Archive of Our Own

Jaehwan never remembers his name when he wakes up - it's one of those shitty things about dreams: you forget things when you open your eyes to the sunlight of the next day. Jaehwan always forgets his name but never his face. Never his face, never his plush pink lips and round eyes and strong dark brows beneath soft pink hair. How can he ever forget a face like that?

"Will you remember me this time?" the pink haired boy asks, his fingers laced with Jaehwan as they slowly stride through a museum. Marble statues stare off into the distance and Jaehwan has his sights only on the beautiful male walking beside him.

"I'll try," Jaehwan replies. "Only if you'll remember what my face looks like."

His pretty pink blossom laughs, a bright squeaky sort of laugh and his heart swells. "We've shown up in each other’s dreams, like, half a dozen times now! I can't understand how I forget a nose like that." He taps Jaehwan's nose with a crooked finger and Jaehwan squawks in indignation.

"I get enough teasing from Hongbin and Sanghyuk," he grumbles, tugging childishly on his boy's hand. "Not you too."

"Will this make it better?" A soft kiss from those lovely lips presses against his own, slotted and sweet and addicting. Jaehwan sighs into it, one hand coming up to cradle his face and hold him there. They part after a moment but Jaehwan doesn't step back, just presses his forehead against the other's.

"Say my name," he breathes against Jaehwan's lip. "Remember me and say my name." Fingers caress Jaehwan's face, mapping out his features and tracing his lips, desperation light in his touch.

"Seokjin," Jaehwan whispers. "My Seokjin, my sweet Seokjinnie." They go through this every time, a beat of confusion where Jaehwan doesn't remember Seokjin's name and bewilderment flashing across Seokjin's face when he sees Jaehwan. Jaehwan just wants to remember, is that too damn much to ask?

They lay together in Seokjin's bed later that evening, Jaehwan curling around Seokjin's form and tucking his head beneath his chin. Seokjin grumbles that he's not a baby and Jaehwan giggles, cooing that his Jinnie is a precious little baby. He earns a sharp jab to the stomach for that quip before he eventually dozes off with Seokjin giggling beneath him.

Except, when you sleep in dreams, you wake up in your world and Jaehwan tries to reign in his name before it dissipates from his lips but.

It's gone.

His name is gone from his memory, leaving Jaehwan sitting his empty bed in bewilderment, wondering wondering wondering why he can never remember his name. Jaehwan helplessly questions if he'll ever recall his face, phantom fingers tracing his cheeks and chin only to forget what Jaehwan looks like when he wakes up.

Jaehwan sighs, stares at his hands, and speculates when he'll see the pink haired boy again.

Or that maybe the boy isn't real and it's all just figments of his imagination. Hakyeon always did say he had an active imagination.

---

One month passes, two months passes, and the mysterious male doesn't show up in his dreams anymore. Jaehwan remembers the pink haired boy begging to be remembered, and Jaehwan remembers pleading for him to remember his name but... Maybe that's all that was. Just a dream. Just several really vivid dreams with a pretty boy that his brain concocted.

The more he thinks about his dreams, the less it makes sense and the more confused he gets.

That is, until he gets one of Those Dreams.

You know, those dreams that plays like a movie with badly damaged film, where it skips scenes and blurs at the edges and you don't remember how you ended up at Point C from Point 2 but there you are and Jaehwan is running to catch up with his familiar stranger of a lover.

"Hey!" he yells, his feet running but he's not moving. "Hey!" The male doesn't acknowledge him - maybe he doesn't hear Jaehwan? His name comes flooding back to his memory, acting as if it never left.

"Seokjin!"

Jaehwan gets a glimpse of dark brows, surprised eyes and lips parted in a reply that gets wretched away as he wakes up to Sanghyuk crashing into his chest.

"YAH!" screams Jaehwan, smacking Sanghyuk's head. "The hell is that for?!"

"You sleep too much," complains the blonde, shaking his hair from his eyes and scrambling off the bed. "Come play with me! I can't find Hongbin so you're the next best thing around here."

"I'm flattered," Jaehwan snorts, throwing back his covers and sliding out of bed. "Let me get changed and we'll go play." Sanghyuk lets out a cheer and dances out of the room, mindful to close the door behind him as he exits. At least the kid has some manners.

As Jaehwan reaches for his pastel pink and white jacket, he remembers. He remembers the pink haired male. It’s a brief jolt, a flash of memory that disappears like lightning in the sky.

Holding the jacket in his hands, he murmurs, "Are you really a dream?"

Of course, there's no answer and the puzzled silence that can only come up after a particularly confusing dream is broken by Sanghyuk shrieking, "Huuurry up!"

---

"Do you think there's more to this universe?"

Jaehwan can feel Wonshik's curious gaze at his question and he turns to meet his friend's cute, droopy eyes.

"Like, alternate realities? Or maybe other worlds?" Jaehwan clarifies, gesturing aggressively with one hand in the air. He's been thinking about the boy from his dreams again - he's walked his world, knows it like the back of his hand and despite that, not once has he ever come across anything like the museum or the blank eyed statue. There has to be a reason.

"It's not really like you to speculate about these sort of things," Wonshik replies, bumping his shoulder against Jaehwan's teasingly. "Usually you try to dare me to eat the flowers and guess what color the petals will turn my teeth to."

Jaehwan shoves back, whining loudly as Wonshik dramatically falls into one of the flowerbeds that is scattered in their world. It's a beautiful world, rich in color and detail, filled with fields of pristine flowers and pools of silvery waters and a sky where the sun and moon lingers together in decisive harmony. No one is sure who named their world but it's collectively known as "Shangri-La." Paradise. A small flower sticks to Wonshik's purple hair, matching his elegant deep violet robes. Amethyst. Jaehwan reaches out and plucks the little blossom, letting it fall back to its brethren.

"Really though, what's with the speculations?" Wonshik prompts, moving to nestle his head on Jaehwan's shoulder. His eyes flutter, signifying that he is considering taking a nap right then and there but Jaehwan isn't about to sit in a meadow for two hours with Wonshik snoring into his ear. Nudging Wonshik off and laughing a little at his complaining whine, he replies:

"I keep having these dreams," Jaehwan admits. "I keep seeing this guy with pink hair and he's standing there in a world lit in gold.”

"Like... My world?"

"No. A different sort of golden light. We're standing in a museum of sorts. And a strange house that's all dark and mysterious. There's, like, no flowers? It's not Shangri-La. I’ve seen him so many times but I never… Remember his name. I feel like I should remember his name but I don’t." At Wonshik’s concerned expression, Jaehwan pauses before shaking his head and grinning at his friend. Perhaps his dreams are just that: dreams. "Maybe I've been eating too much of Hakyeon's cooking lately - didn't Sanghyuk get nightmares once from his rice balls?"

"I think his nightmare was about the rice balls," Wonshik corrects with a laugh, the concerned tension easing from his face.

"Help! Help! They're about to eat meeeee!!" Jaehwan lilts his voice to imitates Sanghyuk's whiny tone and winces when he feels a hard smack to the back of his neck. Turning, he grins at their new arrival. "Hyogi! We were juuust talking about you~!"

"Riiiight," drawls Sanghyuk, adjusting the sleeves his pretty black and white floral-patterned cover. "Hakyeon is calling everyone to lunch now."

"...He's not cooking, right?" Really, those rice balls were pretty terrifying - terrifyingly bland. He still fondly remembers the way Taekwoon took a bite before subtly setting it back with the others and pretending as if nothing happened.

"Taekwoon kicked him out the kitchen, so we're good." Sanghyuk stamps his feet a little as Jaehwan stands up before helping up Wonshik as well. "Huuuurry up, you two are taking sooo long."

"I'm gonna bring David the peacock back out," threatens Jaehwan and Sanghyuk's eyes widen in worry.

"Hahaha....." But their youngest friend casts a wary look around them as they make their way down the small hill, his eyes peeled for the elusive peacock.

Lunch is held in Taekwoon's small realm, his part lit in dark blue. The ground here has a fine covering of the silvery water but it doesn't soak their clothes or dampens their shoes as they tread through it towards his house.

"There you are!" Hakyeon trills, tugging in Jaehwan and Wonshik, hands tight around their wrists. "What took you so long?"

"It's been like five minutes," Sanghyuk complains, trailing in last and nudging the door shut with his foot.

"And that's enough time for food to get cold!" Hakyeon pulls them into the dining room - as if they aren't at Taekwoon's house about five times a week - and plops them into their seats. Hongbin is already working on a rice ball and flashes them a toothy grin around a mouthful.

"Nice to see you two finally joining us," he teases, nudging the plate of rice balls towards them.

