Chapter Text
They balanced on the edge of the roof, facing each other. The Bat and the Clown.
“Step away from the edge,” the Dark Knight ordered, between gritted teeth.
“Or what?” The Joker grinned, the kind of grin that didn’t belong on a murderer’s face. “You gonna catch me? Rough me a little and send me straight back to dear old Arkham? Oh Bats, I just know you will. You don’t need to patronise me, darling. I know the dance as well as you do. And dare I say it? Perhaps, I might just know it a little better than you…”
“You’re crazy, Joker. We both know it. So just surrender and we won’t have to do this the hard way.” The clown giggled, criss-crossing his eyes mockingly before returning his gaze to Batman’s.
“Slow down, sweetheart; we got all night,” he said huskily, that permanent smile locked on his lips. “Humour me. What if I…break this little cycle? Whatever would you do without me, Batsy?” He sighed dramatically, before cracking up. “Ha! I’m no riddler, baby. Let me tell you.
“I’d win,” he growled suddenly, all signs of lightness gone from his eyes. “And you? You’d furl up those Bat wings and you’d spiral down. You’d go down so fast, you’d catch fire. You’d burn. And when you’d hit rock bottom, you’d just lie there, all pathetic, and fizzle out.” The Joker paused, looking at the drop below him, then back up at Batman. The playful glint had returned to his eyes. “Trust me on this, darling,” he drawled, still grinning as always. “Why, I hear you ask? Why trust the clown? It’s simple, really. It’s because we’re mirrors, Batsy. Mirrors!” The clown tilted his head back and laughed. The Dark Knight stepped forward, ever so slightly hesitant. Maybe the Joker noticed, maybe he didn’t. For once, Batman couldn’t tell.
“You’ve said enough, clown. Now do as you’re told.”
“Clown? I don’t know about that.” The Joker licked his lips, almost subconsciously. “See, some people…I reckon they call me a clown ‘cos of all this,” he admitted, waving a hand in front of his face. “But they’re all, uh…boring people anyway. The lot of them. I mean, if you don’t like how I look, just say so, y’know? Clown barely fits.” He chuckled, something dark leaking into his voice as he continued. “But then there’s all those other people, the…the real ones, the ones with…substance, if you get what I’m saying. And they? They call me a clown ‘cos of who I am. The Joker.” He spun about a little, dangerously close to slipping off the edge. “I’m funny, see? Funny like a clown. I. Am. Hilarious! But, then there’s the sad thing. The sad, sad thing. You, my greatest partner, my addiction, my…obsession, disagree. You don’t see it, do you? In your righteous little mind, you think that I’m not amusing in the slightest. Well, darling, I am. So, Batsy…how about it? Wanna hear a joke?” The clown spread his arms out, as if he were presenting to an audience, but before he could begin telling his (almost definitely twisted) joke, the Dark Knight closed the distance between them, and grabbed Joker’s arm, roughly.
“Listen to me, you bastard,” Batman growled. “I’ve had enough of your sick little mind games. You’re going back to Arkham, and I swear I will make sure you remain there.” The Joker giggled.
“Didn’t I say so? Oh, well. Some habits die hard, as they say. But, uh…would you allow me this one last joke? Please, Batsy baby?” The clown batted his eyelashes. “I mean, we wouldn’t want anything to happen to sweet little Robin, would we?”
“Are you seriously threa- You know what? Forget it. Just…just spit it out so I can send you back.” The Joker tried to pull his arm out of Batman’s grip, gently, but when he didn’t relent, the Joker just rolled his eyes and attempted to applaud in that position.
“Ah, well. I can’t express my gratitude. Your loss, darling. Anyway, how rude am I being? I should never keep an audience waiting…” The Joker smiled a little at that, before launching into the joke. “So, there were these two people who were very much in love. Almost violently in love, you could say.” The clown winked at Batman. “But Person 1 was getting a little…bored of their relationship. You see, their daily routine was awfully mundane, and they’d been at it for years! So, one day, Person 1 decided they’d had enough. They climbed up the stairs to the roof of their apartment building.” The Joker looked down. “A bit like the one we’re on top of. How coincidental!” The Dark Knight narrowed his eyes, saying nothing. “Person 1 stood on this edge of the roof for hours, thinking some very dark thoughts. A while later, Person 2 finally found them. They stepped up beside Person 1 and told them - no, begged them - to reconsider. Person 2 told Person 1 that they loved them and that they couldn’t afford to lose them.” By this point, the Joker had successfully managed to release himself from Batman’s hold, telling the story in a way that foolishly brought Batman’s guard down, even though he knew that it should be the other way around. It was just the way that the clown’s eyes twinkled that enraptured him. He couldn’t help it.
Catching him unaware, the Joker jerked out, wrapping a leg around the Dark Knight’s ankle ferociously. Batman lost his footing and lurched over the side, only to be held from his cape by a grinning Joker.
“Going so soon, Batsy? At least let me finish! Where were we? Oh, yes! Person 1 just laughed at Person’s 2 concern. ‘Oh, silly,’ Person 1 said. ‘I wasn’t going to jump. I was going to do this!’ And with that, Person 1 shoved their beloved Person 2 off the roof. As they fell, Person 1 yelled, and here’s the punchline…” The clown, surprisingly strong, pulled the Bat’s face close to his own. “’I guess you fell for it.’” The Joker laughed manically, almost bending over, and in doing so, released Batman’s cape, so that the Dark Knight went hurtling down. “I GUESS YOU FELL FOR IT!” he screamed, again, and again, and a-