Chapter Text
Two pairs of equally dark eyes met as they sat across from each other, the air thick with tension. Lady Corrin had noticed the animosity between them and ordered them to spend time together. Spend time together? It wasn't as if they needed to be friends. They could work together just fine on the battlefield, and the time they spent serving Lady Corrin rarely overlapped.
Both parties found the exercise pointless.
“Would you like some tea?” Kaze offered, finally breaking the silence. Ah, there it was. The ninja’s palpable respect for all people who weren't murderers, thieves, or anything else of that manner, prevented him from maintaining the cold attitude.
“I will not be drinking your inferior tea,” Jakob replied.
A pause. “Lady Corrin wishes for us to get along. You wouldn't want to disappoint her, would you?”
Jakob folded his hands in his lap, fingers deft from buttling intertwining. “Of course not.”
“We may get along better if you didn't insult me.”
“I was merely speaking the truth,” Jakob corrected, accented voice as cool as ever.
“How can you know if my tea is inferior if you won't even try it?” Kaze countered, grey eyes glimmering with challenge.
“Quite simply because I make the best tea in the world.”
“Is that so?”
Jakob nodded, somehow managing to keep a smug smile off of his face as he did so. “Each cup is perfect for Lady Corrin's needs and wants.”
“And what of those who aren't Lady Corrin?” Kaze challenged.
“And why am I making tea for these people, pray tell?”
Kaze furrowed his brow. “Wh-what do you mean? Why wouldn't you?”
He shrugged. “I'm not nice, not like you. I don't feel compelled to help everyone whose path I cross.”
Kaze shook his head looking vaguely disgusted. “I-I can't relate or understand a single thing you just said.”
“I know. This is why we don't talk,” he explained, face showing distinct irritation. “Are we done here?”
Kaze sighed in relief. “I thought you'd never ask.”
Several days later, Corrin pointed out that she hadn't seen any improvement. Kaze protested, saying that he fully respected Jakob and would gladly work alongside him whenever necessary.
Jakob didn't necessarily return the sentiment, but he decided to keep quiet about that.
Then Corrin asked they both spend time with her, a perfectly reasonable and easily fulfilled request. They didn't have to pay attention to each other.
About five minutes in, Corrin stood up. “I'm gonna use the restroom.” She left before Kaze or Jakob could reply.
They were left in an uncomfortable silence.
“We should try to get along,” Kaze suggested quietly.
“Why?”
The ninja sighed. “It would make Lady Corrin happy.”
Jakob let out a dramatic sigh. “We can pretend to get along. It's not really going to work.” He paused.
Kaze chewed on his lip, looking pained. “Very well.”
Tricking Lady Corrin into thinking they were friends was more difficult than expected.
She was rather perceptive. And their attempts at amicable behavior were weak at best.
“I asked you to get along!” she exclaimed after inviting both to her quarters. “But you're too caught up in manly competitiveness!”
Kaze lowered his head. “I'm sorry, milady,” he apologized. “We've been immature.”
She sighed. “I don't care if you're sorry. I care if you correct your behavior. You two are currently tied with Oboro and Hinata for best retainers. I don't want that to change because you're too proud to work together.”
“Tied for best retainers?” Jakob questioned. “ Tied ?”
She shrugged. “I don't know. Something about having a monster crush on your liege makes you work harder or whatever.”
“And we work hard despite our ability to keep our feelings strictly platonic?” Jakob suggested. “Doesn't that make us better?”
“I guess,” came her reply. “Although, to be perfectly honest, I'm pretty sure he likes the attention.”
“Because he's needy little brat,” Jakob muttered.
Corrin crossed her arms. “That's my little sibling you're talking about,” she scolded.
“I like all of your other younger siblings better.”
She furrowed her brow. “What? You've hardly interacted with Leo or Sakura, and you don't seem to like Elise all that much.”
He shrugged.
She shook her head, rolling her eyes. “Whatever. Anyway, get along!”
