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There’s something about Ain that really irks Ciel. The way he looks so relaxed, smile always seeming to be present on his face, even in the heat of battle. Always going on and on about this mission of his from Ishmael. However, not once during their few months of knowing one another did it really come to surface; the reason Ciel was irritated beyond belief with Ain. Out of pure curiosity, Ciel allowed himself to ask Ain why he cared about his mission so much while traveling to the next village, and then he became painfully aware of this agitation and its cause.
Ain’s answer, simple and coated in a smile: “My existence has no meaning without this mission and its fulfillment.”
It was one thing to be lighthearted, but to take Ciel’s honest question and make light of it, giving a short answer as such… it only irritated him more. Why was he so cheerful to admit that his existence had no meaning without the mission? What if all was already lost? What if Ain had no hope of restoring the El, like he was sent to do? If that were the case, surely he should stop going forward. Without this mission, nothing must matter to him. Certainly not Lu or Ciel; they were just traveling alongside him until their paths split.
Lu did most of the talking after that.
Their time in the village was supposed to be short, but became a longer stay than the three had anticipated. This was because of Ain, constantly running about, exploring the village; Ciel didn’t blame him, seeing this was a new place. Then again, all places were new to Ain. And it just so happened that Ain acted like an excited child seeing a fireworks display for the first time, grabbing onto either Lu or Ciel’s wrist, dragging them about, pointing at things in an excited yet curious manner. He had basic understandings of clothes and weapons, yet accessories seemed to catch his attention. Not because they were anything new, but because they were all ‘adorable and intriguing all at once’.
There was an event happening the night before the trio left the town. Lu was walking about, hopping from food stand to food stand, browsing, and Ciel wasn’t far behind. They hadn’t seen Ain for some time, Ciel almost beginning to wonder if he should look for the angel… until a pair of black cat ears were placed delicately on his head.
Ciel would have taken them off, had Ain not been laughing, wearing an identical pair atop his own head. Once Lu had voiced her approval of the accessory upon his head, Ciel begrudgingly allowed them to stay on.
Once their stay in Elder village came to an end, the three had to split up. Ain said his farewell first.
“Perhaps our paths will cross once again. If it does, will you do me the pleasure of accompanying me for another journey?”
Ciel responded in turn, “Of course. Safe travels, Ainchase.”
“You know, Ain is more than acceptable. You’re both friends, after all.” He didn’t wait for a reply.
Turning and walking away, Ain began on his own path. Ciel watched after him until Lu got impatient, saying he would be fine, and forced Ciel to start walking with her down the road they were to travel from here on.
Ciel hardly ever thinks to protect anyone that's not Lu. He serves her, willing to risk his life for her. However, the image of a small, cowering Ain, covered in bandages and clearly not able to fight back against a monster that had no intention of letting him live, caused something in Ciel to snap.
Lu couldn't say anything before Ciel was in motion, getting between Ain and the beast, him and Lu making quick work of it; it was startlingly easy how fast they took it down, this leaving Ciel to momentarily believe Ain had pretended to be in danger, as though he knew the pair would be around. The fact that Ain didn't stop cowering when Ciel had gotten close to lend him a hand swept the thought under a rug.
Ciel thought he saw the flicker of a shadow appear behind Ain’s head, yet saw nothing when his attention roamed to the spot. He decided to forget about it.
Even after Ain had calmed, there was no familiar warm expression. Instead, there was a forced loftiness, shadowed by fear and pain. His left eye was covered by a bandage, hair grown out, braided in the back with unkept bangs over his face. His right hand gripped at his left arm, Ciel spotting discoloration of his skin on his fingers for a brief moment before Ain moved it out of sight.
Ciel decided to pretend he didn't notice.
As he stood, he looked unsteady. Legs were braced as though he would collapse at any moment, back hunched slightly as he leaned forward. Lu, of course, is the one to comment on this first. “You look like a baby deer trying to walk.”
Ain offers up a weak laugh, shaky and strained, “well, it's not too far off from how I'm feeling right now.” He was exhausted.
Lu takes a moment to study him, her fingers flexing. If she was going to say something, it was forgotten; Ain took a step forward and stumbled, his legs giving out immediately. Ciel is the one to catch him, Ain’s face knocking against Ciel’s chest as his arms wrap around him.
“Ainchase, what's wrong? Are your legs injured?”
