Work Text:
“See something that you like over there?”
Dazai glanced at the newcomer out of the corner of his eyes. Naomi was grinning at him suggestively from where she stood next to his desk, arms held behind her back innocently. Dazai pretended to think before gasping in realization.
“OH. Now that you mention it, Naomi-chan, the office does have a very nice beam over there! I’m appalled at myself for having never seen it before. If I’m going to use it though, I’ll have to make sure Kunikida-kun isn’t in the room. Not after what happened last time--” Naomi bopped him on the head, ending his impending tirade. She sighed patiently.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
He did know it. Of course he knew what she was referring to. The only other thing of note in the direction that he’d been staring was Atsushi and Kyouka. The two were having a conversation, Kyouka nodding at something Atsushi said. While the girl wasn’t quite smiling, she was attentive and eager in a way that especially showed around Atsushi. The older detective, meanwhile, was speaking enthusiastically about something that Dazai couldn’t hear, lips upturned happily. The brunette must’ve taken too long, because Naomi started giggling.
“I was referring to a certain tiger ability user over there.”
“Of course I like Atsushi-kun,” Dazai spoke in a dismissive tone. “I like all of you!”
“Yeah, but you don’t look at any of us like that,” Naomi teased, nudging him.
“It was a normal look,” Dazai defended.
“Oh no, Dazai-san. I know that look. I’m very familiar with that look,” the girl grinned, sitting in the seat next to him. “And I’ve only ever seen you stare at Atsushi-kun like that.”
“She does have a point,” Kenji popped up from behind them, sliding over on his chair. Naomi looked positively smug, while Dazai laughed lightly.
“Not you too, Kenji-kun.”
“Sorry,” the blonde apologized, smiling. “It is true the more that I think about it though!”
“See?” Naomi emphasized, “And this has been going on for a while. Why don’t you just ask him out?”
Dazai sent her a look of exaggerated horror, causing her to scoff. “Don’t give me that face. He’d say yes and we all know it. The only one who doesn’t think so is you.”
“Yeah, you shouldn’t look so doubtful, Dazai-san! He’d agree to it!” Kenji told him encouragingly. “Isn’t that right, Tanizaki-kun?”
Junichiro slowly rose from behind another desk, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Dazai blinked. “Just how many of you are hiding back there?” he asked curiously, trying to peer around the wooden surface.
“It was just Kenji-kun and myself. I’m sorry about eavesdropping,” the redhead spoke, peeking at Naomi subtly. Ah, Dazai realized, so they were her backup. “Oh! They’re both right though. Atsushi-kun would accept, if that helps at all.”
Dazai shook his head, finding humor in the situation. “While I do appreciate the moral support, I wouldn’t know how to go about asking.”
“Why is that?” Junichiro asked curiously, taking his own seat next to the three. “You’ve asked plenty of women if they’d be interested in doing a double suicide with you. I don’t see how that can be any more nerve wracking than this.”
“That’s different,” Dazai waved off.
“How so?” Kenji asked, tilting his head. Dazai hesitated in answering, glancing at the silver haired boy in question. Naomi caught his gaze, and understanding hit her when she saw the look in his eyes. A delighted, proud grin split her features as she turned to look between the two.
“Aww,” she cooed quietly.
“What? Do you know what he meant?” Junichiro whispered to her, both Kenji and himself leaning forward.
“Yes. It’s different,” she sighed, causing the two boys to look at each other confused.
“That’s exactly what Dazai-san already said though,” Kenji pointed out. Junichiro shrugged, clueless.
“Alright Dazai-san. If you’re that worried, I think I have an idea,” Naomi started, bringing the attention to her. “How about pickup lines?” The three men paused.
“Pickup lines?” Kenji repeated.
“Naomi-chan, out of all of the ways you could have me ask Atsushi-kun out, you suggest pickup lines?” Dazai asked for verification, a playful lilt to his voice.
“Why not? You’ve used them before, they’re casual enough, and Atsushi-kun has probably never had them used on him before. So even if he were to reject you which, come on,” she started, raising her eyebrows at him, “then maybe he’d be flattered anyway and make it painless.”
“It couldn’t hurt,” Tanizaki spoke up hesitantly. “And even if these don’t work, this could be a buildup to you asking him out properly.”
“Ooh! And you can always use really funny lines! Those are the best,” Kenji piped up eagerly.
“No way, they need to be sweet!” Naomi argued. The duo faced Junichiro, who started sweating.
“Um...how about both?” he offered.
