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"Master?" Obi-Wan queried down the bond toward solid, forbidding shields. "Will you allow me to speak to you this way for a bit?"
A vague sense of permission came from his master's end. Qui-Gon could hear him now, then; earlier, he had gotten no response at all.
Obi-Wan drew in a fortifying breath, even though he wouldn't be speaking out loud. He allowed the scents of exhaust and filtered air to ground him before reaching out again.
"I'm sorry for my actions - my inactions - on New Apsolon."
He wasn't sure he could ever forget that planet. The mission had been unsanctioned by the council, his master's visions of Tahl's torture leading them to the planet instead. From the start, Obi-Wan had felt something... off. Looking back, it may have been the desperation in Qui-Gon's so often cool eyes and voice that left him unsettled.
"I should have been more careful - I know that now."
They had been scouting out a warehouse on the outskirts of a small town when Obi-Wan stepped too heavily and broke through a rusted floor panel. The squeal of metal and his sharp gasp had given away their presence. Qui-Gon had yanked him free of the twisted step and pushed him behind a pile of crates before fending off lackeys who came pouring out to face him with blasters ready. Obi-Wan could still hear the terse, "Stay out of trouble!" that Qui-Gon shot his way as he fought to get to the room Tahl was imprisoned in.
"I should have been able to help you, not just get in your way."
Obi-Wan had eventually gone in search of his master when the sound of fighting had died down and he'd bandaged his leg enough with strips of cloak to stop the bleeding. He'd found Qui-Gon in a dank, dark room off the warren of underground tunnels, bent over Tahl's lifeless body. Qui-Gon had locked eyes with him and told him, "Get out."
"I haven't been a proper padawan to you. I've been a hindrance to you from the beginning - Bandomeer, Melida/Daan, everything. I've been prideful and stubborn and - and useless."
Obi-Wan had stumbled back to the ship on his own, hands shaking as he applied bacta patches to the worst of his gashes. Qui-Gon had followed later, his former partner's body clutched in his arms and wrapped in his cloak. Their trip back to Coruscant had been utterly silent.
"I'm grateful for everything you've done for me."
Obi-Wan swallowed reflexively. "I'm sorry," he whispered out loud and to the shields over Qui-Gon's side of the bond.
A muffled sense of confusion made it through the blocks, then a sharp, "No!", as Obi-Wan stepped off the outer edge of the Jedi temple and let himself fall.
