met her once, and that chick was creepy. She actually told me what happened between you and her, but I didn’t believe it, not at first. I never fully believed it. Is it true?”

“Did she sleep with me and trick me into falling in love with her so she could get close to me and kill my entire family on our weakest day?” Derek summarizes basically what Kate told him except without using the word “monsters” or “abominations” and sounding strangely prideful of what she did like she should get a gold star. “Yeah, it’s true. My entire family died because of me.”

“Derek Edward Hale,” Stiles says, scooting closer to the werewolf and putting his hands on his face. “Look at me. Look at me, Derek.” When he does as asked, Stiles continues. “Your family dying is not your fault. That was all Kate. Not you. Do you know how pissed your mom would be if she found out you’re blaming yourself for it? She would lecture the hell out of you. I’m surprised Laura hasn’t…unless…Laura doesn’t know, does she?”

“She has suspicions,” Derek admits softly.

Stiles nods to himself. “Laura doesn’t blame you either. You have to know that.”

Derek shakes his head, which is hard since Stiles still has it trapped between his hands. “She should.”

“No, she shouldn’t,” Stiles whispers, leaning his forehead against Derek’s. “We both love you, okay? Neither of us blame you for the fire. That was all Kate. None of it you. You don’t have to agree with me, not yet, but you need to know that Laura and I don’t blame you for the fire. And considering that the two of us are always right, you should think the same thing.”

The corners of Derek’s mouth pull up as he closes his eyes,  sighing and leaning against Stiles’ touch. “How did I get so lucky to get stuck with you?”

“No idea,” Stiles admits with a laugh and leans forward slightly to kiss Derek because he can do that now. Whenever he wants. It’s pretty awesome.

“Hey, so I wrote a song for this morning,” Stiles tells him, pulling back. “Do you wanna hear it?”

“Of course,” Derek answers, and Stiles wants to smile all the time now. He’s so happy. He jumps off the bed and goes straight for his jeep, grabbing his guitar. He comes back and sits down on the bed again, strumming through the strings quickly to make sure it’s in tune. Then he forms the first chord before looking up at Derek with a soft smile.

“It’s kind of about you, so don’t judge too much, okay? Remember. Like diary entries over here.” Stiles clears his throat and starts the song.

***

“When all of your flaws and all of my flaws/ Are laid out one by one/ A wonderful part of the mess that we made/ We pick ourselves undone/ All of your flaws and all of my flaws/ They lie there hand in hand/ Ones we’ve inherited, ones that we learned/ They pass from man to man/ There’s a hole in my soul/ I can’t fill it, I can’t fill it/ There’s a hole in my soul/ Can you fill it, can you fill it?/ You have always worn your flaws upon your sleeve/ And I have always buried them deep beneath the ground/ Dig them up; let’s finish what we’ve started/ Dig them up, so nothing’s left unturned/ All of your flaws and all of my flaws/ When they have been exhumed/ We’ll see that we need to be who we are/ Without them we’d be doomed.”

Derek listens to the song, wanting to hear every word and hear everything Stiles can sing to him. Like they did the first song he ever listened to, the words fill the hole in his soul, and he wonders if it just meant all this time he’s been missing Stiles, that Stiles can fill it.

When Stiles finishes, he looks up at Derek, looking for his reaction. Derek just smiles at him, not knowing what else to do or say. “It was the worst song ever,” he tells him.

Stiles just glares at him and sets down his guitar. “You are the worst. You’re not allowed to say that. You’re my boyfriend, and that means you have to be supportive of all that I do.”

Derek grimaces. “I have to? I don’t remember that being in the contract I signed.”

Stiles rolls his eyes and is still glaring at Derek. “I need your honest opinion otherwise this will never work.”

“I don’t have words, Stiles,” Derek answers.

“Then find some!” he shouts.

“No, you don’t get it,” Derek says, grabbing Stiles’ hands. “I don’t have words. The song made me speechless, okay? I can’t say anything about it because nothing I say will be adequate enough for how good the song was.”

Stiles beams at him and then tackles him onto his back. Derek wraps his arms around the younger man’s waist, holding him tightly against his chest. “Hey,” Stiles whispers, less than inch above Derek’s face.

“Come here often?”

“Depends on what kind of come you’re referring to,” Stiles says, waggling his eyebrows suggestively, and Derek just laughs at him.

“You’re an idiot,” Derek tells him.

“I’m your idiot,” Stiles rebuttals, kissing Derek quickly before he can reply.