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Doggone Strays

Summary:

"Huh," Ouma says by way of greeting.

The object of his confusion paws his pant leg with sharp, sharp claws, tongue darting in and out of its mouth. Close by, Momota grins.

"You like him? I think it's a him, I don't really know."

(Or: Momota adopts a stray dog. It's cute. Ouma hates it.)

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

"Huh," Ouma says by way of greeting.

The object of his confusion paws his pant leg with sharp, sharp claws, tongue darting in and out of its mouth. Close by, Momota grins.

"You like him? I think it's a him, I don't really know."

Ouma furrows his brows at the... thing.

"I'm going to need some context, Momota-chan."

Then Momota launches into a tale of grocery shopping and hope warrior fending and animal rescue, and all Ouma can think about as the thing dances around his roommate is, I'm allergic. He'll believe me if I say that, right? Right?

 

 


 

 

Ouma doesn't hate dogs. Loves them, actually. When they're not busy ruining his life.

"You're not listening to me," he whines from where he's sprawled on his back, watching a topsy-turvy Momota rub the ears of his stray puppy. Rigel, he's dubbed him. Ouma would have settled for something more inane like Fluffy or Football, but of course Momota would name it after a star. He always does for the things he likes. "Momota-chan. Momota-chan. Hey, hey! Hello~o?"

"—Yeah?"

Ouma pouts. "You're not even looking at me."

Momota obliges. "What's up?"

"I was asking for your opinion. Which you know only happens once in a blue moon."

"Oh yeah, what were you saying again—? Hey!" Momota laughs as Rigel licks his cheek. "Geez, you're energetic. I should probably take you to the park, huh? You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Momota-chan," Ouma grumbles. "I know you have a short attention span and that's why you totally failed your astronaut exam, but please listen to me for once?"

"Should I get him a collar? You think he'd like that?" Rigel makes a guttural noise in his throat. "Heh? You don't? No worries man, I bet you're used to that kinda stuff. You like eating scraps or dog food? If you want, I'll buy you the good shit!"

Rigel yips like the furry chestnut thing he is, canines flashing and beady black eyes gleaming. Momota grins with him.

"Marry each other already," Ouma quips.

Momota doesn't even hear him. Ouma's smile falters.

 

 


 

 

They're bickering less and it's driving him crazy.

Which shouldn't be the case because it's Ouma's job to drive Momota crazy, not the other way around. It's not even him that's the problem, it's Rigel. Tiny furry Rigel who needs to be walked everyday and fed kibble everyday and doted on everyday, and Ouma doesn't like how he's feeling more and more of a phantom than an actual roommate.

Which gives him a wonderful idea.

"Look at this space photo Saihara-chan sent me~," he says to Momota one sunny afternoon, waving a phone innocently in front of him. Momota doesn't even question his questionably singsong tone which is — and just looks, willingly, as Rigel fidgets restlessly in his grasp.

Then he screams because it's a photo of a ghost, and Ouma waits with bated breath for the incoming yelling, the old song and dance. But the only yelling Momota does is to stop Rigel from eating the hell out of Ouma's shin.

"Man, he really went all out," he says minutes later as he bandages the wound, Rigel clawing the door from outside. "Next time you do something like that, definitely don't do it in front of him!"

"I'm not going to stop being me for — this — ow!"

"Shit, sorry."

"Why don't you just get rid of him," Ouma says, because Momota being nice to him is too much of a space oddity.

Momota snorts. "Why don't I just get rid of you?"

Ouma gives him a blank look.

 

 


 

 

He makes a dog bed out of Ouma's blankets.

That's the last straw.

 

 


 

 

"You're an attention whore," Amami says.

"I'm not!"

"You are," Amami repeats coolly. "That's the only reason why you're freaking out about something this ridiculous."

Ouma rolls to his side with a huff. "I'm being serious, Amami-chan. My whole reason for living here has become a lie. If I can't annoy Momota-chan, what good am I? What does that say about me as the ultimate prankster?"

Amami's pixelated image shifts on the phone. "You haven't pranked him ever since you made that truce," he points out.

Ouma perks up. "That's it! I just have to prank him without that dumb dog around!"

"How is this not whoring..?"

"Don't be vulgar, Amami-chan." Ouma starts brainstorming all the possible disasters he can concoct on short notice. More than that, he has to find a way to get Rigel away from the disaster zone, both for Ouma's safety and so Momota doesn't get distracted.

He needs an accomplice.

 

 


 

 

"Don't let him near the bastard who lurks in the bushes, he always tries to grab Rigel and it scares him. Oh, and don't be too harsh with the leash, I don't use one with him 'cause he follows me wherever I go, but he's gotta get used to you first. And don't give him too much of the treats! And if he licks you a lot..."

"Yeah, yeah, rules and stuff," Ouma says boredly. He feels a certain stray's gaze on him. "Okay~! Now that Saihara-chan's got the walking thing covered, let's make lunch."

Except Rigel refuses to move an inch. "Um," Saihara says, looking at them helplessly, the leash slack in his grip.