Ciel's concern is met with more weight as Ain simply goes limp, and a pout. “You're still not calling me Ain. That's the problem.”
Ciel dropped him, only to pick him back up and carry him to the nearest village. Ciel had expected Ain to be smug about this, or tease him at the very least. Yet, Ain only said something about being tired and how Ciel was like a black knight instead of a white knight. Ciel would have dropped him again, had Ain not been practically curled against him.
Ciel felt him shaking. He heard how Ain strained to breathe at times. He chose to ignore it.
For a time Ain’a health improved. Ciel was both irritated and relieved to have the Ain that was used to teasing him and joking around with Lu back. The demon and the angel clicked in ways that Ciel just couldn't quite understand. He almost wanted to, had he not clicked with Ain in his own ways. It had to be built up over the span of 3 months rather than the overnight bond that Lu managed to make somehow, yet Ciel found himself wanting to spend a ridiculous amount of time in Ain’s presence. If it wasn't Lu, then he was with Ain.
It had been a while since Ciel had made a friend other than Lu. Someone that precious was going to mean a lot to him. That's the reasoning he made.
Yet, a calm night walk the two shared quickly turns into a sprint to get out of pouring rain, Ain and Ciel both soaked by the time they finally return to the inn they’re staying at. Ciel is irritated because he’s soaked, ranting about how they should have known it was going to rain because the sky was grey all day and the humidity was awful, yet he stops mid-sentence when he looks to Ain.
Grasping both his arms tight, shivering, and a teeth clattering mess. He knew Ain was smaller, yet his clothes sticking to his body really showed just how thin he is. A knot of worry coiled in Ciel’s gut, and he walked off to run a bath. Ain walked past the bathroom when Ciel called to him.
“Where are you going? This is to warm you up. So get in here and relax.”
Ain tried passing it up, but Ciel wasn't having it. He stepped out and waited for Ain to undress and step into the tub before he went back into the bathroom, grabbing the angel’s soaked clothes to properly clean and dry them. Luckily his underclothes, a lightweight pair of shorts and a t-shirt, weren’t as soaked as his outer wear, so Ain could make due with wearing them tonight. Ciel would have to settle for his own light clothes as well, removing his thoroughly soaked clothes to be washed with Ain’s. The upside: their clothes would be dry and warm by tomorrow. The downside: they would probably be cold all night depending on how heavy the blankets here are.
Ain steps from the bathroom not too long after Ciel has both their outfits drying.
When his hair was worn out of the braid, it was painfully obvious that his hair was actually a knotted mess. Ciel nearly had a stroke when he saw the state his hair was in, forcing him to sit on the floor between Ciel’s legs as Ciel sat on a chair behind him to comb through it. This was something of practice to Ciel; as he was good with cooking, he was also skilled with brushing through knotty hair in such a way that would prevent large clumps of hair from being pulled out. Ciel caught Ain yawning more than once.
“You should take better care of your hair, Ainchase. It would be a shame if it got so knotted that you have to shave it all off.”
“Well, it certainly was easier to take care of when it was shorter, so the idea is tempting. Maybe I’ll just let it get so knotty that you personally cut all my hair off.”
The retort earned a rough tug of hair as the comb forced its way through another knot.
Ain excuse himself to the bedroom, where he then proceeded to take over one of the beds and try to warm up. Ciel had no quarrels with that- he would just have to share a bed with Lu tonight. He’d rather share the bed with her anyway. He made his way to the bathroom, deciding to bathe before going to bed.
Even with the only light being from the moon shining in through a small window beside Ain’s bed, Ciel could clearly see his form curled up. The silence broke only when he took a breath, trembling from the cold. Perhaps he had gotten sick?
Instead of getting into bed with Lu, Ciel walks towards the bed where Ain lay, sitting on the edge of it and reaching over, feeling his forehead. Ain slowly uncurls, turning to look over at Ciel, which gave the half-demon a chance to press the back of his hand over Ain’s cheeks as well.
“You’re really warm, Ciel.”
“I think you’re just cold. Move over.”
It was a snug fit, Ciel being bigger than Ain and the bed only meaning to be for one person, but they made it work. Ain’s back was pressed against Ciel’s chest, the taller’s arms around him, blanket on top of both of them.
