Chapter Text
Chad remembers the exact moment he realized he wanted to marry Carlos.
It was late, probably early morning - and normally Chad wouldn't be up this late, he has a strict sleep schedule, but Carlos wanted to binge some nerd show, and for Carlos...well. Sleep could wait. So they had positioned themselves on the couch, blankets strategically placed for maximum warmth, and powered through.
It's afterwards that it happens. Chad remembers the gentle lull of noises outside, remembers the gentle glow of the television as it lingered on a paused screen, remembers Dude, lying on top of the blankets, snoring on Carlos' lap. Carlos had dozed off, too, leaning on Chad's chest, hands resting on Dude. Chad didn't make any move to turn off the TV, not at risk of disturbing Carlos - he had sat there, listening to his boyfriend's steady breaths, looking at the freckles highlighted by the soft light, relishing in the calm of the moment. He'd wanted to stay there forever, but Carlos woke up, sleepily shifting off of Chad and taking his body warmth with him.
"Did I miss the finale?" Carlos yawned, rubbing his eyes, careful not to disturb Dude.
"We can watch it again later." Chad assured, knowing he'd probably rewatch that stupid show 20 times over if Carlos wanted to, and he wouldn't even mind. Carlos hummed and leaned back onto Chad, a comfortable silence falling over the room. Carlos was beautiful, hair messy from sleep, lips slightly parted, clenching at the blanket. He was normally such a force of energy, which Chad adored, but it was nice to see him calm, too. It made Chad feel special, feel like Carlos trusted him enough to let his guard down, to rest.
"Babe, what are you thinking about? Your heart is going, like, a mile a minute." Carlos laughed.
"You." Chad replied, instantly. Carlos shifted against him, but didn't move, and Chad would've sworn he was blushing.
"You fucking sap." Carlos murmured. "Calm down for a second, honestly."
"Nah." Chad said, and Carlos groaned and moved his head onto Chad's lap, looking into his eyes. Carlos' eyes were stunning - Chad had never quite understood why the eyes were the windows to the soul, but he was always amazed at how deep Carlos' eyes seemed to go, how vibrant and warm the brown seemed.
He wanted this. God, he wanted this forever, wanted them forever.
"I'm going back to sleep." Carlos said, so quietly he might've not said it at all. Chad nodded, and reached to run his fingers through Carlos' hair. Carlos let him, drifting off to sleep so quickly that Chad was left alone with his thoughts again.
He doesn't mention it later, obviously, because Carlos gets skittish about long term plans, like he doesn't expect them to last the week. It used to offend Chad, but he understands that it's just how Carlos is - confident in himself, but still worried that Chad might move on, worried that Chad is projecting a level of intensity to them that isn't actually there. So Chad is quiet, because the last thing he wants is to scare Carlos off.
He still thinks about it. Like, all the time. He plans the proposal a million times over; plans doing it in front of friends, in front of strangers, alone in the privacy of their house, sometimes entertaining the possibility that Carlos beats him to it. He thinks about what planning the wedding would be like - they'd probably fight about colors and guests and location, but Carlos would probably secretly want something romantic and fairytale, and Chad knows that he would wear whatever mess Carlos wanted him to wear. He thinks about them being domestic, about fighting over takeout, about choosing curtains and holding hands at the grocery store. He thinks about wedding bands, thinks about wearing his declaration of love on his hand and pinning his heart to his sleeve.
Carlos catches him smiling at random moments, sometimes. "What's got you so happy?" He'll joke, rolling his eyes.
"Your freckles are like constellations." Chad might respond, watching as Carlos' skin reddens, accentuating the freckles further, and maybe Carlos throws something nonlethal at him, for dramatic effect.
Would it be Carlos Charming, or Chad de Vil? Chad feels like a schoolgirl with a crush, doodling hearts in his notebook during recess, but he could care less about how pathetic it might seem. His heart thumps against his chest when he looks at Carlos, and it doesn't hurt, but reminds him that he knows what he wants, and that there's plenty of time to get it.