Chapter Text
Lights; royal blues and bubble gum pinks illuminate the stage as the instrumentalists either side of him begin the prelude to Awake. Surely, this would be the last time.
x
Flower petals, pastel pinks filling an empty baby blue sky, falling, and squashed- plastered to the concrete sidewalk accompanied Seokjin’s first walk back to school. A steadily warming but a still cool early March, which had brought annual skiing trips with his family, endless days spent at binging dramas, bundled in blankets with Jjangu, drinking sickly sweet hot chocolates with old friends and chattering meaninglessly, had also brought along his final year of high school. Sleepless nights, early mornings, the never-ending increasing complexity of content, and at the end of it all the exams that would dictate his future.
But Seokjin was still rosy cheeked, bright eyed and simmered with a nervous anticipation of the new year as the first day came.
The finer details are still hazy.
The first half of the day had breezily gone by, attending classes like history, Korean language and English at which he excelled at, enjoyed even.
But eventually, 5 o’ clock had to come. And reluctantly, Seokjin found himself dragging his feet along to the last class before dinner. Mathematics.
"Seokjin have I finally gone batshit or do I see you actually headed in the direction of the maths department?" His closest friend, Lee Yujeong, a stocky boy with puffy cheeks and a wry smile called out to him from the other side of the hall before jogging his way over.
“says what you know about me" Seokjin smirked a little, watching Yujeong’s eyes roll into the back of his head
"Funny. Careers adviser right?" The schools’ careers adviser had been convincing when offering him to take a general mathematics course, the logic being ‘if he couldn’t get into his arts course, he still had a mathematic understanding which would allow him into other options.’
"Well good luck, i'll see you at dinner" His friend said curtly, holding up a hand before hurrying to his next class. Seokjin couldn't help but watch enviously as Yujeong was going in the other direction; to the music department as he was going towards his own personal asylum. Because not only did Seokjin dislike maths with every fibre of his being, he was ultimately hopeless at it. Had always been. The numbers made no sense, the problems where too complex and the formulas where confusing and difficult to remember when applying them to a question.
The class was surprisingly full, and probably over capacity judging from the fact that some students had to drag chairs and tables along the wooden classroom floor from adjacent rooms just so they could sit down.
"Good afternoon." The teacher interrupted and the general chatter in the class which died down instantly. "I'm aware that most of you are here with little mathematic understanding, which sets us a bit behind the courses syllabus. However, this is more of a remedial class, it will get you prepared for the final exam at the end of the year which will qualify you for a lot of other degrees outside of your preferred course. I’m sure many of you know this." The teacher paused and motioned for a student to stand up the front with him. "This year, to help us catch up, and get ahead we will be using extra help. This is Jo Eun-Jae, an eleventh grade student who will be helping with any questions any of you have. He is one of the brightest in the schools advanced maths courses, so please ask him your questions respectfully." The teacher concluded and Eunjae bowed slightly in front of the class, his eyes darting around the room then lowing his head shyly, before sitting down, allowing the teacher beginning to explain that days content.
Seokjin thinks it was the hair that started it. His attention from the teachers already dreary voice captured by his hair. It was so much unlike his own sleek, pin straight locks. Thick and curly, remaining its natural black colour in adherence to school rules, his bangs obscured his eyebrows and partially covered his eyes, which where dark and sharp, his nose strong, and his lips small, humble, a muted pale pink. His cheekbones were high and angled his face nicely , and his jaw was harsher than Seokjin's, more unforgiving. But maybe the most noticeable to Seokjin, was his dark complexion.
Ironic, considering the media’s and his own parents push about the desire of having lighter skin. But there was something glowing and shiny about his darker skin, with it's strong yellow undertone and beauty marks that littered his face and what he could see of his neck and lower arms from under his faded white school shirt.
....It wasn’t like Seokjin purposefully stared (gawked at the poor kid), more like he really couldn't help but look. And it certainly wasn’t like Seokjin was taken aback or anything…he was just.. used to being the most attractive in the room. He was used to lingering glances and random complements, but Eunjae could certainly rival him for that attention.
It left Seokjin feeling breathless. For all the wrong reasons.
His mouth had become sort of dry and his heart rate had quickened despite no physical activity.
But no.
there was no way he… could even consider that he thought Eunjae was attractive. He didn’t even know any people who were like ...that. It was ridiculous to even think about.
Yet for the first time in his life Seokjin felt a strange and urging involuntary impulsive need to show off, to flaunt his sexuality.
"So... which problem couldn't you solve?" Seokjin had involuntarily sat up straighter as Eunjae sat down next to him on one of the now free seats at the desk. Seokjin smiled slightly, it was one he used often with adults and friends alike. One that got him whatever he wanted.
what am i doing? Seokjin asked himself uselessly, unable to stop whatever physical reaction was happening in his body. The other boy, however, seemed to pay no attention to any change in Seokjin's body language.
"14" Jin eventually answered roughly, mouth dry, remembering he had called for help with mathematics. Eunjae nodded and scanned the paper, eyes sharp, flitting between the questions.
"hmmm... well all the working looks good to me...oh!" Eunjae had lent over Seokjin's desk to grab a pen, the scent of his aftershave- or maybe it was deodorant, was simple- fresh and fragrant but somehow intoxicating and it had coiled itself around Seokjin’s neck and stuffed itself up into his nose, Seokjin had no choice but to inhale as he watched Eunjae scribbled a few marks on the page. "You just mistook the -1 for a +1 in the question, and consequently all your values where incorrect. But your working was perfect!" Eunjae commented happily, finally looking up from the paper. Seokjin made eye contact for the first time, searching the younger for something
but only received an enigmatic look.
"Oh, well thanks for your help." Seokjin replied and watched as Eunjae swallowed, his lips pursing before smiling, a hint of a dimple flashed. Still unreadable.
"its what I’m here for...um...sorry I didn’t get your name?"
"Kim Seokjin"
"uh Seokjin?, don’t hesitate to ask me again if you get stuck" Eunjae stood up from the seat and gave another quick smile before leaving for another student.
Its not like Seokjin chose it, its not like he wanted it- actually it was far from what he wanted;
somehow Eunjae had ignited a spark and Seokjin’s chest exploded in response, burning intensely fire hot red.
But all Seokjin knew fire hot red to be was anger. His stomach twisted as the bell sounded and he grabbed his books and left the class for dinner. His nose screwed up as he replayed the scene of Eunjae’s unreadable smile in his head.
All his naivety could do was chalk this up to be distaste. He didn’t particularly like Eunjae one bit.