Ain just kept trembling. Even once his body had been warmed up, that restless shaking returned. Since he was pressed right against Ain, arms secured around him, Ciel couldn’t ignore it.
Maybe he shouldn’t have ignored it the first time.
The moment a pained gasp slips past his lips is when Ciel truly becomes concerned. He searches for one of Ain’s hands, fingers slipping between the angel’s, and he gives a squeeze. Ain responds in kind.
“It hurts, Ciel.”
“What hurts?”
“I don’t know. It just hurts.”
Ciel didn’t know how to respond to that. He didn’t understand why he’s been so protective of Ain. This is… different than what he feels with Lu. With her, there is a loyalty and desire to serve. With Ain, however, Ciel wishes he could take his pain. He wants to hold him until there is no more pain, even if it’s impossible.
So, he settles for turning Ain around, arms holding him tighter, fingers threading through silver locks. Ain presses into Ciel’s chest, grasping onto his shirt.
“I want it to stop hurting, Ciel.”
“... Ain.”
Despite not being able to see his expression, the way he momentarily stills tells Ciel he was startled- the name ‘Ain’ still didn’t settle on Ciel’s tongue right. He takes a momentary pause to press a kiss to the top of Ain’s head.
“I will do anything to help you stop hurting. I promise.”
They both know he can’t do anything, yet Ain still relaxed against him, his wave of pain passing at a moment that almost led them to believe he would be okay. They exchange a few soft touches, Ciel managing to get Ain to smile genuinely, and then Ain manages to calm enough to sleep, Ciel following suit.
Lu lay in bed, looking over at Ciel’s back as the two sharing the bed slept. She couldn’t bring herself to say anything.
So she won’t.
They held hands often, even if they were just walking in the village of their own accord. The only time they weren’t holding hands were when they absolutely couldn’t be, such as fighting. Lu would comment that the affection made her feel sick, but she never actually did anything to stop them.
They would hold hands while walking. Sit as close as possible to one another. Ain even steals Ciel’s overcoat and wears it at times. Ciel doesn’t mind, though; it’s cute. The most they would ever do is just hold one another and rub their noses together, but unsure when to take a step further.
Ciel was shocked when it was Ain that made the first move.
Ciel was reading a book he had picked up and Ain was resting against his side, head on Ciel’s shoulder, Ciel’s coat snuggly fit around him. Ciel wasn’t much taller than Ain, but Ciel’s build was bigger, causing the coat to be loose fitting on Ain’s body.
Ain had just started to wake from the nap he was taking, the eye Ciel could see was struggling to open as he pressed closer to Ciel’s side. Green met with blue, a smile rising to Ciel’s features.
“Good morning, sleeping beauty.”
“Morning…”
Ciel’s attention turned back to the book while Ain lay there, thinking, plotting. Deciding to finally take that step they both seem to refuse to take. Motions are delicate; head lifting off of shoulder, arms winding around Ciel’s neck, noses brushing, and then lips meet.
It’s sort of awkward, Ain’s lips meshed against Ciel’s, head turned at an odd angle; Ciel puts his book down to put both hands on Ain’s cheeks and pull him back.
“You’re too stiff.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing. I just… wanted to do it. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize. It’s cute. You’re cute.”
Ciel’s words are met with a pout, Ain’s eye looking away from Ciel’s face as his cheeks became dusted in pink. Ciel chuckled, leaning forward to give Ain a more proper kiss, one less awkward.
--
Ain fell ill one night during their travels between villages.
Ciel had noticed earlier on in the day that he’d been sluggish, dragging on, short of breath. Ain insisted he would be fine, and Lu told Ciel to drop it after the fifteenth time he asked if Ain was alright.
“If he wasn’t alright, he would say something. Ain is a bad liar.”
Lu is good at lying.
The sun was beginning to set, the trio deciding to walk a little further before setting up camp. Lu and Ciel were fussing over a map, so they didn’t immediately notice it when Ain fell behind. Each step was a struggle, his legs shaking and his feet feeling as heavy as lead. Breath was coming in short enough to leave him light headed.
Then Ain collapsed.
Ciel and Lu both heard him hit the ground, turning back. It felt like ice was injected into Ciel’s veins, like he was dying all over again. He and Lu rushed to Ain’s side, scooping the angel up into his arms. He felt warm. Impossibly warm, his body trembling uncontrollably. Ciel noticed black markings creeping up the side of his face; pulling Ain’s shirt down to expose his chest, the black markings slowly made their way across his body, taking over. The center of his chest was swirled with blue, making an odd seed-like shape.
