Work Text:
Noctis isn't sure who to seek out, he just knows that he needs to talk to someone. His chest is too tight, air is hardly getting in at all and his head is a mess of negative thoughts, each one spiralling out of control. He needed to sit down and talk this through, this bubbling, swarming sensation that flocked in his throat like an angry cloud of bees. God it stung.
Noctis hurriedly yanks his spare key out of his pocket, fumbling through all the damn charms Prompto has snuck onto his keychain before he manages to swiftly stick the key into the door and unlock it. It swings open refreshingly and he stumbles inside, pulling himself together for a moment to close it behind him and crouch down, pulling his shoes off slowly.
"Luna?"
His voice is a little unsteady and he knows that, to Luna's trained ear, she would know immediately that something was wrong. He knows she should be here, she doesn't start work for another two hours and she had no classes today too. She has to be here, he doesn't know what he'd do if she wasn't.
"Noctis? We're out on the balcony." Her voice rang back to his grateful ears.
He almost trips over the little step up into their hallway, jerkily sprinting through the apartment to the living room where the balcony doors are open and the curtains are billowing inwards like a dream. He only thinks then to freeze and contemplate what she said. We?
Noctis tip-toes out onto the concrete ledge, his eyes adjusting a little before they land on three messy heads of blond hair.
"What are you doing here?" The words slip out, a little like a shaken mumble but no one calls him up on it.
"Skipping class." Loqi quips, raising his milkshake to his lips and slurping through the straw loudly.
"Skipping work." Prompto adds, tugging on his line that leads up into the sky instead of into a pond and Noct is a little confused until he follows it up and finds a diamond of colour clashing with the grey sky.
"Why are you flying kites?"
"Why not?" Prompto responds lazily, voice rolling out over his tongue like warm marbles and Noct finds it oddly soothing. He's about to ask something, anything that would make Prompto speak again, but Luna tugs on his sleeve. She's dragging a metal chair over the concrete floor with her left arm, pulling it next to her own spot in the sun. He takes the seat with a weary sigh and Luna rests a hand on his knee.
"Are you okay?"
"...no." He mumbles slowly, he's come all this way from his tiny, suffocating apartment of essays and notes to memorise, to talk to her and now that he's here suddenly...suddenly the words are gone. Well...not exactly, they're there, stuck in his throat, congealing in this ugly scribbled out monologue that makes him uncomfortable. He doesn't want to sound dramatic. It's all so stupid anyway.
"Noctis." He looks up into Luna's clear, concerned eyes, "Talk to me."
"It's just...I...everything is just too much."
"School? Or family?"
"Both, Luna it's a nightmare, I have so much work to do and Dad's health is failing. Everyone keeps expecting me to take over the company and I'm trying but everything is just so confusing. I went to my lectures today, right?" Luna nodded calmly as his voice hinged on a manic tone, "I didn't understand anything but I can't just ask the professor because I'm behind and he'll just lecture me about my tardiness and I don't need that right now, I just..." He takes a deep breath, "I just don't get it. Why is there so much? I thought this was supposed to be the start you know? It just feels like...it feels like everything is ending already and I can't stop it Luna, I can't stop it-"
He desperately tries to block out the taunting voice in the back of his mind that's pointing out how broken and pathetic and melodramatic he sounds but he needs to accurately convey how he feels so that Luna can help him.
Everything feels closed off.
He's driving down a tunnel that's been sectioned off for roadworks, it's a dead-end. He's taking over the company as soon as he leaves university and after that? It's twenty-four hours a day behind a desk reading numbers and listening to reports from people whose names he doesn't even remember. He wants to go back to blissful ignorance when he didn't notice how often his Dad coughed on oxygen and how people looked at him with eyes heavy with expectation. He wants to go back to being a kid, when he was in a little bubble.
Everything was more manageable back then.
Luna has taken a hold of his hand and her thumb is stroking over his knuckles gently as he cries, tears wracking his body and it's the only sound he hears for a while. Loqi and Prompto have stopped talking and he's suddenly so self-conscious of the salty tears and snot that are running out of him like blood out of a wound. He wants to get a hold of himself but the voice pointing that out is getting smaller and smaller, drowning in his sadness until it can no longer deny how much he needed this. Just to let this all go in quiet company until he was hollow of emotion, clear and ignorant of the mess he's making of his face.
Luna holds his hand the entire time, at one point she takes it in both of her own and turns her body so she's facing him. It's reassuring, knowing that she's paying attention to him, understanding all his pain. He stops crying, he can't breathe anymore, everything is clogged up, his body still goes through the motions and he's wetly gasping for air but she doesn't let go.
"Noctis."
It's like being slapped, his whole body flinches at the sound of her voice and tears start welling up again.
"Noctis, do you want to stay over?"
"I-I can't!" He cries, hunched over as his mind flies back to his messy apartment, "I-I have a test tomorrow." He licks his cracked lips and curls in on himself a bit more.
"No, Noctis, you need some time to yourself. You need to relax. Don't think about work at the moment, what do you want to do?"
He looks up and sees Luna, Prompto and Loqi regarding him patiently. His eyes follow the string in Prompto's hand up to the sky and he sniffles.
"Can I uh..."
"Yeah, sure!" Prompto stands up quickly, eager to help, his chair screeches on the concrete floor but Noct doesn't pay attention, instead he watches avidly as the handle and taut string get pushed into his shaky hand, "Just make sure you don't let go, alright?"
"Yeah! Otherwise I'll sue!" Loqi chirps up, voice harsh and grating but strangely comforting in its normalcy. Noct almost wants to tell Luna and Prompto it's fine and not to throw him the dirty look they cast at him in warning.
"Yeah," Noct wipes his nose on his sleeve and follows the string back up to the sky with blurry vision, a smile slowly stretching onto his face as a fading sob reappears unexpectedly, "Yeah I won't."
He fades into the soft sounds of the wind rushing through the balcony with its small garden of herbs and succulents that Luna has desperately been trying to grow (despite her poisonous gardening skills) and its wind chimes that Prompto got as a birthday present from Cindy. He fades into the soft murmurs of conversation that start up again between Loqi and Prompto and rise into comforting background ambience, akin to a café or the university library. He fades into the sensation of his feet grounded on the balcony floor and Luna's hand rubbing his back reassuringly, the ache he didn't even know he had dissipating. Noct smiles to himself and looks over to Luna who meets his smile with her own.
"You don't mind if I sleep over?"
"Of course not." She shakes her head carefully, "I just hope you don't mind a movie marathon."
Noct barks out a sandpaper laugh, "Nah, I don't mind. I just have to prepare myself for more of Loqi's antics yeah?"
"For fuck's sake!!" Loqi groans, slumping back into his chair, milkshake swirling in his hand lazily, "The pancakes was a one time thing okay? Never again!"
"Yeah, next time it'll be a whole kwecking cake." Prompto 'whispers' to Noct and Luna.
Noct laughs along with them and loses himself in their bubble of ignorance.
He won't let go.