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Life was cruel, or in her case: the afterlife. It was one thing being sent back down as a guardian angel, but another if your charge… was the person you loved and died for, reincarnated. It hurts so much, watching her smile and laugh like she used to. Before everything went south for the both of them. Because you know you won’t get these times back. Never. After all… you were just her angel. And you would not commit the biggest crime, even if it hurt you more than it already did.
Watching over her from afar had not been an option. Because you wouldn’t have been able to help her as she watched the people she held dear the most in this life ruining themselves. And would ruin her as well. But within this small community it would have been obvious that there was something wrong if you had just appeared, too dangerous if you failed to alter the past to fit in.
So you took the route that was more difficult: from the outside, trying to get close while also trying to stay away. Because your feelings never changed one bit. You doubt they ever would. You died with them.
You tried your hardest and eventually managed to become friends with her. It was difficult to keep your feelings at bay, to not look at her as if she meant the world to you. Your world and hers were entirely different… After all, you are not supposed to stay with her, among the living. One day you would have to go.
You tried your best to ignore it, to deny it. No, she hadn’t started to smile at you like that again, like she did when everything was better, happier, and not as hard and complicated, decades and centuries ago. No, she didn’t look at you as if you were her world; you were never supposed to be part of it.
But fate was cruel to you. And so it had to be to her as well. Because she decided to take the step - as confident and graceful as it happened the first time, sure that your answer would stay the same.
Where had your act slipped? When did she notice your longing? Weren’t you able to hide those gazes? When she asked for you, your heart screamed at you to accept her confession. But your mind told you not to do it. And you were always a person that tended to listen to their rational part. So you said you couldn’t, with tears in your eyes because your heart cried.
You couldn’t do this anymore, so you decided to get away. And it hurt. Not just because of her but because you had made 7 other beautiful friends. You had tied yourself to this life with relationships you thought you would never have again. And now you had to pay the price.
A simple explanation. You had to move away again. You said you would try to keep contact. You knew it was a lie. You could have asked for those above you to alter their memories. But you didn’t. Because for once you wanted to be selfish and stay in this world, even if that was only possible through their memories.
The day you said you would leave came fast. But before you had to return to where you belonged… you wanted to see the sea again, for one last time. You had told no one, and yet you saw her walking over to you, leaving footprints in the sand.
Fate truly was cruel to you, but you guessed this was your punishment for attaching yourself yet again. To hurt you one last time because she was so close when she stood there, in front of you, while at the same time being unreachable…
A parting gift, that’s what she wanted to give you, she said. And thus, your lips met. This was another life and yet everything felt the same - her lips on yours, the way her fingers danced over the skin of your cheek or the way her raven hair mingled with your red in the wind.
Your eyes widened in shock and surprise. Never would you have thought that one day you would have her this close again.
Then she said you were her angel, and for a second you thought she knew. Until you remembered that that’s what she had called you back then. You felt like crying, and finally you did. You would return to your realm either way, so you allowed yourself to break. Where was the use in hiding if it all would be over soon?
So you leaned forward, wanting nothing more than to just feel her one more time. The kiss felt like eternity and yet you wished for it to last longer. When you pulled away you told her how much she meant to you, that you loved her. And that you wished the two of you could be together. Because you would never stop loving her. She just smiled at you, her green eyes wet from the tears that streamed down her cheeks and combined with yours when they hit the sand.
“We will meet each other again.” She said. And it was the last thing you hear, her face and her loving gaze the last you see before your vision got engulfed in white.
You open the door to the cafè with a sigh, desperate to get a coffee before you have to return to your desk to finish the last of your paperwork. You are tired… which is probably the reason why you bump into the person in front of you.
You are about to apologize when your gaze meets hers and you stop dead on your tracks. It’s as if you’ve been hit by some sort of realization and it confuses you. The person in front of you, with her black hair and green eyes… she looks so familiar. And you feel your heart speeding up. She also looks at you surprised, as if the same just happened to her.
Until she smiles at you, bright like a diamond. “It’s nice to meet you again.”