“I'll do my best, milady,” Kaze murmured.
“As will I.”
After that talk, their relationship improved. Something about a scolding from Corrin, one of the nicest people either of them had ever met, drove the point home. Kaze began treating Jakob as a friend rather than an ally. Jakob reluctantly stopped thinking of him as a rival. Kaze continued offering things, typically tea or baked goods, to Jakob. The butler began to accept them. Jakob became one of the people to whom Kaze passed unwanted gifts. Jakob accepted those too. Kaze started spending time with Jakob outside of work. Jakob started to enjoy this.
Jakob ran over to Kaze as blood leaked out of the ninja's wound. He had taken a sword straight to the gut. An ally had taken out his attacker, and so the sword remained in him, mostly staunching the bleeding. The fabric of his shirt was stained and torn and his breaths came ragged and slow.
Jakob got to work healing him. Kaze’s eyes were closed as he tried to ignore the pain, and blood dribbled down his chin from biting his lips. The butler held his staff in one hand, using the other to pry his lips apart. The last thing Kaze needed was to injure himself further.
Kaze immediately let out a choked whimper, then a full out sob.
Jakob pulled the sword out and continued his work, trying to ignore Kaze's pained cries. If he couldn't recover… no, Jakob couldn't even entertain the possibility.
Then his staff broke.
Without even thinking about it, Jakob ripped off Kaze's scarf and pressed it to the wound, wincing as the sobs worsened. Despite the pressure he was putting on the wound, Jakob could feel hot blood seeping into the fabric.
“I…” Kaze choked out. “I…” His eyelashes fluttered as unconsciousness threatened him.
Without moving his hands, Jakob leaned forward to look Kaze in the eyes. “Kaze,” he murmured. “Kaze, stay with me.”
“I'm… I'm sorry,” he whimpered.
“Kaze,” Jakob insisted.
“I'm sorry,” Kaze repeated, reaching a shaking, bloodied hand up to touch Jakob’s face. “I'm sorry that I can't… stay with…”
Kaze went limp. His arm flopped to the ground and his breathing slowed.
“Kaze!” Jakob exclaimed. He shouldn't move his hands, but…
Jakob moved one hand to cup Kaze's cheek and buried his face in his neck, trying to drink in his scent while he was still alive. “Kaze…” he repeated. “Kaze, please.”
He let out a sob, his tears wetting Kaze's neck. “Kaze, please, just wake up!”
It took twelve hours for Sakura and Elise to allow him into the room. Apparently he would ‘only get in the way’ and was ‘better at other things.’
Afterwards, he kept a largely silent vigil at the ninja's bedside for nearly five days, with occasional visits from Saizo, Corrin, and groups of girls that Jakob chased out. Corrin was fine with, even relieved by, Jakob's sudden dedication to his fellow retainer.
So when Kaze's dark eyes at last fluttered open, Jakob was the first to see them.
“Kaze,” Jakob murmured, eyes brimming with tears. Gods, he had cried more in the past week than he had in more than two years leading up to it. Maybe more.
Kaze's reply was indiscernible, but his confusion was obvious.
Jakob had to coax Kaze back down when he tried to sit up. “Shh, shh, it's ok,” he reassured him, placing his other hand on his cheek.
“Wh-where am I?” Kaze wondered, looking around.
“We're back at Castle Krackenburg right now,” Jakob explained. “You're safe. Don't worry. We defeated the bandits.”
Kaze touched Jakob's cheek and Jakob took his hand gently. “I was so worried,” he mumbled.
Jakob furrowed his brow. “ You were worried? How do you think I felt?”
“I thought you didn't care.”
Jakob shook his head, frowning. “Of course I care!” He paused. “Do you have any idea how bad it was? How much I worried?” He sighed. “Kaze, I can't imagine a life without you.”
Kaze gave him a tight smile. “I count you among my closest friends,” he agreed.
Two days later, Kaze was at last allowed to leave. This was both a relief and a stressor to Jakob, because now the ninja could run away or go missing, leaving him to appear a stalker.
