Chapter Text
The first time Patton saw him, not when Logan popped into existence, with angled eyes and a sort… of little brother figure, but actually saw him. Saw him as more than that…
Logan had been young, trying to get Thomas to study harder for a test, and in that moment, he had been but a pair of peeking, cinnamon eyes, watchful over the giant stack of tomes he carried.
Patton remembered the last moment he’d ever think of Logan in a platonic way, how the other paused in their communal lounge, re-gripping the bottom of the stack.
Patton could almost see the moment in his mind, hear his own voice offer to take a few, ‘lighten the load’, so to speak. But with bare movement, Logan shook his head.
“Thank you for the offer, Patton, but I am quite capable of handling myself,” and with an affirmative nod, he departed.
Patton never quite understood, why at that moment, his heart beat against his ribcage as if it wished to escape, how the scent of old books and ink and detergent did not swamp his mind with ‘boredom’ any-longer, but with a fluttering feeling that made him lightheaded.
Now, Patton knew he wasn't exactly the smartest of the sides. But he knew emotions.
He knew what this meant.
Patton knew that he was, with no other words for it, fucked.
It was no coincidence, that after that time, he began acting a little more bubbly, often border-lining on air headed around the more logical side.
He hoped it served good contrast between the other’s fairly boring day-to-day being.
He hoped it didn't annoy Logan too much.
Because, if he were completely honest… Patton had no idea how to feel anything other than the bursting bubbles of joy around Logan.
And, somehow… he didn't really want to.
So, for the longest time… Nothing changed.
Until…
The voice came from behind him, just as he’d set a pan of fresh muffins on the counter, and more importantly, right after Logan had left the room.
“You’re in love with him, aren't you?”
Patton whirled around at hurricane speeds, making himself slightly dizzy and nearly burning himself by accident.
“W-W-Wh-What??? No, of course I’m not!” Patton exclaimed, cheek twitching as he mentally reprimanded himself for lying.
Patton plucked off the pink oven mitts, if only as something to do with his hands.
“Really?” Anxiety, or as he would be called in a years time, ‘Virgil’, asked. The raise of his eyebrow fluid, yet testing.
“O-Of course I’m not in l-l-l-love with L-L-Logan, that would be, I- I don't even, why, I would, I can't even imagine-” the sweet baked smell of muffins did not provide any kind of comfort, in fact, somehow, the scent felt strangling. And the normally hug-like warmth, spilling fourth from the oven, felt overwhelming to his fraying nerves.
“M’kay,” Anxiety gave a shrug, knowing when to back down, but also, when not to.
“‘Cause, hypothetically, if you were, you’d be in big trouble,” he moved to the counter where the muffins were set, taking out a paper plate and a pair of metal tongs.
“I-I mean we’re so different anyways so-… wait, what?” Patton turned.
“Why would that be bad?” Patton asked, to distracted to even warn Anxiety against eating the still-far-to-hot muffins. Anxiety turned his head to watch the other, a calculating expression on his porcelain mask.
“Hypothetically of course,” Patton was quick to amend.
Anxiety nodded.
“Well, hypothetically,” Anxiety obliged, “if anyone were in love with Logan, it would be bad news.” Patton was about to ask ‘why’, again, but Anxiety only raised a hand.
Patton’s words died in his throat.
“Because,” Anxiety clicked, “He’s logic.” At a raised eyebrow, Anxiety continued.
“He doesn't do, emotions, or love, or any of that. ‘Thinks it’s all stupid and illogical.” Anxiety waved his hands in the air as he tried to explain, but eventually, the silent conduction of his thoughts flowed to a halt, and his hands dropped to his sides.
“So, whoever that imagined person is? They’d just get hurt, and Logic would get confused, and it would be awkward.” Anxiety turned back to the muffins, using a pair of tongs to lift two of the still steaming muffins onto his plate.
Behind him, Patton’s figure was hunched, a shadow of his usually beaming self.
Anxiety turned and cursed his empathy, before placing an uncertain, unsteady hand on the other’s shoulder.
Patton looked up at the contact, earthy brown eyes watery and shifting with emotion.
“Look, I’m not saying feelings are bad, it’s just…” Anxiety sighed, “I… I don't want you to get hurt.” Patton nodded, thanking the darker side for his advice and retreating into his room to curl into his covers.
Patton cried that night, not because the words particularly hurt in any way, but because the reasoning was sound, and it all seemed far too… true.
And that stung more than any name they could call him.
So, Patton didn't get up again until the next morning, didn’t eat any of the muffins he’d baked that night.
So, taking Anxiety’s words with a grain of salt, Patton continued to smile and laugh around the logical trait. Making jokes, asking him what he was reading… mostly just engaging him in conversations, if only to hear the calming drone of his voice.
And, after a month of sideways looks from Anxiety, and the occasional raised brow from Prince, it seemed he was due another time for another, uncomfortable conversation about his life choices.
Wonder-bar…
“So… you and Logan… huh?” For the embodiment of Thomas’s romantic and dramatic emotions, he sure did have an interesting way of broaching such a subject.
Nonetheless, Patton went rigid and faltered, then stuttered out a violently stupid response.
“I-I, uh, don’t know what you’re talking about! W-What about me and L-L-Logan?” His hands wrung together like old dish towels, eyes franticly searching for a way out.
Roman was pretty sure, with all the stress the fatherly trait was putting on his pencil, it would snap.
“Oh come now, it’s pretty obvious you’ve got the hots for Mr. Cool, hm?” Roman laughed with a full bodied, head-thrown-back laughter that somehow made the awkwardness seep away.
But, Roman did not admit that it had taken him seeing Patton, with his own two eyes, doodling love-hearts around him and Logan’s name just a moment ago, to truly connect all the dots.
“So… when are you gonna become Mr. And Mr. Nerd? You know, pop the question?” Roman nudged him, not terribly gently, with his elbow. Patton, giving a well meaning titter, ran a hand through his hair.
“Honestly? I don't think I should, I mean…” Patton sighed, “I have no idea if he even likes me that way, or if he even feels romantic feelings at all… Really, I just don't want to make him uncomfortable, o-or-”
“Wait wait wait wait wait…” Roman interrupted, hands shaping an invisible snowman in the air.
“You two love-doves aren’t even dating?” Roman asked, head cocked dramatically to the side.
“U-U-Ummm, no?” Patton’s eyes darted left, shrinking away from the dramatic trait.
Roman grabbed the other by his shoulders, staring deep into slightly frightened cinnamon eyes.
“Alright, listen close doll, ’cause we’re about to get you a man.”