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2017-09-02
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1/1
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My Name is Peter Parker and I'm Not Scared of You

Summary:

It's the first day of school, and the first day Peter will be going as Peter

(Also the title is a reference to Iron Man 3, with Tony's line to the Mandarin: "My name is Tony Stark, and I'm not scared of you.")

Notes:

This was done sort of by suggestion by a commenter on my other work "Peter Benjamin Parker." They suggested something about Peter's first day of school, and I really liked the idea.
Also, I saw a great headcanon where Peter's birth name is Karen, which is why the suit AI's name is Karen, so he can associate the deadname with something positive.
This is also before he got his powers, since my headcanon is that the bite gave him a huge boost of testosterone, which would seem weird if he had only just started his transition. So I don't know exactly when in canon that puts me, but... it's fine.

Work Text:

Looking back, Peter was thankful that he had reached the realization that he was trans before school started. He could only imagine how awkward it would be to have to correct his new teachers after they had gotten used to calling him “Karen,” and hearing all his classmates whisper whenever it came up.

He just felt like it would be easier, less painful, if he started the year out as Peter Parker.

It was the morning school started. Peter’s hair had been freshly cut, his wardrobe completely redone, and two months’ worth of testosterone already in his system.

He was shoveling eggs and toast into his mouth, unaware of just how quickly he was eating.

“And you made sure to email all my teachers, too? Not just the principal?” he was asking Aunt May, his mouth full.

“Swallow, Peter,” she chastised him, washing the pan she had used to make the eggs.

“Sorry,” he said, doing so.

“Yes. I did email your teachers. Most of them responded, and all but one were completely willing to accommodate you, especially with a guardian telling them first. I gave them your name and told them your pronouns, and explained the situation a little bit. Hopefully it’ll be easy.”

“What about the other one?” he asked, feeling anxiety clench his stomach halfway through another round of eggs.

“He insisted that he speak to the principal. But of course, since he’s already been told, I doubt you’re going to have much trouble.”

“Thank God.” He let out a breath of relief. “What about in gym?” he asked suddenly, his voice squeaking in its still feminine way.

“I called the principle about that already. He says that for the time being, he think it’s best and safest for you to use the men’s bathroom upstairs, rather than the locker room. Since you can’t exercise in your binder, he thinks it would be a bad idea to put you in a locker room with a bunch of nasty high school guys with your shirt off.”

“Yeah, yeah, makes sense.” He let out a breath, relieved he wouldn’t have to go to the women’s locker room. He could handle going to the men’s bathroom for nine months. He hoped.

“Peter?” May asked, looking at him with concern through her big glasses.

“Yeah?” he asked, looking up at her.

With an amused smile, she tapped her finger to the tip of her chin and raised an eyebrow at him.

“Oh!” he said, picking up the napkin and wiping off the cheesy bit of egg that had dripped onto his chin.

He stood up, going to the bathroom and barely able to contain himself. He was nervous, and that was translating into energy.

He looked into the mirror for a moment. Every day he looked at himself in the mirror and he looked for little things that had changed, little things that made him look more masculine. He looked through older pictures of him and then compared him with pictures he took recently, and he felt his heart light up. It wasn’t a big change, but it was a change, and he knew it would only get more and more drastic.

Soon, he knew, people would call him ‘sir’ without thinking, and people wouldn’t question him when he said his name was Peter.

That thought made him feel more excited than anything, though not necessarily for school.

He washed his face and brushed his teeth, obsessively checking the time and texting Ned.

He realized that his bus was going to be coming in ten minutes, and that it would take him roughly five to get to the stop, so he went to his room, picked his backpack up, and went out the door, calling “Bye Aunt May, love you!” over his shoulder as he went.

Peter felt oddly exposed as he stood at the bus stop. He had known the three kids who shared the stop with him for over five years, and they had always rode the same bus to school. Surely, they recognized him, but knew he didn’t look at all the same as he did a year ago.

He kept his eyes trained on his phone, and his mind focused on his music, so he wouldn’t be so aware of their stares.

Finally, one of the guys seemed to get up the nerve to say something.

His name was Chad, and he was the standard asshole. “Karen, is that you?” he asked, a smirk on his face. He was backed up by one of his friends, and they chuckled and congratulated each other in that way guys did when they were being dicks.

Peter didn’t respond. After all, his name  wasn’t Karen, so technically he was right.

Chad obviously didn’t like that, though, and so he came over and yanked one of Peter’s earphones out, leaning close and saying into his ear, “I said:  Karen, is that you ?”

“No,” Peter snapped, looking up at him. “My name isn’t Karen anymore. It’s Peter.”

Chad and his buddy exchanged a look, and Peter took a step away, hoping they would leave him alone now that they had gotten a response.