"Five! Minutes!" emphasizes Sanghyuk, dropping into the chair next to Hongbin with a huff before snagging a rice ball for himself. Taekwoon appears a moment later, bringing in a bubbling pot of stew and setting it down on the center of the table. He gestures a little towards the seafood noodle soup before plopping down in his seat with Hakyeon sitting across from him.

They chatter and eat, Jaehwan cursing whenever flecks of the red soup splatters towards his pastel pink and white shirt each time Wonshik's accidentally drops pieces of crab back into the pot. "Be fucking careful," he chides and Wonshik huffs.

"It's not my fault it's slippery," he grumbles, adjusting his chopsticks to tackle the wayward crab again.

"Or you just suck at using chopsticks," Hongbin says, flashing Wonshik a sharp grin. Wonshik throws a wadded-up napkin at Hongbin’s head in retaliation, grumbling to himself.

"Don't eat too much crab," Hakyeon says, apropos to nothing. Wonshik looks wounded for a second before they realize the eldest male's words are directed to the friend across from him.

Taekwoon sucks on a claw and blinks innocently.

"Are... Aren't you allergic?" Sanghyuk asks.

Taekwoon nods and continues to pick out the meat from inside the claw with his chopstick. Sanghyuk lets the subject drop as Hakyeon lets out a long-suffering sigh.

"So how's it going, children?" Hakyeon asks brightly, ignoring the fact that Taekwoon is steadily working his way through a second crab. "Anything interesting? See anything cool? Read anything new? Any weird dreams?"

"Jaehwannie's been having dreams," Wonshik says around a shrimp. "About a pink haired guy."

"Ooh~" Hakyeon coos, flashing Jaehwan a teasing grin. "Now is that so?"

"He thinks he's from some different reality," Wonshik continues, oblivious to Jaehwan's death stare. He yelps when Jaehwan jabs him hard in the throat, making him choke on his shrimp.

"A different reality?" Hongbin says with a small laugh. "You're saying there's another world outside Shangri-La? I'd hate that - what's a better place than here?"

Jaehwan shrugs, toying with a mussel on his plate. He misses the silent exchange beside him between Hakyeon and Taekwoon, the latter finally setting down his crab. "It might just be a dream," he says finally. "Maybe I ate too many of Hakyeon's rice balls and now I'm having all these dreams of strangers in alternate realities."

"What the hell does that mean?" squawks Hakyeon, puffing up.

"Your rice balls are hallucinogenic," Jaehwan teases, trying to squash down the unsettling feeling curling in his stomach. "Have you been dreaming of pretty boys?"

Hakyeon sniffs. "Why dream when he's right here?" He winks at Taekwoon. Taekwoon proceeds to fake-gag. "You're so unappreciative." The conversation shifts away from Jaehwan's dreams to heckling Hakyeon and he's a little grateful for the redirection.

He's not sure how to bring up the fact that he has touched the dream boy, felt his warm skin, heard his playful voice, kisses lips that begged him to remember but it's been months and he can't... remember. He doesn't know what to remember - to be frank, he's slowly forgetting how the male looks and for some reason that sinks a heavy weight in his chest and he has trouble shaking it away. He tries to join in on the conversation but he can't ignore the coil of anxiety knotting over and over in his lungs, trying to squeeze memories out of him on each exhale. Jaehwan settles to quietly pick out pieces of crawfish to eat as Sanghyuk and Hongbin team up to hassle poor Taekwoon.

As they're gathering up their dirty dishes, Jaehwan almost drops his plate when Taekwoon suddenly sidles up to him and whispers, "Hang around here for a bit okay? Don't leave just yet." Before he can ask Taekwoon to clarify, the other male skirts off to heckle Sanghyuk and gets swatted at the back of his neck in return.

It feels like forever, in between the dish washing and the neck chopping and Sanghyuk trying to jump off the couch and tackle down a passing Hongbin (then getting screeched at by Hakyeon who walked in just in time), but the three youngest all finally leave to go to Hongbin's place for games. Jaehwan perches nervously on the edge of the couch, waiting for Hakyeon and Taekwoon to leave the kitchen. He doesn't have to wait long, Taekwoon appearing and gingerly holding two mugs of tea, one of which he passes to Jaehwan with a small smile. Hakyeon enters last with his own mug, already taking stuttered sips from the too hot liquid.

"So... What did you two want to talk about?" Jaehwan asks. "Is it about the rice balls? Did you really spike them with hallucinogens this whole time?"

"I'm going to ground you," Hakyeon threatens, as if Jaehwan isn't a grown man. "No, we want to talk to you about the dreams."

"Aren't they just... dreams?" he asks uncertainly. He thinks back to warm touches and forgotten names and bites his tongue. It almost feels too real to be dreams but he can’t imagine them being, meaning, anything more than that. "Don't get my hopes up for something like this. People have reoccurring dreams all the time, don't they?" He's not feeling too confident about the look exchanged by the two older males.

"Not many people know this," Taekwoon says, sipping on his tea. "But there are other worlds besides ours but it takes a lot to learn of their existence."

"How do you both know?"

"I told him," Hakyeon says. "I've crossed these alternate worlds, worlds that are so vastly different from ours, with some containing people we've never met and versions of us we were never supposed to meet." He lets out a small laugh. "You know those times where I vanish all day without a trace and reappear as if nothing happened? That's me moving through alternate worlds."

"How can you do it?" Jaehwan asks, leaning forward.

"Sheer determination." Taekwoon elbows Hakyeon, making the tea slosh onto his hands. "Ow! Fucker. Okay, I actually had a dream about an alternate version of myself, begging for help in a world where I was pulled apart and stitched together, a world where my skin was riddled with glass and ruled by love and pain." Hakyeon's expression shutters over a little. "It's an alternate world to Shangri-La. You were all there. Ever since then, I was able to walk through other realities of myself. I found a reality of myself where everything moved backwards and my hair was this absolutely ridiculous scarlet!" Hakyeon shudders, patting at his black bangs. "But he was very sweet and playful."

"Has anyone from other realities crossed to Shangri-La?"

"No... I think it's because we are literally 'Paradise,' we have a little bit more leeway than the other universes. Shangri-La is our oyster and we can do as we please, including walking through other worlds."

"So does this mean I can walk another reality where my mysterious dream boy lives?" Jaehwan asks excitedly, leaning forward, his fingers tight around his tea.

Taekwoon and Hakyeon both hesitate. "We don't know," Taekwoon says finally. "Hakyeon has never traveled to another reality where he isn't there."

"How do I cross realities?"

"It's... Hard work," Hakyeon says, placing his mug down on the coffee table between them. "There's strict rules to follow it's not something you can just wander into and fuck about. There are consequences."

"Like what?"

"Your erasure from all realities," Taekwoon answers bluntly. "All the realities are in balance - each of Hakyeon's realities all have him and the rest of us. If Hakyeon were to be trapped in one reality, the balance would topple because two Hakyeons can't be in one reality and the universal solution isn't to send Hakyeon back to Shangri-La but to eliminate him completely. He has to ‘wake up’ and come back to Shangri-La in his set amount of time.”

Hakyeon's eyes are sad. "This is a boy you're in love with, isn't it?" he says, his tone giving away that he already knows the answer. "It can't work out. It can never work out. You can't live in his world, because we need you here, and he can't live our world because his world needs him there."

"There has to be a way," argues Jaehwan, gripping his mug of tea so hard that he fears he might shatter the ceramic beneath his fingers. "How about a reality where we all live together?"

Taekwoon laughs softly. "A reality where we all exist together?" he asks. "Don't be ridiculous, Jaehwan."

"What am I supposed to do with this information?" he continues, his temper flaring a little. "Why have it if I can't use it?"

"I thought it'd be better if you knew than if you were just left in the dark..." Hakyeon trails off.

"How did you travel realities?"

"Don't do anything stupid," Taekwoon interjects.

"Me? Do something stupid? No such thing."

"It's complicated, requires a special drink to allow your physical form to cross over instead of just your conscience."

"And how often do you do it?" He directs his question towards Hakyeon.

Hakyeon falters, eyes flashing as he sits up straighter. Taekwoon twitches, eyes darting between them, between Jaehwan's bristling form and Hakyeon's haughty posture. "It doesn't matter," he answers.

Jaehwan wants to throw the tea but he just tightens his fingers around his mug, trying to ground himself with the lukewarm temperatures. "Right, sure, it's alright when you can do it," he jeers, uncaring that he's being rude. "Cha Hakyeon, the unspoken leader, can do whatever he damn well pleases."

"Look, I know what I'm doing because jumping my realities is easier," Hakyeon insists. "Jumping someone else's world? So much shit can go wrong, Jaehwan! Your existence can get erased! It’s not something to take lightly!"