Ciel realizes he shouldn’t have ignored this the first time he saw it.
They got a fire set up, Ciel laying Ain down a comfortable distance from it, placing his coat over Ain. His hands frantically touched over Ain’s face, feeling the heat emitting from it before he’s even made contact.
“What could be making him sick so suddenly? He was in perfect health yesterday…”
“He’s not sick.”
Ciel looks over at Lu from across the fire, the demon sitting calmly on the ground, looking right back to him with her arms crossed.
“Do you really think a normal illness would turn someone’s skin black like that? The markings are too precise. This was bound to happen.”
“What,” Ciel starts, looking from her and then back to Ain’s flushed face, “what do you mean by ‘this was bound to happen’? Did you know something was wrong with him?”
“Anyone with eyes can see something was wrong. The day we met up with him again, he wasn’t trembling because he was scared. That’s a foolish thought. We both know he was more than capable of taking down that beast.”
Ciel studies Ain’s face before moving to grab one of his hands, examining it. Looking closer, the black markings were covered in small blue ones, as though something else was becoming part of his skin.
“He told you he was hurting, didn’t he? And I know for a fact you noticed his skin more than once. Then again, you didn’t even notice the fact your own hair has been turning white because you’re so wrapped up in him, so I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t notice the hand you were holding was slowly becoming tainted.”
His… hair was turning white? Even with his bangs in view, he still hadn’t taken a moment to look at the color. Sure enough, the blue of his hair was fading to something much lighter. When did it get this long?
“We’re all doomed because of our respective powers, but Ain’s process is killing him faster than our own. At least, I think it’s killing him. You were supposed to balance out my powers, but instead they’re overtaking you. You probably didn’t realize, but you’ve been faster and stronger. I wouldn’t be surprised if you physically changed further.”
Ciel would call this all a bluff, but he and Lu are linked. She can feel him changing, even if he himself can’t. But that still didn’t explain Ain’s situation. He opens his mouth to ask, but Lu is already answering, giving a shrug as though this was something nonchalant to be talking about.
“Ain can no longer contact his precious Ishmael. The Goddess pretty much gave up on him, seeing he’s this far contaminated by Dark El. She can’t retrieve him, he can’t reach her. If we found him sooner, perhaps someone could have helped. But, like I said, his process is fast, and he might be dying. Might. Sometimes Dark El does unexpected things. Not to mention it would seem someone has been keeping an eye on him. Literally and figuratively.”
Lu gestured to the forest behind Ciel, the half-demon straining to find anything when he sees a seed-shaped eye floating in the darkness for a moment before it vanishes.
The same pattern is beginning to appear on Ain’s chest.
Lu finishes the conversation by saying there’s nothing they can do but wait, and then she goes to sleep. Ciel lays beside Ain, holding him in his arms, rubbing Ain’s back in a comforting manner. The angel would make noises, pained and small, to which Ciel would reply with ‘shh, I’m here’.
He didn’t sleep very well. As he was drifting off, he thought he heard Ain’s voice. It sounded sad.
Ciel awoke to his coat over his body, the campfire out, and Lu standing at his back, holding a piece of torn cloth in her hands.
Ciel asked Lu where Ain was. She didn’t answer.
She didn’t have to.
Later that day, Ciel’s horn grew in.
Ciel’s power consumed him, changing his appearance and who he was as a person. There was no half-demon companion that traveled with Lu anymore. Only a changed demon whose power was like that of a born demon.
Despite his newfound power and him growing accustomed to it as they days go by, the demon couldn't fully control it. Not even with Lu’s guidance.
An ambush in the Underground Chapel, a place that was supposed to be a holy land protected by the Goddess Ishmael herself, was home to demons manifested from Dark El, forced Ciel to push himself further than he could handle. Even then, they had little hope of winning. When Amethyst showed up, things only got worse.
The irritating thing about necromancers is the fact they can summon creatures and spirits all they please. Ciel was quickly getting agitated, yet that only let him to recklessly charge in, Lu following suit. This left them exhausted and backed into a corner.
Ciel had his body between Lu and Amethyst, ready to take the brunt of the blow it was about to deliver.
It raised its hand.
