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n☆ One.
Ten minutes, that’s how long Lance wanders around biting aimlessly at his nails -a nervous habit- while his thoughts keep him occupied. His position on the team has always been hard for him to think about, some days he will feel like he belongs and they all want him here, other days, not so much.
It’s hectic, all this Lion switching -that actually ended up going well- and then suddenly Shiro coming home. Lance admits, they made the team work when Shiro wasn't there, they got closer, understood each other better, even when they all still missed Shiro.
Luckily, he’s back now.
Lance sprung with happiness when they first found him, there was constantly a hole, a hole where Shiro would fit perfectly in. After some time, his glee disappeared as he found himself back in the spiral of his thoughts. Lance has always been an over thinker, unable to stand up for himself when his anxiety starts lurking in the back of his mind.
When he finally stops, he is at the location he had been pondering for so long. He is sure Keith wouldn’t make fun of him, he is a good guy, has always been if they both try. To be honest, he also has no idea who else to go to, he could voice his concerns to either Pidge or Hunk, but he won’t do that to them. Hunk might be worse at overthinking, so that wouldn’t be fair and Pidge is already busy enough with flying Green and trying to find her family. She has a purpose out here, he wouldn’t want to make her doubt her position too. So, Keith, it ends up being, Keith is also a solid member of Voltron, they wouldn’t want to get rid of the best pilot for centuries, so here he is.
Lance knocks before he can turn himself around again, shifting from foot to foot. “Yeah?” The answer is clear and inviting, so Lance doesn’t hesitate to open the door and step inside. Keith’s room is almost an exact copy of his, but he doesn’t focus on that for too long because soon enough he is meeting Keith’s intrigued eyes.
“Hey man... I just wanted to talk with you, because well, because I’ve been worrying about something.” Lance breaks eye contact with Keith, casting them to the side, before returning them nervously to Keith’s again. Surprisingly he is met with a small smile, even though Keith is slowly crossing his arms. It’s never really a surprise to see Keith do that anymore, he does it whenever he talks to someone like he is nervous they’ll start attacking or just damage him in some way.
The smile widens, “must really be bothering you if you’re coming to talk to me,” Keith says, and Lance admits he has something there. It is really bothering him.
“Well, I mean you’re the leader now, right?” Lance asks and this time Keith’s smile fades and his eyes concentrate on the floor. His arms tighten and he shrinks down.
“I guess.”
“I have been doing some math. With Shiro back, that makes six paladins, but there are only five lions, and if I am right, that is one paladin to many.” Lance holds up his little finger, his face falling in character as he feels his insecurities eat at him inside. They could easily just wipe one of them off, give them a ticket home and what does Lance give to this team?
“Solid math,” Keith affirms, blinking before looking towards Lance. Lance in return turns his head down. “Look when Shiro takes over the Black Lion, you’re going to want your Red Lion back. If I get a Lion, that means I’d have to take Blue from Allura. She’s progressed a lot faster than any of us, she might even be able to unlock powers we don’t know off.” Lance mirrors Keith, as his arms folded over each other, eyes directed onto his feet. It had hurt when these thoughts had surfaced again, it had made tears stream down his cheeks, but in the end, he wouldn’t be able to take Blue from Allura, she is smiling so much more.
Keith and Lance’s eyes meet, “that’s true.” Keith confirms.
Lance blinks one, two, three times, “so maybe the best thing I can do for the team, is step aside.” Lance looks at Keith, hoping he’ll understand how hard this is affecting him. He won’t be annoyed if Keith agrees, he won’t start a hysteric, he’s thought it through.
“What are you talking about?” Keith sounds almost confused, his head tilting slightly to the side.
The response is better than Lance had imagined in every scenario, his stomach flutters slightly. “This isn’t a participation game. This is war. And you want your best soldiers on the front lines,” Lance says, arms unfolding, eyebrows furrowing slightly.
Keith extends his arm, “stop worrying about who flies what and just focus on your missions. Things will work themselves out,” Keith gives him an almost saddened look, but Lance has never been good at reading Keith’s eyes. They’re too guarded, too aware that emotions show themselves in them, that Keith simply holds it back most times.