"It's worth it for Seokjin!" Jaehwan shouts. It doesn't occur to him that he yelled his name until Taekwoon asks in that soft voice of his, "His name is Seokjin?"

"Seokjin... That's his name... I remember his name. Seokjin. The pink haired boy from the golden world filled with shadows of temptations." Jaehwan barely hears his mug slip from his now slack fingers and crashing to the floor, spilling its contents everywhere. "I never remember his name when I wake up. Never. Hakyeon, this has to mean something!"

Hakyeon purses his lips. "Fluke," he dismisses and even Taekwoon shoots Hakyeon a piercing look. "A flurry of emotions can bring upon many things, including memories."

"No," Jaehwan insists. "It means something, I just know it and if you're not going to help, I'll figure out something myself!" Jaehwan stands up, minding the spilled tea and broken ceramic before exiting the room, still fuming at Hakyeon's words. He's going to find his way to Seokjin - if the universe allowed Hakyeon to save an alternate version of himself, why would it taunt Jaehwan with someone he can't have? He bangs the door shut as he leaves, making sure Hakyeon can hear him.

Unbeknownst to him, Hakyeon is clutching his hair in distress, Taekwoon's hand rubbing his back carefully.

"There's too many risks," Hakyeon breathes, drawing in a shuddering breath. "I don't know what could even happen if he jumps realities into one that isn't one of ours.

"You know the universe wouldn't make something so impossible," reasons Taekwoon, continuing to pat Hakyeon's back.

"As if we know why the universe does what it does. Hell, to this day we still don’t know why I was even chosen."

Taekwoon gives him a sympathetic smile. "You're going to have to help him, Hakyeon. You're the only person who even understands what's happening, and we both don't want worst come to worst."

Hakyeon sighs. "I hate when you make sense, Taekwoonie."

The pats are firmer now, fond but reprimanding. "I know."

---

Seokjin always wakes up with a name on his tongue: Jaehwan. He doesn't know why that name lingers on his lips with the faint memory of kisses but it's there on mornings after a dream. It's a vivid dream, he's walking the gallery just like any other day except it’s just him and Jaehwan.

The problem is that he never remembers what Jaehwan looks like.

He wants to dismiss it as a very intense dream but the fact that they're reoccurring, that he wakes up with Jaehwan's name pressed in his mouth like a promise he's not sure if he should keep, must mean something more. He doesn't know how to bring it up to his friends, and he doesn't think he wants to - it would worry them and that's the last thing he wants to do.

Of course, it's Yoongi who picks up on Seokjin's shift in moods. When isn't it Yoongi? He finds Seokjin perusing the vast library within the endless museum, Seokjin tracing his fingers across the dusty bindings and gold letterings for books about dreams and universes and names without faces but emotions so heartbreakingly strong that Seokjin's heart races whenever he thinks about Jaehwan. Who is he, and why does he affect Seokjin so?

"Something on your mind, Seokjin?" Yoongi asks, flipping over the top book on the small stack piled on a nearby table. "'Dreams and Realities,'" he reads out loud. "You having nightmares?"

"The opposite," Seokjin corrects, rushing over and tugging the book out of Yoongi's hand. He gathers the rest in his arms and holds them close. "Don't worry about it."

Yoongi frowns. "You've been acting weird," he says. "Well, weirder than usual."

"Keep that up and I'll throw a book at you." Seokjin jerks his head towards a nearby thick encyclopedia and Yoongi scrunches his nose in distaste. "Like I said, don't worry about it - it's just something that's caught my attention."

"Does it have to do with 'Jaehwan'?"

Seokjin freezes at Yoongi's words and the books clatter out of his arms with heavy thuds onto the marbled floor. "W-what do you mean?"

"I hear you mumbling his name sometimes," Yoongi admits, rubbing behind his ear a little. "He's not from our temptation world, is he?"

Seokjin laughs, high and a little hysterical as he gathers his books back up. "No," Seokjin replies. "But the universe sure as hell is making him one."

"Let me help." Yoongi crouches before he reaches out to scoop up one of the books and Seokjin lets out a small hiss of distress. "Seokjin, please. There's no way in hell you're going to read all these books by yourself."

"I can try! I don't want to burden you."

"It's not a burden - I'm offering to help you. Please." Yoongi already has one hand pressed onto the cover of the last book left on the floor and he's giving Seokjin a beseeching look.

Seokjin wavers then relents, and Yoongi scoops up the book off the floor. It's the same one that he flipped over just moments ago to read the title. "Fine, but don't tell the others - I don't need more people worrying about me as is."

"What are you afraid of? I don't think they'll think you're, like, nutty or something."

"I'm just afraid..." Seokjin hesitates, fingers gripping around the books, feeling the covers resist beneath his touch. "...That they're all just dreams. That he's not real." Seokjin hangs his head, feeling the insecurities and fears and doubts climbing in his throat, threatening to unseat Jaehwan's name that sits on his tongue.

Yoongi plops down into one of the cushy library chairs and opens up 'Dreams and Realities.' "Somehow," Yoongi says idly as he flips through the pages. "I think it's real - you wouldn't go through this much work for someone that's just a dream."

---

When Jaehwan meets Seokjin again, in what feels like lifetimes later, they're in his world. He thinks Seokjin would fit in perfectly with the beautiful blossoms, soft and lovely just like them. Seokjin turns in a circle, trying to take in everything, and Jaehwan realizes it's the first time they're in his world - usually, Jaehwan wakes up and finds himself standing in the gallery and Seokjin's fingers are skating across his arm before linking their hands together. It's been so long, so long, and there must be a reason that he's finally walking the dreamverse with Seokjin right after his spat with Hakyeon.

"Jaehwan," Seokjin breathes, staring up at the sky decorated with the dual celestial bodies. "Your world is beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you, Seokjinnie."

Seokjin smacks him on the arm. "You're so cheesy," he grumbles and Jaehwan grins before he winks at his dream boy.

"Only for you~" he croons and he laughs into the kiss pressed onto his lips to shut him up.

"Show me around?"

"Tour guide Jaehwan here, just for you!" Jaehwan links his arm with Seokjin and leads him down the hill. They cross through Taekwoon's part, Seokjin in awe at the silver waters that parts on each step. They push through the hanging leaves in the foggy, shadowy realm that is Hakyeon's. Seokjin admires the endless frozen golden waterfalls that's Wonshik's realm, silver petals falling and skimming across their skin. Jaehwan introduces Seokjin to David in Sanghyuk's part, a blot of blue and green in a world of cream, and he can't help but marvel at the fact that the peacock even exists in his dreams. He makes Seokjin a flower crown from the abundant flowers in Hongbin's place and it perches beautifully atop his pink hair, a bundle of deep pinks and greens and little berries. Jaehwan walks Seokjin through his land last, a simple place with a simple, alternating rainbow of colors and a few odd stone fixtures. Seokjin's eyes are wide as he takes in their surroundings, letting his fingers press against the glass water displays around them.

"Your world is beautiful," Seokjin breathes. "So much different than my world. Mine teems with temptations and shadows that are two shades too dark to be normal."

"My world is lacking," Jaehwan muses, helping Seokjin onto one of the platforms. "It lacks you." Seokjin smacks his arm. "No, it's true! Though, it's funny that they call this place Shangri-La - Paradise - but it's incomplete."

"Maybe I can stay here? We can find a way for me to stay here permanently."

Jaehwan shakes his head, Hakyeon's annoying warning reverberating throughout his skull even here. He can never escape that nagging guy. "Hakyeon says it's impossible - there are, like, other worlds. Alternate realities of me and you, and if one reality is disrupted then you're eliminated from all of them to restore balance."

"Is that even how alternate realities work? It sounds fake as hell," scoffs Seokjin, but he doesn't press any further. Instead he asks timidly, "Is there really... really no hope for the either of us?"

Jaehwan straightens his back. "I'll find a way!" he says determinedly. "Don't you worry, Seokjinnie." He cradles his lover's face, gently pressing a kiss onto those beautiful lips, thumbs stroking soft cheeks. He breathes the promise into Seokjin's mouth in between kisses that turn harder and more desperate as they remember that you wake up from dreams.

---

When Jaehwan jerks awake the next morning, his boxer briefs are stained. "I guess... Technically this was a wet dream, huh," he mumbles to himself, grimacing at the stickiness. In another world, Seokjin is shucking off his underwear and complaining about stupid pretty boys that makes him come both in dreams and in real life and making him have to move laundry day closer because he's fresh out of underwear. Jaehwan sneezes.

After Jaehwan washes up and changes into his day clothes, he meanders out to find who's hanging about and finds Hongbin and Sanghyuk lurking behind one of his large water fixtures.

