Chapter Text
[21:37 ] Unknown: Hey, I heard you were short of some change but offered certain services - I’ll pay you for one night with me; no strings attached, nothing dangerous.
[21:39] Dan: i’m sorry, but do i look like a fucking prostitute?
[21:40] Unknown: Wait, who are you?
[21:41] Dan: who are YOU, some random stranger texting me at night asking me for a fuck?
[21:42] Unknown: Shit, I’m really sorry
[21:44] Unknown: I was told that this was the number for someone named Ariel, whose services I seek, but I get the feeling this is someone else
[21:45] Dan: the fuck?
[21:45] Dan: i’m a guy, i don’t even know an ariel
[21:46] Unknown: I really am sorry for disturbing you, I must sound like a massive creep
“Damn right, you do,” Dan mutters to himself, unsure whether to laugh or feel alarmed.
Okay, he won’t lie to himself, it is pretty funny. Maybe he’ll allow himself a little fun…
[21:49] Dan: how much?
[21:50] Unknown: What?
[21:50] Dan: how much were you willing to pay?
[21:51] Unknown: I can’t tell if you are admitting to being Ariel or just wanting to know the salary and in both cases, what the fuck
Dan snorts.
[21:52] Dan: sorry chap, but i’m not for sale so no to the former
[21:53] Unknown: …
[21:53] Unknown: Okay
[21:54] Dan: you could hit up a nightclub or something
[21:55] Dan: you could find plenty of girls there
[21:55] Dan: or dudes, or non-binary folk
[21:56] Dan: or aliens, if you’re into that
[21:57] Unknown: Idk if i’m into aliens
[21:57] Unknown: but if you find any let me know
[21:58] Unknown: Maybe they’ll take my social awkwardness and clumsiness as the height of sexiness
[22:00] Dan: i don’t think clumsiness would be a problem unless you stick it in the wrong hole
[22:02] Dan: but ngl i relate to the first trait a depressing amount
[22:05] Unknown: I’m just gonna pretend you didn’t say that first part
[22:07] Unknown: So you’re not one for clubbing or loud bars either?
[22:08] Dan: not really, no
[22:09] Dan: i mean sometimes when i’m feeling particularly adventurous
[22:10] Dan: or i just want a good fuck with someone that isn’t one of my classmates
[22:13] Unknown: Wait so you’re just a student?
[22:14] Unknown: And you’re already having sex?
[22:15] Dan: i’m a uni student, calm down mate
[22:16] Unknown: Ahhhh okay, I see
[22:17] Unknown: Because I was gonna say, if you’re underage you really should wait yk
[22:18] Dan: i feel like i’m getting lectured for something i didn’t do and i feel attacked
[22:19] Dan: although tbf there are a lot of teens out there who do need that talk
[22:21] Dan: wait hold on
[22:21] Dan: just to check yk
[22:22] Dan: you’re not a teen either, right?
[22:23] Unknown: What the fuck, no
[22:23] Dan: right…
[22:24] Dan: how old are u then?
[22:25] Unknown: Not much more than you, I’m within my twenties
[22:27] Dan: ah okay
[22:28] Dan: i mean for all i know you could be lying
[22:29] Unknown: for all I know YOU could be lying
[22:30] Dan: … touché
[22:32] Dan: fr though, if you want a fuck just go to a nightclub
[22:33] Dan: even with alcohol involved it will be a hell of a lot cheaper
[22:35] Dan: and if you drink enough you’ll be unable to remember it the next morning, which is good if the sex is shockingly bad
[22:36] Unknown: I may have laughed a little at that
[22:38] Dan: at the comment about being unable to remember bad sex, or the idea of you clubbing?
[22:39] Unknown: Both
[22:40] Unknown: No joke though I wouldn’t last a minute in a nightclub or bar or whatever
[22:42] Unknown: They’re too loud and with too many people
[22:43] Unknown: And all my friends are either attracted to girls, taken or just not interested
[22:44] Dan: what about making new “friends”?