He didn’t expect to get in here and get an agreement that he should step aside, or perhaps he had. His anxiety lurking after that satisfied blow from someone that he isn’t worthy of a place in Voltron. Keith hadn’t exactly settled his nerves, but Lance admits he did something. “Okay… Thanks.” Lance shy away from Keith’s eyes, he’s never been good with letting people know of his insecurities, and even when he opens up, it embarrasses him. He feels like a burden, an unnecessary weight. He meets Keith’s eyes quickly, before turning towards the door.
“And lance…” Lance turns at Keith’s tone, giving a glance to the man. “Leave the math to Pidge.” Keith smiles, it takes Lance a little by surprise at the genuineness behind it. Keith’s whole demeanor surprises Lance, because not only is he smiling, but his arms are unfolded and for once he looks open. Lance can’t help the smile that spreads on his face when he meets Keith’s eyes.
☆ Two.
Keith had been surprised when Lance had been behind his door those weeks ago, it had made his heart beat a little faster, while his nerves were starting to boil over 'why'. He was glad, in some way, that Lance -his so-called rival- sought him out, but not particularly delighted to hear the brunette's thoughts.
In some way, Keith had always thought Lance had himself placed together well, with his confident sentences and walk. But if Keith thought about it a little longer, it doesn’t come as a surprise that perhaps Lance is a bit of an over-thinker.
He tried helping as much as he could, reminding him to not worry so much over this, and he even threw in a joke, that gave him the smile he knows so well. It meant a lot to him with Lance choosing him, he imagines that is why his heart beat faster when he left and he stood in the same spot for so long while thinking back on it.
He remembers feeling better afterward, secure and content. They had shared something in those moments, and Keith feels that might be the reason why he isn’t even thinking too long about who he should go to because the answer is so obvious.
The thought of just going to Shiro straight away and tell him how he feels, it was there, but something is off, and truly, he feels better about going to Lance.
Keith locates the guy in the training deck, fumbling with his bayard, adjusting the lens, or Keith assumes, he isn’t skilled in this department. “Start long-range shooting training sequence, level fourteen.” Keith clears his throat, making Lance turn around surprised. “End sequence,” Lance says, and chuckles. His eyes are questioning, watching Keith like a hawk as Keith fumbles slightly with a loose thread.
“You’re on a high level,” Keith says, changing the subject from the semi-awkward silence. He hadn’t really thought through how he would start the conversation, just that he wanted to find Lance.
Lance shrugs nonchalantly, retreating his bayard. “It’s not that good, let’s sit, my legs are tired.” Lance waste no time in falling to the floor, stretching out his legs in front of him. Keith sit down beside him slowly, arms automatically crossing as he falls back into his thoughts. He has no idea if anyone else notices this, or if it’s him being paranoid.
He’ll only find out one way; “Lance, can I ask you something?” Lance gives him a nod while leaning back against his arms. "Am I a bad leader?" Lance doesn't seem taken back by the question, but just a little confused. "Do you think, we think that?" After a couple of seconds, Lance comes with his answer, and that takes back Keith.
He guesses he does. Or kind of.
He thinks the only reason being that everything Shiro says is always better than his, and normally Keith would so easily agree with him too, but this isn’t Shiro, something is off. His suggestions keep changing gradually to something so off for Shiro, but Shiro used to be their leader -their very good leader- and it’s usually him who comes with the good plans, so Keith doesn’t blame the others. The only reason he can’t agree with them, that he has to scream back and forth with Shiro, is Black’s stubbornness in the back of his mind telling him to do it, and the unsettling feeling in his gut whenever he meets Shiro’s eyes.