"What are you two up to?" he questions. Hongbin shushes Jaehwan, even though no one is around.

"Sanghyuk stole all of Hakyeon's clothes and we hid them around Shangri-La," Hongbin giggles. "So now he's running around in his underwear trying to find them and us. He'll be at it all day - we hid them in some preeeetty interesting places."

Jaehwan smacks their necks. "Are you asking for a death wish?"

"Hakyeon won't kill us," Sanghyuk says placidly, brushing off the smacks. Damn Sanghyuk and his muscle. "He loves us too much."

"Did you two leave your houses unlocked too, by any chance? You know he's always down for petty revenge." Jaehwan almost laughs out loud as both their faces pale in realization.

"Oh fuck no," Sanghyuk yelps, taking off towards his house, his sheer coat flapping behind him. "Noooooooo!" Hongbin chases after him, leaving Jaehwan with a thoughtful epiphany.

Hakyeon... out all day? Jaehwan turns towards Hakyeon's place, a blot of grays and purples and overhanging plants. Hakyeon would have no immediate reason to head back to his place and Jaehwan nods to himself as he hurries towards Hakyeon's house, ready to snoop around for clues about alternate universes.

Pushing aside the heavy hanging vines that covers the door, Jaehwan is a little surprised to find the door is still unlocked - though, he suspects Hakyeon too thinks that Hongbin and Sanghyuk wouldn't dare return to the scene of the crime if there was the off chance that they could get caught. Casting a glance over his shoulder, Jaehwan sneaks into Hakyeon's empty house. Inside, he makes his way to where Hakyeon's bedroom is, figuring that it would be the only place he'd hide anything secretive - it's common knowledge that Hakyeon allows them free range of his house but there must be a space in his bedroom that no one knows about.

He enters the bedroom, no problem, and scans the room for anywhere that Hakyeon may hide any information about alternate realities. It's pretty bare, besides the nightstand by the bed and the closet. There's a shelf full of framed pictures but he doubts anything could be there. He resolves to try to dig through the nightstand first and makes his way over before he trips over something by the side of the bed.

"For fuck's sake," he mutters, nudging aside the deep blue robes that he just tripped over. "They really snuck in with Taekwoon here? They were really asking for death." Jaehwan snorts a little before tugging open the drawer and rooting around. He thumbs through a journal (comes up empty), pushes around the clutter inside (he yanks his hand out after he bumps into a bottle of lube), even presses against the bottom (comes up empty part two). He sighs and tries to rearrange everything back to how they originally looked before he shuts the drawer. Jaehwan turns his attention to the closet and opens the doors.

"They really cleaned you out, huh," Jaehwan mutters, eyeing the empty hangers. Clicking on the interior light, Jaehwan is disappointed to find the closet is bare of not just Hakyeon's clothes, but anything else that could hide any information about alternate realities. There's no random box, no book laying on the shelf, nothing. Annoyed, he reaches out and swats petulantly at the hangers, listens to them clatter when something catches his eye behind the moving wires. Halting them with one hand, he peers closer at the wall. "Cha Hakyeon, you sneaky fucking bastard."

Hi fingers trail along the almost invisible line in the wall - or, more accurately, lines that connect into a small square. He digs his nails into the divot and pulls off the false wall with relative ease. The hole isn't deep at all, just enough to hide away a single thin notebook standing upright. He slips the book beneath his shirt and replaces the wall before escaping out the empty house. Another glance around reveals no one in sight and he breathes a sigh of relief - he'll copy down the notes back at his house and return it before Hakyeon even knows it's gone. Nodding determinedly to himself, he sprints back home, hope singing in his veins now that he's one step closer in reuniting with Seokjin.

A pair of feline eyes blink slowly behind a curtain of vines, watching Jaehwan's unknowing back disappear into the distance.

---

Seokjin wakes up, sheets twisted around him and his underwear a little damp. Ugh, stupid pretty boys making him come in his sleep like some horny teenager and making him move laundry day closer. Damn that fucker. Damn that…

Jaehwan.

Oh. He dreamed of Jaehwan again.

It’s been ages since he’s last dreamed of him, nearly to the point where he’s almost forgotten his name. He can still feel his heart hammering in his chest from their kisses, the warmth beneath his fingers as he pressed his hand against Jaehwan’s soft skin, tracing the pretty flower tattoo that blooms across his right shoulder. He tries to picture Jaehwan’s face but already it’s dissolving from his memory like sugar in hot tea but Seokjin can still taste the sweetness of Jaehwan’s affection settling in him. He aches, he misses Jaehwan and, flinging aside his sheets, leaps out of bed to change and head back to the library to find more information about their alternate realities.

He’s determined to find something, anything, that’ll give him a clue of how to reunite with Jaehwan permanently. Cleaning up and redressing himself, Seokjin beelines back to their extensive library and bumps into Yoongi leaving the archives. His friend lifts a brow and asks, “In a rush?”

“Kind of,” Seokjin replies, a little sheepish underneath Yoongi’s amused gaze. “I dreamed of him again. Jaehwan.” He sets his lips into a determined line. “The library is huge, there must be more books about how I can meet him in his world. No, I know there are more books.”

Yoongi steps aside to let Seokjin barrel past. Seokjin heads back to the bookcase where he found several thick books about dream traveling and decides to look through the covers and summaries with a much more critical eye – he’s going to find answers, no matter how long it takes. He hears Yoongi shuffling behind him.

“Have you eaten yet?” he asks.

“No, I came over right after I woke up.” Seokjin traces the spine titled, ‘Understanding the Unconscious Mind’ and pulls it from it spot, flipping through the text for anything that may sound of use to him.

“I’ll get you something to eat then help you go through the books again.” Seokjin hears Yoongi’s shoes click again the tile, the sound slowly growing distant as he walks away and he smiles a little to himself.

“Thanks, Yoongi,” he says, thinking his friend is out of earshot before feeling his smile widen when he hears Yoongi respond, “No problem, Seokjin.” He returns to the book in his hand and moves to sit down so he can thoroughly flip through it. He pauses when the pages fall open to a chapter titled ‘Understanding Dream Worlds.’

Most of the time, dreams are just that: dreams. They are but figment of an overactive mind and many times, dreams occur from subconscious worries, fears, excitement – basically, any sort of heavy emotion can influence dreams.

Rarely, dreams can be interacted with. Almost all the time, dreams are like stories within our minds and we are but another character in it. In very specific and unusual cases, dreams can turn into portals or gateways to another universe. Yes, dear reader, there are alternate universes; dreaming is the best way to travel through these different realities, though it requires a lot of mind power and strange otherworldly forces. However, there has been discoveries where it has been found that a person can consciously walk through these alternate realities providing they have the right sort of drink and a powerful desire to move to other worlds.

When a person chooses to move through these alternate realities through dreaming, it becomes less dreaming with the unconscious mind and instead is a physical act as well as the person’s form leaves their world and enters another. It comes at a cost, as does most things in life, and a person cannot stay permanently in another world. There is a set time limit – eight hours in their world – before they are forcibly “woken” up and returned to their home. If something were to happen to the person while in another world – i.e. death or they get mind-trapped – they will be erased from the universe entirely.

The universe is a fickle being and demands balance. Every alternate reality of yourself has one of you, and instead of returning the original back to their world, the universe eradicates you from existence. A rather grim warning from the endless entity.

Seokjin jolts when he hears the gentle clink of a plate being set next to him. Yoongi peers at him. “Did I scare you, Seokjin?” he asks, sounding apologetic. “I thought you heard me come in.”

“A little,” laughs Seokjin, dogearing the page he’s reading before closing it and reaching for the food Yoongi just brought – a plate with a variety of jam-spread toast. He picks up one with red jam and bites into it with a content sigh at the sweet strawberry flavor bursting on his tongue. “Thank you again.”

“It’s no problem. So, did you find anything?” Seokjin nods and gestures to the book on his lap. Yoongi picks it up, flips it open to where Seokjin marked his page and skims the text with narrowed eyes. “I’m going to be honest with you, Jin – this really sounds out of our hands. And dangerous.” He folds the corner down again before continuing, “And what’s even this drink? It doesn’t even explain what the drink is so how could we replicate it?”

Seokjin bites angrily into his toast, chewing. “It’s just one book, Yoongi,” he says. “There’s probably a book somewhere here that has the drink’s recipe.” He swallows the bite, feeling it stick in his throat as doubt starts climbing back up in his chest. “There… Has to be a book, Yoongi. There just has to be.”

Yoongi’s gaze softens as he nods. “I’ll start looking, okay? Finish your breakfast.”