Ciel pressed Lu back into the wall more.
Before it could lower its hand, black arrows shot down from above, hitting Amethyst directly, distracting it from the two demons.
Looking up, Ciel saw the figure of a male gliding down from the ceiling, as though he were some kind of angel. A savior, sure, but he looked anything but pleasant. His hair was long, grey and appeared to be a knotted mess at the ends. His arms were black, blue markings racing along him as though he were a painting. Dead center of his chest was a pattern that resembled an eye, and behind him were more eye-like shadows, floating. Watching over him.
Ciel knew those patterns.
Calmly, the male reached the floor, his feet touched them only for a moment before Amethyst attacked, the male getting hit with the full brunt of the attack. Yet he simply stood, shaking it off as though it were nothing.
“... Troublesome. You do not belong here.”
A sword appeared in his hand, and suddenly he phazed behind the necromancer, landing hit after hit in a manner that was bizarrely calm; Ciel couldn't help but keep Lu behind him, despite her protests of not being able to see. That she was fine.
“Learn your place.”
More arrows and a barrage of magic attacks land, Amethyst barely getting hits of its own in.
Eventually, the male had gotten bored with this sparring. He waited for Amethyst to get close, stood with his arm out, and snapped. A void opened beneath his foe, swallowing it up in a fury that shook the entire chapel.
“You are meant to be beneath me, the Ruler of the Abyss.”
Lu held tight to Ciel, the male covering her from thrashing debris and preventing her from being thrown around as well.
When it vanished, the void left no trace, and Amethyst was gone. Only the male stood there, looking over his shoulder. Part of his face had turned black as well, a green eye, vibrant, peeking out from messily chopped bangs.
“...”
Ciel couldn't tell if he wanted to say something of if he was debating attacking. He hesitated, going to read his weapon, but Lu spoke out.
“Is this where you've been hiding, Ain? In a dusty old chapel?”
Ain.
Ciel didn't want to believe it was him. He thought that perhaps some other person had the same eye pattern on their chest. It's possible. He wants to pretend that his heart wasn't broken. He's good at concealing his emotions. He barely has any emotional attachments now anyway.
Ain is a stranger to him…
Well, this Ain is.
This Ain is cold, as emotionless as Ciel, yet Ciel still vividly remembers how his hands feel. Their shape, how they fit in his hand. He remembers Ain’s hair, knotted and a mess, yet still soft. He remembered the way Ain’s voice got when they were talking late at night in a hushed whisper.
Ain’s smile.
“Ain.”
Ciel moves closer. Ain looks away.
“Don’t run away. I’ll hunt you down if you do.”
Ciel’s hands are shaking. Is he angry? Sad?
“Don’t run off again.”
Relieved.
Ciel made his way across the room, noticing Ain looked thinner than before. He didn't even think that was possible.
He reached out to take Ain’s hand. Ain didn't fight it. Ciel brought Ain’s hand to his mouth, kissing the palm. Ain turned and watched, emotionless save for the slightest twitch of worry in his brow.
“Don't kiss me there. You’ll become corrupted.”
Ain wasn't actually sure if it worked like that or not. Ciel wasn't buying it.
“Why didn't you stay? We could have worked something out.”
Ain looks away again. Ciel isn't having it. He reaches up to Ain’s face, holding his cheek and forcing his head to turn and look at Ciel.
Lu made her way over, standing beside Ciel. Ain’s eyes flicked between the two, more emotion becoming clear on his face. This was the most emotion he’s felt in months. Ciel could say likewise.
“There was nothing to work out. I’m not the same person anymore.”
“Neither are Lu and I.”
“I could hurt you.”
“You could have hurt me at any moment. You hurt me by leaving.”
“I didn't want this to spread to you.”
“Ain.”
“I didn't-”
The way Ain rambled on really irked Ciel. His arms wrapped around the ex-angel, pulling him close. His hand rises, placing itself on the back of Ain’s head, keeping him pressed against Ciel’s shoulder. Lu does her best to wrap her arms around the two of them, overcome with emotion that Ciel’s own mind was expelling onto her. She didn't hate it.
“Stop talking, Ain.”
Ain began to tremble, Ciel holding tighter as he felt Ain grip onto his coat. Lu awkwardly rubbed his back.
Ain let out a shaky breath.
“... It always stopped hurting when you held me.”