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It starts like this, a bright light, the scream of engines, and hands grabbing at Bodhi. Wait, maybe that’s not the start. Maybe that’s the end? Bodhi can’t tell. He’s heard about what you’re supposed to see when you die, but is his head supposed to be ringing? He tries to speak, although what he would say is a mystery. It doesn’t matter, there’s just darkness.
The next sensation is a hand gripping his wrist. It’s too tight. Everything is too tight. Everything is uncomfortable. There are only blurs around him, and then, the darkness returns.
Next there is sound. It’s steady although the tone varies. Bodhi blinks his eyes, but everything is a blur. He thinks the person next to him is reading, but he can’t tell. He thinks he’s alive.
Bodhi wakes up several times, briefly. Things start to make sense again, and then he’s unconscious. Usually there is someone next to him. When he finally truly regains consciousness, he regains feeling. It’s crushing.
Bodhi’s skin is too tight, his eyesight is blurry and he feels an overwhelming sense of panic.
“Be calm,” a familiar voice instructs. Bodhi feels calm. “Your eyes were damaged in the explosion. Things will be blurry for awhile.”
Bodhi tries to speak in return but his mouth is dry. So dry. He’s still trying to piece together what happened. Something is held up to his mouth containing ice chips. He sucks on them weakly. Finally he gathers the moisture in his mouth to speak.
“Galen?”
“Yes,” Galen confirms. His hand firmly strokes down the side of Bodhi’s face. “You are safe.”
“The plans,” Bodhi can feel his energy leaving him. “Did we get the plans?”
“Your part of the mission was successful,” there’s something in Galen’s voice Bodhi can’t understand. Not being able to see is frustrating. “Rest, heal.”
Bodhi, as he has learned to do, listens to Galen.
***
Bodhi was a pilot, and Galen was an engineer. Bodhi uses the past tense, because officially, they died. They’re told this is to hide them from imperial spies, but unsaid, and just as clear is that this is to thank them for their help and not drag them through a potential trial.
Galen tells him Jyn didn’t make it. That none of them made it, except Bodhi, who survived thanks to luck and too many grenades being thrown around. Bodhi can hear in his head, an echo of Chirrut chanting about the force. Bodhi doesn’t know why the force would save him. But as he holds Galen at night as Galen shakes with sadness, he is thankful. He repeats Chirrut’s prayer.
“I’m one with the force, the force is with me,” Bodhi can’t say what he and Galen are now. Before they were friends. Before Galen gave him the courage to try and be who he wanted to be. Now? Galen is necessary. Most nights they end up chanting Chirrut’s prayer until they fall into exhausted sleep tangled together.
Bodhi would like to say he wants to stay with the rebellion. Bodhi knows he would have stayed, even if the first statement isn’t strictly true. They stay, long enough to see the Death Star destroyed. Long enough to meet the heros who lived. Bodhi wishes Chirrut could have met Luke. Bodhi wonders if Chirrut has met him through the force.
Although Bodhi gets most of his sight back, he experinces vision loss when stressed. Rebellion pilots seem to experience a lot of it and he told to go and heal.
Bodhi and Galen don’t even think of separating. Well, Bodhi doesn’t. He can’t say what Galen is thinking, but they agree to go the Theed together. Naboo is recently freed from Imperial occupation. They can live a life there.
***
At first, it’s hard. Destroying the Death Star has come at great cost to both of them. Galen can’t speak of Jyn, but he wishes to. Instead, Bodhi tells him about her. About how strong in spirit she was. How much she loved her father. How happy she would be for him to be alive.
Galen speaks of colors. Of the beauty of Theed after the industrial bleakness of the Death Star and Eadu. They take long walks throughout the city, and help with the rebuilding. They isolate themselves to Naboo. They find jobs. Time goes by.
“You should build something,” Bodhi speaks up after dinner. Dusk is falling, and Galen is watching the sky change. Watching the stars.
“Build what?” Galen doesn’t take his eyes from the sky. “I have no wish to build anymore weapons.”
“Build something for Jyn,” Bodhi suggests. It’s been a year since Scariff. The rebellion rages on. The Empire rages on.
“A memorial?” Galen meets Bodhi’s eyes and they sit in the chairs in front of their window.
“Not necessarily,” Bodhi answers. He doesn’t want to ask a memorial to what? He wonders if Jyn and the members of Rogue One are really remembered. He suspects that the hero’s are the ones still alive. The princess, the smuggler and the boy. So many have been lost in the war. So many are still fighting. “Just something. You miss it.”
Bodhi continues to wonder what they are. They’re roommates, they’re friends, and they’re something else too. Co-dependent for sure. Bodhi flies planetary shipping shuttles-very low stress.Most shipping runs are a day, but there’s the rare one that lasts longer. It makes them both unhappy. Bodhi comes home one day to find Galen staring up at the dark sky. Bodhi is home late, he’s missed the sunset.
“They are building another one,” Galen’s voice is filled with sadness and Bodhi joins him at the window. They kiss hello. Bodhi has given up trying to label them. They are.
Bodhi doesn’t have to ask what that means. There is only one thing it could be. He can see the lines of stress throughout Galen’s body. “What do you want to do?”
Galen’s head falls onto his shoulder. Bodhi hadn’t realized they were still so close, But he stays. They only have each other. It’s so similar, and so different to how it was before. Before, Bodhi had been a scared pilot, and Galen a desperate project manager. Perhaps it’s the feeling that’s similar.
Maybe it starts like this then. Two men deciding to change the future. They’ve done it before. Bodhi thinks together they will do it again.