“Fiiine~” Seokjin whines with a grin but he doesn’t hesitate in devouring the next slice of toast, now with blueberry jam. As Yoongi walks away to check the shelves at the other side of the library, Seokjin feels his smile curve back into a frown. “Jaehwan…” he murmurs to himself, his appetite waning abruptly as his name passes his lips. “Jaehwan, I’m coming okay? Wait for me… I’ll be there soon. I promise.”

---

Jaehwan barely places the fake wall back into its slot when someone clears his throat behind him. He freezes. Maybe if he doesn't move he won't see him.

"Jaehwan," Hakyeon snorts. "I can see you. Come here." Hakyeon doesn't sound mad as much as resigned. Slowly, he turns around to face the older male. Hakyeon is holding a pile of his clothes and giving Jaehwan a tiny smile. "Help me hang my robes back and maybe I'll tell you more about traveling universes than my shitty notes in that journal."

Jaehwan leaps forwards and all but wrenches half of Hakyeon's clothes from his arms. "Where'd you find them?" he asks, sliding them back onto the hangers.

"Hanging from branches, atop Wonshik's frozen waterfalls, hidden in Taekwoon's silverware drawer - you name it, that's where they hid it." Hakyeon sighs, moving to hang up the rest of his clothes, brushing away flecks of petals and leaves. "Taekwoon saw you leaving here - you are a man of opportunity, I see."

Jaehwan flinches but flashes Hakyeon a sheepish smile. "A man's got to take matters into his own hands, y'know?"

"And if he plans on doing that, then I better make sure he doesn't accidentally erase himself from the universe when doing so." Hakyeon hangs up his last robe and turns to Jaehwan. "If you're absolutely serious about this-"

"I am!"

"-Then listen carefully to me - this is something that is dangerous. The universe is neat and tidy and doesn't appreciate getting all mixed up."

"Then why would the universe have me fall in love with someone unattainable?"

"Isn't his world one of temptation, dangling things he cannot have right in front of his nose? You're probably just a pawn of that: you're his temptation and he can't have you."

Jaehwan sucks in a breath that never reaches his lungs, sudden dread squeezing his throat like a vice.

Hakyeon continues, fierce eyes trained on Jaehwan's face. "But perhaps I'm wrong - I'd love to be wrong and maybe the universe doesn't give a damn whether you two fall in love and get together. It gave me the chance to save my alternate from torture but I came back… I don't know what’ll happen if you stay in his world or if he stays in ours. I'm... Scared to find out." Hakyeon blinks and averts his eyes, awkwardly hanging up his last jacket as the words settle heavy in Jaehwan’s mind.

"It'll be fine," Jaehwan tries but he doesn't like the way his blood chills at Hakyeon's desperate words. "This is Paradise... Perhaps this world showed me what will make my life paradise. What happens when temptation and paradise comes together?"

Hakyeon laughs and shakes his head. "I don't know. I guess that's something you'll have to find out."

"And you're going to help me?"

"And I'm going to help you."

Hakyeon instructs Jaehwan to sit on the bed while he prepares the necessary ingredients. As Hakyeon flutters through his house, his mutterings loud and clear and a little sharp as if he's reprimanding Jaehwan's recklessness, Taekwoon shows up. He joins Jaehwan in Hakyeon's room, perching lightly at the corner of the bed while Jaehwan sits cross-legged in the center.

"You know about this too, yeah?" Jaehwan asks.

"Yeah."

"What's it like...?"

Taekwoon shrugs. "I don't know," he replies. "Only Hakyeon's has walked other worlds. I've only waited for his return. He disappears from Shangri-La and I never know if he comes back.”

Jaehwan tries not to let the ominous words bother him too much. "How long does it take?"

"A full night here. Time doesn't work normally wherever you're going, so an hour here can be a week there, but your drink will keep you in this limbo for eight hours before you're woken up again." Taekwoon hesitates, fingers coming up to rub at his neck. "Waiting for Hakyeon… It’s a game where I have no idea if I’ll win or lose because I can’t see the next move. I just have to hope for the very best and that with one of my blinks, I’ll open my eyes and he’ll be right back in his bed as if he never left. His physical body is just… gone. I have nothing to hold onto but hope.” Jaehwan shivers at the bleak desperation in Taekwoon’s voice but before he can say anything, Hakyeon returns.

"Don't scare him, Taekwoonie," Hakyeon chides, walking into the room. He's gingerly carrying a steaming mug of something and carefully passes it to Jaehwan.

"But you're scared too," he returns and Hakyeon chuckles a little hysterically.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be worried for one of my kids?" he asks and Jaehwan feels a small sting of regret for making Hakyeon and Taekwoon worry for what he's planning to do, especially after Taekwoon’s small speech.

"I'll be fine," Jaehwan says, lifting the mug to sniff at the contents. It smells herbal and before he takes a sip to taste, Hakyeon yelps, "Wait! Once you drink it, you have to finish the whole thing as fast as you can so you can get the full eight hours. If you take too long to finish it, you'll fall asleep and cut the hours."

"Is it that potent I mean... It smells like mint tea."

Hakyeon snorts. "It smells like mint but it sure as hell isn't mint."

"What is it."

Hakyeon shrugs.

"How do I know you're not tricking me?"

"Why would I trick you? Besides, if it was a trick, I'd have to deal with you coming back and hunting me down to kick my ass and I do not want to deal with that." Hakyeon fluffs up his pillows and shooes Jaehwan and Taekwoon off so he can pull back the comforter. "Now, get comfy and drink your tea. Don't let the drowsiness stop you."

Jaehwan settles back on the bed and steels himself - he's doing this for Seokjin. For them. They'll finally be together.

Jaehwan lifts the cup to his lips and drinks a mouthful in one go - it's pleasantly lukewarm and he swallows another mouthful and oh. Oh that's the drowsiness Hakyeon is talking about.

"Keep drinking," Taekwoon urges, helping Jaehwan keep the cup by his mouth and he hastily downs the rest of the tea, the cup falling from his grip and he feels himself tip backwards and land in the mound of pillows Hakyeon just prepared. He tries to blink but his eyes stay shut.

The last thing he registers is Hakyeon pulling the comforter up to his chin and whispered words that fail to sound like anything familiar.

He feels himself floating away, light as a cloud dissolving after a storm.

“And the waiting game starts,” Taekwoon murmurs, the comforter that Hakyeon pulled up to Jaehwan’s chin falling away as he disappears in a blink. There’s nothing there to signify that he was even there except the lonesome mug that had rolled out of Jaehwan’s hands as he passed out.

“Good luck, Jaehwannie,” whispers Hakyeon.

---

"Ken?"

Jaehwan blinks. He's standing in a forest, sunlight glimmering through the branches. Despite the fact that the forest is lit up and he can see the blueish gray sky past the autumn leaves, there's something oddly foreboding about the whole place. He tries to take a step and he wobbles - it feels like he's not all here. He barely manages to think, "This isn't right," when the voice calls out again.

"Ken! I finally found you! Ah... What are you wearing?"

Wait.

That's Wonshik's voice.

"Wonshik?" he asks, turning around to the speaker and he blinks as he focuses on... Not Wonshik.

"Wonshik?" asks Not Wonshik. He's definitely Wonshik physically, the same height and face and low cadence of his voice but his hair is black and styled up in an coiff. He's dressed in all black with a matching heavy black collar around his neck, embellished with an elaborately designed silver clasp. "The Mistress liked to fuck with our heads but I doubt so much so that you'd forget my name."

"Right..." Jaehwan doesn't know how to start.

"Anyways, why did you get a whole makeover? I always thought Hongbinnie was her favorite."

"Uhm."

"Come on, let's go find the others!" Not Wonshik wraps his fingers around Jaehwan's wrist and tugs him into walking. "I can't believe she released us into this forest maze - a last chained up trap before we can even find our freedom."

"Y-Yeah..." Jaehwan stumbles a little over a hidden root - Shangri-La is nothing like this place: rough and messy with a small taste of desperation in the air. Wonshik doesn't release his wrist for a second as they pick their way through scraggly bushes and jump chilly creeks to find the others. Jaehwan has no idea how long they've been walking, the sun moving steadily across the sky, and he panics for a moment thinking that he might run out of time and will wake up before even reaching Seokjin's world. Before he can work himself into a proper panic, he remembers Taekwoon's soft voice telling him how time doesn't work the same in other worlds. He manages to steady his heart again before Not Wonshik notices something is amiss. Meanwhile, Not Wonshik is busy picking out the least haphazardly route, carefully helping Jaehwan along. He keeps glancing back towards Jaehwan, as if expecting him to say or do something but since he's not 'Ken,' he has no idea what Not Wonshik wants of him. After what seems like ages, there's a loud snap of branches behind them and a delighted cry.