Dazai thought over this idea. It was true he did have experience with this sort of situation, having used those sort of lines on women he’d wanted to either strangle him or commit suicide with. Pickup lines could also be seen as something playful, so if he lost his nerve when using them on Atsushi, he could always say that he was just messing around. More importantly, this could give him an idea as to whether or not Atsushi potentially liked him back. He supposed the trio next to him were right to push him on this. It was better than not knowing.
“Alright,” he agreed, smiling at his coworkers. “I’ll give it a shot.” Naomi and Kenji both immediately started cheering, with Junichiro voicing his approval more quietly.
“Atsushi,” Kyouka began, tugging on the boy’s sleeve to catch his attention. “What do you think they’re all doing over there?”
Atsushi looked at where she was pointing. In another corner of the room was Dazai, Kenji, Junichiro, and Naomi. The younger three were talking about something excitedly with the former, who was laughing as he tried to keep up with their overlapping voices.
“Huh, I don’t know,” Atsushi admitted, smiling nervously down at her. “Let’s just hope it’s not for something out of the ordinary.” Kyouka nodded her agreement.
***************
After going through his options, Dazai finally found some pickup lines that he considered to be good enough. And in the event that Atsushi didn’t like him back (which he was preparing himself for) maybe he would at least think the advances were funny. If there was a rejection, then hopefully the boy would make it a painless death. Deciding to go and put his plan into action, Dazai walked over to Atsushi. The other’s back was to him as he was busy organizing papers, and Dazai tapped his shoulder. The boy turned, smiling once he saw who it was.
“Oh, good morning, Dazai-san,” he greeted.
Dazai smiled in return, “Good morning.”
“Is there something that you need, or did you come over to say hi?” Atsushi asked curiously, setting his work to the side as he set his attention on Dazai. The man could feel himself growing warmer for what he was about to say, but he let nothing show.
“Actually, there’s something that I wanted to ask you,” he began.
Atsushi straightened in his seat, a more serious look on his face. “What is it?”
Even after all the time he was here and after getting to know the others, he still looked so eager to prove himself. As though he thought Dazai were actually about to ask him for help on a work related task. Dazai grinned at the cute reaction, using this to his advantage. He braced one hand on the surface of the desk, leaning down until he was closer to Atsushi. The boy blinked, and Dazai could swear that he saw a pink tinge on the other’s face. He opened his mouth to say something, but Dazai beat him to it.
“Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?” he asked, now awaiting Atsushi’s reaction. The boy’s mouth closed as he frowned, confusion written on his face.
“What are you talking about, Dazai-san? You already know my name,” Atsushi reminded him. Dazai blinked. That wasn’t the response he’d been anticipating.
“And ‘mine’ isn’t really much of a name either,” the boy continued. “Are you sure that there isn’t something else you need to ask?”
Dazai stood back up fully, smiling at Atsushi. “No, that was all. I’ll let you get back to work then~” he spoke, raising a hand over his shoulder at his departure. Atsushi waved back, eyes skeptical as he studied Dazai’s retreating back. With nothing else to do though, he returned to his paperwork.
Dazai sat at his own desk, pretending to get to work for Kunikida’s sake. He gazed at Atsushi every so often, examining the boy. While it hadn’t been an outright rejection, it also hadn’t been a response he’d seen coming. To make things weirder, Atsushi hadn’t even acted like he’d used a pickup line on him. He’d just answered as seriously as he did with almost every other interaction in his life. Had he just ignored the flirtatious line? But then, Atsushi wouldn’t do that either. No matter what the answer would be, he’d be concise and respond. That’s just how he was. Dazai hummed quietly, resting his chin thoughtfully against his palms. Maybe that hadn’t been the best line to use. No matter, there was more to come.
***************
“At-su-shi-kun~” Dazai sang, sneaking up behind the boy and placing his hands on his shoulders. The other didn’t jump like Dazai expected him to, only paused in what he was doing.
“Yes?” he asked, turning over his shoulder to look at Dazai. The brunette chuckled.
“Hey, you’re getting better at that.”
“I’m getting used to it,” Atsushi smiles, “it does help that you try to sneak up on me nearly every day.”
“Have to keep you aware of your surroundings, after all,” Dazai nodded wisely, drawing a humored sigh from Atsushi.
“I’m pretty sure you just enjoy freaking me out,” the other countered, making Dazai gasp dramatically.
“I would never do such a thing for that reason. Besides, I do it to the others as well.”
“True,” Atsushi agreed, “but not nearly as often as you do to me.”
‘That’s because your reactions are cuter’ Dazai thought to himself.