Momota kneels before the dog. "Hey, you gotta behave. I trust Shuuichi, so you should too!"

Ouma hums. "Why don't you tell him to trust me, too?"

Rigel promptly dashes out of the room, dragging Saihara with him. The door slams shut. Ouma turns to Momota with a wide smile.

"What?"

"Nothing," Ouma says. "Just thought that we should cook."

Momota looks at him dubiously. It's a big change from his usual suspicion, which is mildly disappointing, but Ouma will take anything he can get.

Maybe not the fact that Momota agrees to make miso soup without protest, acting like Ouma's one of his friends and not a parasite who should be ruining his life as per the unofficial roommate agreement.

Ouma gets dizzier still when Momota calls him by his first name. Which only happens when he's in a really, really good mood.

Screw the prank, Ouma thinks distantly as Momota recoils from the hot mess inside the large pot, only to stumble in Rigel's bed and comment on its absolute poor state, hey Kokichi, I'm going to replace this real quick, I'll let you handle lunch, yeah?

Rigel needs to go.

 

 


 

 

"But Toujou!"

"I can't stress how much of an issue this is, Momota-kun. Two of my tenants are allergic to dogs. I'm sorry, but I have to insist."

"But—!"

"No pets," Toujou says firmly. "As far as I'm concerned, the only stray I will allow is Ouma-kun."

"Yeah, Momota-chan! You've been neglecting me these past few days! I haven't had a decent meal, haven't exercised my legs, not been properly groomed..!"

Toujou regards him with bemusement. "I was not comparing you to a dog, Ouma-kun... But my point still stands. I'm sorry, but Rigel can't stay here. Might I suggest you let Hoshi-kun take care of him instead?"

Momota slumps. "I guess... Man, this sucks."

"It is what it is," Ouma says with false sympathy. He ignores Toujou's knowing look (so what if he told her to lie about the allergy thing) and turns to Rigel, who sits patiently on the sidewalk with a knowing look of his own. Ouma smiles sweetly.

"Hey, I know this isn't ideal but you'll be in good hands," Momota says as Rigel leaps in protest (or tries to bound over to Ouma and rip his shins apart). "Hoshi will take care of you real good, and I'll visit you a lot! It's better than what you had before, yeah? Being lonely in that alleyway with those bastards picking on you."

"Momota-chan, hurry it up," Ouma says, flinching when the taller boy shoots him a glare.

"You're the one who tattled in the first place! Let me have this at least!"

Rigel barks in agreement and somehow, that makes it worse.

"What you did was technically right," Amami says hours later, a mere voice on the other end of the line. "For the wrong reasons, obviously. You've made him unhappy now."

"I know that," Ouma says. He stands before Momota's whiteboard and wonders what to write. You still have me crosses his mind, but he thinks better of it. "He's changed, Amami-chan. He's not fun anymore."

"This might come as a shock to you, Ouma," Amami says, "but you and Rigel are more alike than you think."

Ouma laughs. Then laughs some more.

"You're stupid," he finally says.

"You're jealous," Amami says.

Ouma laughs.

 

 


 

 

It's 9 PM in their recently vacuum-cleaned apartment when he slaps Momota with a pillow.

"Ow! What was that for?!"

"You're boring when you're mopey," Ouma says. He sidles up to him on the shabby couch, remote dangling from his fingers. "Come on, your favorite anime is on! Let's have fun predicting the plot twists and totally getting them right~"

"Nah, don't feel like it..."

Ouma looks away. "Why not? Do you miss Rigel that much? Are you going to snap again because you can't handle something you love being taken away from you?" He changes the channel with a scoff. "Sorry Momota-chan, but learn to live with loss for once."

"The hell," Momota growls, fire returning to his eyes. "You can't say that shit to me, you know how I feel about—"

"Yeah, yeah, who doesn't know?"

Momota bares his teeth. "Seriously, what's wrong with you? You've been really weird these past few days."

"Nope! I wasn't the one who was weird. In fact, I'm even surprised you noticed me at all."

He spies Momota staring at him in his periphery. Ouma fixes his attention on the boring shounen anime and wonders when he started voicing his thoughts without a filter. It's honestly embarrassing, he's supposed to be the liar after all, he can't operate without his superpower—

Rough fingers rake his indigo hair. They stroke his scalp. Knead the back of his skull.

Ouma melts.

"Holy shit," Momota says with a shit-eating grin. Ouma kicks his leg but doesn't move away. Momota guffaws. "Holy shit, you're an actual dog."

"I'm not." The pressure increases and Ouma nearly keels.

"Maybe I'll call you Mintaka," Momota snickers.

He finally lets go after a minute. Ouma huffs and watches boring Momota's boring anime, head prickling with phantom warmth.

Stupid Rigel.

Notes:

Happy birthday grayimperia! Hope you enjoy this oneshot (I did it I finally wrote something complete *fist pump*)

And yes, this is practically a sequel to my other fic Skinsuits, which isn't finished but will be in the near future. Please have mercy.