Chapter Text
Rei rolled over and glanced at the clock – 3:22. Nagisa would be home soon. Then maybe he could get some sleep.
He heard the door open and close and quickly rolled back to face the wall so it would look like he’d done more than doze restlessly since he went to bed. Nagisa had worried about keeping Rei awake when he took the new hours at the hotel bar, so Rei did his best to put him at ease.
Quiet clicks, clangs, and shuffles traced Nagisa’s path through their apartment until the light from the bathroom briefly cast Rei’s ‘sleeping’ shadow on the wall before him. The sound of water running lulled him into another light doze as he waited.
Nagisa slid carefully into bed, making an effort not to disturb him. He felt the warmth of Nagisa’s back inches from his own, and he wanted nothing more than to embrace that warmth, to breathe it in and tell Nagisa how much he missed him in the hours they’d been apart, to whisper about how much he loved him and not stop until he felt his breathing relax as they both drifted off. But he was supposed to be asleep.
“I know you’re not asleep, Rei. I always know.” Nagisa said into the dark room. Rei could hear his sad smile.
“Oh.” Rei sighed, “In that case...”
He rolled over and draped an arm over Nagisa’s waist, pulling him in close and placing a kiss on the back of his neck before settling in. Nagisa let out a deep breath, almost a sigh.
“That place called while you were at work,” he said. He was trying to hide it, but his voice was too flat. Rei knew what was coming.
“Oh?” he spoke hesitantly into the soft hair in front of him.
“I didn’t get the job,” Nagisa curled up a little tighter.
“Oh.” Rei answered. He tried to think of something encouraging to say, but there was nothing he hadn’t said before. Nothing that wouldn’t sound like it came from the same can he opened each time Nagisa had to report this news.
“Rei,” Nagisa rolled over and pressed his face into Rei’s shoulder, “I don’t know how much longer I can do this...”
Rei wrapped Nagisa in both arms and held him close, squeezing even tighter when he felt the shudder of a single sob.
Rei missed Nagisa’s smile. Nagisa was still himself most of the time they were together – loud, exuberant, pushy – but he wasn’t happy. The others had noticed it too. When Makoto brought the all the kids up for his eldest son’s baseball game, he had placed a hand gently on Rei’s shoulder during the 7th inning break and asked if something was going on. Rei told him everything – that Nagisa had been searching for a better job with no luck at all for several months, that he had taken a night shift because it meant more hours, and that it made their schedules clash irreparably. Makoto had smiled in his encouraging way, and promised to be on the lookout for jobs. Rei knew it was all he could do.
It also seemed like all Rei could do. He saw Nagisa for a few hours a day, and one of them was always exhausted. They tried to make the best of it and pretend nothing was wrong, but it only worked on the surface.
“Quit.” Rei broke the silence that had settled around them.
“What?” Nagisa pulled away enough to look him in the face.
“Your job. You should quit,” Rei said, “we can still make it. We might have to cut back in a few areas, but I can draw up a new budget. We can make it work.”
“Rei...”
“Not for you,” Rei pulled Nagisa close to him again, “It’s for me. I’m selfish and I don’t like seeing you this way. And I don’t like not seeing you. So you should quit.”
“Rei...” Nagisa pulled away again, this time placing a hand on Rei’s cheek. He was smiling. Not the forced smiles that had become so common. A real, living Nagisa smile. Rei was surprised it didn’t actually light up the room.
He was only allowed to stare for a moment before Nagisa pulled him into a kiss. He slipped his hand into Rei’s hair and kissed him deeply, like it was the only language they had, and Rei understood.
Their breath filled the space between them when they parted.
“Thank you...” Nagisa whispered into it, “but you know I can’t.”
“I know,” Rei sighed. It was too great of an opportunity. Nagisa had fought too hard to get into that hotel to give it up now.
“They’re making changes, though,” Nagisa said, more brightly than Rei had heard in weeks, “one of the receptionists went on maternity leave, and I think they’re opening another concierge position... So there’s hope!”
Rei melted in the face of another Nagisa smile.
“Now go to sleep before I kiss you again. You have to work in like 5 minutes.” With that, Nagisa rested his head back on Rei’s shoulder and closed his eyes.
Had Rei fallen asleep immediately, he could have slept for 3 hours. Since that would have left him in the middle of a REM cycle – potentially causing drowsiness, irritability, and lack of focus the following day – Rei concluded that watching Nagisa sleep for half an hour had been in the best interest of his career, rather than a selfish indulgence.