Keith glance up quickly when he feels the weight on his shoulder, “something is off about Shiro.” Keith gets out, leaning slightly into the warm hand spread over his shoulder. Lance gives him a raised eyebrow, giving a hint to continue. “He isn’t himself, even Black feels it. He feels distant when I talk to him, he keeps bringing me down as a leader-“ Keith stops at the squeeze on his shoulder, looking up at Lance. He looks irritated, his eyebrows furrowed
“And we keep on agreeing with him, not you.” Lance looks sorry when he looks at Keith. Keith gives a small smile, he doesn't blame them for following Shiro, but again it hurts when he constantly gets pushed to the side. He thinks they make it work, he tries including everybody, going for much more of co-leading. He knows he is too fierce, too impulsive, so he tries bringing them together so they all are a part of the Black Lion, more than just teammates. “Tell me more about how Shiro acts different,” Lance says, hand dropping from his shoulder.
Keith gives a grateful smile, finally relaxing and leaning slightly against Lance’s shoulder as he lets his thoughts out. He hasn’t always had the opportunity to share his feelings, his thoughts and concerns, there has never been a person for that, never really been anyone he’s wanted to tell everything to. Except, here is Lance.
☆ Three.
They have been sharing glances the whole day, sometimes consciously, other times Lance is almost sure it isn’t, their eyes just meet. He doesn’t know when they became each other's emotional support, their cushion to fall back against, whenever things were too much. He has no idea when, but he is grateful for it. This thing, it’s done so much for their relationship, it’s better, less tense. If it had been now, Lance wouldn’t have been nervous to approach Keith with his insecurities like he was months ago, now it’s just him he turns to, easily.
It’s nice.
When they’re finally alone, it isn’t a surprise that Lance gets up from his place on the couch, to move over beside Keith, content at just sitting there for a while beside him. Lately he’s been thinking, specifically, after Pidge told them they'd soon be celebrating one year in space. Honestly, that sets Lance on edge, he didn't think so long had gone by, but space and time really mess with his head.
For one year -plus his time at the Garrison- he hasn’t been home, none of them have. Don’t get Lance wrong, he wants to stay and help, make sure the empire won’t spread to earth, but what do their families know and think? Have the Garrison sent out papers, telling them some sorry excuse, or some wild lie? Do they even believe they’re still alive?
Lance turns to the side, his eyes catching Keith’s side profile, it looks stern, like his face usually is, but there is still the openness in his posture, arms are drawn to lay on his thighs, completely exposing him. There goes by several minutes before Keith finally turns to meet his eyes, “what are you thinking about?” Lance’s question is asked softly, watching as Keith tucks his legs up to sit cross-legged, right arm coming up to help support his head.
“Earth,” Keith answers back, they’d all been present when Pidge told them the announcement of how long they’d been in space. “Me too,” Lance sighs, leaning back against the couch, head tilting back to lay against the soft cushion. “You miss it?” Lance asks again, he needs something to keep him occupied, so his own thoughts won’t start racing straightforward. Keith tilts his head towards him, tucking his head into his arm, so he can properly look at Lance.
Lance feels like he’s getting a whole lot better at understanding Keith’s eyes, they’re slowly opening up to him, just like Keith. Right now they’re shining with curiosity and nervousness. “I guess, like fireflies and thunderstorms, and people actually understanding you,” Keith says, a light chuckle falling from him. Lance cracks a grin at that, he misses that too, everything is new and newer in space. “But, besides those things, I don’t know… My dad, but I have no idea where he is, and my mom-” Keith stops the sentence, eyes falling away from their eye contact. Lance has never had anything against Keith being half Galra, it’s somehow actually cool to think about if there are others like that on earth too. What annoys him, is how lost Keith looks whenever he thinks about it, he doesn’t know the feeling of not knowing like that, but he sees that look cross Pidge’s features too, sometimes. “She is a whole other problem,” Keith mutters, twirling his fingers around a lock of his hair.
Lance leans in closer to Keith, their bodies pressing up against each other. Keith meets his eyes, and they share a soft smile. “I promise, when things are less hectic, we will try solving it.” Lance blink a couple of times, watching as Keith’s eyes change the feeling, his face falling after the wide eyes.
