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"I hate it here," Bucky muttered, and Tony couldn't really blame him.
"You've already said that... many times," Tony replied as he continued down the path. All they needed to do was find Steve and Clint, and figure out a way out of this stupid fairytale. "It'll be over soon, Buck. All fairytales end the same way, right? True love's kiss? So you and Clint shouldn't have any trouble."
It wasn't like they hadn't been dating for a while now. The two were inseparable. Steve had told Tony that he was happy about it, since Bucky had come a long way since they'd brought him home from being Hydra's brainwashed assassin. Steve got his best friend back, the team was all happy, and everything had been going pretty smoothly up until a few days previous. That's when Loki apparently decided to mix things up a bit, and they found themselves in a fairytale world.
Bruce and Natasha had been with them too, for a while. But then, of course, they found exactly how they were supposed to get home. True love's kiss.
It wasn't like it was going to be easy, though. Tony had run into Bruce almost right away. Recognizing your friends was the first issue with this fairytale world, though. No one seemed to be human anymore. Not completely.
Tony was the lucky one, he presumed, thus far. While he seemed to be some sort of sorcerer, he still looked almost completely human. Where his arc reactor used to be, there was a large blue, circular crystal. Smaller crystals were wedged in the palms of both his hands, along with various other places on his body. An energy surged through him that Tony, as much as he hated to admit it, could only call 'magic'.
Bruce, on the other hand, had gotten the short straw, because he had been an ogre. That's why Tony had been prepared to attack him, because he'd already been attacked by ogres at that point in time. He'd been in the fairytale world several days now, and it was really starting to bother him. Luckily, Bruce still had his own mind, and he wasn't just stuck as the Hulk.
Natasha, though... she'd been pissed off. Tony was barely able to keep himself from laughing when he saw her, stuck as a mermaid. Bucky, though, hadn't been able to contain his laughter, and he'd gotten very soaked because of it. Natasha had definitely been quite unhappy about the transformation and was very relieved to see Bruce. That's when the group had figured out that true love's kiss saved the day, because when Bruce and Natasha kissed, not only were they turned back to normal, but they also disappeared back to their own world.
Ah, Bucky. Tony couldn't decide who got it worse—Bucky or Bruce. They were on opposite sides of the spectrum, and Tony was just glad that he wasn't stuck as an ogre, or as... a faerie. Obviously, he was very angry about it, which Tony could understand he knew that Bucky just wanted to find Clint as soon as possible so that they could get out of the fairytale nightmare.
"Once we find Clint, go home, okay?" Tony murmured, stopping on the edge of the forest. As dangerous as the forest could be sometimes, out in the open could be even more dangerous, as the group had already found out.
"I'm not leaving you here, Tony. We already discussed this. I'm not leaving until we find Clint and Steve," Bucky said, crossing his arms. It had taken forever for his wings to dry when Natasha splashed him, so until his wings had dried, he'd been sitting on Tony's shoulder. He was only about three inches tall at the moment, so it wasn't an issue at all. It was actually kind of hilarious, not that he could tell Bucky that. "You and Steve will never get home if I'm not here to make sure that you kiss my best friend, Tony. If I'm not positive that you're going to kiss Steve, then I'm not leaving. Got it?"
"Whatever you say," Tony said, but that was going to cause a problem. He wasn't exactly sure he'd be able to kiss Steve. Tony wasn't stupid, he definitely wanted to, but Steve needed to kiss his true love, so...
"Tony! Tony, I see someone," Bucky said, tugging at Tony's hair. Tony could see people too, off in the distance. There were people riding horses, and either some really big birds, or some half-people half-birds. "What if Clint and Steve are over there?"
"There's a chance," Tony agreed. On the other side of the huge field... Tony looked up at the sky. Gryphons and dragons were both deadly things that had already tried attacking them, and they'd barely made it out of there with Bruce helping them. Now that he wasn't there to knock dragons out of the sky. "What do you say, pipsqueak? Should we see if they're over there?"
