Work Text:
Rachel Zane is an attractive woman. She is well aware of that fact. She knows it because people always comment on and complement her looks (but never her brains). Most male associates at Pearson/Hardman hit on her within the first 5 minutes of her giving them the tour. The women who read her right always have to wait until after the tour before discreetly asking her out. That works for her a little better, but it still mostly seems to come down to her looks. And the fact that she is just a lowly paralegal while they are Harvard educated lawyers, which means there is certain arrogance in all of them, and a lot of the guys are just douches. It’s a bit more complicated with the women, but a lot of the newly graduated enjoy their higher rank over, so she doesn’t really try to make things work with them either.
It’s not that she really minds people finding her beautiful. It gets her free drinks and certain treatment at places. She likes sex well enough, so she does sometimes go out with her friends and goes home with someone, just the take the edge off. But she still feels like there is a difference with the way she handles her relationship issues than how her friends do it. She tells herself that with her schedule it’s hard to make anything work, but part of her also just doesn’t feel like making the effort.
She did try to make a relationship with a coworker work once (twice). Colin was a first year, she was at her second year Pearson/Hardman. Her mother was very adamant that she should start trying to settle down already with some nice guy from work. (She hasn’t told her mother about her bi-ness. She’s not sure how she would react. She suspect she would just adjust her pool of eligible single people to everyone that might be attracted to her, and Rachel really doesn’t wanna deal with her doubled efforts at setting her up with someone). But she tried with Colin, and it was a huge disaster.
It doesn’t help that the last time, one of the few times that she really fell for someone, it was Logan Sanders, a client and a married man who would’ve never left his wife for her. The whole ordeal still leaves her with such mixed feelings. Her one semi-successful relationship was with a fellow pre-law Maia, but she ended up getting to law school, while Rachel was left behind. That hurt. She wishes she had something positive to cling to in her past relationships, but she doesn’t.
She has pretty much given up on finding anyone for the time being. She knows that she still has time, she’s young, but she also can’t help the frustration, especially with her friends settling down, moving on in the world. Sometimes she feels stuck. Stuck as a lonely paralegal, who will always stay that way.
###
Then suddenly, there is Mike Ross. Mike Ross, who hits on her within 5 seconds of meeting her and she can tell she will soon be receiving a stapler from him. Mike Ross, who seems to be lacking some of the most basic lawyering skills, so he asks her help, a lot.
But there is something different about him. He seems to genuinely respect her intelligence and her skills. In addition to being attracted to her. She really enjoys his company, and he really seems to care about her as a person too. He’s cute and kind and he really genuine *cares* and he is the only one interested in proving she was falsely suspended. He helps make her feel like she really can move on with her life. Like she really could one day become a lawyer and maybe she could make a relationship work too.
When he starts to officially date Jenny, it feels like an ugly rerun. Again, she develops feelings for a taken man. But Mike doesn’t stop flirting with her, making her feel valued, so she can’t help herself and kisses him. It’s a good kiss. So good she can’t stop thinking about it and she drunk dials him like a damn fool.
But he doesn’t react. Acts like her message didn’t happen and she *knows* she should just move on, concentrate on retaking the LSATs. But then… He kisses her again and it’s ill-timed and probably a bad idea but… She’s happy. Maybe her life will get unstuck, finally.