“Thank you.” Lance accepts the gratitude that is sent from Keith, the smile, the words and the mellowness behind him. “I guess you miss your family,” Keith states, and Lance can only nod.
He doesn’t know what to say, it’s not like there is anything new to this. He misses his family, and he would like to see them again. He’s discussed this somehow with Hunk and Pidge, but they’re both just as saddened by talking about it, so once again he doesn’t do it. Keith, even though he is sad, that is what they do, they talk and they help each other out, but Lance has no idea what to say.
After a while, there is a tentative touch on his bicep, and a soft hold, a thumb moving from side to side slowly. It’s calming, and his eyes fall closed, an exhale of a breathe leaving him contently.
☆ Four.
Lance knocks one time on Keith’s door, and not even seconds pass before he is knocking again, this time starting up a tune to keep himself occupied.
He stumbles slightly when Keith yanks his door open, a slight scowl on his face, “you are very much awake,” Keith comments, watching as Lance’s fingers go to tap at his thighs instead. Lance tries looking apologetic, but soon again he is staring down Keith, fingers tapping.
Keith looks puzzled as he watches Lance, examining him right back.
“You okay?” Lance ponders that question, as much as he can, every possible answer he could right now give, flying through his head. He feels uncomfortable in his own body like his limbs want to break out in all kind of movements, and all these different things he is suddenly thinking about want to be said. His anxiety is increasing in tenfolds, being the only thing holding him back from doing anything. It’s making this castle claustrophobic, the walls are too bare and too serene.
He is quiet for far too long, eyes scratching every surface visible for him, “come in,” Keith says, stepping aside to let him in. Lance wonders inside again, looking around. The sheets are rumbled, Keith was probably sleeping, it is late. He gives Keith a glance, to get his thought confirmed, the guy is wearing only shorts and a shirt, hair a mess. Lance knows he should have waited, but he was starting to drive himself crazy, thinking too much, fidgeting too much. He tried everything, he walked around for a bit, took something to eat, tried training and went to observe the stars. It’s all things he’s done before, whenever he starts feeling like this, but never has it been this brutal.
He can feel the hum underneath his fingertips, aching to do something inside this way to still castle. He turns to tap with his foot, looking around again, “come here,” Keith states, and there is a soft hold around his wrist, warm and burning. Keith settles down in his bed, leaning up against the wall by the side, watching Lance with a tilted head. Lance sits down hurriedly, placing himself opposite of Keith.
He splays his fingers out on his thighs, starting up the same tune he had been doing before. “Lance.” Keith’s tone is demanding this time and breaks Lance’s tune. His focus is running thin, that’s why every activity he tried doing ended up being a try. But, something in Keith’s voice catches him, and he feels a surge of calmness when he meets Keith’s curious eyes.
“I can’t stay still,” Lance says, watching for any reaction in Keith’s eyes, but they keep on being friendly and curious.
They’ve done this enough for Lance to understand; he is letting Lance decide what to tell, how to proceed. He feels giddy at that, his bones rocking up and about. He starts clapping slowly, making small sounds, as his foot starts tapping away again. The words start jumbling up together in his brain, they start searing on his tongue, wanting to come out.
“I want to run. Run down the corridor and through the hallways, sing a song loudly, clap along to it and do cartwheels all the while. I want to be able to focus on something, for more than two seconds, train some more, get something to eat, but I don’t want goo, I want to make something funny, and have a blast while doing it. But I can’t because this castle is too still, I feel trapped and everything keeps closing in on me.” Lance’s words are excessive, but it’s like he can’t stop now, Keith has that effect on him.
Somewhere along the way, Keith got between Lance’s layers and got permission to know everything he thought. “Have you felt like this before?” Keith’s voice is settling and makes the words already ready to spill again, hold back. He nods meekly, eyes straining to the side, to avoid Keith’s intense gaze. He’s never been ashamed of having ADHD symptoms, he’s never actually gotten diagnosed, but has just always had restless periods. “Lanc-“ Lance can’t help but stop Keith, blurting out the answer.