“That can’t be helped. The others aren’t as understanding as you are. The last time I tried to keep Kunikida-kun aware, he started scolding me,” the brunette explained, clearing his throat.
“Dazai you childish waste of bandages! The office is no place for your foolish antics! We are now 2.5 seconds behind schedule and, for this, I must now hammer into that thick skull of yours the importance of responsibility and ideals!” the older man yelled in a voice incredibly similar to that of his partner. Atsushi tried to contain his amusement at first, but he couldn’t help it as Dazai continued. He ended up laughing, causing Dazai to immediately focus his attention on him.
“That sounds like Kunikida-san, alright. That actually wasn’t a bad imitation,” the boy grinned, causing Dazai’s heart to melt. It wasn’t often that Atsushi would really laugh, but any time he did it was always a treasure. Dazai especially prized the moments where he was the one to make Atsushi laugh, drawing the happy sound out of him. Atsushi stopped a few seconds later, an entertained smile still on his face as he reverted his attention back to Dazai. The other male was gazing at him softly, the corners of his lips tilted upwards. Atsushi paused, unused to being on the receiving end of such a tender expression.
“Is everything OK?” he asked curiously. Dazai hummed his affirmation.
“Yes, I was just thinking that you’re very similar to a cat. Since you’re both purrfect,” Dazai explained, putting particular emphasis on the ‘purr’. Yosano, who’d just been walking by, stifled a giggle at his display. Dazai ignored this in favor of Atsushi, whose face became deadpan.
“Was that a joke about my ability?” the boy asked suspiciously, making Dazai blink.
“What? No, that’s not what I-”
“Because I keep telling you guys, it’s not very funny,” Atsushi sighed. Dazai floundered, trying to explain that wasn’t how he meant it. Yosano, hiding her smirk behind her hand, decided to assist.
“Hey, Atsushi, would you help me find Kunikida? I had something that I needed to discuss with him, but I’m not sure where he went.”
Atsushi straightened his back as he remembered something, “Sure. I think I remember seeing him in one of the hallways downstairs. I’ll go check,” he said, leaving the room. Dazai sighed as Yosano walked over to him.
“Thanks for that.”
“Don’t mention it,” the woman brushed off, resting her arm against Dazai’s shoulder. “Naomi told me what’s been going on. Pickup lines, eh?”
“Yes. I’ve only tried twice now, but neither attempt seemed to work. You just saw this one,” Dazai groaned. Yosano grinned next to him.
“To be fair, a cat-themed pickup line on the tiger ability user probably wasn’t the best route to take.”
“I thought it was funny,” the brunette muttered, pouting slightly.
“Maybe, but perhaps you should try finding some different lines. Something more flattering or romantic. If Atsushi really hasn’t had these kinds of lines used on him before, then maybe he just needs a more obvious indication that you want to date him,” Yosano suggested. Dazai hummed to himself, tapping his finger against his chin.
“I could do that,” he smiled gratefully at the other.
“Good,” Yosano responded, patting his back. She started to walk away before turning back to face him once more.
“If you ask me, it’s about time one of you tried something. Neither of you are especially subtle,” the doctor smirked, waving a hand as she departed.
Dazai sighed wearily, eyebrow raised as he smiled in amusement. “How many times am I going to hear that?”
***************
“Atsushi-kun,” Dazai started, throwing an arm over the boy’s shoulders. The younger male gazed up at him, not making an attempt to remove the arm around him.
“Do you need something Dazai-san? I’m already running an errand for Kunikida-san, but I can help afterwards,” the boy offered.
“Oh no, I don’t need help with anything, but I do have a question,” Dazai began, grinning down at the other. “How does it feel to be the most beautiful person in the room?”
He could feel the force behind Naomi and Yosano’s smiles, even if he couldn’t see them himself. Thankfully, neither of them commented on his words, even if Dazai felt the pair’s eyes boring into them from where they sat. Atsushi frowned, raising an eyebrow.
“I’m not though,” he denied, walking forward. He made sure to keep in contact with Dazai though, and the man tsked disapprovingly as he held the door open for them.
“Don’t be ridiculous, of course you are! You’re the most beautiful person in any room!” he argued. Atsushi shook his head as he stepped away from Dazai, closing the door to the office.
“It’s very flattering, and I appreciate the compliment, but it’s not true. Especially not right now.”
Dazai was about to check off every reason that Atsushi is wrong, when it occurred to him exactly what Atsushi said. Dazai checked behind himself just in case, before turning back to Atsushi, a questioning look on his face.