That was obviously too much to hope for, though. Chad turned on him again and sneered, “So you’re one of those trans special snowflakes now, huh?”

Peter let out a controlled breath, praying that the bus would hurry up and come. “ No ,” he said slowly, “I’m transgender , but I wouldn’t expect a neanderthal like you to understand such a big word.” If he was gonna get beat up, Peter supposed he might as well make it worth it.

Chad’s eyes narrowed and it looked like he was going to step forward and shove him, but the third person, a girl he knew to be Erika, stepped between him and Chad.

“Fuck off, Chad,” she snapped. “Unless you want me to beat your ass.”
Peter thought for a heart-stopping moment that there was going to be a fight right there on the sidewalk, and he considered calling Aunt May, but right as Chad opened his mouth to reply, the bus pulled around the corner and to a stop in front of them. Chad sneered at Erika and flipped Peter off before he and his buddy got on the bus.

Peter let out a slow breath, trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

“Don’t let him bother you,” Erika said quietly, before she mounted the stairs herself. Peter couldn't help but be a little annoyed, because the way she stepped in and said that made him feel weak, but he brushed it off, and decided to just be thankful he had escaped without anything bad happening to him.

Peter was texting Ned the whole bus ride, trying to calm himself down, and hoping that no one else noticed him. It was a crowded bus, and most of these kids were concerned with their own conversations, and not him, so that made him feel a little better.

When the bus pulled up to the high school, Peter stood, bracing himself for his first day of school as Peter Parker. Hopefully the rest of the day would go better than the period he had spent waiting for the bus, but he kind of doubted it.

Peter met Ned at their usual place, and Peter set his backpack down, letting out a sigh.

“Hey, I’m sorry that happened to you,” Ned said. “If I had been there, I wouldn’t have let Chad get away with saying that to you.”

Peter gave him a doubtful look. “No offense,” he said. “But I don’t think either of us could have taken him down.”

“Well, it wouldn’t hurt to try, would it?” He smiled, and Peter felt his own stress evaporate slightly.

They spent the rest of the time before school chatting and sharing memes, before the bell rang and they went to class. Peter had never been more grateful to have a class with Ned: having first period with his friend there to back him up seemed to make it a little less daunting.

When role was being called, the teacher looked at Peter over her glasses. “And you prefer to be called Peter, correct?” she asked.

Peter nodded. “Yeah, yeah,” he said quietly, avoiding her gaze slightly. He kept his eyes firmly on the desk, though he saw a few people--those who had known him for a long time--turn in their chairs to look at him.

The class, otherwise, went over well, which Peter wasn’t surprised at. His anxiety kept insisting something terrible would happen, but it was class, not ‘Let’s all focus on Peter for an hour.’

Ned made sure to walk with Peter to his next class, though it made Ned late, but Peter was grateful all the same. His wanted to make sure he didn’t get cornered by Flash or anyone else who wanted to give him a hard time.

Things went fine until lunch. Nothing more than a few weird looks and awkward questions from his teachers--which got progressively easier to deal with.

Flash, of course, cornered him and Ned as they were sitting down.

“So, Karen, I hear you’re trying to be a guy now,” he said, arms crossed. Peter felt a bit of revulsion in his stomach at being called his birth name.

“Um, not trying,” Peter said, holding Flash’s gaze. “I am a guy, and my name’s Peter.”

He felt Ned watching the two of them, ready to intervene should he feel it necessary.

“What’s your name?” Flash asked, started to grin. “ Penis Parker? Right, I’ll make sure to start calling you that.”

Peter let out a brief sigh, finally tearing his gaze away. He knew that it was specifically because he was trans that Flash had chosen that specific nickname, and it made a brief wave of dysphoria flare up in his chest.

“Fuck off, Flash,” Peter said, knowing better than to make it obvious that what he was saying was bothering him. “You’re a transphobic dickhole and I don’t care what you have to say.”

Flash sniffed at him and turned, going away finally.

Ned punched Peter affectionately in the arm. “Nice job, man!” he congratulated him.

Peter smiled a little bit in response. “Thanks, Ned,” he said quietly.

Despite a few hiccups, the rest of the school day wasn’t nearly as dramatic as lunch was, and although Peter left school drained beyond belief, he was largely unscathed, which was a win in his book. He hoped Flash would leave him alone now that he had made his opinion on Peter’s status as a guy clear, but he figured that that was a little too much to hope for.

Ned came over to the apartment with him, and after Peter assuring Aunt May that it was an okay day, all things considered, Ned insisted they curl up and watch Star Wars, and Peter, exhausted from the stresses of the day, fell asleep cuddled up against his friend.