“I feel like this now and again, but never like this. I know it’s because the castle is so claustrophobic, it’s making it harder for me to focus and comprehend things.” Lance keeps his eyes on Keith’s sheets, his eyes stinging slightly. The worst thing about this, it is the castle closing in on him like this. At home, he would spend the whole day outside, both day and night and run around doing all these activities to get off with the energy. It affects him, that it isn’t a possibility out here.
There is movement in front of him, but he holds his eyes plastered to the spot. He jiggles his arm, trying to once again let go of the restless feeling in it. The calmness that had followed Keith’s voice is rapidly fading away, instantly knocking the restlessness back into Lance.
Keith hasn’t said anything, and Lance has no idea what he is thinking or how he is reacting. He doesn’t want to look, he’d rather bolt out of this room and run the corridors thin, trying to escape this silence.
The gentle touch on his chin jerks him upright, eyes meeting Keith’s worried ones. “Tomorrow we are going somewhere,” Keith mumble, left-hand curling slightly on his cheek, while his right goes up to hold the other side of his face. Keith’s hand are cool against his skin, burning through him and settling those nerves that were building up.
Lance doesn’t even notice the tear tracking his cheek, too caught up in Keith’s eyes; so genuine and filled with trust. It only faces him when Keith brushes his thumb gently, catching it and drying it away. “I’ll talk to Allura, find some water and the sun.” Keith grins, Lance’s face splitting apart to allow a small smile.
Lance leans into Keith’s right hand, eyes falling shut for the first time in a while. A sigh leaves his mouth as he feels his fingers calming, and his legs stopping their slight jumps. When he opens his eyes, Keith’s are staring straight at him, and without any thinking, his hands move to hold onto Keith’s.
Keith is smiling, and it’s the prettiest sight Lance has ever seen; calm and pretty.
☆ Five.
His tea cooled long ago, no longer tasteful or warm. He’s been staring down at the mug for minutes now, no movement on the way to take the mug and move it to the kitchen. His eyes are stinging knowingly, the tears welling up and blurring his vision.
The funny thing, Keith has no idea why he is crying in the first place. All he knows is lately sleep has been wrong, and his days gray. He knows what it is, he is diagnosed and everything, but that still doesn’t answer your questions enough. When he was younger he got diagnosed with depression, and honestly, Keith didn’t believe it at first. He remembers sad days, days when he didn’t want to get up, and everything fell against him. There have been thoughts he didn’t like, but on the scale of sadness, it apparently reached the depression stage. The doctor told him it could have been triggered by a stressful event, and Keith knows it goes back to his father disappearing.
Keith also knows it’s hit him before when Shiro disappeared and he flunked out of the Garrison because of the zero motivation to even try.
Though, now, he has no idea why. He started wondering about it when he first starting feeling down, when he stopped hitting the training deck and having good nights of sleep, that maybe it was this hectic lifestyle. He has been doing all these cool, scary and stressful things for over a year now, somehow that must be affecting him.
What he is afraid of, is whether his motivation to be apart of Voltron will fade. He cares so deeply about this team and what they’re doing, but right now the thought of going into his Lion, it tires him all the way into the bone. He would need to know days ahead every attack, prepare himself for the physical and mental exhaustion that would follow. It is time he doesn’t have, it would never work, not when an attack could be seconds away.
There is a tear on his hands, and he turns back to his cold tea, still untouched and sorry. With shaky hands, he grips the mug and starts stepping towards the kitchen, steps slow. His hands are wound tight around the mug, but with every step, he dreads the drop of it.
Tears are streaming down his cheeks, making his face warm, and eyes cold. His bottom lip is caught between his teeth, he’s been worrying it for so long.
There is faint noise from the kitchen, it’s probably Hunk cooking. The thought of meeting someone, it tires Keith out. He has never been good at socializing, but with Voltron, he started enjoying it. That happiness around it is disappearing.
He turns the corner, his eyes finding only Lance, fussing around with different things. He’s probably helping Hunk, it’s not a surprise, it’s dinner time soon. Hunk had started asking for help, which Keith found fair, he’d helped some time ago.