Two weeks later, Kaze turned to Jakob as the butler made tea.
“You're acting strange,” he commented.
Jakob returned the gaze. “Strange?”
He nodded. “You seem intent on following me, unnecessarily gentle with me and my feelings, and altogether more concerned about my safety than that of Lady Corrin.”
Jakob frowned. “Now that's simply not true. Lady Corrin is my inspiration, my liege, my reason for fighting and for living. You… you are my friend.”
Kaze smiled. “I'm relieved to hear it. I was concerned I would have to remind you of your duties.” He clinked his mug against Jakob's. “To friendship.”
“To… to loyalty.”
They had their first spat in several weeks. Somehow, a quiet disagreement over Saizo's character had turned into a full-on argument, with yelling and furrowed brows and balled fists.
At some point during said fight, Kaze had ended up with his back pressed up against the wall. Jakob got right in his personal space, leaning in close and whispering harsh words.
And then they were kissing. Neither knew who initiated it, but their lips were touching. It was an awkward, inexperienced kiss, the type that could only occur between people who had never kissed before.
They made up for it in enthusiasm.
Jakob eventually had to break off his exploration of Kaze's mouth to catch his breath.
Kaze stared at him for a moment, eyes wide with panic. He pushed Jakob off of him before the butler could comment and fled.
The ninja did everything in his power to avoid Jakob, even picking up on his brother's habit of sticking to the shadows. It worked rather well, and neither saw each other for nearly two weeks.
Jakob felt like a he had a gaping hole in his chest. Somehow the ninja had wormed his way into his heart and going cold turkey on his presence was torture.
Though Jakob didn't know it, Kaze was in his own hell. He missed Jakob just as much, if not more, but couldn't do anything about it. Not if he didn't want… no, he couldn't even consider the possibility.
Corrin couldn't stand the pain her retainers were in. And she knew the solution.
Her plan required Leo’s assistance. Years before, her younger sibling had figured out how to create vines that would keep a door closed with Brynhildr. What use Leo had for such information, she had a couple of ideas, but… well, that wasn't the point.
Corrin’s apparition called for her retainers, seated on her bed as she awaited them. Even though they weren't on speaking terms, neither would deny their liege a request.
The illusion disappeared and thick vines covered the door.
“That should hold for a couple hours,” Leo informed Corrin. “If you need anything else, I'll be in my room. And it better be important.”
With that, the mage left.
“What the…” Kaze wondered at his current situation. Corrin had been in her room, but had disappeared the instant the door closed. The door was unlocked, but would not open.
They were stuck.
Jakob fiddled with a glowing leaf poking through the crack in the door. “This is Lord Leo’s handiwork.”
Why? What stake did the mage have in this? It wasn't as if either of them were at all familiar with the 20-year-old.
Lady Corrin.
Lady Corrin had noticed and roped Lord Leo into the matter.
“We should talk,” Jakob stated finally.
Kaze sighed and nodded.
“Did what I did upset you?” he questioned. He inwardly shuddered at the thought of doing something nonconsensual with Kaze, albeit unintentionally.
Kaze paused. “Not in and of itself. But what it means… that bothers me.” He lowered his gaze.
“You mean a relationship.”
Kaze lifted his head to look at Jakob. “I mean me being gay.”
Jakob crossed his arms. “It's not as though anyone has a problem with that anymore.”
Kaze lowered his head again. “My family… my brother would have a problem with it,” he admitted quietly.
“If your brother loves you, he'll learn to accept you,” Jakob asserted. He lifted Kaze's chin with an outstretched hand. He looked him in the eyes. “And if he doesn't… well, I think everyone else will have something to say about it.”
“You think… you think we could… we could work? As a couple?”
“I would like us to,” Jakob replied. “If you will have me, I would very much like to be your romantic partner.”
Kaze chewed on his lip. “Well… I would like that too.” He didn't want to voice his misgivings, lest he ruin his chances.