“But it’s only the two of us in the hallway,” he stated, gesturing between the two. Atsushi paused, and only then did the implications behind his words hit him. He blushed a bright red, mouth dropping open.
“Oh, I...Well, I mean that’s exactly why...Y-you know, because you’re a lot more...I just meant that...It’s just that you’re really pret – um! I just remembered that I need to deliver these papers!” he managed to avoid finishing, clutching the files to his chest as he looked away. He turned sharply on his heel, rushing down the corridor.
He left Dazai there, gaping and with his own flushed cheeks. Well, Atsushi had been affected alright, but his pickup line wasn’t supposed to ricochet like THIS. The man placed a hand to his face, the heat emanating from his skin as he glared at the wall. No one should be allowed to be that cute.
“Dammit, Atsushi-kun. I’m supposed to be the one charming you.”
***************
“Atsushi-kun.”
The boy jumped slightly, turning to face Dazai anxiously. Ever since his roundabout compliment, he appeared to be more nervous and embarrassed around Dazai. A blush was present on his cheeks, and his eyes flickered to his face shyly. The man found the behavior adorable, but right now he wanted that reaction to stem from something different. He smiled, hoping to alleviate some of the other’s tension.
“I was just wondering, do you have a band aid?” Atsushi instantly lost his sheepish edge, studying Dazai worriedly.
“Were you hurt somewhere?” the boy asked, walking over to him and doing a quick surveillance.
“Oh, it’s nothing terrible. I just scraped my knee falling for you,” Dazai said, looking at Atsushi meaningfully as he leaned forward.
“Your knee?” Atsushi asked for clarification. He studied each of Dazai’s knees in turn from where he stood, tilting his head. “I wouldn’t have guessed that you’d fallen anywhere, but I’ll try to find you one. I can try asking Yosano-sensei is she has any.”
Dazai blinked. Surely he wasn’t serious. “No, no, that’s not-”
“Actually, she’s probably the last person that you want finding out you’re injured, huh?” Atsushi mused to himself, turning around. “Never mind, I’ll try asking Kunikida-san. I’ll be back in a moment!”
Dazai was left there as the boy exited the room, off to find bandages that he didn’t even need. Was Atsushi that oblivious, or was he truly just ignoring the fact that Dazai was trying to let him know that he liked him? It seemed as if he either purposely omitted the flirtatious edge to Dazai’s actions, or didn’t notice them altogether. Dazai sat back on his chair, pursing his lips. He was going to get an answer one way or another.
***************
Dazai looked up whenever Atsushi walked into the room. He waited until the boy was in earshot before calling his name. Atsushi looked back at who it was before walking closer. “What is it?”
“I’m afraid that you owe me a drink, Atsushi-kun,” Dazai spoke, making sure to sigh at the end, shrugging helplessly. Atsushi stared back at him in confusion.
“What? Why?”
Dazai smirked next, winking at the boy. “Because whenever I looked at you, I dropped mine.”
There was no way he could misconstrue that as anything other than flirtatious. Atsushi blinked, tilting his head. “But isn’t that your drink right there?” he questioned, pointing to the plastic cup on Dazai’s desk.
The brunette stared at Atsushi with dead eyes before turning his gaze towards the cup. He reached down slowly and grabbed it around the rim, lifting it up. He turned his body to face Atsushi before looking into his eyes. He then very obviously and on purpose dropped the cup. Atsushi’s mouth dropped open as the water splashed to the floor.
“What the–Dazai-san!”
“Whoops!” the man responded enthusiastically.
“That better not have been coffee, Dazai,” rang Kunikida’s warning voice. “Either way, you’re cleaning it up.”
Dazai pouted, sending a halfhearted glare Kunikida’s way. The man never looked away from his monitor. The blonde had to have the worst timing. He didn’t get to see Atsushi’s response. Although he supposed that was his own fault for having to make the situation so literal. He sighed, now setting to work on cleaning up his mess to appease the other. Oh well, he could try again later. Still, he might not have gotten Atsushi to react positively yet, but it did fill him with affection for the boy whenever he got him a replacement cup of water after he was done. The action coaxed a laugh from Dazai, and Atsushi’s own tentative smile in return.
***************
“Atsushi-kun.”
The younger detective was slightly startled as he was forcibly spun around in his chair, turned to face Dazai. He looked up at the brunette questioningly, who was still holding onto the armrests of his seat.
“Yeah? What is it?”