When his eyes had met Lance’s back, he felt more tears fall, but for once it felt like something was taken off his shoulders. The tears were relieving. It makes it easier walking to the counter, ready to get this mug out of his hands. The murky color and taste of it, the coldness surrounding the mug, he doesn’t like it.
He doesn’t even catch the cup falling from his hands, before there is the ear crashing sound from it, piercing through the room as it lands into the sink. Tea scatters around the edges of the sink, something breaks off the mug and Keith’s heart drops. The noise had been loud, pierced through his whole body, bringing out a sob and more tears.
Lance turns startled, eyes going wide as he takes in Keith. He must look a mess, red puffed cheeks and still wearing pajamas. Keith brings his hands up to dry away tears, trying to not keep letting so many fall towards the floor. He is sniffling, eyes straying from Lance to the mug. It’s scattered, shattered in pieces, and somehow Keith feels alike.
Everything inside him right now is broken pieces; everything is jumbling around, breaking apart as more tears fall. Tears are supposed to carry your feelings out with them, but right now they’re simply helping the shards inside him sharpen.
“I-I’m sorry,” Keith mutters, turning to look at the broken mug.
“Hey now, it’s just a mug, there’s more of those.” Lance steps closer, Keith hears it clearly.
He turns to look up at Lance, watching as he cautiously comes closer, “Hey, come here.” Lance’s voice is calm to Keith’s ears, and he lets him move close, let’s him wrap his arms around his middle and around his shoulders. Keith doesn’t even hesitate as he leans into the hug, hands catching the front of Lance’s shirt and his head falling against his sharp collarbone.
Lance’s shirt is damp in seconds, but as much as Lance’s embrace and the soft scent of sea salt calm Keith, he still feels this way. He knows it won’t stop, he used getting medication for it to settle down, and he has none of that here. “What’s up?” Lance’s voice is soft, a little muffled from his head being buried into Keith’s hair.
“I have depression,” Keith’s statement rings too loud, at least for him it does. Lance doesn’t say anything for a while, he simply hugs Keith closer and buries his head further into his hair. “Do you get medication?” Lance asks after a while, Keith sniffles slightly, nodding.
Quietness falls over them again, but it’s okay, Keith likes it this way. Like this, there is only the silent hum of the ship, and Lance’s and his breathing.
The only disturbance comes when footsteps are heard outside the kitchen, and Keith gets ready to get pushed away or let go off, but instead, Lance pulls him closer, before lifting up one arm. There are a few words exchanged, it must be Hunk. Keith is about to back away, but soon enough Lance’s arm returns around Keith.
Keith has never been one for touches and all, he’d do it occasionally if he trusted the person enough and wanted to show his adoration. He never used to like it that much, Lance flipped the tables for that.
“You want to talk about it?” Lance's question is asked softly.
“There isn’t much to say.”
Keith really doesn’t know what to say; he feels sad, exhausted and unworthy. What he’s learned over time, is sometimes things can go so well, but you can end up somehow falling and ending up back into this evil cycle. Some things you found so much happiness in, they can be ruined completely for you by depression, some things won’t ever have the same feeling to them, because of it.
He pulls back from the comfy space on Lance’s chest to look up at him, he looks sadder, touched. “Thank you, I have no idea why I am crying, but you helped everything settle. Thank you,” Keith murmurs, Lance gives him a breathtaking smile, hand running along his jaw, thumb taking some of the tears with it.
Lance’s eyes are bright, almost too bright, but they carry so many wonderful feelings. Keith is mesmerized every time he gets to look into them. They help, they make a small smile form on his lips; Lance’s smile widens at that, hand running through his hair before he is pulling Keith close again to hug him tightly.
“We’ll go find Coran in a minute, yeah?”
“Yeah.”
☆ Plus one.
This time, it’s like they simply seek each other out. Keith is exhausted and honestly, he could drop right about now, but for some reason, he still can’t. They have never had this bad a fight, this intense and dangerous.