A couple of the people on horses seeing to be trying to rope down the bird-people, and... other people on horses? Someone was in danger.
"If you call me pipsqueak one more time," Bucky growled, but Tony knew that he wasn't really going to do anything about it. Tony raced over in the direction of the guys on horseback, making sure to stay out of sight.
"I can go see what's happening," Bucky murmured, but Tony just shook his head.
"Too dangerous," he murmured, looking up at the sky again before hiding behind some rocks and bushes. No dragons, no supernatural creatures. This was not where he wanted to vacation at, ever. Right now, even going to Ohio, in the winter, sounded nice. As long as he didn't have to watch the sky for dragons that would take him back to its castle, like that one had been talking about when it grabbed Tony the first time.
The rocks and bushes were big enough to hide Tony, but Bucky chose to weave between the branches of the bushes to get a better look at what was going on. Tony couldn't help but stare, too.
Most of the people were on horseback, but a couple of them... well, weren't quite riding horses. There were four half-men, half-birds stuck in the ropes that the guys on horseback holding, like they were trying to catch them... or maybe they were trying to catch the centaurs that were also tangled in the ropes. There had to be at least fifteen men on horseback trying to catch the fairytale creatures.
"Clint," Bucky gasped, and before Tony was able to stop him, the tiny faerie shot out of the bushes and into the fray.
"Bucky, wait," Tony shouted. After running out of the bushes, Tony found himself surrounded by a couple men on horseback. One of them hooked his right arm, then another got his left with their ropes, holding him in place.
"It's time to let them go," Tony said, voice low as he glared at the men on horseback.
The leader of them walked up to Tony, jumping off his horse. "You gonna make us?"
Everyone went quiet when suddenly Tony was glowing bright blue and floating a couple inches off the ground. The bird creatures had all been tied down and the centaur all quieted down when they saw Tony. The ropes around his wrists burned off.
"I said, let them go," Tony growled, shooting a few warning blasts of energy at the men, who seemed to realize that, being a sorcerer, Tony would be able to take them all down pretty quickly. One of them tried charging at Tony, but he blasted the man right off his horse. The rest of them seemed to get the picture and ran off pretty quickly.
Tony dropped down onto his knees when they were gone, taking a couple deep breaths. Whenever he used magic, it completely wore him out. He barely had enough energy to still be sitting up. The sound of Clint's laughter was what made Tony turn around. Three of the bird creatures had managed to get loose and were already flying off into the sky, but one of them was sitting on the ground, head thrown back in laughter.
"You're so tiny," he laughed, and that's when Tony realized that the bird creature was Clint. The feathers started about at his hips, completely coating his legs, There were a couple of long feathers that looked to be almost like a tail. Clint's arms were covered in feathers too, and looked kind of like wings. Tony shook his head, trying to clear his vision.
"...Tony?" The second voice was familiar too, and Tony couldn't help but grin.
"Steve," he said, looking over to the right, expecting to see Steve. Because he was still on the ground, Tony came face to face with hooves and horse legs. Tony looked up, eyes wide, to see that Steve, like everyone else, was definitely not human.
"Uh, Tony? I know this is weird, but this whole place is strange. I can assure you, I'm still me, though. Like Clint, he's still him even though he... looks like a bird," Steve murmured. His arms were still roped behind his back, so Tony got up to undo those. God was Steve gorgeous. Being a centaur, he didn't exactly have a shirt on at the moment, and Tony was definitely not complaining. He leaned up, trying to get the ropes.
"I believe you, Steve. We're all different here. You should've seen Bruce and Natasha!" Tony chuckled, untying the ropes. "There you go, you're all free. Why didn't you just try running off? I'm sure you could've outrun those guys."
"They were trying to catch Clint and the other harpies," Steve replied, motioning over to their feathered friend, who was back on his feet again. Or, well... talons? Those looked deadly. "Where's Bucky? I thought I heard you say..."
And then Bucky was hovering in front of them, tiny arms crossed. "We're leaving. Now, Tony."
Steve covered his mouth to try and contain his laughter, unlike Clint.
