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Kat's phone lit up again and, as always, she felt the familiar bubbling excitement and happiness at the thought that maybe, finally, it was Adena. The excitement only lasted a moment though, and then was replaced by the inevitable disappointment she had been feeling for the past couple of weeks at the realization that it wasn't her. Because Adena was in Paris, happily drinking coffee with Coco and Kat was just here, in New York, surrounded by her coworkers and the shouting managers of different departments.
With a bitter feeling, she shut her phone off again and read through some celebrity gossip trying to see what could be important enough to tweet about. But no matter what she saw online, all she was thinking of was Adena. She was always there, in the back of her head and Kat needed it to stop. She was driving herself mad with the constant feeling that she had messed up something that could've been beautiful and amazing and perfect. She could be going on dates right now, instead she's sitting at her office while the woman she wants is in freaking Paris with her girlfriend. Her girlfriend. She had to get out of her head. With a quick decision, she decided to text the girls.
@Kat: closet.
@Jane: everything ok?
@Sutton: we're coming
She typed up a quick tweet about intersectional feminism which she already knew would go viral and then headed off to see Jane and Sutton before she either started crying or did something she would later on regret.
The doors of the closet opened quietly and Kat looked up to see Jane and Sutton with worried looks on their faces. She immediately felt relieved and got up to hug them both.
"What's going on, Kat?" Jane asked gently, quickly retying her ponytail.
They both looked at her expectantly and suddenly Kat felt ashamed. Ashamed that what was "going on" was her complete inability to move on.
"I can't do this. Adena texts me photos of her in Paris and I just....I can't be friends with her. I mean... I can't be just friends with her."
"Oh, kiddo..." Sutton frowned and moved to hug her again but Kat stepped back.
"No hugging" she laughed a little and added "if you hug me it'll just make me cry at this point. I'm having such a shitty day."
Frustrated, she moved a hand through her hair before sitting back down with a sigh.
"I don't know what to do."
"We should have a girls night, it'll make us all feel better I think." Jane suggested, gently rubbing Kat's shoulder.
"Jane is right, I could use a little alcohol and popcorn with you guys to get over my break up as well to be perfectly honest. Show us all that we don't need no man- or woman, obviously. All we need is each other, yeah?" Sutton smiled as she said it and it made Kat's lips turn up a little.
"Alright, come by my place at 8." Kat told them before her phone beeped, letting her know Jacqueline wanted to see her, and she excused herself from her two best friends. Her safety net.
That evening, Kat, Jane and Sutton were sitting on the couch each taking turns ranting about either the success or failure (for the most part) of their love lives. Empty glasses sat in front of them as Jane leaned over to refill them and ice cream containers surrounded by bags of popcorn crowded the table in front of them. They were all a little tipsy, but Kat specifically was drunk. When Jane finished talking about her breaking things off with pinstripe, Sutton told her she did the right thing.
"You deserve someone who loves you more than just a quick hook up every week."
"I know, but at the same time...those hook ups were...wow"
"When did Jane start getting more action than the both of us combined?" Kat asked Sutton in mock seriousness.
"I know right, are we living in a parallel universe or what-"
"Hey!" Jane cut them off, laughing.
"I want some action too, Jane, I want some woman/woman action." A drunk Kat declared, reaching over to grab her phone.
"I hope you're not telling me that in hopes that I'll volunteer as tribute." Jane replied, teasing even though she knew who Kat was thinking of.
"Same, I love ya Kat but not that much" Sutton added, lifting her hands in surrender.
"What are you doing?"
"Texting Adena. Maybe she will answer booty calls."
"Nononono put the phone down, Kat!"
Both friends immediately jumped her, Sutton laying over Kat's arms so she couldn't move while Jane pulled it out of her grip. The two of them laughed as Kat did her best to fight back. She almost succeeded too, managing to practically shove Sutton off of her before Jane realized what was happening and ran to the small bathroom, trying to lock herself in so Kat couldn't get to it. Kat, finally free, got up and ran after her as Sutton did the same, trying to capture a frantic Kat. The lock was being stubborn and Jane quickly kept trying. Sutton realized that Jane was struggling with the lock and did the one thing that would stop Kat: she tackled her to the ground. The both of them landed harmlessly on the squishy hallway carpet and Sutton laughed triumphantly as the lock clicked in place. Kat groaned and mumbled something under her breath. Sutton just kissed her cheek quickly in reply.
"We are doing this because we love you.
"You're tackling me because you love me?"
"Precisely."
In the bathroom, Kat's phone vibrated and Jane looked down, expecting to see a twitter notification. Instead, what she saw made her gasp and both women outside heard. "What? Who is it?" Kat demanded and Jane quickly lied "It's just twitter." She immediately cringed, wondering why she lied. But then an idea hit her.
"Sutton, get in here." The red head quickly entered the bathroom once Jane unlocked it , leaving Kat in the hallway eating ice cream again.
"It's Adena." Jane whispered and Sutton just shrugged. "Yeah, they're supposed to be friends."
"No. I mean, she texted this..."