The rest of the workers, who were all completely aware of what was going on now, were all listening in from the other side of the room. They were pretending to continue their work for his benefit, but Dazai paid their presence no mind. A week. An entire week of pickup lines. After this, he would cease the entire operation. He’d have fulfilled his promise to try, and he’d done his best with it. Atsushi hadn’t said a word in response to any of his attempts, so this would be the final one. He leaned in closer, flustering Atsushi with the close proximity.
“I’m not a photographer, but I can picture the two of us together,” Dazai told him, causing Atsushi to look at him confused.
“Of course you can.”
The other male blinked, “What?”
“We’re together all the time, of course you can picture it,” Atsushi explained, smiling lightly. “Like right now. Everyone else is here too. We’re all together.”
Dazai removed himself from Atsushi’s chair, chuckling. “I suppose that you’re right.”
“It was a weird thing to bring up all of a sudden though,” Atsushi commented.
“Ah, well, you know me,” Dazai dismissed, grinning. Atsushi tilted his head, not noticing the others quietly groaning at his lack of a proper reaction. Ranpo was staring at the two from his desk, and he opened his mouth when Atsushi decided to stand up.
“Hey, Atsushi,” Ranpo called to the boy, causing both him and Dazai to look over. “Your pants look really nice today.”
Dazai paused, wondering where the older detective was going with this. Atsushi, meanwhile, looked confused, but he offered the other a small smile regardless.
“Oh, um, thank you?” he responded, question marks almost visible in the air around him.
“You’re welcome. But you know, they’d probably look even better on the floor of Dazai’s room,” Ranpo stated, completely nonchalant. Atsushi sputtered immediately, face rivaling that of a ruby. His mouth opened and closed, and he looked at Ranpo with wide eyes. Dazai on the other hand was studying the older detective almost appreciatively, hands slipping into his pockets.
“Are you flirting with Atsushi-kun for me?”
“Flirting?” Atsushi squeaked, going unnoticed by the others in the room.
“Well someone has to. You’ve been doing a terrible job at it,” Ranpo commented, taking a sip of his drink. Dazai huffed.
“I’ve been trying, but it hasn’t worked the way I wanted it to.”
“Hence why I said: terrible job,” the detective remarked, causing Dazai to pout.
“H-hold on!” Atsushi interjected, bringing the attention of the occupants in the room to himself. He was still flushed pink, and he looked back and forth between Dazai and Ranpo helplessly. “What are you even talking about? Were you – when were you flirting?”
Dazai’s mouth dropped open. “Did you seriously not notice?” he asked incredulously. “I’ve been making passes at you for the last couple of days!”
“I know there were a couple of strange comments here and there, but I didn’t think it meant anything!”
“That was it! That was when I was flirting with you!”
“Those were flirting attempts?” Atsushi exclaimed, eyes wide and looking shocked. Yosano and Naomi exchanged glances and together they both stood up.
“Well! I think it would do us well to get some fresh air. Come on, brother!” Naomi said enthusiastically, grabbing the unsuspecting boy by the arm. “You too, Kenji-kun!”
“Aww, but I wanted to see what happens,” the blonde protested, dutifully following after the two anyway.
“I believe fresh air could do us all some good. What do you say, Ranpo-san?” Yosano smiled brightly, turning to the other.
“Pfft, no way. They’re the ones with the romantic dilemma, make them relocate,” the man argued, lounging back in his chair. A hand slammed itself onto the surface of his desk, causing the three men in the room to jump. Yosano’s smile turned decidedly wicked, a glint now appearing in her eyes.
“Actually, with how slow things have been today, I think I’d prefer to go shopping. That sounds like a much better idea. Would you care to accompany me with that instead?” she purred, tone deceptively sugary sweet.
Ranpo was already springing out of his chair, demeanor completely composed as he crossed his arms behind his head.
“Now that I think about it, I could actually go for some donuts right now. I remember seeing them in the break room,” he commented offhandedly, leading the way. Yosano smirked, following after him.
“I thought you might say that,” she spoke, maneuvering her body to wave at Atsushi and Dazai before she closed the door. The duo were left in the quiet of the office before Dazai started chuckling.
“I know they all said that they were supportive, but I didn’t know it would be to this extent,” he murmured to himself. He faced Atsushi, studying the boy’s expression. His face showed a lack of understanding mixed in with a hint of growing horror. Dazai forced a lopsided grin.
“Are you angry or anything, now that you know?” Atsushi’s head snapped up, turning widened eyes on Dazai.
“Huh? Oh! No, no, I’m not! I’m jut going over everything. I had no idea that you were flirting with me...” he explained, voice softening at the end as though he couldn’t believe it. He peeked back at Dazai hesitantly. “You said you’d been doing it for the past couple of days?”