"Yeah, go on, laugh it up horse boy," Bucky muttered. "At least Clint and I have a way of getting out of here."
"What do you mean by that?" Steve asked, looking around. "Tony, I thought you said Bruce and Natasha were here, too."
"They were," Bucky replied. "They're already home, where I want to be."
As strange as everything in this world was, Tony couldn't help but constantly glance back over at Steve. He wanted to go home, he really did, but somehow Tony doubted that would happen. Men like him didn't have true loves, especially not with people as great as Steve.
"Out of everything that you could've been turned into," Clint chuckled, hooking an arm, or rather wing, around Tony's shoulders, "you were turned into a faerie." Clint laughed, reaching a feather-covered wing-hand up to Bucky, letting the tiny faerie rest on his feathers. "That's hilarious, Buck, you can't deny that."
"I've been laughed at for two days now," Bucky muttered. "I know, I'm a tiny little faerie. I get it."
"How come you get to look normal, Tony?" Clint asked.
"Luck of the draw, I guess," Tony mumbled.
"Wait, how do we get home?" Steve asked. "Do you know? Is there a way?"
"Yeah," Bucky said, looking real smug as he flew over and landed on Clint's shoulder. "True love's kiss, that's how every fairytale ends. Bruce and Natasha went home yesterday."
Clint grinned at the little faerie. "Then we'll be fine, right?"
"Of course we will be," Bucky replied. "The issue is these two. You'd think that once they found out what they had to do, they'd listen. It's simple enough."
"Hmm, yeah, that could be a problem," Clint agreed. "Okay, tiny, you're coming with me."
"I swear, if you keep making fun of my size," Bucky muttered, glaring at Clint.
"You know I love you," Clint laughed. "And anyway, you can’t deny that you're adorable."
Bucky just rolled his eyes. "I'm not adorable, I'm a deadly assassin."
"Keep telling yourself that," Clint murmured, and Tony just rolled his eyes at the two.
"Okay, enough with the lovebird talk. How are the rest of us supposed to get home?" Tony asked.
"Well," Bucky said, fluttering over to Steve's shoulder. "There's really only one way out. Time for you to man up, Stark. Or you know what—you too, Rogers. Man up, and kiss him."
"What?" Steve gasped, eyes wide. Tony knew that saying anything was a terrible idea, and now Tony knew for sure that he'd never be able to face Steve again. "Wait, but Tony's straight."
"Actually, I'm bi, so..." Tony mumbled, shrugging. He could feel Steve's gaze on him. God damn it, why did Bucky have to say that? Tony flinched a little when Steve put a hand on his shoulder.
"Would you, um... if I wanted to... Can I kiss you?" Steve asked nervously. His cheeks were flushed, and man, it just made him look even more adorable.
But there was no way that Steve actually just asked him that. He knew that his jaw was hanging open, but he couldn't help it! He'd only had a crush on Steve since... forever.
"Is that a no?" Steve asked, his face falling.
He didn't even answer. Putting his hands on Steve's... hips, perhaps, Tony stood on his toes as Steve leaned down to kiss him. True love's kiss. Who would've guessed? Certainly not Tony, who was still kissing Steve when he realized that they were back in the tower.
"I told you they'd figure it out," Natasha said, and Tony was glad that she and Bruce both looked so happy. He was glad for them.
"Where are Clint and Bucky?" Bruce asked as Steve pulled Tony to his feet.
He was glad that the blond kept an arm wrapped around his waist, and he was smiling so beautifully...
"They... should've been behind us," Steve said, looking around.
"Unless Clint wanted to tease Bucky some more," Tony chuckled, grinning when Steve leaned down to kiss him again.
It was only a couple more moments before Bucky and Clint appeared, though instead of kissing sweetly, Bucky had Clint in a headlock while Clint looked like he couldn't stop laughing.
"You little punk," Bucky growled, but he was still smirking.
"I wasn't the little one," Clint cackled, easily managing to get out of Bucky's grip before he hid behind Steve. "Save me!"