After so long in space, they’re really starting to get the hang of Voltron, but even with how long they planned this fight and how much they trained; it was hard. They’d been tested, separated several times and surrounded by fighters and hundreds of fleets. He wants, needs, Lance, to talk to him, voice his concerns for future fights like this, see if he is okay.
Keith finds it an essential part of his day, talk to Lance. It doesn’t have to be anything, just know more about him, how he feels, how he is. It makes him happy, and many days it’s the highlight to get to talk to Lance.
He knows this feeling, has known for a while now -maybe even before, they have always had tension between them- what it meant. He’s not surprised, he’s always liked men better, they had something rawer over them, and he’d much rather touch broad shoulder and back muscles, than breasts. He’s always felt like this, women simply didn’t get to him that way. No wonder that he somewhere along the way would fall for Lance, the guy is a blessing to get your eyes on, but this isn’t just attraction to his looks, he likes everything.
They’ve been there for each other for so long, Lance has seen more of him that he has ever shown anyone.
He knows that’s why as soon as he spots Lance, he skips unbelievably fast over to close his arms around him, look up at him with a smile so soft, and reserved for Lance. Lance is just as quick, catching Keith and grinning all over. “I guess we were looking for each other,” Lance says, face sparkling as his grin widens to full capacity. Keith can’t deny that statement, head shaking with a soft chuckle as hands close around Lance’s cheeks.
Over this time, he’s gotten better at understanding Lance’s eyes. They have always been easy to read emotions out of, but now he understands. He gets why they sometimes shimmer, and how when they’re darkening he’s reminded of things he won’t allow others to see. He’s glad he can do that, so he knows he isn’t alone in thinking these soft things.
“I wanted to make sure,” Keith states, leaning into the warm embrace, the safe bubble that forms whenever they hug.
“Me too,” Lance says, visibly swallowing. “This was unbelievable, I am still running on adrenaline. I was scared, it’s funny, for the first time out here I was really scared I wouldn’t survive.” Lance gives him a long thoughtful look, Keith understands.
He only remembers the fight in splotches, details from here and there. He focused so hard on trying to stay alive and the whole team with him out alive too. “Are you okay, though?” Keith asks nervously; there are so many things that can ruin you with these fights. Scars that form physically and mentally, they all leave something to them.
Lance has them, Keith has them. They’ve spent hours talking about them, trying to explain why they keep on stinging just as much. Though they might fade, even disappear, they stay.
Keith runs his fingers through some of Lance’s hair, watching as Lance’s eyes strain on different things, clearly thinking back on the events. “I think I’m good, I was just afraid for everybody, but, we were lucky.” Lance catches his bottom lip in between his teeth. “I was worried about you,” Lance says, eyes meeting Keith’s.
“I was worried about you too,” Keith admits, smiling nervously at Lance.
He’s never been good at things like this, too oblivious to notice anything. What he doesn’t miss though, is Lance’s sentences and smiles, he can see it in his eyes. There have been so many times, where they both looked sweetly at each other, or their touches lingered longer than necessary. Honestly, Keith doesn’t want to hold back anymore.
Lance pokes his side, “You okay?” He asks, head tilting slightly to move closer to him. “Yeah, I actually am. Relieved, and thankful for so many things.” Keith pokes Lance’s cheek in return, giving him a smile.
Quietness fall over them, Keith watching Lance, who in return watch him back.
Lance’s arms tighten around him, Keith’s hands tilt Lance’s head slightly down, and just like that, their lips meet. They seek each other out once again, and finally, it’s happening. Keith’s been waiting, and he is damn well sure Lance has too.
It’s emotional and makes Keith’s feelings gallop high into his throat. His lips are sweet, and kind, it’s Lance and everything Keith knows of him. It’s sweet and alive, Keith can’t get enough of this soft press of lips against his.
Whatever awkwardness that surrounds first kisses, it’s drowned out by the pure happiness radiating off them both. It’s been in the cards for so long, they held back, but God, it’s good to give up and finally kiss Lance.
“I am more than okay, actually.” Keith smiles softly against warm lips.