“I’ve been using pickup lines on you for the past week,” Dazai pointed out. “How did you not notice?”
Atsushi blinked at the words. He tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowing questioningly. “Pickup lines? What are those?”
The room became instantly silent. Atsushi glanced worriedly at Dazai, who was gaping at him. The boy bit his lip. “Is it something I should know about?”
Dazai continued to stare. A snicker managed to escape, and after a moment he was laughing. Naomi had been right, he’d really never had pickup lines used on him before. Atsushi had now upgraded a level beyond that though; he didn’t even know what they were. Dazai couldn’t believe he hadn’t even considered that before. It explained his lack of response to everything. At the very least, now he knew that the other hadn’t just been ignoring his advances. He hadn’t recognized it as such. Atsushi frowned as Dazai now quieted down to weak chuckles, wiping at his eyes.
“This isn’t just a joke or anything, is it?”
Dazai shook his head, taking a breath as he managed to calm down.
“No, that isn’t the case at all. I wasn’t laughing at you, I just found the situation very funny,” Dazai explained, plopping his hand onto the boy’s head. “Pickup lines are just another way of flirting. They’re a way to let someone know you’re interested, but in a more humorous way. A way to break the ice in some cases. It all depends on the kind of line you use.”
Realization came to Atsushi, and he pointed at Dazai weakly. “But...you’ve been using them on me this entire week,” he pointed out.
“That’s right,” Dazai nodded.
“S-so...you um...you were trying to ‘show interest’?” Atsushi asked, cheeks tinted pink.
“Yes. You can blame Naomi-chan for the actual idea, but the intent behind it is still the same,” Dazai informed him calmly.
It was Atsushi’s turn to gape at the other as he tried to wrap his head around the entire situation. All this time, Dazai had essentially been trying to ask him out? To show that he had an interest in Atsushi? The idea was a strange one, but it did explain Dazai’s behavior the last couple of days. The lines he used were starting to make a lot more sense. This also meant that Atsushi hadn’t been giving the correct responses whenever the lines were used on him. Was that the same as him rejecting Dazai’s advances? Perhaps not, since the other had merely continued on as though nothing were wrong. Had he truly been that strongly invested in the idea of a relationship with him? Some of the lines he’d used had been very sweet, too. Atsushi felt himself blushing as he remembered them. It all seemed so obvious now. How could he not have known? It he had, he definitely would have--
A finger poked his forehead, bringing him out of his thoughts. He glanced up at Dazai, who was smiling at him in amusement.
“You’re thinking too loudly. I can hear you worrying in there,” he teased. His expression grew more serious as he moved closer to Atsushi. “Now that you’re aware of everything, what do you have to say about it?”
Atsushi swallowed, not daring to look away from Dazai’s face. He had an air of patience and acceptance about him, as though he wouldn’t be upset no matter what Atsushi’s answer is. But the boy could see the unease in the other’s chocolate colored eyes, see that he was anxious about the outcome. That he actually worried over what Atsushi would say. Atsushi could feel himself growing nervous as well, but he also felt relieved in a way. Dazai really wanted to date him. This wasn’t some joke like he’d feared a moment ago. He actually liked him. Atsushi took a second to collect himself. He then opened his mouth, preparing to answer.
“Kunikida! You can’t go in there right now!”
“We have work that needs to be done, regardless of how slow the day is! I don’t understand why you lot are gathered out here in the hallway!” the man exclaimed, coming into the room with Naomi and Yosano hanging from around his middle, trying to drag him back. He glanced at the only occupants in the room, blinking.
“I also don’t see what’s so urgent. It’s only those two in here.”
“Kunikida-san,” Naomi groaned, resting her hand on her cheek.
Dazai took a step back from Atsushi, chuckling. “I think Kunikida-kun might even be as oblivious as you with some things, Atsushi-kun,” the man teased playfully.
“Hah? And what’s that supposed to mean?” the blonde in question demanded.
“Oh nothing~” Dazai cooed, waving his hand in a placating fashion. Kunikida made a noise in response, unconvinced.
“Just get back to your jobs, all of you,” he sighed, heading towards his desk.
“Sure, sure,” Dazai imitated the other by sighing. He started to walk away before Atsushi grabbed his hand, making him look back curiously.
“Wait, I never got to answer,” he reminded the other, nervous despite being the one to bring it up. Dazai smiled, patting the other’s shoulder.