Jakob dropped his hand before slipping it into Kaze's. “Good.”
“Wait,” Kaze protested. “Can we… can we keep this a secret?”
“We're telling Lady Corrin. Other than that, I don't care.”
Kaze smiled. “Very well.” He walked over to the door and tried it again. “Milady? We've worked out our differences,” he called.
“Alright, I'll get Leo.”
Leo had been irritable about being disturbed, but had consented to letting them out after a bit of persuasion.
“I don't want to deal with this again,” Leo muttered after they had been let out. “Work out your issues on your own from now on.”
“Thanks, little br--Er, Leo,” Corrin murmured, giving the mage a hug.
Leo stiffened in the hug, but awkwardly put an arm around her back after a second. “Yeah, no problem.”
The door closed with a click when Leo exited the room.
“So?” Corrin asked, looking at her retainers.
“What do you mean, milady?” Kaze questioned.
“So, what'd you two talk about?” The excited grin on her face suggested that she knew very well what they had talked about.
“Well, we determined…” he mumbled, lowering his head.
“We have begun a romantic relationship,” Jakob finished succinctly, apparently not interested in listening to Kaze's embarrassed retelling.
Corrin let out a high-pitched squeal. “That's… that's awesome!” she exclaimed, face lighting up.
Kaze crossed his arms. “Yeah, uh… we're keeping it a secret.” He didn't look particularly happy.
She cocked her head. “How… how come?”
Kaze sighed, closing his eyes. “Saizo… he wouldn't approve.”
She folded her arms across her chest with a frown. “Well… well that's not cool of him!”
The ninja shrugged. “I don't know what to tell you. It's in our culture.” He let up out a heavy sigh. “I'm a… disgrace.” A tear slid down his cheek.
The princess embraced her retainer. “I'm sorry… I'm so, so sorry.” She held him at arm’s length. “You are not a disgrace, you hear me?”
He leaned forward into her embrace and nuzzled his face into her neck. Tears streamed down onto her collar as silent sobs wracked his body. He couldn't believe that this was when he broke down, in front of Lady Corrin and when he should be smiling. But no, he was shamelessly crying into his liege’s neck.
But maybe the tears were good for him.
Maybe it was a good thing that all of these pent up feelings, all of the years of shame, shame of who he was, all of the pain he had felt, all of it was pouring out of him in front of his closest friends. No, not friends. Friend and boy friend.
Boyfriend.
That would take getting used to.
It took two days before Kaze felt guilty about keeping such a big secret from his twin. It was souring his moods, slowing his work, and generally making him unhappy.
Needless to say, people noticed. Everyone noticed. Girls in the street commented that he seemed downright gloomy. He didn't take to Corrin's orders with much enthusiasm. Kagero caught him crying. He snapped at Jakob. He avoided his brother. Everything he explained away, but almost nobody believed him. They didn't challenge him, but he could see their disbelief on their faces.
A week and a half after they had gotten together, Kaze had taken to cuddling with Jakob frequently, usually at night and in Jakob's bed.
On one such night, Kaze looked at his partner carefully. “Jakob,” he finally asked. “Am I being childish?”
“For what specifically?”
“F-for reacting so strongly to all of this,” he mumbled, draping an arm over the butler’s chest.
“No,” Jakob replied. “However, you are being unnecessarily self-deprecating. You should not feel guilty for defending yourself.”
Kaze sighed. His partner was wearing a rare face, genuine concern rather than his typical smile. Of course he would think that. The circle of people the butler cared about was small. Kaze, on the other hand, cared about everyone . No, he wasn't Silas, but he still felt responsible for other people. If Selena, a total stranger, was crying, he would do anything in his power to help her. Jakob would walk away.
Whose approach was better? Was it better to dedicate oneself to a select few, or was it better to try to help everyone?
Honestly, Kaze sometimes wished he could just not care . But it wasn't possible.
But right now, all he had to care about was himself and Jakob. Everyone else… they could wait.