@Adena: hey Kat, I hope I'm not bothering you right now. I just left Paris and I'm coming back to New York. I broke up with Coco, I just don't love her anymore. You're the one I care about, the one I want. And I'm sorry this has been so complicated but I hope you want me back. I'll be at the airport on Sunday, which is your birthday, I know, but I wanted to let you know. Can I come see you?"
"Oh my god." Sutton whispered and Jane nodded. Before saying anything, Jane opened the door to see Kat passed out on the floor. Knowing it's safe to talk, she went ahead.
"I was thinking we should pick her up and bring her to Kat's for Her birthday party. She could explain everything and I mean, honestly, she's what will make Kat happy right now."
"Call her" Sutton immediately approved, a happy and excited feeling washing over her. She was a little nervous Kat would be mad. I mean things wouldn't just be simple and good between them again, they needed to talk it out and figure out what they are and want to be for real this time. But maybe that would be the best birthday present, having the woman she loves beside her again. Jane pressed the call button and Adena immediately picked up.
"Kat! I-" her voice was already nervous and stuttering, she needed Kat to understand, to want her too.
"It's Jane and Sutton."
"Where's Kat?"
"She hasn't seen your message, it's a long story but we have a plan."
For the rest of the week, Kat was balancing between being okay and being devastated. She hadn't received any messages from Adena and she couldn't help but believe that the beautiful girl had forgotten about her, even as friends. Maybe Coco really was enough for her and she didn't need Kat anymore. Maybe she never did.
The memories of their "date" flashed through Kat's mind and she sighed. No one had ever taken Kat's phone away from her and not received any anger from her side before. Usually someone taking her phone is annoying, but with Adena it just felt right to be there and be present, to be grounded. It was weird how without her, she felt the opposite of grounded. No one had ever made her feel like that before and it scared her, hurt her, and exhilarated her all at once. She really just wanted to relax at this point, lay down at home on her couch with sad movies and tweet about feminism some more but she had a party that night and while she didn't feel like it, she knew Jane and Sutton had been planning it forever so she wasn't going to cancel. It was supposed to be a surprise, but really, her two best friends are not at all subtle so she knew it was that night. She smiled at Jacklyn on her way out and headed home for the party.
At the airport, Jane and Sutton were nervously waiting for Adena. They had never been alone with her before, and they were wondering if, as Kat's best friends, they should be mad at her for going to Paris and not choosing Kat or if they should just be happy she was back for her. They decided on the latter as they spotted Adena grabbing her bag. The girl was wearing a black dress for the party, a dark red hijab and had some makeup on, knowing that they were going straight there. She was clearly nervous, as Jane and Sutton could see but on the inside, Adena was full on freaking out. Her usual confidence was wavering and replaced by fear of Kat not wanting her back, or not wanting a relationship at all. Sutton watched these emotions flicker in Adena's eyes as she walked up to them and shook her head with a smile.
"Kat was right: this lesbian shit is intense" She declared and laughed as she hugged Adena first. "How was the flight?" Jane asked and they started walking over to the taxi.
Jane, Sutton and Adena arrived to Kat's first. They opened the door with Kat's spare key hidden in the flower pot beside her door and let themselves in. People started coming in, almost everyone noticing Adena first and smiling widely when they did. Everyone knew Kat as a positive, bubbly, acts-on-emotions type of gal and seeing her a little down lately made everyone in the office a little sadder. They set up the cake and the chips and when Kat texted Jane and Sutton:
@Kat: almost home, finally
Everyone got ready, standing around the door. Adena was in the middle of the entrance surrounded by Jane, Sutton, Jacqueline and Alex and she was getting seriously nervous but also excited. The doorknob slowly turned and Kat walked in, wearing the blue dress she had worn to work and looking as gorgeous as usual. Everyone in the crowd yelled happy birthday and Kat acted surprised, but she didn't have to act surprised when she noticed Adena. Her smile got momentarily wider and then fell off her face completely. Everyone stopped talking. And then it was just them, looking at each other in the eyes. The shift of emotions between them was easy to see, and the rest of the party backed up into the other room, giving them a moment. Adena smiled first and Kat's followed, though it was more hesitant. She was worried. Worried this wouldn't last, worried that Adena was here as a friend and not more and most of all worried that she would never be able to stop herself from falling in love with her. Although, maybe she didn't want to stop herself this time. Adena walked up to her.
"Hey, you misunderstood, beautiful girl."
"Why are you here?"
"Im here because you touched me here too" she put a hand over Kat's heart. "More than anyone else ever will. I'm here because I can't just be friends with you. I love you. And I'm sorry I walked away."
Kat felt like she stopped breathing and finally got air all at once. "I love you too" and it didn't take long for Adena to crush her lips against Kat's in a soft but desperate kiss, that only lasted a moment but felt like forever until they had to pull away.
"Happy birthday, I think we should maybe start to socialize a little now" Adena said, laughing softly at the blissful expression on her girlfriends face. "We can socialize later." Kat replied with finality before pressing her lips to Adena's again.