[22:46] Unknown: I’m just gonna go ahead and admit that I almost never go outside, too much effort
[22:48] Dan: i would relate if i could, but i have to go outside to get to class unless i can learn to teleport
[22:49] Dan: and of course, my occasional round of sex
[22:52] Unknown: However occasionally you have sex, it’s guaranteed to be more frequently than me
[22:53] Dan: yeah i was gonna ask
[22:55] Dan: when WAS the last time you had sex?
[22:56] Dan: if you’re feeling desperate enough to try to ring up a prostitute it must have been a while
[22:57] Dan: wait no, ignore that
[22:57] Dan: sorry
[22:58] Dan: that was really invasive
[23:00] Unknown: Nah it’s fine
[23:02] Unknown: Honestly it was so long ago that it doesn’t matter how much I tell you
[23:03] Unknown: in the sense that it was long enough ago that there is no way my actions back then can reflect on me now
[23:06] Dan: …
[23:07] Dan: how long ago then?
[23:08] Unknown: The last time I had sex was with my ex-gf in uni…
[23:08] Unknown: so…
[23:09] Unknown: about six years ago
[23:12] Dan: mate
[23:12] Dan: how have you
[23:13] Dan: not had sex
[23:13] Dan: in six. fucking. years.
[23:15] Unknown: Now I’M the one being lectured
[23:16] Unknown: And like I said earlier, a combination of laziness and social awkwardness
[23:18] Dan: you shouldn’t let it hold you back that much jesus christ
[23:19] Unknown: You’re bullying me :(
[23:21] Dan: if it’s that bad just go to a fucking club, social awkwardness be damned
[23:23] Unknown: Easy for you to say, Casanova
[23:25] Dan: i’m hardly casanova, it’s just the occasional fuck
[23:26] Unknown: Define “occasional”
[23:28] Dan: i mean not that often cus i have my studies and whatnot
[23:29] Dan: maybe once every three or four weeks?
[23:30] Unknown: Remember that you’re speaking to someone about as sexually active as a rock
[23:30] Unknown: so to me, you’re basically Casanova-level
[23:32] Dan: fair point
[23:32] Dan: i am casanova
[23:33] Unknown: You are Casanova
[23:38] Dan: oh fuck
[23:38] Dan: i should have been asleep ages ago
[23:39] Dan: i have to go
[23:41] Unknown: Alright, old man
[23:43] Dan: mate if you’re as old as you say you are you’re closer to death than me
[23:45] Unknown: I mean you could die in a natural disaster or accident while I live on to be an old cat man
[23:46] Dan: honestly i welcome death
[23:47] Unknown: What
[23:48] Dan: goodnight
*
The lecture hall is too stuffy, as it always is, since no-one ever opens the puny windows tucked away near the ceiling - the professor claims that it’s because they should appreciate the summer warmth while they can, but Dan suspects it’s just laziness. Much to the students' detriment, for it’s only day three of what is expected to be a week-long heat wave.
Dan doesn’t want to be here. He’s known this since before he even started the course, but with each passing day his determination crumbles just that little bit more.
It’s not like he misses school, God forbid. In his experience, school translates to being tormented by students and teachers alike, social exclusion and near-infinite piles of notes and research, ninety percent of which he knew he would never use or remember. University, it turned out, was much the same - the only difference is that now he either spent Saturday nights in a stranger’s bed, or nursing a bad headache and deflated ego after being rejected by all the partygoers.
This is not the place for him, nothing about him or his wishes suit the college life. What he wants is convenience, fun and comfort; what he gets is expectations, work and restrictions.
It’s whenever he thinks like this that he tries to remind himself that at the end of all this he shall have a degree, but then a small voice in his head will always ask ‘What next?’. Because that is the thing: what comes next? He doesn’t want to while away the rest of his life in a dingy law office, bored and regretting everything, but right now that’s where it seems to be headed.
He knows that when the lecture finally ends he’ll plod back to his dorm room and sleep for the rest of the evening. He’ll wake up the next morning to a measly breakfast and a day no different to the one before. He’ll count down the days until the weekend, then he’ll count down the weekends until term ends, then he’ll count down the term endings until he graduates, and the cycle of counting down will go on and on until he has nothing to live for, no goals to work towards.
This lecture may be moving along too slowly, but everything else is moving too quickly.
Dan doesn’t want to be here. But then again, he has nowhere else to be.