“I can wait. We can always talk about it later. Besides, I’d rather not have that nosy bunch listening in next time,” he remarked dryly, turning blank eyes onto the faces peeking around the door frame. Kenji waved at them cheerfully, while Junichiro had the decency to look apologetic.
“What? We gave you simulated privacy. Isn’t that enough?” Ranpo huffed indignantly.
Dazai shook his head, returning to Atsushi. “So don’t bother yourself with it now. You can answer whenever you’d like.”
Atsushi nodded, hiding his disappointment. “Alright.”
They didn’t get a chance to talk once they were free to go home though. Atsushi had disappeared as soon as the day was over, and no one had even seen him leave. Dazai understood that he might need time to organize his thoughts and feelings before he felt he would be able to properly answer, but he still couldn’t help the disappointment that this left in him. He’d thought Atsushi seemed positive enough about the knowledge that Dazai was interested in him, but he could have been wrong. He at least hoped that this meant that the other wouldn’t avoid him. He still wanted to remain friends with Atsushi, if nothing else. With little else to do then wait for Atsushi to come around himself, Dazai left for home.
***************
Dazai awoke to a soft knock at his door a few hours later, blinking his eyes open unwillingly. He turned over onto his side and reached blindly for his phone. He flipped it open once he found it, glaring against the light that blared at him. 12:08 AM. What on earth could anyone want at this time? It couldn’t be a sudden assignment, or else he would’ve gotten a call from the agency. So what was it? Another rap at his door forced him up, this one even more quiet than before. He opened the door, not expecting to see Atsushi there.
“Atsushi-kun?” Dazai started, rubbing the sleep out of his eye. “What are you doing here this late?”
The boy looked apologetic at having woken him up, and he opened his mouth to say something. He stopped before any words could come out, and he looked up at Dazai anxiously. He was clutching a sheet of paper in his hands so tightly that the edges were starting to wrinkle. Dazai grew more concerned as he watched his subordinate, wondering if something was wrong.
“Is everything alright?” Atsushi swallowed, biting his lip.
“I-I’m sorry. You...you’re just so b-beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.”
Silence greeted his words as Dazai processed just what happened. His eyes widened, now much more alert than before. “You...wait a moment, are you-?”
“Sorry, was the delivery OK?” Atsushi asked self-consciously, cheeks colored pink. “I’ve never had to do this before, so I don’t know if it was or not.”
Knowing what he was doing, and knowing now what the paper is for, Dazai smiled and shook his head. “Atsushi-kun, you don’t have to worry about this anymore. And you certainly don’t have to force yourself to get through pickup lines if it’s embarrassing for you.”
“But when you were using them before, I didn’t react correctly.”
“That’s because you didn’t know-”
“I do now, though!” Atsushi told him, holding up his list. “I did some research and looked up some of the ones that I thought you might like. Since you used so many of them and I didn’t respond like I should have, I figured I’d return the favor. Plus, since you said they’re used to convey an interest in someone and...uh, well...”
Dazai couldn’t help the affectionate smile that grew. Only Atsushi would go to this much trouble for him. Especially for a subject that most would consider so ridiculous. He could feel his heart warming at the prospect, butterflies fluttering at his explanation. A thought occurred to him, and he glanced at Atsushi questioningly. “You haven’t been doing this ever since we left the agency, have you?”
Atsushi blinked innocently. “No. I ate dinner with Kyouka-chan, too,” he stated, causing Dazai to shake his head in amusement.
“It would be pretty rude of me to not at least listen after you’ve gone to all that trouble then,” he declared, leaning against his door frame. He gestured encouragingly with his hand, “If you’re sure you don’t mind.”
“I don’t,” Atsushi assured him, checking the paper in his hands determinedly. His expression instantly became nervous again, his blush darkening. “Ah...If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put ‘U’ and ‘I’ together,” he began, before rushing on to the next line. “Your heart stops when you sneeze. It’s kind of like what happens when I think of you.
Dazai’s gaze softened, his lips forming into a tender smile. If that was the case, then he could say with absolute certainty that Atsushi wasn’t the only one.
“If I had a star for every time you brightened my day...I-I’d have a galaxy in my hand,” Atsushi finished, hiding his face behind the paper. “These didn’t seem nearly as embarrassing when I was looking them up.” The brunette chuckled quietly in response, spurring Atsushi back to his activity.
“I’m not an organ donor, but I’d be glad to give you my heart anyway...” Atsushi trailed off, voice nearly inaudible by the end. Dazai still heard him loud and clear. He reached his hand forward, caressing the top of Atsushi’s head. The boy jumped, peering up at him questioningly. Dazai smiled at him sincerely, running his fingers gently through the silver tresses.