"Ken! Ravi!" A very familiar voice shouts to them and they spin around and Jaehwan sees Sanghyuk and Taekwoon, both their hairs dyed blonde but Sanghyuk's leans more towards silver... No, wait, they're not his Sanghyuk and Taekwoon. And Not Wonshik is apparently 'Ravi.' They have the matching heavy collars as Ravi glinting from around their necks; Jaehwan unconsciously touches his own bare throat with his free hand.

"Hey!" Ravi cheers excitedly, finally releasing Jaehwan and running to meet Not Sanghyuk and Not Taekwoon. "Hyuk! Leo!"

"Hello," Not Taekwoon - no, Leo - greets, giving Ravi a brief hug. "Why does Ken look different?"

"Mistress gave him a makeover," Ravi says and Jaehwan gives them a sheepish smile. "I guess he was her favorite or something?"

"Really?" says Hyuk in interest. "I always thought it was Hongbin."

"Same!" laughs Ravi. "Come on, let's go find Hongbin and N!" N must be Hakyeon - Jaehwan wonders why Hongbin is the only one who didn't have his name changed but he shrugs it off as they start trekking through the maze of trunks and bushes and hidden holes that Hyuk nearly twists his ankle in.

"I can't wait to get out of here," gripes Hyuk, grabbing Leo's arm to help steady himself out the rabbit hole he tripped into. "When the hell will we find N and Hongbin? I know they have really bad sense of direction but you'd think we'd stumble upon them eventually!"

"Ay..." A voice chastises and Jaehwan's heart leaps at the familiar voice. He turns to see Hongbin and N approaching, both looking just like his Hongbin and Hakyeon except N's hair is dark brown and streaked with green. N is pouting at them. "And here I thought you'd be delighted to finally see us!"

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear to kick your ass," chuckles Ravi, hurrying forward to give Hongbin a hug. "We're all here!"

"What the hell is Ken wearing? And where’s his collar?" Hongbin asks, scandalized. "I thought I was the favorite!"

"Guess you were wrooong," teases Hyuk. "But who cares about favoritism, honestly! We're all here which means we can finally, finally escape this place!"

N clings to Leo's arm in delight, shaking it up and down and Jaehwan watches in amusement - some things don't change, even across realities. "Isn't this exciting?" N asks in delight.

"I feel like I'll miss Mistress though," Ravi admits with a sheepish chuckle. "She really wasn't all that bad..."

"But now we have our freedom," sighs Hongbin, grinning a little. "No matter how nice Mistress was, nothing can top our freedom."

"So which way should we go now?" Leo asks softly, glancing past them before making a shocked noise. "Uh."

"What is it?" N tries to ask before there's a loud accusing shriek echoing through the trees.

"And who is this?!"

Oh. Jaehwan definitely knows that voice.

He follows Leo's line of sight to see himself standing at the edge of the clearing - his hair is dark brown, bangs styled flat and he's wearing a black button down and pants pattered in black and white plaid.

"Am I going crazy or is that Ken," Hongbin asks, laughing a little hysterically, his eyes wide and his mouth agape in bewilderment. "Why are there two Kens?"

Jaehwan lifts his hand nervously as Ken stalks up the group, slightly out of breath and seething in confusion. "I'm... Not Ken," he says finally.

"Wow, really," drawls Hyuk and he can't believe that the kid is just as infuriatingly sarcastic here as his version in Shangri-La. "Never would have guessed."

"My name is Jaehwan," he continues. "I'm trying to find my way..." He pauses and he realizes he has no idea what Seokjin's world is even called, let alone how the hell he's going to get there from here. He woke up in the wrong world, just another reality of his Shangri-La and it hits him that Hakyeon completely forgot to tell him how to even move from world to the next. Oh, hello, that's panic crawling back up his throat and he sways a little before hands grab at his shoulders to steady him – oh, Ravi.

"J-Jaehwan, right?" Ravi asks, holding him gently. Jaehwan has no idea what sort of expression he's making but even Hyuk's face is frowning lightly in concern. Ken finally joins them, head cocked in confusion and lips pursed into a pout. "Where are you from?"

"From another reality like this - mine is called Shangri-La. What's this world called?"

The six of them all share a look that brims with uncertainty and a little bit of worry. "We don't know," N says finally. "We've been chained up for as long as we can remember."

"Mistress finally let us go," Hyuk answers, a little meekly, combing his fingers through his blonde-silver hair. "I'm sorry we can't tell you more."

"How did you get here?" asks Ravi.

"I'm... Dream walking," Jaehwan answers. "Or something of the sort, since this is actually my physical being from Shangri-La and not just my mind. I'm just trying to get to a world that's not mine, a world where I don't exist but someone else does."

Ken rights his head again, eyes bright with understanding. "Wait, I think Mistress has told me about this!" he says excitedly. "I once told her about a dream where I was walking around in a dark but colorful place and how my hair was blonde! She says dream-walking is a myth but it's been said if you close your eyes and think of the place you want to go, you'll end up there." Ken's eyes dim a little. "Then she instructed me to never try any sort of dream-walking or she'll be sad because she might lose me to the dreams. I don't really understand what she meant by that but I guess I get it now." He offers Jaehwan a tiny smile, and he recognizes it as the small appeasing smile he gives to placate an antsy Sanghyuk or a worried Wonshik. "Maybe try laying down and thinking of that place you want to go?"

Jaehwan glances around. "Lay down here...?" he asks, gesturing to the leaf-strewn ground beneath them. The leaves are dry and look scratchy and nothing like the soft, fresh petals of Hongbin's land that he likes to sometimes nap in.

"I can lay you out my jacket," Leo offers, already tugging off his long coat and giving it a sharp shake. "Good luck, Jaehwan."

"Be careful, other me," Ken says, still giving that small and reassuring smile. "I'd hate to hear if something bad happened to you."

"The better-looking version of you," Hyuk teases and he gets a sharp yank on his collar by Ken for that.

"Take that back, you brat!"

Jaehwan laughs a little. "I'll be careful," he reassures, lowering himself onto Leo's still warm coat. The moment he closes his eyes, his stomach swoops and his head clouds and there's a pressure on his chest and he can't breathe fuck he can't breathe and he wrenches his eyes open in terror just as he gasps for air and.

The trees are gone, the dead leaves are gone, Leo's jacket is gone from beneath him, and the six freed friends are gone. Gone gone gone.

He's lying on cold concrete, the iciness seeping straight through his thin clothes and biting harshly at his skin. He scrambles up, breath puffing from his lips and fuck he's never felt this cold - Shangri-La is always perfect and temperate. He tries to tug his robe-like jacket around him more tightly but it doesn't do much to keep out the chill.

Unlike the chained up forest where he just came from, this place looks old and abandoned, though with stunning arches and elaborate walkways leading off to somewhere or perhaps nowhere. He turns in a circle to get his bearings before letting out a loud shriek that echoes around the empty chambers.

One - there's a huge drop immediately to his right.

Two - there's a frozen Taekwoon staring right at him.

"T-Taekwoon...?" Jaehwan asks uncertainly. Taekwoon doesn't even blink despite the fact he has walked right up to his face. Taekwoon's hair is now a deep red and he's dressed handsomely in black slacks and a maroon suit jacket decorated with a black ribbon tied into a pretty bow around the collar and small medals along the lapel. He's pose in mid-run, one hand pressed against the wall and Jaehwan touches said hand. It's warm. He's alive but he's not blinking, not breathing. It doesn't make sense.

Stumbling back, minding the maw behind him, Jaehwan spins around to take in his surroundings again and lets out another shout when he sees Hakyeon fucking dangling off the wall right over the maw, one foot balanced elegantly against the edge, one hand reaching out to the side and the other towards... a woman. Jaehwan blinks and neither of them are moving and he doesn't like the feel of this strange world frozen in time. He gives Taekwoon another glance to see if he's moved at all before hightailing it, running down the walkway until he finds some stairs and he starts climbing down then, turning the corner before letting out another shriek - this time, it's Hongbin suspended in the air, just like Hakyeon, one foot balanced against the wall and he's just. Leaning backward over the walkway as if he froze in mid-fall, eyes shut and expression serene. When Jaehwan touches his hand, it's warm like Taekwoon's and it's so unsettling; The fact that they're alive and warm despite not moving with the temperature being so, so cold that his teeth are chattering sends Jaehwan in a flurry, sprinting down flight after flight after flight of stairs until he reaches the bottom.

"What the fuck," he says loudly, staring at the frozen picture of a car crashing into the wall, glass suspended in the cold like strange ice cubes. When he walks closer, he sees Sanghyuk is at the wheel, arm thrown up to protect his face. Why the fuck did he even drive into the wall for?

"What the fuck indeed."

