Work Text:
Title: Letting You In
Character: Lucifer x Reader ?, Gabriel x friend!Reader
Genre: no idea. Bit of fluff and h/c? Maybe?
Word Count: ~1.4k
Warnings: feelings?, sharing one mind with the devil,
Summary: You said yes to Lucifer because they needed Cas if they wanted to safe the world. But sharing a mind and body with the devil wasn’t easy, especially when your own mind made you stay in the one memory that changed everything between you and your best friends brother, the Elysian Fields hotel.
A/n: For @srj1990 300 Follower Celebration. My prompt is “Why won’t you ever let me in?” I’ve wanted to write this for a while now and the prompt worked perfectly with the idea. Hope you like it and congrats again on the followers milestone.
....
There was a knock on your door. Consistent knocking actually. Your eyes looked up from the book you had been reading throwing hated glances at the door.
It wasn’t hard to guess who was outside “your” room; though you’ve chosen to ignore him. The fallen archangel might be insistent, but you were stubborn. He might have control over your body because saying yes at the time seemed like the right thing to do, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t be very passive aggressive and unhappy about it without kicking his angelic ass out.
Without wasting another thought on him you returned to your book. It was one of your favourites and you hadn’t had a chance to read it in years. Being a hunter was a full-time job that often lead to you forgetting things like food and sleep. In your life style books that weren’t for research seemed rather trivial.
Another knock startled you out of the new chapter you had started. The suspense was rising as your book came closer to the end. You were reluctant to put it down. But you needed to listen closely to the knock. Two loud short ones, break, three more tender ones, break, another two loud ones. Immediately you closed the book and a smile formed on your lips. That was the kind of knock you had been waiting for. The only good thing you had trapped inside your own head while Lucifer used your body as vessel.
As you opened the door you were met with the same kind of smile you wore. Gabriel was casually leaning against the frame of your hotel room door.
“Heya, sugar” he pushed himself away from the door frame to pull you into a tight hug. He always smelled like candy, sweetness and warmth. Seeing him again even though he was just a memory made all of this bearable, without your best friend at your side once again you would have kicked Lucifer out a long time ago. Screw saving the world if it meant having to share this tiny living space with the devil.
After saying yes you woke up in a hotel lobby greeted by a distant, yet familiar face. Only a glance at his name tag told you why you remembered him. Mercury, the fast as god Gabriel introduced you to ages ago. He handed you a room key and some chocolates before excusing himself.
Confused you wandered the hotel halls. You remembered them from years ago as if it only been a day. The Elysian Fields hotel would always be burned into your memory. It was the place you started to hate Lucifer like most humans already had. Gabriel had told you stories about his brothers and how he left his family. Lucifer never sounded like the bad guy history made him out to be. Right till he took the one person you trusted and loved most from you, right until the devil killer his own brother, your best friend.
“Dwelling on memories inside your memory again?” Gabriel whispered into your hair, still holding you “I’m so sorry this happened to you. This is the worst place you could be.”
“It’s not so bad” you whispered back “you’re here”
“I’m not real, sugar”
You knew, but that didn’t mean you whished this was true. That you had come back in time and tried just a little harder to get him out of there. “I know but…”
“Remember what’s real” his voice more insistent “You can’t lose yourself in this.”
“Why? It’s not like there’s much else left for me to do”
“I’m not letting you”
“This is my head shouldn’t I be making the rules?”
“You’re not alone in here anymore” Gabriel’s voice turned serious, it was barely louder than a whisper and after you blinked the archangel had completely disappeared from your room. As soon as he was gone the feeling of helplessness and loneliness washed over you again. All you could do was go back to reading and hoping Lucifer and the boys hurried up with saving the world.
It couldn’t have been more than an hour before you heard knocking on your door again. It was the secret code again. Surprised to see Gabriel again so soon you went and opened the door.
However you weren’t met with Gabriel’s soft brown eyes and his cheery smile. On the other side of the door stood Lucifer, the way you remembered him in his old vessel before… before he moved in with you in your mind and body.
“I sensed your discomfort” was all he said. His eyes didn’t leave yours as he stood there.
“I’m fine” you snapped and involuntary crossed your arms in front of your chest in defiance.
“Don’t lie to me” his voice was so soft which took you by surprise, especially when he added “please”
You didn’t know what his game was but you didn’t like it. A Lucifer that seemed tactful and not mocking brought every nerve in your body on edge. The devil didn’t care no matter what he said or how he acted.
“I can see your suspicion all over your pretty face” he chuckled and averted his eyes for the first time. You used that moment to study him intently without his noticing. Yes there was a chuckle that could have been mocking yet it sounded humourless and empty. There was some kind of shadow all over his face, but it wasn’t lines of rage that usually shaped his expression, it almost looked sad
“Why won’t you ever let me in?” Lucifer met yours eyes once more and the full impact of the sadness you sensed hit you. It wasn’t just written across his face you could actually physically feel it. Sadness, mixed with loneliness, though you couldn’t distinguish anymore of the latter was your own or his.
“I let you in so you would help Cas and the boys” your voice sounded hollow to your own ears, your head too busy with all the emotions washing over you.
“You surrendered” Lucifer corrected “And then you locked yourself away.”
“We both got what we wanted” you snapped trying to sound angry but even the Elysian fields hotel didn’t let you channel enough anger for the archangel anymore.
“What if what I wanted changed?” There was a careful almost casual tone in Lucifer’s voice. But the echo of fear hit you as if another emotion was bouncing right of the hotel hallway walls.
“You’re not keeping this body!”
“Always so quick with assumptions” the fearful echo inside your emotions increased as he took a step towards you. Lucifer’s hand carefully connected with your cheek, cupping it in a slightly cold hold. “You think you’ve got me all figured out don’t you? In your little head you did the great sacrifice with letting the devil in to save the world. You are a hero and I’m the villain. My brother is your knight in shining armour who helps you through your great burden of being here.” For a moment his hold on your cheek got even colder. The echo emotions went back to fear and new rage. To your own surprise however you were almost certain neither the fear nor the rage was yours. Lucifer, no matter how physically close and no matter his words, didn’t scare you.
“Things are never that simple” Lucifer hissed before he pressed his lips against yours in a demanding kiss. You couldn’t respond too distracted by all the things you and the echo feelings felt. There was hope, anger, need, love, surprise and fear. So many emotions taking your brain on a rollercoaster. It didn’t stop when Lucifer pulled away but something added to it. A quite new feeling you were certain wasn’t there before but this one was all yours. You suddenly not only felt the small attraction you had to Lucifer physically increase but there was also a deep want to feel his lips again.
“What’s happening?” You asked.
“I kissed you” he said sounding a bit surprised himself “Got your pretty little head all confused with both our feelings.”
“Both our…”
“Mostly mine I guess. Archangel trumps human on the emotion scale apparently.” He shook his head as if to lose a thought “you will get your own feelings back. Sorry not sorry to bother you.”
And then he left. The devil walked down the Elysian Fields hotel and for the first time since you started living in your own head you weren’t angry. You could feel his emotions getting quieter, but the sadness and disappointment stayed behind. Because it was all yours.
“This is why I can’t let you in” you whispered down the empty hallway “In the end you will leave me behind”