“That seems only fair. After all, you’ve already stolen mine.”
Atsushi’s eyes widened, and a blush spread furiously across his face. He ducked his head behind his list, hiding once more. “O-oh, um...O-OK! Here’s one I thought you might appreciate: If I were a cat, I’d spend all nine lives with you.”
“But isn’t Atsushi-kun already basically a giant cat?” Dazai asked innocently, a smirk on his face.
“It’s still not funny,” Atsushi countered. He was peeking over the edge of the paper though, eyes crinkled in amusement despite his words.
“Perhaps not, but it does hold some level of truth. And I for one like to make sure that my subordinates follow through on their promises. So I suppose this means that we’ll be spending all of your nine cat lives together. You’re now stuck with me,” Dazai explained, gesturing with his arms out cheerfully. Atsushi looked up in surprise, mouth dropping open.
“You mean...You’d be alright with that?” the boy asked, far too disbelieving for Dazai’s liking.
“Of course. If I expect you to follow through, it’s only fitting that I do the same. Now, I have a question for you,” Dazai began, reaching forward and plucking Atsushi’s list from his fingers. With nothing to hide behind, Atsushi was forced to stay rooted to the spot in surprise. Dazai leaned in closer, placing his hand gently on the other’s shoulder.
“Are you going to kiss me, or do I have to lie to my journal later?” Atsushi’s breath hitched, his cheeks turning red.
“I-Is that another one of your pickup lines?” the younger man asked, shifting his feet nervously. Dazai smiled, tucking a lock of hair behind the other’s ear.
“I suppose that all depends on you.”
Atsushi swallowed, gaze flitting to Dazai’s mouth. He raised his hands into the air where they hovered, uncertain of where to go. He moved them forward until they clenched the fabric of Dazai’s sleep shirt. He looked up to meet Dazai’s eyes, expression nervous but resolute.
“Well I wouldn’t want to make a liar out of you...” he explained.
Dazai’s smile widened, and he moved to press a kiss against Atsushi’s forehead. He placed another kiss on the younger man’s cheek, and then a small peck at the corner of his mouth. He pulled back just enough to give Atsushi time to back away. The boy moved forward instead, connecting their lips. They both closed their eyes, leaning more into it. It was little more than a chaste brushing of their lips, but it created a lingering feeling that they both cherished once they pulled back. Atsushi removed one of his hands from Dazai’s shirt, hiding his blushing cheeks and radiant smile behind his palm. Dazai bit back his own grin, kissing the top of Atsushi’s head.
“I might have to go out and buy a journal now, just for that,” he commented lightly. His remark caused Atsushi to giggle, a delighted, pleased sound.
“Me too,” the boy confessed. Dazai chuckled in response.
“I do have one more thing to ask you,” he said. Atsushi looked over at him curiously.
“Yeah?”
The brunette grinned, “You never did answer to my first pickup line,” he reminded.
“The first one?” Atsushi blinked, gazing upwards as he tried to remember the various lines used. He lifted up his hand, counting off on his fingers. “Let’s see, there was the cat...the band aid...the photographer one...the drink...”
Dazai reached out to grab a hold of the other’s hand, bringing his recollection to a stop. He smiled fondly at the other. “I already know your name, but can I still call you mine regardless?”
Atsushi’s face turned pink, and he turned his head away sheepishly. “As long as I’m allowed to do the same thing to you,” he compromised.
Dazai grinned excitedly. “It’s settled then,” he declared. He wrapped his arms around Atsushi’s waist, lifting him into the air and causing him to let out a startled squeal.
“Wha-hey! D-Dazai-san, put me down!” the younger man exclaimed, face warming in embarrassment. Dazai tightened his hold, taking care to keep Atsushi from falling. His smile was mischievous as he turned it towards Atsushi, but his arms were gentle. As though he were holding something precious in his grasp.
“No way,” the brunette denied, “we agreed; my Atsushi-kun now.”
Atsushi’s face grew darker in color, and he gasped as Dazai began to turn, spinning Atsushi in his arms. The boy grabbed onto Dazai’s shoulders to keep steady, releasing a startled laugh. Dazai’s smile grew at the sound, feeling his heart beating faster in his chest. Right now he didn’t care that it was past midnight. He didn’t care that this might be odd to anyone watching. He didn’t even care that they could possibly wake up the other members of the agency. Right now, the only thing that mattered was the boy in his arms, and the sound of his laughter as they continued to spin. For Dazai, that was a song that he wished would never end.