Jaehwan totally does not shriek.

"You're very loud," his double says placidly. His hair is a much brighter blonde than Jaehwan's own dusty brown-blonde.

"Can you blame me? You just snuck up on me!" Jaehwan accuses hotly. "What's your name, anyways?"

"Ken. But I think I'm also referred to as Kratos."

"What do you want me to call you?"

"Kratos is fine," Kratos-Ken answers. "My name means 'strength' or 'power.'" There's a somber, elegant sort of air to this version of himself and Jaehwan watches as he gives Sanghyuk a sad glance. He knocks his knuckles lightly against the roof of the vehicle before walking away, leaving Jaehwan to catch up to him. "Who are you?"

"Jaehwan. I'm from Shangri-La."

"I see. Welcome to The Closer."

"The... Closer?"

"The end of all," Kratos says, making his way back up the stairs that Jaehwan just sprinted down. He follows, albeit reluctantly, since he's still a little winded.

"The end of what?"

Kratos shrugs. "Of Conception."

"Are you going to give me any proper sort of answer?" Jaehwan demands, annoyed at his enigmatic double. The chained up Ken was much more talkative and playful like him, while Kratos-Ken seems much more passive and cold, not unlike the air around them.

"You're looking for the world of temptation, am I right?" Kratos asks instead, getting off at the floor where Jaehwan was sure he passed Hongbin earlier - he remembers the vine covered wall by the stairs - but the serenely dangling male is no longer there. Jaehwan wants to ask what happened to Hongbin but,

"You know about Seokjin's world?"

"Is that his name? The one with the pink hair?" Kratos smiles a little. "I've seen him now and then."

"Have you... Spoken to him?"

Kratos frowns a little. "Spoke? No, I haven't. It's impossible to speak to someone in a reality that you don't exist in."

Jaehwan is quiet, taking in Kratos' words. "Is... Is that so?"

"I take it you have?"

"Yeah. A bunch of times."

"Interesting. And you want to go there?"

"Yeah."

Kratos enters a room lit in red and Jaehwan sucks in a breath when he sees Wonshik motionless on an elegant couch - the room reminds him of Taekwoon's home, the floor covered in a fine layer of liquid except the water squelches beneath his steps. He has a small pang of homesickness until he remembers he's technically dreaming and that he might just wake up back in Hakyeon's bed.

Wonshik is in the middle of pouring a drink, except nothing is falling from the bottle's mouth. "What sort of world is this?" Jaehwan asks. "Why is everyone frozen?"

"They're not frozen," Kratos says. "They're just in stasis whenever I'm walking around. Once I leave their area, they'll start moving around. You can hear N walking." He tilts his head and Jaehwan copies the movement - in the distance, he can barely make out the sounds of heeled shoes on concrete and it feels a little otherworldly and almost... wrong; Footsteps that ring through the silence only to halt unnaturally simply because he walked into Kratos' range is beyond anything normal. "I've only managed to speak to everyone a handful of times but... They go into stasis before I can really have a full conversation. It's rather lonesome around here." He lets out a rueful sigh. "It's a bit ironic my name means 'power' and yet it's completely out of my hands to be able to even simply talk to my friends."

"What does your power signify then?" Jaehwan asks and Kratos' wry smile shifts into something more amused.

"Nothing much, honestly," he admits. "My namesake is a Greek deity, but a rather small one. Regardless, names carry power and I happen to have some leeway in realities in comparison to my other versions - including you." He laughs and his smile widens a little. "Though, you do already have an impressive set of power on your own considering you are from Paradise. Despite that, you need help to traverse these alternate worlds to one where you're not part of it."

"And you're willing to help?" Jaehwan's heart races as he realizes that success is actually within reach now.

"Of course." Kratos leads Jaehwan out of the red room and down another flight of stairs. "I have to get out of Ravi's range, so he can move off the sofa and you can lay down." They loop the arena once, Jaehwan taking note that Taekwoon, Hakyeon, Hongbin and Sanghyuk are no longer where he last saw them, before returning back to the room and now Wonshik - Ravi - is also gone.

"Do you know what you're doing?" Jaehwan asks, settling down on the couch and shifting for a comfortable position - it's a bit small and his ankles and feet dangle forlornly off the other end.

"I've walked my other realities," Kratos answers. "In the other worlds, my presence doesn't freeze them and I can talk to everyone as I please. It keeps the loneliness at bay."

Jaehwan frowns a little. "How come I've never seen you come by Shangri-La?"

"It's incredibly difficult to get into Paradise. Why is it that your mysterious friend rarely shows up in your world but you often show up in his?"

"How do you even know of him?"

Kratos gives him a small, enigmatic smile. "This world, The Closer, is positioned rather... close to the realm of the pink haired boy. I'm not entirely sure of the structure of the universe, but I imagine each universe is like an individual bubble and they all are floating different distances from one another. I can easily travel to the worlds of Fantasy and Dynamite but Hyde is a bit of a struggle." Jaehwan nods, even though he has no idea what these worlds are even like. Kratos must see the polite confusion on his face and laughs loudly - it's so familiar, it's so Jaehwan, and all at once he doesn't seem so cold and distant as in their initial meeting.

"Alright, comfortable?" Kratos asks.

"As comfortable as I can be," Jaehwan says, resting his neck against the arm of the couch.

"Well, you won't be here for much longer," assures Kratos. "Once you close your eyes, you'll disappear from my world and hopefully you'll show up in his."

"I hope so too," he whispers and the last thing he sees is Kratos' - no, his - reassuring grin before he shuts his eyes. He feels Kratos' fingers touch his forehead and it sends a small jolt of electricity through his entire form before ending in such a strong zap that it forces his eyes open from the pain and.

"Oh," Jaehwan whispers, staring at the statue of a featureless angel with a wingspan that arcs upwards and curves around the body. "Oh."

He barely takes two steps towards the statue, the statue he's only seen in uncharted dreams brought at random, the statue that Seokjin always looks at with such melancholy eyes when he hears a shout.

"Hey!"

Jaehwan spins around and meets the sharp glare of a shorter male with black, tousled hair, dressed in slacks and a teal shirt with gold designs running in horizontal lines, the whole ensemble tucked into an odd black wrap that's circled around his waist. He looks like he's about to say something when he suddenly squints at Jaehwan, his critical expression clears in realization. "You're Jaehwan."

"Y-Yeah," he answers. "You know who I am? Can you take me to Seokjin?"

"Yes I do and yes I can," says the young man. "He's outside in the garden - come with me." He turns on his heel and strides out the room, not checking whether or not Jaehwan is following.

Of course Jaehwan is following because he's here! He's finally in Seokjin's world! He hurries up to the shorter male and asks, "So, who are you?"

"My name is Yoongi and I'm a friend of Seokjin," he replies. "I've been helping him research alternate realities and dream walking."

"You have? He's... Been researching about this?" Jaehwan doesn't try to hide his delighted smile, thrilled that Seokjin is trying just as hard as he is so that they can be together.

"Yep. It's been weeks and we've gone through almost all the books in the library but to little avail. We’ve gone through so many texts but they never give more than a page of information that we didn’t already know." Yoongi rolls his eyes.

"Weeks?" Yoongi doesn't notice Jaehwan's confusion as he pushes open a small white gate that leads them to a small grassy walkway. It's only been a couple days in Shangri-La between his last fleeting dream with Seokjin and his confrontation with and eventual theft from Hakyeon. Before he can truly speculate on the drastic time differences, they round the corner and someone with familiar broad shoulders and pink hair is facing away from them. He's standing by a long dining table, turned towards a forest of golden trees. There’s a thoughtful aura in the air and Jaehwan knows that Seokjin is thinking about him, about finding him.

"Seokjin," Jaehwan whispers. He starts to run, the short distance between him and his love shrinking with each desperate step. He’s actually moving, not like that one dream where he was running but not moving an inch. "Seokjin. Seokjin!"

"Jaehwan?" Seokjin says, still not turning around. He sounds so confused. "No, I'm awake... I can't be dreaming... How do I hear him?"

"It's me, Jaehwan!" he cries, his hand outstretched to grab at Seokjin's shoulder, to feel the soft fabric of his white shirt beneath his fingers, to feel his warmth right there, and when he finally touches Seokjin, fingers curling in memory against a shoulder he's gripped so many times, there's a snap.

A snap.

A snap.

A snap.

And the world vanishes in a flash of white.

---

Somewhere, a bubble pops.

---

"Jaehwan? Jaehwan?! Lee Jaehwan, if you do not wake up right now, I will leave your ass! Don't think I won't!"

"Bluh?" He opens his eyes to see Hakyeon glaring at him, eyes wide with impatience and hands clapping sharply together.

