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Nothing is wrong with Taehyung. It’s just most people can’t catch the frequency of his way of thinking.
Taehyung is just too comfortable with wandering off. With daydreaming. When he’s bored he likes to make up stories, different versions of himself. He’s currently busy with the one where he’s the cool hyung of Bangtan; but his favourite of all (he keeps coming back from time to time) it’s the one where he is the owner of six talking dogs.
Taehyung is aware that it might sound weird, gladly no one can read minds.
Right?
Maybe that one stylist that giggles everytime she takes him back to reality for him to move his head.
He knows Namjoonie spends a lot of time in his own world too, but he gets stressed about it. He sees it in the way he frowns slowly when his staring at nothing, in the way he shakes his head to not get dragged by his own thoughts. Sometimes backrubs and warm smiles are not enough for him. He wishes he could help him a little bit more. Even tight hugs and tender kisses fail sometimes.
He is aware of his weird aura. Seokjin says it is comforting, Hoseok nods in agreement. Jimin says he used to think he was a person hard to reach back in their trainee days. Yoongi said it is like a (an annoying one) magnet, making him interesting to the eye.
(“Or it may be your eyebrows”
“So, I’m not really interesting besides my eyebrows?”
“I never said that. You are actually a box full of surprises”
“Is that good or bad?”
“…”
“Yoongi”
“Good for me. Definitely good”)
Jungkook said he’s like a puppy, you never know what a puppy is going to do next, and still you wanna pet it. Taehyung thinks that is a weird way of put it, but he’s no one to judge.
Jungkook is a black clumsy labrador puppy.
He is aware some people just don’t seem to like him.
He’s really uncomfortable when that fan just skips him. He usually doesn’t care about strangers’ opinions, but he can’t help feeling rejected. Feeling that maybe there is something wrong with him. Luckily, Seokjin is holding his hand, grounding him to earth, making the anxiety back off a little. Maybe Seokjin can read his mind. He smiles a bit.
He smiles a lot more when later Seokjin drags him to his bed. His hands always warm. This is the first time he sleeps there with an actual invitation.
Yoongi joins them for a while the next morning.
He loves art because he doesn’t have to explain himself while doing it. Explanation kills art and Taehyung.
Yoongi teaches him some photography things. It’s really interesting how light works on things; he thinks he’s never been more aware of it. He likes landscaping and portraits the most. He takes pictures of his friends doing domestic stuff in lazy free Sundays. There’s something about mundane activities photography that makes him feel safe. He’s happy he has the most natural state of them immortalized.
“Namjoonie”
“Hm?”
“Is it night the natural state of the universe?”
“What?” asks Hoseok looking at him from his lap.
“Yeah, you know”, Hoseok doesn’t “without the sun there would be just night”
“Well, I think darkness it is more accurate, cause day and night notion is like a human thing” he makes a pause. “But then again, is it really natural for the universe to not have any stars? I’m not even sure if the universe itself is natural”
“What?” asks Hoseok again.
“Well, the universe is just a coincidence, but I don’t think nature does coincidences, is more like trial and error. In any case, the definition of natural, like everything else really, is just a human collective agreement, and, is humanity something compared to the whole universe?”
“So what is the answer?” asks Hoseok again.
“I don’t think there is an answer, actually”
“So, the question is wrong because there’s no natural state for something that’s is beyond human comprehension and existence”
“I guess that’s the best way to put it” says Namjoon, looking absent-minded at the ceiling. “But, do you really think there’s an universe without humans to acknowledge it?”
“I think you two need to stop overthinking”
Taehyung pulled Heoseok’s hair playfully.
“And I think you should sleep already”
Namjoon giggles at Hoseok’s exaggerated yelp.
Jungkook likes his childish looking drawings.
“You really are getting better”
Jungkook likes more earning little kisses from Taehyung. They lick each other faces playfully, ‘cause they are this gross.
“How’s the song doing?” asks Seokjin a little bit worried.
He’s sitting with his head hanging from the couch. Face already read. He doesn’t know how the rap line does this on a daily basis. He just can’t put his thoughts in order, less make them rhyme or sound poetic. He’s starting to feel like a flop.
Seokjin says it’s probably the blood accumulating in his head. He’s dizzy when Seokjin helps him to get up.
“I know talk is cheap Tae, but I think the best songs are the ones that say the truth. Stop trying to write the century’s poem” says Seokjin.
“You just love the ‘I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck’ part”
Seokjin hits his shoulder.
“Hey, don’t expose me like this”
He ends up in Seokjin’s lap with half song written. It’s just a barely coherent string of phrases, but it’s the way he feels. He’s about to wake up Seokjin to show him his progress when he feels a sting of embarrassment. Is it really ok to leave his heart like this in a song? Well, it’s what Namjoonie and Yoongi always do, so it’s totally fine. But they are rappers and he’s not a rapper and maybe he shouldn’t be writing such a sappy song and should try to make something more relatable and catchy and-
He’s going to kill Jimin because he has his notes in his tiny sneaky hands and is quickly reading a part of Taehyung’s soul. He complains but Jimin ignores him. He’s usually open about his feelings, he never doubts when showing affection, but this is different in a way Taehyung can’t describe. This is reading too deep.
“This is so you, Taehyungie”
The sincere smile doesn’t do anything but make him blush more. He wants to hide forever and maybe die.
“What do you mean by that?” says insecure. He doesn’t know why he’s reacting like this. Jimin had always been supportive. He knows Jimin would never make fun of him. They are Chimchim and Taetae, they have each other’s backs. Always.
“It’s oddly specific, but that just the way you are” he says with a smile that kind of melts a bit of Taehyung’s insecurities. “I don’t know how to describe it, but I’m pretty sure Joonie is going to like your verbal diarrhea”
Taehyung laughs a little, feeling stupid but warm inside. Jimin is just too good with him. With all of them. With the entire world. He goes around smiling at everyone, maybe because he knows how helpful is for them to see him smile happily.
There was a time Jimin didn’t smiled that much.
“Who are you waiting?” he asks, voice small. “In the park, I mean”
Seokjin shifts in his sleep.
“I was thinking of you”
Jimin is of all colours. He’s not sure what to do so he just kisses him. Taehyung loves Jimin kisses, and loves the way his small hands caress his neck, keeping him close.
Taehyung loves Hoseok too, but hates him a little when he interrupts them by calling them perverts. They all look at Seokjin sleeping like a rock. He wouldn’t wake up even if there’s an earthquake.
“So, how’s the song?”
Jimin smiles ‘cause he knows Hoseok is going to be so jealous.
Taehyung is aware he seems hard to understand. With his awkward way of talking, because he likes to think of every word so he doesn’t tangle himself. With his shameless fascination for touching his bandmates. But honestly, he is a simple person. He enjoys his members company, he likes art, he likes spending money on unnecessary things. He enjoys his own thoughts.
Most important, he loves the six people that without knowing, know him so well.