"Of all the days for you to sleep in," Hakyeon bemoans, dramatically spinning away, his shaggy black hair flopping around his head in a charming sort of disarray. Oh. That's right. It's their debut day. He grapples for his phone to see the date, squinting at the bright screen - May 24, 2012. They'll be performing for the music show soon and shit, he is still in bed and no wonder Hakyeon is about to ditch his ass. He scrambles off his mattress, splutters his apologies, feels his hair sticking up in every direction, and slips across the floor towards the bathroom. He nearly crashes into Hongbin pacing up and down the hallway and he does a double-take at his long hair, held up a little haphazardly with multiple bobby pins.

Jaehwan doesn't quite get why he thinks, "Wait, that's doesn't seem right..." before he ducks into the bathroom to wash up. It's when he splashes the cold water on his face and pumps soap into his hand from the dispenser when he remembers his dreams.

"...Who the hell is Seokjin," he mutters, lathering the soap in his hands and scrubbing hard at his face. "Fuck, I really should stop eating Taekwoon-hyung's sweets before I sleep, these dreams are getting out of hand..." Despite the fact that he knows he got enough sleep - thanks to Hakyeon practically wrestling everyone to bed at 10 pm so they're all rested by morning - he still feels exhaustion clinging to his bones. It’s not the type of tiredness from their endless dance practices; instead, it's the sort of exhaustion from overly active dreams and he catches bits and pieces of said dreams - a world of vibrant colors and flowers and celestial bodies, a strange forest, a cold place with a warm smile, and a very strange statue and a stranger young man. He struggles to remember what the young man - Seokjin, his brain supplies, as if the name isn't common enough - even looks like. He remembers full lips pulled into a bright, loving smile before that image is shattered by Wonshik yelling about his shoes.

"Check under the sink!" Jaehwan screams through the door, and the last blip of the dream disappears without a second thought, gone from memory only in a way dreams can since they were nothing physical to begin with. They are nothing but a figment of overactive imaginations. "Pretty sure Hongbin hid them there."

"Lee Hongbin!" Wonshik yells and Jaehwan scrambles out the bathroom as Hakyeon shrieks, "Jaehwan, are you done yet?!"

"Almost, almost!"

Chaos in the VIXX dorm, nothing new there.

Serenity in Shangri-La, a world that no longer exists.

---

"Two, three! Hello, we are Bangtan Sonyeondan!"

"Who are they?" Jaehwan asks, walking past the television to his room before pausing to check out the rather flashy looking kids on air. Sanghyuk and Wonshik are parked on the couch, munching on some animal crackers and making playful comments about the new rookie groups popping up on screen.

"Bangtan Sonyeondan, new hip-hop group," Wonshik says, gesturing towards the screen with a cracker. "Look at them and their chains and baggy clothes. Adorable. Their youngest is a 97 line kid."

"A baby," coos Sanghyuk, a certified baby.

"Do they look like they have any potential?" Jaehwan takes in Bangtan Sonyeondan and his eyes widen a little at the one talking - on screen, they caption is name as Jin and that he's a 92 liner. Something feels familiar, like déjà vu but not quite. He doesn’t understand the sensation, considering he’s never seen this Jin fellow until now.

"A 92 line," teases Wonshik, tossing a cracker towards Jaehwan and letting it hit his chest. It falls to the floor with a pathetic sound but no one moves to pick it up. "Maybe you two can be friends or something."

Jaehwan wonders about the odd feeling running through him but he shakes it off with an amused huff. "Maybe," he allows before continuing his journey to his room.

---

"Two! Three! Hello, we are Bangtan Sonyeondan!"

Jaehwan can practically see the fond adoration shine from Hakyeon's eyes as he takes in Bangtan Sonyeondan standing before them. Hakyeon really has a soft spot for new groups, as if they aren't still practically rookies with only a year in the spotlight. Bangtan are smiling a little nervously, and he catches the short one with the round cheeks whispering to the tall one with the ears - he makes out "Concept-dols" and that's it. They're standing in front of the blinged out kids in their Hyde get up, complete with Hakyeon's eyesore bright red hair, Wonshik's obnoxious white hair and Taekwoon's long messy black hair. He doesn't particularly think they look intimidating but then again, they're also towering over half their members.

"Hello," Hakyeon greets happily, bowing to their leader, a 94 liner whose stage name is Rap Monster. Jaehwan tunes out the conversation and his gaze floats over to the silently smiling oldest hyung - Jin.

Seokjin, he's learned.

Something feels odd yet familiar.

Bangtan Sonyeondan are rapping, all loaded lyrics and slightly awkward hand gestures, and Hakyeon is beyond charmed at this point. Jaehwan snickers loudly, catching Jin’s attention. Jin blinks at him, a bewildered expression flashing across his pretty face, and somehow Jaehwan thinks he might be making something similar. After a beat, Jin offers him a shy smile that Jaehwan returns before Bangtan announces that they have to leave and they do that cute rookie thing of bowing and scuttling backwards out the room from their seniors.

“They’re so cute,” sighs Hakyeon, hands coming up to clasp together.  He prods at Hongbin’s shoulder with his own. “Don’t you think so?”

Jaehwan thinks of Seokjin, of his nervous little smile and wide eyes and soft features. “Yeah,” he agrees quietly, his answer drowned out by Hongbin’s annoyed scoff at Hakyeon’s pushiness. “Super cute.”

---

It’s a series of events (mostly them bumping into one another again and again backstage) that leads to Jaehwan and Seokjin to exchange KakaoTalk IDs. The initial start of short, awkward messages doesn’t last long and Jaehwan is delighted to meet someone so vibrant and filled with terrible dad jokes as him – Junghwan always blocks him for half an hour whenever Jaehwan sends him a dad joke, that unfunny punk. He doesn’t think too hard about the ease of which he and Seokjin fell into chatting with one another; Two 92 liners that are the only one of their respective groups. As their conversations blossom, Jaehwan gets flashes of memories that never happened – Seokjin with pink hair, a world filled with flowers, a peacock – before chalking them all up to old dreams long forgotten.

Hakyeon always did tell him he has an active imagination.

The longer they talk, the closer they become, and the faster Jaehwan falls for Seokjin. It feels so natural, so expected, almost as if the universe had already laid it all out eons ago and he’s just sprinting down this blossom-strewn path for his boy.

He wants to confess to Seokjin, to finally let the feelings that have been bubbling in his chest tumble from his lips, but their schedules never quite align up with how VIXX is spitting out comeback after comeback and Bangtan is struggling to get their foot in the door that is the kpop industry.

Of course, when they do meet again, it’s backstage of a music show. He’s not even sure which show it is right now, whirling through stages after stages until he’s breathless and exhausted. When he spots Seokjin smiling, small and nervous, he’s reminded of the first time they met – also backstage to a music show.

Not exactly the most ideal or romantic place to confess to someone, but Jaehwan is a man of opportunity – when he sees it, he’ll seize it and run. He detaches himself away from VIXX as Seokjin excuses himself from Bangtan and they meet somewhere in the middle that’s not really a middle (it’s really just a secluded corner blocked by a wardrobe rack with the gaudiest outfits Jaehwan has ever witness and they had whatever the hell Super Hero’s stage clothes were).

“Hey,” he greets.

“Hey yourself,” teases Seokjin, voice soft and playful and rich, so very different from the usual tinny quality he hears over phone and Skype calls. There’s a small stretch of silence, where neither of them knows what to say, before Jaehwan finally cuts the silence with a question that’s been on his mind, heavy on his tongue, for the longest time.

He grins shyly at Seokjin. "Does it feel like it's been destined we'll meet?" Jaehwan asks. It's a bit silly, abruptly asking such a heavy question while they're backstage to the music show, while they're admist other groups and makeup noonas and coordi-noonas, while everyone is whispering among one another and Jaehwan is here, whispering to Seokjin about fate.

Jaehwan’s a man of opportunity, and he sure as hell isn’t going to let this moment slip from his hands as they return back to their lives of texts and calls and schedules that feels like they’ll never align.

But Seokjin smiles, filled with relief and understanding and delight and Jaehwan doesn't feel like a knob for asking such a loaded question. "Yeah," Seokjin breathes immediately, as if he’s been waiting for Jaehwan to ask this question, his soft answer almost lost in the hubbub but Jaehwan can hear him just fine. "I absolutely think it's fate."

Jaehwan beams and lets his fingers find Seokjin's, warm and tight and comforting and so, so familiar.

"Me too, Seokjinnie," he says, squeezing Seokjin's hand. They’re hiding behind a wardrobe rack, lost in their own little romantic universe, uncaring, unaware of the bustling world around them. It’s just Jaehwan and Seokjin. "Me too."